Babies can often show refusal to breastfeed, and each child has their own reasons for this.
Breastfeeding is one of the most difficult problems for new parents, but it is easy to solve if you find the reason for this behavior in time.
How does a baby refuse to breastfeed?
How to understand that the child really refuses milk? The answer is simple - he himself will let you know about it. Rejection can occur in different ways: the baby does not take both breasts; takes only one breast and does not take the other; breastfeeds only during sleep; turns away, distracted, starts to cry.
Suspicions must necessarily appear in parents with restless behavior of the child during breastfeeding. He may suck a little and throw, then return to the breast again. The child turns around, cries - all these are signs of refusal.
It is important to distinguish between giving up breast milk and stopping breastfeeding. Babies under 9 months of age rarely want to be weaned. Therefore, it is necessary to immediately look for the reason for the refusal.
False and genuine denials
Breastfeeding has some age dependence.
Every 5th mother who observes the refusal of her child is mistaken. However, the probability of a genuine failure remains high and you need to be able to identify it in time.
Genuine rejection more typical for newborns and children after 9 months. In other periods, this is also possible, although it happens less often. The reasons for such a refusal are usually the physical condition of the child (before 1 month) or, accordingly, the child's readiness to complete breastfeeding (after 9 months).
False Denial in general can be characterized as follows: the child wants to suckle, but for some reason he cannot or does not want to. The reasons for this behavior are discussed in more detail below.
There is also the so-called apparent failure. It is typical for a child aged 4-5 months and, as a rule, is accompanied by the introduction of complementary foods. The main sign of such a refusal is that the child is distracted during suckling. This behavior is due to the fact that the child goes through the stages of growing up, his sphere of interests expands. If the baby is gaining weight normally, its development is age-appropriate, then there is no cause for concern.
Sometimes it happens that the child often turns his head. You don't have to take it as a rejection. This may indicate that the child is uncomfortable and needs to be attached.
Reasons for not breastfeeding
In order to protect the baby from possible problems with growth and development, it is necessary to immediately help him - he himself cannot cope with this. And for this you need to determine the reason for this behavior. Let's look at the most common ones.
Causes due to the physical condition of the child
Babies with low weight, weakened, premature, who have had a difficult birth may experience difficulty in sucking. Sucking milk from the breast is physically difficult for these babies. A child may also have a poor tongue grip on the nipple, due to a short frenulum of the tongue.
Babies often pick up infections or get sick. Parents may not even notice this due to the absence of obvious external signs of the disease. In this case, the child does not refuse the breast of his own free will. He wants milk, but he it hurts to swallow or he can't breathe because of a stuffy nose.
Can cause feeding difficulties torticollis, clavicle fracture, or hypertonicity. In this case, the child will cry, quickly let go of the breast. To accurately determine the presence of damage, it is necessary to consult a doctor. Also try to find a position that is comfortable for the child. For example, with torticollis, it will hurt him to suck on only one breast, so he will take only her. If treatment is started on time, the child will learn to take the second breast.
A painful condition appears in an infant and with teething. However, such a refusal will not last long - literally in a couple of days the baby will begin to breastfeed again.
In addition, children experience pain during feeding when thrush or stomatitis. Check your baby's mouth. The situation can be corrected only with the immediate help of doctors.
Quality of breast milk
A child of any age categorically does not take the breast, arches, twists his head. This may be a sign that the baby does not like the taste or smell of milk. Analyze what product could “spoil” your milk: marinades, spices, spices, garlic. Read more about breastfeeding mom nutrition
Taking medications or when a mother starts her period can also affect the taste of breast milk.
Improper breastfeeding technique
Check if you are putting the baby to the breast correctly, it may be uncomfortable for the baby. Neither you nor the baby should experience any discomfort during the feeding process.
Is the baby positioned correctly in your arms, is he latching on correctly? The baby should not strain, turning his head or stretching his neck to reach the nipple. You may need to change your feeding position.
Read about the correct technique of attachment to the breast, as well as positions when feeding.
Change to another type of sucking
If a baby was supplemented with a bottle, there is a chance that he refuses to breastfeed in favor of a bottle, since it is much easier to suck milk from a bottle than from a breast.
Not enough milk
If there is not enough milk in the breast, the baby has to put in a lot of effort to suckle. As a result, he quickly gets tired and stops sucking. Sometimes, babies get so tired that they can even refuse the bottle offered after the breast. As a rule, after or during sucking, the child in this case will show anxiety, twist his legs.
Read how to find out if a baby is getting enough breast milk, how to increase lactation
Hyperlactation
In some cases, the milk itself is to blame, or rather, its quantity. With hyperlactation, the mother's body produces too much milk, which flows into the baby's mouth at high speed. This unnerves children and contributes to whims.
For example, if you feed your baby before bed, he needs to relax, but due to hyperlactation, he has to be in suspense. In this case, the children do not begin to refuse the breast immediately, but rapid weight gain may be the first sign of hyperlactation for you.
Hyperlactation is not treated, the body will still continue to produce a large amount of milk. But this does not mean that the problem should be ignored.
If you notice that the baby is choking, take the breast yourself and calm the baby, only then apply it again.
Hyperlactation causes significant problems only in the first months of feeding the baby. Over time, the child will get used to this regime, in addition, lactation gradually decreases.
Causes due to the psychological discomfort of the baby
Restless anxious behavior of the mother, a similar condition is transmitted to the child. Discord in the family, frequent quarrels of parents. Mom's illness. Separation from mother, lack of mother's attention, mother is often distracted by other duties. Emotional shock for the child, for example, moving, changing the usual environment. Too much noise in the house, too many guests. Visiting a doctor, going on a visit.
All these circumstances can easily confuse a child, “knock the habitual ground out from under his feet”, and cause psychological discomfort and stress in the baby, and subsequently refusal of the breast.
Temporarily set aside all responsibilities that keep you from being with your child.
Explain to loved ones that in the next few days you need to fully focus on the child. Carry your baby to smell you, smell your milk, sleep together. Feeding during daytime and nighttime sleep is a proven way to lure the baby back to the breast. Babies who resist breastfeeding while awake most often agree to breastfeed when they fall asleep or even right in their sleep.
External stimuli
The reason for not breastfeeding may be that the baby is simply distracted. It happens to babies between the ages of 2 and 3 months. At this age, the baby is just beginning to get acquainted with the new world and pays attention to everything new. Since he is interested in the environment, every rustle and every bright thing will distract his attention.
In such situations, often a false refusal is mistaken for a genuine one. What should mom do? Everything is easy enough - if the child turns away from the chest with crying, then the reason is really more serious than just a new sound. If the baby calmly releases the breast, wait until he calms down and continue feeding.
Other reasons
Even in newborn babies, habit plays a big role.
So, for example, in the maternity hospital, the mother feeds the child lying down, and upon arrival home, she began to feed while sitting. Since the baby is used to a certain position during feeding, the new position makes him nervous. In this case, the mother needs to be patient and retrain her baby. Feeding while sitting will not work right away, so first feed the baby while standing, gently shaking. Over time, he will get used to the new position.
Babies can get used to one breast and not attach to the other. This happens if the mother had lactostasis or a crack in her chest. In this case, she stops putting the baby to her for a while. During this period, the baby gets used to the other breast and does not want to eat from the second. Then you need to carefully retrain and apply more often to the “unloved” breast. It is quite possible to retrain a child in a month.
What to do if the baby refuses to breastfeed
If you are sure that you have correctly identified the reason for the child's refusal to breastfeed, find ways to eliminate it. If you still don't know what's causing your baby's anxiety, seek help from a doctor or counselor.
The child may be nervous during feeding due to the lack of psychological contact with the mother. In this case, experts actively practice the “nest method”. The task of the mother is to create around herself a cozy nest for the child, in which he will feel as comfortable as possible. Therefore, all conditions should remind the baby of the womb. It was there that he felt at ease.
The "nest method" is based on constant contact between mother and child. This means that for some time they should not be separated at all. Therefore, try not to let the child out of your arms. If it is difficult to constantly carry it in your arms, use a sling, lie next to it. Children need to feel the warmth of their mother, so try to keep a minimum of clothing separating you from the child.
If you have never practiced co-sleeping with your baby before, be sure to try it. It won't take up much space on the bed, but this continuous contact will bring you closer.
It is important to note that while the problem is being corrected, you should not bottle-feed the baby or give him a pacifier. You can give an additional mixture only on the recommendation of a doctor from a spoon or syringe (without a needle).
Otherwise, it will negatively affect the child's attitude towards breastfeeding and cause a complete refusal.
Try to be patient and careful. If the baby cries while feeding, stop, calm down, and only then continue. Calming the baby, communicate with him, sing songs to him. Such an approach is bound to be successful.
If, after all these tricks, your child (over 9 months old) is still refusing to breastfeed, you can be sure that this is exactly what he is striving for, that your child is really ready to move to a new level - to weaning and completing breastfeeding. feeding.
Video breast rejection:
Breastfeeding is divided into three types:
Self-weaning refers to breastfeeding at natural weaning age. A child who refuses to breastfeed is psychologically and physiologically matured to weaning and simply stops breastfeeding, having enough other nutrition.
A false refusal is usually called the behavior of a child when he cannot take a breast for a long time. This is associated with:
- long "search" for the nipple. The child turns his head at the chest - looking for a nipple for a while
With long-term training of the child in the correct sucking technique (an individual feature of the child);
With a slight distraction from the chest with extraneous sounds during feeding (usually starting at the age of 4-5 months), when the child often turns away from the breast, distracted.
With hyperlactation - increased milk production, abundant milk leakage prevents the child from sucking, he coughs, turns away from a strong flow of milk
With physiological reasons: the child is sick, the child has thrush or an injury to the oral cavity, the nasal passages are clogged and breathing through the nose is difficult, cutting teeth are disturbing
True refusal is the refusal of the breast against the background of experienced stress as a result of a violation of the psycho-emotional connection with the mother. This condition is also called "psycho-emotional deprivation" - repulsion of the mother after a violation of contact with her. This is a dangerous condition, in the absence of an immediate adequate reaction from the mother, fraught with serious problems in the future. It is possible to recognize such a failure, excluding the causes of a false failure, by the following distinctive characteristics, which have approximately the following sequence:
- just calm baby cries at the chest for a long time
- taking the breast, he immediately throws the nipple and cries again
- the baby arches and cries at the offer of the breast
- the child after crying at the breast calms down in the arms NOT of the mother
- the child does not look for the breast, being in the arms of the mother, often cries and behaves uneasily in her arms
- after crying bitterly, falls asleep with sobs outside the mother's arms
- seeks sublimation of comfort - getting used to the nipple, falls asleep exclusively with the nipple
- after a long "scandal" at the chest takes only a bottle
Reasons for true rejection:
- the child was separated from the mother after birth
- baby sucking on a pacifier
Baby falls asleep with a pacifier instead of breastfeeding
- the baby is bottle fed
- with the child for a long time there are strangers
- the mother is often absent, leaving the child with someone
- the child experiences a lack of emotional and physical contact with the mother.
- family environment is emotionally unstable
- the child experiences constant stress, fear, he is treated inconsistently with his age stage of development
- the child is subjected to unnatural and non-physiological procedures that tire him, which frighten him, and the mother is their participant, initiator or witness and does not try to protect, console or stop the procedures (such procedures can be hard massage, diving, dousing with cold water and dynamic gymnastics)
It is important to understand that in the case of true rejection, its main reason is resentment. The psyche of a young child is tuned to the constant presence of the mother and to her satisfaction of his biological expectations from communication with her - physical contact, breastfeeding, a feeling of peace from her smell, body heat, movements, heartbeat and sounds of her voice. These relationships are mostly instinctive . If she often practices weaning (especially up to six months), often tries to put the child in a stroller and a crib, to transfer worries about him to another person, the baby begins to experience a deficit in her presence, which he cannot, due to his development, compensate with anything, because they the instinct to search for these required communication parameters that nature has given him for normal development is driven, and then his psyche turns on emergency stoplights: “I am not needed, they don’t like me, well, then I won’t eat!”. That is, the perception of maternal behavior as a betrayal causes a protest, which, in terms of its destructive power of motivation, could be equated with the rejection of life, instinctive self-elimination. This form of state arising from the dissatisfaction of needs in psychology is called “frustration”. Here is what a scientific giant like Eric Berne writes about these states of babies when their mother deprives them of their opportunity:
“The infant cannot think over the situation by asking the question: “Should she really have gone away, or should she have stayed with me?” Because he is prevented and because he is a baby, he immediately looks for other ways to satisfy his tensions, and if he fails to satisfy his libido (like the desire to live and love of life in general - author's note), he tries to find relief through mortido ( energy tensions relieved by destruction, damage, elimination and distance, the energy of the death instinct) (The same applies to other types of frustrations.)Not being able to control the limbs, he can do it with few
ways, and without much refinement. The adult may run or fight; the baby is not available to either one or the other. The main possible passive reaction for him is to lie still, refusing to suck.” (E. Berne “Introduction to psychiatry and psychoanalysis for the uninitiated” chapter “3. Emotional development of a suckling baby”)
And here is how one nursing mother described her situation with refusal, who managed to trace the reasons for its onset, the development of such side effects that pursue refusals as lactostasis and subsequently cope with the refusal with the support of a lactation consultant.
"Stupid mistake :) we gave the child a pacifier. He asked for a breast every 10 minutes. He would take - give up - asks again and so on for half a day. Before that, a sister came and said that the child is now in the oral stage of maturation, he needs to satisfy the sucking reflex, that the chest that the nipple is not important, just to suck
We gave up and then we went for a walk - in a stroller - this is mistake number two.
Firstly, it was still too early to walk, he would have to get comfortable with the space of the apartment .... secondly, I went far, the asphalt is bad, the stroller is shaking - the baby was “turned off” immediately.
I now understand this - a reaction to stress. And then I thought: that's how good it sleeps on the street! Maybe he woke up to eat, but there was a nipple in his mouth - he didn’t ask for a breast for several days, then he’s capricious at home or doesn’t sleep, but I have to eat or some other business - we immediately put him in a stroller, give him a pacifier and pump. He fell asleep with a pacifier and under the “shake”, lie down quietly and fall asleep.
That's how he got used to falling asleep.
And then I realized the other side of the coin: - I began to take the breast incorrectly, I had two lactostasis in a week - I began to take the breast less often, stopped gaining weight (it’s not clear whether he wants to eat or not, because the nipple is in his mouth) - put him to sleep in his arms or under the breast it became impossible: only a stroller and a nipple ... I was scared: if everything is so serious in a week, then what will happen in a couple of months? breast rejection?
We decided to give up the pacifier. And on August 3, we had a shooting range: they took away the pacifier, Yarik screams (he doesn’t cry, but screams, he’s already choking), the stroller was removed, he doesn’t take his chest, he can’t fall asleep, I have a temperature of 39, I need to express lactostasis in a certain position, and the baby refuses ... In short, it’s a shame for the child, ashamed of myself in front of him, Albert accuses me of cruelty (the pacifier should be gradually taken away, just give less and less, and you are so abrupt), I cry from all this nightmare ... Then in the evening Yarik slept a little , subsided. I called a lactation consultant in Krasnoyarsk. My main question was: did I do the right thing by taking it away, so abruptly? It turned out there was no other way. She gave me great support, answered all the questions. It became easier. The consultant warned that now we need to try to make sure that the baby forgets the stress. This is two weeks of “nesting”: no guests, no walks, no bathing, ONLY mother and her breasts. Even daddy better not babysit. The baby needs to learn again that the mother IS and she is the main stronghold and protection. Always and everywhere, no matter what happens.
I tried my best. The regime, of course, could not be sustained anyway. Either the nurse will come, or the grandmother, sometimes I get tired - I’ll give Albert some trouble, we still swam twice ... But even with this approach, the baby became calm, there were fewer tears, fewer nerves.
Now everything is fine)) Yarik woke up, I went to feed him))
Anastasia."
The most basic way to deal with this pathological form of failure is the so-called "nesting method". From the routine of the child, all outsiders are excluded for a while, any items of care that separate mother and child, the mother almost all the time stays with the child in bed, in a quiet, semi-dark room, and constantly offers breasts. The rest of the time, when the child does not suckle, sleeps, he still tries to leave him as little as possible, only if necessary, so that he feels it and methodically restores trust. A very important aspect for nesting is the understanding and support of the rest of the family, who will take on all the other responsibilities around the house and help the mother.
Why does the baby refuse to breastfeed? What to do? Who can you turn to for help? These questions arise in the mind of every breastfeeding woman who has had to face the problem of a lack of desire to breastfeed in a crumb. Such an obstacle to breastfeeding can occur both in the first days of life and a few months after the birth of the crumbs, depending on why the baby refuses to breastfeed. Often, it is very difficult to independently find out and eliminate the reason why the child refuses to breastfeed. In this case, it is simply impossible to do without the help of breastfeeding consultants who have a lot of knowledge in this area. Over many years of practice, specialists have managed to find out the most common reasons why a child refuses to breastfeed, and develop a special action plan to resolve the situation in favor of breastfeeding.
Signs of a baby's refusal to breastfeed.
To start looking for the reasons why the baby refuses to breastfeed, you need to make sure that such a problem exists at all. Statistics indicate that approximately 1/5 of all calls are cases of imaginary refusal of the breast. Unlike genuine, apparent breast rejection is not a threat if the baby is gaining enough weight and developing normally.
Imaginary refusal of the breast is most often found among children aged 4-7 months, during the period of active psycho-emotional development. During attachment, the baby turns his head, distracted by any noise, sucks a little and throws again. This can continue throughout the feeding if there are people or objects in the room that distract the little "hard worker" from his main occupation.
In addition, apparent refusal of the breast is observed in children weakened after illness, as well as in diseases associated with nasal congestion. When the underlying disease is eliminated, the reason why the child refuses to breastfeed will disappear by itself.
True breast rejection is characterized by the following features:
- the baby takes only one breast;
- the child does not take both breasts;
- it is possible to breastfeed the baby only at night, during the wakeful period he flatly refuses to suck;
- breastfeeding does not help calm the baby;
- the baby does not suck the breast, but simply holds it in his mouth;
- the baby is restless during sucking, sucks a little, throws the breast and cries, after which it is applied again or turns away and arches.
The sooner the reason why the child refuses the breast is established, the better for the health of the baby and mother.
Reasons for breastfeeding
Many mothers are sure that breastfeeding is organized correctly, and if there are problems with breastfeeding, then, most likely, for reasons beyond their control. The list of “pseudo-reasons” why a baby refuses to breastfeed includes such as intestinal colic in a baby, an error in diet, a child’s attachment to other family members, etc. When all attempts to establish contact with the baby are unsuccessful, in order to save your strength and time, you need to pay attention to the presence of the following reasons why the baby may refuse to breastfeed.
1. The child is sick.
With some serious diseases, the baby is not able to breastfeed on his own. This is observed in traumatic brain injuries, severe infectious and inflammatory diseases, in which there is an increase in intracranial pressure. In addition, breast rejection can be associated with nasal congestion during a cold, ear pain, and gum inflammation during teething. With poor care, the child may develop thrush on the oral mucosa, which also causes anxiety and contributes to the refusal of suckling.
Only after the treatment of the underlying disease, it becomes possible to establish breastfeeding.
2. Incorrectly organized natural feeding.
The use of bottles, nipples and pacifiers in the first months of life is one of the main reasons why a baby refuses to breastfeed. If the birth was uneventful, and the mother and newborn are in good health, there is simply no need for a pacifier or bottle feeding. The mother must establish contact with the baby and the best "helper" in this matter is the breast. If the baby is crying, it is necessary to attach it to the breast, and not to give a pacifier. The child should feel the warmth and smell of the mother, feel her caress and care. What does he get instead? A piece of rubber, which after a while will replace my mother's breasts, and soon my mother herself.
Attaching the baby by the hour. Regulated breastfeeding originates from the USSR, when all women had to go to work shortly after giving birth. Feeding children according to the regimen is convenient, first of all, for the mother, but not for the baby, as it contradicts physiological development and can become the reason why the child refuses to breastfeed. In addition, scheduled feeding can lead to a decrease in the amount of milk, which, in turn, aggravates the situation.
Breastfeeding for a short period of time. It used to be considered that to completely saturate the crumbs with breast milk, it is enough to attach the baby to the breast for 20 minutes. However, this statement is outdated, as it has long been known that all children breastfeed differently. And, if one eats up in 10 minutes, then the other must be given at least half an hour.
Wrong application. Attaching the baby to the breast is especially important in a situation where there are problems with the nipples - they are inverted or flat. With the exception of some cases, the baby is able to independently obtain milk for himself, by actively sucking the breast with problem nipples. If the baby is attached to the breast incorrectly, for example, only the nipple was captured by the mouth, all his efforts will not bring results, since the baby will suck "idle" and remain hungry.
Incorrectly compiled feeding menu (for children from six months). Another reason why a child refuses to breastfeed may be the banal lack of hunger due to too large portions of complementary foods.
3. Lack of contact with the child on the psycho-emotional level.
Stressful situations that are repeated every day, rough manipulations carried out with the child (therapeutic massage, winter swimming, active swimming) can discourage the child from suckling. In addition, when the baby, while in the next room, calls for mom, but does not receive proper attention, the chances of normal breastfeeding are significantly reduced.
What to do if the child refuses to breastfeed?
To recreate the conditions necessary for normal breastfeeding, you need to make a lot of effort. The first and most important step in solving the problem of why the baby refuses to breastfeed is to create a strong psycho-emotional bond between mother and child. You may have to postpone all household chores, limit the child’s communication with loved ones, reschedule trips to the clinic and guests for another time. This method, which is also called the "nesting" method, gives good results when there are problems with natural feeding. At the same time, we should not forget that feeding should be carried out at the very first request of the child, but not according to the schedule.
In a modern civilized society, the refusal of a child to breastfeed is a fairly common occurrence. Surely you have heard more than once the stories of mothers about how the child "suddenly" refused to suckle at the breast.
Interestingly, in societies that have retained an archaic culture of raising children, genuine breastfeeding is almost never found. And in Europe, for example, 65% of children suckling a nipple, under the age of 3 months, refuse to breastfeed if their mother has milk! According to the observations of experts, and in Russia the situation is very similar ... It turns out that the refusal of a child to breastfeed is the privilege of an exceptionally civilized society, where there are nipples, pacifiers, bottles, as well as a lot of conflicting information on child care.
Seeming refusal of the breast.
In the practice of lactation consultants, the refusal of a child to breast is the second most frequent request after suspected lack of milk. In 20% of cases, this is an apparent refusal, which occurs in almost all infants aged 4 to 7 months. During periods of wakefulness, the baby can be difficult to keep at the breast, or he sucks little by little and is distracted by any rustle. At the same time, he actively sucks before falling asleep and after waking up, and also increases the number of nightly attachments. This behavior is normal, and neither the weight nor the development of the child suffers. Sometimes mothers of newborn babies call the behavior of the child when he turns his head and seems to turn away from the breast. In such a situation, the mother should orient the child, and skillfully attach him to the breast.This behavior happens in case of illness or illness of the child. As a rule, these are complications associated with the nose and mouth. This child needs treatment.
Genuine breast rejection.
In the remaining 80% of calls, there is a genuine refusal of the child to breastfeed, which happens especially often from birth to 4 months of age, and after 8-9 months of the child's life. It looks like this:- the child does not take both breasts;
- Takes one breast well, does not take the other at all;
- sucks only in sleep, but refuses when awake;
- behaves uneasily at the breast, sucks a little, then throws up, cries, starts sucking again, throws up again, turns away, arches. If this has been going on for several days, urgent action should be taken.
Causes.
Reason 1. Use of nipples and pacifiers, bottle feedings. The most common reason for not breastfeeding is in favor of another way of suckling. No pacifier is similar in shape to a breast, so babies suckle breasts and pacifiers in different ways. The “nipple confusion” that has arisen in the child leads to the fact that the baby chooses the most convenient way of sucking for him. Some babies choose the breast (reject the pacifier), others combine the pacifier and breast, but still, most children opt for the unfortunate nipple and pacifier. In any case, the use of a pacifier leads to a separation between the mother and the child, when the mother gives the child an "artificial sedator" to calm her down.With such a refusal, the use of nipples and pacifiers should be avoided in the first place. They go “to the far corner” and never return (ask your husband or grandmother to hide them from you so that “the hand does not reach out”). If the baby receives expressed milk or formula from a bottle, then a spoon, or a pipette, or a syringe without a needle appears instead of a bottle.
In what way it will be more convenient for your baby to receive supplementary feeding, you will learn in practice by trying all the methods.
At the same time, you need to increase the number of attachments to the chest (or attempts to attach). Especially successful are attempts to breastfeed a sleepy baby when he is about to fall asleep (or about to wake up). Make sure that the baby takes the breast correctly. During the day, carry the baby in your arms for a long time, you will need a sling. At night, put the baby to sleep in your bed and feed at least 3 times.
Enlist the support of relatives. Their help will be invaluable in organizing your life with your child. For 2 weeks, be inseparably with the child, without involving anyone to care for him. It is possible that the baby will have difficulty attaching to the breast due to sucking on the nipple. Proper attachment and comfortable postures for feeding should be trained specifically.
The time required to relearn a baby familiar with a pacifier varies for children of different ages. For a child of the first 3 months of life - from 7 days to 2-3 weeks. For an older baby, relearning can take several weeks. But the mother must have a very good idea of what it is doing. If the baby cries, turns away from the breast and demands a pacifier, you need to know that this is just his set of habits. And you will not "break" an established character, but your incorrectly formed habits. This is not violence, but the most common retraining. After all, now no one is embarrassed by the retraining of a child from sucking the breast to sucking a pacifier ...
Reason 2. Mistakes in caring for the child, and, as a result, the destruction of the child's faith in the reliability of the mother. It occurs in infants who are fed on demand, who do not suck on a nipple, but when the child gets into such conditions for which he is not designed by nature, and he loses the desire to suck on his mother’s breast ... If such a child is not given a nipple, then he switches to active sucking fingers and fists. We call such a refusal “mom abandonment”, fortunately, it is relatively rare, but rehabilitation after it can take a very long time ... To better imagine what “mom abandonment” looks like, I will give two examples from my practice:
- Lena asked for advice when the baby was 5 days old. For the first 3 days he slept soundly, and, according to his mother, "did not require breasts." After the start of sucking, cracks appeared on the nipples, and the chest began to hurt. During the conversation, it turned out that the birth took place at home, and the child was born into the water. After birth, a series of “developmental-hardening” procedures were performed with the baby, as a result of which he refused the first attachment to the breast and fell deeply asleep for 3 days ... Now the boy is 8 months old, he is breastfeeding, he has never tried a nipple, artificial mixtures, he feeds on demand , at 6 months, pedagogical complementary foods were introduced. But rehabilitation from the injury received during water birth (we are, after all, land creatures) and postpartum procedures is still going on. Despite repeated training of mother and baby in proper attachment to the breast, mother regularly heals cracked nipples (which is also very often the result of a relationship), and does not understand the behavior of her child, who does not let her go even for a minute, even in a dream. Maybe he is not yet sure that he is completely safe, or maybe he is afraid of repeating the sad experience. This can only be guessed at.
- The first conversation with Natasha about feeding and caring for a child took place when her daughter was 4 months old. The reason for the appeal was the active sucking of their fists and fingers. It turned out that the baby sleeps all night apart from her mother and does not wake up for feeding, and during the day she does not apply often enough (at the same time she pees a lot, which means she gets enough milk). Doesn't suck on the pacifier. After long conversations and reflections, the girl at 5 months old was transferred to her mother's bed, feeding was arranged on demand. But the mother began to complain that even when sleeping together, the daughter actively sucks her fists at night, and does not pay attention to the mother's breasts ... By the age of 6 months, the child was given a pacifier, because. It was very difficult to take the fingers out of her mouth. Recently, Natasha called and said that after a dream, when the girl wakes up, she does not call her mother. She lays down and weeps softly. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes...until Mom accidentally looks into the room.
Perinatologists call the child's behavior when breastfeeding psycho-emotional deprivation (i.e., the destruction of relationships). If the mother fails to establish relationships at an early age, then the consequences of this will manifest themselves many times over later in life.
Often, breastfeeding is complicated by a lack of milk. In this case, measures to increase lactation are necessary.
- A few rules if the baby refuses to breastfeed:
- breastfeeding is not a reason to stop breastfeeding;
- the most common reason for breastfeeding is the use of nipples, pacifiers and bottle feedings;
- the actions of the mother in case of a genuine refusal of the breast should be aimed at convincing the baby that the mother is a reliable person and is always ready to help;
- when retraining a child, the mother needs the competent help of a breastfeeding specialist, as well as support from relatives.
