Often at the heart of the conflict lies the desire of parents to insist on their own. Children, being under pressure from their parents, begin to resist, and this leads to disobedience, stubbornness. Often, parents, when demanding something or forbidding their children to do something, do not sufficiently explain the reason for the ban or requirements. This leads to misunderstanding, resulting in mutual stubbornness, and sometimes hostility. It is necessary to find time for conversations with the child, to argue all the prohibitions, the requirements that the parents put forward. Many fathers and mothers will be indignant where to find the time if you have to work in several shifts to provide for the material needs of the family. But if there are no normal relations in the family, then who needs this material support?
It is necessary to walk with the child, talk, play, read useful literature. Also, the cause of the conflict between fathers and children may be the restriction of the freedom of the latter. It should always be remembered that a child is an independent person who has the right to his freedom. Psychologists distinguish several stages of a child's growing up, when misunderstanding between children and parents is exacerbated. At this time, conflicts with adults arise more often. The first stage is a child at the age of three years. He becomes more capricious, stubborn, self-willed. The second critical age is seven years. Again, incontinence, imbalance are observed in the behavior of the child, he becomes capricious. In adolescence, the child's behavior becomes negative, working capacity decreases, old interests are replaced by new ones. At this time, it is important for parents to behave correctly.
When a child is born into the world, his family becomes the standard of behavior for him. In the family, he acquires such qualities as trust, fear, sociability, timidity, confidence. And also he gets acquainted with the ways of behavior in conflict situations that his parents demonstrate to him, without noticing it. Therefore, it is important that parents and those around the child be more careful in their statements and behavior. Try to minimize all conflict situations and resolve them calmly. The child should see that parents are not happy that they have achieved their goal, but that they managed to avoid conflict. You need to be able to ask for forgiveness and admit your mistakes in front of your children. Even if the child caused you a lot of negative emotions that you gave free rein to, you should calm down and explain to the child that you cannot express your feelings in this way. The question of discipline of the child can lead to conflict.
While the child is small, parents limit his freedom, set boundaries in which the child feels protected. A small child needs a sense of security, comfort. He should feel like a center around which everything is done for him. But as the child grows up, parents need to rebuild his selfish nature with the help of love and discipline. Some parents do not do this, surrounding the child with love and care without any discipline. Adults, trying to avoid conflicts, give complete freedom to the child, from whom an egoist with uncontrollable behavior grows up, a little tyrant who manipulates his parents.
The other extreme is parents who demand unquestioning fulfillment of all their requirements. Raising a child, such parents each time show him that he is in their power. Children who accept this suffer from a lack of independence, grow up intimidated, and cannot do anything without their parents.
Conversely, children who resist the demands of adults are more likely to grow up angry and uncontrollable. The task of parents is to find a middle ground, to maintain a clear parental position along with concern for the feelings and needs of the child. A child is a person who has the right to his childhood, to his life with his mistakes and victories. In adolescence, when the child is 11-15 years old, the mistake of parents is that they are not ready to see in their child a new person who has his own ideas, goals that do not coincide with the ideas of parents. Along with physiological changes in a child - a teenager, mood swings are observed, he becomes irritable, vulnerable.
In any criticism addressed to him, he sees dislike for himself. Parents of a teenager need to adapt to a new situation, change some old views, rules. At this age, there are things that a teenager quite legitimately claims. He can invite his friends to his birthday, and not those who are imposed by his parents. He can listen to music that he likes. And many other things that parents should control, but not as pronounced as before. Parental attention should be reduced to the life of the child, allow him to show more independence, especially in the interests of the family.
But at the same time, impudence and rudeness on the part of a teenager cannot be tolerated, he must feel the boundaries. The task of parents is to make a teenager feel parental love, to know that they understand him, and will always accept him for who he is. Of course, on the one hand, the parents gave life to the child, raised him, gave him an education, and support him in difficult situations.
On the other hand, parents constantly want to control their child, influence his decisions, the choice of friends, interests, etc. Even if parents give their children complete freedom, as it seems to them, they still fetter the child in the implementation of some plans, without even noticing it. Therefore, sooner or later, children leave their parents, but some leave with a scandal, a feeling of resentment towards their parents, while others leave with gratitude, with understanding from their parents. This is how it is, the conflict, fathers and children in the family are two sides of the truth. We hope that harmony will reign in your family.
Years, decades, centuries pass, but the problem of relations between the older and younger generations remains. How often you can hear: “What kind of youth has gone! In our time…” It seems to us, young people, that parents “pressure” us with their authority, age, that they do not understand their children, they seek to limit our freedom. We will become adults and, probably, we will treat our children in the same way, we will say the same to them, trying to protect them from all life's hardships. I think that therefore the conflict between children and parents is eternal and that the characteristics of each generation of people are influenced by the time in which they live, social and living conditions, and the political situation in the country.
Questions of the relationship between "fathers and children" have always interested writers and, of course, are reflected in fiction. The problem of the continuity of generations, the conflict between the elders and the young, the relationship between parents and children - this is not a complete list of problems reflected in various works of Russian and foreign literature. Let's turn to examples.
A novel by the 19th century Russian writer I.S. Turgenev is called “Fathers and Sons”. This work clearly demonstrates the problem of the relationship between two generations. The “fathers” are Nikolai and Pavel Kirsanovs, and the “children” are Arkady Kirsanov, the son of Nikolai Petrovich, and Evgeny Bazarov. But the conflict between them is due not so much to age as to the change in social conditions in the country. The "noble nests" are becoming obsolete, the role of the nobility in society is decreasing. New people come to replace him, people from the middle class, the so-called raznochintsy. Bazarov is the son of a poor district doctor, he makes his own way in life. Arkady is only carried away by new ideas, but in fact he is the son of his father. We see him at the end of the novel as a landowner, a successor to the work of the "fathers". The highest point of the conflict between the new generation and the local nobility, the aristocrats, is the duel between Bazarov and Pavel Petrovich. There are no winners and losers here. But Turgenev, with the intuition of a great artist, feels the words, knows that in life the victory of the Bazarovs is inevitable.
The conflict of generations often takes place in everyday life. Let us recall the wonderful story of A. Aleksin "The Division of Property". This work represents three generations of the same family. Grandmother Anisiya Ivanovna gave all her love, all her strength and time to ensure that her granddaughter Verochka, who suffered a severe birth injury, recovered, learned to overcome difficulties, and was the same as other children. Vera grew up, and grandmother was no longer needed. Everything “in good conscience, in fairness” wants to be done by the girl’s mother, even going to sue her mother-in-law. This is a conflict between the older generations. But there is another one as well. Verochka writes in her note that she will become the part of the property that will go to her grandmother. And, probably, there will no longer be the old relationship between a grown-up girl and her mother. What is destroyed is very difficult to restore.
As we can see, the causes of conflicts between generations are different. They can hardly be avoided with a change in social conditions, the social system, but they often arise in our daily life. I think that the main thing is to learn how to behave with dignity in such cases.
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The conflict of fathers and children in literary works The theme of fathers and children has repeatedly become one of the main problems in many works of Russian classical literature: in the comedy "Undergrowth" by D.I. Fonvizin, in "Woe from Wit" by A.S. Griboyedov, in the novel "The Captain's Daughter" by A.S. Pushkin, in the novel "Fathers and Sons" by I.S. Turgenev.
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The conflict of fathers and children in literary works The conflict in the comedy "Woe from Wit" by A.S. Griboyedov In the comedy "Woe from Wit" Chatsky's clash - a man with a strong-willed character, a fighter for an idea - with the Famus society was inevitable. This clash is gradually becoming more and more violent. Chatsky's views are directed against the existing foundations of society, becoming more and more harsh. If Famusov is the defender of the old age, the heyday of serfdom, then Chatsky, with the indignation of a Decembrist revolutionary, speaks of feudal lords and serfdom. In the monologue "Who are the judges?" he angrily opposes those people who are the pillars of the noble society.
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The conflict of fathers and children in literary works The conflict in the comedy "Undergrowth" by D.I. Fonvizina In the work "Undergrowth" the idea inherent in many satires and parodies is voiced. “I don’t want to study, but I want to get married”, which is nevertheless of interest from the point of view of the conflict of ages. Mitrofanushka's words show his desire to move into a new status, to become a father and teach his children, and not be a subject for teaching. He doesn't want to study or get married. Mitrofan constantly contradicts his mother and other comedy characters who are much older than him. This is the problem of fathers and children in this work.
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The conflict of fathers and children in literary works The conflict in the novel "The Captain's Daughter" by A.S. Pushkin The title itself draws us to the theme of fathers and children - "The Captain's Daughter", and the first word of this story is the word father ... Pyotr Grinev's father spent more time reading the "Court Calendar" than raising his son. From this side, Peter's childhood is not much different from the childhood of Mitrofanushka from "Undergrowth". Father almost forgot his son's age, obviously thinking more about his former colleagues than about him: "Suddenly he turned to his mother:" Avdotya Vasilievna, how old is Petrusha? part with the thought of a good future, which leads to conflict.
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The conflict of fathers and children in literary works The conflict in the novel "Fathers and Sons" by I.S. Turgenev's “The Past Age” does not want to recognize the “current century”, does not want to give up its positions, standing in the way of everything new, in the way of social transformations. The conflict between Bazarov and Pavel Petrovich is not only moral, but also social in nature. They argue about poetry, art, philosophy. Bazarov irritates Kirsanov with his cold-blooded thoughts about the denial of personality, everything spiritual. But still, no matter how correctly Pavel Petrovich thought, to some extent his ideas were outdated. Moreover, his opponent has advantages: the novelty of thoughts, he is closer to the people. And one feature of these clashes should be noted: the younger generation differs from the old one in its patriotic views.
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About the conflict Actual problem of modern society is the conflict between parents and children. According to some data, 42% of all cases when people were forced to seek medical help due to their psychological problems are based on a conflict between parents and children. According to psychologists, the problem of generations was, is and will exist and it is not in our power to solve it.
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About conflict Conflict is a clash or struggle, a hostile attitude. As a rule, it arises due to a complex of reasons, among which it is quite difficult to single out the main one. Conflict is always a complex and multifaceted socio-psychological phenomenon. Family conflict, the conflict between parents and children, has become widespread.
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Types of conflicts between parents and teenagers Conflict of unstable parental perception: Often the cause of conflicts between parents and children is "inconsistency in parental perception", that is, parents constantly change the criteria for evaluating a child. A teenager is not yet an adult, but not a child anymore. As a rule, good qualities are not evaluated, but negative ones appear, to which parents pay more attention than to the positive qualities of their child.
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Types of Conflicts Between Parents and Teenagers Parental dictatorship: Family dictatorship is a form of control in which some members of the family are suppressed by others (in this case, the teenager). At the same time, independence and self-esteem are suppressed. Parents do not allow the child to have a personal life, as they constantly invade it, which leads to a violent conflict between parents and a teenager.
It's no secret that in our world there are quarrels between parents and children, and they, unfortunately, are a very frequent phenomenon.
When opinions clash - the opinions of young people and the opinions of the older generation - the fire of conflict inevitably breaks out, the consequences of which may haunt its participants for many years to come. But what is the reason? In the outdated views of parents? In the maximalism of their children? Let's try to figure it out.
The “problem of fathers and children” has always existed. The most striking example of this can be considered the work of I.S. Turgenev, which to this day raises an urgent problem for all of us. The novel shows a huge number of moments when the opinions of two generations clash, and each of their representatives is ready to defend what he believes in to the last. On the one hand, we have the “past century”, which, although wiser, still has outdated views, on the other hand, the “current century”, carried away by nihilism. Who is right? It is difficult to say, because none of the representatives of the generations went to meet the other, denying other people's views. The heroes, Arkady Bazarov and Pavel Petrovich Kirsanov, were not heard by each other. Endless disputes, disagreements, and as a culmination - a duel. They are opposed by Arkady and Nikolai Petrovich Kirsanov, who treat each other with respect, strive to maintain the unity of family relations, because their conflict ends in reconciliation. The ending of the novel, the wedding of Arkady with Katya Odintsova and Nikolai Petrovich with Fenechka on the same day, symbolizes the unity of generations. Life as an important symbol of the natural school, of which I.S. Turgenev, tests the strength of the heroes. As a result, Arkady and Nikolai Petrovich Kirsanov pass the test of life. Bazarov, having fallen in love with his older sister Odintsova, shows the inconsistency of his ideals, Pavel Petrovich, having lost consciousness from the sight of blood in a duel, shows the dubiousness of his aristocratic principles. As a result, Bazarov dies alone, and Pavel Petrovich lives alone abroad.
But could all this have been avoided?
How many times have you heard, for example, on TV or from your teenage acquaintances such phrases: “My parents make me do not what I want, but what they think is right”, “They don’t understand me ...”, “They don’t care my opinion!”, “I’m afraid that they will punish me, so I won’t tell them what happened”, “They don’t know what they are talking about, but they are trying to convince me that they are right!”?
And how many times have you heard from parents: “We don’t understand him / her at all!”, “It feels like he (a) is doing everything to harm me!”, “I don’t know what is happening to my child ...”, “He (a) doesn’t share anything with me!”? In fact, dozens, hundreds, thousands of such examples can be cited, and each of them will not turn out to be fiction. In Soviet literature, a striking example of conflict relations between parents and children is the novel by M. Sholokhov "Quiet Flows the Don". The conflict parties are the head of the Melekhov family Grigory Panteleevich and his Grigory. The father is the defender of the moral values of the Cossacks, opposes the son's love for the wife of his neighbor Aksinya. Therefore, he gives his son in marriage to Natalya, whom the son does not love. Grigory and Aksinya affirm the human right to love, their relationship challenges the established family values of the Cossacks. The conflict between father and son leads to tragic consequences in the novel: Natalya's suicide attempt, Grigory's leaving home with Aksinya.
Distrust of parents, the desire to fence themselves off from them, the thought that no one understands you, the fear of being punished - this leads to very deep wounds that can bleed for a long time before they heal and turn into scars anyway. Such consequences of the conflict between father and son arise in the novel Quiet Flows the Don.
What should be done to avoid all this?
First you need to understand what exactly has become a bone of contention. There are a number of reasons: The parent's demands to do exactly what he wants. Such a position is inherent in the conflict with his son Grigory Panteleevich Melekhov, in the conflict with Chatsky Famusov;
· Citing as an example "the son of a mother's friend" as a standard of good behavior and deeds; focusing on personal qualities, and not on actions during a quarrel (example: “YOU are terrible”, instead of “you DID disgusting!”). Such a position is inherent in Famusova, when Skalozub acts as a reference model of a young man encouraged by society;
Unwillingness to accept the tastes and interests of your child;
Disagreeing with your child's opinion;
Punishment based on misunderstanding, without explanation of the reasons why the teenager is punished;
All these problems have a common feature - the parent puts himself above his child, justifying this by the fact that he has lived more, and therefore knows better.
It is important to understand, parents, that your child is not your property. He is an individual
which should not agree with you in everything and accept your opinion as the only and correct one, should not correspond to your ideals and achieve what you did not achieve in your time.
Very often, conflicts arise because of too much guardianship or because parents do not know how to show their child their care. As a result, their disagreement in some way does not look like a manifestation of anxiety and a desire to isolate the child from something harmful, but as a simple misunderstanding, hostility. Imagine a situation: a teenager came to his parents in an attempt to tell those about a new genre of music that he discovered for himself, but only after hearing it, the parents spoke negatively and forbade their child to listen to such. It is quite understandable that after such a teenager will no longer share anything and will begin to worry about what has remained misunderstood. Because misunderstanding on the part of parents is the most painful, because their opinion and assessment cannot be ignored, as if they are strangers.
The correct decision in such a situation is to speak out. No one asks a parent to force himself to love the interests of his child, but you need to be more loyal to everything that he tells you about. Do not neglect his feelings. A teenager will become an adult, he will understand that his previous experiences were not as serious as in adulthood, but he will be grateful for the support and that he was listened to when he needed it. Do not judge your son or daughter for their interests - it is better to ask about them. If he/she is/has become addicted to something harmful (alcohol, cigarettes, etc.), explain why this is bad. Perhaps he (a) will not turn out to be of his own interest, but it will not be better, believe me, from the fact that you punish him, shout. This will lead to only one thing - the emergence of new secrets from the teenager.
Don't impose your point of view. TALK to your child and treat him/her as your equal. The validity of this communication strategy is proved by Turgenev's novel "Fathers and Sons". The respectful attitude of the father and son of the Kirsanovs, their desire to maintain family relations, despite the opposite principles, led to reconciliation at the end of the novel.
There is no need to condemn your parents for their mistakes - for the words spoken at the time of the quarrel, for some actions that you sometimes cannot understand. They are people just like you, and they make mistakes like everyone else. No one taught them how to raise a child, for them interacting with you, becoming an authority for you is a very difficult path, learning new things.
Yes, at some point the problem of misunderstanding will appear and this is inevitable, but the task of parents is to help their children, to try to maintain friendly relations with them. As Turgenev's novel "Fathers and Sons" shows, this relationship strategy is the most effective for maintaining family relationships. After all, adolescence and youth is the period when a person most of all needs self-realization, needs people who will understand and accept his interests. When the opinion of society is important to him, but even more important is the opinion of his parents.
§ 1 The main members of the sentence - subject and predicate
In the lesson, we will visit the members of the proposal. Let's remember what the main members of the sentence are called and what they mean.
The subject refers to what is being said in the sentence. Most often, the subject is expressed by a noun or a pronoun.
The predicate names what the subject says in the sentence. The predicate is most often expressed by the verb.
The subject and predicate form the grammatical basis of a sentence.
§ 2 Homogeneous subjects
Consider and compare two sentences.
Starlings came from the south.
Nightingales, swallows and swifts flew in from the south.
Let's find the grammatical basis in the sentences.
In the first sentence, the grammatical basis - starlings flew in: the subject - starlings, the predicate - flew in.
In the second, the grammatical basis - nightingales, swallows and swifts arrived. There are three subjects here - nightingales, swallows and swifts. All of them are connected with the predicate arrived.
Such subjects are called homogeneous. The word "homogeneous" means - belonging to the same genus, category, the same.
What is common in the homogeneous members of the proposal?
Let's go back to the last sentence. The subject nightingales, swallows and swifts answer the same question: who? nightingales, who? swallows, who? swifts. They are expressed by the same part of speech - nouns.
We pronounce the subjects with enumeration intonation.
§ 3 Homogeneous predicates
Let's look at another example:
The first snowflakes flutter in the air.
The sentence is about snowflakes. This is the subject.
It is said about snowflakes that they flutter, spin. There are two predicates, each of which is associated with the subject of a snowflake.
Predicates answer the same question: what do they do? flutter, what do they do? spin. Both are expressed as a verb. We also pronounce these predicates with enumeration intonation.
So, we can conclude that both subjects and predicates can be homogeneous.
§ 4 Isolation of homogeneous terms
In a letter, homogeneous members are separated by a comma.
Let's look at some of the features with examples.
Homogeneous predicates jumped, ran, hid, are connected using enumeration intonation. They are separated by commas.
If there are homogeneous members.
Be sure to separate them with a comma:
Children draw, play, sit,
They argue, laugh, sing, talk. (V. Volina)
If two homogeneous members are connected by the union and, then a comma is not placed between them.
§ 5 The role of homogeneous members in speech
Consider the role played by homogeneous members in our speech. The use of homogeneous members in speech helps to eliminate the monotonous repetition of the same words.
For example, sentences Misha is walking down the street. and Vasya is walking down the street.
can be replaced by one sentence with homogeneous subjects: Misha and Vasya are walking down the street.
Homogeneous members of the sentence show the simultaneity of actions
or sequence of actions
They help to describe objects and events in detail and vividly, and also enhance the emotional coloring of the sentence.
§ 6 Summary of the lesson
A sentence can have several subjects with one predicate and several predicates with one subject. Such subjects and predicates are called homogeneous. Homogeneous members are pronounced with enumeration intonation. In a letter, homogeneous members are separated by a comma. If two homogeneous members are connected by the union and, then a comma is not placed between them.
List of used literature:
- Buneev R.N., Buneeva E.V. Russian language. Textbook for grade 3. - M.: Balass, 2012.
- Buneeva E.V., Yakovleva M.A. Guidelines for the textbook "Russian language", grade 3. - M.: Balass, 2014. - 208s.
- Razumovskaya M.M., Lvova S.I., Kapinos V.I. and others. Russian language. Textbook for grade 5. - M .: Bustard, 2006. - 301s.
- Rosenthal D.E., Telenkova M.A. Dictionary-reference book of linguistic terms. - M.: Enlightenment, 1985. - 400s
- Isaeva N.E. Russian language workbook for grade 3.- M.: Balass, 2012.-78p.
