ACCURATE SHOT

In Italy, I made a fortune as a rich man, but a calm, peaceful life was not for me.

I longed for new adventures and exploits.

Therefore, I was very happy when I heard that a new war had broken out not far from Italy, the British were fighting the Spaniards. Without a moment's hesitation, I jumped on my horse and rushed to the battlefield.

The Spaniards then besieged the English fortress of Gibraltar, I immediately made my way to the besieged.

The general who commanded the fortress was a good friend of mine. He received me with open arms and began to show me the fortifications he had erected, as he knew that I could give him practical and useful advice.

Standing on the wall of Gibraltar, I saw through a telescope that the Spaniards were pointing the muzzle of their cannon exactly at the place where we both stood.

Without a moment's hesitation, I ordered that a huge cannon be placed on this very spot.

- What for? the general asked.

- You will see! I replied.

As soon as the cannon was rolled up to me, I directed its muzzle straight into the muzzle of the enemy's cannon, and when the Spanish gunner brought a fuse to his cannon, I loudly commanded:

Both guns fired at the same moment.

What I expected happened: at the point I had planned, two cannonballs - ours and the enemy's - collided with a terrifying force, and the enemy's cannonball flew back.

Imagine: it flew back to the Spaniards.

It tore off the head of a Spanish gunner and sixteen Spanish soldiers.

It knocked down the masts of three ships that were in the Spanish harbor, and rushed straight to Africa.

After flying another two hundred and fourteen miles, it fell on the roof of a squalid peasant shack, where an old woman lived. The old woman lay on her back and slept, and her mouth was open. The cannonball pierced the roof, hit the sleeping woman right in the mouth, knocked out her last teeth and got stuck in her throat - neither here nor there!

Her husband ran into the shack, a hot and resourceful man. He put his hand down her throat and tried to pull out the core, but it did not budge.

Then he brought a good pinch of snuff to her nose; she sneezed, so good that the ball flew out of the window into the street!

That's how much trouble the Spaniards caused their own core, which I sent back to them. Our core also did not give them pleasure: it hit their warship and let it sink, and there were two hundred Spanish sailors on the ship!

So the British won this war mainly due to my resourcefulness.

“Thank you, dear Munchausen,” my friend the general said to me, shaking my hands tightly. If it wasn't for you, we would be lost. We owe our brilliant victory only to you.

- Rubbish, rubbish! - I said. I am always ready to serve my friends.

In gratitude for my service, the English general wanted to promote me to colonel, but, as a very modest person, I declined such a high honor.

Accurate shot

In Italy, I made a fortune as a rich man, but a calm, peaceful life was not for me.

I longed for new adventures and exploits.

Therefore, I was very happy when I heard that a new war had broken out not far from Italy, the British were fighting the Spaniards. Without a moment's hesitation, I jumped on my horse and rushed to the battlefield.

The Spaniards then besieged the English fortress of Gibraltar, I immediately made my way to the besieged.

The general who commanded the fortress was a good friend of mine. He received me with open arms and began to show me the fortifications he had erected, because he knew that I could give him practical and useful advice.

Standing on the wall of Gibraltar, I saw through a telescope that the Spaniards were pointing the muzzle of their cannon exactly at the place where we both stood.

Without a moment's hesitation, I ordered that a huge cannon be placed on this very spot.

“Why?” the general asked.

“You'll see!” I answered.

As soon as the cannon was rolled up to me, I directed its muzzle directly into the muzzle of the enemy cannon, and when the Spanish gunner brought a fuse to his cannon, I loudly commanded:

Both guns fired at the same moment.

What I expected happened: at the point I had planned, two cannonballs - ours and the enemy's - collided with a terrifying force, and the enemy's cannonball flew back.

Imagine: it flew back to the Spaniards.

It tore off the head of a Spanish gunner and sixteen Spanish soldiers.

It knocked down the masts of three ships that were in the Spanish harbor, and rushed straight to Africa.

After flying another two hundred and fourteen miles, it fell on the roof of a squalid peasant shack, where some old woman lived. The old woman lay on her back and slept, and her mouth was open. The core made a hole in the roof, hit the sleeping woman right in the mouth, knocked out her last teeth and got stuck in her throat - neither here nor there!

Her husband ran into the shack, a hot and resourceful man. He put his hand down her throat and tried to pull out the core, but it did not budge.

Then he brought a good pinch of snuff to her nose; she sneezed, so good that the ball flew out of the window into the street!

That's how much trouble the Spaniards caused their own core, which I sent back to them. Our core also did not give them pleasure: it hit their warship and let it sink, and there were two hundred Spanish sailors on the ship!

So the British won this war mainly due to my resourcefulness.

“Thank you, dear Munchausen,” my friend the general said to me, shaking my hands tightly. “If not for you, we would be lost.” We owe our brilliant victory only to you.

“Nothing, nothing!” I said. “I am always ready to serve my friends.

In gratitude for my service, the English general wanted to promote me to colonel, but, as a very modest person, I declined such a high honor.
Raspe R.E.

Accurate shot. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

In Italy, I made a fortune as a rich man, but a calm, peaceful life was not for me.

I longed for new adventures and exploits.

Therefore, I was very happy when I heard that a new war had broken out not far from Italy, the British were fighting the Spaniards. Without a moment's hesitation, I jumped on my horse and rushed to the battlefield.

The Spaniards then besieged the English fortress of Gibraltar, I immediately made my way to the besieged.

The general who commanded the fortress was a good friend of mine. He received me with open arms and began to show me the fortifications he had erected, because he knew that I could give him practical and useful advice.

Standing on the wall of Gibraltar, I saw through a telescope that the Spaniards were pointing the muzzle of their cannon exactly at the place where we both stood.

Without a moment's hesitation, I ordered that a huge cannon be placed on this very spot.

Why?” the general asked.

You'll see! - I answered.

As soon as the cannon was rolled up to me, I directed its muzzle directly into the muzzle of the enemy cannon, and when the Spanish gunner brought a fuse to his cannon, I loudly commanded:

Pli!

Both guns fired at the same moment.

What I expected happened: at the point I had planned, two cannonballs - ours and the enemy's - collided with a terrifying force, and the enemy's cannonball flew back.

Imagine: it flew back to the Spaniards.

It tore off the head of a Spanish gunner and sixteen Spanish soldiers.

It knocked down the masts of three ships that were in the Spanish harbor, and rushed straight to Africa.

After flying another two hundred and fourteen miles, it fell on the roof of a squalid peasant shack, where some old woman lived. The old woman lay on her back and slept, and her mouth was open. The core made a hole in the roof, hit the sleeping woman right in the mouth, knocked out her last teeth and got stuck in her throat - neither here nor there!

Her husband ran into the shack, a hot and resourceful man. He put his hand down her throat and tried to pull out the core, but it did not budge.

Then he brought a good pinch of snuff to her nose; she sneezed, so good that the ball flew out of the window into the street!

That's how much trouble the Spaniards caused their own core, which I sent back to them. Our core also did not give them pleasure: it hit their warship and let it sink, and there were two hundred Spanish sailors on the ship!

So the British won this war mainly due to my resourcefulness.

Thank you, dear Munchausen, my friend the general said to me, shaking my hands tightly. If it weren't for you, we would be lost. We owe our brilliant victory only to you.

Trifles, trifles! - I said. - I am always ready to serve my friends.

In gratitude for my service, the English general wanted to promote me to colonel, but, as a very modest person, I declined such a high honor.