Observance of mandatory rules of conduct. Norms of behavior in society

Unfortunately, we are not always taught this in school. But many people are interested in the rules of behavior among friends and in a society of unfamiliar people. How to make the culture of etiquette a part of your life and become a welcome member of any company?

The norms and rules of behavior in society apply to all forms of human interaction with the outside world. Educated behavior implies that a person reacts correctly to any events and does not respond with outbursts of anger to negativity.

The formation of personality begins in childhood, so most of the responsibility for education lies with the parents. It is adults who should instill in the child love for loved ones, respect for others and, of course, good manners. And you need to do this not only with words, but also with your own example.

The next stage of personal development is self-education. Persistent and purposeful movement along this path forms character, allows you to consciously develop the most valuable human qualities in yourself and learn the rules of behavior accepted in society. There should be no excuses here, because today there are all the necessary resources for self-education - a wide network of libraries, theaters, television, the Internet. The main thing is not to absorb the entire flow of information, but to learn how to select the most valuable grains of truth.

To develop a culture of behavior, focus on aesthetic self-education. It develops a sense of beauty, teaches you to correctly understand and perceive the beauty of nature and art, to enjoy communication in a positive way. But it is worth making a reservation: it is not enough just to know and apply the rules of conduct adopted in our society. Lies and pretense are unacceptable here - in the heart of a truly educated person there is only a place for natural politeness, sensitivity and tact.

Listen first, then speak. Do not interrupt the interlocutor - you will have time to express your point of view later.

Basic norms and rules of behavior in society

Kindness and attention to others are the most important rules of social behavior. But the list of good manners is quite extensive. Let's consider the main ones:

Think not of yourself, but of others. Surrounding people prioritize sensitivity, not selfishness.
Show hospitality and friendliness. If you invite guests, treat them like your closest people.
Be polite in communication. Always say welcome and farewell words, thank for the gifts and services rendered, not only in word, but also in deed. A thank you letter, although it seems like a relic of the past, will be appropriate and pleasant for the recipient.
Avoid boasting. Let others judge you by your actions.
Listen first, then speak. Do not interrupt the interlocutor - you will have time to express your point of view later.
Don't point your finger at people and don't stare piercingly. This confuses them, especially the disabled.
Do not violate someone else's personal space - for example, do not get too close to unfamiliar people and use stuffy perfume. Never smoke in public without asking the permission of the interlocutors, especially in the presence of non-smokers - no one likes it.
Avoid criticism and complaints. A person with good manners tries not to offend people with negative statements and does not complain about fate.
Remain calm in all situations. Anger not only leads to unnecessary conflicts with others, but also brings dissonance into one's own inner world. Control your speech so as not to raise your voice, even if you start to get nervous.
Be punctual. Being late shows that you don't know how to plan your day and don't value other people's time.
Keep your word. An unfulfilled promise can lead to real tragedy in the life of the person you hope for.
Pay back your debts promptly. Failure to comply with this rule often causes not only the termination of friendship and good relationships, but also serious enmity.

In business, it’s not enough to just be a well-mannered person, but by following the rules of business etiquette, you will achieve success much faster.

Proper behavior in business society

In the business environment, as well as in social life, there is a certain etiquette. It largely repeats the basic rules of human behavior in society, but it also has its own nuances. Knowing the rules of business etiquette, you will gain recognition in the world of successful people, you will be able to quickly build a career or promote your own company to a leading market position. Of course, in business it is not enough to be just a well-mannered person, but following the rules of business etiquette, you will achieve success much faster.

Punctuality. One of the fundamental postulates of the business world is “time is money”. You can perfectly negotiate, present charismatic presentations, professionally manage staff, but ... "theft" of someone else's time through eternal delays negates the entire effect of positive qualities. A non-punctual person does not inspire trust and respect and is unlikely to find permanent partners among successful large companies. Correct behavior in a society of business people requires a clear planning of the working day and complete control over the course of events.
Dress code. Appearance is a visiting card of a person, which tells about his character and inner world more than any words. A provocative appearance shows a protest against the laws and foundations of society, and this is not accepted in the business world. But a strict business suit, a neat hairstyle and harmoniously selected accessories indicate that a person is ready to obey the universal rules and work in a single team.
Grammatically correct speech. Muttering under your breath or slang words will negate even the most correct appearance. If you do not have an innate gift for expressing thoughts clearly, work in this direction. Speech to the point, without unnecessary lyrical digressions, will help you find a common language with colleagues and clients and will be a good help for moving up the career ladder.
Compliance with trade secrets. In life they do not like talkers and gossips, and in the business world they do not like disloyal employees. Disclosure of company secrets can not only cause dismissal, but also cause difficulties with subsequent employment - the spy immediately falls into the unofficial "black list" of unreliable employees.

Respect. A professional always shows courtesy to his partners, clients and colleagues. The ability to listen to other people's arguments without arguing or criticism and to discuss disagreements in a constructive and positive way is an invaluable quality of a business person.
Mutual assistance. You need to help colleagues in word and deed, especially those who have recently worked with you. In most cases, good returns to us a hundredfold.
Responsibility. Everyone knows that work has to be done. However, many employees spend working hours chatting and doing personal things. This is a direct irresponsibility in relation to the common cause. Half the trouble if it affects only the loafers themselves. But the failure of an important project can leave the company without profit, and employees without salaries.
Telephone etiquette. Business negotiations on the phone require a special approach, because at a distance with the interlocutor it is impossible to establish visual and emotional contact. To leave a positive opinion about yourself, do not interrupt the interlocutor, speak clearly and clearly, ask questions only on the case. Speaking of telephone etiquette within the company, then try to avoid personal calls during working hours - they distract the attention of other employees and position you as a frivolous chatty person.

It is perhaps impossible to list all the rules and norms of human behavior in society and at work. To pass for a well-mannered person, do not forget the basics of the culture of etiquette and show people the attitude that you wish yourself.

The world around us is constantly changing: entire epochs go into the past, scientific and technological progress develops, new professions appear and people themselves become different. This means that the rules of behavior in society also do not stand still. Today you can no longer meet the curtsy and bows that were relevant in the centuries preceding the 21st century. So how should one behave in modern society? Learn about it right now!

What are "rules of conduct in society" in general?

Often a person does not even think about the fact that this voluminous concept has a more compact version, which is used mainly in social science classes at school or by sociologists - these are “social norms”. Speaking in scientific terms, the meaning of this term lies in the existence of common established patterns of individual behavior that have evolved over a long period of time in the course of the practical activities of society. It is this activity that develops standard models of correct, expected and socially approved behavior. This includes many different categories: customs and traditions, aesthetic, legal, religious, corporate, political and a number of other norms and, of course, the rules of behavior in society. The latter may differ depending on the country, age and even gender of a particular individual. Nevertheless, in general, there are universal rules and norms of behavior in society, following which, there is no doubt that success in communication and interaction is guaranteed!

First meeting and acquaintance

The rules of conduct established by society state that in the case of acquaintance, one should submit:

man - woman;
the youngest in age and position - the oldest in the same categories;
those who came later - already present.

At the same time, the person they are introduced to is mentioned first in the appeal, for example: “Maria, get acquainted - Ivan!” or “Alexander Sergeevich, this is Artyom!”.

When introducing people to each other, it is recommended to briefly characterize them in order to start a conversation and specify who the “organizer” of the acquaintance is this person: “Elena, this is my brother Konstantin, he is a geologist.” Then the girl will have the opportunity to continue the conversation, for example, asking Konstantin about the features of his profession, asking in more detail about family matters, etc.

Greetings

The rules of conduct in society also regulate the manner in which people greet each other. So, men are the first to address women with a salutatory word, and those who are younger in position and / or age - to the elders.

However, it must be borne in mind that, regardless of social status and age, a person entering the room should always be the first to greet.

When two couples meet, the girls/women are the first to greet each other, then the men greet them, and only after that the gentlemen exchange greetings among themselves.

When shaking hands, the first to give the hand is the one to whom the stranger was introduced, but at the same time, the lady is always the man, the elder is the younger, the leader is the subordinate, even if the employee is a woman. The rules of conduct adopted in society indicate: if a seated person is given a hand to shake, he must stand up. A man should take off his glove, for ladies this condition is optional.

If at a meeting one of the couple or company greeted the person they met, then the rest are encouraged to greet him as well.

Politeness and tact

The rules of conduct in modern society also require a person to be tactful and relaxed in communication, which will allow him not to be considered unpleasant and unethical in certain circles.

So, it is highly recommended not to point a finger at a person. You should not interfere in the conversation of outsiders when they discuss personal topics and are not in the mood to accept another interlocutor. Attentive and intelligent people will not belittle the dignity of others in communication, interrupt a speaking interlocutor, raise incorrect and unrecommended topics in a conversation (for example, about political views, religion, painful moments of life, etc.). When communicating with an unfamiliar person, it is especially recommended to stick to neutral topics, such as sports, hobbies and hobbies, culinary passions, travel, attitudes towards cinema and music, and others - then all participants in the conversation will have a positive impression of communication.

Do not belittle the meaning of the existing so-called magic words, namely, “sorry”, “please”, “thank you”, “goodbye”. The familiar appeal to “you” is not recommended to be used even by successful people who have successfully realized themselves in life, because this is a sign of a lack of elementary culture and education. The rules of human behavior in society are optimal models established for everyone, regardless of financial condition, social status, standard of living, etc.

Correct speech

The rules of behavior in society require a person to be able to correctly express their own thoughts, because, as you know, whoever thinks harmoniously speaks in exactly the same way.

You should speak at a moderate pace, calmly, not too loudly, because attracting too much attention to yourself by raising your tone is the wrong approach to business. The interlocutor should be captivated by his own erudition, breadth of views and knowledge of certain areas of life.

Unnecessarily complaining about your problems or “pulling out” the interlocutor for a frank conversation, when he demonstrates a clear unwillingness to share his innermost, is considered bad manners.

Mood

In addition, the norms and rules of people's behavior in society require for the period of interaction and conversation to put aside existing life difficulties, bad mood, pessimism and a negative attitude towards something. You can only say this to a very close person. Otherwise, there is a risk of being misunderstood by the interlocutor, leaving an unpleasant aftertaste from the conversation. It is also not recommended to talk about bad news, otherwise there is a great chance at a subconscious level to "attach" to your person an association with everything bad, bleak, unpleasant.

What tone should be set?

Of course, the conversation in the company is best given a light-hearted, half-joking, half-serious tone. You should not clow too much in the hope of winning the attention of others, otherwise you can forever get a reputation as a jester with narrow thinking and a look at things, which will later be difficult to get rid of.

How to behave in a cultural place, at an event or at a party?

It is considered offensive to laugh out loud, openly discuss others, stare at someone in a public place where people come to relax and unwind.

It is recommended to turn off the mobile phone in quiet places, such as cinemas, theaters, museums, speeches and lectures, etc., beforehand.

When moving between rows of seated people, it is necessary to face them, and not vice versa. In this case, the man goes first, the woman behind him.

With the manifestation of feelings, such as kisses or hugs, it is better to wait and not demonstrate them in front of the public, because such open tenderness may be unpleasant for some.

At exhibitions, you should not take pictures where it is prohibited, as well as touch the exhibits.

If a person was invited to visit, he needs to take care to come as accurately as possible at the indicated hour. Being late or arriving too early means being tactless and disrespectful towards the owner of the house.

The optimal time frame for making a visit, which should not be like a snowball for the host, is considered to be from 12 noon to 20 pm. At the same time, it is impossible to stay up late when they are not asked about it, because in this way you can simply violate the plans of another person and his time schedule. An empty-handed visit, with another, uninvited, person, in a state of intoxication - all this can cause the host to no longer want to host such an unethical individual in the future.

As you can see, it is not difficult to follow the simplest social rules of behavior, the main thing is to start, and then they will become a habit and, as a result, will bring a lot of benefits!

The rules of behavior in society are developed from childhood, but it is always useful to refresh them in memory. Entering adulthood, everyone makes their own adjustments and prioritizes. Depending on how a person copes with this task, his relations in society are formed. Failure to follow simple rules can lead to complete collapse, compliance - life prosperity and success. At first glance, it seems difficult, but the game is worth the candle!

By and large, the most important criterion is one rule of behavior established in society - you need to behave the way you would like to be treated. The same goes for the commandments of any religion. The rest - in fact, comes from this rule. Regardless of gender, age or wealth, one must treat others courteously, tactfully, kindly, not to reveal irritation, rudeness and disrespect. This is what is called etiquette.

Etiquette

This concept has entered the culture since the time of Louis XIV. When he arranged magnificent receptions, in one place there were many aristocrats - armed arrogant people. To prevent the matter from ending in squabbles, at the entrance to his guests were given cards listing the basic rules of behavior in society. In modern life, important social norms are violated everywhere, as it is believed that the failure to comply with social norms is a sign of freedom and independence. But it is unpleasant for anyone to receive caustic remarks addressed to him, to hear sharp and rude cries after him or obscene statements. Those who do this are rarely successful.

By observing simple rules, we not only promote our own interests, but also significantly increase the social level of the society's culture.

Rules of conduct in society for men

A good upbringing does not allow dressing according to the latest fashion trends - this is due to "dandies" and "posers". Clothing should be no frills, practical and tasteful - the ability to dress properly causes respect and location of others. Wearing a large amount is a foolish tone;
No need to stick out your virtues, if they are worth it, others will notice them. That is why modest people are rarely objects of envy and ridicule;
Think like a sage, talk like the people around you;
The ability to remain silent and listen makes a man a good conversationalist. It is extremely difficult to develop this quality, but everyone should learn it. An Arabic proverb says: "Don't let your tongue cut your throat".
It is not enough for a passing lady to simply nod her head, any self-respecting man should be able to gracefully remove his hat, bow or show himself in another worthy way;
The women's restroom is a place where no decent man will go, even by invitation;
Men should not group according to interests and leave their women unattended, at least not for a long time;
Staircase for a woman is an extremely difficult barrier, do not forget that, unlike you, she is wearing thin and dangerous heels. Climbing the stairs, gently hold her by the elbow, you can go ahead, but not behind - this is bad manners;
It is impossible to speed up or slow down the pace of the step, considering passing ladies on the street;
Smoking in the presence of your lady means exposing her reputation to doubt by others;
Do not show your selfishness and often yield in small things;
Having met on the street an unfamiliar person above you in position, you do not need to pretend that you recognized him, wait until he recognizes you;
Never scold the shortcomings or praise the talents of one woman in front of another;
The dignity of a man will not allow in society to ridicule a person present or absent. Even witty remarks can cause laughter, but not respect;
Use loneliness to control your thoughts. Form relationships in the family circle, showing character and wisdom, watch your speech and behavior outside the home.

Rules of conduct in society for women

A woman can be without makeup, hair, in her favorite dressing gown and funny slippers to children's tears - it will even look cute. ? Yes, they are different, but if they do not know how to behave, beauty disappears, they will not be able to save: makeup, clothes and even the most chic hairstyle. They should never forget that this is what decorates and exalts them to the level of respected and loved ones. Modern women often blame men for rudeness, slovenliness, stinginess and bad manners. Therefore, in order to avoid injustice, consider the basic rules that a lady must adhere to so that a man and the people around her treat her like a lady.

A woman is naturally endowed with wisdom, but you should not stick out your mind and boast of your superiority;
The ability to dress thinly and tastefully, the path to success not only in the business sphere, but also in personal life;
"Beauty requires sacrifice" is a woman's motto. Even the neighbors should not see you in a tattered robe with curlers on your head, not to mention a man;
Kindness, sincerity and compassion should be the basic elements in the daily rush. Move the old person across the road if you see him confused and frightened in a huge stream of cars;
Swear words are used only by those who do not know Russian well, well-read is a strong trump card in the hands of a weak woman. A skillful interlocutor tactfully achieves the desired "less blood";
The ability to "keep face" is one of the most important factors when going out. Loud laughter, sharp attacks, vivid displays of emotion, sweeping gestures and tantrums in public are the rules of bad taste;
The lady knows how to gracefully network into the car, sit down on a chair and keep your posture;
An educated person does not ignore the rules of human behavior in society, he will turn off his mobile phone: in the cinema, in a restaurant, in a business meeting, not considering this an infringement of personal rights;
It is not every day that you can get to a served table according to all the rules and traditions, but a woman will not show that she cannot make out the sequence of using the devices. She will deftly get out of this situation and make up for this omission in the future - this applies to any skills. It is impossible to know everything at once, there are always gaps to fill;
No self-respecting lady will rush into the arms of the first person she meets, as she knows her own worth and behaves accordingly. Even if she had a romantic relationship with a man, she will not question her reputation and will carry on a conversation about the weather, science, cinema, art or painting;
Every woman, being a mother, strives to teach her child how to use cutlery, realizing that this is extremely important. There is no more pitiful sight when a child does not know how to eat this or that dish;
Not everyone adheres to the rules of human behavior in society, so you may be asked a tactless question that you don’t want to answer. Your task is to get out of this situation with dignity, smiling meaningfully or raising an eyebrow. Even a look can say more than words. These methods work discouragingly for the most part;
Not everyone can dance a mazurka or a polka, but every lady should be able to waltz, these things are the basis of etiquette;
Everyone has their own interests and preferences, but the basics of history and culture need to be known at a young age. For example, who is Repin, Rubens, Rembrandt, Mozart, Beethovin, Glinka, etc.;
You should never forget that you are a woman, you should open the door, let you go ahead, move your chair, etc. Men do these elementary things only for those women who follow all of the above rules.

Knowing etiquette you will feel much more confident.

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In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, elementary politeness, a neat appearance and the ability to manage one's emotions.

website presents you with a selection of current rules that every self-respecting person and others should know.

If you say the phrase: "I invite you," it means you pay. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
Never visit without calling. If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers. One British lady said that when intruders appeared, she always put on shoes, a hat and took an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!”. If unpleasant: "Oh, what a pity, I have to leave."
Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. In doing so, you show how important the communication device is in your life and how much you are not interested in annoying chatter going on nearby. At any moment, you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check the feed on Instagram, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have come to Angry Birds.

You should not invite a girl on a date and communicate with her through SMS messages.
A man never carries a woman's bag. And he takes a woman's coat only to carry it to the locker room.
If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
Many people think that sushi can only be eaten with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Men, unlike women, can eat sushi with their hands.
Shoes should ALWAYS be clean.
Do not talk on the phone with empty chatter. If you're in need of a heart-to-heart conversation, it's best to meet with a friend face to face.
If you have been insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice to the person who insulted you. Don't stoop to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
On the street, a man should walk to the left of the lady. On the right, only military personnel can go, who must be ready to perform a military salute.
Drivers should remember that cold-bloodedly spraying passers-by with mud is flagrant incivility.
A woman may keep her hat and gloves on indoors, but not her hat and mittens.
Nine things should be kept secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of the medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

Having come to the cinema, theater, to a concert, you should only go to your seats facing those who are sitting. The man goes first.
A man always enters the restaurant first, the main reason is that on this basis the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the institution and who will pay. In the case of the arrival of a large company - enters first and pays the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant came. But if a porter meets visitors at the entrance, then the man must let the first woman through. After that, the gentleman finds free places.
You should never touch a woman unwillingly, take her hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her hand above the elbow, except when you help her get into or out of a vehicle, or cross the street .
If someone calls you impolitely (for example: “Hey, you!”), You should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture, educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach an etiquette lesson by your own example.
The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If by the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
A well-bred man will NEVER allow himself not to show due respect to a woman.
In the presence of a woman, men smoke only with her permission.
Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when you enter the room, say hello first.
Keep correspondence confidential. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same with each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is doing extremely ugly.
Don't try to keep up with fashion. It is better to look not fashionable, but good, than fashionable and bad.

If after an apology you are forgiven - you should not return to the offensive question again and ask for forgiveness again, just do not repeat such mistakes.
Laughing too loudly, talking noisily, staring at people intently is offensive.
Do not forget to thank loved ones, relatives and friends. Their good deeds and willingness to offer their help is not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

And finally, here are the words of the legendary American actor Jack Nicholson:

“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Do not shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go ahead. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I am careful about my manners. It's not some kind of abstraction. It is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”

etiquette, norms of behavior, interaction of people, competent socio-cultural space

Annotation:

One of the basic principles of life in a modern secular society is the maintenance of normal relations between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can be earned only with respect for courtesy and restraint. But in life you often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, disrespect for another person. The reason for this is that very often the basics of etiquette culture are ignored, which is part of the general secular culture, the foundations of which are attention and respect for others.

Article text:

A person throughout his life is in the socio-cultural space, where the rules of behavior play one of the main roles. These rules are called etiquette.

Etiquette (French - etiquette) is a set of rules of conduct adopted in society, establishing the order of secular behavior, which enables people to effortlessly use ready-made forms of decent behavior and generally accepted politeness for cultural communication among themselves at various levels of the structure of society, in light, while in the process of communication it is worthy to take into account the interests of others in their behavior.

The word etiquette itself has been used since the time of Louis XIV, at whose receptions guests were given cards listing the rules of conduct required of them. These cards are "labels" and gave the name to etiquette. In French, this word has two meanings: a label and a set of rules, a conditional order of conduct.

Understanding etiquette as a system of established mutual expectations, approved “models” and rules of secular communication between people, it should be recognized, however, that the real norms of behavior and ideas about “what should be done” change significantly over time. What was previously considered indecent may become generally accepted, and vice versa. Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under one circumstance may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances.

Of course, various peoples make their own corrections and additions to etiquette, due to the specifics of the historical development of their culture. Therefore, etiquette also reflects a specific system of national signs-symbols of communication, positive traditions, customs, rituals, rituals that correspond to the historically determined conditions of life and the moral and aesthetic needs of people.

Consideration of all aspects of etiquette is not possible, since etiquette passes through all areas of a person's public and private life. In turn, we will focus on its most important norms such as tact, politeness, and sensitivity. Let's touch on such a thing as "inequality". Let's analyze the levels of behavior, the internal and external culture of a person. Let's highlight the rules of telephone communication. The last position was not chosen by chance, since the telephone currently occupies a leading position in communication, sometimes replacing interpersonal, and sometimes even intergroup communication.

In this regard, one of the most necessary norms and foundations of etiquette is politeness, which is manifested in many specific rules of conduct: in greeting, in addressing a person, in the ability to remember his name and patronymic, the most important dates of his life. True politeness is certainly benevolent, since it is one of the manifestations of sincere, disinterested benevolence towards people with whom one has to communicate.

Other important human qualities on which the rules of etiquette are based are tact and sensitivity. They imply attention, deep respect for those with whom we communicate, the desire and ability to understand them, to feel what can give them pleasure, joy, or, conversely, cause irritation, annoyance, resentment. Tact, sensitivity are manifested in a sense of proportion that should be observed in conversation, in personal and official relationships, in the ability to feel the boundary beyond which words and deeds can cause undeserved resentment, grief, pain in a person.

In addition to the basic principles of etiquette: politeness, tact, modesty, there are also general rules of secular behavior. These include, for example, the "inequality" of people in the field of etiquette, expressed, in particular, in the form of advantages that have:

women before men
older before younger
the sick before the healthy,
superior to subordinates.

The norms of etiquette - in contrast to the norms of morality - are conditional, they are in the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. The convention of etiquette in each case can be explained. Aimed at uniting people, it offers generally accepted forms, stereotypes of behavior, symbols of the manifestation of thoughts and feelings, which make it easier for people to understand each other.

At the same time, etiquette can also be considered as an aesthetic form of manifestation of moral, secular culture, since it is simultaneously directly related to morality, to the moral character of a person and to the aesthetic aspects of his behavior. Beautiful manners, beautiful behavior, beautiful gestures, postures, facial expressions, smile, look, i.e. what speaks about a person, his feelings and thoughts without words; speech addressed to elders, peers, younger at a meeting and parting, in anger and joy; the manner of moving, eating, wearing clothes and jewelry, celebrating sad and joyful events, receiving guests - a person should give all these types of communication not only a moral, but also an aesthetic character.

In any case, etiquette is an integral fragment of the structure of the socio-cultural matrix and is a significant part of modern secular behavior, although, of course, not all human behavior in general. In fact, it implies only the generally accepted rules and manners of human behavior in society in the places determined for this, where one can observe the external side of the actions of individuals, in which they manifest themselves like a kind of pre-learned game of the intellect.

Based on the current lifestyle of a modern person, his social relations and activities, it is easy to list all those conventions of secular behavior that are initially associated with generally recognized etiquette and determine its corresponding ethical and aesthetic norms. All of them should be studied and repeated, be well known to all citizens of the country. These norms apply to almost all aspects of life and life, as well as areas of human social activity, causing his behavior in the family, at a party, at school, at work, and in public places, on the roads, when he is a pedestrian and when he is a driver, in hotels, in parks, on the beach, on an airplane, at an airport, in a public toilet, etc. etc.

At the same time, it should be borne in mind that in most public places, citizens need only a simple knowledge of good manners and the ability to behave with restraint, culture and politeness, without attracting attention from other people and thereby not preventing them from being in your society.

At the same time, there are also such public places where knowledge of etiquette alone is not enough for citizens. Other basic fragments of the sociocultural matrix considered above (ethical, aesthetic, civic, value, environmental, etc.) should be used to some extent, as well as the ability to feel the system of balance of interests and, above all, to have the ability to take into account the interests of others. put them above your own.

For this, more serious norms and laws of conduct are applied, arising from the rights, duties and interests of citizens, civil servants, and entrepreneurs. Without knowledge of the relevant fragments of the socio-cultural matrix, individuals cannot be named, certified by status or admitted to the corresponding cells of social activity or government positions. And the higher the social place of an individual's activity in the structure of social relations, the greater the requirements, in addition to knowledge of etiquette, should be imposed on his behavior, the more his behavior should be determined by the duties of this individual to other members of society, society in understanding their specific interests, the interests of society as a whole. - national interests.

Based on this, it can be argued that the culture of human behavior consists of two parts: internal and external.

Internal culture is the knowledge, skills, feelings and abilities that underlie the fundamental fragments of the individual socio-cultural matrix of a person, acquired through his upbringing, education, development of consciousness and intellect, professional training, the signs of good results of which should be his virtue, knowledge of the interests of others, diligence and high morals.

External culture is a lifestyle and behavior patterns that are manifested in everyday life and in social activities during direct contacts, communication with other people, with environmental objects. External culture, as a rule, is a direct product of a person's internal culture, is closely related to it, although there are some nuances.

So, individual manifestations of external culture may not reflect the internal culture of the individual or even contradict it. This happens in cases of painful manifestations of the psyche, as well as in cases of behavioral "mimicry", when an ill-mannered individual tries to impersonate a well-bred one. However, with a longer observation of it, these contradictions are easily detected. Therefore, a truly cultured and efficient person can be such only thanks to his diligent upbringing. And, on the contrary, the external manifestations of an individual's bad manners testify to his inner emptiness, which means immorality, the complete absence of an elementary internal culture.

External culture is not always completely dependent on the internal one and sometimes for some time can hide the lack of the latter. A good knowledge of the rules of etiquette and their observance can mitigate the lack of a high internal culture, developed consciousness and intelligence, although not for long.

External culture is called differently: a culture of behavior, etiquette, good manners, good manners, good manners, culture ... This suggests that, depending on the specific task, people focus on one side of the external culture: most often either knowledge of the rules of conduct and their observance, or on the degree of taste, tact, skill in mastering external culture.

External culture consists of two "parts": that which comes from the elements of social sociocultural matrices (various instructions, charters, generally accepted rules, decency, etiquette) and that which comes from the upbringing and enlightenment of a secular person (manners, delicacy, tact, taste , sense of humor, conscientiousness, etc.).

There are rules of conduct of different levels and content:
1) the level of universal rules adopted in modern secular society, incl. among well-bred people - the intelligentsia;
2) the level of national regulations or regulations adopted in a given country;
3) the level of rules adopted in a given locality (in a village, city, region);
4) the level of rules adopted in a particular non-secular social stratum (among the inhabitants, among adherents of a particular religious denomination or sect, among corrupt high-ranking officials, in the beau monde, among oligarchs and other individuals with ultra-high incomes, etc. .).
5) the level of secular rules adopted in a particular professional community or public organization (medical workers, lawyers, policemen, military, among actors, civil servants, members of a particular party ...)
6) the level of secular rules adopted in a particular institution (educational, medical, state, commercial ...)

Speaking about the external manifestations of ethical or aesthetic fragments of the sociocultural matrix of individuals, it should be noted that here, too, one can observe a wide variety of types of behavior: both delicacy and rudeness, and good and bad manners, and good and bad taste.

In situations where a person does not know certain rules of conduct adopted in a given society, but he has certain skills of upbringing and knowledge of the basics of etiquette, he can to some extent compensate for his ignorance with flair, intuition, based on innate or acquired delicacy, tact, taste.

There are very complex relationships between rules and internal regulators of behavior. They are opposite - internal and external, typical and individual, although at the same time they can "work" in one direction. Normal relationships between people are generally a delicate matter that is easily torn if people treat each other rudely, especially now in the age of constant stress and increased mental stress.

The ability to listen to the interlocutor is an indispensable requirement of speech etiquette. This, of course, does not mean that one should sit silently. But it's tactless to interrupt another. When talking together, you also need to be able to listen, It happens that you have to be silent when you feel that your words can inflame passions. Do not start a heated argument in defense of your opinion. Such disputes spoil the mood of those present.

If a person wants to improve, to be better, to be worthy of love, kindness, wants to be respected, then he must take care of himself, his words-actions, cleanse himself, not give himself rest in this. After all, it is known that good breeding is an outward expression of the inner delicacy of the soul, which consists in general benevolence and attention to all people.

Politeness does not necessarily mean really respectful treatment of a person, just as rudeness does not necessarily mean really disrespectful treatment of a person. A person can be rude due to the fact that he rotated in a rough environment, did not see other patterns of behavior.

Thus, politeness is a moral quality that characterizes the behavior of a person for whom respect for people has become a daily norm of behavior and a habitual way of dealing with others.

An important aspect of etiquette is the concept of good manners, which requires study and exercise; it must, so to speak, become second nature to us. True, much that is called good tone and refined taste is an inborn delicacy, and therefore it is true that a person can assimilate everything and learn everything, but not delicacy. But delicacy is not everything, and natural taste needs to be improved. Good examples and personal efforts contribute to this.

In addition, in etiquette there is such a thing as decency. This is the least conspicuous of all the concepts of etiquette, but the most revered.

So, only the one who embarrasses the least number of people has good manners. After all, each person, as a rule, lives in society, i.e. among other people. Therefore, his every act, every desire, every statement is reflected in these people. For this reason, there must be a boundary between what he wants to say or do, and what is possible, what will be pleasant or unpleasant to others. In this regard, each time he needs to make a self-assessment, whether any of his statements or actions will cause harm, cause inconvenience or trouble. Every time he must act in such a way that the people around him feel good.

To the basics of etiquette, known to everyone since childhood, there are three magic words: please, thank you, sorry (sorry).

Every request must be accompanied by the word "please".

For any service or help, you need to thank, say “thank you”.

For any trouble caused to another, you need to apologize or ask for forgiveness.

These magic words need to be learned to speak without thinking, automatically. The absence of these words in appropriate situations or their non-automatic, unnatural use means either impoliteness, rudeness, or a declaration of hostility.

There are no “little things” in etiquette, more precisely, it all consists of “little things” strung on a single rod of politeness, attention to people. Etiquette begins with a certain order and rules of greetings, addresses, introductions and acquaintances.

Given the "inequality" in etiquette, it should be borne in mind that the young are obliged to be the first to greet the elders, those who enter are present, those who are late are waiting, etc. At official receptions, first of all, the hostess and the owner are greeted, after them the ladies, first the older ones, then the young ones, then the older and older men, and then the rest of the guests. The mistress of the house must shake hands with all invited guests.

It should be remembered that the handshake accepted in our country and in the West at a meeting and when introducing a man and a woman in Muslim countries is completely inappropriate: Islam does not accept even a simple contact between people of different sexes who are not related by blood ties. It is not customary to shake hands among the peoples of Southeast Asia.

Of great importance when greetings is the manner of holding. You should look directly at the person you greet with a smile. When addressing a stranger, unfamiliar person or official, you should always say “you”. The form of address "you" expresses a closer relationship with a person. When referring to "you", many formalities that testify to an external, detached form of politeness disappear.

No less complex are the etiquette rules of dating. The first step to establishing an acquaintance is introduction. When introducing themselves or introducing someone, they usually call the surname, first name, patronymic, sometimes - the position or title. If you are visiting an institution or official on official or personal business, then before starting a business conversation, you should introduce yourself and, if available, give your “visiting card”. Representation is also necessary if you are addressing a stranger by what or question.

An integral attribute of modern etiquette is the ethics of telephone conversations. Its most important points include the following:
1) You should always introduce yourself when you call if you are not familiar or unfamiliar with the addressee or if you rarely call this addressee. It should also be taken into account that telephone communication can be poor, i.e. your voice is barely audible or distorted, and therefore even a good friend may not immediately figure out who he is talking to.
2) It is almost always necessary to ask whether a person is busy or not and how much time he has for a telephone conversation. Unceremonious is the behavior of the caller, who immediately, without the necessary clarification of the boundaries of the conversation, begins to conduct this conversation.
3) If you get a call, and you are very busy and cannot talk, then, as a rule, the burden of a second call is not on the one who called, but on you. There can be two exceptions here:
- if the caller does not have a phone;
- if for some reason it is difficult to call the person who called you. It is impolite to force the caller to call you back because you are busy. When you do this, you unwittingly make it clear that you value-respect him less than yourself.
4) When they call on the phone and ask not you, but another person, it is impolite to ask “who is this?” or "who's talking?" First, it is indecent to answer a question with a question. Secondly, with your question, you can put the person who asks in an uncomfortable position. The questioner is not always disposed to introduce himself to an outsider who picks up the phone. His right is to remain incognito to strangers. Asking "Who's talking?" voluntarily or involuntarily "climbs into the soul" of the caller. On the other hand, asking "who is speaking?" voluntarily or involuntarily, "penetrates into the soul" and the one who is directly called, since the addressee may also want to keep the secret of his relationship with the caller. (This is what parents sometimes do in their desire to control every step of their adult children, which limits their right to privacy. Excessive control and excessive guardianship on the part of parents leads to the fact that adult children either remain infantile, dependent or alienated from their parents.) in the absence of the addressee, you need to ask not “who is speaking?”, but “what to send to the addressee?”
5) In a telephone conversation, business or telegraphic style should prevail, with rare exceptions. Talking around and around is inappropriate. It is necessary, if possible, to immediately formulate the questions for which you are calling, and do not be shy to ask the same interlocutor if he is “carried away” by a conversation on extraneous topics. You need to ask the interlocutor to move to the subject of a telephone conversation tactfully, without rude interruption of his speech. In principle, non-business conversations on the phone are also acceptable, but only after it turns out that both parties have the desire and time to conduct such conversations.
6) It must be kept in mind that telephone communication is not as complete as face-to-face communication. Therefore, the requirements for the conversation as a whole are more stringent, i.e. you need to be more careful and prudent. A word spoken on the phone and a word spoken face to face can be evaluated in different and even opposite ways.

In a telephone conversation, you need to speak less emotionally, joke more carefully, try to avoid harsh words and expressions.

Two more concepts of etiquette that should be noted are commitment and accuracy. An optional person is very inconvenient for others, although he can be nice, courteous, etc. Such a person cannot be relied upon, cannot be counted on. Let him not be offended if they cease to respect him and avoid communication with him. “Accuracy is the courtesy of kings,” says the saying. He is not a king who is not obligatory, who behaves carelessly in relation to his own obligation.

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