Self-development. This word is heard more and more often in modern society. And the word “self-development”, as a rule, means such a wide range of activities that people with completely different worldviews, goals, values ​​and capabilities can engage in self-development. The word “self-development” today means everything from pumping muscles in the gym to very strange religious rituals. What is “self-development”, and most importantly, why do you need to do it at all and how to do it in order to benefit both yourself and others?

In fact, how many people ask themselves the question “Why do you need to engage in self-development?” Self-development is a fashionable trend, and the one who is engaged in self-development is a priori considered a self-sufficient person, or striving to become one. But one of the main principles of sanity says that before each of our actions, we need to ask ourselves why we are doing it and what benefit it will bring.

All living beings (and not only people) in one way or another strive to find happiness and wish to avoid suffering. The only difference is that the level and quality of happiness is different for everyone. It is hard to argue with the fact that the pleasure of tasty (and most often unhealthy) food and the pleasure of creating or helping other people give us a feeling of happiness. But it is already difficult to agree with the fact that this happiness is of the same quality. Firstly, in the case of tasty and unhealthy food, we get pleasure in combination with harm to health, and secondly, happiness is short-term, and from the point of view of emotions and sensations, it is rather flat. So to speak, the happiness of the 2D format. What can not be said about the happiness that we get from creativity with some kind of positive message or from helping other people - such happiness benefits everyone around, and most importantly, it is longer and more emotionally saturated. Well, everything is clear with happiness - the higher its quality, the longer it lasts and brings more joy. But what does this have to do with self-development? The most direct.

The further a person advances along the path of self-development, the higher the level of his happiness becomes and, importantly, the less his happiness depends on external conditions. In the modern world, self-development is most often understood as development at the bodily level, less often at the mental level, and extremely rarely at the spiritual level. No one, of course, calls to be inspired by the example of the penitent robber from the famous work of Nekrasov and “put the body to torture”, saving the soul. Extremes should be avoided in everything, but the emphasis in self-development only on the bodily level - unfortunately, most often leads to spiritual degradation. And how to determine which path of self-development is harmonious? The main sign that a person is moving in the right direction in terms of self-development is when his happiness becomes less and less dependent on external conditions.

How to do self-development

How to engage in self-development and where to start? As mentioned above, self-development can be on three levels: physical, mental and spiritual. And if one of these aspects is a priority, and the other two are, as it were, by the way, then such self-development cannot be called harmonious. And one of the main aspects of self-development is motivation. Why does a person strive to become better? To impress others? To please someone? To improve the quality of life? To become more effective in studies, work, sports, family life? If a person's motivation is purely selfish, such development will also not be harmonious. Because the world is arranged in such a way that everything in it is interconnected, and one person cannot become happy when everyone around him - friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbors - is deeply unhappy. And another sign of the right path to development is when the reality around a person begins to change for the better. If a person notices that his self-development is gradually changing the lives of those around him for the better, then he is on the right path. Therefore, before thinking about how to engage in self-development, you must first decide what you need it for.

Therefore, the first thing to do is to draw up at least some kind of daily routine, or at least exclude the most time-consuming actions that do not bring objective benefits, but rather are done out of habit. You will be surprised how much free time you will have when you approach each of your actions consciously, honestly wondering what is the real benefit in this action. It will also help to go to bed early and wake up earlier. The hormones necessary for a fulfilling life are produced from 10 pm to 5 am. And it is desirable to sleep at this time. The time before midnight is especially important: there is an opinion that it is at this time that the physical and mental forces of the body are restored, and if a person is awake at this time, the body and psyche are exhausted.

Next, pay attention to nutrition. And this is not only related to the bodily level: it has long been noted that the food we consume greatly affects consciousness. And if the diet contains harmful, artificial, refined food, as well as food that is the result of violence against animals - meat, fish, eggs, seafood, and so on - this will have an extremely negative effect on our consciousness. The fact is that in the human body everything is interconnected, and what enters our stomach and intestines is carried by blood throughout the body, including entering the brain. Can a brain poisoned by some of the chemicals in refined foods, or the hormones and antibiotics infused in meat foods, work smoothly and efficiently? The question is rhetorical.

What to study for self-development

So, with the initial stage of self-development, everything is clear. It is necessary to adjust the daily routine and nutrition. And even this alone will make you happier and healthier. But this is only the beginning. How to directly engage in self-development? To do this, we need information that at the initial stage will tell us the right path. As mentioned above, self-development is a very fashionable trend in our society, so a lot of books on how to become happy and successful have already been written, and even more will be written in the future. How reliable can all of them be? Let's try to figure it out.

If you observe our society, you can come to the conclusion that the motivations of people in it are most often purely selfish. Therefore, any kind of self-development also most often pursues selfish goals - to become healthier, richer, more successful, and, as a rule, at any cost. Therefore, modern books on self-development are mostly written according to the principle “demand creates supply”. If people are much more interested in how to become richer and more successful, how to make a career, and so on, then most of the literature will be focused on this. There are, of course, worthy books, but, as they say, a spoonful of honey in a barrel of tar.

What to do? No one is advising you to stop reading books altogether. There is a simple principle: the text from which we want to draw some information must be time-tested. And, based on this theory, you need to read the most ancient writings, because if the text has already survived several centuries, or even millennia, it is probably not just some kind of pseudo-philosophical writing. From this point of view, the most relevant will be the Vedic scriptures, or any sacred scriptures of world religions. However, if these are some relatively young texts, then there are also many questions for them. The most interesting in terms of knowing yourself and the world around you will be such texts as, (part of the Mahabharata).

Buddhist sacred texts can also be interesting. For example, which is considered the quintessence of the Buddha's Teachings. And the Buddha himself said that this sutra is "the first among all the sutras." A very inspiring philosophical text can be called written by the monk-philosopher Shantideva. At the initial stage, such complex texts may seem difficult to understand. Then you can start with something simpler. For example, many works by Paulo Coelho make you think about life, about its values, about finding a purpose, and so on. The same can be said about the works of many Russian writers from the time of Tsarist Russia. Therefore, the choice is incredibly large, and everyone will be able to find something that will resonate in his heart.

How to learn self-development

How to engage in self-development and not “cool down” after a couple of weeks, as is often the case? This is due to low motivation. At first, a person “lights up”, and then more and more often he is overcome by doubts: “Why is this necessary, everything is so good, what are these efforts for?” etc. Therefore, motivation is important. At the initial stage, motivation can be very simple: improve your health, financial situation, relationships with others, and so on. But the fact is that if you have chosen an adequate development path, then you will achieve these goals very quickly. If you just fix your diet by replacing it with a healthier one, adjust your daily routine and start behaving more consciously, then, as a rule, problems with health, finances and people around you are mostly quickly resolved. And here, oddly enough, a difficult period arises - what to do next? Suffering has stopped - there is no motivation to move on. And here a person has two ways: he either stops developing (and as you know, if there is no evolution, degradation sets in), or he gives rise to a new motivation in his heart - he has a desire to help others based on the experience that he himself has acquired.

When a person embarks on the path of self-development and reaches a level where most of his own suffering has ceased, this means that he can effectively help others. And at this stage there is often a period of fanaticism, when a person seeks to "catch up with everyone and do good to everyone." In principle, this can be said to be a certain stage of development. Then the person realizes that not everyone needs help, and many are happy in all their problems and suffering and simply do not want to change anything. Therefore, you should not fanatically impose the path of self-development on everyone. But if you see that a person is suffering and is ready to change something, then based on your experience you can help him. And the motivation to help others will be a new level of development for you too, which will allow you to move on - to new horizons. In general, for the sake of this, everything was originally started - to develop in order to be effective in helping other people.

Self-development is an independent process of self-improvement, conditioned by the goal, which is implemented mainly by acquiring new and developing existing skills, as well as by overcoming bad habits.

Thus, self-development (self-improvement) is the path that leads you to a happy and healthy life.

Self-improvement helps you develop your personality in such a way that even the people around you become happier.

If you still decide to change your "I" for the better, you should be prepared for various debilitating physical and emotional stress.

In order to walk your path and begin to live the life of your dreams, the life that you are proud of and enjoy, you need to become the best version of yourself, the person that you should be.

The starting point of self-development is the choice made.

Then you need to follow the steps below, which will contribute to self-improvement.

As you move forward, your priorities and ways of personal development may change.

For example, at first you decide to learn one type of activity, but as you deepen and gain professionalism, it is quite possible that you will realize that in fact you have a passion for something else.

When you embark on the path of self-development, you will notice that people who are dissatisfied with themselves will confront you, dissuade you from your plans, or try to confuse you. Don't let them.

1. Decide what you want to achieve in life

What do you want from life? Perhaps this is one of the most important questions that every person should ask himself.

All people want something, but only a few have conscious goals and make meaningful plans.

However, the reality is that if you do not decide for yourself what you want to achieve in life, someone else will do it for you.

There are always people around you who will try to impose their own vision on this issue.

But it is up to you to decide in which direction to move, and whether it is worth putting into practice the advice of others.

These people will include everyone around, but the greatest influence on you will be, firstly, your parents, whose advice, most often, is based on their own experience.

Secondly, your friends, many of whom do not know what they want at all, and very often can only lead you astray.

In general, of course, you need to listen to the words of your environment. But do not forget that only you are the person who has the right to lead your life, and therefore no one should be allowed to reshape your fate according to someone else's scenario. This is your choice and your life.

If you really do not want to go to university for the specialty proposed by your parents, having well-founded reasons and sincere unwillingness to engage in this type of activity, then you should not do this.

If you know what your tendencies are, and you can imagine at least in general terms how you will be able to realize them, then be sure to move in a direction close to your heart.

If you can imagine it, you can do it.
Walt Disney

It is very important to understand that “We become what we think about”, and this expression is so true that it is even difficult to imagine.

This is the fundamental secret of the universe, which can also be described in other words: "In order to receive something, you must first give."

The basis in this case is the focus of your attention. If you focus on negative thoughts, you will get negative results. By focusing on positive thinking, you will achieve positive results, at least sooner or later.

So come very responsibly and find out for yourself what you want to achieve in life, what do you want to do, who do you want to become?

2. Identify your problems and shortcomings that can be fixed

Identify those negative or missing points in your life that you would like to correct.

For example, you can conclude for yourself that every day you go to bed late, smoke, drink alcohol, earn little money, are overweight, feel bad, etc.

Face it, make a list of your problems and shortcomings. This list can be anything, but try to include only really relevant issues, not just those that other people have mentioned.

To begin self-development, you should understand what, in fact, should be developed in yourself.

For each item on your list, write a small plan and a reason to fix it.

As a way, you can mark the need to sign up for a gym or pool, doing physical exercises at home, or street jogging.

Your mind can rationalize anything. Having explained to him the true state of affairs and the validity of the tasks that have arisen, he will become your faithful servant on the path of personal development.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is there anything I would like to change?
   I don't have my own apartment, I don't like my job, my relationship with my girlfriend is on edge, I'm stressed or anxious, etc.
2. Is there anything I would like to have?
   I have no relatives either, I haven't traveled for a long time, there is no career advancement, I don't earn much, I feel unhappy, etc.
3. Is there anything I should give up?
   I drink too much alcohol, I eat junk food, I treat my parents badly, I spend too much time on social media, I'm too short-tempered, etc.
   
4. Am I doing what I like?
   Start planning your life, learn to prioritize, exercise, find a hobby, read books, find a better job, etc.
   
5. Do I want to change?
   Change your bad mood, low self-esteem, dependence on others, your own laziness, anxiety, existing negativity, your fears, etc.
   
6. Am I not implemented?
   I'm not successful enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm overweight, I'm a loser, etc.
   

The answers to these questions will allow you to formulate your goals that need to be realized.

3. Make a plan for self-development

At this stage, you begin to detail ways to move towards your goal.

Creating a self-development plan may seem like a daunting task, but there is nothing overly complicated in it.

The most important thing is behind, because you have already realized your life guidelines. Once you've figured out what you want, let your mind figure out ways in which you can achieve your goals.

If you can clearly imagine a self-development ship leaving the harbor with a crew on board and choosing its course of navigation, in 99 percent of cases out of 100 it will succeed in reaching its destination.

Along the way, your conqueror of the ocean of life's problems may encounter unforeseen obstacles, such as the depletion of fuel supplies and the need to replenish them.

He may have to anchor for a while and provide the crew members with a good rest.

Despite all this, the captain of the ship will not forget about the laid route and, as a result, the destination will be reached.

To create a plan of action, study information about possible ways to achieve your goal. And the first thing you can do is find the necessary information using search engines on the Internet.

Whether you want to start a business in your niche, create a home workout plan, or develop a sense of style, do your research in your area of ​​interest.

Include in the plan the actions that you must complete every day, every week, or every month in order to realize your plan.

4. Start moving towards your goal

You have already defined your goal, and now you know how to achieve it, so start every day to take those actions that will bring you closer to it.

On the path of your self-development, you will find that you want to change other qualities in yourself, and this is wonderful.

For example, as you improve your dressing skills, you may notice that your hairstyle also needs a change.

The process of self-development, most likely, will not be an easy undertaking, however, almost any innovation in your life first leads to some confusion and confrontation with the usual foundations of your life.

And yet remember that as long as you are focused on your dream, nothing else matters.

5. Stay moving

As a rule, development is associated with a certain level of pain. But only in this way you can feel your progress and improve your own skills.

5. Lifelong improvement

Having chosen the path of self-development, you will no longer be the same and will not be able to stop in self-improvement.

For you, this means your ability to change for the better so much that at the very beginning you will not even assume that this is possible, because the result you receive will become the starting point for the implementation of new plans.

6. New features

Self-development will open up new opportunities for you. All that is required of you is to be willing to recognize and implement them.

7. Improving the quality of life

Self-development in general contributes to the growth of your standard of living.

You don't just get better as a person by learning new skills. As a result of your internal changes, everything around you begins to change.

You gain better health and well-being, start doing what you love, your relationships with others improve, and life itself ceases to seem like alternating scenes of work and boring life, but takes on the image of a game.

Having passed a series of obstacles and trials, you become happier, and problems that once seem to you at a new level of thinking can only bring a smile to your face.

Self-development plan

Have you ever gone on a trip during your vacation without planning ahead? Probably not.

It is very difficult to enjoy a trip if you constantly need to think about where to sleep, what to eat and where to move on.

It is much easier to travel when you have an idea of ​​the destination as well as a plan for what to do next.

The same is true with the journey of your life. Very few people take the time to plan it out, so it's no wonder they end up asking themselves, "How did I get here?"

That is why it is so important to prepare a plan in advance. However, most people find it easier to ignore the current state of affairs than to try to make the necessary changes.

There are other benefits of making a self-development plan. If you ever feel lost in life, you can simply look into your plan and remind yourself where you are going.

A personal development plan is your guide in life, with the help of which you gain control over your destiny and can.

A self-development plan will help you expand your knowledge, develop new skills, or improve important areas of your life.

So what elements does a self-development plan include?

1. Define your goals

The first step is to identify the goals that are truly important to you.

They may be related to career, personal life, health, or the desire to acquire a new skill (for example, to learn a foreign language).

What is important to you? What new skills do you want to acquire? What achievements will make you happy? Do you have unfulfilled dreams? Do you want a better job?

Write down 5 to 10 goals that matter to you.

2. Prioritize

Of all the goals you wrote down, which do you think is the most important? It will become the main strategic task on which you should focus your attention.

Perhaps you want to pursue career development, get in better shape, or learn new skills.

Think of skills that, in addition to their immediate benefits, have a positive impact on other areas of life.

6. Define new skills

If you want to have what you never had, start doing what you have never done.
Richard David Bach

In other words, in order to achieve something that you have never achieved before, you need to develop skills that you never had.

You should start working on these skills as soon as possible. To do this, determine what skills and knowledge will help you achieve your goal, and make a list of them.

7. Take action

If you want to realize a big goal, you have a lot of work to do.

Write down at least 3 to 5 most important tasks that you need to complete within a certain period of time.

8. Get Support

Who can help you achieve your goals on a fast track?

If you want to lose weight, you can contact a fitness trainer. If you want to start a business, find an outlet with people who have experience in the niche you are interested in, who will not be your competitors (for example, entrepreneurs from another region). If you want to become a master of the word, sign up for courses in oratory.

Make a list of people who can help you reach your goals.

9. Progress

The best motivator to keep moving forward is your own progress. Even if it is insignificant, you will get a portion of pleasure and a boost of energy.

It is important to evaluate your achievements, as well as draw conclusions about what can be improved. If something goes wrong, then you should change the strategy you are using.

Write down all conclusions based on the results of the evaluation of the results obtained, which will determine the need for appropriate adjustments.

Your task is to make all available resources work for you.

Skills useful forself-improvement

1. Learning foreign languages

In the modern world, in the conditions of mass globalization, knowledge of a foreign language can become an invaluable personal asset.

And while you shouldn't expect to be fluent in another language in a couple of months, even knowing the basics can be a very useful skill in certain situations.

2. Meditation

19. Learn to deal with “difficult” people

There are cases when it is not possible to avoid unpleasant people in communication, for example, on duty.

Learn to deal with these "difficult" objects, as this people management skill will be a very useful tool for you throughout your life.

20. Learn to let go of the past

Is there any resentment or an unpleasant memory from the past that does not want to leave you? If so, it's time to let it go on all four sides.

The stranglehold that your brain holds on to this negative yet intense emotion prevents you from moving forward and becoming the best version of yourself.

Forgive yourself, forget about past events and continue on your way.

21. Rest

Have you been working too hard lately? In this case, you should take a break, you are not a robot with a perpetual motion machine.

Make time for yourself every week. Relax, get distracted, as a result of which you will receive a boost of energy to move on.

• What is self-development
• • Willpower
  • Motivation
  • Memory
  • Time planning
  • Discipline
  • Psychology
  • Self-esteem
  • Self-confidence
• Relations

• "Secret"
• "Pay Another"

• Bruce Lee "Way of the Preemptive Fist"
• Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching"

What is self-development

The personality of a person is a variable. Over the course of life, it undergoes many changes, depending on what tests we endure and what tasks we set for ourselves. And even living in the same rhythm and adhering to a stable schedule, we change. Often - not for the better, because the lack of development almost always entails degradation.

Many have an identity crisis at the age of 30-35. At these moments, we understand that just living and working is not enough. That we want something deeper and more global from ourselves, that the minimums do not suit us, and that not everything can be measured with money and other tangible measures.

Someone comes to this earlier, someone later, and someone does not come at all. For some people, the trigger is a shock, for others, insight occurs naturally and gradually. As a result, there is a desire to take the path of self-development, to stop making demands on the world and start working on oneself, engaging in self-development.

What is self-development? This is a constant and complex process of working on oneself, developing one's positive qualities in various areas - physical, intellectual, creative, emotional, spiritual. Self-development is characterized by voluntariness and self-control, when a person learns new information and puts it into practice without any coercion from outside.

Why is self-development important?

Indeed, why all this suffering? Studying new information, tiring sports, constant stress... After all, you can safely relax on the couch, watch TV shows and enjoy "doing nothing". But idleness is an imaginary happiness, the reverse side of which is fraught with depression and disappointment in life.

Man is so arranged: he needs constant growth, the search for a new one. When he stops moving (not only in the physical, but also in the mental sense), he begins to degrade. An example is swimming - in order to stay on the water, we must make an effort. Relaxing and losing control, the swimmer immediately goes to the bottom.

Look around and compare happy and unhappy acquaintances. What is the difference? Happy people open a new business, study at trainings, go in for sports, constantly travel, learn something new. The unfortunate have been working at the same job for decades, having fun only with the help of beer and constantly looking for someone to blame for their failures.

The answer to our question is simple - you need to engage in self-development in order to become happy. Anyone who has set foot on this path understands that both the process itself and the results bring pleasure. And that this resource is inexhaustible, because the upper bar of perfection simply does not exist.

Where to start self-development and self-improvement

The very, very first step that precedes any action is a thought. Desire, idea - call it what you want. They are individual and each one is formulated differently. From the vague “I don’t want to live like this anymore” to “I plan to learn five languages ​​and earn at least a hundred thousand a month.”

The first thing to do is to want. Moreover, you need to want for a long time, stubbornly and continuously. At first, you will not understand how to get down to business at all, doubt your abilities, wander in the dark due to a lack of guidance ...

Then the answers will start coming. They manifest themselves in a book that someone gave, in an unusual person, in new opportunities (for example, go on a multi-day camping trip).

At this point, you need to accept all constructive proposals and all unexpected challenges. But you yourself need to constantly look for these answers, strive for them, and not sit idly by. Read articles on the Internet, watch videos on the topic of self-development, look for books, try some of the recommendations in practice. From all this, a methodology will begin to emerge, the first results will appear, and you will see your path.

This may take a lot of time - it all depends on the person himself and his starting position. A month is enough for someone, and someone will be in search of a year or two. The main thing is not to give up and remember that the search will certainly be crowned with success.

8 reasons why people don't develop

Here, it would seem, everything is simple - you take it and develop. Bought a book and read. Or go to the gym, pick up a barbell, and pump yourself whatever you want. But no! If everything were simple, there would be much more people involved in self-development.

There are many factors, the absence of which prevents us from improving.

Willpower

Psychologists have long argued about what willpower is, why some people have it and others don't, and what to do about it. We conducted a bunch of experiments and research and came to the conclusion that willpower is such a personal quality that can be developed like a muscle. And its presence is mainly determined by upbringing and habits laid down in childhood. Lucky were those who had disciplined and strong-willed parents who developed these qualities in their children. If this is not the case in the family, well, the path will be long, but it is quite possible for everyone to pass it.

In defining willpower as a concept, this is what is important: thanks to this personality trait, we can follow our decisions and do whatever is necessary to achieve our goals without succumbing to laziness, reluctance, or procrastination.

How to develop willpower? There are two basic techniques: doing and not doing. Doing - doing unpleasant or boring, but useful actions, for example, exercises in the morning. Non-doing is a conscious refusal to act that is harmful. For example, from smoking or overeating.

By the way, church fasting is just a practice aimed at training willpower: by refusing certain foods, we learn to control ourselves. If you dig even deeper, it turns out that in all religions there are similar practices of refusal - from food, comfort, property, certain thoughts or actions. This is because the technique of not doing strengthens willpower much more strongly.

Willpower is a spiritual quality of the highest grade, one of the most important for a person. By developing it, you can radically change your life. Have you heard the phrase: “I know the right way, but for some reason I do the opposite”? So say people with undeveloped willpower.

Motivation

Motivation is a powerful force. When a person really wants something, he is ready to move mountains. Something didn't work? So, badly wanted. After all, when you really want a cake, are you ready to go three kilometers to a night supermarket for it?

It turns out that you need to teach yourself to want correctly? Exactly! Our cunning brain is aimed at saving energy, as mother evolution ordered. And he will come up with excuses to discourage his master from unnecessary work: “Well, why is this necessary? We are so good! Oh, look, a new message in the messenger! Look, look, there are kittens in the picture!”

Therefore, you need to apply cunning against the settings of your own subconscious, which is lazy and wants only to have fun.

How to motivate yourself to work? First of all, you need to set the right goals, because even the best motivation will not work when you do not understand what you want, or set false goals imposed by society. For example, money or status. By listening to yourself, you may suddenly find that you really want to hitchhike or volunteer in Africa, and not spin like a squirrel in a wheel to satisfy other people's requests.

So, having set the right goal, we concretize and visualize it. Business - what? What will you do, target audience, idea, team, slogan, thematic colors? House - what? How many floors, is there a garage, basement, sauna, how many rooms?

For example, you want to start your own business, but have never been in business. Create conditions in which you can understand how suitable this activity is for you: for example, register withfree business game"Your Start" . This is a business simulator where you can start and develop your business in a fun and safe way, gaining a lot of useful information about entrepreneurship in the process.

After concretization and visualization, we must remember our goal and its positive emotional components. Continually imagine yourself working on interesting business projects or choosing curtains for your bedroom in your home. Think positive.

Do not doubt your abilities, believe in victory and do not assume other options. People who have achieved high performance in life are often asked: “How did you manage to carry out such a difficult project?” In response, many of them say: "I have decided that I must follow this path to the end, whatever it may be."

Memory

Memory is very important for a harmonious personality. We need the ability to remember information and operate with it all the time: in study, work and even entertainment. You can keep up the conversation only when you can tell something interesting. And how to do this if neither the plot of the book you read, nor the vicissitudes of your own journey are kept in your head?

For successful work, memory is one of the main tools. The more a person achieves, the greater the flow of information sweeps through him. How to deal with it if the "flash drive" does not hold large volumes? Record everything? Well, no, it's not an option. Try take the course "Flashing" in which you will improve your thinking speed, memory and reading speed.

Memory, like all other qualities, can be developed through exercise. For example, readhow to become smarter in 15 minutes a dayand apply this information in practice.

Time planning

It is impossible to complete complex and multi-stage work without planning all its steps. This also applies to self-development. Anyone who wants to change their life for the better must have a plan for the year, month, week and day.

But you also need to be able to plan. Not everyone succeeds in making realistic and feasible plans the first time. Therefore, we recommend studying25 time planning rulesso that this skill facilitates the work, and does not complicate it.

There are planning secrets that optimize work so much that you wonder - where did I spend so much time before? To learn how to use all 24 hours wisely, go throughfree course to help you improve your productivity.

Discipline

Discipline is another whale of self-development, without which one cannot do without. All practices aimed at improvement require constant and routine repetition. Anyone can go for a run once, last a week - every third, and turn running into an integral part of the schedule - only a few.

Discipline is necessary in order to give up bad habits, and in order to adhere to the regime of the day, and to accustom yourself to proper nutrition.

Discipline is also needed in order to fight one of the worst enemies of development - laziness. Finding answers to a questionhow to overcome lazinesswe are getting closer to our goals.

Psychology

Our results are largely dependent on thinking and attitudes. If you think “I still can’t do anything,” then it will. If you consider all rich people to be thieves and scoundrels, then you will never become rich - we don’t want to be bad. If you are sure that “all men are goats”, then such a satellite will meet.

How to think and what to think is up to us. Find out,how to think effectively- and you will save a lot of time and effort that you spent on soul-searching, worries and destructive emotions.

Self-esteem

A person accepts only what he considers himself worthy. Everyone sets the level of income, attention of the opposite sex and other life criteria for himself.

Unrealistic self-esteem (overestimated or underestimated) prevents its owner from realizing himself in life. We do illogical things and make a choice in favor of losing, subconsciously believing that this should be our fate. Failure, suffering, dealing with toxic people are all the choice of a person with unhealthy self-esteem.

To remedy the situation, you need to understandcauses of low self-esteemand try to eliminate them. Often they lie in deep childhood, are associated with the divorce of parents or bullying at school - it is very difficult to let go of such things, but it is necessary.

Self-confidence

I will succeed, successful people tell themselves. They are confident that they are able to achieve more, and even in case of failure they continue to believe that they will succeed, but next time.

The most important resource of a person is himself. You need to trust yourself, believe in yourself, respect yourself and love.

But how many people hate themselves ... They don't even want to buy beautiful clothes for themselves, because they "didn't deserve it." Before you start developing, you need to find the answer to the question:how to love yourself? Self-improvement without self-love is impossible...

A harmonious personality is strong simultaneously in all life planes. To develop yourself evenly, you need to draw up a step-by-step plan, which will include all the main vectors of growth.

This plan is individual for everyone. One solves integrals in his mind, but has not yet learned how to build relationships with the opposite sex, the second throws a two-pound weight with one left, but at the same time he has read only one book in his whole life. And the third one can generally come to the understanding that he really knows nothing and has not developed any of the vectors.

When building a plan, you need to consider all areas, but at the same time do supportive work where you have already achieved success (so that it does not go in the opposite direction) and devote more time to those areas that are not yet developed.

Spirituality is a complex and multifaceted issue. We will not talk about religion and philosophy now, these are too complex topics to discuss now. Let's talk about those aspects of spirituality that make a person happy.

Gratitude. By learning to be grateful for every little thing, we always experience joy even in difficult times. A grateful person will be able to find a ray of hope in the fluttering of spring leaves and kitten games. He easily forgives the shortcomings of loved ones, remembering that they were there when help was needed. Gratitude is wealth.

Love. To love disinterestedly, without possessiveness, of course, without demands - this is a high art. It gives joy, just like playing your favorite instrument or contemplating the ocean. True love knows neither fear nor pain.

A spiritual person always feels responsible for his actions, lives consciously, strives to be better. He does not lose faith and does not allow himself to fall into despair, he strives to know the world and be free from passions, addictions and negative thoughts.

What do you mean by "personal growth"? This is the improvement of indicators responsible for intellectual activity and the wealth of the inner world, improving the quality of life at the mental level. Achieving goals, positive thinking, the development of memory and intelligence - all this is included in the concept of personal growth.

To make it completely clear, I will say that the results of personal growth remain with us forever, even if we find ourselves completely bankrupt without a roof over our heads. A mature person will have enough knowledge and skills, fortitude and motivation, determination and self-confidence to survive in the most difficult situation. A person with low personal indicators is dependent on material property, therefore he lives in fear of losing what he has.

People who have gone through illnesses or lost their ability to work, like no one else, understand the importance of health. You can work, study, develop, love and explore the world only if you have the strength to do so.

Young people often neglect their health. It seems to them that they will always be strong, regardless of how they eat, drink alcohol or smoke. In adulthood, feeling the consequences of their frivolity, they clutch their heads and bite their elbows. Someone comes to his senses in time, and he manages to restore health, but it is often too late.

We have enough information and understand wellhow to be healthy. We know perfectly well that you can’t indulge bad habits, overeat, work to exhaustion, be nervous a lot. But how often do we use this knowledge in practice?

The problem of modern busy people is especially common - they do not know how to properly relax. After all, rest is the key to productive work. Breathing exercises, meditation, relaxation in nature, voluntary solitude, quality sleep are moments that need to be given enough attention.

Be sure to introduce physical activity into your life, at least walks in the park. We are not talking about professional sports - this is more of a traumatic activity than a useful one. But light physical activity brings the body into a state of vivacity and gives energy. Let it be dancing, badminton, cycling - everything that gives pleasure. The main thing is that they should be regular.

Relations

Each has its own type of relationship. They are different, but they equally require constant work: building a framework, expressing love, caring, spending time together. Unfortunate is the one who earns a lot of money, but does not see how his children grow up.

The relationship with another person is very important - yourself. Actually, it is with them that the building of all other connections begins. The one who respects and loves himself knows how to respect and love others. The one who cannot find a common language with himself will never make friends with the rest.

All people need to realize their potential at work, to benefit others and to do something they are proud of. This is such a deep need that ignoring it makes a person unhappy, even if outwardly everything is going well for him.

Therefore, it is important to choose a business for career development that is exciting and enjoyable to do. When you wake up with the thought: “Hooray, so much interesting work today!”, The issue of money and promotion will be solved by itself. Or run a free marathon "Awaken Your Reactive Brain"

Of course, not everything in this world can be bought for money, and indeed, their role is too exaggerated. But even without them, nothing. Having financial freedom, we feel calm and confident, we can afford to travel, spend money on cultural and mental development, eat right, provide for our families, and help our parents.

It will take you only 7 days to get your
financial situation reading a book "Trajectory to Financial Freedom".

Most of us are employed. You can get a good income at such a job, especially if you are a good worker and are constantly moving up the career ladder. But this is not always the case, and many specialists, having reached the career ceiling in some organization, come to the conclusion that it is time to go into free swimming. You just need to understand how to start correctly.

For this you can gofree training to help you start your business. By working for ourselves, we can achieve much more in the financial sector.

How do you spend the New Year? I'll try to guess: put up a Christmas tree, set the table, buy champagne and clink glasses to the sound of chimes, making wishes. There are daredevils who break the system to smithereens - they do not cook Olivier and herring under a fur coat.

Why not order a quest for the whole family? Or go to the forest, light a fire and decorate a real Christmas tree? Or create some more madness?

And we would like to, but we don’t know how, right? So it turns out that our imagination is enough for the maximum to refuse Olivier at the New Year's table.

Many interesting adventures and unprecedented undertakings do not require serious expenses, physical preparation and a lot of time. We just don't have enough ideas. In order to turn into a man rich in inventions, you need to know as develop creative thinking.

Making your life bright is not as difficult as it seems. This is not a whim and not a luxury - our soul and brain need emotions, impressions, joy, delight. All this makes our personality richer, nourishes like a sweet elixir.

In the process of self-development, not only the mood is important, but also the quality of information. We mainly draw it from books and films, which we will discuss below.

10 best films for self-development

Films that are useful for development can be divided into three categories: feature films, which contain a deep philosophy and motivation; documentaries, where you can learn more about the world around you, human psychology and the path of civilization; and biographical - about people from whom you can take an example.

You can bring a wholelist of biopicsabout outstanding people, but I will remember only one thing: this is a BBC documentary about the greatest scientist who discovered many physical laws. He unraveled the nature of light and gave us the law of universal gravitation. But what kind of personality was Newton that allowed him to become the most enlightened mind of the era and what secrets did he hide?

A film starring Jim Carrey. This story is about a loser named Carl Allen, who passes by life. Karl always answers "no" to all offers and is content with the existence of a hermit, because he is afraid to even leave the apartment. But an event happens that forces Carl to say "yes" to any, even the most insane proposal. And this is where his new life begins.

A comedy film about life priorities and how important it is to be attentive to your words. The main character in the role of Eddie Murphy brings a special charm - that's who can chat endlessly and at great speed. Successful literary agent Jack McCall, who knows how to persuade even the dead, overshadows family and love, gives all his time to his career and money. But having learned that only a thousand words remained in his life, and having said the last, he will die, Jack begins to think about what is more important to him.

- French comedy about two completely different people who met each other at the most difficult moment of their lives. He tells the viewers that on dark days we can be helped by those from whom we did not expect this, and that there are no chance meetings.

- both a feature film and a documentary about the planet Earth, our Home. Its author is photographer Jan Arthus-Bertrand, who once became interested in filming from a balloon and was able to capture many beautiful and unexpected views. Directed by Luc Besson.

We can see the beauty of wild nature in all its scale, and the traces of human exploration of the planet - so small from a bird's eye view, but so globally changed the face of our Home forever. Who are we, and what is the role of each of us in the destruction or creation of the Earth? Are we ready to take responsibility for the preservation of our abode?

"Secret"

"Secret" - a documentary film-interview about how a person attracts events with the help of thought, about the power of desire and the materiality of information. The film consists of a series of interviews with various people who expound the philosophical basis of the "law of attraction" using examples from their own lives.

- a feature film-parable with the handsome James Marsden in the title role. The hero of the tape, Neil Oliver, on his birthday, makes a wish "to get an answer to his life", and miraculously it is fulfilled by a wizard who happened to be nearby. From this moment on, a series of amazing events unfolds that go beyond the usual understanding and perception. Everything that the hero goes through makes him rethink his attitudes, learn to trust himself and make the main decision: who he should be.

- a film about goals. In the face of death, when there is nothing to be afraid of, when all conventions and attitudes turn out to be only dust, a person can achieve any goal set. We live as if we are immortal, constantly postponing life for later. But in reality, we have very little time, and we need to realize our dreams right now.

"Pay Another"

"Pay Another" - a touching film about the boy Trevor, who came up with an interesting system of mutual assistance. He did good deeds absolutely disinterestedly, but at the same time he asked to “pay another,” that is, to do good to a stranger. So the chain of good deeds grew and spread not only outside the city, but also outside the state. One child changed the lives of many, and this makes us think: after all, we, too, can change the world, you just need to want to.

The mystical and deeply psychological film is based on the book of the same name by Stephen King. It tells about the final place of prisoners, where they are prepared for execution. Death is in the air, everyone becomes real in front of her face: someone demonstrates nobility, someone - baseness of spirit. Stay true to yourself and help even your executioners - only a strong person is capable of this. It is he who changes the worldview of everyone who meets him.

10 best books for self-development

It is known that the most successful people read a lot, and mostly special literature - on psychology, self-development, their profession. Fiction books also need to be read - they enrich our vocabulary and develop our imagination.

You need to read a lot and regularly - it is advisable to make yourself a schedule and designate reading norms for each day so that the work moves in the same rhythm. Your schedule should havelist of meditation books, psychology, business and finance, the history of the country and the world, biographies, philosophical literature and motivational books.

And so that you can cover large amounts of information without much stress, we recommend taking a free course."Reactive Brain" . Its developers took speed reading techniques as a basis and enriched them with exercises to speed up thinking and structure information.

The author of the book independently walked the path to success from scratch. Even before finishing school and starting his work as a laborer, he became vice president of the company. By researching his own experiences and the stories of others, Brian Tracy has become a renowned psychologist and has written numerous books on success and how to achieve it.

Mark Manson " The subtle art of bullying: A paradoxical way to live happily

Have you ever wondered how much of a resource we spend on being nervous, worrying, suffering from failures and worrying, painting pictures of the future. Our nerves and emotions also require energy, and by ceasing to worry about the inevitable, we free up a lot of time and energy for work. Books by Mark Manson teach us how to achieve a goal without being inhibited by unnecessary emotions, and move on even after the most epic failures.

Carlos Castaneda"Journey to Ixtlan"

Long ago, in the 1960s in Mexico, anthropologist Carlos met a Yaqui Indian, don Juan, who turned out to be a magician. He gave his new student all the knowledge, and Castaneda wrote it down in the form of field notes, published later in ten volumes. We do not urge you to read all ten, but here is the third volume, "Journey to Ixtlan"- we recommend. It contains a squeeze of don Juan's philosophy - the way of the warrior, the relationship with the world and oneself. Important is the concept of self-importance, which slows down a person in achieving goals. Tip: take the book itself as a fairy tale with a moral, because the main thing in it is philosophy, not plot.

Regina Brett "God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons That Will Change Your Life"

Autobiographical book an American journalist who managed to change her life and make her dreams come true in a situation from which, it would seem, there is no way out. A girl from a family with 11 children, Regina went through difficult trials in life and managed to cope with them. These tips are about learning to live with your past and let go of resentment as you move forward.

Robert Kiyosaki: Rich Dad Poor Dad

It is always interesting to read the books of people who have lived a colorful life. Robert Kiyosaki has been a Marine, a pilot, a sales agent, a businessman, and an educator. Today he is a successful investor and writer whose books have become bestsellers. He teaches not how to make money, but how to change your mindset, because it is it that is the main key to wealth. We highly recommend reading his book "Rich dad, poor dad" to change your life for the better.

Bruce Lee "Way of the Leading Fist"

Who hasn't heard of the legendary Bruce Lee? We know that he was a martial artist and famous actor, but we forget that he was also a philosopher and martial arts reformer. His notes were published in 1975, after the death of the author. It seems that they are dedicated to martial arts, but in reality they are full of deep reflections on the development of the personality of a warrior.

Kelly McGonigal " Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen»

We have already talked about willpower and its importance for development, and now let's pick up a book about the method of cultivating this property in ourselves. Psychologist and teacher Kelly McGonigal carefully studied this issue and came to the conclusion that in an attempt to develop willpower, we are often guided by false ideas and are trapped in stereotypes. This book talks about research experiments, about people who put Kelly's advice into practice and the results they were able to achieve.

Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching"

This book is not in vain at the very end - it is better for fragile minds not to mess with it. Lao Tzu is an ancient Chinese philosopher who is credited with the authorship of a treatise on two vital principles: Tao and Te. It's better to read it, several offers per day. Lao Tzu can be studied for a lifetime, but never fully understood. Therefore, do not be alarmed if at first his sayings will seem like sheer rubbish. Even one meaningful idea from the treatise will bring many practical benefits to the reader - for example, about non-action as an important component of activity.

book, tao de jing

What to do right now:

1. 1. Read another article How to get rid of intrusive thoughts
   2. Read at least one of the listed books, as well as other books on self-development.
   3. For those who constantly do not have enough time for everything, study course “Anti-time management”

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

This article contains several useful practical exercises, which, by the way, are sold for a thousand dollars in some places. I will save them for you by describing these instructions simply and without water. Believe me, they will not become less effective from this, and you can be sure of the enormous power of these exercises. Tested on many people. So, if you are wondering where to start self-development, not only out of curiosity, but want to really improve your life, before reading the article, take a notebook and a pen to do the exercises.

What is self-development

Before we know where to start self-development and self-improvement, let's think about what self-development is?

Self-development is a very broad concept and each person puts his own meaning into it, depending on his system of values. Someone understands self-development as the development of their business and an increase in cash income, someone loses weight, for other people self-development is relationships with people, the ability to love and be happy, communication skills. We can say that a person is engaged in self-development if every new day he becomes a little better than he was yesterday. And what kind of person to be - everyone decides for himself.

Whatever goals you pursue, all paths of self-development have one common principle. From this single principle, self-development must begin. I will talk about this single principle at the end of the article. And now about everything in order.

Step 1. Where to start self-development - the current state of affairs

Self-development must begin with a sober assessment of the current state of affairs. It can be very frustrating at times to admit that there is a particular problem, but it is a necessary first step. The situation you are in now is the result of your past efforts or lack thereof.

Let's call this situation "point A".

Practical exercise.

This exercise must be done in writing on paper or in a text editor on a computer. But it's better on paper. Describe your problem in as much detail as possible. For example, if your problem is low income, then write like this: my income is ... rubles (substitute the exact figure of your income). Or you are overweight and you consider it a problem, write down: my weight is ... kg (substitute the exact number of your weight). If the problem cannot be expressed in numbers, describe it in words. For example, when I try to speak English, I get the tenses mixed up.

When you have decided on the problem, you need to understand: what do you want to change in the current situation, that is, set a goal. Goals should also be clear and specific. There is a good exercise for this.

Step 2. Set a goal for self-development

Exercise for clear goal setting:

Take a sheet of paper and a pen. Now we will describe the ideal experience of achieving the goal. Imagine the day you achieved your goal and describe in detail one specific moment of that day. It's like you're writing a script for a movie.

• Write what number it is. Set realistic deadlines for your goals, do not think that in one day you will lose 50 kg or increase your income by 100 times in a month.
• What time is it? (not now when you are doing this exercise, but at that ideal moment in the future).
• Where are you in this ideal experience?
• What other people are present in this ideal experience?
• What are you doing at this moment? What do you feel?

Describe this experience in detail.

Be careful, this exercise is not just called the "experience of achieving the goal." It is the experience that needs to be described, not just an abstract goal.

For example, “I make a lot of money” is an abstract goal. But “I look at my bank’s mobile application and see on my account 100,000 dollars, which I received for the sale of a successful project, my dog ​​Busya is sitting next to me, and my wife Katya is packing our things in a suitcase, because in three hours we have a plane to the Bahamas, where we rented a house of 120 sq.m on the seashore for a month ... ”, etc. it is a concrete experience. To ensure that you are doing the exercise correctly, remember that you are writing a script for the director to shoot a scene from.

We will call this experience of achieving the goal "point B".

Step 3. We draw up a plan for self-development

So we know where we are and where we want to go. We also determined the exact time by which we will come from point A to point B. Now we need to do one more practical exercise. We'll need paper and a pen again. This time we will write the ideal scenario for achieving the goal.

Imagine that you have already reached your goal in self-development and are at point B, in that ideal experience that you described in the previous step. Now, in your imagination, look from this ideal future, when the goal has already been achieved, into the past and answer the question: how did I achieve this goal? The thing is, if you have a clear goal, your subconscious already knows the easiest way to achieve it. You imagine that experience when the goal has already been achieved, but being in the imagination in that experience, you understand that all this did not arise out of nowhere. Some events must have preceded this experience. And you just "remember" what happened before. Write down on paper the chain of events that took you from point A to point B, starting with later events and moving backwards to earlier ones.

Now you have a step-by-step self-development plan in the chosen direction with intermediate goals.

I will soon write a separate article about this amazingly effective system of 100% achievement of goals, stay tuned.

Choosing a priority direction of self-development

And now let's talk about how to determine in which area of ​​life to start self-development, if it seems that there are too many problems: there is not enough money, and you need to improve your physical shape, and learn English. There are so many things to do that you don't know what to do.

The bad news is that you won't be able to get everything all at once. And it is better to set a goal in one direction and gradually move towards it, giving it priority.

The good news is that by regularly engaging in self-development in one area of ​​​​life, you will quietly begin to pull up all the others.

Each person chooses the priority direction for development. For some, this is a career, for others, a personal life, etc.

Psychologists identify eight main areas of life most important for most people. It is convenient to depict them as a circle divided into sectors. Each sector is dedicated to one main vital area.

Right now you can evaluate each area of ​​life on a scale from 0 to 10 and connect all the ratings with lines. As a result, you will see a clear example of how balanced your life is. Here is one example:

A common example of a person who spares no effort to invest in making money, forgetting about health, friends, spiritual growth, communication with family.

In fact, thanks to a huge amount of psychological research, it can be confidently stated that a person feels happy when there is satisfaction in all areas of life. It makes no sense to invest all your efforts in one area, forgetting about others. Yes, you can achieve good success in this area, but why, if you feel miserable at the same time? Unfortunately, this is most often realized too late, when precious time has irretrievably gone.

Therefore, it is better to start self-development from the area that you have given the lowest rating.

20 things you can do in your daily life to improve yourself

1. Read about what you want to improve in your life. Do you want to develop a certain skill? Read about it every day.
2. Find a mentor. A mentor can be anyone who knows how to do what you aspire to. In turn, don't forget to help those with less experience than you. Mentoring is by far the fastest way to develop.
3. Keep a diary at the end of the day. If you are really serious about self-development, you need to constantly be aware of what you can improve in yourself. And the only way to know this is to reflect and ask yourself every day what and how you can change in yourself to become better.
4. Create strong habits. It's your habits that bring out your strengths, not the other way around. You cannot live one life and expect to have another later. Today's habits create your future life.
5. Find like-minded people. In fact, it is difficult to develop alone. Spend time with people who share your values ​​and support each other. Try to avoid contact with those who demotivate you.
6. Create a system of rewards and punishments. This is necessary for those who are struggling with their laziness and bad habits.
7. Be honest with yourself. No empty talk will lead to change. This is the hardest part. It's much easier to buy a self-development book or read an article and say to yourself, "I'm working on myself." But is anything really changing? Be your own judge. But never judge yourself by comparing yourself to other people. You should compare yourself only with yourself in the past, and judge changes objectively.
8. Find yourself an example. You should not compare yourself with others, but sometimes it is very useful to look for inspiration for self-development in other people.
9. Measure your progress. One of my teachers used to say: if you can't measure the result of an action, don't do it. No matter how ephemeral the things you do, you must find a way to measure your progress. This is the only way to know if you are heading in the right direction and if you need to turn.
10. Regularity is the key. Self-development does not happen overnight. This happens slowly and gradually. Consistent and regular effort is what creates truly meaningful change. And this is what makes self-development so difficult. There is no magic pill that you swallow - and everything is fixed. Self-development is a daily routine practice and way of life.
11. The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The next best time is now. No matter how far away the goal may seem, start acting now using the resources that you have.
12. Take small steps. Imagine that a long staircase leads to a big goal, and think only about how to climb the next step. It will be a small victory that will inspire you. And then there will be another step in front of you, and another, until you reach the original goal.
13. Learn from other people. Whatever skill you develop in yourself, there are people who have gone through this path and willingly share their experience. Your own experience is a harsh teacher, so it's best to learn from the mistakes of others. Find a good mentor and read more books.
14. The world is changing all the time. And you change too. Even if you do nothing, you are forced to change every time the world turns upside down again. This cannot be avoided. Success is achieved by those who quickly adapt to change.
15. Take responsibility. You are responsible for your development. You are responsible for where you are now and what you are doing right now. Don't blame anyone, and don't blame yourself. Be aware. Mindfulness is responsibility without guilt.
16. Be grateful. The nature of our mind is to always focus on trouble. We quickly get used to the good and immediately begin to wish for the best. Because of this, we are growing. But still, we should not forget about all the good things that we already have. And feel grateful for it every day.
17. Use the power of intention. If you are 100 percent sure that you want to achieve something, then very soon it will become your reality. All the reality around you is the result of your conscious and subconscious intentions. The ability to feel your subconscious intentions and “erase” them if they do not lead you to where you consciously want is an important component of success in self-development.
18. Set realistic goals. Goals that are too easy can keep you from feeling powerful and enjoying the joy of success, and goals that are too difficult can rob you of confidence. In setting goals, it is important to find a middle ground. Then, when you reach the goal of medium difficulty and are convinced of your abilities, move on to those goals that previously seemed impossible to you.
19. Listen to the heart. It is impossible to develop for a long time in an area that you do not like. Choose a path that is heartfelt and that aligns with your values. Become a Master on this path so that people around you can't tell if you're working or playing because you're doing both.
20. Keep going and never give up. The only way to fail at a goal is to give up on achieving it. If you've done something and it doesn't bring you to your goal, just do something else. Again and again look for new approaches and one day you will pick up the key to your dream.

Conclusion

And as usual, after a general review of the topic, I will write my personal opinion. Agree with him or not, decide for yourself. I believe that self-development should begin with the development of the skill of controlling your mind and your attention. In my opinion, this is the basis for the success of any other self-development activity. After all, it is the lack of self-control skills that most often becomes the reason that a person cannot regularly engage in self-development.

How many times have you started to lose weight, do fitness or learn English and quit. There are too many distractions in the modern world: TV shows, social networks, television, the Internet, a huge flow of information and information noise. Thousands of signals around are trying their best to attract our attention and pinch off a piece of energy.

And the worst part is that most of this information is simply useless, and often harmful. If you hear good information, then they want to force you to buy something. If you hear any news about events in the world, then they most likely want to intimidate you. And every little bit of information is trying to evoke some emotion in you.

To achieve your goals in self-improvement, you just need to learn how to direct your energy in the right direction, and give a tough rebuff to everything that tries to divert attention without your permission.

And from all this I want to conclude that you need to start self-development and self-improvement with meditation. Meditation is the practice of controlling your mind. Meditation is a platform that ensures the effectiveness of self-development, whether it is the study of foreign languages, oratory or physical development. We can say that the mind is a tool that we use to change ourselves. You should not be like that fool from the parable who has been sawing a log with a dull saw for the third hour, because he does not have time to sharpen the saw. Prepare a good tool first, and then with it, things will go much faster.

The development of the mind, the ability to manage oneself, one's attention with the help of meditation - this is where you need to start self-development.

Much more than their predecessors, they pay attention to their improvement and implementation. For the majority, self-development has become not only an interesting pastime, but also a necessity.

Self-development of a woman: the most frequent areas of life

Among the most important areas that women would like to improve are relationships with the opposite sex (for unmarried) and family relationships (for married). Despite the desire to succeed in, personal life is put in the first place.

Loneliness does not always indicate that a woman is not doing anything for self-development. Good housewives with an attractive appearance can also not have a partner. The problem often lies in the fact that a woman simply does not understand what she needs and what kind of relationship she wants to build with him. As a result, the partner has annoying flaws (smokes, spends a lot of time fishing or watching football matches), which forces him to part with him. may also be completely absent in a woman's life.

To meet a companion, it is worth making a list of the personal qualities of the best partner for you. Write down the disadvantages that you are willing to put up with. complemented by physical, if it is important for you that a man has certain features of his appearance.

The imperfection of the family (naughty children, drinking husband) is often a reflection of our own imperfection. Try to understand what traits of your character made children naughty. Perhaps you are too accommodating to their whims. Don't forget that you don't have to put up with a drinking spouse. If a man has relieved himself of responsibility for his life, he is not able to be the head of the family.

At the beginning of the new millennium, women's self-development acquired a special significance. The girl received not only the right to independently build her life, but also to be responsible for the chosen path. Women mistakenly believe that after marriage they do not need to continue their development. They solved the main problem - they found a spouse who will take full responsibility for his wife and children. But marriage is another step in a woman's self-improvement.

A girl who devotes herself only to her family gradually becomes uninteresting to her husband, and he begins to look for a more pleasant companion. Such a wife is more dependent on her husband, since he is most often the breadwinner. Having refused self-improvement, she loses the respect not only of her husband, but also of her children, relatives and friends.

It is believed that at the age of 40 the best years have already been lived. At the same time, a woman was forced to devote her best years (20-35 years) to the family, the birth and upbringing of children. The fortieth anniversary for many becomes the age of regret about missed opportunities and the time to take stock. The woman is sure that the best thing she can do is helping adult children and raising grandchildren.

However, considering yourself elderly at 40 is no longer relevant. With the increase in life expectancy, this age is no longer considered as the onset of old age. A mature woman who knows life and her tastes is much more ready for than a twenty-year-old girl with no experience.

Self-development of a woman: where to start

To, step-by-step instructions must be created after diagnostics. Answer your questions:

1. What makes you feel dissatisfied?
2. “What causes a feeling of dissatisfaction in my loved ones?”. If you yourself have not answered the question of what does not satisfy you in life, pay attention to the dissatisfaction of loved ones (parents, spouses, children). The opinion of relatives must be taken into account, but you should not build your life in accordance with their wishes. If your father and mother want you to start a family and give birth to a child, but you still do not want this, you should not torture yourself to please your father and mother. You will have to live with your husband and children, not your parents.
3. "What am I dreaming about?" Esotericists are sure that desire is given to us for self-improvement. Pay attention to your dreams and you will know which areas of your life are worth working on.

The first stages on the path of self-development of a girl

Young girls aged 18-20 in most cases do not have enough experience to know exactly what area of ​​their life needs to be developed. Some of them do not understand why they need to cultivate themselves. This behavior should be considered normal. However, already at this age it is necessary to begin to develop. Self-development can be general and include:

1. Education. If you have not yet decided what profession you would like to devote your life to, study what interests you today, for example, fashion design.
2. Trips. It is easier for unmarried girls without children to travel than married girls. Getting to know new countries broadens your horizons. While traveling, you can find your destination (you liked the profession of a flight attendant or a tour guide).
3. Volunteering. Free aid promotes spiritual development. Volunteering is both a hobby and a job. It will become an alternative for those who are unable to travel at their own expense.

Target

The speed of its achievement depends on the correctness of the choice and formulation of the goal. Attention deserves not only global, but also small tasks of the domestic plan.

Real

The real goal is the one that corresponds to your current capabilities. If you have never played sports, but intend to run a few kilometers tomorrow, then such a goal should be considered fantastic. However, the possibilities may change. After six months of regular training, you can easily achieve what you want.

Short term

Easy-to-implement, near-future goals are used to maintain a positive attitude. Write yourself a plan for the week. The list might include tasks such as going to the hairdresser, cleaning out the closet, reading a few chapters of a book. Since achieving such goals requires a minimum investment of time and money, at the end of the week you will notice positive results.

Setting short-term goals and keeping track of them will program your brain to achieve complex goals. You need to see the implementation of your plans. In addition, with the help of short-term goals, they achieve more global ones. You are sure that it is impossible to lose weight, because you have already tried, but you did not succeed. To get started, set a goal to enroll in a gym. The next task is to reduce the consumption of sweets.

Motivating

The chosen goal should be motivating. Before you get started, think about why you need to achieve what you want. For example, you want to learn a foreign language to move up the career ladder or just because your mother dreamed about it. You should not fulfill other people's desires, even if it upsets relatives. Achieving someone else's goal will not bring joy and will lead to wasted time.

Areas of self-improvement or what to choose

Popular areas include health, material well-being, profession and relationships with the opposite sex. Less popular include creativity and spiritual development. Each person also identifies his own, specific areas, the lack of development of which worries him personally.

In most cases, improvements require several directions at once. The sphere that needs to be corrected more than others affects other areas of life. For example, if you are often sick, you will not be able to earn more, develop professionally, or get an education.

It is necessary to start working on oneself from the most problematic area with the support of the most developed area. If there is no work, but you are a creative person (artist, poet), try turning your hobby into a profession. A woman who has made a career, but has not found a loved one, can look for him in the workplace.

Planning your development

Creating a detailed plan for self-development with an indication of the time for fulfilling the desired and the stages of achievement will help to work effectively on the implementation of the plan.

Step-by-step instructions for self-development will be individual for each person and for each set of tasks. However, some steps may be general.

Choose multiple goals of different scale

For convenience, a table is created, one column in which will be devoted to goals, and the other to possible deadlines. The tasks that will be achieved in the first place will become the motivation for achieving other goals.

List the milestones that show progress towards achieving

For each task, a separate action plan is drawn up, which is followed during work. For example, if your goal is to learn a foreign language, your plan might be:

1. Find an additional source of income to earn money to attend language courses.
2. Sign up for language courses.
3. Get a diploma.
4. Earn money to take courses at a summer camp in the country of the language being studied.
5. Get trained at a summer camp.
6. Start talking to native speakers.

Take into account unforeseen situations (an additional source of income was not found) and new opportunities (an offer was received to take language courses for free), supplement the plan or remove items from it.

Arrange the stages on the timeline

Indicate the time for the execution of the plan: jogging tomorrow at 5.00, attending the opera on March 26, replacing plumbing in the bathroom before the end of the year. The more detailed the plan, the better the brain will be programmed to implement it. You will be able to better control your achievements. Be prepared for the fact that some of the events of the plan will occur earlier or later than you think.

Start acting as soon as the plan is defined

The implementation of the plan is not delayed until Monday, the next week or the New Year. You need to start acting immediately, when you still feel inspired. While you are waiting for a better time to work, desires will change, you will lose opportunities that are available to you now, or more urgent things will appear.

What helps not to give up halfway?

People do not achieve their goals not because their dreams are unrealizable, but because they do not have the patience to follow the path to the end. The temptation to refuse to achieve the goal arises at any stage of work. A person may come to the conclusion that:

1. Wish is not a necessity. You've lived your 34 years well enough without knowing Japanese. You can continue to live without it.
2. You don't have time to do what you want. You are too busy with work and family.
3. You are not young (or mature) enough to reach your goal. The ability to fulfill a desire is often tied to age.
4. Life can get worse after reaching a goal. If you take a higher position, you will lose friends among colleagues. Having more money, you will be afraid of robbery and extortion.

These thoughts should be considered an excuse for laziness. It's not just millionaires who get robbed. Time is not enough even for the unemployed and housewives. Age does not play a decisive role on the way to the implementation of the desired. True friends won't turn away because you're better than them at something.

To help you deal with such thoughts, periodically make 2 lists that you can title:

1. What will I get if I reach my goal? This should include all the benefits of having or not having something. Describe in detail what you will have by becoming the head of a department in your organization: a salary of 10 thousand more, the ability to use company vehicles and go on business trips abroad. If your goal is to get rid of, for example, smoking, describe how you feel better doing so. The money that you used to spend on cigarettes, you will spend on going to the cinema.
2. “What will I deprive myself of if I don’t reach my goal.” Indicate what you will lose if you refuse to move towards what you want. Without becoming the head of a department, you will travel to work by public transport and earn less, you will not be sent on a business trip abroad. If you don't quit smoking, you will increase your expenses (cigarettes become more expensive), you can get lung cancer.

To get rid of the temptation to give up on your dreams, tell about your plans to a person who does not like you, makes fun of you. You will be motivated to reach your goal. If you do not do this, the ill-wisher will laugh at you and tell everyone about your failure.

Strategy for women's self-development

A self-development strategy for a woman includes a change in lifestyle and attitude towards her. To understand what needs to change, find your purpose.

Philosophy of life

If life does not satisfy you, perhaps your internal attitudes should be considered the culprit. To start living in a new way, analyze the attitudes received from your parents and the society in which you were raised. For example, you do not have enough money, and your father constantly says that only dishonest people can be rich, money is evil and danger. Such formulas do not allow you to see new opportunities for earning.

An unhappy girl in her personal life must analyze the fate of women of her kind. If the grandmother broke up with her husband because of his infidelity, she could pass on the wrong attitude to her mother, and her mother to you. From all the men you meet, you expect only infidelity and always find "evidence" of their guilt.

Lifestyle

Remember that the lifestyle you led earlier caused many problems. Regardless of what goals you set for yourself, always try to:

1. More rest. Even if you love what you do, you should always find time to relax. Travel as much as possible, attend cultural events, and go out of town with friends and relatives. Rest in nightclubs or at home in front of the TV should be avoided.
2. Appreciate your time. Give up activities that take too much time and do not bring benefits (computer games, social networking).
3. Stick to a healthy lifestyle. This recommendation applies not only to those with bad habits. Review your daily diet. It may contain harmful products. Start exercising even if you are not overweight.

Inner harmony and development of one's potential

Lack of inner harmony hinders progress. Every woman should know how to achieve balance for her personally. It can be meditation, listening to your favorite music, an evening walk. Achieving inner harmony contributes to the discovery of potential: listening to music, you discover your musical abilities, and admiring the sunset, you notice the desire to draw.

The success of self-realization largely depends on the relationship with oneself and the outside world. A company of like-minded people and self-love will help you achieve high results.

Enlist the support of loved ones

The support of loved ones is important for everyone who intends to improve this or that area of ​​life. However, understanding is not always possible. Some members of your family may have a more traditional outlook on life. Your grandmother believes that a woman should devote herself to the family, and not to do business. Parents may believe that a girl does not need to have a higher education.

Look for support in a circle of like-minded people and spend as much time with them as possible. When relatives see your first successes, they will begin to be more supportive of your actions. If you manage to achieve recognition in your chosen field, loved ones will also support you.

Make new acquaintances

If possible, it is necessary to expand the circle of contacts. Do not avoid the appearance of new people in your life. Every person, even without a higher education, is able to teach something, to tell something new. The appearance of new friends is necessary for a woman striving for self-realization and achievement of goals, since the fulfillment of desire may depend on their presence in life. Communication is especially necessary for women who are forced to spend a lot of time outside of society (housewives).

It is necessary to monitor the quality of communication. It is worth avoiding the company of people who have not achieved anything, and who are negative about the success of others. Associating with those who treat you unkindly can be beneficial. Such people tend to notice your shortcomings, which will motivate you to work on yourself.

Learn to love yourself and others

Personal growth is impossible without self-love. If you consider yourself unworthy of the best, all your efforts will be in vain. A girl who fails to love herself needs to start showing respect for her person. Make 2 lists of your best qualities and achievements in life. You can respect yourself for being kind, or being able to sing or cook. Be glad that you were able to get a degree in economics or buy an apartment without the help of relatives.

Show love and respect to the people around you. Each person receives what he gives. Find bright qualities in your friends and relatives. Try not to pay attention to their shortcomings. Feel free to express love to your loved ones. Unfamiliar people can be politely praised and thanked for small services. The expression of feelings must be sincere. Do not fawn or flatter.

Don't give up

Be prepared for the fact that obstacles await you on the way to the goal, which you need to treat as calmly as possible. Life changes always involve stepping out of your comfort zone. Remember that a leader is not someone who does everything easily and simply. A leader should be considered a person who is able to continue what he started, despite the obstacles that have arisen. It is necessary to notice not only big, but also small victories. Perhaps you have not found the strength to go out for a morning run. But today you woke up half an hour earlier than usual.

Less demanding people tend to stop there. However, if there are no new aspirations, development stops. Having learned one foreign language, you can always start learning another, more complex one. If your income has reached the desired mark of 50 thousand rubles per month, try to reach an income of 70 thousand rubles per month. A person who has received everything he needs can use his potential to help other people.

Conclusion

When working on yourself, do not adjust yourself to the generally accepted standard. You don't have to be a successful business woman just because female emancipation is in vogue. Engage in the development of your abilities. Use temporary difficulties to build a happier life. Despite the abundance of developing literature, each girl must answer herself the questions about what self-development is, where to start: the plan for a woman is made by herself.