Why are people unhappy? A global and philosophical question, to which there is a completely worthy answer: because people don't want to be happy ! At least they don't really want to.

Laziness is our main problem . We are too lazy to be happy, we like to complain, to be unhappy, we like it when we are pitied, we like it when we get indulgences at the expense of our unhappiness.

Problems drag us into their swamp, and after a while we become comfortable there! We are getting used to it. Being happy is work, everyday and constant . Being unhappy is much easier, you don’t need to do anything special for this, in addition, it gives us the opportunity to feel sorry for ourselves and justify a series of incomplete actions with our misfortunes and depressions: unfinished work, delayed cleaning or meeting friends, non-compliance with a diet, etc. d.

There are a great many ways to deal with depression, stress, blues and just a bad mood, but none of them will help you if you yourself do not want it and are not aware of your desire. “In order to move forward, you need to spin”, you need to work on yourself, develop, think, do, but not stand still. Progress and change for the better in movement and development and nothing else.

Everyone knows the phrase “the morning is wiser than the evening”, one of its meanings is that starting life anew, making important decisions, changing for the better is easiest in the morning. In a sense, starting life anew and with renewed vigor. With which foot you get up, so will the day. For those who decide to start a happy day and a happy life, the main task is to get up on the right foot, and to make sure that both the left and the right foot can turn out to be the same, because that's not the point. This life belongs to us, and it depends only on us what it will be .

So, many psychologists advise start the day with positive thoughts , even if, in view of a number of circumstances, they seem unnatural and illogical to you. Start looking for the positive in everything that happens. In good weather, it is a source of good mood, if it’s raining outside, then take it as a necessity for nature, as a guarantee of the next rainbow, like washed streets, as an excuse to take a new beautiful and certainly bright cane umbrella from home.

Wash your face, take a shower, imagine how you are charged with vivacity, and with water your fatigue and depressive thoughts go down the pipes into the unknown.

Breathe with closed eyes . Imagine breathing in a deep, clear air through your nose. Hold your breath, exhale slowly through your mouth. Imagine that you are exhaling gray and heavy air. Repeat this several times, mentally clearing yourself that each subsequent time you exhale more and more pure air, that you are surrounded by a warm protective, light shell that repels negativity.

Put yourself in order after sleep, go to the mirror, smile at your reflection , even if not immediately naturally, but through force. But repeat this exercise, do not be lazy! Tell yourself that this day is better than yesterday, that you attract good luck and good mood, and everything will work out for you.

"Smudge" the mirror with your favorite lipstick . Write big on it upper corner: "I'm happy!" or “I can do it!” Do not be afraid to use the present tense, you need to not just want, but gain confidence in happiness, joy and comfort.

Take the time to make a list of the cons in your life, the annoyances that are bothering you. . This is not a matter of minutes, take this issue seriously, let old memories with deeply hidden childhood grievances come up, write them down on paper point by point or print them on a computer. And then take a new sheet / create a new file and enter the same number of points starting with “but” or “on the other hand”, turn the minuses into pluses. For example, “I broke up with a young man whom I loved for three years” - “BUT now I have gained experience and become smarter, I can find mutual love and new serious relationships in which I will take into account previous mistakes.” Or: “I was teased at school because of the braces on my teeth that the doctor put in,” - “Now I have a beautiful smile and even teeth.” “I did not enter the university I dreamed of” - “ZATO here I met new friends whom I can always rely on.” It may not be an easy task for you to find your “buts” and “buts”, BUT you can cope with it by delving into yourself and putting a lot of things in your life on the shelves, which will undoubtedly be useful to you.

Re-read the list of pluses, hang it on the wall or leave it in a prominent place on your desktop, do not be lazy to re-read it and supplement it with happy events and positive emotions. Take or print out a sheet with lists of cons. Cross it out, tear it to pieces, then burn it, and finally, what remains of it, flush it down the toilet. Read the pros again, they will stay with you. And you have now ritually “buried” all the troubles.

About what you need to please and pamper yourself needless to say, it's absolutely obvious. Good books, funny comedies, nice people, great food, trips you've always wanted to take but have been putting off for some reason. Music, dance schools and gyms are excellent ways to relax and get positive emotions. Pleasant events from childhood like going to the zoo, circus and amusement park - look for events, look for happy events, save moments. Take care of them in photos, records, stories to acquaintances and friends. It is very useful to keep a diary of good events, write supportive and motivational letters to yourself in the future. Absolutely magical inspiration for self-love and love of life can be thematic photo shoots. Do not forget that an experienced and talented photographer is always a bit of a psychologist who helps to relax, liberate, feel better and even better understand yourself.

A very important point: narcissism is bad, but self-love is not only good, but also necessary. A healthy and gentle feeling of attachment to oneself, which gives happiness and satisfaction. Love and praise yourself! For every correct step and smile, feel the taste of a good mood, remember it and hold it. Tell yourself in the evening "Thank you!" for every day that you gave yourself, write this “thank you” on the same mirror. You are great and you build your own happiness!

What if things are really bad?

... And if everything is really bad? There are big troubles in life, a black streak, you don’t think up problems, and there was some kind of disaster that unsettled you? They lost their job or something much more serious... Yes, life is not a snow-white magic horse, and sometimes the black bars are so wide that you start to forget if there were white people at all, BUT: you need to live on and make LIFE out of this life, again to act, to pull out one's hair like Munchausen, to be reborn like a Phoenix bird. Women are amazingly strong creatures, you just WANT to. Only you yourself can change anything, but for changes you need to act and fight.

How else? Do you have an alternative to start making your own happiness? There is? And what is he? Crawl into your hole, cry and blow your nose in tons of disposable handkerchiefs? But it certainly won't change anything. This is inaction and the absence of any meaning in what is happening to you. Is this what life is for? There are many events ahead. When you stumble, make mistakes, lose, life does NOT end, it continues - this is the meaning and movement, and it is due to this that you can build something new and certainly happy for yourself. Tomorrow is a new day make yourself happy in it!

There lived - there was a girl named Marya in one village.

Modest and on the face - pleasant.

Only now she was not lucky in her personal life: her gentlemen did not favor her. They walk a little, and only they were seen!

"Well, what's wrong with me?" the girl worried.

“Over there, Aksinya’s face is all freckled, and two suitors are arguing because of her at once!

Lushka's teeth are all crooked, but Fedya doesn't take his eyes off her!

Ulyanka "two inches from the pot", and the guys go after her in a crowd!

Years passed, friends got married, gave birth to children.

And the girl was sitting all alone.

It was hard on her heart. Moreover, the parents grumbled every now and then:

"Overstayed our Masha in the girls! Maybe someone put a spell on her? Hands - legs in place, and the suitors run away!

Once the girl's father went to a neighboring village. Returned home satisfied and joyful:

"I talked here with one wise old man. He complained that I could not marry my daughter in any way. He promised to help"

Indeed, not even a month had passed since the guy arrived in their village. Prominent, beautiful.

Marya only looked at him and realized that she was gone. Yes, she liked him too.

We decided not to delay for a long time, and soon celebrated the wedding. Marya left her home for her husband.

She once dreamed "I'll get married - and I'll be happy!"

And it didn't work out that way!

Far from her home, mother and father, sisters and dear friends, Marya became very ill.

The mother-in-law looks displeased, and the father-in-law is strict. It's scary to look at him, let alone talk to.

From morning to evening, Marya worked: first in the field, then in the garden, and then also at home. By evening, she was completely exhausted. And you won’t expect a good word from your husband. All the time gloomy and dissatisfied.

Every night Marya cried: "This is not the kind of husband she wanted!"

One day her father came to visit. The daughter complained to him about her sad lot.

- And you run to that old man! He lives nearby!- he thought.

- You look, and tell you how to make life happier?

Mary came to the old man. And she began to cry: how badly she lives with her husband.

Grandfather was kind, but a little strange. He flatly refused to hear about her husband and his parents.

- Tell me, Maryushka, better to yourself!

Marya sighed heavily, and told him her whole life.

Grandfather listened to her, smiled with his toothless mouth:

- Here's what, daughter, I'll tell you:

- I could not refuse your father when he asked for you! Helped you with the groom!

- And now it turns out that your husband is to blame for all your misfortunes?

- And if you don’t love yourself, why will others love you?

- No one but you can make your life happier!

Marya wept more than ever: "How can I love myself?"

The old man took pity on her:

-Okay, daughter. I'll try to help you! But only if you do everything I say!

-I will do everything, grandfather! Marya scoffed.

- Just help!

I will tell you a few secrets on how to make life happier:

- Start your day with a smile! And promise yourself that this day will be the happiest!

- Think what you like? What makes your soul sing? Try to make time for this!

- Take care of yourself first! If there is no joy in you, how can you share it with others?

- Even if you are doing unpleasant work, think about good things more often! About what you want!

- Look at yourself carefully and think about what is good in you. Find something new the next day!

Do everything exactly as I told you. And don't tell anyone! Come back to me in a week.

Maryushka woke up in the morning, and outside the window it was raining like a bucket, and the wind was cold. She was upset that a new life begins with such bad weather. But she remembered the words of her grandfather, and promised that it would be her best day.

That morning, everyone in the household praised the breakfast she prepared.

And the young wife smiled happily! Grandpa's secret works!

After breakfast, Marya enthusiastically took up knitting.

- I will please myself with a beautiful shawl! I haven't had any updates for a long time!

She slowly sorted through the knitting needles, recalled how she loved to knit as a child, and imagined her friendly family and little children!

By evening, she realized that she had forgotten about one more order from the old man.

He was the hardest one for her.

- And what is good about me?

Marya went to the mirror, but she did not like the reflection very much. Out of old habit, she wanted to be upset, but she changed her mind and said decisively:

- So my hands are golden!

- Of course, "Golden"! came a male voice.

Marya turned around in fright and saw her father-in-law smiling through his smoky moustache.

- He's not that strict! she thought, and smiled shyly in response.

A week later, a happy woman rushed with all her legs to the old man.

- Grandpa, you really are a magician!

- Yesterday I couldn’t think of anything: “Well, what’s good in me? I suffered half the evening, and decided that a smile!

And at night Petya said so many good words about me! For the first time in our entire lives! Now I have enough for two whole weeks!"

- Well, well done here! smiled the old man!

- I see: and the truth is trying to make your life happier!

- You keep doing this!

And here are three new secrets for you:

- Whomever you meet, look at the person and figure out what is good about him?A kind person can be seen from a mile away, and you try to unravel the "Baba Yaga"! This task will be more difficult!

- Every day remember 5 good things that happened to you!

- And if trouble happens, remember for the rest of your life: "There are always two sides to any business! One is clearly visible - any fool will see it. Can you find the other! And understand what it teaches you?"

- Don't come to me earlier than in a month!

Marya returned home and began to fulfill all the orders of the old man. It wasn't easy for her! But she tried her best. She really wanted to be happy! Every day she got better and better.

And most importantly, there was no time to think about the bad.

Just make sure you follow orders!

And so the month flew by.

But this time Marya came to the old man not alone, but with her husband.

- Sorry grandpa! I didn't keep my word! I told everything to Peter!

What was left for me to do? He became jealous of me! Decided that I fell in love!

And I really fell in love for the first time in my life! Herself!

-You, grandfather, are a real magician!

How many good things I heard and understood during this time!

People are reaching out to me! Everyone wants to talk to me!

In the village they gossip that I know the Magic Secret!

And I am silent and smile: "After all, I really know!"

Petya never leaves my side!

He even guards from his brothers! She won't let her friends!

But I realized what needs to be done: "I told him everything, as if in spirit! I asked:" Does he also want to make his life happier?

It was here that he admitted to me that he had been dreaming about this for a long time!

Even got married because of it. And then he was angry that after the wedding nothing had changed!

Before, I would have been offended by such words. And now I understand:

- Unhappy people cannot build a happy family!

- Each of us expected happiness from the other, instead of sharing it!

- Grandpa, I'm so grateful to you!

Please help my Pete too!

The old man smiled slyly into his mustache.

- Daughter, don’t you understand: I didn’t help you become happy!

- You did your best! It would not be your desire, nothing would have happened to you!

This is the biggest secret!

Teach your Peter everything you yourself have learned.

No wonder he came with you! And you don't need me here!

Several years have passed. There were always many guests in the house of Peter and Marya, and joyful laughter often sounded. Their little children were very fond of listening to fairy tales. The story about the old man who taught their mom and dad to be happy was one of the first to be told by their parents! She was the favorite in their family! And the children were ready to listen to her endlessly!

P.S Thank you very much Valery (website http://zhdanovpapa.ru/moi-dostizheniya/kubok-priznaniya) for appreciating my site and awarding him the Cup 🙂

ALL THE BEST!

Troubles at work, difficulties in relationships with people, misunderstanding and quarrels with a loved one. "Well, black stripe!" you think. In fact, there are no black bars. Everything that happens to you is a consequence of your past actions and deeds, your thoughts and your emotions. Is it possible to make the black bars as small as possible?

Maybe! But for this you need to work on yourself. Yes, yes, just above yourself! It is our attitude to everything that is the catalyst for all the pleasant and not very pleasant events in our life. Today we will give you five valuable tips , and if you take them as rules and try to live by these rules, you will forget what stress is and your life will become much more joyful and calm!

How to make your life happy

Tip one . Don't live in the past! Past emotions, resentments and experiences. It is impossible to plan for the future by constantly looking back at the past. Walking backwards into the future like this will take you far into the past, and you will be stuck there for a long time, digging and reliving hundreds of times what has already passed. Remember one thing - what has already passed cannot be returned and cannot be corrected. Take the relevant lesson and knowledge from the past and forget about it.

Tip two. Do not waste your life on complaints and negative experiences. Stop crying and condemning everyone who, in your opinion, is preventing you from living and moving forward. You can blame anyone for your troubles - a neighbor, spouse, friend or foe, the government and the president. But in reality, only you make decisions and are responsible for them. Only you turn your life in one direction or another. So stop complaining about everyone and everything, do not support complainers in conversations and stop judging everyone. You will see, quite a bit of time will pass, and life will become easier and more joyful for you.

Tip three . Don't envy! Envy brings nothing but harm and self-destruction. Live your own, not someone else's Know that not a single person has everything smoothly and evenly, just not all people discuss their troubles. Do not assume that a neighbor or colleague lives an easier and happier life than you. Even if it is, it has nothing to do with you. Envy is useless and destructive. Moreover, it is very unhealthy! Train yourself to be happy for people and wish them well! The more you rejoice and desire, the more goodness and joy you will attract into your life! There is a long-known truth “if you want to get something, help another person get it, and in the end you will get even more than you expected!”

Tip Four . Pay attention to what you say! Words play a huge role! Try to speak kind, good words at least for a week. Talk about your dreams and desires, but only in a positive way, not in a negative way. Don't talk bad about people. What we condemn in others, we first of all condemn in ourselves. Sometimes it is better to remain silent than to have useless conversations, throwing mud at everyone or complaining about everyone. Try to talk only about the good, to notice only the good, and soon it will become your habit!

Tip five. Forgive your enemies. You need to learn how to do this not for them, but, first of all, for yourself. Hate, like envy, is destructive. Don't waste your energy hoarding grudges and hating your enemies. By doing this, you strike a blow, first of all, to yourself. Yes, it is very difficult, but it is necessary to learn how to do it!

The advice seems to be not difficult, but in one day you are unlikely to be able to completely change your thoughts, words and habits. But you wanted to know how to make your life happy? Everything turned out to be simple and, at the same time, difficult, right? Don't delay until tomorrow, start changing your life for the better right now! Remember these rules and follow them. Remember this moment when you decided to change your life. And in six months, a year, subject to the fulfillment of all five points, your life will change for the better. Move away from condemnation, envy, hatred. Stop littering yourself with unnecessary emotions and wasting your life energy.

Harmony to you, joy and always a great mood!

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Remember how joyful your life was in childhood and youth? Do you feel that it is time to return the colors of life to every weekday? Do you understand that you are bored and have not experienced sincere joy for a long time? Do you want to know how make life happier and happier?

Joy can become your best daily habit and make life happy. After all, happiness and joy always go hand in hand and are natural states of the soul.

In this article, I want to offer you 5 personal experience-tested ways to expel boredom and return joy and happiness. sincere interest in life.

1. Knowing Yourself

Since ancient times, the sages say "Know yourself and you will know the whole world." Allow yourself to look at yourself. You cannot even imagine how many amazing and joyful discoveries await you!

Start with your physical body. Learn how it is wisely arranged: everything works, even if you do not pay attention to it. Each cell contributes great process of life.

Pay attention to your emotions and feelings. How wide is the range of feelings that you are capable of experiencing! Sadness and joy, love and hate, fear and confidence, disappointment and surprise, shame and pride, boredom and interest...

And how many thoughts do you have time to think in one day! Modern researchers claim that on average a person has from 60,000 to 100,000 thoughts per day! How many of them can you keep track of? To what extent are these thoughts you like? Which of them contribute to your development?

By knowing yourself you discover their true needs and desires. Satisfying them, you can find harmony and happiness. And there will be more joyful moments every day!

2. Creativity

Any creativity is the process of creating something new. Something that didn't exist before. It could be like that, but it never happened like what you did. It makes me want to exclaim: Feel like a Creator!”.

Think back to your childhood years. Remember how you drew, sculpted, cut, modeled, sewed. Remind yourself in this process! Even before one of the authoritative adults gave an assessment to your creation. How much joy did the process of creation bring to you?

Now you do not need to put the results of your creativity for discussion, there is no need to get good grades or approval from the outside.

Let yourself just enjoy the process of creation. Whether it is the creation of cleanliness and comfort in the house, a new dish for dinner, an outfit for the holiday, or the expression of one's feelings through poetry, a drawing, an article.

3. New Experience

Again I suggest you remember your childhood. The first days, months, years of life are unusually filled with new experiences. Every day you discover something new, try it, master it.

First steps, first words, first snow, first love and first acquaintances. Every day you did something for the first time and gain new experiences. Everything was interesting, filled with joyful anticipation.

But what now? Have you really already learned everything and therefore got bored? Or is there something else that would be interesting to try?

The expanses of the Internet are full of lists of what you can try to do at least once in your life. You can refer to them or recall childhood dreams, or get ideas from your acquaintances. Make it your rule get a new experience once a week and after a couple of months you will see how much more joyful your life has become!

4. Travel

What did you feel when you read this word “travel”? Restrictions “no, it is expensive for me, there is no opportunity, time”? Or sweet anticipation of freedom and the awakening of interest?

Meanwhile, it is travel that is for most people A great way to add color to your life. And travel is not necessarily expensive and long.

Take an evening trip to your own city. Imagine that you are a tourist coming here for the first time. What new will you discover in familiar streets and houses? Become your own guide and come up with a story for every house, tree, yard. An exciting idea?

Plan a trip out of town this coming weekend. Or to a nearby town. By bike, train, hitchhiking. Never tried hitchhiking and it causes fear?

Take advantage of modern analogues - Internet services that offer the search for fellow travelers. At the same time get a new experience and discover new horizons.

Don't have the time or energy to go outside the house? And what if you go on a journey through the depths of your memory and remember your childhood, past lives,?

While traveling, you will get many new experiences. And this contributes to the development happiness hormones endorphins. Travel constantly and add joy to your life!

5. Live communication

Modern technologies make life easier and make it possible to communicate over long distances. Internet communication is replacing personal, eye to eye.

In no way do I want to devalue this beautiful opportunity to meet and interact with people, regardless of the city and country of residence. But the virtual world cannot replace live communication.

Only in live communication can you feel true emotions both their own and the interlocutor. Simply because only during live communication do you come into contact with a holistic image: you see the posture and facial expressions, hear the timbre and intonations of the voice, you can feel the touch and catch the aroma.

In live communication, there is less opportunity to put on a mask and hide behind a beautiful avatar. In live communication you can be yourself and feel the whole range of emotions for real, and not through emoticons. In live communication, you feel the warmth and energy of a living, real person.

Find your own balance between live communication and online communication. And you will see how the former ease of meeting and establishing friendly and business contacts is returning to you. And there will be more joyful moments both online and in real life!

As you can see, making your life more joyful and happier is not easy, but very simple. It all depends on your sincere desire to do it for yourself. And I want to offer you something that contains all 5 methods outlined in this article.

I am pleased to invite you to take part in the Second Annual Conference of the International Personal Development Project “Journeys of Reincarnations” in St. Petersburg. Our event will take place September 16-18, 2016.

And within this event you:

• you will know yourself
• try a new experience
• discover and show your creativity,
• enjoy live communication in a circle of like-minded people.

Treat yourself with a journey to magical St. Petersburg and memories of your past lives.

Our team is looking forward to seeing you!

It often seems to us that happiness can only be achieved when some more favorable conditions are achieved.

But actually it is not!

You can be happy even when all sorts of trials and even troubles haunt you.

How to make life happy Universal instruction

You just need to look inside yourself, do not give up and do not lose hope. You are the most precious thing you have. Therefore, value yourself, respect and And only then take on other things.

Wrong do those who are waiting for happiness, but for some reason it does not come. It is also very stupid to live from happiness to happiness. It is everywhere and always. We have simply forgotten how to enjoy even the smallest things. Everything somehow came...

Find your sources of inspiration. As a rule, it is love, family and creativity.

Strive for freedom, but do not forget about discipline!

We are all lazy by nature, but no one has yet canceled the fight against laziness.

Constantly expand your social circle, but be sure to include only worthy people in it. Strive to make more friends who are of the same gender as you. Usually men need a large company of friends, and women need a few girlfriends, but real ones.