State autonomous educational institution
Secondary vocational education
"Baikal Basic Medical College
Ministry of Health of the Republic of Buryatia"
Interpersonal relations in the student team
Andreeva L. M.
Introduction
§ 2. Studies of the motivation for going to college
§.3. Analysis of the results of the study of interpersonal relations on sociometry
§ 4. Analysis of the results of self-esteem research in a student group
Conclusion
List of information sources used
Introduction
Relevance
The system of secondary vocational education in Russia is undergoing transformation and is adapting to new market conditions. At the same time, health care reform places new demands on nursing professionals. Today, medical institutions need not just a nurse, but a specialist who is able to creatively approach their work, a well-educated professional.
The idea of integrity, unity of personal and professional development of a student formed the basis for the formation of a future specialist. The standard of the graduate model includes such integral personality characteristics as competence, emotional and behavioral flexibility.
The assessment of these qualities is based on a combination of a number of psychological techniques that allow tracking and forming a standard of a graduate's personality.
The art of communication, the ability to build relationships with people, to find an approach to them are necessary for everyone. This skill is the basis of life and professional success.
Youth is the age when there is a significant expansion of the circle of communication. At the end of the period of adolescence, a person is focused on mastering the profession. According to the authors Mukhina V.S., Gamezo M.V., Petrova E.A., Khukhlaeva O.V., the so-called peak of interpersonal communication falls on youth.
Interpersonal relationships arise and develop on the basis of certain feelings that people have in relation to each other. Emotions and feelings perform a regulatory function in the interaction between people due to the fact that they appear as a norm of behavior, as a willingness to act in a certain way in relation to certain people.
The relevance of the problem of interpersonal relations in adolescence lies in the fact that at this age the features of the relationship of the individual with others are determined, which affect its formation and development, as well as the development of individuality; in the actions of the individual, a set of norms, rules and forms of behavior is formed, the individual asserts his place in society.
The problem of interpersonal relations was considered in Russian psychology by V.N. Myasishchev, A.V. Petrovsky, A.A. Bodalev, Ya.L. Kolominsky, E.O. Smironov. Myasishchev V.N. developed a theory of relationships, in which the attitude of the individual is always structural and includes the simplest emotional experiences; through the inclusion of evaluative relations in connection with norms and normative criteria, beliefs are formed. Bodalev A.A. developed patterns of formation of relations. Kolominsky Ya.L. defines communication as "such information and subject interaction between people, during which their interpersonal relationships are realized, manifested and formed."
Purpose of the study: Research objectives: 1. 2. . .Develop recommendations for the formation of interpersonal relationships Object of study- interpersonal relationships Subject of study Hypothesis:if corrective classes are held to form team cohesion, then the level of interpersonal relations will increase The methodological basis of the study is a set of philosophical, socio-psychological provisions that reveal the essence of the psychology of interpersonal relations. The theoretical significance of the study lies in the fact that it allows you to expand and clarify the idea of interpersonal relationships in adolescence. Theoretical and experimental results are significant for personality psychology. The practical significance lies in the fact that the data obtained in it allow us to determine ways to optimize the problem of interpersonal relations in society. The results of the study can be used in the practice of psychologists in secondary educational institutions to diagnose the characteristics of interpersonal relationships. interpersonal attitude student team Chapter I. The problem of interpersonal relations in psychology
Studying the individual, we turn to his immediate environment, and through the prism of interpersonal relations, his micro-society, we begin to better understand the problems of the personality and the roots of its personification. If we talk about attitude, then we must keep in mind the subjective connection that is established by a person, an event and manifests itself in his emotional reactions and certain activities. V.N. Myasishchev gave a classic definition of personality relations: "Relationships are an integral system of individual, selective, conscious connections of a person with different aspects of objective reality, including three interrelated components: a person's attitude to people, to himself, to objects of the outside world" . The definition of "interpersonal" indicates not only that the object of the relationship is another person, but also the mutual orientation of the relationship. Interpersonal relationships differ from such types as self-attitude, attitude towards objects, intergroup relations. The concept of "interpersonal relations" focuses on the emotional and sensory aspect of interaction between people and introduces the time factor and the analysis of communication, since under the condition of interpersonal communication, through the continuous exchange of information, there is a dependence of people who have come into contact with each other, and mutual responsibility for the existing relationship. The interaction of a person with the social system is carried out through a set of connections, thanks to which he becomes a personality, a subject of activity and an individuality. Relations that arise between people in the process of communication, joint practical and spiritual activities, are defined as social relations. The reasons for such relations can be industrial, political, legal, moral, religious, psychological and others. Psychological relations between people are usually divided into official and informal in accordance with the organization where they are formed. Official relations are sanctioned, documented and controlled by society or individual representatives. Informal relationships may be recognized and even encouraged by formal organizations, but they are not documented. There are business and personal or (interpersonal relationships). Business relations are associated with educational or labor joint activities and are determined by it. Personal relationships can be evaluative (admiration, popularity) and effective (associated with interaction), they are conditioned not so much by objective conditions as by the subjective need for communication and satisfaction of this need. N.N. Obozov offers the following classification of interpersonal relationships: acquaintance, friendly, comradely, friendly, love, marital, kinship and destructive. This classification is based on several criteria: the depth of relationships, selectivity and choice of partners, the function of relationships. The main criterion, in his opinion, is the measure, the depth of the individual's involvement in relationships, and additional criteria are the distance between partners, the duration and frequency of contacts, the participation of role clichés in acts of communication, the norms of relations, the requirements for contact conditions. According to N.N. Obozov, different types of interpersonal relationships involve the inclusion of certain levels of personality characteristics in communication. Interpersonal relations in a group can be considered in statics, in the form in which they have formed at a given point in time, and in dynamics, i.e. in the process of development. In the first case, the features of the existing system of relations are analyzed, in the second - the laws of their transformation and development. These two approaches often coexist with each other and complement each other. Relationships in groups naturally change. At first, at the initial stage of group development, they are relatively indifferent (people who do not know or know each other poorly cannot definitely relate to each other), then they can become conflict, and under favorable conditions, turn into collectivist. When analyzing the life and activities of an individual who enters into communication with other people, they most often abstract from a broad understanding of the category "relationship", taking into account only its narrower meaning, in this case we are talking about interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relationships are a kind of personality relationships that are revealed in relationships with other people. Interpersonal relationships are emotional in nature. They are accompanied by various experiences (likes and dislikes). To refer to interpersonal relationships in psychology, the term "relationship" is used. The main criterion is depth - a measure of the involvement of a person in a relationship. In the structure of the personality, several levels of manifestation of its characteristics can be distinguished: general species, sociocultural, psychological, individual. Sociocultural characteristics include: nationality, profession, education, political and religious affiliation, social status. Psychological characteristics include: intelligence, motivation, character, temperament, abilities. To the individual - everything is individually unique, due to the characteristics of human life. Different types of interpersonal relationships involve the inclusion of different levels of personality in communication. The greatest inclusion of personality, up to individual characteristics, occurs in friendly relations. According to the second criterion, friendship, marital, love relationships are characterized by the greatest selectivity. The least selectivity is typical for dating relationships. The third criterion - the difference in the functions of relations, means that the functions of relations are manifested in the difference in their content, psychological meaning for partners. Functions are understood as tasks and issues that are resolved in interpersonal relationships. In addition to the main ones, there are additional criteria. These include: the distance between partners in communication, the duration and frequency of contacts, the participation of role stereotypes in acts of communication, norms - relationships, requirements for contact conditions. The general pattern is as follows: the deeper the relationship, the shorter the distance, the more frequent the contacts, the less role-playing clichés. In friendly relations, instrumental and emotional-confessional relations can be distinguished. Emotional-confessional friendships are based on mutual sympathy, emotional attachment, and trust. Such relationships are characterized by: a decrease in self-control and looseness in communication, the removal of social masks of behavior - the ability to be oneself, the predominance of a positive evaluative attitude of partners. The opposite of friendship is a relationship of enmity. This type of relationship involves negative emotional attitudes towards a partner. relations of enmity are manifested in a lack of trust, violation of the partner's plans, obstruction in activities, deliberate underestimation of the partner's self-esteem. Through interpersonal relations, a person indirectly can be included in the system of social relations. Initially, such inclusion occurs through the immediate environment of a person, but as they grow older, the boundaries expand. Informal, emotionally rich, personally significant interpersonal relationships create the basis for the formation of personality. In the center of attention is M.I. Lisina and her employees were not only the external, behavioral picture of communication, but also the needs and motives of communication, which in fact are relationships. First of all, it is necessary to correlate the concepts of "communication" and "relationship". Communication was widely used in the context of the activity approach and was itself considered as a special kind of activity. At the same time, interpersonal relations turned out to be included in the problems of communication. At the same time, interpersonal relationships were intensively studied in line with the psychology of relationships, founded by A.L. Lazursky and V.N. Myasishchev. It is characteristic that the activity approach developed mainly within the framework of theoretical and experimental psychology, while the psychology of relations developed mainly in the field of psychological practice. In contrast to the action relation: .Has no purpose and cannot be arbitrary 2.It is not a process and, therefore, does not have a space-time sweep; it is a state rather than a process; .It does not have culturally normalized external means of implementation and, therefore, cannot be presented and assimilated in a generalized form; it is always extremely concrete individuality. At the same time, attitude is inextricably linked with action. It generates action, changes and is transformed in action, and itself is formed and arises in action. Personal meaning is both the generatrix of consciousness (which, as you know, precedes action) and the main characteristic of action, and its result. The resulting relation can be both a source of action and its product, but it may not be, since the relation does not always express itself in external activity. Consider the influence of various factors on the structure of formal and informal relations in the study group, the features of communication in the student team. Interpersonal relationships arise and function within each type of social relationship, including when studying at a medical college, and allow specific people to express themselves as a person in acts of communication and interaction. Communication is a prerequisite for the implementation of the process of education and training of students. Its role and importance are due to a number of factors. Firstly, human activity at any level involves the establishment of information links and contacts, mutual understanding and interaction between people. Secondly, no human communities, including student groups, can carry out full-fledged joint activities if contact between people is not established and mutual understanding is reached among them. Thirdly, the very psychological nature of a person makes him need the support and help of other people, in studying and using their life experience, in obtaining the necessary advice and information, which is especially relevant and necessary for first-year students. Fourthly, the successful solution of educational tasks, the activation of students for their implementation, decision-making, monitoring the execution of instructions - is carried out with the help of communication. In domestic social psychology, there are three types of interpersonal communication that are different in their orientation: imperative, manipulation and dialogue. In the conditions of a medical college, the third type of communication is clearly manifested, i.e. dialogical communication. This is an equal subject-subjective interaction, which aims at mutual knowledge, self-knowledge of communication partners. Its effectiveness is largely determined by strict adherence to the rules: psychological attitude to the state of the interlocutor; without evaluative perception of the partner's personality; perception of a partner as an equal, having his own opinion. Naturally, this type of communication requires the teacher to have extensive experience in working with people, as well as certain personal qualities; restraint, respect for the interlocutor, patience, etc. Imperative communication is an authoritarian, directive form of interaction with a communication partner. It is resorted to in order to achieve control over the behavior and thoughts of a partner, forcing him to certain actions. The peculiarity of imperative communication is that the partner is the passive side. At the same time, in the course of communication, its ultimate goal, its coercive nature, is not hidden. Manipulative communication is one of the forms of interpersonal communication, in which the impact on a partner to achieve their intentions is carried out secretly. In manipulative communication, the goal is also to achieve control over the behavior and thoughts of another person, but the partner in this case is not informed about the true goals of communication. They either hide or are replaced by others. Most often, manipulation is used in business relations and in the field of propaganda. Manipulative communication is not acceptable in a medical college, as it can lead to distrust on the part of students. The effectiveness of communication depends on individual-personal and socio-psychological conditions and prerequisites. These in psychology include: a clear understanding of the goals of communication; the presence of appropriate motives; possession of means of communication; formation of communicating skills and knowledge of communication. The central component of the psychology of the student group, the core of the socio-psychological climate in it are the relationships between students that act in two main forms. Considering the dynamics of students' relations, it is necessary to take into account the features, specific manifestations and contradictions inherent in adolescence at the stage of transition to maturity. Self-esteem is an important regulator of human behavior, relationships with others, criticality and exactingness towards oneself, attitude to one's successes and failures depend on it. Self-esteem greatly affects our perception of others.R. Nemov writes that one of the facts that definitely affect the correctness of people's perception of each other is the primacy effect. Its essence lies in the fact that the primary impression of a person, the first in order personal information received about him, can have a strong stable influence on the formation of an image. The primary impression of a person is influenced by such trifles as gestures, facial expressions, appearance, speech, and therefore, with low self-esteem, it is actually difficult to make a good impression, since low self-esteem in the first place does not allow a person to reveal himself as a person and realize his potential. When communicating with a person with low self-esteem, he feels the attitude of that person towards himself on a subconscious level (subconsciously capturing facial expressions, gestures, intonations) and an elementary law works: "Why should I make extra efforts and treat a person better than he expects?". People with low self-esteem generally do not aspire to a leadership position in a team. The most important feature of interpersonal relationships is that the emotional component plays a very significant role in informing. This is not the case in other types of relations, such as production, political. The content, the degree of expression of emotions and feelings that students can experience in relation to each other, are extremely diverse: a deep sense of respect, indifference, hatred, readiness to sacrifice everything for the sake of a friend. All emotions and feelings associated with interpersonal relationships can be divided into two large groups - a group of positive and a group of negative feelings and emotions. The first group includes feelings of bringing together and uniting, in which the subjects of relations demonstrate readiness and desire for cooperation, joint actions (feeling of sympathy and respect for another, positive emotions, manifested as a result of a high assessment of his moral, business and other qualities). The second group includes bringing together and uniting feelings, when there is no desire for cooperation, interaction becomes impossible, antipathy, contempt, and negative emotions arise. Likes and dislikes, as an important psychological element of interpersonal relations, affect the psychological climate of the group, and sometimes the entire course, especially if likes or dislikes arise between the leaders of microgroups. No less significantly the nature of interpersonal relationships is influenced by the position of the individual in the system of group relations, which is characterized, first of all, by its status and roles performed. Status is the position of the subject in interpersonal relationships. The status assigns a social function to a person through the normative empowerment of his rights and duties. Status is realized through a system of roles, that is, various functions that a person performs in accordance with his position in the group. Role behavior is relatively mobile, it can change and improve depending on the situation and personality dynamics. Therefore, the role can be considered a dynamic aspect of the status. The totality of subordinate positions of the group in the system of intra-group interpersonal preferences forms the sociometric structure of a small group. A system of emotional likes and dislikes between group members that determine the unofficial sociometric status of a group member. The sociometric status of a group member is a fairly stable value. The value is not only preserved, but also "transfers" with the student to another group. The explanation for this is very simple. Status is a group category and does not exist outside the group, the student gets used to fulfilling the roles assigned to him by a permanent status position. Certain habitual forms of response to the words and actions of others are fixed in behavior. Facial expressions, postures and other non-verbal reactions also "adjust" to a certain role. Some psychological and social factors influence the magnitude of a student's sociometric status. Firstly, appearance - facial expression, clothing, hairstyle, physique; secondly, the nature of speech - what and how he says, the content and form of communication style; thirdly, behavior - the nature of actions, their motives, manner of behavior; fourthly, activity - what and how the student does, goals, motives and methods of activity, its quality. Each group has a system of its valuable qualities for this community. A high status is given to the one who possesses them in due measure. The status of a student often depends on his position in other groups, the success of his activities. A student who has distinguished himself in sports, amateur performances, can improve his position in the group and on the course. Each status includes a number of roles. For example, a student who has the status of headman behaves differently with other students. The set of roles corresponding to a given status is called a role set. There are formal roles that are performed in accordance with the officially assigned status and informal ones ("the soul of the group", "the ringleader"). With long-term interactions, roles become stable. And in the future they greatly influence the behavior of the individual and his actions. The ratio of status and role in formal and informal groups is different. In a formal group, statuses are normatively defined and delineated. A person first occupies a status (appointed or elected to a position), and then begins to play a role. There may be cases of occupying a status without playing a role or with playing a role. In an informal group, a person performs a role, while occupying a status. From this it is obvious that the important point is the choice of the asset of the group. This should be preceded by a long and laborious work of the class teacher to analyze the existing interpersonal relationships in the group. In the future, the psychological climate in the study group, as well as the effectiveness of solving problems of various kinds, will depend on this choice. The best option is considered when the members of the active group are also leaders of microgroups. The study of microgroups in a student group, the ability to distinguish them are an integral part of the work of the class teacher, and he must understand that such groups exist within any small social community. Numerous subgroups are not very stable. Within the microgroup, their own norms and rules of group life are established, and it is the microgroup that most often initiates changes in these groups. A student who enters a new group first of all faces the choice of a microgroup that would accept him and approve of his behavior. The teacher in his work must act, taking into account the reaction of the microgroup, especially those of them who occupy a dominant position. A significant influence on the nature of interpersonal relations is exerted by the structure of social power in the group, which, being realized through the actual or potential right to influence on the part of certain members of the group, can be exercised in various forms, among them the phenomena of leadership and leadership are the most studied. §one. The problem of interpersonal relations in domestic and foreign psychology
Currently, there are a large number of psychological studies devoted to various aspects of the problem of interpersonal relationships. The developments of domestic psychologists are based on the ideas of B.G. Ananiev and V.N. Myasishchev about the nature of interpersonal interaction, in which three components can be distinguished: people's knowledge of each other, the relationship to each other in the form of an emotional response and the treatment of a person with a person in the process of communication. B.G. Ananiev considers communication as a social and individual phenomenon simultaneously manifested in information, communication and the transformation of a person's inner world, which occurs in various specific situations of communication and interaction between people. At the same time, he establishes the relationship between external conditions and interpersonal communication, and also makes an attempt to determine the optimal amount of communication that is necessary for the development of the personality as a whole. He considered the main directions of the influence of communication on the formation of the mental world of the individual and the relationship of communication with other types of professional activity of the individual (1982) . V.N. Myasishchev considered communication as a process of interaction between specific individuals, influencing each other in a certain way. In his writings, he analyzed the influence of conditions that can promote or hinder interpersonal interaction, as well as the role of communication in personality development (1973) . Man's self-consciousness is possible only through his relationships with others. This idea was most clearly expressed by S.L. Rubinstein in his latest work "Man and the World": "I" cannot be revealed as an object of direct awareness, through relations to oneself, isolated from other people. The initial condition of my existence is the existence of a personality, of subjects with consciousness, the existence of the psyche, the consciousness of other people. The approach outlined by Rubinshtein is developed in his works by K.A. Albukhanova-Slavskaya, for whom the central moment of self-determination is self-determination, one's own activity, a conscious desire to take a certain position. Bye. Albukhanova-Slavskaya, self-determination is a person's awareness of his position, which is formed within the coordinates of the system of relations. At the same time, she emphasizes that the self-determination and social activity of the individual depends on how the system of relations develops (to the collective subject, to one's place in the team and its other members). The development and experimental solution of the problems of interpersonal communication at the intersection of philosophy and general psychology was carried out by B.F. Lomov, in the field of general and social psychology G.M. Andreeva and A.V. Petrovsky, general psychology, psycholinguistics - A.A. Leontiev, social and differential psychology - A.A. Bodalev, V.A. Kan-Kalik, interpersonal perception was studied by A.A. Bodalev, G. A. Kovalev and others. In the studies of A.A. Bodalev considers interpersonal communication that occurs in the process of joint activity and is its means. It is noted that in the process of official business communication there are all components of interpersonal communication, but they acquire the character of the most important factor in the effectiveness of professional activity. L. Anert, M.I. Volovikova, L.R. Goldberg, V.V. Znakov, A.G. Shmelev, A.I. Egorova and others, who in their research drew attention to the influence of interethnic differences on the nature of interpersonal relations. The role and place of interpersonal relations in the educational space was emphasized by A.A. Rean, Ya.L. Kolominsky, D.N. Isaev, V.E. Kagan, N.E. Kolyzaeva, I.S. Kon, V.A. Losenkov, T.V. Kornilova, E.L. Grigorenko, T.S. Koshmanova, N.V. Kuzmin and others. Style features of interpersonal interaction were studied by T.E. Argentova, G.A. Berulava, L.I. Wasserman, V.A. Goryanina, E.A. Klimov, V.N. Kunitsyna, V.V. Latynov, V.S. Merlin and others. The analysis of interpersonal family relations was carried out by A.N. Volkova, V.P. Levkovich, A.E. Lichko, T.M. Mishina, A.N. Obozova, T.G. Rybakova, V.A. Smekhov, T.M. Trapeznikova, A.M. Shershevsky, E.G. Eidmiller, V.V. Yustitsky and others. The study of interpersonal relations based on the activity approach was carried out by E.V. Zalyubovskaya, N.V. Kuzmin and others. The influence of feelings and emotions on the nature of relationships between people was studied by D.I. Dzhidaryan, K.E. Izard, I. S. Kohn, V.A. Labunskaya, N.D. Levitov, K.S. Lewis, Yu.A. Mendzheritskaya, K. Muzdybaev, I.M. Paley and others. In the study of various problems of management psychology (E.E. Vendrov, F. Genov, B.F. Lomov, V.M. Shepeli and others, there is also a large role of interpersonal communication in achieving the final result of professional activity, while the psychological features of such communication , mainly determined by the goals, objectives, and structure of a particular professional activity. In foreign psychology, there have been more than a dozen major areas involved in the study of interpersonal relations. Kh. Blackock and P. Wilkin developed a behavioral approach based on the theory of dyadic interaction (1979). American psychologist E. Erickson in the book Young Luther (1958) developed his theory of the formation of personal identity. The book deals with the concept of "moratorium" - a period of apparent inactivity or withdrawal, search and reflection, which in young people precedes the accomplishments of the period of maturity. Erickson looks at Luther's "identity crisis" and the way Luther deals with internal conflicts. In Childhood and Society (1950), Erickson emphasized the importance of adolescence and other periods in a person's life. From his point of view, the life cycle is determined by the sequence of crises that are resolved and give way to new ones, thanks to which the individual realizes his possibilities. A person at any age can either be in harmony with himself, or he can be torn apart by internal contradictions. Rejecting psychological determinism, Erickson emphasized the role of a wide range of influences that determine development not only in childhood, but also in youth, maturity and old age. E. Erickson collected his essays in Understanding and Responsibility (1964) and Identity: Youth and Crisis (1968). R. Burns, one of the leading English scientists in the field of psychology, who seriously dealt with issues of self-knowledge, defines the concept “I-concept is the totality of all a person’s ideas about himself, associated with their assessment. The descriptive component of the I-concept is often called the image of I or self-esteem or self-acceptance.The self-concept, in essence, determines not just what an individual is, but also what he thinks about himself, how he looks on its active beginning and development opportunities in the future". It should be noted that any of the images of the Self has a complex, ambiguous origin, consisting of three aspects of the relationship: physical, emotional, mental and social self. G. Allport (1950), K. Stefan (1985), S. Cook (1956) studied the specific conditions of interaction that increase or decrease the effectiveness of interpersonal cooperation. Research on the influence of the minority as a source of innovation in society belongs to S. Moskovia (1976), D. Levine (1980), M. Dohme and E. Van Evermet (19800). In the works of W. Doise, G. Gerard, M. Hoyt (1974), G. Tejfel (1971), D. Turner (1975) revealed very important mechanisms of interpersonal interaction based on the formation of a sense of identity between the individual and the group. The problem of interpersonal relations in a small group was the focus of attention of R. Bales, S. Milgram, S. Moskovia, F. Chambeau, M. Shaw and other authors. Relationships between people incline researchers to analyze interpersonal relationships using the physical concepts of D. Homans (1950) and the doctrine of economic man D. Thibault and G. Kelly (1959). In order to get closer to the real picture of the world, some scientists are beginning to go the other way - the way of complicating the model of interpersonal processes by including in them an increasing number of both external and internal variables that affect people's behavior. T. Wilder, describing interpersonal relationships, introduced the expression "significant constellation": each person must have 2 * 9 people spiritually close to him (men and women0, among whom are older than him, his peers and younger than him. Rarely, or maybe never, these 18 vacancies are filled at the same time: there are empty places - some have many years, some have an older or younger friend all their lives, and sometimes none.The more vacancies in this constellation of interpersonal relationships, the more a person suffers from loneliness (1991). A significant influence on the development of the theory of interpersonal interaction was exerted by the ideas of one of the founders of humanistic psychology, K. Rogers (1993), who singled out three main conditions for dialogical communication: a) naturalness and spontaneity in the expression of feelings and sensations that arise between partners at each specific moment of interaction b) an unconditionally positive attitude towards other people and towards oneself, caring for the other and accepting him as an equal partner in communication c) empathic understanding, the ability to accurately and adequately empathize with the feelings, moods, thoughts of another in the course of contacts with him. The theory of structural balance, the theory of communicative acts, the theory of congruence, and the theory of causal attribution made a great contribution to understanding the features of interpersonal communication. According to F. Haider, one of the authors of the theory of structural balance, these judgments express ideas about a person's desire for a balanced cognitive structure. Precisely because the analytical model of the aforementioned theories includes three obligatory elements, namely, a cognizing subject, another subject, to which the first relates in a certain way, and, finally, an object about which both the perceiver and his partner have some opinion - then research situations essentially turn out to be situations of interpersonal interaction, and the task of the researcher, according to this theory, is to determine which type of relationship between the three indicated elements gives a stable balanced structure, and which one causes a situation of discomfort. According to T. Newcomb, in accordance with the theory of communicative acts, the similarity of relations will give rise to hostility between them. To bring the system into a state of balance, it is necessary to conduct negotiations, the purpose of which will be the convergence of the positions of A and B in relation to the subject of disagreement. This model has found its application in the study of the processes of small communication, namely, in determining the conditions for the effectiveness of a persuasive speech impact on the consumer of information (1972) An important contribution of cognitivism to the study of interpersonal relationships is the study of such a phenomenon as causal attribution, that is, how people interpret the causes of other people's behavior in conditions of insufficient information about these causes, and in the theory of interpersonal relations, special importance is attached to attribution regarding the behavior of a partner in interaction (E. Jones, 1990; K. Davis, 1997; D. Kelly, 1958, etc.). A serious impact on the development of the theory of interpersonal relations was exerted by the so-called "second cognitive revolution" R. Harre (19960) and K. Gergen (1986) in their studies on discursive psychology and the theory of social constructivism drew attention to the fact that language is becoming the main field of research, that is, the study of oral and written language communication occurring in normal, natural conditions.The main object of study is the participants in the conversation, "communities of interlocutors", while it is argued that speech not only serves human activity, but constructs both types of activity and interpersonal relationships. Particular attention is paid to the problem of interpersonal attractiveness, the study of which is presented in the works of E. Aronson, E. Berschild, L. Lee, K. Libertan, L. Peplow, E Walster and others. S. Duck in his works on social psychology paid considerable attention to the relationship of people. B.T. Johnson and A.H. Eagles studied the causes of manifestations of aggressiveness in relations between people.A. Feingold attached great importance to the analysis of interpersonal relationships.R. Hogan, G. Curfi, D. Hogan analyzed the problem of leadership in interpersonal relationships.X. Kim, s. Falbe, G. Yukl developed the problems of subordination in interpersonal relationships. A great contribution to understanding the features of interpersonal communication was made by: the theory of structural balance F. Haider, the theory of congruence Ch. Osgood. Attention is drawn to studies carried out in line with the theory of attachment (D. Bowlby and M. Ainsworth), according to which, as a result of the internalization of relations with the object of primary attachment (first mother, then teacher, later peer, lover, etc.), stable forms are formed , interpersonal relationships. Particularly interesting works of this kind include the fundamental work of H. Blalock and M. Wilkin on the formal description of interpersonal processes (1979). A specialist in the field of family psychotherapy V. Satir highlights the most important components of interpersonal relationships between family members (1992). § 2. Features of interpersonal relations in adolescence
Youth is a period of a person's life, placed ontogenetically between adolescence and adulthood, early youth. It is in youth that the formation of a person as a person takes place, when a young person, having gone through a difficult path of ontogenetic identification of likening to other people, appropriated from them socially significant personality traits, the ability to empathize, to an active moral attitude towards people, to himself and to nature; the ability to assimilate conventional roles, norms, rules of behavior in society, etc. . Youth - which accounts for the fifth stage in the scheme of the life cycle of E. Erickson, is considered a very important period in the psychosocial development of a person. E. Erickson's theoretical interest in this age and its characteristic problems prompted him to analyze this phase more deeply than other stages of the development of the "I". A new psychosocial parameter that appears in adolescence appears at the positive pole in the form of the self-identity of the Self, at the negative pole - in the form of a role shift. The task that young people face is to bring together all the knowledge about themselves available by this time (what kind of sons or daughters they are, students, athletes, musicians, etc.) and combine, include these numerous images of themselves in its self-identity, which represents the awareness of both the past and the future that logically follows from it. E. Erickson (1982) emphasizes the psychosocial essence of the feeling of self-identity of the "I", paying close attention not to conflicts between psychological structures, but rather to the conflict within the "I" itself - that is, to the conflict of self-identity and role shift. The main thrust is on the Self and how it is affected by society, especially peer groups. Therefore, the self-identity of "I" can be defined as follows. There are three elements in the definition of self-identity given by E. Erickson. First, young people and girls must constantly perceive themselves as "internally identical with themselves." In this case, the individual should form an image of himself, formed in the past and connected with the future. Second, significant other people must also see "identity and wholeness" in the individual. This means that young people need confidence that the inner integrity they have developed before will be accepted by other people who are significant to them. To the extent that they may be unaware of both their self-concepts and their social images, their emerging sense of self-identity may be counteracted by doubt, timidity, and apathy. Third, young people must achieve "increased confidence" that the inner and outer planes of this wholeness are consistent with each other. Their perception of themselves must be confirmed by the experience of interpersonal communication through feedback. According to E. Erickson, the basis for a favorable youth and gaining a holistic sense of self-identity of the Self is laid in childhood. However, beyond what adolescents take away from their childhood, the development of their self-identity is strongly influenced by the social groups with which they identify. For example, E. Erickson drew attention to the fact that excessive identification with popular heroes (movie stars, superathletes, rock musicians) or representatives of the counterculture (revolutionary leaders, "skinheads," dilic personalities) pulls out "burgeoning self-identity" from the existing social environment, suppressing thereby the personality and limiting the growth of its self-identity. In addition, the search for self-identity can be a more difficult process for certain groups of people. Rejecting parents as models for their identity, adolescents often seek alternative sources of peer support as they redefine their self-image. The problem of the self-identity of young people is also immeasurably complicated in connection with extremely rapid social changes that require a revision of basic values and norms. The crisis of self-identity manifests itself, at least recently, in three main areas of behavior of young people. These are: a) peer group membership b) career choice problem c) alcohol and drug use. In our culture, bonds with peer groups are very strong during this period; their influence on the values and attitudes of boys and girls is often greater than that of parents, schools, religious organizations, or any other social structure (Massoby 1990). These groups help young people maintain their self-confidence at a time when they are going through a truly physiological and ideological change. By being aware of their feelings, as well as caring for their peers, adolescents develop the ability to cope with other puzzling and sometimes frightening situations. E. Erickson noted that the uniformity of clothing, body movements and facial expressions, so often observed in youth, is a defense against intricate, indefinite self-identity (1968). When young boys and girls are not clearly aware of who they are, imitating peers in dress and behavior gives some sense of inner stability and security. In addition, their jewelry, hair style and music symbolize the distance from their parents and everything related to the adult world. According to E. Erickson, the inability to professional self-determination is a cause of serious concern for many young people. Simply put, in order to make a decision about choosing a profession, a teenager must determine what he is. Since in our society different types of professional employment correspond to different lifestyles, the choice of a career, in essence, turns into a choice of a lifestyle in general. To make the right choice, young people need to have a true understanding of themselves as well as an informed assessment of where they could best fit into working life. Ultimately, the choice of a particular career can itself give an idea of what type of person a young man or girl wants to become. Hesitation in the choice of profession among young people is often a manifestation of a more fundamental uncertainty in the sphere of their own identity. The extreme prevalence of recreational drugs of all kinds, of which alcohol is the most common, shows that there is no simple explanation for what factors lead adolescents to use or depend on alcohol and drugs. Depending on a particular person and a particular drug, the motives for starting drug use can be different: from curiosity, seeking thrills, peer pressure and the desire to earn their approval, escape from stress and rebellion against authorities, the desire for self-knowledge, self-improvement. If these motives are considered in the context of E. Erickson's theory, then their connection with the feeling of insufficient self-identity becomes clear. Young people who do not know who they are may find the experience of taking alcohol and drugs very attractive in "groping" the outer boundaries of their selves. They assume that they will be able to discover a dimension of themselves that eludes them precisely when they are in sober, "correct" world. Alcohol and drug use can temporarily alleviate the emotional stress that accompanies an identity crisis. Hesitating in the choice of profession, conflicting with parents, entering into fragile and unreliable relationships with peers, boys and girls may treat drugs as a means to help them immediately go beyond themselves. Moreover, when they are in the same company with peers who use drugs, it is not difficult to understand how they can be “pressed”, especially if their status in the group also depends on drug use. A person with an established self-identity may resist such pressure, and adolescents with a blurred self-identity may find it difficult to comply. It would be erroneous to assume that all facets of adolescent behavior can be explained from the standpoint of Erickson's theory. Nevertheless, the concept of identity crisis is an outstanding theoretical approach to understanding the many psychological problems of adolescence. In attempting to explain the main lines of psychosocial development, Erickson made a large and lasting contribution. Also, this age is characterized by special neoplasms. Age-related neoplasms are qualitative shifts in personality development at individual age stages. They manifest the features of mental processes, states, personality traits that characterize its transition to a higher degree of organization and functioning. Neoplasms of adolescence cover the cognitive, emotional, motivational, volitional spheres of the psyche. They are also manifested in the structure of the personality: in interests, needs, inclinations, in character. The central mental processes of adolescence are the development of consciousness and self-awareness. Thanks to the development of consciousness in the youthful environment and to one's own activity, the leading activity of the youth period is educational and professional activity. To the neoplasms of youth I.S. Kohn attributes the development of independent logical thinking, figurative memory, individual style of mental activity, interest in scientific research The most important new formation of this period is the development of self-education, that is, self-knowledge, and its essence is an attitude towards oneself. It includes a cognitive element (the discovery of one's "I", a conceptual element (the idea of one's individuality, qualities and essence) and an evaluative-volitional element (self-esteem, self-respect). The main condition for the normal formation of personality is the experience of its emotional well-being. It is on him that self-esteem depends - the core characteristic of a person. Emotional well-being is determined by the positive evaluation of others. If a person experiences emotional well-being in a team, then his values and norms are perceived by him as his own, an active position becomes significant and attractive. Only a benevolent attitude can awaken the activity of people. The development of reflection, that is, self-knowledge in the form of reflections on one's own experiences, sensations and thoughts, causes a critical reassessment of previously established values and the meaning of life - perhaps their change and further development. The meaning of life is the most important new formation of early youth. I.S. Kohn notes that it is during this period of life that everything becomes globally inclusive, taking into account the near and far perspectives. In adolescence, the individualization of the personality is more pronounced, they form personal relationships that are of particular importance. Friendship is the most important type of emotional attachment and interpersonal relationships of adolescence. Very often one can hear the opinion that under the influence of the increased mobility of society, the acceleration of the rhythm of life and the expansion of the circle of communication, the friendly relations of modern youth are becoming more superficial and extensive, that the ideal of exclusive and deep pair friendship, the friendship of Herzen and Ogarev, does not correspond to today's condition that friendship superseded by broad friendly companies based on the commonality of entertainment, and so on. But complaints about the impoverishment of friendship were heard at the beginning of our century, and in the era of romanticism, and in the Middle Ages, and in antiquity. The highest moral values - and friendship has always been considered such - have always been in short supply The age dynamics of friendship, as well as other interpersonal relationships, is measured primarily by the degree of its selectivity, stability and intimacy. All these qualities increase with the transition from childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to youth. The older a person is, the less influence external, situational factors have on his friendships. In youth, friendship can be maintained even at a distance, since it is already internalized. The growth of selectivity of friendly relations is accompanied by the growth of their stability. In the sphere of interpersonal relations, this is expressed in the growth of tolerance: a quarrel, which in younger adolescents would mean the end of friendship, in youth is perceived as a particularity that can be neglected in order to preserve a deeper commonality. Adolescence is the stage of making responsible decisions, one of which is the choice of a profession. The student's attitude to the profession is determined by: his professional awareness, the dominant motivation for choice, personal qualities required by a particular profession. The motives of the personality are those internal forces that are associated with the needs and encourage it to a certain activity. The issues of formation of professional motives, motives for choosing a profession are reflected in numerous works of domestic authors: I.S. Kona, E.A. Klimova, L.I. Bozhovich, V.D. Shadrikova, N.I. Kalugin. In the process of choosing a profession, not one motive is involved, but several. The variety of motives for choosing a profession can be reduced to three groups: a person chooses a profession because he likes the labor process itself; because he understands how society needs the profession; because he wants to relieve the suffering of the sick. In adolescence, the peer group retains the same important place in the lives of children as it does among adolescents. However, the nature of dependence on the team is changing, and the requirements of young men to those groups of which they are members also change. If the main thing for a teenager is to be included in collective relations, then for boys and girls it is important not only to be accepted by their peers, but also to have a certain status in the group. As for the nature of the structure of relations in youth groups, it is significantly differentiated and stable. The difference between the position of the "stars" and the rejected or isolated members of the group becomes sharper. The developed system of relations in the group is the result of its formation as a psychological community. Adolescence is not a phase of "preparation for life", but an extremely important stage of the life path, having an independent, absolute value. Whether the youthful years will be happy and creative, or whether they will remain in the memory of today's student as filled with petty conflicts, dull cramming and bitch, largely depends on the atmosphere prevailing in the college, on his own relationships with teachers and peers. Chapter II. An empirical study of interpersonal relationships
§ 1. Organization, methods and research procedure
Purpose of the study:consideration of theoretical and practical aspects of the problem of interpersonal relations in a student team Research objectives: 1.Conduct an analysis of domestic and foreign literature covering interpersonal relationships. 2.Measure the degree of cohesion in the student group, identify the status of group members on the basis of sympathy-antipathy, detect microgroups .To analyze the practical issues of interpersonal relations of students on the example of first-year students .Develop recommendations for the formation of interpersonal relationships in a student group Object of study- interpersonal relationships Subject of study- formation of interpersonal relationships Hypothesis:the level of interpersonal relations between students to improve with the help of remedial classes of interpersonal relations Research stages: .Selection of literature and search for an experimental base 2.Comparative experimental and diagnostic studies of interpersonal relationships in adolescence .Conducting classes aimed at improving interpersonal relationships .Formative experimental diagnostic studies To solve the tasks, the following research methods were used: .Comparative method 2.Ascertaining and shaping experiments .Method of analysis of primary and secondary data processing The subjects (students) of the first year of the experimental and control groups took part in the study. The methods were carried out on the same day, which made it possible to exclude the influence of temporary situational factors. These organizational measures made it possible to increase the reliability of the results obtained. In our study, we used the following methods: .Questioning "Motivation for entering college"; "The motive for choosing a medical specialty" 2.Sociometry "Method of sociometric measurements" .Drawing test "Non-existent animal" To analyze the motivation of students entering a medical college and the motive for choosing a medical specialty, the following methodology was proposed - a survey. Questionnaire No. 1 Dear student! Answer the question: "Why did you go to medical school?" Underline one answer. (Questions to the questionnaire No. 1 Appendix 1) Processing of the results is carried out according to a five-point system. Questions 1-5 b; 2-4 b; 3-1 b; 4-3 b; 5-2 b. Questionnaire №2 Dear student! Answer one question: "What prompted you to choose a medical specialty?" Underline one answer. (Questions to the questionnaire No. 2 Appendix 1) Processing of the results is carried out according to a five-point system. Questions 1-4 b; 2-5 b; 3-3 b; 4-1b; 5 - 2 b. To identify the student's position in the system of interpersonal relations, the sociometric method of J. Moreno is used. Diagnostic purpose: a) measuring the degree of cohesion-disunity in the group; b) identification of "sociometric positions" c) detection of intra-group subsystems, cohesive formations, which may be headed by informal leaders The sociometric technique is used to diagnose interpersonal and intergroup relations in order to further change them. It is obvious that any aspects of the relationship of children can be hidden from the teacher, due to the official nature of this situation or the personal characteristics of the teacher himself. The sociometric procedure is as follows. There can be no complete anonymity in this technique, otherwise sociometry will be ineffective. When sociometric criteria are selected, they are entered into a special card. In a poll with limited choices, to the right of each criterion, as many graphs are drawn on the card as we intend to allow choices in this group (Appendix 2). Each member of the group is obliged to respond to them, choosing certain members of the group depending on their greater or lesser inclination, their preference over others, sympathy, or vice versa, antipathy, trust or distrust. Members of other groups cannot be selected. As a result of the sociometric procedure and simple statistical calculations, it is possible to identify "leaders", "preferred", "rejected" in the group. It is possible to calculate the indices of group cohesion, emotional expansiveness of the group. First you need to build a sociomatrix. Election results are spread across the matrix. Analysis of the sociomatrix for each criterion gives a fairly clear picture of the relationship in the group. The main advantage of the sociomatrix is the ability to present the elections in numerical form, which in turn allows you to rank the members of the group according to the number of elections received and given, to establish the order of influences in a particular group. Based on the sociomatrix, a sociogram is built - a map of sociometric choices. Sociogram allows you to make a comparative analysis of the structure of relationships in a group in space on the "shield" plane with the help of special signs. The analysis of the sociogram begins with finding the central, most influential members, then mutual pairs and groupings. Groupings are made up of interrelated individuals seeking to choose each other.
Relationships play an important role in our life. As part of society, we interact with hundreds of people every day. And given that we spend most of our time at work, the importance of interpersonal relationships in the team for many of us is in the first place.
Most newcomers, getting a new job, experience communication difficulties for a long time. It is rare when a social group, consisting of people who have already gotten used to each other, gladly accepts a new and unknown person into their close circle. However, knowing the peculiarities of interpersonal relations in a team, this problem can be completely avoided.
Interpersonal relations in the work team
The structure of any team contains two main types - primary and secondary. If we consider this structure within the framework of one organization, then the primary group will be the group of all employees who work in the company. The secondary group has a narrower meaning. These may be colleagues working in the same department and having a common goal and focus in work. Interpersonal relationships in the primary team are usually of a general nature. In such a group of people, communication takes place at the usual business, everyday and emotional level. In the primary team, close contact and interaction of people with each other is not necessary. The secondary team, as a rule, consists of small groups of people who are more closely and emotionally connected with each other. Therefore, the analysis of interpersonal relations in a team should be carried out precisely on the example of such secondary groups.
The labor collective contains a whole system of relations, the main task of which is to achieve the common goals facing the organization. In addition to the formal group of people in the team there is always an informal group. It arises in the process of interaction between colleagues, and is not subject to the administration and management of the organization. Also, an informal group is based on mutual likes and dislikes between colleagues, and there are always leaders and outsiders in it. And since some members of the group have the ability to suppress others, conflicts in labor collectives are inevitable.
Problems of interpersonal relations in a team
Conflicts in the team begin with disagreements between members of the formal group. This phenomenon is inevitable and in some cases beneficial. For example, if there is a person in the team who is prone to disputes, then some members of the organization do not enter into a skirmish with him, but observe the course of events. This behavior allows you to learn more about your colleagues and their views on certain things. Such disagreements in some situations help the team to come together. Conflict as a social phenomenon is divided into 4 types:
Intrapersonal. The most common example of such a conflict is in a situation where conflicting demands are placed on a person regarding his work.
Interpersonal. The most common type of conflict. As an example, it manifests itself in the struggle of management or colleagues for the use of this or that equipment, or in determining a candidate for an interesting type of activity. Such conflicts arise due to the difference in characters, attitudes and values between members of the team.
Conflict between the individual and the group. Here the question is more about informal groups and the norms of behavior that exist in them. To be recognized in the team, you must strictly follow these rules. Any opinion that goes against the opinion of the group can lead to this type of conflict.
Intergroup conflict. It concerns, first of all, the disagreements between the formal and informal groups of the collective. Most often this refers to the struggle between departments of the company for financial or labor benefits.
Of the problems of interpersonal relations in the team, there are various ways out. Consider the most effective.
Evasion. It consists in avoiding conflict and preventing its development.
Smoothing. It is dictated by the conviction that the conflict will not lead to anything good, but will only negatively affect the members of the team.
Compulsion. It consists in trying to force others to accept only one point of view, which the person who is forcing considers correct. As a rule, such a technique in relation to the team is used by the leaders of the organization.
Compromise. Acceptance of the point of view of both parties in a balanced way, when both points of view that arose during the conflict are taken into account.
Solution. It consists in the readiness of the team to consider all points of view, understand the cause of the conflict and eliminate it, having come to a common opinion.
The study of the phenomenon of interpersonal relations in a team led sociologists and the founders of management to the conclusion that the relationship between colleagues in an organization can be of several types:
formal relationship. They forbid all attempts at hazing and encourage only a working attitude;
casual relationship. In such a team, there is most often a spirit of unity among colleagues whose relations are more friendly and there are common traditions and holidays;
Interpersonal relationships and team building
and lack of management. This is the case when the management is not puzzled by the corporate spirit of the company, and as a result has low labor productivity due to constant conflicts.
The study of interpersonal relations in a team should begin with the definition of the leading type of relationship between colleagues. But even if the team turns out to be friendly and cohesive, you should not immediately make friends and tell others about yourself. Later, this information can work against you. The best way to fit into a workforce is to learn its corporate culture and try to stick to it. Although at first the difficulties in getting used to new colleagues are still inevitable and you should put up with it.
ADDITIONALLY:
Interpersonal relationships are a special connection of a person with other people, determined by the fact that he is endowed with reason and feelings that affect relationships, interactions with other people. Working group (collective) - social. a group, a community of people united by a common d-tyu, unity of purpose, mutual responsibility, camaraderie and mutual assistance.
M / d members of the number of types of relations: friendly cooperation (mutual assistance based on complete trust); friendly competition (rivalry in certain areas, within the framework of positive relationships); non-interference (being at a distance from each other); rivalry (orientation to individual goals even in conditions of joint work, lack of complete mutual understanding); cooperation of antagonists (cooperation within the framework of a common d-ti and negative relations to each other).
Sots-psychologist-th climate in the team - cos-th circumstances within the framework of the cat. carried out by d-th people. The cohesion of the team - the force of attraction to it of its members, the possibility of their joint impact on an individual, encouraging him to remain active in the group and prevent him from leaving the team, depends on psychological compatibility (correspondence of the temperament of the members of the count); from social-psychic-th joint-ti (the ratio of professional and moral qualities).
Formal groups are groups created at the behest of management.
Allocate groups of leaders, working (target) groups and committees.
The group of leaders consists of the leader and his direct subordinates, who are in the zone of his control (the president and vice presidents).
Working (target) group - employees working on a single task.
Committee - a group within the organization, which is delegated authority to perform any task or set of tasks. Sometimes committees are called councils, commissions, task forces. Allocate permanent and special committees.
An informal group is a spontaneously formed group of people who interact regularly to achieve a specific goal. The reasons for joining are a sense of belonging, help, protection, communication.
The problems indicated in the title of this chapter are quite common in the practice of psychological counseling, and if the client does not directly talk about them, expressing complaints only about other personal problems, this does not mean that in fact he does not have interpersonal relationship problems. .
The opposite is also true in most cases of life: if the client is worried about the state of affairs in the field of interpersonal relations, then almost always one can also find problems of a personal plan concerning his character. In addition, the methods of practical solution of these and other problems are largely similar to each other.
Nevertheless, these problems should be considered separately, since they are almost always solved in a slightly different way than the problems of a personal plan - by regulating the relationship of a given person with other people. In contrast, each person can solve personal problems individually and not necessarily in direct contact with other people.
In addition, there is a significant difference in the ways of solving problems of personal and interpersonal plans. If personal problems are usually associated with the need for a radical change in the inner world of a person, then interpersonal problems - with the need to change mainly only the external forms of human behavior that relate to people around them.
Psychological problems related to the relationship of a person with other people can be different in nature. They may turn out to be connected with personal and business relationships of a person with people around him, relate to relationships with people close and quite distant from him, for example, with relatives and strangers.
These problems may also have a pronounced age connotation, for example, arise in the client's relationships with peers or with people of a different generation, younger or older than himself.
The problem of interpersonal relations can also concern people of different sexes: women and men, both in mono-sex (same) and hetero-sex (different in sex composition) social groups.
The multidimensional nature of these problems reflects the complexity of the real-life system of human relationships. Although we will discuss many of these problems separately here, it should, however, be remembered that all these problems are practically interconnected and in most cases of life should be addressed in a comprehensive manner.
There are, for example, some common causes of typical difficulties in the field of human relationships. Having discussed these reasons, we will no longer return to them and further confine ourselves to referring to the relevant places in the text. However, there are private, specific causes of difficulties that are characteristic of certain types of human relationships. These will be the main focus of our attention in what follows.
Problems of personal relationships of the client with people
The group of these problems primarily includes those that relate to the relationship of the client with those people who are approximately the same age as him and differ in age from each other by no more than two or three years.
Note, however, that the concepts of "peer" or "people of the same generation" in this case cover different age ranges for children and for adults. If, for example, peers of a child of preschool age, as a rule, do not differ from him by more than one year, then at school age the difference between peers can reach up to two years. Accordingly, boys and girls at the age of twenty to twenty-five can be called peers, i.e. people, the difference in years between which reaches up to five years.
In relation to adults in the age range from thirty to sixty years, the concept of "peer" covers the interval up to ten years. If we are talking about older people over sixty years old, then it is permissible to consider representatives of the same generation or, conditionally, peers of those whose age difference reaches even fifteen years.
The psychological development of a person gradually slows down with age, and the commonality of life experience, psychology and behavior of people becomes the main criterion for evaluating them as peers.
Observations show that most often those who are over fifteen and under sixty years old turn to psychological counseling about problems of relationships with other people. As for the relationship of preschool children, primary school children and the elderly with each other, they are less likely to cause concern among their participants and, in addition, have their own specific features.
In preschool and primary school age, there are usually no serious problems in the relationship of children with peers that would require increased attention and psychological counseling. In old age, people's relationships are usually limited to a narrow circle of relatives, acquaintances and friends with whom these relationships have been established for a long time and are more or less regulated. In addition, the relationship of older people with others is relatively easy to settle due to the large life experience accumulated by such people, and, therefore, their problems are also relatively easy to solve without resorting to psychological counseling.
Lack of mutual sympathy in personal human relationships
The lack of reciprocity in personal human sympathies is a fairly common phenomenon. Comparatively young people most often complain about it as a problem of vital concern to them.
When consulting on this topic, it is important to keep in mind the following circumstances:
First, far from always this problem can be practically solved only through the advice that a counseling psychologist can give to a client. The fact is that the reasons for the lack of interpersonal sympathies of people can be very difficult to eliminate factors, for example, subconscious, insufficiently realized and, therefore, poorly controlled.
Secondly, there are usually several such reasons, and by eliminating one of them, you may not achieve the desired result in eliminating other causes, since other, no less significant factors will remain in effect.
Thirdly, before proceeding with psychological counseling on the topic of the lack of mutual human sympathy, it is advisable to know a typical list of the causes of such a problem. Such knowledge will help to make a correct diagnosis and, therefore, to identify and eliminate possible causes faster.
Let us discuss the above problems in more detail, but we will do it in a slightly different order than they were posed. Let's start with finding out the possible reasons for the lack of mutual sympathy between people.
First of all, it should be noted that, according to quite natural laws, people of the opposite sex feel sympathy for each other more often than people of the same sex. Therefore, to completely solve the problem of ensuring mutual sympathy between people
of the same sex is more difficult than solving a similar problem for people of different sexes.
There are many individual psychological characteristics, due to which people, regardless of who they communicate with, may not feel much sympathy for each other. This may be, for example, a person's constant dissatisfaction with himself, in which, being dissatisfied with himself, this person is unlikely to treat other people with expressed sympathy.
In turn, those people to whom he, being in a state of chronic dissatisfaction with himself, will not show much sympathy, may perceive this as a sign of a bad personal attitude towards them. They will tend to believe that this person treats them badly, and in return they will pay him the same.
Many people have stable negative character traits, such as distrust of people, suspicion, isolation, aggressiveness. Possessing such, as a rule, insufficiently realized and poorly controlled character traits, these people will unwittingly manifest them in communication with other people and thereby complicate their personal relationships with them.
The same case can be attributed to the presence of a person's needs and interests, for various reasons, incompatible with the needs and interests of other people. Due to this circumstance, conflicts will often arise between such people and, of course, there will be no mutual sympathy.
This also includes cases when people simply do not know how to behave in a civilized manner, which causes the antipathy of the surrounding people.
It can definitely be argued that a significant proportion of the reasons for the lack of interpersonal sympathies of people lies in the person himself, in his personal psychology, and not in relationships or in life circumstances. Nevertheless, a number of reasons are associated with these circumstances. Let's consider them in more detail.
One of the causes of human antipathies quite often encountered in life is the following reason. Any person, without noticing it, involuntarily, by his ill-considered actions, can significantly affect the vital interests of other people, hurt their pride, lower their prestige, violate the rules of conduct adopted in society or a group, which are very important for the corresponding people. In any of these cases, the consequence of what is happening, most likely, will be the lack of sympathy for a person who violates the established norms of behavior on the part of the surrounding people.
The second reason is related to the following circumstances. People can accidentally find themselves in a situation that will force them to behave in relation to each other in a far from the best way. Because of this, they will involuntarily make a not entirely favorable impression on each other and therefore will not be able to count on mutual sympathy.
The third circumstance can be characterized as follows. Suppose that in your personal life someone has caused you a lot of trouble before, and as a result of this, a stable negative attitude has developed towards this person on your part. Suppose further that on your life path you accidentally met another person who outwardly resembles the one who gave you many unpleasant minutes. He will not arouse sympathy on your part for the simple reason that he outwardly looks like an unpleasant person to you.
Another probable external reason for the lack of mutual sympathy between people may be the involuntarily formed negative social attitude of one person towards the personality of another person.
It is known that any social attitude as its main components includes cognitive, emotional and behavioral components. The first of them refers to the knowledge of a person about the object of a social attitude. The second contains emotional experiences associated with this object. The third concerns the practical actions taken in relation to the relevant object. Knowledge and experiences, in turn, are formed under the influence of life experience accumulated by a person, in particular, the experience of knowing other people. For each individual person, this experience is always limited, since any person is not able to fully know the people around him.
If, due to accidental circumstances, our knowledge about people will be mostly negative, then in the future people will not arouse our sympathy for themselves. In this case, it will hardly be possible to count on reciprocal sympathy for us from the people around us.
How to carry out diagnostics in a psychological consultation aimed at finding out the reasons for the lack of sympathy for the client on the part of people significant to him?
The easiest way to try to do this is through a detailed, targeted questioning of the client himself. In order to get from him not random, but purposeful and necessary information, it is advisable to consistently ask the client the following questions:
What kind of relationships and with whom specifically, due to the lack of mutual sympathy, are you most worried about?
When, in what situations and in what way does the lack of mutual sympathy between you and the corresponding people manifest itself?
What do you think caused this?
If the client easily and quite specifically answers these questions, and what he says actually contains the answers to one or more of the following questions, then they are not asked to the client. Otherwise, you should get certain answers from the client and the following questions.
Are there any reasons related to you personally or to your behavior, due to which you cannot count on mutual sympathy from the people mentioned in your answers to the previous questions?
Is there anything in the behavior of these individuals that causes a lack of sympathy for them on your part?
Are there any life circumstances that do not depend on you or any other person and, in addition to your desire, complicate the relationship between you and other people?
What have you already done to change the situation?
What were the results of your efforts?
After carefully listening to the client's answers to all these questions, the psychologist-consultant, as a result of analyzing these answers and personally observing the client's behavior during a conversation with him, draws certain conclusions about the essence of the client's problem, outlines possible ways to solve it, which are then discussed by him together with the client.
It should be remembered that the client is unlikely to be able to immediately give accurate, complete and exhaustive answers to all questions asked of him. If this were the case, then the client himself would be able to solve his problem without seeking help in psychological counseling.
After the correct psychological diagnosis of the client's problem has been made, the consultant can directly begin to work out, together with the client, recommendations for a practical solution to his problem.
There are general tips that can be used in typical cases of psychological counseling on the topic under discussion. These tips given to the client are as follows.
Carefully analyze your own behavior, finding out if there is anything in it that in itself can cause a negative reaction from other people. If this is so, then one should change one's own behavior so that it does not arouse dislikes.
Observe the reactions of another person and at the same time experiment on your own communicative behavior, establishing and reinforcing in your own experience of communication with
people those forms of it that cause positive reactions from people.
Try to influence the circumstances of life with the expectation of changing the current life situation for the better.
Convince the client that if he fails to solve his problem, then he will need to accept the current life situation as it is, and just put up with it.
If, after analyzing the client’s communicative actions, the counseling psychologist comes to the conclusion that the client really did everything in his power to solve his problem, then its cause, most likely, lies not in the client’s personality, but in circumstances beyond his control.
Presence of dislikes in the communication of the client with people
Although antipathy is actually something opposite of sympathy, however, it is practically impossible to solve the problem of excluding antipathies from the sphere of interpersonal relations of the client only by replacing them with likes. It rarely or almost never happens that one of these opposite emotional manifestations is immediately replaced by another, i.e. almost never does antipathy immediately turn into sympathy, and vice versa.
Between these two extremes in human relationships most often lies a relatively neutral or dual (ambivalent) attitude of one person to another. Such an attitude includes both elements of sympathy and elements of antipathy in their rather contradictory combination with each other.
As extreme positions - sympathy or antipathy pass into each other in the complex dynamics of human, emotionally colored relationships, are replaced by relatively neutral, normal and outwardly calm relationships.
Consequently, the first task that a psychologist-consultant should set himself and try to solve, providing practical assistance to a client, is to save him from emotional extremes in relationships with people - in this case, from their clearly expressed antipathy.
To do this, you first need to find out the reasons for the negative attitude of one person to another. These typical reasons may include, for example:
1. The perception by one person of another person as a fairly serious competitor in some important matter for him, with
provided that this other person, pursuing his personal interests, deliberately creates obstacles to the achievement of his goals for a competitor. So, for example, a client may be a competitor for another person, on whose part he experiences pronounced antipathy towards himself, or, conversely, this person may turn out to be a strong competitor for the client.
2. The receipt by the client of reliable information that some other person humiliates his personal dignity, and he does it purposefully and quite consciously, with the expectation that he will cause as much trouble as possible to the client.
3. The presence of a general negative attitude towards people in any person with whom the client often comes into contact.
4. Possession of any qualities, personal characteristics, which, according to the client, are incompatible with the moral standards adopted by him.
5. Spreading by some person of false rumors discrediting the honor and dignity of the client.
If one or more of the above reasons really takes place, then the corresponding person objectively can and should cause antipathy on the part of the client.
However, it is far from always obvious that someone the client is complaining about is actually antipathizing towards him or is quite consciously behaving in such a way as to arouse a similar feeling on the part of the client.
In any situation, you first need to carefully understand in order to accurately determine the actual causes and consequences of what is happening. Without this, it is unlikely that it will be possible to change the situation and neutralize antipathies, let alone replace them with sympathies.
In this regard, it makes sense to identify and discuss diagnostic methods, as well as practical ways to eliminate antipathies based on misunderstandings or misunderstandings that often arise in the field of human relationships.
In practice, it is possible to establish what are the real reasons for the antipathies between the client and other people by asking the client the following questions:
1. Is there any case in which a person who clearly dislikes you appears as your potential competitor?
2. How does he usually react to your success in this matter?
3. Do you know anything about a person to whom you yourself treat with clearly expressed antipathy, anything that definitely indicates a humiliation by him of your human dignity or the dignity of people close to you, significant to you?
4. Does this disliked person have a tendency to deliberately do something that gives you trouble?
5. Does this person take pleasure in causing you trouble?
6. Does this person have a general negative attitude towards people that characterizes him as a person?
7. Does this person have such character traits that are personally unpleasant for you?
8. Is there anything in the behavior, actions of this person that makes you dislike?
9. Does this person spread rumors that humiliate you or defame the dignity of others who are important to you?
Answering each of the above questions, the client must necessarily argue his answer, citing specific evidence confirming its correctness, real facts from life.
In the event that the client gives a definite answer to a particular question, but is not able to argue it, the counseling psychologist may have reasonable doubts about the correctness of the client's answers.
In the event that the client confirms his answer with convincing arguments and facts, this answer can be trusted. The lack of conviction and uncertainty of the client when he gives arguments in support of the correctness of his answer most likely indicates that the reasons for his antipathies are subjective in nature.
If it turns out that the cause of antipathy is that one person - the client or his partner - perceives the other as a competitor in some important matter, the following can be recommended to eliminate antipathy:
First, to find out whether the behavior of a potential competitor really prevents the client from achieving his important goals (it may well be that such an opinion is erroneous).
Secondly, the client needs to think about (and in this he can be helped by a counseling psychologist) whether it is possible to do so in order to still achieve his goal without opposition from a competitor.
Thirdly, it is desirable to determine whether the competitor's own responses to the behavior of the client are justified, and whether the client has the moral right to behave exactly as he actually behaves in communication with his potential competitor.
Finally, fourthly, it is desirable to determine whether it is not possible to simply agree with a competitor on joint, concerted actions - such that will reduce competition to a minimum and allow each of the participants to achieve their goals without interference from the other person and with minimal losses.
The search for answers to all these questions in itself can significantly clarify the situation, significantly reduce or completely eliminate the manifestation of antipathy between the relevant people.
If it turns out that the reason for antipathy is that one person degrades the dignity of another and does it deliberately, enjoying such actions, the client should be asked to additionally answer the following questions:
Why does the person who humiliates the dignity of another do it and behave in this way?
What should be done to change his behavior?
The answer to the first of these questions allows you to psychologically better understand the behavior of the corresponding person, and the answer to the second question allows you to identify and think over specific actions aimed at really changing the behavior of the corresponding person for the better.
The situation is somewhat more complicated when the person who causes antipathy is assigned a general negative attitude towards people, relatively independent of their individual characteristics. This attitude, moreover, quite often can act as a result of the action of the psychological mechanism of projection, which manifests itself in the unreasonable attribution to another person of that quality of personality - usually negative - that this person actually possesses.
In this case, it is quite difficult to convince the client that he is projecting his shortcoming onto the personality of another person, since here, among other things, the mechanism of the so-called psychological defense also works. But still, you can try to do this, I act not directly, but indirectly, by offering, for example, the client to consistently answer the following series of questions:
Do you think anyone else, except for the person you are complaining about and whom you dislike, exhibits the same character traits to which you react emotionally negatively?
Has it happened in your personal life that you mistakenly thought someone was hostile towards you, and then it turned out that this was not so?
What do you think, does it happen that some circumstances of life, in addition to the will of the people themselves, who accidentally find themselves in the corresponding life circumstances, force them to behave differently than they would like?
Have there been cases in your life when you were personally accused of what you yourself are now accusing another person of, i.e. in provoking antipathy?
By thinking about these questions and looking for answers to them, the client will eventually be able to understand and admit that he is not quite right in accusing the other person of generating an emotionally negative relationship, in this case, antipathy.
If it turns out that the reason for antipathy lies in the fact that its object has personality traits or forms of behavior that are incompatible with the moral norms accepted among people, then in this case the counseling psychologist is recommended to act as follows.
First, it is advisable to ask the client about whether the person whose behavior he is complaining about always and everywhere behaves in this way and shows the corresponding negative personal qualities. Secondly, it is necessary to find out whether it is possible to find reasons that justify the behavior of this person in certain life situations. Thirdly, it is important to ask the client a question of the following nature: do all the surrounding people perceive the person in question the way the client perceives him? Finally, fourthly, you need to find out from the client whether he could personally change his behavior and influence the behavior of another person if he turned out to be his close friend.
In the event that antipathy towards a person is due to the fact that, according to the client, his competitor is engaged in the dissemination of false rumors and gossip that discredits the human dignity of the client, it is recommended that the counseling psychologist find out first of all whether these rumors and gossip contain at least some that's a fraction of the truth. Then you need to find out whether the person who spreads these rumors has the right to openly say what he thinks and, without the consent of other people, publicly express his opinion.
After that, the client can be asked the following question: “Could you yourself openly say something unpleasant to another person about any third person if you considered yourself right and were convinced that you were telling the truth?” It is also helpful to ask the client why they think some people are spreading rumours, and if there is any justification for doing so.
Finally, the following question could also play a positive role in understanding the reasons for the behavior of another person and reducing antipathy towards him: “If some other person very close to you were involved in spreading rumors, how would you react to his behavior?”
whether it is worth continuing to feel such a pronounced antipathy towards this person.
Client's inability to be himself
If the client complains that he is dissatisfied with himself, that he is not quite satisfied with his own behavior, and that, while deciding how to behave in a particular life situation, he nevertheless behaves quite differently. to another, it means that the client is not quite capable of being himself.
In this case, in order to help the client, the counseling psychologist must, firstly, clarify where, when and under what circumstances the client becomes dissatisfied with himself. Secondly, to determine what specifically manifests the unnaturalness of his behavior. Thirdly, try to help the client figure out for himself what he really is, what is his natural behavior. Fourth, help the client identify and develop new forms of more natural behavior that allow him to be himself.
Let us consider sequentially and in more detail all these steps in psychological counseling. At the psychodiagnostic stage of consulting work, it is recommended to ask the client the following particular questions:
Where, when and under what circumstances do you most often and most acutely feel (experience) your inability to be yourself?
What actions and deeds usually show your inability to be yourself?
What specifically prevents you from being yourself in relevant life situations?
After listening carefully to the client's answers to all these questions, the counselor psychologist must determine and then agree with the client himself what the client should change in himself, in his own behavior.
In order to establish what is natural and unnatural for the client, additional work with him is required. Part of this work is to find out where, when and under what circumstances, after committing what acts and actions the client feels best and is most often satisfied with himself. These are the moments in his life when he behaves quite naturally.
The task of the joint work of the psychologist-consultant with the client at this stage of counseling is to determine the forms of the client's natural behavior. This is necessary in order to
in order to subsequently fix them in the individual life experience of the client, to make these forms of behavior habitual for him.
The next step in working with a client is to conduct a psychodiagnosis of the client. The purpose of psychodiagnostics is to accurately determine those personal psychological qualities of the client that are naturally inherent in him and about the existence of which he knows very little. This, in particular, is about the client's awareness of those of his individual characteristics, which he needs to know in order to be himself and behave naturally.
The result of this part of the work of the psychologist-consultant with the client should be an adequate image of the I-client, agreed with the psychologist-consultant. Based on this image, the consultant and the client will then have to establish what it means for the client to be himself, to behave in a natural way, taking into account the characteristics of his self-image.
The final stage of work on solving the problem under discussion should consist in the fact that the counselor psychologist, together with the client, outlines and implements a plan of specific actions to develop and consolidate in the client’s experience new, more natural forms of behavior and response to various life situations.
At the very end of the joint work, the psychologist-consultant and the client agree on how they will further contact and discuss the current results of the implementation of the developed practical recommendations.
Impossibility of effective business interaction of the client with people
To solve the problems of business interaction with people, business people and heads of institutions usually turn to psychological counseling. Corresponding problems most often arise in them at the initial stages of their business life, especially when they have to independently organize the work of other people, manage them and their business and personal relationships.
Here we will focus on the features of conducting psychological counseling in the field of business relations regarding the psychological compatibility of people and their interaction at work, as well as the ability to be a good leader - organizer of business.
The crux of the problem, which we will discuss first, is this: people entering into business contacts with each other often find that they cannot successfully establish them. This, for example, is manifested in the fact that they are not able to distribute duties among themselves without conflict in such a way that
to suit them completely, they cannot agree on coordinated joint actions related to certain issues, they expect from each other that which does not fully correspond to their capabilities, they claim greater rights, but they themselves do not want to take on additional responsibilities.
Let us discuss the typical causes of this state of affairs, and then the possible ways of solving the relevant issues in the practice of psychological counseling.
There can be quite a few possible reasons for the emergence of intractable problems in the field of business relationships. This is a person’s lack of sufficient personal experience of participating in the relevant case, and the presence of negative character traits that prevent normal business relationships with people, and a lack of abilities, and large individual differences that give rise to psychological incompatibility, and special circumstances that develop during joint work. .
Therefore, before proceeding with the development of practical recommendations to the client regarding the solution of the problem of business relations, it is necessary to find out exactly the essence of the problem itself and its causes. At the same time, from the very beginning of psychological counseling, one must be able to clearly distinguish between what the client himself tells about the causes of his problem, and what actually exists. As a rule, the client's own version of the essence of his business problem does not always fully coincide with reality, i.e. with the results of accurate psychodiagnostics.
The client's lack of the necessary experience in organizing a case is a problem that can be overcome relatively easily, as such experience is acquired. However, the lack of personal experience in business relationships can hardly be completely replaced even by the most reasonable psychological recommendations. This is due to the fact that in the course of accumulating life experience a person acquires knowledge, skills and abilities that cannot be mastered immediately and in finished form. A person is also unable to control the process of acquiring the relevant knowledge, skills and abilities for the reason that neither he nor anyone else knows exactly how these knowledge, skills and abilities are actually formed.
As for the presence of negative character traits that prevent the establishment of normal business relations with people, this problem is much more difficult than with the acquisition of the necessary life experience. It is very difficult to change character traits at the age at which a person usually enters an active business life, since most of these character traits are formed and consolidated in early childhood. However, external
phenomena and forms of behavior that are functionally related to character traits can be changed, although this is not always easy to do.
In order for this to become really possible, the client must first of all realize what he needs to change in himself, in his character. It is quite difficult to convince a client of this with just words alone. But, even if this can be done, he will not immediately have a strong desire to change himself.
This, in particular, is due to the fact that the client, as a rule, does not see his shortcomings as well as other people see them. He knows about them only from the words of the people around him with whom he has to enter into communication. Until his personal desire to change himself is supported by the corresponding reactions of those around him, it will hardly be possible to count on success.
In this case, it is desirable to let the client understand how he actually looks from the outside, i. give him the opportunity to see himself in real business relationships with people. The video recording technique, viewing and commenting on the video recordings made by the psychologist-consultant (the video recording may include a series of fragments from the client's business contacts with different people) can bring significant benefits in this. It is important to choose for comparison for video recordings such moments from the client's business life in which he manifests himself from the best and from the worst side.
For a practical change in the nature of the client, you can use a technique based on the so-called anonymous systematic receipt of feedback (communication). In this case, it is understood as a regular, purposeful collection by a person from a variety of anonymous sources of information about how people around them actually perceive and evaluate the business character traits of a client. Very useful and, perhaps, the most effective in this case may be a recommendation to the client to undergo a special training in business communication under the guidance of an experienced practical psychologist.
With large individual differences that give rise to the psychological incompatibility of people, the problem of ensuring normal business interaction between them is solved as follows: it turns out how these people differ from each other and what prevents them from interacting normally with each other. All of this should be realized by each of the participants in business communication. The very fact of realizing the existing individual differences in most cases is enough for each of the participants to take them into account and adapt to other participants.
If this does not help, then the counselor psychologist will have to suggest to the client how it is most reasonable to behave in business communication with those people who differ significantly from him in psychology and behavior. At the same time, it is desirable to offer the client not one, but several different options for socially adaptive behavior at once and try each of them during a psychological consultation. Then the client will have to apply all these behaviors in life and determine the best option for himself. This usually becomes a way of behavior that allows people to successfully solve business problems and at the same time maintain good relationships with business partners.
At the final stage of psychological counseling, the client himself shares his impressions with the psychologist-consultant and then, on the advice of the psychologist-consultant, selects and consolidates in his life experience the most appropriate forms of business interpersonal behavior.
Client's inability to lead
There are two different theoretical explanations for a person's ability or inability to be a leader for other people: charismatic and situational.
The charismatic explanation of leadership is based on the belief that not every person can become a leader among people, but only one who has special, given to him by nature, psychological qualities of a leader. The essence of the second explanation - situational - is the idea that in order to become a leader, it is not necessary to have any special qualities. To do this, it is quite enough to be in a suitable life situation, in an environment favorable for the manifestation of the usual positive qualities that a given person has. These should be personality traits that other people need.
Both points of view are partly correct, since both special qualities and a life situation suitable for their manifestation are important for a leader. But taken separately, each of these points of view is limited in both theoretical and practical terms. We will proceed from the recognition of this, offering various solutions to the problem of leadership.
First of all, let's find out who and when turns to psychological counseling about this. The problem of inability to be a leader is not relevant for a person until he actually has to play the role of a leader. Before adolescence, the problem of leadership usually does not arise, and the younger student rarely worries about this.
Older people can turn to psychological counseling on this issue when they actually already act as leaders-organizers of a business or leaders of a certain team. The reason for their appeal to psychological counseling is usually the difficulties that arise in the process of managing people. In any of these cases, a person, having a pronounced need to be a leader, at the same time feels his inability to successfully cope with this role. It seems to him that not everything works out for him, but he is not able to say exactly and definitely why this is happening.
Among all the possible cases of contacting psychological counseling about leadership (management), the following can be distinguished as typical:
Case 1. A person has never had to, but will have to act as a leader. He, however, fears that not everything will work out for him as it should, and at the same time he does not know exactly how to behave in this case. He turns to psychological counseling in order to get practical advice from a psychologist-consultant on this matter.
Case 2. A person has already been in the role of a leader once, but it was not a completely successful life experience for him. At this point in time, a person is in a state of confusion. He does not know why he does not succeed, and has a poor idea of what to do next, how to correct the current state of affairs.
Case 3. A person already has a fairly large experience in playing the role of a leader in various teams. When he was just starting to play the role of leader, it seemed to him that everything would be fine. And, indeed, at first everything went fine. However, over time, he began to understand that not everything was going as smoothly as he would like and as it seemed before. He tried to independently analyze his experience and mistakes. But not all questions were answered satisfactorily. In this regard, he turned to psychological counseling.
Case 4. A person already has a large and generally quite successful leadership experience. In many related problems, he figured out quite independently. However, he still had some questions regarding improving the effectiveness of leadership, and to solve them, he turned to a counseling psychologist. He would like to discuss them with a consultant, counting on his professional help.
Let's consider how a consultant psychologist should behave, what recommendations he can give to a client in each of these cases separately.
In the first case, as a result of a deeper study of the problem faced by the client, it is often found that his fears that he is not doing well with leadership are not entirely justified. The real inclusion of the client in the process of playing the role of a leader, his first experience of leadership, convinces both him and the counseling psychologist that he has many of the personal qualities and behaviors necessary for a good leader. Therefore, the task of the consultant in this case is to convince, with facts in the hands of the client, that he already has much of what a good leader needs.
But this is not enough. It is also important to tell the client how to avoid possible mistakes related to leadership in the future and develop personal qualities, master the forms of behavior that he currently lacks.
In this regard, let us note the typical mistakes that a novice leader can make and about which a counseling psychologist should warn him in advance.
The first such mistake is that a novice leader either takes on too many duties that are unusual for him in a leadership role, or, on the contrary, transfers everything to others, including his direct leadership duties. He either begins to do what subordinates should do, or only commands, completely withdrawing from business, only demanding, but not really helping his subordinates.
In fact, the role of a good leader is to transfer the maximum of what subordinates can do without him, leaving behind only those functions that they themselves are not able to cope with. In addition, a good leader in any business and at any time should be ready to help his subordinates, including in the work they are directly involved in. And for this, he must be competent in almost all issues that may arise in the work of his subordinates.
The second typical mistake that novice leaders often make is that they either establish too close, almost familiar, relations with their subordinates, or, on the contrary, completely distance themselves from them, establishing a large psychological distance between them and themselves, an impenetrable psychological barrier. , without entering into any other relations with them, except for business.
Neither one nor the other extremes in the relationship between the leader and subordinates are reasonable and justified. On the one hand, the leader really should not get so close to his subordinates that he will not be able to influence them with the measures of power given to him. On the other hand, a good leader should not be so psychologically distant from the people he leads that a psychological barrier of misunderstanding and alienation arises between him and his subordinates.
The third typical mistake made by novice leaders is such a performance of their role, in which a person, having become a leader, ceases to be himself, as it were, begins to behave unnaturally, in an uncharacteristic manner. A good leader is one who, having become a leader, remains himself and does not change his psychology, his behavior, or his attitude towards people.
In the second of the cases discussed, the feeling of failure of the first experience of playing the role of leader is most often only partially justified. Initially worrying about his possible failure in the future, anticipating it in emotionally negative experiences and corresponding expectations, a person painfully and sharply perceives everything that happens to him and around him, noticing and clearly exaggerating his minor mistakes. In his perception of what is happening, he mainly singles out what he does not succeed in, and does not pay due attention to what he actually does well.
Therefore, the first task of a counseling psychologist in this case is to calm the client, and then, together with him, calmly figure out what is happening or has already happened. This task is considered solved when the client admits not only his mistakes, but also obvious successes.
In the third of the cases discussed, the real problem that the client has is that he unconsciously makes such mistakes, the meaning of which he himself is not sufficiently aware of. In this regard, the client needs help from a counseling psychologist, and this help is necessary, first of all, for the correct diagnosis of the problem that has arisen. To do this, it is desirable to obtain the necessary information from the client by asking him, for example, the following series of questions:
What specifically worries you about your work when you act as a manager (leader)?
When, under what conditions and under what circumstances do you most often experience the problems you just talked about?
What do you think are the causes of these problems?
How did you try to practically solve your problems?
What were the results of your attempts to solve these problems yourself?
How do you yourself explain your past failures in solving these problems?
Having received detailed answers from the client to all these questions (their content, meaning and number are determined by the consultant and may change during his conversation with the client), the consultant psychologist, together with the client, outlines ways to eliminate the mistakes made earlier, develops a plan and program for the implementation of the relevant recommendations.
In the fourth of the cases discussed, the role of the psychologist-consultant is mostly passive and comes down to a clear and timely response to the actions of the client. The client himself here offers possible solutions to his problem, and the psychologist-consultant only expresses an opinion about what the client offers. The conversation between the consultant and the client is conducted on an equal footing, and on his own behalf, the psychologist-consultant offers something to the client only if the client asks him about it.
Client's inability to obey others
In life, the inability of a person to obey other people is very often combined with the inability to lead people. Conversely, this deficiency is quite rare in people who are themselves good leaders. This is due to the fact that, having become a good leader, a person begins to better understand how a subordinate and a performer should behave, begins to appreciate the ability to obey in other people. He naturally transfers the corresponding value orientations to himself.
In this regard, the psychologist-consultant, faced with the case of the client's inability to obey other people, should first of all turn his attention to the client's ability to be a leader. And if the client reveals shortcomings in this regard, then it will be necessary to simultaneously teach him to be a good leader and subordinate.
What exactly can a person show inability to obey others? Firstly, in the fact that he voluntarily or involuntarily resists the fact that someone led him at all. Secondly, that this person always strives to do everything in his own way, even if he does it worse than he could if he followed the advice of other people. Thirdly, that a person almost always questions what others say
people. Fourthly, in any business where there is freedom of choice, he tries to take on the role of a leader, lead people, guide them, teach, command.
If, while working with a client, a consultant psychologist finds one or more of the above signs in him, then this indicates that this person may have problems associated with the inability to obey other people.
In order to further successfully work on solving these problems, the counseling psychologist needs to clarify why the client behaves the way he feels when other people try to lead him, how he justifies his rebellious and intractable behavior.
Sometimes it is enough to ask the client the following series of questions:
How often do other people try to lead you?
Are they trying to manipulate you?
In what situations does this happen most often?
What exactly are these people doing to influence you?
What feelings do you have?
How do you resist psychological pressure?
What do you really succeed or fail to do in this regard?
Can you explain why you don't like it when other people try to lead you?
If the client's inability to obey other people is manifested in the fact that he simply resists psychological pressure on him, then the client should be asked to think about how reasonable such behavior really is, whether it will lead to adverse consequences primarily for himself.
As proof of the unreasonableness of such a negativist attitude, the following arguments can be cited:
First, all people in life, as soon as they are forced to live in a community, must be able not only to lead, but also to obey. Without this, normal human life is impossible.
Secondly, there are certain benefits not only in leading people, but also in playing the role of a subordinate. The last of the roles is associated with less responsibility for what is happening and much less labor intensity.
Thirdly, the refusal to submit to others opposes, isolates this person, deprives him of support, limits the possibilities of his growth and development in psychological terms.
If a person's inability to obey others is manifested in the fact that he too often and unreasonably questions, disputes the opinions of other people, then the most effective way to rid him of this shortcoming is as follows.
It is desirable to offer the client some time to be a leader, and in relation to him, as a leader, begin to behave as he usually behaves in relation to other leaders. A similar psychological experiment conducted with a client in a consultation, where the role of a recalcitrant subordinate is played by a psychologist-consultant, usually convinces the client of the wrongness of his behavior.
In other cases, you can turn to other methods of psycho-correction of this deficiency. Such methods include, for example, the following:
Instead of behavior that manifests itself in criticism and resistance to other people, propose and demonstrate a different form of behavior aimed at agreement and compromise, while explaining why the newly proposed form of behavior is better than the previous one.
Invite the client to listen to the opinion of other people whom he personally trusts on the same occasion.
Invite the client to listen to the objections of those people whose opinion he himself questions and whose influence he actively resists.
Invite the client to identify and objectively evaluate both the positive and negative consequences of what he himself proposes and what other people advise him to do.
In the event that the client, without listening to the opinions of other people, almost always strives to do everything in his own way, it is necessary to work with the client in a psychological consultation differently. First, the client should be asked to reasonably explain why he rejects other people's offers so often. Secondly, it is desirable that the client prove that what he offers himself is better than what other people offer. At the same time, the client must demonstrate the ability to see the rational grain in what is offered by other people. If he only criticizes their proposals, then this means that he is clearly biased in evaluating the opinions of other people.
If it turns out that in all situations the client prefers to take on the role of leader and avoids obeying others, then, first of all, it will be desirable to carefully understand why he does this. It is likely that the essence of the matter lies in its convoluted nature or in excessively inflated self-esteem. In this case, it will be necessary to deal with the correction of the client's personality.
It may well turn out that the client simply does not have the necessary special skills and abilities necessary for submission
Cheat sheet on social psychology Cheldyshova Nadezhda Borisovna
36. Psychology of interpersonal relationships
Interpersonal relationships - it is a set of connections that develop between people in the form of feelings, judgments and appeals to each other.
Interpersonal relationships include:
1) people's perception and understanding of each other;
2) interpersonal attractiveness (attraction and liking);
3) interaction and behavior (in particular, role-playing).
Components of interpersonal relationships:
1) cognitive component - includes all cognitive mental processes: sensations, perception, representation, memory, thinking, imagination. Thanks to this component, there is a knowledge of the individual psychological characteristics of partners in joint activities and mutual understanding between people. The characteristics of mutual understanding are:
a) adequacy - the accuracy of the mental reflection of the perceived personality;
b) identification - identification by an individual of his personality with the personality of another individual;
2) the emotional component includes positive or negative experiences that a person has in interpersonal communication with other people:
a) likes or dislikes;
b) satisfaction with oneself, partner, work, etc.;
c) empathy - an emotional response to the experiences of another person, which can manifest itself in the form of empathy (experiencing those feelings experienced by another), sympathy (personal attitude to the experiences of another) and complicity (empathy accompanied by assistance);
3) behavioral component- includes facial expressions, gestures, pantomime, speech and actions that express the relationship of a given person to other people, to the group as a whole. He plays a leading role in regulating relationships.
The effectiveness of interpersonal relationships is assessed by the state of satisfaction-dissatisfaction of the group and its members.
Types of interpersonal relationships:
1) industrial relations - are formed between employees of organizations in solving industrial, educational, economic, domestic, and other problems and imply fixed rules for the behavior of employees in relation to each other. They are divided into relationships:
a) vertically - between managers and subordinates;
b) horizontally - relations between employees who have the same status;
c) diagonally - the relationship between the leaders of one production unit with ordinary employees of another;
2) domestic relationships- are formed outside of work activities on vacation and at home;
3) formal (official) relations - normatively stipulated relationships enshrined in official documents;
4) informal (informal) relationships- relationships that really develop in relationships between people and are manifested in preferences, likes or dislikes, mutual assessments, authority, etc.
The nature of interpersonal relationships is influenced by such personal characteristics as gender, nationality, age, temperament, health status, profession, experience in communicating with people, self-esteem, need for communication, etc.
Stages of development of interpersonal relationships:
1) the stage of acquaintance - the first stage - the emergence of mutual contact, mutual perception and evaluation of each other by people, which largely determines the nature of the relationship between them;
2) the stage of friendly relations - the emergence of interpersonal relationships, the formation of an internal relationship of people to each other on the rational (realization by interacting people of the advantages and disadvantages of each other) and emotional levels (the emergence of appropriate experiences, emotional response, etc.);
3) companionship - rapprochement of views and support to each other, characterized by trust.
From the book Existential Psychotherapy by Yalom Irvin From the book How to Treat Yourself and People, or Practical Psychology for Every Day author Kozlov Nikolay IvanovichA GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS An individual usually tries to alleviate his fear of isolation through interpersonal contacts: he needs the presence of others to assert his existence; seeks to be absorbed by others who are in his
From the book Sex in the family and at work author Litvak Mikhail EfimovichPart 3. YOU YES I, YES WE WITH YOU (psychology of interpersonal
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From the book Psychological Foundations of Pedagogical Practice: a study guide author Korneva Ludmila Valentinovna26. Methods for assessing interpersonal relationships in a small group There are three main areas in the study of small groups: 1) sociometric; 2) sociological; 3) the school of "group dynamics". American psychologist D. Moreno, considering the totality of emotional
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From the book Psychology of Ethnic Communication author Reznikov Evgeny NikolaevichChapter 12 Implementation of interpersonal and social relationships in communication The greatest luxury is human communication. Antoine de Saint-Exupery The whole set of relations is realized in communication, that is, in the act of communication, and the word "communication" in English
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From the book Cheat Sheet on Social Psychology author Cheldyshova Nadezhda Borisovna4.2. The dynamics of interpersonal relations in various ethnic groups In the United States, a social “penetration theory” based on the theory of exchange has become widespread, including four stages in the development of interpersonal relations (orientation, trial affective exchange,
From the book Cheat Sheet on General Psychology author Rezepov Ildar ShamilevichOn Relationship (Psychology of interpersonal relations) Bertine, Eleanor. Close Relationships: Family, Friendship, Marriage. Toronto: Inner City Books, 1992. Sanford, John. The Invisible Partners: How the Male and Female in Each of Us Affects Our Relationships. New York: Paulist Press, 1980. Sharp, Daryl. Getting to Know You: The Inside Out of Relationship. Toronto: Inner City Books,
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From the author's bookInstability of interpersonal relationships Relationships are characterized by an alternation of extremes - from idealization to complete depreciation. In such situations, such people are extremely quickly disappointed in their chosen ones, who, as it seems to them, do not justify them.
From the author's bookA PRELIMINARY FORMULATION OF THE GENERAL LAW OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS Last summer, I pondered a theoretical problem that has long tormented me: is it possible to formulate in one hypothesis all the elements of relationships that contribute or, conversely, do not
In fact, in all group activities, participants act simultaneously in two qualities: as performers of conventional roles and as unique human personalities. When conventional roles are played, people act as units of the social structure. There is agreement on the contribution that each role player must make, and each participant's behavior is constrained by culturally dictated expectations. However, being included in such enterprises, people remain unique living beings. The reactions of each of them turn out to be dependent on certain qualities of those with whom they happen to come into contact. Therefore, the nature of mutual attraction or repulsion is different in each case. Initial reactions can range from love at first sight to sudden hatred for the other person. A kind of evaluation is made, because it is completely implausible that two or more people can interact while remaining indifferent to each other. If contact is maintained, participants can become friends or rivals, dependent or independent of each other, they can love, hate or resent one another. The way each person reacts to the people associated with him forms a second system of rights and obligations. The pattern of interpersonal relationships that develop between people engaged in collaborative action creates another matrix that imposes further restrictions on what each person can or cannot do.
Even in the most fleeting interactions, there seems to be some kind of interpersonal reaction. When a man and a woman meet, there is often a mutual appreciation in erotic terms. However, educated people in such cases usually do not reveal their inner experiences. Remarks about a person of the opposite sex are more often left to one of their closest friends. In most contacts that occur, such reactions are of little importance and are soon forgotten.
When people continue to communicate with each other, more stable orientations emerge. Although the expression "interpersonal relations" is used in different ways in psychiatry and in social psychology, here it will be used to refer to the mutual orientations that develop and crystallize in individuals in long-term contact. The nature of these relationships in each case will depend on the personality traits of the individuals involved in the interaction.
Since a person expects special attention from his closest friends and is not inclined to expect good treatment from those whom he does not like, each party in the system of interpersonal relations is bound by a number of special rights and obligations. Everyone plays a role, but such interpersonal roles should not be confused with conventional roles. Although both types of roles can be defined on the basis of group expectations, there are important differences between them. Conventional roles are standardized and impersonal; rights and obligations remain the same regardless of who fills these roles. But the rights and obligations that are established in interpersonal roles depend entirely on the individual characteristics of the participants, their feelings and preferences. Unlike conventional roles, most interpersonal roles are not specifically trained. Everyone develops his own type of treatment with a partner, adapting to the requirements that the particular individuals with whom he comes into contact make to him.
Although no two systems of interpersonal relationships are exactly the same, there are recurring situations, and similar personalities respond in the same way to the same kind of treatment. Therefore, it is not surprising that typical patterns of interpersonal relationships are observed and that typical interpersonal roles can be named and defined. Thus, collaborative situations may include colleague, partner, supplier, client, admirer, love object, and so on. Interpersonal roles that arise when people compete over similar interests may include rival, enemy, conspirator, and ally. If a person tries to mediate between those who disagree, he becomes an arbiter. Another recurring situation can be described as the power of one side over the other. If such dependency is maintained by agreement, legitimate authority is established and those in a dominant position assume the role of a figure in authority. But the actual ability to direct the behavior of others is not always in the hands of those whose conventional role is invested with power. A child, for example, who knows how to take advantage of his anxious parents' momentary outburst can control their behavior. Among the interpersonal roles that arise from the uneven distribution of power are the leader, hero, follower, puppet, and patron. Although patterns for the performance of these roles are developed in each group, the latter are analytically different from conventional roles because in this case each person assumes a certain role due to his personal qualities.
In every organized group, there is a common understanding of how members are supposed to feel about each other. In the family, for example, the relationship between mother and sons is conventionally defined. However, within this cultural framework, there are many options for actual relationships. It is not unusual for mothers to hate or envy their children. Some sons adore their mothers, but others openly disobey and constantly contradict them. The three sons of the same mother may be oriented toward her differently, and despite her best efforts to be impartial, she may find herself constantly preferring one over the other. The feelings that are supposed to arise often do, but in many cases, no matter how hard people try, they cannot feel the way they are supposed to. Outwardly they conform to group norms, but inwardly everyone knows that the appearance maintained is only a façade.
The independence of interpersonal roles from conventional ones is further manifested in the fact that similar interpersonal relationships can be found in very different conventional states. The conventional roles appropriate for the classroom and for the workplace are quite different, but there are many similarities in the connections that are made between the teacher and the students and the head of the firm with the employees. The manager can suppress any individuality, considering the activities of employees as an extension of his own efforts. In the same way, a teacher can control students with an “iron hand”. In some offices there is a cheerful familiarity, and even the office boy calls his master by name. Likewise, some classrooms are characterized by an air of joviality, and the teacher, who looks like an understanding friend, is treated without conventional deference. The head of the firm may be in love with his stenographer, and the accountant, who is also in love with her, may resent like a rival. Similarly, a teacher may have a favorite student whom she favors, and then his close friends will compete with her for his affection. Despite differences in cultures, in all societies some individuals dominate over others due to the characteristics of their personalities, although the traits that inspire awe can be very different. Everywhere men and women fall in love with each other, everywhere heroes are honored, and everywhere the struggle of relatives for the love of elders is restrained and breaks through. The moral codes that require proper feelings vary from group to group, but breaking such codes happens everywhere. These observations show that various kinds of interpersonal relationships can develop in any conventionally ordered situations.
The differences become very clear when the rights and responsibilities that make up the conventional role clash with those rights and responsibilities that make up the interpersonal role. Difficulties arise, for example, when people begin to make friends, between whom a significant social distance is assumed. The problem becomes even more difficult when it comes to choosing the object of love. Falling in love does not always occur within sanctioned limits. One of the most agonizing conflicts is when a person experiences an irresistible attraction to someone with whom contact is forbidden - to an enemy in time of war, to a person of a different social class or a despised national minority, or to a member of his own family.
So, people participating in a coordinated action simultaneously interact in the language of two systems of gestures. As performers of conventional roles, they use conventional symbols that are the object of social control. At the same time, however, each actor's particular personality orientation is manifested in his style of performance, as well as in what he does when the situation is not well defined and he has some freedom of choice. The manifestation of personality traits, in turn, causes responses, often unconscious. If a person feels that his partners are contributing somehow not quite sincerely and sincerely, he may be offended, or disappointed, or even begin to despise them - depending on the characteristics of his character. He may have a desire to go on strike or to influence a colleague with affection, ask what is the matter, or yell at him in rage. Although such impulses are usually contained, they often break through in various expressive movements that are noticed by other participants. Among those who are involved in a common enterprise, therefore, there is a constant exchange of gestures, whereby mutual accommodation is carried out. One side of this exchange is conscious and largely symbolic, the other is more spontaneous and spontaneous.
These two forms of interaction almost imperceptibly merge into one another. But the differences are important, and failure to notice them can lead to great confusion - for example, in the study of leadership. There are people who hold positions of responsibility by inheritance or by other conventions. They are treated with respect, at least in public, but not all of them are respected as individuals. These characters can be contrasted with "natural leaders" who appear in critical situations, in spontaneous uprisings or in infantry battles. Such charismatic leaders find followers due to their extraordinary personal qualities and can hardly be replaced; those who achieve a high position through institutional procedures are usually replaced without great difficulty2. Similarly, misunderstandings can arise when anthropologists, in describing countless patriarchal practices, demonstrate the dependent position of women without taking into account individual differences. The reader gets the impression that all men in a country like Japan dominate women. However, in Japan, apparently, as many husbands are under the shoe of a wife as anywhere else. In a particular family, relationships depend on the personalities of family members, but this is not noticed by those who have observed only the traditionally submissive behavior of Japanese women in the presence of strangers3. Personal documents are especially valuable because they reveal the difference between outward compliance with group norms and what happens in private life.
So, our interests are concentrated on more or less long-term connections that are established between separate individuals. Whatever the association, people enter into highly personalized relationships that impose special rights and obligations on them, regardless of their conventional roles. When a person loves someone, he becomes attentive to the beloved, turns a blind eye to his shortcomings and rushes to help when necessary. But he doesn't feel obligated to do the same for someone he doesn't love. On the contrary, he will feel even better if he turns aside to give him trouble. To the extent that such tendencies are established, the system of interpersonal relations can be seen as another means of social control. The challenge facing social psychologists is to construct an adequate conceptual framework for studying these phenomena.
