It often happens that it seems that life has lost its meaning. There is no goal, there is no mood, hands drop. As if everything stopped around and froze ... How to get out of this state? Let's find out how to deal with it.

First you need to understand yourself

What needs to be done:

1. Accept yourself. There are no perfect people. We all have fears and we need to get rid of them. Without assessing the situation in which you find yourself, it is impossible to find ways to solve it.
2. Stop deceiving yourself. For example, I can’t do fitness from tomorrow due to a difficult period in my life, which will only aggravate the situation. But everything looks different. I can't exercise because I'm lazy. Self-deception interferes with personal growth and development.
3. Visualize your problem. We just take paper and a pen and write everything on a sheet. You can highlight the pros and cons, compare them. Look at the situation from the outside, and the problem will no longer seem so terrible and hopeless.
4. Cut off the ends from the past. Everyone in life had situations for which they had to blush. And these memories pop up and do not allow to live in peace. No matter how difficult it is, look back, restore the events in stages, draw conclusions and never return to this again.

You need to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, get rid of inner anxiety.

And yet, how to understand what you want from life?

Need a goal

If there is no guiding star, there is nowhere to move. We will stand still. It is important because:

1. Gives clarity. How to understand what you want if there is no main goal? There is no dream. You can work for decades doing something you don't like, while it will seem that you are doing so much, but in the end in vain. It is the goal that helps to help determine, formulate hidden desires. And then all the forces and energy you will direct to its implementation.
2. Pushes forward. The goal reflects our desires, which are the motivator. It is the engine that constantly keeps us moving, even in difficult situations.
3. Focuses attention. How to understand who you want to become in life, when all the efforts and time are wasted? You can endlessly work on something that does not play any role for you, marking time in one place. Until there is a clear formulation of what you want, nothing will change. When a goal appears, we focus our attention on it and achieve the goal.
4. Makes you responsible. Tasks encourage commitment without placing it on someone else's shoulders. Now we do not just want something, but we must act.
5. Helps you get better. Goals in life reveal potential, indicate new horizons, create conditions that make you give more than one hundred percent, help you overcome difficulties.
6. Make life better and better. And all because you will become a different person - purposeful, collected, gain new knowledge and invaluable life experience, learn to overcome difficulties and win. Your outlook will change, you will look at the world with different eyes.

If you want to become an optimist and understand life, set goals, achieve your goals. Now let's move from theory to practice. Let's look at seven powerful techniques that will help in this matter.

Technique 1: "Make a list of 101 wishes"

It will seem difficult at first and it will take a long time, but it is worth it. Goals should be clearly stated: if you want a car, indicate not only the brand, but also the year of manufacture and color. Dreaming of a new job? Describe what type of work you will be engaged in, indicate the desired salary.

Second Technique: “Learning to See the Goal Clearly”

To understand the question of how to understand what you want from life, you need to develop inner vision, which will help you look into the subconscious and get real dreams from there. This technique will teach you to focus not on the means and methods by which the goal will be achieved, but on the desires themselves, to distinguish them from imaginary ones. While you should not think about the realization of the goal, the mind will independently find ways to fulfill it.

So, in order to understand what you want from life, do not be lazy, do not stop halfway. We move on. The task is clear, let's get to work.

You need to relax. You can turn on calm music, take a few deep breaths. You need to close your eyes and imagine the future in each of the areas of your life in the form of pictures, vivid images. For example:

• Family, love relationships.
• Relatives and friends.
• Place of residence (apartment, house).
• The interior of the dwelling and other property.
• Car or other vehicles (helicopter, snowmobile, yacht).
• Image (clothing, jewelry, accessories).
• Work, career.
• Financial condition.
• Personal achievements (spiritual growth).
• Body, health.
• Rest and free time.
• position in society.

After the end of the figurative representation, it is necessary to describe in detail all the pictures for each area.

Technique Three: “Imagine Your Perfect Day”

How to understand what you want from life, if you exist in a monotonous everyday dullness that does not bring joy? Give yourself pleasure and dream about how you wake up and with whom. What will be the awakening and attitude of the person who will be next to you? Imagine exercising, swimming in the pool. Then colorfully picture a rich breakfast in your imagination. Imagine where you will work and who, what will be your income. Will you travel in your own car or with a driver? How will you spend the evening - with your family, in the gym, in a restaurant? You need to think through all the smallest details of your ideal day.

Fourth Technique: "Articulate Desires"

The most effective exercise. It is better to do with a partner, you can take turns. Become facing each other. The one who will be the first to answer the questions needs to relax and close his eyes. Another starts to say:

• Recall a situation that completely liberated and relaxed you. (Pause).
• Do not hold back, mentally return to it and feel the same emotions. (Pause).
• Now try to connect in your thoughts with a part of yourself that knows what you really want, if you discard all the barriers that limit you: a sense of fear, anxiety, anxiety. (Pause).
• Immerse yourself in yourself, climb into the hidden corners of your soul and answer the question of what you want from life. At this point, it is necessary to write down the expressed desires. And so - for fifteen minutes.

The answers given at the final stage of the training will be the most truthful. It remains only to make a promise to yourself that you will fulfill everything.

Fifth Technique: "Let go of the imagination"

It is necessary to answer in writing many questions from all areas of your life. For example:

• What do you want most from life?
• What would you like to have (car, clothes, jewelry, etc.).
• What brings you satisfaction in relationships with a loved one, family, relatives?
• Who are you jealous of and why?
• Want to sleep more?

In this vein, you need to answer questions that will stimulate subsequent reflection and help you figure out how to understand what you want from life.

Technique Six: "Visualization"

Twice a day imagine your dreams, visualize the achievements, as if they have already come true. For example: "I bought (la) an apartment in the city center."

It often happens that a person goes to the same job for decades, after which he sees nothing - only life, family and everything in a circle. But at some point he stopped and realized that he wanted a different life. And here you need to start with a reassessment of yourself. If you want to understand life, then stop feeling sorry for yourself, torturing and tormenting yourself. You need to look for a target.

And the last, seventh technique: "Create a dream"

It is essentially the same visualization. If you are dreaming of a house, find a picture of the maximum similarity on the Internet, print it out and paste it into an album or frame it. And look at it every day.

We looked at practical exercises, but there are also many tests “How to understand what you want from life?”, Which will also help you determine the goal.

Let's turn to the great classic Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

He lived only 44 years, and wrote more than 900 works. Many have become classics of world culture, and sayings - aphorisms. The meaning of one of them, concerning our topic: if you want to become an optimist and be able to understand life, you should not believe what they write and say, turn on observation and delve into it yourself.

Thus, the topic "If you want to understand life ..." Chekhov also touched upon.

We found the target, but it doesn't work. What to do in this case?

Now it’s clear: in order to determine your desires, you need a main goal and subgoals to achieve it. And it would seem that you are doing everything right, moving forward, but for some reason things start to go wrong, although it seems ideal.

It immediately comes to mind that there was an erroneous statement of the problem. But in fact, everything is absolutely not so, it's just that what we think is not our true desire. Many people do not know how to listen to the subconscious.

Consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg. And the rest of the hidden block is the subconscious. So, thanks to the first one, we make decisions, dream, build life paths. But it is influenced by other external factors, so the true desire remains veiled.

It happens that there is a goal, motivation and actions, but all of a sudden everything starts to go wrong, collapses. This is the work of the subconscious. Let's say you were invited to an important business meeting related to business, but you lose your business card and can't get to it. Psychologists explain this situation by the fact that nothing happens by chance in life. In fact, it turns out that deep down inside you simply did not want and were afraid of this meeting.

The subconscious gives us clues through dreams, sensations and other signs, but they need to be able to decipher. And only when we learn to control our subconscious, will we begin to make really right decisions.

To understand what you want, you need to learn to listen to the subconscious, which is the key to our life, potential and talent. The subconscious mind makes up 90% of our psyche. It stores all knowledge and experience, fixes most of the installation programs.

How to choose the right solution?

And how do you know what you want to do in life? You need to calm down, relax, ask a question and just observe yourself and the world around you. If there are no joyful emotions, a feeling of lightness, and, worse, discomfort has appeared, and at the same time external circumstances are against you, the idea should be abandoned.

And remember: you can only fight for happiness if external factors influence you and your loved ones, and banging your forehead against the wall next to the open door is not happiness, or it is not yours.

Why do we not achieve such success that would please and inspire us? Often the point is that we do not strive for what we really want, we choose goals and plans that the world around us and other people dictate to us, and not our own values, interests and desires. In Conquering Your Fear, Mandy Holgate provides an exercise to help you identify your true dreams and strategies for getting started on your path.

Do you want a Ferrari?

I often ask listeners: "Who in this room wants to have a Ferrari?" What response do you think I'm getting? Forest of hands? Several voices: "Yes, let's get her here!"? What answer do you expect?

In my practice, usually one or two people raise their hand. And then I ask these few daredevils who bravely wave their hand near their ear: “If you really want a Ferrari, then why are you so hesitant to admit it? Do not stretch your hand to the ceiling, do not jump on a chair, as in the first grade, when you know the answer and want the teacher to ask you specifically?

You see, when you really want a Ferrari, it's a real passion - an inner stimulus that you feel in every cell. Whenever you hear a coveted name or see a photo of your dream car, you are filled with excitement and curiosity.

But not once, when I gave this example, did I see such excitement, such passion, such tension of feelings among those who supposedly dream of a Ferrari, which does not allow them to sit still: “I will now burst from love at first sight, if I don’t allowed to speak in the same nanosecond!”

This is what true passion looks like. You need to understand what your goals and inner drives are and gain the confidence to be yourself without pretending. Find out what makes you feel so full of life that you, before reading this phrase, notice how your heart beats faster, your lips open in a smile, and you begin to fantasize about the results. Here is the passion. Here is the goal. But too often we hide what we really want and who we are for the sake of others. And therefore we achieve only those results that others want from us.

Author's exercise "My values"

One day in a coaching session, the client, after completing one of the exercises below, found out to her horror that her hobby was higher on her priority list than her husband. And it was not as clear cut as it seems. Together, we found out that she did nothing for the sake of what really mattered to her: she did not pay enough attention to this important hobby for herself, she constantly ignored and suppressed the internal stimuli that helped her to feel the fullness of life. But when she realized what values ​​​​are significant to her, she was able to change something - and noticed significant improvements in all areas of her life. She did not make a choice between her husband and her hobby. And of course, her priority list didn't mean she didn't love her husband. But it was important for her to realize the values ​​that make up her personality, and to understand: ignoring them, she does not feel happy, alive, and this, in turn, affects many other aspects of her life and work.

1. List everything that is important to you in life.

This list will not be shown to anyone. You don't have to explain your choice. If you include children in this list, but not a husband (or wife), that's your business, and no one will judge you for it. Then choose ten items from the written. Below I give my list - you can take it as a sample. Not necessarily your list will be similar - write about what you want.

For example, career, travel, family, success, friends, money, hobbies, culture, work, recreation, sports, health, physical activity, socialization, finance, writing, gardening, reading, music are important to me.

Draw such a sign and write your points in each line of the first column - in any order:

Table from the book

2. Compare these points with each other in pairs.

For example, if you had to choose, would you be able to do without family or vacation? If you could not give up the family, then the family scores one point and the rest scores zero. Could you do without family or entertainment? If you can't do without entertainment, then entertainment gets one point, and the family gets zero. This does not mean that something is wrong with your family or with yourself. Don't you dare blame yourself. This list will not need to be shown to anyone, you compile it for yourself and only for yourself in order to see what is important to you in life. If you give a family a zero point, it does not mean that it is unimportant to you. You simply determine what place it occupies in your system of priorities. So remember: no guilt, just honesty. Listen to your intuition and write the pure truth!

3. Work through the entire column in this way, comparing the first item with the third, fourth, and so on.

I compare family and entertainment, family and work, family and helping others, and you have your own list. Repeat for each item.

You will end up with a board that looks like this. Table from the book

4. Sum the scores for each item.

This information will help you understand what your priorities are. Let's say in our example the top values ​​are family, fun and helping others, because family scores nine points, entertainment scores eight, and helping others scores seven.

It's important to know your top ten values ​​in life, but it's even more important to identify the top three that have the most impact on your life. In our example, leisure and money each received four points, which means they are not as significant as the first three values. However, they are on the list, and this will help to consciously take them into account in life. You will certainly come across situations where these values ​​will have to be given their due: for example, I want to make a large purchase and I am ready to work hard for this. But let's not forget about the rest!

Yes, it's scary to admit: "These are my priorities." But you have to start somewhere, right? Have you noticed that some people walk around with dull eyes, as if a light bulb has burned out inside them, while others seem to glow from the inside, shine and are full of life? Often this exercise brings unexpected discoveries. A person discovers that what he considered the main value in his life is not so high on his list of priorities. Realizing this, you get the opportunity to live a fulfilling life.

motives

If you want to realize your wildest goals and dreams, learn to go against the flow. You will need to consider other people's opinions. In general, you will experience fear. But positive actions find a positive response. Only inertia and inaction allow fear to grow and worsen.

You must know your values, know what inspires you and why.

And yet, fear can be a decisive factor that prevents you from acting in order to get the desired result, which is internally valuable to you. To motivate yourself to take the necessary action, look at your motives. If you don't live up to your values, what are you agreeing to? Ask yourself these important questions:

• If I don't understand who I am and don't feel ready to stand up for it and be myself, then what am I agreeing to?
• If I deviate from my nature and from my values, what am I agreeing to in this case?

Remember the exercise "My Values". What values ​​are important to you? What are you willing to do without? What are you willing to sacrifice? Ask yourself:

• If I continue to deviate from my values, how will this affect my life?
• How will this affect my loved ones?

Yes, deciding to realize your potential can be scary. But isn't it scarier to hide your true nature? Remember how a person who really wants a Ferrari feels? That's what you should feel - the deepest inner need to know the answers to these questions.

For many people, “having what you want” is synonymous with happiness. But not everyone thinks about what they really need in life.

They continue to plow at the job they hate and waste two-thirds of their life, believing that they want money and career growth. And how is it in reality?

open the door to fantasy

Psychologists say that modern society is afraid of success, although it is aimed at it. People are afraid to become happy and to be realized contrary to the typical "karma of losers."

And the world has a severe influence on our aspirations and impulses. Friends say “we need to get married”, parents want to become successful, rich and respected.

But it is very important to stop, discard everything superficial and confess your deepest, true dreams..

A child of five years old knows for sure that he wants to become a cook or a ballerina - not for the sake of the recognition of the crowd, but for self-expression. A tired mother of three boys dreams of getting enough sleep, relaxing in a sanatorium and listening to the coastal silence.

Not all modern women are careerists and feminists by nature: somewhere in the core of their souls they yearn to start a family and grow flowers in the front garden.

Taste life

The best teacher is your own experience. There is only one way to understand what you need in life - to taste the most different things and draw conclusions.

So, my neighbor all her life dreamed of traveling the world. But after three food poisonings in North Africa, two muggings in Europe, and an encounter with a poisonous frog in Bali, she has realized that she loves her safe cottage - and never shows her nose from there again.

Understanding exactly what you truly desire helps you find your calling.

When you act on your true impulses, you fill your life with emotional comfort and harmony, and you achieve success faster.

To understand what you need in life, you have to become a notorious egoist. It's like tasting cheeses or delicacies. Even if everyone says that the dish is amazing, you can’t deceive the body. He knows exactly if he likes it or not.

You do not dare to eat something that makes you internally sick? You also need to evaluate work, hobbies and relationships.

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Make a pyramid of priorities. What will be higher - family or career, self-improvement or financial stability, self-expression or spiritual growth.

In the first column, indicate what makes you feel euphoric. What events and actions cause a storm of positive emotions: meeting with friends, business trips to other cities, practicing a foreign language in a foreign environment, making music, driving a car, repairing a house, reading a class book, working with your own hands, raising a crumb?

The second column is for burdensome, categorically unpleasant moments.. Parent-teacher conferences, queues at the clinic, humiliation from superiors, cold calls, direct sales, working on your feet, contacts with a lot of people...

Act on the contrary: if in the second block you wrote “an eight-hour working day in a stuffy office”, then freelancing and a free schedule are closer to your body.

In the third column, describe something without which you do not feel comfortable in life, your personal must have for universal happiness.

For example, “silence in the morning hours”, “lack of contact with strangers”, “silent mobile phone”, “beautiful view from the window”, “two full days off with the family”.

And although everyone writes in the resume about the mythical stress resistance, nervous strain is of little use to anyone.

What is needed in life and what is not

Think about the situation in which everything from the third column will accompany you, the maximum from the first and the minimum from the second.

Even if such a mix seems fantastic to you, believe that it is possible.

Another one motivational technique- imagine that you have several lives, about five or six.

Please note that the idea is not to change something in the current fate. You are offered other versions of yourself, additional ones.

What could hypothetically do fantastic clones? Suddenly, one would become a fashion designer, and the second - an interior designer, the third would certainly take care of the garden and build a house, and the fourth would buy a yacht and go on a cruise.

An amazing fact: if a person imagines himself truly happy, he is usually far from the image of Scrooge McDuck diving into gold mines.

For many, wealth is an optional condition for inner harmony, and the average income suits the majority.

So is it worth chasing millions if your personal happiness is quiet and simple, without a daily portion of caviar on a saucer, but with your beloved cat at your side.

Since you are reading this article, it means that you do not feel completely happy and want to understand yourself.

Think about what annoys you at the moment. What really infuriates you: low salary, workload, lack of time for hobbies, quarrels with the family, the need to work “for an uncle”?

Some nuances can be corrected even today - it is enough to want. Other problems will require a long and detailed plan.

Set micro goals for yourself and look for ways to achieve them. Travel through this life consciously and fill every day with personal meaning!

Many people go through their lives without even knowing what exactly they want to do. They go to jobs they hate, do projects they hate, and report to the person they hate with all their heart. And they don't even think that things could be different. After all, we have one life, and it is clearly not worth wasting it on disgusting work. Decided to change everything right now? This is excellent, but then you will face the problem of any person. What do you really want to do? It seems that yesterday you understood this very well, but today you are confused. If you can not decide, then we will help you find your destination. Just follow our advice and you will be able to find the best activity for you.

Think about yourself

Have a healthy selfishness. Do not try to help everyone at once, but take care of yourself. How do you decide what is interesting for you in life if you are constantly preoccupied with other people's problems? Forget about those around you for a while. Ask yourself: if you were now completely alone, without friends and family, without a job you hate, and you were not limited in your choice, then what exactly would you like to do. Don't be afraid to be selfish. If you do not put your interests above the public, then no one will.

Don't regret anything

Don't be ashamed to be selfish. This is your life. It is time for you to choose a path that will please you, and not your environment. Don't regret anything. If you constantly regret what you did or didn’t do in the past, then you are just standing still. Don't live in the past. Live for today. Live your future.

Think about what you need the most

We do not always understand what we really need in life. And it's extremely difficult to find out. Just sit down and think about it. What is important to you? A family? Freedom of expression? Financial well-being? You can make a priority list if that helps.

Determine what's bothering you

It is really sensible to decide what you want to do, you can only if nothing will hold you back. If you are upset about something or your head is full of things, then you will never be able to choose sensibly. Plus, find out what exactly annoys you at the moment. Needless to say, office work pisses you off. Think about what aspect of your work gives you concern. Are you annoyed by your boss? What is your schedule? Your position? Or all at once? Now think about how you can change that? Perhaps you are satisfied with the current situation, and changing only a couple of its aspects will make you the happiest person.

Now find out what makes you happy

Pleasure is the key to a happy life. If you enjoy life, then you are not just living your years, but filling them with meaning. Pick a couple of moments in your life when you were truly happy. What gave you pleasure? Travels? Communication with children? Campaign management? When you understand what really makes you happy, it will be easier for you to choose your future path.

Tell everyone around you about your dream

There is no need to hide from family and friends that you have decided to drop everything and go towards your dream. Tell your friends and family about everything. If you share your thoughts, then they will definitely support you in your endeavors and help you as much as possible. You will also get many interesting ideas. After all, one head is good, but two is better.

Get in a good mood

Life does not always go according to the script we have written. There is no need to fall into apathy if something did not work out for you. Instead of mourning and doing nothing, get up and continue with a vengeance. Not immediately, but success will come to you. This is just a small delay, not a complete failure. Do not give up. Just think positive and do what you have dreamed of all your life.

Just don't think that finding your destination is so easy. Many people have been looking for it all their lives. The main thing is not to stop and keep looking. One day, the muse will come down to you and help you find your life's work. Until then, keep trying. Try it without feeling sorry for yourself. Try different professions and occupations. After all, if you don't try it, you'll never know if it's for you or not.

Do you think you have found the perfect job for you?

Everything you need to know to finally understand your true desires. The results may surprise and even shock you.

How to understand what I really want? How do I know what kind of life I want to live? Today, more and more people are asking themselves these questions. And there are good reasons for this. Right?

Again, briefly: these are the people who act like scanners - jumping from fifth to tenth - but in reality they are just trying to drown out boredom.

Real scanners are interested in many things at once, and they want everything at the same time. False scanners jump on the tops, just to occupy their restless mind with something.

From all this intoxication, the fear of not being able to do anything, or making the wrong choice, has settled in the heads of modern people.

How can you do one specific thing when such a temptation is around? How to understand what you want? What if you choose not to? Will you suddenly remain unclaimed? Maybe it was better to go to another institute? Or maybe that dude at the next table in the restaurant has better food? What is better to choose - a used iPhone or a new Galaxy? What if my boyfriend is not my true soulmate? What I want? Etc.

To stop the revolving world, you need to get off this carousel and just stand on the sidelines for a while to recover. Some, unfortunately, do it too radically.

But you can not turn off the knife switch for good, but only switch to neutral mode. You know as well as I do what we are talking about - about meditation, of course!

No need to wrinkle your nose, like swimming - we know. This is usually done by those who tried several times, didn’t make any progress and abandoned the practice to hell.

Meditation is not a Viagra pill that gives an immediate reaction. You have to work on this, and sometimes long enough to feel a noticeable effect.

Judge for yourself, a person has been accumulating a mess for years in his thoughts and desires. And then a kind of half-educated plumber came with only one plunger in his hand and is trying to clean all this blockage at once. Will he get it? Here's the same thing.

Therefore, you need to calm the rushing mind, and a better practice than meditation has not yet been invented for this.

By the way, a very good way to meditate is to focus on the phrase "I want to know what I want." It not only stops the flow of thoughts of various sizes, but also relieves some of the tension and guilt that arise from the fact that sometimes we ourselves do not know what we want.

Don't know what you want? Well, load your subconscious with this question, let it figure it out on its own. And the answer may emerge after a while by itself and most often unexpectedly.

Just do not specifically wait for him and, moreover, be upset if he does not come. Just keep practicing next time. And again, and again... That's how it works.

If you are constantly looking for novelty, trying to escape from fear and boredom, then a peculiar piggy bank of ideas. Barbara Sher also talked about this in her book.

The chip is actually very simple, but effective. You just take on one specific case (a dish in a restaurant, a partner, a used iPhone, and so on) and do it until you get a specific result.

And as soon as an alarm bell rings in your head and a desire to switch to something else appears, then you realize this different, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it into a special box of ideas. You can just write in a notebook and not bother with the box.

The meaning of the action is that you do not accumulate ideas in your head, where it is already crowded from them, but give them a real embodiment, the path is even just on a piece of paper. So you literally “blow off steam” and significantly reduce internal stress.

This tension arises precisely from the fact that we are always afraid that we will not have time to do something important, we are afraid to miss this important thing, and therefore we rush between things, trying to grab them all.

Having written down everything on a piece of paper, we not only give relief to nervous tension, but also become more confident that we will not forget anything now and that we can continue to work calmly.

Fear is the inclination of the soul, convincing it that the desire will not come true.
Rene Descartes

By the way, Barbara also advises writing down on paper all the anxieties, fears, bad feelings and thoughts for any reason. You can have a separate box or notebook for them.

This allows you to safely defuse all that negativity that has settled in your head for a long time and firmly. Consider it a free, but very effective psychotherapy. Then you can burn this notebook. Try it! Very inspiring :)

For those who do not want to study and spend a lot of time on one thing

This is me! Yes. Since childhood, I do not like to do one thing for a long time and study all its subtleties. Probably, this is all because of Aunt Nina's neighbor, the kingdom of heaven to her. She kept saying: Igor is our professor!

And at school I was frankly bored. After all, I'm a professor, and so I know everything, leave me alone.

I remember that even in my favorite radio circle, I almost never completed the assembly of any circuit to the end. I liked to start work, but to finish - fu-fu-fu.

By the way, I also changed a lot of various circles and sections in my childhood.

This is also a certain kind of unfortunate diver, or false scanner. It comes from the inability to learn. This is when in childhood you were either praised too much, or everything was very easy for you at first, and therefore the illusion arose that it would continue to be so.

But as soon as the first difficulties appeared, fear and uncertainty arose, and therefore it was easier to quit this business and do something new.

Can only help here. patience. Patience that will eventually overcome disappointment.

After all, that's what we really fear - disappointment. What if it doesn’t work out, what if something goes wrong, what if they don’t praise, but on the contrary they will mock me, what if I miss something important while I’m busy with something else, and in old age there will be only regret and nothing more?

Patience is a difficult thing. You can't get it in a hurry. You can't force yourself to endure just like that. This is masochism. You need to find something interesting in it that can captivate and smooth out the bitter aftertaste. And that interest can be curiosity.

He who is patient is able to achieve whatever he wants.
Benjamin Franklin

What usually scares you the most when you are afraid of being disappointed? That's right - ignorance. You do not know what you will get as a result and you are afraid of failure in advance.

But what if you turn on curiosity and aim not for a positive result, but for a result in general?

That is, to show interest in the process, and not the result, as such. Just take it and say to yourself: I don’t care that I can’t really achieve anything, but I’ll try to bring this matter to the end and see what the hell will come of all this.

Thus, shift the focus. When you are not confused by the result, but do something for the sake of the process itself (even if at first it doesn’t bother you at all), then gradually and imperceptibly you get involved and begin to notice things that you didn’t even think about before.

It can also be called meditation. In fact, that's what she is. And most importantly - over time, you begin to like it. Process for the sake of process and only.

Have you heard of the flow? This is exactly what it is when you have focused all your attention on the process, even if you are just picking your nose. Many find in this the meaning of life.

Not in nose picking, of course! And in the feeling of the flow. When you are in it, then you absolutely don’t care what exactly you are doing.

So Buddhist monks spend their whole lives slowly waving a hoe in their garden or sweeping the yard and at the same time they are happy, like a hundred Buddhas.

So the writer composes his verses and watches how the lines fall on paper and create a new universe.

So parents watch the growth of their offspring and rejoice simply because they are.

But how much patience you need to apply to all this! Without the necessary interest, this cannot be done in any way.

Interest is what helps to cope with all difficulties.

I wish you find your interest in life. Good luck! And subscribe to our channel in Telegram.

Do you already know what you really want? Write in the comments and tell us how you found your true desires.