Almost every fourth person faced aggressors while studying at school. Later, while studying at a higher educational institution and working in a team, most of these people forgot about what happened in their school years. But some individuals are unlucky and, as adults, they meet insolent people on their way who make fun of them and make fun of them. This article explains how to protect yourself from an aggressor if he was frightened by threats.
Hi all. I am writing here because I have no one to consult with. In our group at the university there is a non-Russian guy who viciously makes fun of everyone and is rude. When I stood up for the headman, he began to call names and threaten, fell into inadequacy. In the end, he said that I would be his victim for the rest of the training and wished all my classmates a pleasant viewing. I'm sorry about what happened. When I think that now I will be the object of his public ridicule, it becomes sad. I doubt whether I will find witty and worthy answers to his attacks. And I have no idea how I can protect myself from this aggressor.
All the people I tried to ask for advice laughed and walked off into the sunset. It is understandable. Who needs other people's problems? The so-called “friends” reacted indifferently and after a few minutes forgot about my question. Even my mother brushes me off like a pesky fly. This is very insulting, she does not take seriously my experiences and laughs at them. Her only parting word was: "Pay no attention." It doesn't sound very smart, because it's hard not to pay attention to someone who makes fun of you in public. Ignoring in this case is not an option. It only shows the weakness and failure of a person as a speaker. Tell me how to protect yourself from attacks and not become a laughingstock?
Who behaves aggressively and how to deal with aggressors?
The girl who asked for advice should first realize who is behaving provocatively and making fun of the rest. Understanding this allows you to take the right steps that do not allow negative situations. To facilitate the analysis of the behavior of the inadequate person that this young woman encountered, she should become familiar with the main types of weak people who want to hide their own inferiority behind their aggressive behavior. If you correctly determine who you had to face, you will be able to understand how to protect yourself from the aggressor.
1. As practice shows, people make fun of others when they try to hide their flaws. It is possible to besiege an insolent person who viciously makes fun of others by understanding which of his shortcomings the aggressor is trying to hide, and by pressing on his sore spots.
When I was in the last grades at school, we had a rude, impudent girl in the class with a huge fifth point, tiny eyes and glasses, who made fun of everyone and even used physical violence against many. But every time one of her classmates, trying to resist her, pointed out to her her external shortcomings, she immediately got lost and left alone the one she annoyed. One of the most effective ways to protect yourself from the aggressor is to voice his external or internal shortcomings.
2. Self-confident stupid people who have never faced serious opponents threaten someone. So, the way out of the situation of confrontation with such people is to oppose them with force or power. That is, you can continue to behave aggressively towards the aggressor, speak out against him, and encourage others to do the same. Having turned from a generally recognized authority into an uninteresting lone jester, the insolent will become quiet and leave his victims alone.
Another way to defend yourself is to file a complaint with the dean, the police, or sue the aggressor. Having been in a state of stress and in the role of a victim of circumstances due to his own inappropriate behavior, the insolent person will stop behaving provocatively. After all, he is aware that his actions entail serious consequences for him.
3. People who behave aggressively are usually mentally ill. Understanding this, you should treat them like wild predators. If an animal accustomed to hunting feels fear of a potential victim, it may attack it. The same is the behavior of the aggressor.
Recognizing the fear of a potential victim by the look, movements, shaking hands, trembling voice, an inadequate person will attack with greater fury. The way out of this situation is to show that despite the appearance of fear, there is a desire to stand up for oneself. To protect yourself from a mocking aggressor, you should fiercely defend your honor. Seeing at least once the determination and courage of the victim, the insolent will become afraid of her, because he will see her as a potential threat.
4. There are people who are sadists. To protect yourself from them, it is better to avoid conflict. The girl who asked for advice is right about her mother's statement. After all, she gave her daughter far from the right advice. In principle, you can forget one attack of an inadequate person if you stop seeing him. But faced with an insolent person every day, it is impossible to pretend that his attacks do not catch on.
As the girl herself wrote, in this case she can become the subject of ridicule of her classmates. After all, keeping silent, she will create in them the feeling that she cannot stand up for herself and does not have the intellect to withstand the psychological pressure of the aggressor. The fourth way to protect yourself from the attacks of an abnormal classmate is to transfer to another course or to another university. In the first year, this is usually allowed.
How to achieve respect in the team?
Based on the message of the girl who asked for advice, we can conclude that her fears and worries do not prevent her from doing the right thing. Despite her fears of negative events that may occur in the future, she is still able to stand up for herself. The fact that she stood up for the headman indicates the strength of her personality. She is tormented by inner fears and unnecessary experiences. But when it comes to actions, she, without hesitation, rushes into battle to besiege the aggressor.
So, in any case, she will be able to defend herself from the attacks of an inadequate classmate. Continuing to behave as before, opposing oneself to the impudent one, one can achieve his respect and even recognition.
People despise the weak, fear the aggressors, and respect the strong. This can be confirmed by anyone with extensive experience in communication. Therefore, it is important to show the aggressor that he is not faced with someone who allows himself to be humiliated, but with a worthy opponent who will defend himself to the last.
In my last year at school, I had to deal with a loser who made fun of many classmates. I tried to stay away from him. One day he ran up to me, threw a crumpled newspaper in my face and started shouting and laughing. I don’t know why, but at that moment I thought that he had insulted me greatly in this way. After the lesson, I blocked his way near the teacher's table, demanding that she punish him. In her opinion, I had to protect myself from the aggressor, and therefore she let him go without telling him anything.
I was indignant at the indifference of the teacher. And this loser was terribly angry that I complained about him so openly in front of him. Therefore, he waited for the moment when I alone cleaned the corridor at school, and came to deal with me. I was a head and a half shorter than him and rather skinny. Besides, I didn't know how to fight. That is, the advantage was on his side.
However, when he rushed into the fray, I became stressed and, grabbing his shirt, somehow managed to lift him off the floor a little. At the same time, I pushed him against the wall. The buttons of his shirt rained down on the floor, and he began to choke as my fist pressed against his throat. And I furiously expressed something to him and uttered threats. When I abruptly let him go, he quietly slid to the floor, then got up and ran away. This is how I was able to defend myself once and for all against this aggressor.
I do not urge anyone to fight with classmates or classmates, but I recommend creating in an inadequate person the feeling that his victim is able to go very far in protecting himself. When the aggressor realizes how the reaction of his next victim to his attacks differs from the reaction of the rest, he will leave her alone forever.
I was not going to fight a loser, because I am a quiet and non-aggressive person. I was just ready to do anything to protect myself. The aggressor understood this, and therefore, after a collision with me, he bypassed me. And every time he was alone with me in the same classroom or in the corridor, he tried to retreat as quickly as possible. My history shows that even the weakest can defend themselves against an aggressor.
From the situation described, it is clear that while I was weak for an inadequate classmate like everyone else, he despised me and therefore behaved disrespectfully towards me. When he realized how aggressive I could be, trying to defend himself against his attacks, he became afraid of me. He was in great fear for a very long time. And then, realizing what a strong personality I am, he began to respect me.
Thus, like this loser, most people behave - the weak are despised, the aggressors are afraid, and the strong are respected. To achieve the respect of others, it is not necessary to be an exemplary girl. The main thing is to defend your honor in time, to lay siege to the mocker, in general, to defend yourself from the aggressor. The more fiercely the victim defends his interests and his honor, the more he is respected by the aggressors and witnesses of the confrontation.
In a conflict with the aggressor, it is important to act as he does. If an aggressive person offends, one must do the same. Dissolves his hands - it is worth rebuffing him or filing a complaint with the director, dean or the police. Any inaction is regarded by the aggressor as weakness. Therefore, it is important to show him that he will receive a fitting rebuff if he tries to humiliate.
Why do people become targets of ridicule or persecution?
In everything that happens in the life of every living being, the energies and their mechanisms are to blame. It helps to understand it. But if there is no desire to delve into its principles, even a simple realization that the world is built not on relationships with people, but on energy flows will help change the course of events in life. Understanding this, you begin to look at all unpleasant situations from the side - from the point of view of an outside observer, and not from the side of a victim of circumstances.
Usually, trying to establish relationships with others, the person becomes very confused, feeling abandoned, betrayed and unhappy. An example of this is the case of a girl who asked for advice. She is now looking for ways to protect herself from the aggressor, and people close to her only mock her and brush her off.
But she should understand that all these people are levers of energies. If a girl has now fallen into an energy flow that destroys her life or her will, then everyone around will be deaf to her requests for help and indifferent to her troubles. Now none of her relatives will help her defend herself from the aggressor. Because of this, she will begin to move away from those whom she trusted. Which, in principle, she already does.
But she needs to realize that by closing herself from everyone, she will not be able to find peace of mind, but just the opposite. Disappointed in his surroundings, a person plunges into himself. It is impossible to get out of this state, even with the help of a psychologist. Therefore, a girl who asked for advice should not look for answers and tips from people. She does not need to consider important, some kind of aggressor. And besides, do not pay attention to the reaction of those who study with her.
If at some point she cannot defend herself against the aggressor, she just needs to forget the unpleasant situation. Instead of people, she should be presented with mannequins who perceive her as the energies command them, or as the girl herself wants to be perceived. After all, this is how the world works, which seems real and very simple.
The Way to Change Reality Through Deep Meditation
To realize what was written in the previous part of the article will help the exercise of immersion in a dark substance. It is the primordial matter from which everything originated and in which everything resides. Being surrounded by bright and active energies, people move away from their true self, beginning to believe that the physical reality is the only real world. Although it is just an illusion. This very illusion can be changed at your discretion.
A person with willpower can do this through thought. Weak people - following the rules of unconventional feng shui science. The girl who asked for advice needs to protect herself from the aggressor. So, she should do it on a mental level or with the help of feng shui. The rest of this article describes a way to mentally program the future.
You need to close yourself in a very dark room, lie on the floor or on the bed on your back and completely relax. First you have to fight the streams of thoughts that will seethe in your head. A girl who is now thinking about how to protect herself from an aggressor will have these thoughts in her head. It is necessary to stop all thought processes, presenting a distinct object. For example, a black or white ball.
The disappearance of thoughts is a sign of a disconnection of consciousness. At this time, the mind is in an interconscious state, when you can influence your reality and read true information from space. You can find out what opportunities a person in an interconscious state can manifest by reading. At the moment when there are no thoughts, and the mind is functioning perfectly, you need to mentally protect yourself from the aggressor.
This can be done in a variety of ways. For example, imagine a quarrel with the aggressor, trying to defend yourself. At the same time, one should humiliate him, insult him, laugh at him, imagine how everyone around him took up arms against him or laughed at him. But do not imagine his eloquence and actions. After two weeks of immersing yourself in this state daily and presenting profitable scenes, you can see the results.
The first is a feeling of self-confidence. The fear of the aggressor will pass. It will be possible to change your perception of the world and maybe move to a “different reality”, where something will happen to the aggressor and he will disappear from the horizon. That is, this exercise will not allow you to radically change the course of events, because only a few have powerful willpower, but you will be able to influence your own beliefs, feelings, fears and experiences. Thus, it will turn out to be protected from the aggressor.
A more effective way is to imagine the aggressor and erase it with an eraser or break it like a glass vase. You can imagine how an inadequate person disappears, turning into a pile of ashes on the floor. First of all, this exercise will affect the practitioner. After all, consciousness and subconsciousness will be convinced that the torturer no longer exists.
As a result, indifference will appear in relation to the antics of the aggressor. And at some point, the realization will come that he has disappeared from reality. Wanting to protect yourself from the insolent, you should definitely do the exercise of immersion in a dark substance. Only being in an interconscious state, with a certain skill, one manages to learn how to manage the events of one's life.
Being in an interconscious state, it is better not to try to influence someone by suggesting some thoughts to him. If willpower is weak, then an energy binding to the offender will be created. He, feeling it, will find fault more often. You need to work with your psyche and with your own everyday life or with a specific situation. Only in this case can success be achieved.
A person with powerful willpower is almost impossible to find on Earth. Most people have very little power of thought. Therefore, their desire to influence someone usually brings them trouble. It is not worth the risk of infiltrating someone's energy, even if you are convinced that you have the ability to influence everyone around you. Being mistaken and taking the wrong steps, you can harm yourself, and not protect yourself from the aggressor.
We have heard more than once that we must control ourselves, not react to someone's attacks, and even agreed with this, but that's all. Few people actually remembered this and knew how to apply it in their lives.
There is no time all the time - day after day they routinely run through the everyday bustle, changing into white and black colors, bringing us joys and sorrows, ups and downs, and with them minor troubles and stresses.
Can you protect yourself from them? And How?
We are all people - on the one hand, very different, and on the other - in some ways very similar. We all want joy and less grief. But they, these disappointments still happen, whether we like it or not. And our negative reactions to them and experiences do not bring us anything good - they only take away our health and spoil our mood.
First, let me tell you a story that happened to my mother.
Once she was all, poor, shaking with fear, afraid to even go to work - her turn came to the new main "on the carpet." And I must say that at that time they had almost a mass dismissal due to the tyranny of the very main one - she called everyone to her, yelled and eventually kicked out or, who was very "lucky" - slapped reprimands.
So my mom had it the next day. Well, what would you say here?
I gave her my advice. Mom did not believe at first, brushed it aside, denied it, said how could she do that. Finally managed to convince her. Went.
The next day I ask:
Well, how? Was it "on the carpet"? Did she say all that?
- All. I didn't even think it would help!
- And I did not doubt it. How could you have done otherwise in this situation?
And before I tell you what my advice was, I want to add: after this incident, the head girl could yell at anyone, but not at her mother.
Until her retirement, she always addressed her mother only by her first name and patronymic, respectfully so, she always referred her friends only to her mother, as to the best specialist. And after my mother retired, she constantly called her to return.
So what is this advice?
He is very simple. First, of course, I said:
How can you, an adult and intelligent woman, allow someone (what's the difference that this is the head girl and she can expel?!) Treat yourself like a negligent schoolgirl? Don't you respect yourself enough to let yourself be yelled at? In general, do not allow her to continue talking to you in raised tones.
As soon as she starts yelling, immediately say so, moreover, in a very calm, but firm and confident voice: “On what basis are you talking to me in such a tone? I am not your schoolgirl, and you are not my teacher, to allow this.
If you have comments on me, I will listen to them and take them into account, but only on the condition that you lower your tone. Otherwise, I'll just leave. I don't want to continue working in these conditions."
And even if at the same time she fires you, you won’t lose much, but if you allow yourself to be yelled at at least once, then this will continue forever. And then you lose yourself. It's worth it?
But I am more than sure that she will not fire you, because such people who allow themselves to behave in this way towards others are cowardly by nature. And this means that as soon as they feel a stronger person who is not afraid of them, they turn their tail between their legs. So don't be afraid of anything.
And secondly, and this basic advice, exactly what helped mom don't react to her cries:
try abstract from her. To do this, as soon as she starts yelling, imagine that you are in the auditorium and are watching a performance. In this case - one actor because to participate in this show you don't need.
You just watch carefully how her eyebrows move, her eyes bulge, her painted mouth stretches in a terrible grimace from the ora, her hands gesticulate. Believe me, you will feel funny from all this, you will forget about your fear and you can calmly say everything that we discussed with you. Moreover, you will not want to scream back or cry from resentment, because you will even feel sorry for her.
Many years have passed since then, and I have given this advice more than once to my friends and acquaintances. And for those who used it, it helped.
After all, there are many such situations. Someone is just in a bad mood and he decided to take it out on you, because the line in which you are standing is too long or he did not like your face.
Someone’s life doesn’t work out, everything collapses, it’s rolling somewhere, which means everyone is to blame for this, especially you - out there, you can see it in your face, standing up, smiling.
Someone in general is by nature like this - don’t feed him bread, just let him have a fight with someone, pump up energy.
It doesn't matter what the reasons are for being rude to you today. Do not respond to rudeness with rudeness. Either do not react at all, or, if the situation requires you, try to react, but not in the way that is expected of you. Say, for example: “And all the best to you” or “Who hurt you so much? Is there anything I can do to help?"
And, perhaps, by doing this you will really help someone - it often happens that these words are not enough for a person.
And you will protect yourself from an energy vampire with these words - imagine how he was just about to drink your blood, and, all in anticipation of future pleasure, poured a tub of slops on you, confident in advance of your reaction.
Situations are different, but you are alone. Respect and love yourself, take care of your health, don't let anyone spoil your mood. Live in harmony with yourself and the world around you.
1. What about boors who constantly strive to spoil our mood?
There are not so many of these people, but even one of them can ruin our mood for a long time. The reasons can be very different. They may try to humiliate you just because you have the “wrong” skin color or the “wrong” nationality; because you earn more than them, or because you earn less; because you are sitting next to them in the subway car; because you live in this world ... Envious people will not forgive your success, and spiteful critics will not forgive your defeat. It happens that those on whom you depend in one way or another do not miss the opportunity to assert themselves at your expense: clerks in the executive committee, bosses, subordinates, teachers, students, doctors, plumbers ...
Sometimes there may be no obvious reason at all. It's just that there are people who feel good only when you feel bad. They are always present in any society: failed Fuhrers, hidden sadists, potential rippers, racists and misanthropes. Social conditions or innate cowardice do not allow them to realize their inclinations in the form of physical violence, and therefore they choose the least risky path - "only" words.
It is useless to be offended by them, re-educate, try to awaken conscience and compassion in them. They were born that way and they will die that way. These people seem to be deprived of an ordinary soul, noble motives and feelings are not characteristic of them. Intentionally or unintentionally, they always bring evil to those who are in contact with them. Gratitude, compassion, faith in goodness, morality and nobility are alien to them. They have their own ethics, where only what is beneficial or pleasant to them is good.
Such people quickly forget those who love them. Gratitude and pity are not characteristic of them. Irresponsibility, pettiness, spitefulness often underlie their nature. Marriage with these people is usually devoid of affection and sympathy. These are spoiled animals, not kindred creatures. They are the bearers of barnyard morality. And they always bring suffering to people, but especially to those who love them. Anyone who has the misfortune to love such a person becomes especially defenseless against psychic aggression...
In general, it happens that a friend or stranger begins to speak very rudely to you, or in some other way shows you his disdain. Sometimes this is done on purpose in the presence of your relatives, friends or employees in order to humiliate you more.
Elementary rudeness is not as harmless as it seems. This is not just a spoiled mood or wounded pride. Often such people intuitively know how to hit a person more painfully in an unprotected place, causing him suffering that does not subside for years. Everything is used - both an ironic smile at the right moment, and a bazaar shout ...
Who does not know these craftsmen who always find the exact word or the exact gesture to confuse or humiliate the weaker. After all, there are always defenseless creatures and those who are forced to depend on us: children, spouses, subordinates, prisoners, poor residents of hospitals, schoolchildren, petty officials. And besides, there are still religious, ethnic and sexual groups that can always become the object of bullying by representatives of the "majority" ...
Primitive people, I think, it was easier. Man did not accumulate anger, resentment or hatred. Well, they offended you, you take a club and - on the head of the offender. And if he is stronger than you, then it remains to run away from him, headlong - also "detente". Well, we live in a more or less civilized society. Often we do not have such an opportunity - to crack the offender on the head. It was only in Japan that they came up with the idea of putting a scarecrow of the boss at the firms, so that subordinates would be able to take out everything that had accumulated on the scarecrow, rid themselves of the burden of negative emotions. But what should we do, citizens of a completely different country?
You need to be able to protect yourself!
The bad thing is that such people usually have every opportunity to hurt our pride and humiliate our dignity. And at every step they forbid us to offend their feelings. They may offend you, but you are usually denied such a right, - says psychologist E. Shostrom. - Such a person does not want to let you be angry with him. Still, then he wasted his own nerves? As soon as you wanted to be indignant at his meanness and give a worthy rebuff, he puts his finger to his lips and says: “Shh, calmly, quietly, don’t be upset, it’s harmful.” “Don't get upset… Control yourself… Take it easy…” - they constantly advise you. Do not believe, and then such people are not afraid of you. Remember - the main protection against their destructive influence - in the ability to spontaneously and sincerely express their own feelings. The main thing is that they are not afraid to show their feelings, whether it be anger, resentment or rage.
By confidently expressing your feelings about the situation, your opinion about what is happening, you, due to such relaxed behavior, arouse the sympathy of others and set them up in favor of your opinion. Such a response to psychological aggression puts the aggressor in an uncomfortable position and forces him to correct his behavior. This confidence will develop gradually in the course of mastering the materials of this course.
In situations of confrontation, when you are pressured by statements that affect your dignity, the ability to show restraint and self-control comes to the fore. Doing this is not easy at all. But it's extremely important. This is where relaxation exercises can help. Here are some ways to achieve this state.
Method 1 (Suspension). When talking with people who can have a negative influence on you, first of all mentally separate them with a screen of thick glass, visualize this screen until you feel complete reality. You see and hear the interlocutor, but his anger and hatred does not pass to you. Create a screen between you. Imagine an impenetrable wall. What you build it from is up to your imagination. From armored glass, just dense air, a magnetic field... And you will suddenly see how your "well-wishers" will become absolutely indifferent to you. In this case, the change is dramatic. They suddenly become polite and calm. Even benevolent ones. Most often, they have a feeling of respect beyond their control for a person whom they cannot “break through”. In relation to a person who brings you out of balance, but is not present next to you, the psycho-technique of mental separation from him by a wall is used with the following verbal formulation: “You simply do not exist. I can't see or hear you, you don't exist at all."
Method 2 (Glance). Negative information affects hearing the most. Therefore, in tense situations, attention should be fixed not on auditory sensations, but on visually perceived objects. The opponent, annoying you, continues to say something, and you, in order to isolate yourself from the effect of his speech, try to see his face - as clearly as possible, in all details, as if you were going to then draw his portrait from memory. You should look silently, very carefully, but not “stare”, namely, consider. During this deliberate pause, try to see as many details of the situation around the excited interlocutor as possible. Whoever the opponent is - a casual passerby, boss, colleague or subordinate, your sudden, unexpected silence will certainly cause a weakening of his pressure.
Method 3 (Visualization). The situation that disturbs you is played out in your imagination, as if on an internal screen, and thereby extinguishes anger. You are watching the development of the situation as if from the outside. Imagine yourself as a viewer watching a feature film in which you play the lead role. To visualize, you need to relax, focus on internal sensations and bring your breathing back to normal. The following options are recommended below:
1) reduce the height of the person who caused your anger, let him be a dwarf, gnome or insect;
2) try to see this person in a funny way (for example, in shorts and a helmet);
3) imagine anger as a beam of energy that goes through you into the offender;
4) come up with a scene of an imaginary revenge in relation to your offender and enjoy the "revenge".
Persons who pose a threat of psychological or physical violence can be classified into three large groups.
1) mentally normal people without visible deviations in behavior;
2) mentally normal people, but in a state of alcoholic or drug intoxication;
3) people with pathological mental disorders.
Let's focus on the first category. In general, it should be noted that a correct assessment of the situation is the first step towards solving the problem. The assessment of the person from whom the threat comes can be very superficial, or it can be quite deep. Depending on the situation, you decide what level of analysis is needed to make a decision. It is hardly advisable to find out the level of intelligence or the presence of a sense of humor in a tram boor or a person who has already swung to strike. But when sorting out relations with a sadistic boss who bullies you every day, a deep psychological analysis of his personality is already necessary.
When coming into contact with a person who threatens or insults you, first of all, pay attention to the degree of his aggressiveness. Is it directed against you personally or is it a general aggressiveness. The latter is usually characteristic of people who live according to the principle "I am offended by the whole world." They like to see the cause of their own failures in others. In this case, you simply act as an object that accidentally fell into their hands, on which they gladly pour out their bile and dissatisfaction with life. Such subjects are very common, for example, in urban transport.
If you meet such a person, it is important to determine the emotional state of your "well-wisher". The speed of his actions, the degree of aggressiveness, the ability to conduct a dialogue with him, the ability to avoid the onset of undesirable consequences for you depends on the state.
The tactics of your behavior are chosen from the emotional state of the enemy. You can choose the tactics of the behavior of a person who is not afraid of a fight. In this case, you should demonstrate your calmness and self-confidence to the enemy. If you notice anger in an opponent, then your calmness can somewhat reduce the degree of his anger. If you observe contempt in the enemy, then the best way to influence him is to maintain self-esteem. If you notice fear in him, then show him not only calmness, but also self-confidence, your own strength, and sometimes even aggressive behavior towards him.
2. Formation of skills to notice and understand aggressive body language and statements.
Let's try to give a description of some of the emotional states that are characteristic of the situations we are considering, and show how, by external signs, you can determine what emotions a person experiences when he attacks you with rudeness or ridicule.
FEAR
Most often, the person who attacks you with rudeness or ridicule is afraid himself. This is not as paradoxical as it might seem at first glance. Fear can be completely different properties.
With fear, as a rule, there is a sharp contraction of the muscles, stiffness in movements appears, and the movements themselves become somewhat uncoordinated, trembling of the hands, especially the tips of the fingers and legs, is observed. The eyebrows are almost straight, slightly raised, their inner corners are shifted towards each other, the forehead is covered with horizontal wrinkles. The eyes are wide open, often accompanied by dilated pupils, the lower eyelid is tense, and the upper one is slightly raised. The mouth is open, the eyes are tense and slightly stretched. The gaze is not fixed on one object, but is perceived as running. Active sweating occurs, despite the fact that it can be quite cool indoors or outdoors. Sweat can be seen on the forehead, above the upper and below the lower lip. Sweaty neck, palms, armpits. A person, experiencing discomfort from what sweats, begins to wipe it. Paleness appears on the face.
ANGER
It is often this emotion that can be observed in aggressive behavior. The degree of its external manifestation can serve for you as a kind of indicator of the aggressiveness of the attacker.
The pose takes on a threatening character, the person looks as if he is preparing to throw. The muscles are tense, but there is no trembling characteristic of fear. The facial expression is frowning, the eyes can be fixed for a long time on the source of anger, the look is menacing. The nostrils dilate, the wings of the nostrils seem to tremble, the lips are pulled back, sometimes so much that they expose clenched teeth (grin). The face turns pale, but more often reddens. Sometimes you can notice how convulsions run through the face. The volume of the voice rises sharply, sometimes an angry person goes into a scream. The fists are clenched, sharp vertical wrinkles appear on the bridge of the nose, the eyes seem to turn into slits. With intense anger, a person looks like he is about to explode. Speech with notes of threat, through gritted teeth, can be interspersed with obscenities.
It should be noted that when angry, a person feels a surge of strength, becomes much more energetic and impulsive in his behavior. A feature of anger is that in this state a person feels the need for physical action, and the stronger the anger, the higher this need. Self-control is reduced or absent.
It is not easy to deal with an angry person. In this case, it is especially important to remain calm and demonstrate it to your counterpart. Be very careful with him, especially if you see and hear him for the first time in your life, and one careless word can cost a lot. An angry person is in an extreme degree of excitement, it is very difficult to break through to his logic, if he has one. That is why we must try to find out what exactly angered him. If he has any reason to hate you, try to find out the real reason. Maybe he claims your place in the sun, or maybe he's just jealous of you. The reasons can be very different (see the beginning of the chapter).
The very discussion of the reason can have a calming effect on an angry person: you give him the opportunity, even in terms that are offensive to you, to “let off steam”. If you see an increase in anger, if his face has become even redder, and the veins in his neck and arms are swollen, if the volume of his voice rises and he goes into a scream, his fists clenched, his body leaned forward, therefore, he is on the verge of a physical attack on you. If the muscles relax, the redness disappears, the fists open, the voice becomes normal volume and the threat disappears in it, then it is unlikely that he will begin aggressive actions.
If you want to reduce the level of confrontation, you should not enter into an argument with a person who is in such a state, and even more so, conduct it in a harsh manner. In a fit of anger, he may yell that will kill you. You can answer something like this: “Yes, you can easily do this, but what did I do wrong to you?” Such questions, asked in a calm tone, can to some extent reduce the degree of aggressiveness of the attacker, and perhaps this will begin a constructive dialogue with him. Try to be not just calm yourself, but even demonstratively relaxed (remember the relaxation exercises from the last chapter).
Practical exercise. Your internal tension always involuntarily causes a reciprocal tension in the one you are talking to. Try, for example, to gradually build up nervousness in a conversation, speaking louder and louder, and even turning to screaming. You will notice how your interlocutor will follow you and start talking in raised tones. On the contrary, if you speak more and more quietly, your interlocutor will also gradually “slow down”. When talking to an angry person, be attuned to his anger, but slightly below his level. And then gradually, calming your own state, calm the interlocutor.
CONTEMPT
Jealousy, greed, or rivalry can cause a person to feel contempt for you. Unlike anger, contempt rarely triggers the impulsive behavior of the person threatening you, but that is why it is more dangerous. Outwardly, it looks something like this: the head is raised up, and even if he is shorter than you, it seems that he is looking down at you. One can observe the pose of "detachment", as if he is moving away from the source that causes contempt. In posture, facial expressions, speech, superiority is observed. The particular danger of this state lies in the fact that it is a “cold” emotion and a person who despises you can take any action against you calmly and coolly. As a rule, the actions of such people are prudent, but if something does not work out as planned, then an emotion of anger may also appear. Combining these two emotions together carries even greater danger.
When you come across a person who shows you his contempt, keep your ears open. You can expect any dirty tricks from him, and he can do it quite calmly, while experiencing a sense of superiority over you. If he notices even a drop of fear or subservience on your part, then you will have even worse. Such a person will perceive a polite and correct attitude on your part as a sign of your weakness.
In this case, the first thing to do with him is to bring down the arrogance. These are aggressive actions on your part, demonstrating self-confidence to him, maintaining self-esteem, and possibly your superiority over him. Here you will be helped by rationalization of the situation, a kind of change in the rules of the game. An excellent application of this technique half a century ago was shown by Arkady Raikin in his immortal film "We met somewhere." The head of the station, contemptuously "shaving off" the audience and showing his power over it, suddenly changes as soon as the artist begins to play in front of him a tired and satiated big boss. The artist sees a midge in him - and the head of the station instantly turns into this midge, starting to “fly” and follow orders, without even asking about the real powers of the “owner” who was in his chair. Sincere awareness of your superiority, condescending goodwill, calm self-confidence have the necessary effect in 99 cases out of 100. There is only one condition for such an impact - your absolute inner confidence in just such a ratio of personal statuses - yours and your counterpart.
True, there may come a moment when anger is superimposed on contempt, and then such a person will become even more dangerous for you. Then it is difficult to start a dialogue, and it is even more difficult to conduct it: after all, he is filtering words through his teeth, as if doing a favor, that he is talking to you at all. We must try to "talk" him and show that what he is doing at the moment is so low that it undermines his dignity. If you manage to get such a person to look you in the eye, and even without contempt, but at least for a start with surprise, consider that you are on the right track.
DISGUST
Disgust, like anger or contempt, is also a feeling of hostility. It is also a negative emotion that can stimulate aggressive actions. A disgusted person looks like he has something disgusting in his mouth or smells extremely unpleasant for him. The nose wrinkles, the upper lip lifts up. Sometimes it seems that his eyes squint. As well as with contempt, there is a posture of "detachment", but without an expression of superiority. In an extreme expression of disgust, the person looks as if they are choking or spitting.
Combined with anger, disgust can cause highly aggressive behavior, as anger motivates an attack, and disgust a need to get rid of something unpleasant.
The person hurting you may also show outward signs of emotion. JOY . This means that you are very "lucky" and you stumbled upon a typical social psychopath, in common parlance - a hidden sadist. Rude and evil, they reveal themselves very early, from childhood, first with their penchant for torturing animals and their striking lack of affection for the closest people, and then with their deliberately unceremonious unwillingness to reckon with the most minimal comforts of those around them. Some of them are capable of spitting in a person’s face over a trifle, starting to swear loudly at the table with street abuse, breaking windows, dishes, furniture at the slightest quarrel, and all this is not so much due to excessive anger, but out of a desire to annoy others. But much more common are the so-called. hidden sadists who want to inflict pain and suffering on people as if on the sly, imperceptibly.
Practical exercise . Please take some time to put the description of emotional states into practice - observe the people you interact with at work or at home. Record their external reactions and movements. After two or three weeks of such classes, you will develop your powers of observation to the required level and you will easily notice the presence of certain emotions in people.
3. Fundamentals of psychological protection.
The basic rule of psychological defense is: Never lose sight of the enemy, watching his external reactions and movements. We always make visual contact, i.e. we look into his eyes.
When communicating with the subject attacking you, always try to look into his eyes and not turn your back. A strong-willed person is not afraid to look people in the eye. Therefore, if you look at the enemy briefly and immediately look away, he will take such behavior as a sign of weakness. The enemy will consider you an insecure and shy person who is not afraid to attack, humiliate, insult. It has been established that it is the uncertain look that most provokes the attack of psychopaths and criminals.
On the contrary, a calm, cold and confident look often disorients the enemy and unsettles him. Therefore, all martial artists specially train a "strong-willed" look that can "nail" the enemy. Remember how professional boxers drill each other with their eyes before a fight. He trembled, showed weakness, looked away - it means you are weaker, it means you have already lost before the fight even started. Special methods of eye training are also practiced in special services.
In situations of psychological confrontation, it is important to monitor your physical condition and appearance. If you have a straight back, even breathing and a firm look at the bridge of your opponent's nose, few people would think to take advantage of the situation and try to insult you. On the contrary, the manifestation of confusion is an indication of your defenselessness and provokes an attack. In the process of psychological struggle, a confident and steadfast gaze is crucial. A few tutorial recipes will be given below. In the meantime, please read the memoirs of a former course participant.
“I will not hide, at first I was skeptical about the proposed exercises for training the gaze. It was unclear why you need to stare at a point in the wall, while still not blinking? But the money for the course was paid, so I decided to try. It so happened that at first I trained not so much the power of my gaze as the power of will. It was very difficult for me to keep the regularity of classes. It was also very difficult to suppress the blink reflex - the eyes constantly strove to blink, and the exercise had to be started all over again. Gradually I was able to look at a dot or candle flame without blinking for 15 minutes or more. After about a month of classes, I began to notice that random passers-by or fellow travelers in the subway car, meeting my gaze, hastily look away. However, I did not attach any importance to this.
The next case was a turning point. One day, standing on the station platform, I was waiting for my train. Not far from me, a fat, red-faced fellow in obvious drunkenness, who looked like a typical market trader-shuttle trader, was sitting on a sausage, breaking off huge pieces. He ate so deliciously that I wanted to have a snack myself. Therefore, I was not surprised to notice another observer - a poorly dressed boy of about twelve, who looked at the chewing peasant with hungry eyes. I already wanted to hint: share, they say, with the child, but changed my mind and reached into my pocket for money. And then the red-faced suddenly reached out and kicked the boy, so much so that he crashed his head into the column.
Get out of here, goat!
The boy struggled to his feet and hobbled along the platform without looking back. Something broke in my soul, and I could hardly restrain the desire to beat the red-faced man on the spot. Stepping up to the peasant, I uttered quietly but clearly one single word:
Bastard!
The red-faced one was about to give a decent answer, but then he looked into my eyes. What happened next is something that I will remember for a long time. I looked at him calmly and intently, as if doing an exercise with a candle. He stood before me with a bloodshot face and wildly bulging eyes. This went on for about 10 seconds. Suddenly, the kid took a back seat, mumbled something indistinctly and, in confusion, flopped down on his bags and bundles. He admitted his defeat without a fight."
I hope you understand the importance of a confident and calm look in a conflict situation. In general, a mystical halo has long been formed around the gaze. It is even called the "magic look" or "the look of the hypnotist." In the East, there are several recipes for its development. You are offered only the most effective of them.
Method 1 Take a sheet of paper and draw a circle in ink or black ink the size of a two-kopeck coin (1.5 cm) in the center of it. Hang this sheet at a distance of 2-2.5 meters from you and for 15 minutes continuously and without blinking look at this black circle (the circle must be shaded in black). Imagine that some energy comes from a point between the eyebrows (this place was called the “third eye” by Eastern mystics) and rushes through the circle into the wall. By doing this daily, you will develop a “magic” look in yourself. A similar exercise can be done with a burning candle flame or with a copper plate hung at a distance of 2-3 meters. The main thing here is to learn how to suppress the blinking reflex.
Method 2 Slightly relaxing the muscles of the body, look at your reflection in the mirror. Look into your eyes or the bridge of your nose. Imagine that you are looking at your worst enemy. Without blinking, look at the point for 20-25 seconds. Gradually increase the duration of the exercise to 15-20 minutes. Try to look calmly and confidently, without straining your facial muscles.
Method 3 If you have a friend or class partner, you can work on the gaze technique together. Look into each other's eyes. This exercise is very reminiscent of the children's game "Who will review whom." Whoever blinked first or looked away - he lost. So he is psychologically weaker. This exercise is widely practiced, for example, in the training of intelligence officers. The one from the group of cadets who “reviews” all the others is usually the most strong-willed and confident person in the team. This is a potential leader who enjoys unquestioned authority. Others usually tend to obey him.
In everyday life, a gaze should not be abused, because people under it begin to get nervous. In addition, such a look is perceived by many men as a challenge. Usually, during a conversation, it is customary to periodically look away so as not to embarrass the interlocutor.
If you find yourself in a conflict situation and want to unbalance the enemy, choose a weak spot on his body or clothes (for example, crooked legs, bad teeth, dirty nails, unclean shoes, stain, fly, etc.) and intently, not blinking, look there. Your interlocutor will immediately become nervous. Well, if, in addition, you portray a barely noticeable caustic smile and arrogantly throw your head back, then only a very self-possessed person will be able to maintain composure. A distracted or directed past the eyes of the interlocutor (at the ear, forehead, chin, lips) will do the same, but in a more delicate and gentle form.
But the best thing is to look, without blinking, calmly and intently directly into the eyes of the enemy attacking you. After two or three minutes of such a duel, the weaker opponent usually backs down. Therefore, when playing such games, you must be absolutely confident in yourself.
***
All of the methods listed above are passive methods of psychological defense. If passive defense means "to block the aggressor" and minimize your negative state, then active defense means to openly expose the attack and strike back. You will learn about active and passive methods of protection in special chapters of our course.
Practical exercise. Spend a few days practicing the techniques described above. Try, "try on" each exercise. Next, choose those that you liked the most and (or) work out for you in the best way. Practice them regularly until they enter into your flesh and blood, become a natural part of you. When a stressful situation arises suddenly, associated with a psychological or physical threat, these exercises will help you quickly and effectively.
© The essay was prepared based on the materials of distance courses
What is the difference between fraternal help and aggression?
- Fraternal help is when five rush to one on a dark night. And aggression, when one in broad daylight rushes to five.
What is aggression? This is behavior aimed at intentionally causing harm and suffering to living beings - people and animals..
Therefore, when a child beats a teddy bear, this is not aggression, because the bear is not alive, he does not suffer, it is not harmful to him.
And when a mother hurts a child by pulling a splinter out of his finger, this is also not aggression, because by her actions she does not harm, but benefit, and the pain from pulling out a splinter is still much easier than the pain that occurs during suppuration if the splinter is not pulled out .
How is aggression different from aggressiveness?
Aggression is a phenomenon realized in specific behavior, and aggressiveness is a character trait of a person who systematically commits acts of aggression.
Today, anyone can become a victim of an aggressor. According to statistics, just by going out into the streets of your native city, you expose your life to daily unjustified risk! They can take your money away, tear off your clothes, drink you half to death and just kill you for the color of your skin! What is the reason for ruthless aggression, and how to protect yourself from it?
A truly protected person can manage yourself he will not be a sensitive mimosa who perceives every look or word as a threat to life, nor an insensitive chump who reacts to any psychological aggression about the same as the hero of the film "Prisoner of the Caucasus" "Experienced" on a real medical injection, which in the famous episode is given to him by a driver dressed as an orderly, who is trying to rescue a kidnapped bride.
Another important element of proper psychological defense is a self-sufficient benevolent position in relation to the world. It can be described as follows: We don’t owe anything to anyone and don’t ask anyone for anything (of course, except for what rightfully belongs to us), we don’t seek sympathy, we don’t fawn, and in our actions and decisions we prefer to rely, first of all, on themselves, and not on the opinions, attitudes and positions of other people. Although, of course, we take into account their position. Any position taken by a person builds around him a certain configuration of forces, relations of people and circumstances. The more dependent this position is on the opinions or attitudes of others and the more aggressive it is, the more psychological aggression the person will be attracted. And, on the contrary, the more a person is independent and at the same time benevolent, the less often he receives blows.
An effective reflection of any psychological blows is impossible if a person does not understand the laws of the world and human communication. Neither the world as a whole, nor individual people are under any obligation to love us. On the contrary, many of them are doomed to feel negative emotions against us, if only because we are very different from these people, or cross the road to their interests. An experienced swimmer in the stormy sea of \u200b\u200blife reacts to such a reaction calmly and balanced, ability to manage oneself helps him save a significant part of the nerves. But an inexperienced, naive person (as is most often the case in youth) expects people to treat him exceptionally well, and when he encounters the opposite, he suffers severely. By his unwillingness to accept the cruelty of this world, he opens himself to new blows, various kinds of psychological aggression.
Very vulnerable to psychological aggression there turn out to be people of an egocentric personality type, who are accustomed to constantly revolve their own attention around their beloved self and therefore react extremely painfully to the opinions of other people, and even more so to criticism. They do not know how to separate "flies from cutlets" in the process of business communication and look at other people through the narrow prism of a personal attitude towards them. On the contrary, a truly protected person is always knows how to master himself and his emotions, first of all he thinks about the business, in the interests of which he is often ready to curb personal ambitions, neglect personal attitude towards himself and interact with those who treat him with hostility.
Worldly wisdom rightly asserts that the best defense is an attack. In this case, we are talking not so much about proactive aggressive behavior, but about the active position of a person who is constantly on the move. The one who is always dynamic is much harder to attack because he is elusive. In addition, due to the higher speed of internal processes and psychological reactions, it is easier to get rid of the black energy of the blows received. He simply dissolves this energy and becomes an even more protected person.
When a person’s psychological defense strategy is based on the listed elements, that is, on:
- ability to manage oneself developed self-control and conscious presence in any situation;
Understanding your own interests and goals;
Good understanding of people and quick reactions to any psychological blow;
Self-sufficient and at the same time benevolent position in relation to the world and people;
The right attitude towards the world and people who are not obliged to love us;
The ability during conflicts and clashes to rely on the interests of the cause, and not on the subjective attitude towards us from other people;
Active purposeful unchanging position,
then it will be much easier for us to apply any reflection technique psychological aggression further.
Psychological security is a property of a mature personality, which depends on intelligence, attentiveness, a penchant for analysis, critical thinking and emotional stability. We offer you some proven methods of psychological protection in practice.
If you get stung by one or even several bees, it can be good for your health. But if you are attacked by a swarm of wasps or you find yourself a victim of a bite of a poisonous snake, then you will not do well. Your competitors, ill-wishers or enemies are capable of causing you no less harm, just using words that hurt your soul as a psychological weapon. And the longer you worry about this, the more likely you are to be in the camp of the losers.
“If a person shows that he is irritated and unable to control his emotions, he needs to do something else, and not work with people,” the Frenchman Michel Fadoul, who has achieved brilliant success in business at the world level, confidently stated.
Psychological security is a property of a mature personality. It consists of a whole complex of such characteristics as the level of intelligence, worldview attitudes, attentiveness, a tendency to analyze and reflect, critical thinking, and emotional stability.
Ask yourself and others magical questions more often: what, where, when, how, why and why? Try to imagine the whole panorama and dynamics of the event, to see the whole picture as a whole and note the contradictions, inconsistencies and white spots, carefully consider the details. They are the necessary material for assessing the reliability of information.
We offer you several methods of psychological defense developed by us and tested in our trainings.
Reception "Fan". Analyze what you react to most painfully. What annoys you? What infuriates or discourages you? Remember the specific words, intonations, gestures of your opponents or offenders.
Close your eyes and remember again all the most offensive, biting, burning words that make you feel confused and worthless or powerful outbursts of aggression.
Now imagine that you are sitting opposite the person who inflicts these psychological blows on you. It is he who speaks cruel, hurtful words to you. And you feel like you are already starting to "wind up". Bring on the feeling of being hit. What part of your body reacts to it? What is happening: is there a heat in the whole body, or is something shrinking inside, or maybe just breathing is interrupted? What exactly is happening to you?
Use the emotional ventilation technique. Imagine that between you and the offender there is a powerful fan, which immediately takes his words to the side, their sharp arrows do not reach you.
And further. Make a figure with your right hand and cover it with the palm of your left hand. Mentally direct it to the person who is trying to throw you off balance. Remember how the same fig helped you "revenge" the offender as a child.
Open your eyes, and you will surely feel that you are now able to withstand such a psychological blow.
Reception "Aquarium". If, when dealing with people who are negatively disposed towards you, you continue to react painfully to their attacks, use this technique. Imagine that between you and your offender there is a thick glass wall of an aquarium. He says something unpleasant to you, but you only see him, but you don’t hear the words, they are absorbed by the water and only bubble with foam on the surface. That's why they don't work for you. And you, without losing self-control and peace of mind, do not succumb to provocation, do not react to offensive words. And thanks to this, you turn the situation in your favor.
Reception "Disneyland". The morbidity of a psychological blow can be mitigated, if not completely eliminated, by treating all people as if they were small children. You do not take offense at unintelligent children?
Imagine that you are alone against a whole group of people who are negative towards you. The preponderance of forces is on their side. And you have only one chance to turn the tide: imagine them as a group of children on the playground. They get angry, act up, scream, wave their arms, throw toys on the floor, trample them with their feet. In general, they try their best to piss you off. But you, as an adult, wise person, treat their antics like childish pranks and continue to maintain imperturbable calm until they run out of steam. You do not perceive their words as insults, do not react to their attacks. It's funny for you to watch all this as an adult ...
Reception "Fox and grapes". If there were cases in your past when someone managed to annoy you so that the experience of defeat is still there, use the technique of rationalization, removing negative "anchors". Remember the fable "The Fox and the Grapes": not reaching for the bunch of grapes, the fox said that she did not really want grapes - they are sour and green.
Reception "Ocean of calm". Imagine yourself as the main character of the parable: "The ocean receives the waters of many turbulent rivers, and at the same time remains motionless. The one into whom all thoughts and emotions also flow remains impassive at rest."
Reception "Theatre of the Absurd". You can use such a technique of psychological defense as bringing the situation to the point of absurdity. This is basically the same thing as making an elephant out of a fly. That is, to exaggerate out loud beyond recognition what someone is only hinting at, and thus unexpectedly knock psychological weapons out of the hands of their enemies or ill-wishers. Your goal is to make sure that any attacks of the ill-wisher no longer cause anything but laughter. This is the solution to the problem of how to protect yourself from a psychological attack.
Reception "Puppet Theatre". If you find it difficult to communicate with people who are emotionally significant to you, use this technique. Imagine that they are just caricatured characters from the TV show "Dolls". And let them say stupid things while talking to each other. And you just observe it from the outside and make your assessments. Like, this smart guy is pretending to be a superman, and the other is playing a strong personality, a professional, and he is a weakling, just bluffing. Play this show until you laugh. Your laughter is an indicator that the technique has worked.
Antonina Glushchak
press secretary and leading specialist of the Academy of Irrational Psychology
From the site
Discussion
Thanks for the article. Very useful. It is like a pill, but there are no side effects from it.
yesterday, on the street, a drunk passing by kicked me in the kidney and went on.
09/21/2008 11:56:22 am, lightsI parked my car in front of the store. The old woman, not noticing me, almost jumped under my wheels, although I saw her and moved very carefully. How she screamed! I turned out to be a reptile, and a murderer, and a hamlo, and I will definitely get into an accident soon.
At first I just wanted to kill her, but after thinking a little, he said to her to himself "thanks for the warnings, I'll be more careful." The tension immediately subsided, I didn’t want to kill anyone anymore.
And I liked the fig. At my last job, I just had such a boss, he constantly yelled and insulted employees. He brought all the girls to tears. It was humiliating for me to cry in his office, so I had my own reception. Every time he tried to hurt me, insult and humiliate me, I imagined him at home, in huge families, scratching his belly or farting :)) His image of an evil, boorish freak immediately dissipated and all that was left was to hold back a smile.
08.10.2004 14:02:31, NewbieAnd you can also take a vow of silence and not talk to anyone, or hide as a hermit in a cave and not get out - what is not protection? I was also pleased with the last trick - "Theater of the Absurd" - especially suitable in a conversation with the authorities "on the carpet" :)
Comment on the article "Take the hit: methods of psychological defense"
I think there is a defense technique in psychology (correct me if it doesn’t exist, or it exists and has a name), when, so to speak, the “accused” begins to ask questions out of place. Take the hit: methods of psychological defense.
Aggressive child in the classroom. School, secondary education, teachers and students, homework, tutor, holidays. aggression in class 1. Tell me how to get rid of an uncontrollable and aggressive child in the classroom, if everything ...
Working-psychological. ... I find it difficult to choose a section. About his own, about a girl's. I use the carrot and stick method, like keeping it strict, but also pestering my employees. 3. If they buy anyway, do you have a "project protection" system?
But sometimes background behavior becomes aggressive - the child attacks himself, focuses on bad heroes in fairy tales, says offensive words. This does not mean that he suddenly became bad. This means that there is an irritant that constantly brings his aggression into ...
Aggressive behavior is one of the most common disorders among preschool children, as it is Aggressiveness is a personality trait that is expressed in readiness for aggression. Aggressive child: understand and help.
Emotions boil and boil. Take the hit: methods of psychological defense. Use the emotional ventilation technique. He, into whom all thoughts and emotions also flow, remains impassive at rest.
How to overcome psychological constipation? Hello everybody! I very rarely write in this conference, but suddenly someone's experience will help us, because hands A also told us that psychological constipation. I understand you very well. I wish you get rid of this problem as soon as possible!
Aggression in games The psychology of the game. When I took a psychological test at the Central Health Center, we were asked to draw a non-existent animal. Or, another, the same lion showed its aggression in the process of protecting a weak character.
Take the hit: methods of psychological defense. Open your eyes, and you will surely feel that you are now able to withstand such a psychological blow. The task of parents is to teach the child the civilized expression of this aggression.
And in general, aggression during this period is something - psychological protection, or how to call it? Aggression in a child is a way to express himself. And protect, and convey what you can’t do otherwise, for example, to attract attention, or to express resentment.
We offer you some proven methods of psychological protection in practice. Author of the article: Glushchak Antonina. And you can also take a vow of silence and not talk to anyone, or hide as a hermit in a cave and not get out - what is not protection?
Surely there are some ways, alternative, non-drug, to relieve this very tension!!! I'm just all exhausted, twitchy (it's very difficult to be next to such a motor that wants to hug - it knocks me down, I'm already covered in bumps and bruises ...
Referring to the game as a game, and not as a measure of his own personality, the child, at will, can use the competition as a means of self-development. First competition? How to set up and support?
How to respond to aggression? Marriage. Family relationships. How to respond to aggression? We had a very difficult time in our family. We faced a difficult task, the solution of which required mobilizing all our forces and living in such a rhythm for more than six months.
How to resist aggression? Relationships with children. Child psychology. Every child is born with a certain amount of aggressiveness. The task of parents is to teach the child the civilized expression of this aggression.
Swearing, this is certainly aggression. Violent films are almost never on TV with him (exceptions happen every six months. And we practice punishment (“sit in your room alone and think about your behavior”). But I don’t see a way to reduce this aggression.
Here, in many topics, the topic of the psychological protection of the child from various external factors periodically pops up: from annoying adults, from stress when meeting with the unpleasant realities of life. The method of “mirror” reflection of the attacks of annoying grandmothers was very memorable ...
