"Cinderella": why a fairy tale should not be read to children. Fairy tale: the hidden meanings of "Cinderella"

Story edited by Charles Perrault

A “respectable and distinguished” widower with a daughter from his first marriage, a lovely and kind girl, marries an arrogant, quarrelsome and ugly lady with two daughters, similar to their mother both in appearance and character. After marriage, the wife shows her temper. She takes her husband in her hands, so that he does not dare to object to anything, and forces her stepdaughter to live in the attic, sleep on a straw bed and do the hardest and dirtiest work. After work, the girl usually rests, sitting on a box of ashes near the fireplace, which is why she is called Cinderella. Cinderella's stepsisters bathe in luxury and bully Cinderella. She resignedly takes down all bullying.

The prince arranges a ball to which he invites all the noble people of the kingdom with their wives and daughters. Cinderella's stepmother and sisters are also invited to the ball; Cinderella herself, in her dirty rags, no one will let into the palace. After the departure of her stepmother and sisters, Cinderella weeps bitterly. She is visited by her godmother, who is a fairy. The good fairy turns a pumpkin, mice, a rat and lizards respectively into a carriage, horses, a coachman and servants, Cinderella's rags into a luxurious dress, and gives her crystal slippers. She warns Cinderella that exactly at midnight the carriage will turn back into a pumpkin, the dress into rags, etc. Cinderella goes to the ball, makes a splash with her beauty, and the prince falls in love with her. At a quarter to twelve, Cinderella leaves the palace. At home, she puts on an old apron and wooden shoes and listens to the delighted stories of the returning sisters about the beautiful stranger who shone at the ball.

The next evening, Cinderella goes to the ball again. In love with a prince who does not leave her for a minute, she does not keep track of time and catches herself only when the clock strikes midnight. Cinderella runs away, but loses her glass slipper. The prince orders all the girls in the city to try on the shoe, declaring that the one who will fit the shoe will be his wife. To the surprise of the sisters, the shoe fits Cinderella exactly on the leg. Immediately after trying on, Cinderella takes out a second identical shoe from her pocket, and the fairy turns her rags into a luxurious dress. The sisters fall to their knees and ask for Cinderella's forgiveness. Cinderella forgives her sisters "with all her heart" and marries the prince.

Story edited by the Brothers Grimm

A rich man's wife dies. Before her death, she punishes her daughter to be modest and kind,

and the Lord will always help you, and I will look at you from heaven and will always be near you.

The daughter goes to her mother's grave every day and cries, and fulfills her mother's order. Winter comes, then spring, and the rich man marries another. The stepmother has two daughters - beautiful, but evil. They take beautiful dresses from the daughter of a rich man and drive her out to live in the kitchen. In addition, the girl now performs the most black and hard work from morning to evening, and sleeps in ashes, which is why she is called Cinderella. The stepsisters mock Cinderella, for example, by pouring peas and lentils into the ashes. The father goes to the fair and asks what to bring to his daughter and stepdaughters. The stepdaughters ask for expensive dresses and precious stones, and Cinderella asks for a branch, which on the way back will be the first to catch him by the hat. Cinderella plants the brought hazel branch on her mother's grave and waters it with tears. A beautiful tree grows.

Cinderella came to the tree three times a day, wept and prayed; and every time a white bird flew up to the tree. And when Cinderella expressed some desire to her, the bird threw her what she asked for.

The king arranges a three-day feast, to which he invites all the beautiful girls of the country so that his son can choose his bride. The stepsisters go to the feast, and Cinderella's stepmother declares that she accidentally spilled a bowl of lentils into the ashes, and Cinderella will be able to go to the ball only if she chooses her two hours in advance. Cinderella calls:

You, tame doves, you, turtledoves, heavenly birds, quickly fly to me, help me choose lentils! Better - in a pot, worse - in a goiter.

They complete the task in less than an hour. Then the stepmother "accidentally" wakes up two bowls of lentils and reduces the time to an hour. Cinderella again calls the doves and doves, and they manage in half an hour. The stepmother declares that Cinderella has nothing to wear, and she does not know how to dance, and leaves with her daughters without taking Cinderella. She comes to a walnut tree and asks:

You swing, dust yourself off, little tree, you dress me in gold and silver.

The tree sheds luxurious clothes. Cinderella comes to the ball. The prince dances all evening only with her. Then Cinderella runs away from him and climbs the dovecote. The prince tells the king what happened.

The old man thought: "Isn't this Cinderella?" He ordered to bring an ax and a hook to destroy the dovecote, but there was no one in it.

On the second day, Cinderella again asks the tree for clothes (in the same words), and the same thing is repeated as on the first day, only Cinderella does not run away to the dovecote, but climbs the pear tree.

On the third day, Cinderella again asks the tree for clothes and dances at the ball with the prince, but when she runs away, her shoe made of pure gold sticks to the tar-smeared stairs (prince's trick). The prince comes to Cinderella's father and says that he will only marry the one on whose foot this golden shoe falls.

One of the sisters cuts off her finger to put on a shoe. The prince takes her with him, but two white doves in a walnut tree sing that her slipper is covered in blood. The prince turns the horse back. The same is repeated with the other sister, only she does not cut off the toe, but the heel. Only Cinderella's slipper fits. The prince recognizes the girl and declares him his bride. When the prince and Cinderella pass by the cemetery, the doves fly down from the tree and sit on Cinderella's shoulders - one on the left, the other on the right, and remain sitting like that.

And when the time came to celebrate the wedding, the treacherous sisters also appeared - they wanted to seduce her and share her happiness with her. And when the wedding procession went to the church, the eldest was on the right hand of the bride, and the youngest on the left; and the pigeons pecked out each of their eyes. And then, when they were returning back from the church, the eldest walked on the left hand, and the youngest on the right; and the pigeons pecked out another eye from each of them. So they were punished for their malice and deceit for the rest of their lives by blindness.

Crystal shoes

In retellings for children, we usually talk about a glass slipper, but the name of the Russian non-adapted translation by A. Fedorov is "Cinderella, or a Slipper trimmed with fur." "Tales of Mother Goose, or stories and tales of bygone times with teachings"

The fairy-tale world of Perrault is strange: faces are not visible in it, voices are not distinguished, only things have certainty. Such is the shoe trimmed with fur (due to the fact that in some French editions the word vair- "fur for fringing" was mistakenly replaced by the word verre- “glass”, in the translations of Perrault’s fairy tales into a number of languages, including Russian, an exquisite, but incomprehensible image of the “glass shoe” appeared).

Ukrainian translation of Perrault's fairy tales, published in 2003 by Veselka publishing house. (For some reason, the fairy tale "Smart / Clever Princess, or the Adventures of Vostroshka" by Leritier de Villodon also ended up in this collection). The tale bears the name "Popeliushka, or Sobolev's little cherevichok." In the afterword, the author of the translation, Roman Tereshchenko, explains: "This time, Perrault used an almost completely forgotten now old French word, which in those distant times meant the most precious fur in medieval Europe, brought from distant Siberia - sable. Ironically, in French pronunciation, this word is almost impossible to distinguish from another, which means in translation glass, glass or crystal dishes". "The enchantress gave the maiden a pair of cherevichki, smitten with sable cunning, so smart and dexterous that no one in the world had better ones."

The original French title of Perrault's tale is Cendrillon ou La Petite Pantoufle de verre. It was this name that was in the 1697 edition of Perrault's fairy tales.

French-Russian dictionary: verre m means 1) glass 2) glass; glass 3) lens 4) pl. glasses. The saying se noyer dans un verre d "eau is to be unable to overcome the slightest difficulty, to drown in a glass of water (this is clearly not the case for Cinderella). Honore de Balzac and the outstanding scientist Emile Littre, author of the Dictionary of the French Language, named after him Le Littré , suggested replacing de verre in the title of the Cinderella fairy tale with de vair, which means "siberian squirrel fur" (not sable).

Shoes made of some unusual material are a fabulous tradition, and Perrault is not alone here. For example, in the fairy tale of Mrs. d "Onua" The Yellow Dwarf ", published in 1698, the heroine-princess appears in diamond shoes. Commentator A. Stroev notes on this occasion: "The diamond shoes of the Beauty are another argument against the attempts of some researchers to "disenchant" Cinderella's shoes, turn them from crystal into fur ". If you follow the logic of Balzac and Littre, a misprint was made in the publication of the fairy tale about Cinderella in 1697. But at that time it was not calculated, but on the contrary, they picked up the idea, as evidenced by the fairy tale d " Onua.

Home slippers made of crystal, in which they dance at the ball - looks paradoxical. Namely, such a paradox was one of the devices of the French literary fairy tale in the 17th-18th centuries.

Screen adaptations

Based on the plot of the fairy tale Cinderella, Evgeny Lvovich Schwartz wrote a play. In 1947 it was filmed by Nadezhda Kosheverova and Mikhail Shapiro. This is the most famous adaptation of the fairy tale in Russia.

In addition, there are many adaptations of the fairy tale filmed in different countries of the world (see Cinderella).

Cinderella is the most filmed story in the world


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    Cinderella: Cinderella (fr. Cendrillon) is a fairy-tale character and a collective image, appearing under various names in the legends and literary works of most peoples of the world. Cinderella (French Cendrillon, German Aschenputtel) ... Wikipedia

Good afternoon dear fairy tale lovers! I welcome you back to my site. Today, together with Charles Perrault, I will try to penetrate into the deep meaning of his fairy tale Cinderella.

Brief summary of the story.

Once upon a time there was a respectable and noble man. He had a wife and a daughter. But as soon as the daughter was 16 years old, the wife died. The father married someone else. The stepmother had two daughters of her own, whom she loved and protected from work. The stepmother hated her stepdaughter and entrusted her with all the dirty unpleasant work around the house, did not allow a single minute of rest.

The stepmother dressed her daughters in beautiful outfits, and the stepdaughter went around in an old, dirty dress. The stepdaughter was a beautiful girl, and the stepmother's daughters were not beautiful, but were proud, vain and tried in every possible way to humiliate their half-sister, they could not forgive her for her beauty and kindness. The stepmother was formidable aggressive, the father was overwhelmed by his wife's dominance and did not dare to protect his daughter.

Duality of the world

I think that we are talking about two types of people here: some are down to earth, they think only about the benefits, conveniences, wealth for their loved ones, they do not notice the suffering of the people around them. Even if they have any surplus of clothes, food, money, they will not share it with anyone. They are mundane because they are only interested in everything earthly, they are, as it were, children of the mother of matter (in fairy tales - stepmothers), who do not think that there is a heavenly world and there are other values. There is another type of people: they are already from birth, as it were, children of the Heavenly Father (in fairy tales, children of the father, stepdaughters, stepchildren). Respectful, hardworking, talented, always helping and supporting others, but inevitably enduring insults and ridicule from "stepmother's" children.

It would seem - such an injustice. But in every fairy tale, in the end, good wins. In this tale, the stepdaughter marries the prince; in other tales, Ivanushki and other brave heroes get the princess as their wife and half the kingdom in addition, etc.

Formation of the Family Tree

At the beginning of the tale there is a very important message: the girl lived with her parents until she was 16 years old. A loving mother managed to teach her daughter very important life principles:

“Mommy taught me: no, water does not flow under a stone,

And you can’t light a fire in the stove if it’s not filled with firewood.

And if you want to sleep sweetly, do not rely on God's mercy,

Straws need to be spread, and make sure that they do not go astray.

Don't you dare - don't take someone else's! Keep yours. How can you.

And wipe your tears, do not roar, you become weaker from self-pity.

Do not ask God for much, but believe that the edge will come - it will help.

Extinguish unreasonable anger, and do not be angry at fate, worthless.

Do not wait for someone to bring it, go get it, because your legs are holding.

And if trouble - who will save? Do something yourself first.

Let it be scary, let it not get out of hand, others can - you try.

The eyes of fear are large, but everything will work out - try.

And do not hold on to insults, forgive them. If I knew…"

Mother taught, and life confirmed her science (verses by A. Oparina).

It is very important that it is the parents who teach the child the basic concepts of life - this is the spiritual core that will make it possible to survive all the difficulties of life. In the cartoon "Ratibor's childhood" it is very well shown how mother and father taught their son to be strong, strong, smart. The child carries the instructions of his parents throughout his life and passes them on, multiplying his experience, to children, grandchildren, etc. This is how the Family Tree is formed.

Cinderella dreams

The word Cinderella means a diminutive of ash. Ash is the black remains of a burnt tree. In this world, the world of “leather clothes” or “wooden men” (in the fairy tale “The Golden Key”), we were born, not knowing how to control our capabilities, which the Heavenly Father laid in us during Creation. He created us “in His image and likeness”, that is, we have the ability to create and spiritualize what has been created so that it is alive.

A fairy in a fairy tale shows a few miracles: she makes a carriage out of a pumpkin, turns mice into horses, a rat into a coachman, with one wave of her magic wand she changes Cinderella's old dirty dress for a beautiful ball gown, which all the ladies at the prince envied at the ball.

The world is not easy

So how can we find in ourselves the “likeness of God”? Oddly enough, those who force us to be creative in any work (to earn more, you need to be able to do something better than other people: it’s more beautiful to sew, it’s tastier to cook, it’s better to build, to achieve better results in sports, to design better cars, airplanes, rockets, etc.) are the testers of our character. Endurance, endurance, the ability to make a wise decision, empathy, co-joy, patience and humility are not acquired all at once - this is the result of a long work of the human soul. Each generation of the clan earns something of its own over the course of its life and passes it on to children by genes, and children to their children, etc. The genus, in which the ancestors worked better, in each subsequent generation achieves better results. At school, from the very first grade, it is clear that all children are different in their abilities and in the depth of perception of information. Initially, each family on earth was given one talent - the very first one, and then the Lord said that people should develop their talents, and not "bury them in the ground", that is, laziness is excluded - a bad fellow traveler in life. Some kind of profession was passed from generation to generation from father to son, from son to grandson, etc. If it turned out to do one thing well, other abilities also developed along the way, for example: a rich crop grown had to be sold in order to acquire something else needed on the farm. They studied the craft of trade, the psychology of trade, learned the languages ​​of different peoples in order to trade with them. That is, a person who lives actively has always developed his talents.

This is an important moment in a person's life, but not the main one. We try to protect ourselves and our loved ones from the difficulties of life. But here is the paradox: if a person himself did not suffer, he does not know how to empathize with the pain of others, he does not find it necessary to help those in need, even if there is such an opportunity.

Finding the real you

“We say that there should be no suffering, but there is, and we must find ourselves in their fire. Sorrow is one of the most important factors in life, and therefore it is useless to say that it should not have been. There is sin and suffering and sorrow, and it is not our business to say that God made a mistake when he allowed them. Sorrow burns a lot of little things in our souls, but it does not always make a person better.

In success, it is impossible to find yourself. Success only makes you dizzy.

It is also impossible to find oneself in monotony. In monotony, we can only grumble.

You can find yourself only in the fire of suffering. Suffering either gives me myself or destroys my Self. Based on the scriptures, and human experience, this is known to be the case in people's lives. You always know when a person has gone through the fire of suffering and found himself (that is, the likeness of God in himself), and you are sure that you can turn to him in trouble and find that he has time for you. If you find yourself in the fire of suffering, God will make you useful to other people ”(O. Chambers).

The stepmother and sisters left for the ball, and Cinderella was ordered to sort out the mixed grains, and she completed this task. This is an image of the fact that we cleanse ourselves of everything unnecessary in the soul: grain from chaff, and all the forces of physical nature (birds) and the subtle world (angels) help us in this. Quantity turns into quality with constant effort; by our will, we develop patience and humility, if necessary, to endure some trials in fate.

Sometimes in our actions or in our dreams we rise above the ordinary - we are at the prince's ball. But soon this state passes: the carriage again turns into a pumpkin, a ball gown into an old ugly dress, and only a crystal slipper betrays our finding of a heavenly self. The difficulties of life that we have overcome refine our psyche, as if making our step on earth easier. In the fairy tale, this is reflected in the change in shoes: the Fairy replaced Cinderella's rough shoes with elegant crystal shoes and they did not disappear.

Those who are not very comfortable in the earthly world suffer, they are transformed even after life in the earthly world, they go to the Higher Light worlds. We subsequently call them Saints.

Joy of meeting

“The world is not simple, not simple at all. You can’t hide in it from storms and thunderstorms, you can’t hide in it from winters and blizzards, and from partings, from bitter partings. But for all these trials, a reward awaits ahead - the joy of meeting with Love - our Lord. And Cinderella is the heart of every person on our planet who has managed to subordinate the body to the soul, and the soul to the spirit. Here is such a transformation from ash to Cinderella.

I understood the meaning of this, at first glance, uncomplicated fairy tale. But in fact, it reflects the whole meaning of our life: do good and it will return to you, “what you release into the world is what you receive from it; how you want people to treat you, treat them the same way; by which judgment you judge, so shall you be judged” (Gospel).

Who owns the authorship of one of the most famous fairy tales in the world, who wrote "Cinderella"? Does it belong to the hand of Charles Perrault or was it invented by the Brothers Grimm? Or did this unique story come from the lips of the people? Is it possible to answer at least one of these many questions?

Most folklore scholars are sure not. The legend about the girl who lost her shoe is so ancient that it is no longer possible to establish the original source. In London, at the end of the 19th century, a book by M.R. Cox was published, which mentioned the specific number of variations of the fairy tale discovered by the author - 345. Modern collectors of myths and legends have found a much larger number, among which, probably, one of the oldest is the Chinese, recorded eleven centuries ago.

But for many, those who wrote "Cinderella" undoubtedly remain Charles Perrault - a French storyteller, writer and poet. Taking on plots that already existed in folklore, he reworked them in his own way, and at the same time to please His Royal Highness, often completing each story with a conclusion - a “moral” set out in an ironic and witty poem of his own authorship.

In the elegant creation of Perro, Cinderella appears before us in the form of a kind, obedient and beautiful daughter of a nobleman, whose first wife was also a beautiful woman. But, unfortunately, she dies, and Zamarashka's father has to marry another. And so begins the misadventures of the main character, who gets her name only because the frequent cleaning and bullying of her stepsisters and stepmother covered her with ashes and dust. Of course, thanks to her gentleness and kindness, she will with honor withstand all the trials prepared by fate, and will definitely marry the prince thanks to the shoe she lost, trimmed with fur (no, not crystal!), And will live happily ever after. But did this sweet story about a girl named Cinderella always end so happily? After all, Charles Perrault, in fact, showed the reader a simplified version, where the negative characters are almost not punished for their atrocities.

In the hands of Jacob's brothers and collectors of folklore, the tale takes on completely different tones, becoming an order of magnitude more magical and tougher. For example, there is no godmother as such in the presentation of the Germans, but there is an amazing tree growing on the mother’s grave, as well as two doves that settled in its branches, from which Cinderella receives the main help. Charles Perrault, who took the northern European version of the story as the basis for his version of the tale, which the brothers used almost a hundred years after the death of the Frenchman, probably also removed from it the bloody details of “revenge” on the stepmother and her daughters for the mistreatment of the main character. It is worth mentioning that at the end of the Grimm's fairy tale, two Zamarashki cut off one or another part of their legs in order to fit into an already golden shoe, after which the two aforementioned doves peck out both eyes of each of them in the wedding episode.

In the "Pentameron" by the Italian storyteller and poet Basile, one can see the edition of the story, which, according to some assumptions, Perrault also saw. The Cinderella here - Zezolla - is not the pretty girl we used to imagine her to be. She kills her first stepmother with a chest, after which her teacher becomes the second, who, in fact, persuades the main character to commit a crime. The sisters in the Italian variation are not two, but six, and the godmother herself does not appear on stage. But the unlucky girl's father brings a special set of magical things received from his fairy friend, with the help of which Zezolla easily goes through a series of balls, loss and subsequent fitting of shoes and marries the prince.

When we hear another version of the tale, set out in a book of stories published in France about beautiful Greek courtesans, it becomes even less clear to us who wrote Cinderella. In it, the author dispenses with balls, stepmothers, half-sisters and magic, leaving only the fact of losing a shoe, or rather stealing a sandal from the main character, while she is thrown at the feet of Pharaoh Psammetikh, who then orders to find the owner. The story still ends with a happy wedding.

The Chinese Cinderella mentioned above, named Yehhsien, was distinguished from others by her intelligence and talent for making ceramics. The magical assistant here is who, unfortunately, is killed by her stepmother. However, this does not prevent the main character from using her bones, which also have magical powers. With the help of them, Yehhsien goes to the carnival in a cloak trimmed with kingfisher feathers and gold shoes, one of which she, of course, loses. The warlord finds her, who then searches for the owner all over China, and then, having found his Cinderella, marries her. And for mistreatment of the stepdaughter, the stepmother, and at the same time her daughters, are stoned to death.

But, despite the huge number of versions of this famous story, it is up to you to decide who wrote Cinderella, and not to researchers, storytellers and numerous collectors of folklore. After all, it may happen that only one of all will fall in love with your heart, which means it will turn out to be the main and most faithful. And it will certainly be the right choice.

A needle glitters in his hand.
Winter stands in the window.
Aging Cinderella
She sews her own shoe...
David Samoilov

Do you want to take away the faith, break the dream? You swung at the sacred ... Cinderella is the Bible that every girl prays to.
From a conversation with a colleague

One of the popular fairy tales that has not lost its relevance in our time is the story of Cinderella. Almost all peoples have an analogue of this fairy tale. The most famous versions that have come down to our time are retellings of this tale by Ch. Perrault and the Grimm brothers.

At first glance, the story seems banal. After the death of her mother, the girl becomes an orphan. Her father marries a powerful woman, completely falls under her influence and allows her stepmother and her daughters to mock the heroine. But with the help of the fairy godmother, Cinderella gets to the ball, charms the prince and marries him. Evil is punished, good triumphs, readers will find a happy ending to the tale.

However, is the plot really that simple? Does it have "pitfalls"? This question is not rhetorical. After all, the idea of ​​"Cinderella" entered the subconscious of the female half of humanity so powerfully that many of our contemporaries firmly believe in the reality of such a story. As before, modern Cinderellas hope that if you endure, suffer, work hard, deny yourself everything and be good, then there will certainly be a Prince on the notorious white horse who will definitely find her and take her as his wife. Cinderellas live with such ideas for a long time - they grow up, study, listen to their mothers, work, read the right books and wait, wait, wait ...

However, in reality, everything happens differently. Why doesn't Cinderella always get the promised reward at the end? Why is she often all her life in a relationship where she is subjected to violence and humiliation? And if we return to the fairy tale, then why do people around Cinderella treat so badly? Why is she alone doing heavy household chores? Is it possible for a family invited to a royal ball to have no servants and exploit one of their members?

In order to answer these questions, let's try to describe the features of the personality structure of a Cinderella type client. To better illustrate clinical phenomena, we will use the two most famous versions of the tale: Ch. Perrault and the Brothers Grimm. We will try to restore the psychological portrait of Cinderella, based on the knowledge and experience gained in clinical psychology.

The history of the development of the client type "Cinderella"

Let's try to reconstruct the history of Cinderella's development through the analysis of her family system. Obviously, the family in which Cinderella lives is dysfunctional in a number of ways. We will describe these options below.

1. Dysfunction in the "power" parameter.

Power is authority, dominance. In a normal family, power belongs to the matrimonial dyad, and responsibility is inextricably linked with power. However, in the Cinderella family, all power belongs to the stepmother. It is she who controls all processes, makes decisions. The mother is hyper and the father is hypofunctional. In this family, the father is reduced to the position of a child, because it is his wife who determines the nature and quality of his contacts with Cinderella.

2. The role structure of the family makes it possible to determine the contribution of each member to the organization of family life (roles-duties) and typical patterns of behavior in various family situations (roles of interaction).

An indicator of the dysfunctionality of the family system is the emergence of pathological roles that allow the family as a system to maintain stability, however, due to their structure and content, they have a traumatic effect on its members.

One example of role dysfunction is delegating the role of an adult to a child. In her family, Cinderella has been overloaded with adult responsibilities since childhood and plays the role of a scapegoat.

Cinderella - “cook”, “in the kitchen from morning until late at night”, “does menial work”, “gets up early in the morning”, “carries water”, “heats the stove”, “washes”, “combs others’ hair and cleans shoes ”, does not have “decent clothes”, and is also “mocked by the rest”, for example, by mixing peas and lentils with ashes, so that Cinderella then chooses them from there.

The appearance of a "scapegoat" is one of the clearest signs of a dysfunctional family system. For other members of the family, the “set of roles” is diverse and has different opportunities. Those family members who play mainly important roles have more power in the family.

The dysfunctionality of Cinderella's family is also defined by the inability of family members to function flexibly in multiple roles. The father is "the one who is led by the wife", "the one who earns a living", "who does not interfere in anything." The stepmother is the “head of the family”, “the one who makes all the decisions”, “who controls everything”. The list of Cinderella roles listed above is a clear indication of the rigid and pathological family structure.

3. Communication is broken in the Cinderella family.

This violation is especially evident in the interaction of family members with Cinderella. In almost every communicative act described, it is either used or neglected. Cinderella's expressed desires are either not heard or ridiculed, while the messages of other family members are understood and "decoded" without distortion.

If we analyze the style of emotional communication, we can notice the circulation of positive feelings and aggression specific to this family. So, the mother expresses warm feelings for her own daughters and never scolds or criticizes them, while Cinderella gets all the aggression and neglect and never support, praise, approval.

4. A sign of dysfunction in the Cinderella family is also a difference in the status of children.

It is known that they are all about the same age, but at the same time, the stepmother's own daughters have a high status, and Cinderella has a low one. Children have different requirements, they perform an incomparable range of household chores.

5. Cinderella's family is broken in the "flexibility" parameter.

This means that, despite the changes taking place with its members, everything in the family remains the same. So, Cinderella wants to go to the ball, which means her claim to the status of the bride, i.e. for adulthood. However, her claims are not accepted, as the family is not ready to rebuild and recognize that Cinderella is already ready to create her own family.

An analysis of relationships in the Cinderella family allows us to make a number of assumptions regarding their development. According to the story, as a child, Cinderella received enough warmth, love and attention. However, then the mother dies, a stepmother appears in the family, who never supports Cinderella. However, next to Cinderella is her own father, who normally should love and protect his daughter. But at some point, he pulls away from Cinderella and ceases to fulfill his fatherly role.

We hypothesize that his withdrawal is due to his daughter's developing sexuality. It is difficult for men to deal with their warm feelings for their daughters during their maturation, as the father-mother-daughter triangle turns into a man-woman-girl triangle. It is the fear of breaking the incest taboo, combined with a domineering, competitive wife who completely subjugates her husband, that leads to the emotional separation of the father from the daughter.

Thus, the developmental history of the Cinderella client contains aggression and neglect on the part of the mother, as well as emotional coldness and distance on the part of the father. The combination of a dysfunctional family structure with certain properties of the client's nervous system (sensitivity, emotionality, lability of neuropsychic processes, sociability) provides all the prerequisites for the development of a hysterical personality characterology.

Orphan Mask: A Cinderella Story as a Fantasy

Let's try to perform an unusual action and consider this tale not as a fairy tale, but a real, but confusing story. One version of this story may be the idea that Cinderella is an ordinary girl who lives in an ordinary family, where during her development there were no crisis events associated with the death of her parents. Then her stepmother is actually her own mother.

After the birth of her younger children, she, as is customary in many families, shifted part of the burden onto her eldest daughter, Cinderella. However, she was not prepared for this turn of events. Not having survived the crisis of uniqueness, not having coped with the experiences, Cinderella regresses to earlier phases of her development.

This phenomenon is quite common. After the appearance of the youngest child in the family, the eldest may demonstrate behavior that was characteristic of him at the previous, earlier stages of development: thumb sucking, whims, enuresis, loss of the ability to express himself clearly, etc. However, after a while, the skills return, and, having survived a difficult period life, the older child comes to terms with the appearance of the younger, learns to handle his aggression and continues to live, develop and learn.

What happens if the place of the elder in the heart is taken by the younger brother or sister, but at the same time the older child, having become a debunked idol, could not cope with such an emotional burden? Each time the solution to the problem will be a compromise between his needs and desires, on the one hand, and the response of the environment, on the other. This compromise is an adaptation process aimed at developing a number of specific defense mechanisms that allow the child to cope with stress.

In our opinion, the appearance of the sisters fell on Cinderella's 3-5 years of age. It is at this age that oedipal conflicts play a significant role. From the story of Charles Perrault, we know that Cinderella was a beauty - "kind, friendly, sweet." Perhaps it was the peculiarities of intra-family relations associated with the seductive (or seduced) father and the fact that Cinderella and mother compete for his attention that led to the development of such features of the client that we would describe as hysterical.

S. Johnson points out that in the development of a hysterical personality, “the presence of any form of sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family history and, as a result, conflicts regarding love, sex and rivalry” is decisive (Johnson, S.M. Psychotherapy of character).

Receiving the love and attention of her father, Cinderella entered into a competitive relationship with her mother, which led to conflicts and tension between them. Feeling the over-attention and love that the daughter causes from her husband, the wife experiences jealousy, tension, anger, and in response chooses a rather aggressive and humiliating way of behavior for the child. She begins to control their contacts in such a way that Cinderella "did not dare to complain even to her father."

“The stepmother so tidied him up in her arms that he now looked at everything through her eyes and, probably, would only scold his daughter for ingratitude and disobedience” (Ch. Perrot, Cinderella).

So, Cinderella turned out to be a rejected idol. She lost her father's love and support. She also lost her mother's love - after all, her sisters took her place! Cinderella turned into a "function" - she was forced to help her mother with younger children and do hard homework, while not receiving attention, love and care. Its value began to be determined only by how well it performs its duties, how well it meets the requirements of the social environment.

Nobody cared what Cinderella felt, what she wanted, how she lived. It seems that these events were the impetus for her regression and the appearance of a number of protective narcissistic characteristics in combination with nuclear hysterical pathology.

In real stories, the circumstances of the life of the eldest child, overthrown from the throne of love, are not so tragic. In the fairy tale, this idea is presented grotesquely, convexly: she lives in a family where, instead of her own mother, the upbringing is carried out by an evil stepmother, and the father has no power.

However, it is not so much the real circumstances of life that are important here, but the inner experiences of the child who feels rejected. The subjective picture of the world of a child deprived of love can be much more tragic than the objective reality in which he is.

So, if we consider the story of Cinderella as a fantasy, then it is obvious that the painful experience of her rejection - in fact, a symbolic murder by her mother - leads to a kind of revenge, during which the mother "dies", she is replaced by an evil stepmother, and Cinderella becomes useless to anyone " an orphan."

Thus, in therapeutic practice, when confronted with a client's story, we are not necessarily dealing with a real story: it can be a subjective reality associated with some kind of severe mental pain that this particular client experiences in this way.

Z. Freud was the first to encounter this phenomenon: in almost all the stories told by his patients, there was incest, seduction or violence at an early age, often the fruit of fantasies in which they sincerely believed.

Therefore, one of the realistic explanations for all the "inconsistencies" in the life of the heroine is due to the fact that the magical adventures, metamorphoses and amazing events in the life of Cinderella are the fruit of her imagination. After all, reality is so harsh, so cruel that it is almost impossible to stay in it, experiencing pain, humiliation and rejection.

An important diagnostic feature of her hysterical style is life in a fantasy world. "Leaving" into the virtual world protects Cinderella from complete self-destruction and loss of self-respect. Working, cleaning, washing, Cinderella moves away from these processes - she lives in the world of her fantasies.

Obviously, these fantasies serve a protective function, supporting Cinderella's dreams of her being chosen, being different from others, and also of a completely different life, where she does something opposite to what she faces every day: she dresses well, has fun, dances, enjoys everyone's attention and respect. .

It is to the fantasies of Cinderella that the main part of the “non-fairytale” story can be attributed. In the tale, as you know, “the son of the king of that country arranged a big ball and called all the noble people with their wives and daughters to it. The sisters of Cinderella also received an invitation to the ball ”(Ch. Perrot, Cinderella).

Curious: why wasn't Cinderella invited to the ball? After all, she is also the daughter of a noble person. The answer is unequivocal: both the ball and the invitations are the fruit of fantasies in which Cinderella appears as an ignored, devalued member of a high-status family. She revels in these fantasies, imagining preparing for the ball and buying expensive outfits for her sisters.

This is in tune with the ideas of D. Shapiro: “It seems that the romantic, dreamy, unrealistic and loose perception of the world by the hysteric extends to himself. He does not feel like a material being with a factual history.

Often he is not aware of his story at all, or if he is, he sees it in the form of a novel populated by impressive romantic or idealized characters. He himself feels like a character in this novel, Cinderella or a heroic and courageous Don Juan ”(Shapiro, Neurotic Styles).

In real life, Cinderella continues to work hard around the house. “Poor Cinderella has more work and care than ever. She had to iron her sisters' dresses, starch their skirts, knit their collars and frills... The sisters kept calling Cinderella and asking her which comb, ribbon or buckle to choose. They knew that Cinderella had a better understanding of what was beautiful and what was ugly. No one could pin lace or curl curls as skillfully as she did ”(Ch. Perrot, Cinderella).

I wonder how a girl who spends all day cleaning, washing, cooking, has such special skills, as well as knowledge in the field of fashion? Obviously, we are dealing with fantasies and dreams.

Another confirmation that our heroine lives in a subjective, distorted picture of reality is the fact that Cinderella, a girl from a family invited to the king's ball, had to do all this hard work around the house. It is difficult to imagine that this could happen in reality.

The role of the martyr: the story of Cinderella as a reality

You can consider this story as the real life of a girl - an outcast in the family. The family scapegoat, to whom all aggression is directed, is a fairly common phenomenon. Being a devalued and rejected member of the family, such a person often becomes a carrier of a symptom that is a reflection of family trouble.

However, a number of questions arise related to the long stay of Cinderella in such monstrous conditions. Why doesn't Cinderella do anything in reality? Why is he not trying to take his rightful place in the family? Why suffer humiliation and insults? How is her patience and humility supported? After all, everyone has a chance to change their life for the better. But she continues to live in agonizing conditions throughout history. It seems that this behavior of the heroine is not accidental.

In our opinion, such sacrificial behavior is evidence of the hidden narcissism of the heroine. Perhaps it is precisely the demonstration to others of how resignedly unhappy she is, how she is used, exploited and not loved, that allows Cinderella to be proud of herself and consider herself better, higher and more worthy of others.

However, she does not openly express her desire to be the best, win the competition, receive attention: on the contrary, she always agrees with everyone and obeys everyone, behaves imperceptibly, without expressing practically any of her own desires. This behavior is protective and "protects" Cinderella from facing harsh reality.

One of the aspects of the operation of narcissistic defenses reflects the importance of preserving the subjective reality in which Cinderella knows and knows everything much better than those around her. Cinderella's narcissistic defenses are necessary for her to maintain her self-esteem and self-respect.

She is the most beautiful: “and yet Cinderella in her old dress, stained with ashes, was a hundred times nicer than her sisters, dressed in velvet and silk” (Ch. Perrot, Cinderella). Denying the reality in which she is an ordinary young girl, Cinderella continues to live in a fictional world where an ideal, intelligent, well-mannered beauty is hiding under a dirty house dress. Thus, we are faced with the vanity of Cinderella.

Another reflection of Cinderella's use of narcissistic defenses is the scene in which the sisters ask Cinderella to comb their hair for the trip to the ball. “Another one in the place of Cinderella would comb her sisters as badly as possible. But Cinderella was kind: she combed them as well as possible.

So Cinderella could have messed things up, but she doesn't. Here we are confronted with Cinderella's repressed aggression and her possession of secret power - after all, if she wants, she can do everything in a completely different way. In her fantasies, she acts as a generous, kind, forgiving and accepting person.

This is vividly reflected in one of the moments of the tale. Cinderella wants to go to the ball and turns to her stepsister:

“Ah, Sister Javotte, give me your yellow dress, which you wear at home every day, for one evening!

- It just wasn't enough! Javotte said, shrugging her shoulders. Give your dress to a slut like you! I don't think I've gone crazy yet.

Cinderella did not expect another answer and was not at all upset. Indeed, what would she do if Javotte suddenly became generous and decided to lend her her dress! (Ch. Perrot, Cinderella).

What would she really do if the halo of a martyr were removed from her? How would you feel? It looks like it would upset her whole game. All or nothing - often this phrase is Cinderella's carefully hidden motto.

The dethroned child dreams of regaining it, and the prospect of being ordinary, like everyone else, does not appeal to him. Then it remains to be patient and wait, wait for your finest hour, your prince, who will restore justice. The level of Cinderella's claims is the role of the queen, who will be able to command everyone, especially offenders: stepmother and sisters.

But Cinderella never seriously thinks about her situation, continuing to ignore the sad reality, do dirty work, wear a heapy shirt, give up all the joys of life, never complaining about oppression and violence. Thus, Cinderella does not try to conduct a deep analysis of her life, her place in the family, her behavior and her desires - in tense situations, she simply withdraws from reality into a fantasy world.

Of interest is the attitude of Cinderella to the world of men and women. For some time after the death of her mother, she lived only with her father. It seems that their relationship was close enough, since Cinderella was the only reminder of the deceased wife. But after the conclusion of a new marriage by the father, everything changed - the daughter was rejected and left alone with her aggressive stepmother and stepsisters.

Despite the fact that Cinderella "still yearns for a libidinally attractive, but safe male personality who can take care of her and save her," the father is "out of reach" almost all the time. Abandoned by a loving mother and father, traumatized and oppressed by the other women in the family, Cinderella feels deeply rejected because of her gender. At the same time, she notes that "femininity has a strange power over men" (McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnostics).

Thus, Cinderella's story unfolds a classic situation in which traditional cultural stereotypes (men are strong but aloof; women are soft but weak), combined with a range of family dysfunctions, lead "to the search for security and self-respect through attachment to men whom she considers especially strong" (McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnostics).

Codependency and the Angry Mother

However, we will try to ask questions: why does Cinderella live like this? What does she want? What is he afraid of? It seems to be due to the contemptuous attitude of family members, which resulted in low self-esteem and loss of self-esteem. However, the way she chooses is quite narcissistic.

Cinderella strives to achieve tremendous success and prove to everyone that she is not just a poor, hardworking messy girl, but a real princess. That is why the level of Cinderella's claims is not an ordinary man, but the prince himself! However, she does not dream of love, relationships, family - she dreams of a prince and obtaining the power that will allow her to gain the safety and respect of others.

By “joining” the prince, Cinderella can increase her self-esteem, as this holder of the title and status will become, as it were, part of herself. The main thing in relations with the Prince is not love, but the creation of conditions for a more stable self-perception of Cinderella. Note that the fairy tale never talks about feelings - Cinderella to the prince, the prince to Cinderella.

The only emotionally charged relationships in the tale are those between Cinderella and her stepmother and sisters. These relationships cannot be called simple. It seems that most of all Cinderella is afraid of losing these difficult, humiliating, confused, but the only emotional relationships available to her with members of her own family.

Awakening femininity requires its realization, but she does not resort to open real competition with her sisters, but uses a fantasy version - she indulges in dreams in which she is a princess, and her chosen one is a prince.

Cinderella's relationship with her stepmother and sisters can be described as co-dependent. The term "codependency" is made up of two parts: "co-", meaning "joint", and "dependency", which describes the loss of freedom. One of the primary feelings in co-dependent relationships is fear—the fear of being rejected by significant others. It is because of this fear that Cinderella does not try to build boundaries, say no, refuse intolerable work and demand respect.

Curious is the fact that the stepmother is just the character who plays a dual role in the life of Cinderella. On the one hand, her aggressive, humiliating Cinderella behavior forms certain masochistic traits in the heroine.

It was the relationship with her stepmother, who constantly humiliated Cinderella, forcing her to work hard around the house and refusing small pleasures, turned her into who she is - outwardly submissive, downtrodden, agreeing with any violence, a girl who dreams of triumph and revenge on offenders.

The formed masochistic radical leads to the fact that next to the victim-Cinderella, all family members become tyrants. Perhaps Cinderella provokes violence in her surroundings because she derives a secondary benefit from her position as a victim. It seems that Cinderella unconsciously achieves exactly this effect.

The arrogance of Cinderella the victim lies in the fact that she revels in her suffering, while feeling like a winner. At first glance, it is quite difficult to discern Cinderella's hysteria behind the observed resigned behavior, sacrifice and even masochism.

However, this is a special form of hysteria, the only possible one in the current situation, manifested in a demonstration of sacrifice and performing the function of attracting attention. And Cinderella succeeds in this in full: all the readers of the world sympathize with her, but not her relatives.

How it is consonant with the experiences of people who live with hysterics who play the role of a victim. In other, more favorable cases, for example, at a ball, Cinderella is fully able to use her demonstrativeness and charm the prince, the king and all the guests.

On the other hand, such behavior of the stepmother is normatively conditioned. Cinderella is a marriageable girl, and accustoming her to housework, developing industriousness, housekeeping skills is normal and natural for a girl of that time. In the same way that today's mothers take their children to sections and circles, educate them and develop the skills necessary for self-realization in modern society, the stepmother prepares Cinderella for adulthood. True, she chooses rather aggressive forms and methods for this.

However, it is precisely this behavior of the stepmother, paradoxically, that contributes to the differentiation of Cinderella. Today, as in former times, in order to start an independent life, a girl must be separated from her parents. It can be difficult for modern children to “betray” a loving, understanding, all-forgiving mother. Separating from such a mother can be difficult, and sometimes impossible. The stepmother in the fairy tale is quite aggressive towards Cinderella. She also stops all her attempts to separate - for example, she does not let her go to a ball where the prince is looking for a bride. So, in the version of the fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm, Cinderella “began to ask her stepmother to let her go.

“Oh, Cinderella,” said her stepmother, “you are all covered in mud and dust, where can you go to the feast? You don’t have a dress, you don’t have shoes, and you still want to dance!

But Cinderella kept asking her. Then her stepmother says to her:

- Here I was spilling a bowl of lentils in the ashes. If you choose it in two hours, then you can go along with the sisters.

The more difficult the tasks given to Cinderella by her stepmother, the stronger the girl's desire to break the taboos and go to the ball, and, in fact, look for a man. The mother “… tries to delay as long as possible the fateful moment of the separation of her daughter's life from her own. She may try to cut off her daughter from the outside world, minimizing any potential contact with her…” [Eljacheff, Daughters-mothers].

Thus, a stepmother is a mother who raised her daughter “for herself” and keeps her close, at the same time building rigid boundaries with her. This complex field of double messages - I do not need you entirely, I only need your skills and abilities - is very difficult to survive. You can react to this with despair and self-destruction (by the masochistic type), by going into the fantasy world (by the hysterical type) and by proving your mother's worth and uniqueness (by the narcissistic type).

None of these choices take into account Cinderella's own self - her desires, dreams, needs, abilities. Living with such a mother, the relationship with which can be described as both conflicting and confusing, unequivocally leads to the formation of one of the pathologies described above.

Therapeutic Functions of the Fairy Godmother

However, there is a substitute mother in history. This is a fairy godmother who makes up for the lack of motherly love and weakens Cinderella's dependence on her stepmother. What the heroine cannot receive from her stepmother - support, care, respect, help in choosing clothes, etc. she receives from the fairy godmother (or in another version of the tale - from a tree that grew on her mother's grave).

Thus, one can note various manifestations of the maternal hypostasis in the fairy tale. One - the stepmother - acts as a harsh, punishing, inattentive to the needs of her daughter, keeping her within strictly defined limits. This mother prepares her for real life.

However, she is balanced by another mother - the godmother. Indeed, despite the fact that according to the plot she is a fairy, first of all, the adjective “godmother” is followed by the noun “mother”. This mother is the executive self of Cinderella. The fairy godmother gives Cinderella everything she dreams of, supports her, takes care of her, treats her with attention and understanding:

“Her godmother, who just at that time came to visit the poor girl, found her in tears.

“What is the matter with you, my child? she asked. But Cinderella wept so bitterly that she could not even answer.

You would like to go to the ball, wouldn't you? the godmother asked.

She was a fairy - a sorceress - and heard not only what they say, but also what they think.

The ideal mother is the mother who understands the unspoken. If she is not balanced by a "bad" mother, the daughter has no chance to separate. However, in real life, mothers are often on one or the other pole of the continuum, either severely traumatizing, rejecting and exploiting their daughter, or holding her close to them, preventing them from separating and becoming an adult. Therefore, Cinderella's fairy godmother fantasies contain those aspects of the relationship that she lacks in contact with her stepmother.

On the other hand, the fairy godmother performs the functions of a psychotherapist for the heroine. She is sensitive, empathic and understands the state of the heroine. What is very important - she has resources that Cinderella does not have. However, Cinderella is not able to use the resources of the fairy godmother, to make them her own resources: the duration of the magic is limited, in a fairy tale it ends at 12 o'clock at night.

The symbolism of shoes in a fairy tale seems interesting.

Shoes are a metaphor for support in a fairy tale, and elements of fairy godmother magic are a metaphor for advice in psychotherapy. After all, if the client does not have his own support, we can spend years for it to appear, or we can give him “crystal shoes” for temporary use, which will allow him to pass the test with honor and gain new experience.

Imagine a fairy godmother saying, “I see that you would like to go to the ball. But you don’t have a dress or shoes ... Realize this and think about how you can get them. Perhaps this is an honest and correct, but often a dead end move. After all, rules are created for general cases, and there are exceptions to any rule.

Another thing is that the fairy tale just does not take into account the principles of handling this therapeutic tool, which we wrote about above. In addition, the fairy godmother as a therapist gives much more than Cinderella is able to take as a client.

Therapy

The conducted clinical and phenomenological analysis allows us to classify our heroine as a personality type with a hysterical organization. A number of facts speak in favor of this: the history of its development (the initial atmosphere of love and adoration with the subsequent “overthrow from the throne”), the family situation (dysfunctions of the family system in terms of “power”, “role structure”, “communication”, “flexibility” and etc.), ways of its contact with others and the outside world (tendency to indulge in fantasies), dominant defense mechanisms (regression, dissociation, idealization).

If we consider Cinderella's personality from the point of view of the depth of violation, then the presence in her arsenal of primitive defenses (idealization and dissociation), the features of the quality of her identity (diffusion and inconsistency of her own Self) and impaired contact with reality (fantasy) speak in favor of her functioning in border register. Highlighted clinical characteristics suggest the use of specific therapeutic strategies and methods of work.

Let us dwell on the main points of therapy with Cinderella clients.

The main requirements for a psychotherapist are to remain calm and tolerant. Due to the personal characteristics of such clients - demonstrativeness, a tendency to dramatization, emotionality, it is sometimes difficult for the therapist to perceive them without the desire to re-educate, remake or lead to a change in world perception. However, such reactions of the therapist undermine the contact due to the great sensitivity and vulnerability of this type of client.

A typical countertransference reaction to Cinderella clients is to perceive him as a "little one" who needs help and advice from a child. Interestingly, even when reading the fairy tale, one gets the impression that Cinderella is a little girl, although in fact she is a mature girl. These countertransference reactions are typical of working with hysterical clients.

Since one of the main defenses in the hysterical arsenal is regression, it is difficult for the therapist not to fall into omnipotence with the resulting desire to cheer, comfort, praise, take responsibility, instead of developing the client's ability to self-support and rely on their own resources. Such a strategy will not bring a therapeutic effect, but will maintain the client's infantility and his dependence on the therapist.

The difficulty in working with hysterical personalities is also their idealizing transference. In the course of therapy, an internal idealized object may be displaced or projected onto the therapist, which, combined with the theatricality and drama of the client's behavior, sometimes gives the therapist a strong impression of "true love."

That is why cases of violation of therapeutic ethics associated with sexual relations between the therapist and the client are quite often due to the nature of the contact of the hysterical client with his environment. If the therapist does not respond to the strong feelings of the client, he is accused of selfishness and misunderstanding; if he succumbs to temptation, the therapy ends.

Deep transformation of hysterical clients is possible only when their seduction tactics fail and when they finally realize that they can receive help without exploiting other people and using them as sexual objects.

As the main strategy of work, one can single out the focus on "grounding" the client - unobtrusively and methodically returning him to reality ("reality therapy"). In this case, the leading technique will be interpretations - the classic psychoanalytic technique used with clients of this kind even by Freud himself.

Since clients with hysterical personality organization in therapy easily form a stable transference (transference neurosis), the emphasis in psychotherapy should be on therapeutic interaction. The task of the therapist is to methodically and persistently interpret the phenomena that arise in contact with the client - resistances, transference, violent emotional reactions, fantasies.

In a fairy tale situation, Cinderella has no resources to change. The active and excessive help of the Fairy Godmother is not therapeutic for our heroine. Her help goes beyond the zone of proximal development. Cinderella is unable to appropriate, to internalize this external support. In the fairy tale, this is symbolically shown as the loss of Cinderella's shoe. The shoe can be seen as a symbol of support.

Cinderella, according to the script of the fairy tale, does not have an internal stable support, and she cannot rely on her own strength in situations when the fairy godmother's magic ends. Thus, this once again refers us to the idea of ​​adequate support, which is located in the "zone of actual development" of the client. Otherwise, brilliant therapeutic interventions will be lost by the client in the same way that the shoe was lost by Cinderella.

The characterology of the heroine and in her subsequent life, if we move away from magic, will give rise to habitual patterns of behavior. In the fairy tale, the external situation changes dramatically, not Cinderella. In this regard, the prognosis in this regard seems to us to be unfavorable: if Cinderella is placed in a different environment, she will either continue to play the role of a victim, or turn into a cruel aggressor.

This possibility is vividly reflected in the fairy tales about Cinderella, where there are two options for the development of events. In Ch. Perrault’s version, at the end of the story, the sisters “rushed at Cinderella’s feet to beg forgiveness for all the insults that she suffered from them. Cinderella forgave the sisters with all her heart - after all, she was not only pretty, but also kind.

However, in the version of the fairy tale presented by the Brothers Grimm, the conclusion is not so cloudless. “And when the time came to celebrate the wedding, the treacherous sisters also appeared - they wanted to seduce her and share her happiness with her. And when the wedding procession went to the church, the eldest was on the right hand of the bride, and the youngest on the left; and the pigeons pecked out each of their eyes. And then, when they were returning back from the church, the eldest walked on the left hand, and the youngest on the right; and the pigeons pecked out another eye from each of them. So they were punished for their malice and slyness for the rest of their lives with blindness. and V. Grimm].

Thus, Cinderella's virtue turns out to be false: beneath it lies a furious rage, destructive for the former offender. The pigeons that pecked out the eyes of the sisters are the very helpers of Cinderella who separated the peas and lentils from the ashes. Obedient to desires and orders, they did what their mistress wanted - they pecked out the eyes of the offending sisters.

In therapy, we too can encounter this sea of ​​rage in a long-term rejected and oppressed child. This rage is a positive moment in psychotherapy. However, acknowledging such feelings is almost impossible for Cinderella, as she represses and denies them all the time.

Thus, the therapy of Cinderella clients requires understanding and patience in moments of manifestation of rage and anger. The difficulty lies in the fact that such clients are not ready to appropriate their behavior and take responsibility for it (“these were not my feelings”, “I really don’t think so”, “something seemed to have moved into me”). The use of a defense such as dissociation requires the therapist to work through all the "split off" affects.

Forecast for later life

There is another figure in this tale that gives rise to many hopes and fantasies - the prince. It is with him that hopes for a sudden change in the life of Cinderella and dreams of their future cloudless life are connected. It is this happy ending in a fairy tale that excites the hearts of girls who dream of a "prince on a white horse."

Let's try to think about the possible forecast of their future family life. We dare to assume that it will not be so rosy. Our heroine, by virtue of her personality structure and inclination to indulge in fantasies, was initially programmed to meet a high-status man. The Prince is interested in her not as a person with his own personal characteristics, character, habits and dreams, but precisely as the Prince - the bearer of power, which the heroine herself is deprived of.

Her perception, prone to idealization, is not realistic, and in the prince she sees the embodiment of her fantasies, connected by the need for security by increasing social and family status, gaining recognition, but not emotional intimacy, warmth, love.

It seems that Cinderella, who has lost both maternal and paternal love, does not consider them valuable characteristics of family life, choosing the “power” parameter, which is more weighty and significant for her.

It is possible that for some time of her life in marriage her perception of the prince will be built under the influence of the effects of advances, but reality, as you know, is a stubborn thing - how many - how many family ships break on her harsh waves.

The prince, based on the text of the tale, is most likely a daffodil. He is also looking for a wife-Princess - an attractive, bright girl. He, apparently, has little interest in the human qualities of his future wife. After spending two evenings with her, he never found out anything about her: neither who her parents were, nor where she lives, nor her preferences, tastes, habits.

However, the Prince is a hunter by nature. He doesn't care who she really is. Feeling interested and excited, he begins to pursue Cinderella, because he decided that he needed her as a beautiful thing or an attractive object. It is also interesting how he is looking for Cinderella. When trying to find her, he makes the main bet on the shoe: it either suits the girl, and then this is his bride, or it does not fit, and, therefore, this is not her.

This metaphor as a whole reflects the instrumental treatment of the narcissist with other people. People in themselves are not important: what is important is some property or quality that the narcissist needs. At the same time, the Prince makes two mistakes and chooses the wrong girl. “The girl cut off her finger, pulled on the shoe with difficulty, bit her lips in pain and went out to the prince. And he took her as his bride, put her on a horse and left with her. and V. Grimm].

In order to become the wife of the Prince, the girls are ready to mutilate themselves - how it is similar to the modern situation with plastic surgery and endless improvement in appearance in order to meet the requirements of a high-status man. It is a pity that not everyone remembers that the Prince notices the deception and returns the girls to their parents.

On the other hand, Cinderella also gave the Prince a difficult task. After all, at the meeting she was in the mask of the Princess. We dare to assume that after the idealization of Cinderella by the Prince, there will be a depreciation of her according to the scenario typical for Narcissus.

Thus, the real meeting of Cinderella and the Prince in the fairy tale did not take place ... The meeting is the contact of two people “without masks”, with their living interests, sorrows and dreams, with their imperfection and the search for happiness ... Mask-role behavior is always protective. and is intended to hide the unacceptable, rejected or shameful aspects of one's own self. But thanks to this completion of the story, a rich field for reader fantasies remains.

It is important to remember that the collective unconscious reflects various aspects of being, and D. Samoilov's poems about an aging Cinderella sewing a shoe for herself are also part of reality. Sad as it may be to admit, but without a deep reconstruction of one’s own Self, without integrating the images of the Stepmother and the Fairy into one consistent construct of “a good enough mother” (D. Winnicott), Cinderella will join the ranks of dreamers, victims of domestic violence with a high level of claims and a low level of self-realization.

Her chance is in restoring the aggressive part of her Self to create security; in the return of real, and not superficial and shallow sensitivity; in the transition from fantasies and dreams to reliance on reality; in the integration of emotional-figurative "right hemisphere" and detailed, linear, logical "left hemisphere" thinking.

Our life is multifaceted and changeable. Each of us has the opportunity to change for the better if we are ready to realize, develop and move forward. And a fairy tale, reflecting only part of the aspects of our life, contains various lessons that are better to be learned when we can still do it, and not when it is already too late ...

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