Self-esteem and self-esteem: meaning in psychology. Self esteem - what is it?

How a person treats himself depends on his relationship with other people and well-being in life. If he does not respect and appreciate himself, then the people around him will not do it. Lack of confidence, constant control of one's actions can be called indicators of a lack of self-esteem and self-esteem in relation to oneself. This leads to rejection of one's emotions, disruption of harmonious contact with other people, disappointment and dissatisfaction in oneself and one's actions. Can cause depression and mental disorders.

Why is there no self respect?

To have self-respect means to accept yourself as a significant person. Self-respect gives inner peace and confidence. An important role in the development of self-respect and self-love is played by proper education, because self-esteem is formed from childhood. For example, incorrect phrases: "You must be a good boy (good girl)" or "You will be punished until you understand your unworthy act" lead to an incorrect model of adult behavior. From childhood, a person feels himself an unworthy person. Self-loathing is also possible. You can not say to the child and such phrases:

  • you will not make it;
  • this occupation is beyond your power;
  • he/she will do better;
  • do something else;
  • you are not strong enough for that.

Examples of such upbringing lead to a lack of aspirations and self-doubt. A person will sacrifice his own interests for the benefit of others, and he himself will not be able to achieve goals or set them for himself. He will have to waste a lot of energy in vain and constantly feel dissatisfied.

If you are faced with comparing yourself with other children from childhood, a sense of self-worth will never appear. Self-esteem will be underestimated, and the chances of a successful life are reduced to zero. The child needs to be explained that he is able to cope with everything if he wants to. That there is nothing that he has not learned.

Self-confidence, healthy self-esteem, the absence of the need to prove anything to anyone and the ability to calculate one's strengths will certainly form self-respect. When a person feels like a person, he will not allow himself unworthy behavior and disrespect for himself and his interests.

The self-sufficient person is

Low self-esteem in women

A woman's self-esteem wakes up when she begins to understand and appreciate her desires. Many mothers and wives are so absorbed in caring for the family that they do not leave time for themselves and their interests at all. They believe that an unprepared dinner or an untidy apartment will be the verdict of a bad hostess. There is a feeling of guilt, depressed mood and dissatisfaction with oneself. A woman must understand that she is not omnipotent, and she can have her own desires. You can't please everyone.

Without love for herself and her needs, she will not be happy and will not make others happy. The atmosphere in the family and the desire of the husband to return home depend on the good mood of the mistress of the house. The world will not collapse if a woman devotes a little time to herself. If you want a cake or chocolates - you need to please yourself with something sweet. The main thing is not to feel guilty about extra calories, because they are easy to lose by walking to the store for shopping.

A woman with signs of her own dignity has this behavior:

  1. 1. She is not shy about asking men for help. There will definitely be someone who will help her out of this situation.
  2. 2. She strives to fulfill her desires. Do not hesitate to talk about them.
  3. 3. Her inner world is filled with love and harmony.
  4. 4. Wants and tries to look good. Spends money on cosmetics, salons and new clothes. She does this not because everyone else does it, but because she wants to.
  5. 5. Doesn't do anything against his will.

To some, this will seem like a manifestation of selfishness, but one's own ego plays a minor role in this. This is respect and love for yourself, the desire to live life the way you want. A self-respecting woman never runs after a man and does not beg for love. She chooses to whom to respond to feelings and which fan is the most worthy. If a man treats her badly, she will not be in a relationship with him. Having chosen a worthy woman, she will devote her life to him, without limiting herself and without losing self-esteem. A self-respecting lady is filled with love and is able to fill her beloved with strength and energy, supporting him in all endeavors.

woman's wisdom

A man with dignity

Male self-esteem lies in inner strength, self-respect, acceptance of oneself and one's desires. A man who respects himself will not prove anything to anyone. He does not need someone else's approval and it is quite difficult to offend him. But he will always take into account the opinion of another person, if he considers it useful for himself. Believes that self-respect should be based on equality. He does not infringe on the interests of others for the sake of indulging his own whims. He believes in himself and tries to give himself and his loved ones a decent life.

A self-respecting man does not engage in narcissism and does not behave like a capricious and infantile boy. Such a person knows how to make plans and foresee options for the development of events. Under any circumstances, he does not lose his composure. He has a cold mind and a warm heart. Adequately relates to his mistakes and does not make a tragedy out of it. A man understands that he is not a superhero, he has the right to make mistakes, and he needs rest.

A man who respects himself does not humiliate himself and does not humiliate others. He does not compare himself with anyone and does not allow people to do this. He does not admire or praise anyone, considering this an empty occupation. Trying to maintain his own dignity, he will never hurt the feelings of others. He knows how to distinguish vital issues from unprincipled ones, and when faced with other people's interests, he remains firm and calm. He does not suffer from pettiness and likes to take the initiative, if he is sure that he will enjoy it.

In relations with a woman, she also behaves with dignity, respects her beloved and listens to her desires. Protects and cares for her, always comes to the rescue and serves as a reliable support.

abusive relationships

How to raise self-esteem?

In psychology, self-esteem is directly related to the attitude towards oneself. . How much a person loves himself, so he feels himself. To gain self-respect, you need to work on yourself and know the limits of your capabilities. Build healthy assertiveness and learn to refuse. In order to raise self-esteem, you must:

  1. 1. Know your strengths.
  2. 2. Strive for goals without relying on the opinions of others.
  3. 3. Take it easy on the shortcomings and continue to develop.
  4. 4. Remember victories for the sake of building self-respect.
  5. 5. Do not criticize yourself, but draw conclusions and calmly analyze the mistakes made.
  6. 6. Be able to praise and cheer yourself up.
  7. 7. Don't compare yourself to others and keep your individuality.

Healthy self-confidence does not destroy relationships with other people and helps in life to achieve respect, prosperity and a high position in society.

To raise self-esteem, you need to learn how to defend your opinion, follow desires and goals. Do not be afraid of obstacles, because they bring experience and make you stronger. Believe in your abilities and strengths, but do not refuse help. Friends and relatives will support if they love, appreciate and respect. It is better to stay away from ill-wishers, they undermine self-confidence, being envious and afraid of someone else's success.

Think about the meaning of the word "dignity." This is what every person has before being evaluated in one way or another from different possible points of view.

Dignity is a special moral and value category that determines respect and self-respect. This is one of the inalienable and non-transferable intangible benefits that belong to a person from birth (Article 150 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation). Self-esteem is not directly related to the results of his activities.

Human life is the greatest value, it follows that everyone has dignity, even if he does not know about it. The concept of "dignity" is related to the concept of "honor", but they are not the same thing. Honor is an assessment of the moral and ethical qualities of a person by others. Honor can be deprived (for example, tearing off shoulder straps by military authorities, breaking swords over the head of representatives of the nobility and other similar acts). A person cannot be deprived of dignity.

Actions that degrade the dignity of a person (insult, slander) can be qualified as an administrative offense or even a criminal offense.

Self-esteem is one of the necessary and normal personality traits. We can say that this is the quality of the human soul.

As you know, personality is determined by heredity, environment and upbringing. So, self-respect and self-esteem do not arise in a person by themselves. These qualities need to be nurtured. Moral people with these qualities, first of all, know how to respect others.

In general, the education of self-esteem is a necessary component of the education of a moral person. This must be taught and taught from childhood.

At the same time, one must understand that pride, self-respect and self-esteem are parts of the natural moral core of a person, which has nothing to do with a sense of self-worth. Self-importance is ephemeral, anyone who has ever been in really difficult circumstances for a sufficient amount of time understands this. A person with a normally developed self-esteem is not afraid to get into a stupid situation and is not afraid to be funny. He can always apologize to others for his erroneous actions, without experiencing a sense of damage in relation to his own person.

How to develop self-esteem?

This is not an easy task, but the answer to this question is not difficult. It is necessary that a person realizes himself as a person, so that he can look at himself from the outside, that is, he can understand how others see him. Of course, a person receives all this in one way or another in the process of his upbringing in human society.

Sometimes it happens that children at a certain period of their development try to compensate for the lack of self-esteem by striving for some formal achievements (good grades, exemplary behavior). It does not at all follow from this that such children do not have complex internal problems. By the way, good grades and behavior are not sufficient criteria for assessing the morality of a person. This should be understood by everyone who is professionally engaged in pedagogy in one way or another. Self-esteem develops on the basis of copying patterns of behavior, as a result of the influence of others.

How to maintain self-esteem?

To do this, you just need to remain a moral person, that is, to act with people according to conscience, in accordance with universal moral concepts.

Perhaps no topic causes so many conflicting opinions and disputes as the dignity of man. In fact, this concept denotes the subjective attitude of the individual to himself. For many, in order to grow great self-respect, you must first reach extraordinary heights in life. People who have great demands on their personality often suffer from imaginary shortcomings and strive to improve themselves in many ways.

The formation of human dignity begins in childhood and continues through adolescence and adulthood. Human dignity is made up of many factors that can have a powerful impact on the self-esteem of the individual. In a number of cases, there is the fact that how much attention was paid to her in childhood. If parents spend a lot of time with the child, are interested in his mood, success, then gradually an awareness of his importance is formed in him. A mature sense of dignity is usually expressed in the desire to follow a given direction in life, to embody individual plans and dreams. Dignity has nothing to do with permissiveness.

Honor and dignity of a person

Honor and dignity are inalienable values ​​of every self-respecting person. Several decades ago, the word "honor" was associated with the concepts of honesty and the ability to be sincere to the end. Today it has practically not changed and denotes the desire of a person to achieve his goals in a pure way through fruitful work on himself. An honest person acts with dignity towards himself and others, he will certainly apologize if he causes significant or minor inconvenience to others.

Dignity correlates with the concepts of self-importance and . In many situations, life itself often requires from the individual a great ability to maintain inner freedom and be independent. Honor and dignity are important components of an adequate perception of reality. When a person can look to the future with confidence, accepts his achievements that are available at this point in time, he becomes truly independent and happy. If there were no concepts of honor and dignity, it would be impossible to accept oneself as a person, self-realization. Dignity is the path to a fulfilling life. Without dignity, no development is possible.

Human Dignity and Freedom

How is dignity related to freedom? Is it possible to maintain dignity, being a dependent, driven person? Life practice shows that it is not. If a person is so insecure that he allows others to control his own life, he can hardly be called complete and happy ( read about). But what does freedom mean and why is a person sometimes ready to fight for it not for life, but for death?

Freedom has always been recognized as the main value of the individual. Without it, it is impossible to grow dignity to a sufficient degree. If there were no freedom, all the achievements that a person has would ultimately be in vain. Everything we achieve, we do in order to develop our own individuality, to express ourselves to the fullest. And having dignity will help a lot here. Someone at first is driven by a desire to gain the respect of others, others begin to be proud of themselves ( read about). Be that as it may, the feeling of having freedom helps to develop dignity, to form self-confidence. In fact, it is impossible to act productively without awareness of one's own individuality. You cannot become happy for another or by realizing other people's dreams, and not your goals.

What situations call for dignity?

Sometimes in life you have to act quickly without thinking about the end result. No one can exclude the occurrence of unpleasant moments. In some cases, the presence of dignity can help to feel better, to cope with serious difficulties.

  • An undeserved insult. When a person experiences an internal feeling of resentment, his whole being shrinks from the infringement of his own dignity. There is a feeling that you were offended undeservedly, in vain. This state is accompanied by strong indignation and often a desire to take revenge on the offender. There may be a state of internal devastation, fear, apathy, the appearance of anxiety, sleep disturbance. At the same time, honor and dignity also suffer and undergo significant changes. The dignity of the individual, for the most part, begins to waver. Being in a sense of resentment, it is impossible to feel whole. There is a feeling that the soul has been trampled on, often a person withdraws into himself and for some time refuses to communicate.
  • Advocacy of interests. In the case when it is required to stand up for oneself, to defend one's interests, dignity develops to a greater extent than in other cases. Passing through difficulties tempers the character, contributes to the formation of inner strength, will. Here the theme of honor and dignity comes to the fore. The spoken words mean a lot, so they are given special attention. When conducting a conversation with an opponent, it is extremely important not to return insult to insult and be sincere to the end.
  • Conflicts within the team. Where, if not in the team most of the time is the individual? Often in this group of people there is a clash of interests, views, opinions. It will take great willpower and self-confidence to overcome significant ones every day, to seek compromises. The development of dignity will necessarily occur when a person learns to separate his own interests from public ones. It is necessary to develop your own strategy of behavior in conflict situations. This can take a lot of time. But having your own dignity is worth it!

How to develop self-esteem?

How much we value ourselves read about) often depends on the attitude of others around us. Why is this happening? The fact is that when communicating with different categories of people, we form our opinion about them based on our own impressions, and they do the same with respect to us. If a person projects inner stiffness, uncertainty into the external space, then those around him will subconsciously perceive this. It is known that one who does not love and does not value himself should not expect respect and recognition from others. Dignity must be preserved in any situation precisely because it allows you to feel significant and important. Without this feeling, a person will never dare to set high goals and strive to achieve them. Honor and dignity are the main components of any advancement, personal growth and success in general. The tips below will help build your sense of dignity. It is necessary to understand that the degree of its development depends directly on the person's sense of self, on how ready he is for significant changes in his life. Self-esteem, as a rule, is formed through systematic constructive work on oneself, recognition of one's uniqueness.

Find your own personality

If a person does not treat himself with due attention and respect, perhaps he is not fully aware of his merits. Only having thoroughly studied your own personality, you can begin to realize the motives of your actions, fight fears, and prevent disappointments.

Are you sure that you are doing your job in life? Does the current position, career growth correspond to your ambitions, desires, aspirations? If not, then there is a serious need to think about it. Dignity is a necessary and necessary component that helps to cope with many difficulties, to realize one's uniqueness and uniqueness. Nothing is capable of creating such powerful internal protection for a person as honor and dignity. How a person treats himself directly depends on the attitude of the people around him. The formation of one's own individual view of things helps to feel significant, to take an important place in society.

Professional self-improvement

At some point in life, each of us chooses his own professional path. This choice is dictated by both the internal needs of the individual and social expectations. The theme of honor and dignity is directly related to him. If a person, due to some circumstances, cannot take place in one or another area, then he will always feel his own worthlessness and emptiness. There is nothing to compensate for the gap in education. It is extremely important for a person to feel significant, to show his individual abilities and express himself in this or that activity. The dignity of the individual can be brought up through constant painstaking work on oneself.

Constant self-education

Even a professional in his field from time to time feels the need to update his knowledge, to get new ones. Self-education is an integral part of the life of any person for whom a career and growth in the profession is of significant interest. The honor and dignity of a person are largely determined by the extent to which she was able to take place in her activities. Improving his skills, a person moves forward, strives to improve his condition, necessarily works on his character ( read about).

The dignity of a person in this sphere of life can either be seriously affected or rise to unprecedented heights. If a person does not think about his dignity, then, most likely, serious problems in the profession will begin over time.

Avoidance of unpleasant society

It has long been noticed that being among people who can offend or humiliate negatively affects the formation of personality. If a person is surrounded by people who, in word or deed, will interfere with his self-realization, then soon he will feel unnecessary, devastated and depressed. Some individuals may inadvertently offend the dignity of a person, which causes the latter to feel a strong sense of resentment. Usually those people who offend others are those who themselves do not possess self-esteem. They take short-term joy in humiliating others, depriving them of their inner strength and sense of balance. Everyone should take care of themselves and avoid society, which can hurt dignity. Remember, we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

Thus, human dignity is an extremely important and significant topic that causes numerous disputes and rumors in society. If the concept of dignity did not exist, there would be no personality itself. Any personal growth and self-development is impossible without awareness of one's own value and significance. Dignity belongs to the category that is responsible for success and happiness.

The character of a person is a set of moral categories and the rules and norms of behavior associated with them. One of the main, pivotal ones are self-respect and feeling. They determine how self-sufficient and independent a person is, whether he is subject to outside influences, including bad ones, whether he can resist his own negative impulses and instincts. Inner freedom, spiritual growth are also associated with this concept.

Self-esteem is a person's awareness of their own importance and adherence to a certain ethics of behavior based on self-esteem. On the one hand, this moral category belongs to the category of universal and individual. On the other hand, in different eras and for representatives of different social groups, there were their own concepts of honor and personal dignity. And what was considered humiliating and unacceptable for one time, in another, on the contrary, was perceived as a necessary and even obligatory norm.

Self-esteem is not innate. A person has to shape it and educate it in himself, often throughout his life. It is associated with such as self-confidence. We cannot be universal, equally good in absolutely everyone, or endowed with all possible talents at once. As a rule, nature in this regard uses an individual approach, so someone turns out to be an excellent mathematician, someone sings or writes excellent poetry, successfully heals the sick or creates a new super-smart technique. And it would be foolish for an individual and the people around him to demand that, for example, a good, competent accountant write novels at the level of Leo Tolstoy. Each person must learn to accept himself as he was created by nature, to respect in himself those abilities that he has, to which he is inclined. Such an approach will become the first link in the chain of self-education, a platform on which self-esteem will be formed.

Considering that we all come from childhood and it is there that all the most important qualities of the human personality are laid down, then adults should be especially attentive and respectful to the child, combine reasonable, objective rigor with sincere benevolence and interest in his spiritual and mental needs and needs. For example, if a girl dances with pleasure, is plastic and musical, she can be enrolled in a dance studio or a rhythmic gymnastics section, and if a boy has a clear penchant for technology, then a mathematical circle, educational games - just what will clearly benefit him. Those. if any abilities that are clearly traced in a small person will find support, will be cultivated and encouraged, then in adulthood this person will be able to hold on firmly and confidently, and his self-esteem will have a very real basis. After all, success in one sphere of being will entail faith in one's own strengths in other matters and spheres.

Encouragement of the child should be reasonable. Along with moral support, it is necessary to cultivate endurance, self-discipline, and resistance to weaknesses. This is also one of the most important moments when a sense of dignity is formed.

Psychologists have long proven that a person with low self-esteem also has a low coefficient of self-esteem. There are many effective methods for lifting them, but the most important thing at the beginning of the journey is for a person to realize that it is no longer possible to live like this, it is necessary to change oneself, one's lifestyle and behavior. Understanding this fact as an urgent need is the first impetus on the path to correcting your flawed "I". And the second step is programming yourself for success. Then the self-esteem will begin. A person who is mature in this regard will demand proper behavior from himself and from those around him, will not allow himself unsightly actions, will try to meet high ideals and standards with his appearance and internal state.