Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence!

Each person is individual. It consists of a large number of advantages and disadvantages. But all people treat themselves differently. It's all about self-esteem. For most people, it is very underestimated, and this becomes the main cause of many problems. Let's take a look together at what the concept of "self-esteem" means, why it is underestimated, what this problem can lead to and how to increase self-confidence.

What is self-esteem? Her levels

There are several definitions for this concept, but the simplest and most understandable is the following.

Self-esteem is a person's attitude towards himself. It can be high, normal and low.

Inflated self-esteem suffer people who exalt their skills, human qualities, talents, physical abilities, etc. Most often these are “narcissists” who do not have outstanding abilities. They simply cannot adequately evaluate themselves, so they consider themselves better than others.

Adequate self-esteem occurs in people who realistically assess their strengths and skills. They understand that in addition to advantages, they also have disadvantages. But they do not focus on failures, but confidently go through life, achieving their goals.

Low self-esteem not uncommon in today's society. People with such self-esteem cannot adequately assess all their abilities and consider themselves worse than others, constantly create complexes and fears for themselves. These are pessimists who do not believe in themselves, constantly complain about life and do not know how to overcome self-doubt.

Self-Esteem Tests

In order to find out at what level your self-esteem is, we suggest taking a few simple tests.

Self-Esteem Test #1

Try to quickly, without hesitation, answer the following questions. Answer only "Yes" or "No". Then count the total number of positive and negative answers.

1. Do you often beat yourself up for your mistakes?
2. Do you gossip with your friends about others?
3. Do you have clear goals and plans for life?
4. Do you go to the gym and neglect physical activity?
5. Do you often worry about trifles?
6. When you find yourself in an unfamiliar company, do you try not to stand out and be invisible?
7. When you meet a person of the opposite sex, do you know how to keep up the conversation?
8. Criticism in your address causes depression?
9. Are you jealous of the success of others?
10. Are you hurt by careless words spoken to you?

Test result:

If you answered "Yes" 1 to 3 times, then you have normal self-esteem.

If you answered "Yes" more than 3 times, this indicates that you are a person with low self-esteem.

Self-Esteem Test #2

Answering each question, count the number of points earned. After passing the test, add up all the numbers received and compare them with the results.

1. Do you often think and reproach yourself for some actions or statements?

Often - 1 point;

Sometimes - 3 points .

1. How do you behave when interacting with witty people?

Try to surpass them in wit - 5 points;

Try to stop communication as soon as possible - 1 point;

1. Which statement is closer to you?

“Luck is the result of the actions and labors of each person” - 5 points;

"Luck is unpredictable" - 1 point;

“A person should rely only on himself, and not on gifts of fate” - 3 points.

1. If a cartoon was presented to you as a gift, what would you do?

Delighted with a gift - 3 points;

Take offense - 1 point;

Take this idea into service and make a friend a similar surprise - 4 points;

1. Are you experiencing time pressure?

Yes - 1 point;

No - 5 points;

Don't know - 3 points.

1. Choosing perfumes as a gift you:

1. Have you imagined yourself as another person?

Yes - 1 point;

No - 5 points;

Don't know - 3 points.

Test results:

If you scored 10-23 points, then you have low self-esteem. You often express dissatisfaction with yourself. You should think about how to increase self-esteem.

The result of 24-37 points indicates that you are a harmonious person. Know how to praise yourself and adequately treat all your mistakes.

If you scored 38-50 points, this means that you are a confident person, but sometimes you are self-critical.

If after passing the tests you want to learn how to love yourself and increase self-esteem, you need to comprehensively study your psyche.

At first glance, self-esteem is a fairly simple concept that does not imply any difficulties. In fact, self-esteem is the starting point in the formation of personality. It has a number of functions:

• Protective. A morally stable person who is confident in his strengths and abilities is absolutely not interested in what others think of him. High conceit allows you to be stable and independent of the opinions of other people;
• Regulatory. A person with a normal level of self-esteem independently makes decisions of a personal nature. He understands that his life depends only on his decisions and actions;
• Educational. A self-sufficient person is interested in his further development. He craves new knowledge and is constantly improving.

Why low self-esteem needs to be corrected

Perhaps people who have similar problems will not agree that something needs to be changed in life. Of course, it is easier to sit, do nothing, suffer and blame everyone for the failures in your life.

But people with low self-esteem and self-doubt rarely achieve what they want in life, occupy lower positions, have a minimum wage. Maybe they dream of earning several times more, of being self-sufficient.

But for this you need to make important decisions, be confident in yourself, have a goal and try to achieve it. An insecure person will never become a leader, and the business he created is practically doomed to failure.

If you want to become a happy and financially independent person, then you urgently need to correct your psycho-emotional state and learn more about how to love yourself.

Causes of low self-esteem

Our attitude towards ourselves is formed in early childhood. Parents play an important role in this.

If the baby is constantly reproached, scolded, told that he is bad, and, for example, Petya is good, then the child feels that he is worse than others. It seems to parents that they are thus raising their child, but in fact they cripple his psyche and make him a loser in life.

In addition to parents, the environment leaves its mark on the self-esteem of the child. If a kid in a kindergarten or school is offended by peers, he closes, withdraws into himself and begins to hate everything around.

Also, the cause of a bad attitude towards oneself can be a physical inferiority, or developmental flaws. For example, if a child wears glasses, they are more likely to be teased by other children. Parents in this case must compensate for this shortcoming.

For example, if the child is full, then you can send him to the wrestling sports section. There he will develop physically, acquire the skill of self-defense and be able to prove in practice that he is not weak and can stand up for himself.

Many factors influence the formation of self-esteem. And also the reasons for low self-esteem can be:

• Wrong upbringing;
• Constant failure at an early age;
• Wrong goal setting;
• Unhealthy environment, etc.

A person who is insecure is very easy to spot. Psychologists point out several signs of low self-esteem. Such an individual:

• Constantly criticizes himself and expresses dissatisfaction with himself;
• He listens to the opinions and criticisms of others, which is why he suffers greatly;
• There is indecision in actions, afraid to do something wrong and make a mistake;
• Unbridled jealousy;
• Feels jealous of the achievements and successes of other people;
• Tries to please everyone and everyone;
• Hostile to all people around him;
• Does not defend his point of view, constantly takes a defensive position and makes excuses;
• Possesses a pessimistic attitude and negatively perceives reality.

An individual with low self-esteem is constantly looking for problems, blames everyone and does not know how to enjoy life. This attitude towards oneself can lead to serious mental illness and prolonged depression.

If you have at least three of the above signs, then you should think about how to believe in yourself.

Signs of high self-esteem

People with high or normal self-esteem are more successful, cheerful and optimistic. A person who adequately evaluates himself has the following characteristics:

• Accepts its external and physical appearance as it really is;
• Confident in yourself and your abilities;
• He is not afraid to make a mistake, and perceives any troubles as an important lesson;
• Adequately responds to criticism and praise;
• Finds a common language with people. Knows how to behave in society;
• Understands that everyone has their own opinion, respects the choice of everyone, but defends their own point of view;
• Controls his physical and emotional state;
• Constantly improved and developed;
• Achieves set goals.

Without faith in yourself, it is impossible to live a full life, enjoy every day and be a successful person. If you set certain goals for yourself and want to change any aspect of your life, then you will have to change the attitude towards yourself.

It is possible and necessary to raise self-esteem. Your future depends on it. If you still doubt this, then you should know that most suicides are carried out by people with low self-esteem. Therefore, do not be lazy, learn all the ways to increase self-esteem and start working on yourself.

Learn to set achievable and realistic goals

People who do not believe in themselves often set unattainable goals for themselves. And they shrug their hands and say: “I knew that I would not succeed.” It is necessary to try to look at things realistically and set realistic goals.

For example, you want to become a famous fashion designer, but you can neither sew nor draw. In this case, it is necessary to break one big dream into several small ones and gradually realize them. Sign up for cutting and sewing courses, and when you finish them, enroll in drawing courses. With minimal knowledge, it will be easier for you to succeed.

Refrain from criticism

Stop constantly criticizing yourself and listen less to the criticism of others. Do not ask people for their opinion about your action, work done, etc. If someone decides to express their opinion about you, it is better to culturally ask not to do so.

Try to eradicate your dependence on public opinion.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Each person is individual and unique. Someone writes poetry, but does not know how to draw, and artists are not strong in mathematical sciences. Do not reproach yourself for the fact that you do something worse than others and stop constantly comparing yourself.

Realize that you are a unique individual with your own set of talents.

Insecure people do not believe that they can do something good. Therefore, praise can be perceived as mockery or ridicule. Never say that your work done is nothing. When you are praised, do not lower your eyes, hold your gaze and just say “Thank you”.

Don't make excuses

Never make excuses or blame yourself for what happened. What's done is already done. If, for example, some act has negative consequences, it is better to learn from this lesson and not make similar mistakes in the future.

Learn to ask for help

Many people are afraid and do not dare to ask colleagues, friends or acquaintances for help. They think that their ignorance or inability to do something can cause ridicule and bullying. In fact, no one can know and be able to do everything in the world. Asking for help is not shameful at all.

Communicate more often with loved ones and people who love you

In case of failures or some kind of trouble, do not keep everything in yourself. Communicate more often with relatives, because it is they, who, like no one else, believe in you, approve of most actions and always support you.

In the case of blues, do not withdraw into yourself, but simply call your parents, and they will find the right words to support you.

Get your work done

Be responsible for every undertaking. Get everything done, even the smallest things. Do not put them off "for later", because. most likely they will remain unfulfilled.

Learn to love your body

Every person has both advantages and disadvantages. Learn to hide your flaws and highlight your strengths. For example, if it is necessary to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for a woman with broad shoulders, it is enough to choose the right cut of clothes and others will not notice this flaw. At the same time, you need to draw the attention of others to your strengths, for example, beautiful legs. Do not focus on negative qualities, learn to love yourself for a huge number of virtues.

Exercise and lead a healthy lifestyle

We all know that a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. People who care about their health rarely have low self-esteem. This is due at least to the fact that during sports, the hormone of joy is produced, you feel satisfied and light.

Leading an active lifestyle, eating right, you correct your figure, start to like yourself, and this helps to love yourself and increase self-esteem.

Take care of your appearance

If a person does not take care of his hairstyle, manicure, state of clothing, etc., then everyone, and he in particular, is disgusted with the created image. The sight of a sloppy person is repulsive.

But if you go to the hairdresser, put on ironed clothes and use good perfumes, then your shoulders will straighten on their own, and you will feel the new confidence.

Get rid of bad habits

Insecure people very often relieve stress with the help of cigarettes and alcohol. Under the influence of alcohol, problems seem not so big, and life is easier. But when the morning comes, you understand that the difficulties have not disappeared and they need to be overcome.

Do not waste your time on smoke breaks and constant drinking. So you ruin your body and put off solving problems. When you quit at least one bad habit, you will definitely gain faith in yourself.

Hang out with optimists and successful people

A big imprint on our psyche and habits is left by the circle of people with whom we communicate. We adopt each other's habits, thereby trying to imitate someone.

If you are surrounded by people who are constantly dissatisfied with everything and have a pessimistic attitude, then sooner or later you will become depressed.

Avoid the company of whiners and try to communicate with cheerful people who will charge you with positive, inspire confidence in yourself and push you to achieve new goals.

Attend psychologists, trainings

If you are sure that you cannot cope with the problem of low self-esteem on your own, then you can turn to the advice of a psychologist. The specialist will teach you to love yourself.

In parallel with this, you can attend several trainings aimed at increasing self-esteem. It will be at least interesting and useful at the most.

Listen to affirmations

Remember the movie "The most charming and attractive." There, the main character, standing in front of the mirror, repeated the words about how beautiful she is and how men like her. Thus, she increased self-esteem by constantly repeating affirmations.

An affirmation is a small text that people repeat or listen to to increase their self-esteem.

Try to do it too. For example, learn the phrase “I am a successful person. I will achieve all my goals, ”and repeat it constantly. You can also record it on digital media (flash drive, disk, etc.) and constantly listen to it.

After a while, you will forget what low self-esteem is.

Learn to get out of your "comfort zone"

People who are insecure try to be inconspicuous. It is very difficult for them to do new work, errands, or just get to know unknown people.

If you plan to become a successful person and then start doing things that are unusual for you. Take on tasks that you previously avoided. For example, if you are planning a New Year's corporate party, and no one agrees to the role of Santa Claus, propose your candidacy. Thus, you will get rid of the fear of public speaking and get out of your “comfort zone”.

Read positive literature

Give preference to books with a good ending. After reading another fairy tale novel, you will believe that sometimes this happens in life.

Find your dream job

Every person has a favorite activity. But more often the citizens of our country choose a profession not according to the call of the heart, but according to the size of the salary. Therefore, the work performed does not bring the necessary satisfaction, and this can lead to low self-esteem.

In order to raise a man's self-confidence, it is necessary to change his profession, and if this is not possible, then you can try to pay maximum attention to some hobby. Doing what you love gives you confidence, because it's nice to do what you're good at.

Learn to give yourself to others

Whenever possible, be sure to help friends, relatives and little-known people. If they ask for help, it means they believe you can help. Perhaps their faith will raise your self-esteem.

live desires

Successful and confident people constantly want more and achieve it. Try and you will always want something and do everything to achieve it. After the desires are achieved, you will understand that everything works out for you, and you can do whatever you want.

Envy is not the best quality of a person. It makes us compare ourselves to others. Never envy anyone, but rejoice in what you have.

Do not impose, do not be hypocritical and do not fake

These three qualities prevent a person from having adequate self-esteem. If a colleague does not want to communicate closely with you, you should not impose yourself. Find many benefits in this. Do not curry favor with people, in this way you put yourself below someone.

Drop laziness

When a person is lazy, he easily becomes depressed. Of course, we do not urge you to work constantly. Just learn to distinguish laziness from rest.

If it’s hard for you to overcome idleness, then against your will, nevertheless, start doing the planned work, and the desire will come to you a little later.

Take action!

The longer you lie on the couch and dream of a brighter future, the further it moves away from you. Start changing yourself and your worldview now. No need to wait for tomorrow, Monday or the beginning of a new month. Act immediately!

Self-Esteem Techniques and Techniques

Psychologists advise people with low self-esteem to use the following exercises.

Make a list of your positive qualities

People with low self-esteem are not used to speaking and thinking well of themselves. They find it easier to find 100 flaws in themselves than a few virtues. But every person has a lot of positive qualities.

In order to understand this, take a piece of paper and write down all your virtues. For example, you bake the most delicious pies, you can fix any household item, you have beautiful hair, long eyelashes, a thin waist, etc. During the day, add new advantages to the list, and then attach it to a prominent place (for example, on the refrigerator) and review regularly.

Keep a success diary

This method is very similar to the previous one. Only now you have to write down your successes and achievements every day, in the allotted notebook. For example, they gave alms to the needy, helped a child solve a problem, prepared a delicious dinner, helped his wife to make purchases, etc.

This method will help to increase the level of self-esteem, thanks to a visual list of achievements.

Amulet

People have a lot of fears. But every day everyone has to overcome them. If you are unable to do this, try to find an amulet for yourself. It can be any thing (for example, a coin, a small toy, etc.) It is unlikely to have magical properties, but you must believe that the amulet will help you and protect you from trouble.

So, overcoming fear and self-doubt, you will achieve your goals, and any achievements have a beneficial effect on the human psyche.

Actor

Even if you do not feel happy, try to play the role of a cheerful and nonchalant person. Imagine that you are an actor who has been assigned an important role and you need to get used to the character. Very soon you will notice that you have ceased to play a role, and really feel more successful and happy.

This method is aimed at overcoming fears. If you are a shy student and don't like speaking in public, ask for an assignment that involves speaking in public. Propose your candidacy as the main character of a theatrical production, or take on writing a report that you will successfully read at an open seminar.

Leaving your “comfort zone”, you get rid of fears, thereby gaining confidence in your own abilities.

Clown

If you feel inferior, are sure that you look bad and try not to attract much attention, then this method is for you.

Dress very brightly and tastelessly like a clown. Put on provocative makeup, put on pants and a skirt, attach curlers or a winter hat on your head in the summer and go to the store. Do not pay attention to the surprised looks of passers-by. This is how you leave your comfort zone.

After you reincarnate into your everyday image again, you will definitely become confident / confident and increase your self-esteem.

Conclusion

Low self-esteem is a psychological state of a person that needs to be corrected. People without faith in themselves are unhappy in 99% of cases. They are a gray mass that lives its life thoughtlessly. With such a category of people, few people want to communicate. That is why a person with low self-esteem is closed and has almost no friends.

In order to correct the situation it is necessary:

• Believe in yourself;
• Learn to set goals and achieve them;
• Get out of the "comfort zone";
• Communicate with successful and cheerful people;
• Develop mental and physical abilities.

If you use all the tips and do all the exercises, you will definitely achieve great heights in life. And remember the expression that others treat us the way we treat ourselves.

Have you ever wondered why people who started once in the same conditions, life develops differently? Why are you marking time for years, failing after failure, while your peers succeed in all areas?

Why do you waste yourself on unloved work, empty conversations with uninteresting people, and you have neither time nor energy left for what is really valuable? Does life seem gray and meaningless to you, do you get depressed because of every trifle, and someone feels like a favorite of fortune and confidently walks through life?

Is there a way out? There is always a way out of any, even the most hopeless situation, and far from one. But in order to radically change the course of events for the better, it is necessary to study the essence of the problem in detail. The reason for your failures often lies in the underestimation of their merits.

Everything could have turned out differently if you knew what to do and how to find the path that will lead to success and help you believe in your new result. How to raise your level? Why did he suddenly fall down? After all, you once studied well, were bright, talented, showed great promise. What happened?

Why don't you value yourself? 4 main reasons

Reason one: wrong upbringing

Remember the phrase that has already set the teeth on edge: “We all come from childhood”? No matter how trite it may sound, but our vision of ourselves is laid in childhood. Many parents do not even suspect what harm they do to their child, constantly criticizing him, comparing him with others, extolling other people's successes and emphasizing his failures.

Such parents and educators believe that this model of education will spur the child on, stimulate high achievements, without thinking at all about what the baby really feels. It turns out the opposite effect: they lay in a small person a complex of the so-called “excellent student syndrome”. Can you guess what it could lead to in the future? That's right - only to the fact that the child will not love himself.

Throughout his life, he will be haunted by fear - to make a mistake. Because of this, he will miss opportunity after opportunity, refuse to implement interesting ideas, afraid to do something wrong. As a result, he will not be able to realize himself, he will consider himself a loser. And it’s good if one day the right person, a wise book or a film comes across on his way, which will make him understand the essence of the problem and think about his future life.

Reason two: ridicule from peers

Children, sometimes unconsciously, are very cruel. And the trouble is for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Often timid, shy children become targets of ridicule and bullying from their more self-confident peers. Trifling events are transformed by children's consciousness to universal meanings.

Well, just think, he made a mistake at the blackboard or knocked over something from the teacher's table with an awkward movement. The class laughed and forgot about the incident after a couple of minutes.

And insecure children will worry about the incident for a long time, feel like losers, guilty, thereby creating the basis for new mockery from their peers. And the task of adults is not to let the situation take its course, to be puzzled by how to help the child accept and love himself, to calm, encourage and protect him.

Reason three: negative environment

A person is able to adequately evaluate himself when there are interesting, purposeful people in his environment who serve as an example for him to follow, stimulate his development as a person, encourage good undertakings and aspirations.

In such an environment, they are not puzzled by the fact that a person cannot accept himself, because these people know their capabilities, set ambitious goals for themselves and successfully achieve them. If you live surrounded by gray townsfolk who can only rant about a better life without doing anything, then such a norm of behavior will gradually become familiar to you.

Any manifestation of initiative and thoughts on how to overcome self-doubt will only cause condemnation and sneers here. These people will wash the bones of others and complain about life, taking away your energy. Do you think it's worth spending time on them?

Reason Four: Physical Disabilities

Unattractive appearance can really become a serious problem for a person. Since childhood, many have experienced mocking ridicule from peers and short-sighted adults about excess weight, poor eyesight, short stature, and you never know what else.

Often, the inferiority complex associated with appearance is far-fetched, especially in adolescence, when children are extremely self-critical. If all the media promote strict beauty standards that you do not fit into by any means. How can you not get depressed?

There are also serious health problems that a person cannot influence, alas. But even in these cases, there are always means to accept yourself and feel confident, despite your physical ailment. So, we figured out what the root of "evil" is. Now let's look for a way out - ways to overcome uncertainty. In fact, there can be a lot of them, let's analyze at least 10 main ones that have long been tested and proven.

10 ways to raise your standards

• Method 1: Change your environment

As a social being, a person is at least half dominated by his environment. Do you want to be rich, self-sufficient and self-confident? Surround yourself with such people! Each of them at one time thought about how to profitably present themselves and become confident, and started somewhere.

Successful people, consciously or intuitively following karmic laws, as a rule, turn out to be much simpler and more benevolent than they think.

Having reached the heights themselves, they will be happy to meet you halfway, charge you with positive energy, and help you become better and more successful. You will have new goals and opportunities. Your life will sparkle with new colors, it will make sense. Trust me, it works!

• Method 2: Upload Your Brain, Don't Stop Learning

Think back to when you were young. Many of you were self-confident, full of hopes and ambitions. Everything was easy for you, you grasped everything literally on the fly! Why isn't it right now? Why is it that any need to learn at least something new now causes you complete rejection and drives you into depression?

Yes, because then your brain worked hard, every day you received new knowledge. What's stopping you from doing it now? Read useful books, watch wise films, start learning a foreign language, a new computer program, master a new profession, finally.

Download your brain, let it work in full force, and then you will not have problems with how to become self-confident. You will be busy to the fullest, and you simply will not physically have time for depressive conclusions.

If you are not satisfied with your job, and you want to start doing what you love, then now there are plenty of opportunities to get almost any profession remotely via the Internet, even if you are already of a respectable age or live in a small town or village where there are no educational institutions.

• Step 3: Don't compare yourself to others

If you're really confused about how to love yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people. Each person is interesting and unique in their own way. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, more powerful or richer than you.

Although, no matter what we say, a person by nature tends to compare himself with others. In this case, turn this fact to your advantage: let someone else's success serve as an example and stimulus for your own development, and not as a reason for envy and despondency.

• 4 way: love yourself

No one can love and appreciate you until you do it yourself. Believe me, everyone has flaws. It's just that someone skillfully hides them, and someone gets hung up on them, and then does not know how to get out of it.

Better pay attention to your merits. It's impossible that you don't have them. Find something to praise yourself for, what are your strengths. Make a list of your accomplishments and post it in a prominent place. Concentrate on them, cultivate, develop them in yourself.

• Method 5: indulge yourself

Give yourself permission to pamper yourself sometimes. And it doesn’t matter at all what: a fashionable gadget, a beautiful new thing, going to the theater or something tasty. Stop fulfilling only the whims of your relatives. After all, you deserve better too. And this is another great way to start appreciating yourself.

• Method 6: Learn to Accept Compliments

When compliments are given to you, accept them with joy and gratitude. After all, if you throw back “not worth it”, “yes, nothing special”, you not only underestimate your self-esteem, but also offend people who say nice things to you completely sincerely. Therefore, if you do not know how to love and accept yourself, where to start - first of all, reconsider your attitude towards yourself.

• Method 7: Work on your weaknesses

The easiest way is to complain about fate without doing anything to change your life for the better. Are you unhappy with your extra weight? Work on it: go to the gym, go to the pool, do yoga, start eating right. There are many ways to get in shape and improve your physical condition, it's not for me to teach you. Then your thoughts will come into full order.

Everyone can achieve serious heights and universal recognition, even people with serious health problems. Take at least the Paralympians or think of Nick Vuychich. It is they who teach and inspire perfectly healthy people how to cope with their problems and accept themselves. You just need to have a great desire and an iron will. Make a decision once and for all and take action.

• Step 8: Do what you love

Doing what you love is another way to yourself. Find time in your life for this, and it does not matter at all in what status, whether the main work or a hobby. After all, only doing what we love, we get the opportunity to express and realize ourselves to the fullest.

Are you not hired for an interesting job because you lack knowledge? Yes, unfortunately, life does not stand still, and what you were once taught in college or university is no longer relevant. Take courses, attend workshops, find yourself a tutor, or take training online.

• Method 9: Be honest

Very often people are forced to behave insincerely, they cannot honestly and openly speak out about everything that does not suit them. Because either they are too dependent on other people, or they are afraid of offending someone. And it hurts their self-esteem. How to stop being afraid?

Very simple - always be sincere. Believe me, people will appreciate this quality and will be grateful to you. Even if you feel hostility towards someone, it is better to express it openly and try to resolve the conflict than to pretend to be friends all your life, while holding a stone in your bosom.

• 10 way: act!

This is perhaps the surest tactic on the way to how to love yourself and accept your qualities. If you continue to sit with folded arms and silently endure all the blows of fate, then you will finally cease to respect yourself. What then to expect from others? Do not hesitate, take your first step into a new life right now.

Conclusion

If you have read this article to the end, then most likely you are also thinking about how to come to yourself, love and respect yourself, and also make positive changes in your life. Believe me, you can do this at any age, at any level of training, there would be a desire. You are quite capable of achieving recognition and increasing your income.

and gaining self-confidence

It is a fact that low self-esteem is harmful to a person, as it leads to various unpleasant consequences, and in this publication we will look at effective ways to increase self-esteem. The article will be of interest to a wide range of readers, as it contains wise advice that will benefit every person. The following methods will also help you gain self-confidence and make your life more positive and harmonious.

Why is self-esteem low?

Because we live in a selfish society, where everyone, striving to be better than another (or at least look like that - in the eyes of other people or in their own eyes), tends to "lower" others.

A person lowers the self-esteem of another only because he himself has it underestimated - and he tries to compensate for this by suppressing others, using all kinds of available methods, direct or indirect. People with normal self-esteem will not make others "lower" or "worse"; they understand that we are all different and everyone is unique in their own way, and everyone has their own place and role in life. The idea "I'm better than the other" is a sign of bloat and ignorance, nothing more.

How to properly evaluate yourself?

Before we look at how to increase self-esteem, a few words should be said about proper self-esteem in general. In order to properly evaluate yourself, you need to discard emotions and look at the situation sensibly by connecting. And it happens that a person, having read “smart” articles about increasing self-esteem using various methods of self-hypnosis, begins to imagine himself almost as God, which, naturally, from the outside looks ridiculous at best, and at worst - creates even more for a person. problems.

Evaluate yourself sensibly. Do not think that self-hypnosis can deceive life: cunning can work, but in the end everything will be balanced - everyone will get what they deserve. Losers are those people who in a past life tore off a fat piece of the pie for themselves, but they tore it from their own future, so now that the future has become present, they are left with nothing. People say correctly: for every tricky nut there is a tricky bolt.

Therefore, the best way to increase self-esteem, a trouble-free and reliable means, is to work on yourself: , improving in this or that activity and doing good deeds, a person really appreciates himself higher than when he says and does all sorts of stupid things, and therefore gets more, according to his deserts. The conclusion is simple: you need to be a good person and do more good, then there will be no problems with self-esteem. The idea that life can be deceived is completely crazy, and it is better to abandon it immediately.

The methods listed below are bits of wisdom collected on the Internet.

How to increase self-esteem: 20 ways

1. Refuse any destructive criticism and self-criticism. Destructive criticism is a negative assessment of a person, actions or events, which implies an attempt to impose one's point of view on the world. Imposition is violence, and life does not like violence, so do not waste your energy on something that will turn against you. If you can't live without criticism, change it from destructive to constructive and corrective.

2. Give up negative thoughts, stop terrorizing yourself with destructive attitudes. Thoughts create our future - what we think about constantly, we attract. We think about the bad - we attract the bad, we think about the good - we attract the good. Feed off and spread it around is an effective way to boost your self-esteem.

3. Stop blaming yourself and making excuses. If you have done something wrong and you are accused of it, just admit it as a fact. Why the extra emotions and excuses? Yes, I'm guilty, yes, I'll fix it. Do not drive yourself into guilt and do not look for excuses - it's all in the past. Be in the present and think creatively and positively about the future - this way of thinking is the most optimal for a person.

4. Connect more with positive and confident people who do not try to put pressure on you or make you “lower”. Choose or rearrange your social circle, as your self-esteem and self-confidence directly depend on this. They say, "Whoever you go with, that's what you'll get." On our site you can- just for communication, or friendship, or maybe something more.

5. Engage in activities that bring real joy or satisfaction. If this is not about your work, then you need to find a hobby that will give you the feeling that life is not lived in vain. By doing what you really enjoy doing, you gain self-confidence and perhaps even meaning in life, and this significantly raises self-esteem. You can take the Free Purpose Quiz to find out what activities will bring you success and real happiness and start doing them. When a person knows his destiny and does what he loves, he lives happily, using his abilities and talents, and he simply does not have problems with self-esteem.

6. Be patient with yourself. Changing ourselves and introducing a new positive model of behavior into our lives, we want an immediate reward for our actions, but it should be borne in mind that in the material world the effect is separated from the cause by some amount of time, and the reward does not always come immediately.

7. Plan your future. Set yourself realistic (quite achievable) goals, write down real steps to achieve them and regularly implement them - this is an effective way to achieve success and gain self-confidence. Don't procrastinate and don't let the mind think more than it really needs to, because the mind tends to overthink, doubt, and make excuses, "why not do it." If the mind (and for women - intuition) says "it's necessary" and "it's better like this", then it's necessary, and that's it.

8. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and others. If we regret, then we agree that a person cannot cope with the problem, that life is unfair, and that I can be the victim next time. If you can help a person - help, but do not tune in to a negative wave of sympathy and pity, because you will make things worse for yourself and others. Trying to get pity and sympathy (instead of real help) is a manifestation of a subconscious desire "that others should not be better off than me."

9. Gratitude to accept the gifts of fate. Very often people think that blind fate sends blessings to people like me - unworthy. Fate is never wrong - there is simply a delay in time, and we can not always track why this or that good came to us. Accepting the gifts of fate, continue to do good deeds, share positive with others, and more and more goodness will return to you. This way of interacting with the world is the most reasonable.

10. Don't be presumptuous: "one in the field is not a warrior." Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of wisdom. The weak is embarrassed and loses, and the strong, when he feels that he needs support, asks for support, because he himself never refuses to help, if it is in his power and does not contradict common sense. We can solve the tasks that life sets before us, but no one says that this should be done alone. On the contrary, interaction with the world around us is the key to success. Find your support - and you will become many times stronger, gain self-confidence and learn to trust the world around you.

11. Love your flaws and troubles. Any difficulties and problems make us stronger if we overcome them, and do not resist. Resistance to the situation only strengthens it, because we do not try to accept it, but push it away. Therefore, there is no solution, and the situation can be corrected only by accepting it. Cope with emerging problems and situations, this will greatly increase your self-esteem.

12. Take care of your body, because these are not clothes that you can change at will at any time. Keep the body clean, treat and prevent diseases. A sick person is always weaker than a healthy one. Why create unnecessary difficulties for yourself? Eliminate them as soon as you find them, without delay.

13. Bring all things to an end, as unfinished business reduces self-esteem and self-confidence, reminds us of defeat and weakness. Never drop things halfway - then you will have nothing to reproach yourself with. This is a great way to gradually increase your self-confidence.

14. Don't focus on possession. Any thing that belongs to you can suddenly disappear or break. And the more expensive it was, the more difficult its loss, and the more this loss will weaken you. Also, the people we are trying to appropriate to ourselves can leave us at any moment, but the dependence remains. Ultimately, and in our use is only temporarily, do not forget about it. So be for what you have, but don't get attached to these temporary things.

15. Stop showing your importance and pretend that you are better than others. If you do not match the image that you demonstrate, others will put you in your place, and you will look ridiculous. In addition, by such behavior you will attract someone who wants to measure with you in what is usually measured, and you can shamefully lose, which will not contribute to self-esteem in any way.

16. Get over your fears. Fear is the biggest destroyer of your self-confidence. Try to do things that you were afraid to do more often, but do without stupidity, unnecessary heroism and unjustified risk. It may turn out that overcoming fears is the best way to achieve.

17. Help people, benefit society and set others on a positive wave. This will give you confidence; and when you realize that you are helping people, you will no longer consider yourself a failure.

18. Act decisively and purposefully, without looking back or worrying about past failures. Concentrate on the goal and boldly go to it; and when you reach it, there will be no need to raise self-esteem.

19. To study wisdom, trying to penetrate into the most important secrets of life(“Who am I?”, “What am I doing here?”, “How does it all work?”) and get answers to these questions. With spiritual growth, complexes, self-doubt and other problems of material existence disappear.

20. Love yourself now and always. You are a unique person, with a unique set of qualities and abilities, you are an integral part of life, you have a unique role and place in life. God created you just like that; if he wanted you differently, he would have made you different. The Creator accepts you exactly as you are at every moment of time, so there is no point in not accepting and loving yourself. Understanding this greatly improves self-esteem, doesn't it? Therefore, never wait for that bright moment to come when you deserve your own love, otherwise this minute will simply never come.

Of course, there are other ways to increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence, and they can also be successfully applied in your life. Esoteric site materials will help you with this, for example, an article and other similar materials (links to which are given at the bottom of the page, under the article).

Discuss on the esoteric forum :

The level of self-esteem affects all the actions of a person. Most often, a person's self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person's real capabilities are higher than a person's ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person's capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious impact. Of course, there are cases when a person has high self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people.

And for adults, the reverse situation is typical - low self-esteem, which is quite understandable. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when a person's capabilities, for obvious reasons, are seriously limited.

It is quite possible to increase self-esteem, although this is often a rather slow process. However, conscious attempts at building self-esteem can be beneficial to just about anyone.

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help you do just that:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there are people who have less than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.

2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You will not be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Self-esteem correction is directly related to your statements about yourself.

3. Accept all compliments and congratulations in return "thank you." When you respond to a compliment with something like “yes, nothing special,” you are rejecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, building low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your dignity.

Many articles, magazines, books on psychology have been written on how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. But still, many novice entrepreneurs (and not only) are concerned about this issue. Therefore, at the request of our website readers, we decided to write this detailed article about self-esteem without water and in fact. So let's go!

The old misconceptions that in order to be happy you need to:

• believe and obey your parents;
• dance around the fire and worship the gods;
• build communism;
• and so on and in the same spirit (underline as appropriate).

With the development of psychological science, only one thing becomes obvious - only man himself can make himself happy except, of course, for force majeure.

So, from this article you will learn:

1. What is self-esteem and what functions does it have, etc.;
2. How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem - advice from psychologists and experts;
3. How to become self-confident and satisfied with your life;
4. Reasons for low self-esteem, tests, videos, etc.

The article tells how to increase self-esteem, what ways to raise it exist, why people have low self-esteem, etc.

The correctness of self-assessment is a rather complicated thing. This is the one ship's waterline on the high seas, which should not nor rise above, nor go below. Before embarking on a long voyage, it is necessary to understand that nothing will come of it without adequate self-esteem. How does this happen?

The human subconscious builds itself based on many factors. from the first minutes of life.

In order to understand the mechanism of self-esteem formation, it is necessary to understand that:

• one is never alone- he is a herd animal and must be in society (sociopaths are a deviation, a disease);
• every word and deed of others in relation to the individual automatically influences it, forcing one way or another to evaluate oneself;
• for the most part people and builds an opinion about himself, perceiving himself "through the eyes of others", not having the opportunity and desire to analyze their actions on their own and give them a final assessment.

As a result, it turns out that self-esteem – This combined information about all self-assessments of your personality or on the basis of another opinion, which forms your idea of ​​\u200b\u200btheir qualities and shortcomings.

This can also be stated in another way: self-esteem – this is the definition of one's place in the ranking of all people in the world, which is based on one's own and imposed priorities. It looks different for every person.

For example, a blonde who has not read the primer in her life may have high self-esteem, since her society tells her only positive information about her personality, her virtues coincide with those that are in use among her environment and she looks like from her society demands it. That is, it is surrounded on all sides positive and a small share negative she just doesn't notice/ignores.

On the other side maybe yesterday's student engineer, who graduated from the university with an average, got a job and, out of fright, already made a couple of minor mistakes, which were treated quite loyally.

It will seem to him that, compared with more experienced colleagues, he is a nonentity, he will never succeed. Here, mom also says that he is a mediocre son, because he forgot to take out the garbage in the morning, dad assures that instead of higher education, he just had to go to the mine, because there “they pay normal money, and you don’t need to think with a stupid head.” To all this is added the standard appearance and the dream of the girls from the TV.

All this a typical example of low self-esteem that is shaped by the environment. The young man himself has nothing to do with it - rather, he simply moves with the flow that forms his environment.

Without changing anything in his life, he is unlikely to achieve anything in it.

If you do not pull yourself together, he will face such problems:

• failures at work due to constant nervous tension and self-flagellation from the series “I won’t succeed, others will do it better”;
• lack of career growth due to fear of responsibility, thoughts similar to “I can’t do it, it’s not for me, I’m not capable of it”;
• constant fear of losing a job, a feeling of fatigue, depression, possibly alcoholism, the desire to escape reality into an illusory comfortable world;
• the impossibility of adequate relationships with girls, since stiffness and complexes will manifest themselves here too, there will be thoughts from the series “she is too beautiful, I don’t earn so much, I’m ugly, I don’t deserve her.”

This is not a complete list of those trouble and life problems that are born from poor self-esteem, the inability to work with it.

At an older age, it may be problems with raising children, communicating with them. There may also be significant troubles with self-realization, the desire to open your own business and all in the same spirit.

The young man mentioned is just an example, everyone has a reason to think badly about themselves - no one is perfect. It is important to adequately assess your personality as a whole and build connections with the outside world from this.

It must also be understood that it is not only money and career.

A person with low self-esteem cannot initially be happy for the following reasons:

• constant fear;
• persistent nervous tension;
• periodic depression;
• aggravated stress when exposed to adverse factors;
• impossibility of self-realization;
• constant stiffness, up to physical movements;
• lack of self-righteousness;
• compliance with the outside world, weakness of character;
• inability to start something new;
• closed, shy speech;
• constant self-digging.

All these are signs that you do not have happy future, because no one will come and change your life by magic.

In order to look confidently into the future, you need to work on yourself and not be afraid to change. Without this, everything will remain in place, and dreams will turn into collapse.

Basic functions of self-assessment

Exist three main functions that make adequate self-assessment so necessary:

• Protective - solid self-esteem will allow you to be confident in what you think and do, it ensures the stability of your opinion about yourself, and hence an even emotional background, less exposure to stress;
• Regulatory - helps to make the most correct and timely choice regarding your personality;
• Developing - the correct assessment of one's personality gives a strong impetus to its development.

The situation in which a person absolutely independently evaluates his qualities and capabilities and adequately understands what he is good at and what is bad is considered ideal. From this he plans his life - what he will do, what he will study, and so on. Of course, such impossible .

From early childhood to late old age, everything around is trying to influence us, our self-esteem. At the very beginning, we are characterized parents, after peers and friends, then add to this teachers and professors, colleagues, chiefs etc.

As a result, we do not even evaluate ourselves, but compare the opinion of others about ourselves with the ideals imposed by society. Where can we get to adequate self-esteem, some of the information received does not apply to reality at all!

But only by correctly evaluating your abilities, you can understand in which direction you need to develop and what you are like in general.

In this situation, bad any deviation. An inflated opinion of yourself will lead to many painful mistakes in life, although it is more rare. Much more common low self-esteem which destroys people's lives, does not allow to open up, to show the maximum of their capabilities. The neglected form of this problem leads to an inferiority complex, and hence the destruction of the personality.

Essentially, this one of the main reasons that a person cannot earn money. Not confident in himself, he rushes from corner to corner, afraid to take a step that is risky in his opinion or the thoughts of those around him, eventually despairs and continues to live from one meager salary to another.

Moreover, in such cases, one cannot open one’s own business, because the qualities necessary for this are: activity, readiness to risk and accept decisions are taken from true, adequate self-esteem.

Lack of self-confidence takes the energy of the individual, fetters his actions, which leads to a terrible state when a person is only able to think or dream about action, and not resolutely take up the realization of his desires.

2. How to love yourself and what will happen if this is not done 💋

love yourself does not mean become narcissistic. In fact, it has to do with self-esteem. Only the person who is able to evaluate himself, highlight all his advantages and disadvantages, can really honestly and fairly treat his personality.

How to learn to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman and a man

So, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem?

Having low self-esteem, you will only see everything negative in yourself, which of course will not lead to anything good.

Justified self-love based on your virtues and constant work above the shortcomings there is a guarantee that others will treat you well.

It's really hard to love someone who do not appreciate and does not respect myself. It's more of a pity than anything else. Being competitive in business or choosing a spouse or many other things is only possible if you have high self-esteem and right attitude towards yourself . repressed and downtrodden personality cannot be realized in the modern world.

It is a big mistake to constantly look for flaws in yourself. The more you do this, the more difficult it will be for you to make any, even the most insignificant decision.

self-criticism- this is excellent, but it must be harmoniously balanced with praise, forgiveness and respect for one's own personality.

Our psyche has enough specific defense mechanisms against pain, discomfort and various threats. Our consciousness is only the visible part of a huge iceberg, which hides the subconscious. It is also not homogeneous and consists of various personalities "coexisting in one body." Each of them affects the consciousness, the body constantly expressing its desires and needs.

Suppressing the natural desire to be happy, developing an inferiority complex, you make it possible to crawl out the most dark corners of your psyche.

This can lead to various psychological deviations of varying severity. A calm person will be doomed to eternal depression(read the article - ""), and in a sensitive nature, signs of schizophrenia, various manias and other extremely serious diseases. Of course, these are very rare cases, but the risk exists.

3. How to determine that you have low self-esteem?

Here is a list of signs by which you can determine whether a person has low self-esteem:

• a large amount of criticism addressed to you, both on the case and out of the blue;
• dissatisfaction with any of their actions and results;
• too strong a reaction to extraneous criticism;
• a painful reaction to an opinion expressed about oneself, even a positive one;
• fear of doing something wrong;
• indecision, it takes a long time to think before doing anything;
• unhealthy jealousy;
• strong envy, especially when others have achieved something;
• an obsessive desire to please, literally creep in front of others;
• hatred of one's environment, unreasonable anger at others;
• constant excuses;
• the desire to protect yourself from everything in the world;
• enduring pessimism;
• lots of negativity all over the place.

Low self-esteem makes a person suffer much more from failure. Any problem is temporary, especially if you start solving it in time.

If a person is insecure, then she will aggravate the trouble until she becomes insoluble, eventually drop his hands and leave everything on gravity that will bring problems in all areas of life.

Such an approach on an ongoing basis will aggravate self-esteem, make you feel worthless, as a result hate yourself.

Society is very sensitive to this, and as soon as your negative attitude towards yourself becomes noticeable, others will begin to treat you worse. The further, the more that eventually ends in alienation and reclusion, a deeply unhappy existence, lack of money and personal life, psycho-emotional disorders.

There is an absolute pattern: respect yourself and others will respect you .

Success factors are self-confidence and high self-esteem

4. Inflated self-esteem and self-confidence 👍 are the most important success factors

Self love- this is not a flaw, not arrogance, and so on. It is worth distinguishing between narcissism and a healthy respect for one's personality.

The most important thing - Reconcile your opinion with reality. If you are really good at carving wood, love yourself for it, be proud of it, even brag about it.

If you have just started doing this - appreciate yourself for striving for something new, desire to do something. In each action, one can find positive parties and negative . Love yourself for the first and adequately treat the second.

Only in this case, the people who surround you will see your positive aspects, start you value and respect. If everything is the other way around, and you look for more and more flaws in your work, others will do the same. And believe me, they will find them.

The more you will confident the more people will reach out to you. And those who have a level of self-esteem higher than yours, and those who have it lower. They will want to communicate closer, start cooperation, just talk with an interesting, confident person who is not afraid and does not hesitate to tell what he sees fit or to do what he thinks is right.

The strength of the spirit attracts everyone- from small to large, which will make you not only popular, but also more satisfied with your life.

Signs of good, high self-esteem:

• the physical body is not a burdensome ugly shell, but a given from nature;
• self-confidence, their actions and words;
• mistakes are not obstacles on the way, but a way to learn more;
• criticism is useful information that does not affect self-esteem;
• compliments are pleasant and do not cause strong emotions;
• speak calmly with all people, do not feel awkward when communicating with strangers;
• each opinion expressed is valuable, but does not fundamentally affect the opinion of the person himself;
• take care of the condition of the body;
• worry about their emotional balance, correct it if necessary;
• constantly harmonious development, without jumps and unrealistic tasks;
• they finish what they started, achieve success in this and are not afraid of it.

Believe in yourself, respect your own self- this is the basis for achieving any goal, including the fundamental one - be happy. This will help you grow above yourself today, forget about those troubles and disgusting feelings that you experienced at the bottom of your own self-esteem.

In the territory of the former Soviet Union, many members of the older generation have big problems with self-esteem. At that time, it was extremely unpopular, since the general good was the leading one, and not the happiness of everyone. Next generation 90s also did not receive enough adequate positive information about themselves from the world due to the difficult situation in the country, lack of money, dangerous criminal situation.

At this time, it's time to forget about it and think about own well-being. In order to change your self-esteem, you need to work on your personality.

This will be the very qualitative change in life that you have dreamed of so much.

The main reasons for low self-esteem

5. Low self-esteem - 5 main causes of self-doubt 📑

The mouse race, in which a person participates from birth, forces him to form a certain opinion about himself. As a result, by the beginning of a conscious life, we often get unhappy and sad a young man who perfectly understands that ahead of him and his complexes there is a lot of trouble and the need to work. Why is it so?

Reason #1. Family

If you ask yourself where a person gets their opinion of themselves, the first correct answer is family. We receive most of our psychological attitudes at a very young age. This is due to the fact that during physiological development, emotional formation also occurs.

In other words, while we are growing up, our parents and environment are laying down the brick-by-brick foundation of our future personality.

It is logical to assume that the opinion created in childhood about ourselves will remain with us for many years, and maybe for life. It is good if parents understand this and are responsible for what they say to the child and how they do it. However, this does not always happen.

For example, according to parents, a child from kindergarten constantly makes mistakes. The progress of parental humiliation looks like this:

• Built a beautiful house from the designer? And who will clean it up?
• Did you beat the guys from the neighboring yard in the game of snowballs? Yes, you’re all wet, you’ll get sick, but we don’t have any money anyway!
• Got an 5 in Physical Education? Where's the math, stupid?
• What do you mean you like this girl? Her father is a gardener, and this is not prestigious!

So, day after day, parents impose on the child that he cannot do anything right. The kid stops believing that he is able to do something with his hands, have fun, choose a partner, company, and so on.

Against this background, self-love cannot arise in any way, who can respect and appreciate such an awkward creature? Then, about twenty years later, parents are surprised to discover that their child is a loser, has not achieved anything in life, is lonely and sad and blames him for this ... himself, because they put so much effort into him, and he, ungrateful... and all in the same vein.

What should a person do in this situation? Of course, work on yourself, increase self-esteem and strive for happiness. Everything is possible, the main thing is to want.

Parents should remember that criticism is a dangerous tool of education that can lead to painful consequences. It is worth knowing that you are raising a separate person who must be confident in his decisions and actions, have his own opinion, be able to make decisions, and not limply follow you as an extension of your body and mind.

The best situation for a baby is good and affectionate mother who always calm and happy. The father, on the other hand, must be demanding, have serious authority and, most importantly, treat the child fairly at any age.

It is also worth paying attention to every baby in the family, even if there are a lot of them. So-called " little brother syndrome", when the younger is reproached for the success of the elder - worse What can you think of to build a healthy self-esteem.

As family for a child- the center of the universe, you should carefully consider his ego. If you feel that your self-esteem is falling, raise it.

It doesn't take much to do this - just give him fair praise a few times a day and he'll go to bed happier. Encourage him to do what he does best and gently point out flaws rather than criticize. So the self-esteem of the child will inevitably rise and ensure his stability in life and a happy future.

Reason number 2. Failure at an early age

From early childhood on our way there are failures. This is inevitable for every person, because we live in a far from ideal world. An adult with a stable psyche is usually quite calm about failures, can overcome them and extract useful information from them, but this is not always the case with children.

At a very early age, even if you don’t remember the failure, it is possible that it is in the depths of your subconscious and whispers all the time: “ do nothing, it won't work anyway, I'm always behind you". This must be fought.

Over time, if you work on your personality, these memories will come up, they will be very painful and unpleasant, but having analyzed them in detail and realizing that your mistake is completely insignificant and should not subsequently affect you in any way, you will get rid of a significant burden on your heart.

Starting from the time you remember well all your troubles, it is much easier to work with this. Rummaging through the mind, you are sure to find a couple dozens moments that have haunted you since high school. Refusal of a roommate, teacher's bad expression, father's rude comment, failure in competition, double in physics are all examples of a heavy load that lowers your self-esteem and takes away positive energy for eternal torment over long-experienced problems.

All this from youth forms the consciousness of a loser who simply cannot achieve something in life, and this is a lie - after all, everyone is capable of it.

Reason number 3. Life passivity

The formation of personality begins in childhood and in the early stages does not require any effort from us. However, the older we get, the more this situation changes.

To 15 years old our personality will not move forward an inch if we do not try for it. That is, over time, more and more willpower will be required from each person in order to at least remain at the original level, for development it will be necessary to do more and more.

If from childhood a child is depressed, not used to working on himself and developing, in adulthood he will relate to the so-called gray mass.

This substance in society is characterized by the fact that its unit:

• does not want to develop;
• constantly putting off important things for later (procrastinates). About that, read in one of our articles;
• does not dream of more;
• does not take personal responsibility for himself or his family;
• accustomed to poverty/small prosperity;
• does not take care of himself, his appearance;
• believes that everything new is terrible and superfluous in his life;
• does not know how to be satisfied or dissatisfied - emotions are absolutely inert.

There is a famous physicist saying that a person without willpower is just a vertical puddle. The gray mass consists of such individuals. This is not an example of poor self-esteem, but of its complete absence.

No aspirations, no wishes, eternal lack of money and lack of any bright impressions that can dispel the gray reality.

This is a rather sad sight that destroys thousands of lives, including those children who grow up in such families. Raise self-esteem in such a case it is vital for women and men.

If this is not done, a happy, bright, full of emotions life will pass by, leaving fragments of poverty and an eternally depressive mood.

Reason number 4. Environment

We are all surrounded by a large number of people. Some of them are successful, others not so much, and others do not want to be so. If you decide to take everything from life, to make yourself a happy, self-confident person, you should acquire the appropriate environment.

Signs of an unhealthy society:

• constant groundless philosophizing, verbiage;
• criticism of everything in the world, from the government to neighbors, especially groundless or meaningless;
• inertia and lack of initiative, for example, if you cannot persuade your friends to go to a concert or a movie;
• constant gossip, condemnation of others behind their backs;
• planning to get rich quick without any action or effort;
• a large amount of alcohol, cigarettes and other bad habits.

The lack of desire to develop, work and generally try in life is quite contagious. In such a company, you feel no worse than anyone, but it relaxes, requires a lot of time and emotions, pulls you to the bottom. This is energy vampirism which is difficult, even impossible, to fight. If you can, leave such a company or environment completely, if not, just minimize communication.

The best society for those who strive to develop is people who have already achieved. Don't know how to meet them? Try going to places you haven't been before. Usually this libraries, book the shops, theaters, thematic establishments, seminars, trainings etc.

Reason number 5. Appearance problems

A strong factor, especially in adolescence, is appearance. If she has some defects, then even with the right approach of relatives to education, low self-esteem can be formed on the basis of the opinions of peers, teachers, and so on.

The most common example in this case is excess weight. Offensive nicknames, the lack of attention of girls / boys, the contemptuous attitude of some adults - all this naturally affects the personality of the child.

If this manifested itself in adulthood, then the person will demonstrate his resentment not so clearly, but the pain will not decrease from this.

In order to change this, you can try to fix the defect. For example, if this is a diet, then the whole family should sit on it so that the child does not feel disadvantaged. If change is not possible, the child needs to be helped to come to terms with this situation and develop in a different direction.

There are many charismatic and attractive fat men in the world and thin people who are absolutely not interesting to anyone.

7 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Become Self-Confident

6. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways 📚

Having figured out what self-esteem is, why it is needed and what influences it on its formation, you can proceed to how to work with it, namely how to raise it.

It’s not enough just to realize that you don’t evaluate yourself correctly, you also need to be able to change the situation. Below are some interesting and effective ways to increase self-esteem and confidence.

Method number 1. Environment

The society you move in defines who you are. It is important for everyone not to be the last. In a company where no one has achieved anything, you feel comfortable because everyone is just like you.

Now imagine that you find yourself in a social circle where one bought a new car yesterday, the second opened a new branch of his store, the third recently graduated from university. At the same time, you hardly graduated from technical school, and can't get a job anywhere.

What will your feelings be? Certainly unpleasant. In addition, you will receive a powerful, powerful impetus to development, a desire to do something significant for your life and career. At first you will feel awkward, but over time you will realize that you are changing for the better with this company.

In addition, you will get rid of the eternally depressing social circle that pulls you to the bottom and ridicules all your timid undertakings.

A strong and successful person will never, laughs at those who are just trying their hand. On the contrary, he will help and prompt, even support, if necessary.

Look for the right social circle that will make you work on yourself.

Method number 2. Literature, trainings, films

Having dealt with the environment, proceed to decisive steps, namely, take up reading books on working on yourself, increasing self-esteem. This list will help you:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Sharon Wegshida-Kroes “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself”;
• "The Charm of the Feminine" by Helen Andelin;
• Louise Hay Heal Your Life.

Next stage - attending seminars and practices . People who want to change and coaches who are able to give it to them gather here. Thus, you change the environment and get the desired information. This is an effective way that allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

Method number 3. The comfort zone is actually the enemy

No matter how strange it may sound, but for now you comfortable and calmly in the world in which you exist is very bad for your personality. The established rules of life will make you ossify and freeze at one place. Only by doing something new can you develop.

In fact, it only seems to you that you already have all the best. There, outside your invisible cage, lives and rages wonderful and amusing a world that is filled not with difficulties and troubles, but with incredible adventures, new stories and acquaintances.

As soon as you throw your fears into the furnace, it will open up to you, instill a sense of self-confidence and show many of the brightest events that you could not even think of.

What do you need to do to leave your "comfort zone"? Analyze where your time is going. How many hours a week do you watch TV, how much do you drink, how much do you play games, and so on. Reduce this time by three hours in seven days and devote them to something new. For what you've always wanted: sculpt from clay, sew a new dress, plant a flower, go to the circus / cinema / theater. The more active the better. Over time, a bright life will suck you in, and you will forget about the mediocre chatty box and other garbage items.

Method number 4. Down with self-criticism!

If you stop eating yourself alive superfluous self-criticism , you can immediately complete three extremely important tasks, which in other ways will take you a lot of time and effort.

First of all, you will get a lot of free energy. All those forces that you spent on self-criticism and the search for reasons for it can be directed to actions that are more pleasant and useful. For example, reading exciting books with a relaxing plot or writing poetry, knitting, planting flowers, and so on.

Secondly, you will begin to perceive yourself as a holistic person who has his own personality. Yes, you do not look like Vasya, Einstein or Alain Delon. Do not need! Be yourself, and do not participate in the eternal, someone else's competition in which someone has already taken first place.

Thirdly, you will begin to notice in yourself not only the negative, but also the positive aspects. Everyone has something good, something that he knows how to do. Discover it, isolate and educate, improve, nurture, without wasting time and effort. This is the best investment in yourself!

Whatever painful mistakes you encounter, don't let yourself grieve over them for more than an hour. After suffering a little, force yourself to be happy again, and take failure as an experience.

Method number 5. Physical exercise

So unloved by many, physical activity greatly affects our emotional state. To boost self-esteem, buying a gym membership can do more than a lot of training.

This happens because:

• during sports, a wonderful hormone dopamine is released in a person, which excites our brain and gives a pleasant encouragement, colloquially it is also called the hormone of joy;
• you bring your body, and hence your appearance, into perfect order, so that over time you can be proud of it and respect yourself for the work done;
• even the classes themselves are important without results, because in the process of performing each exercise you overcome laziness, complexes and other troubles;
• improving well-being gives and develops confidence in yourself and your actions, in every step - it is easier for you to move and feel, it is easier to persuade yourself to start doing something.

This is a great way to improve the quality of life for people with a sedentary lifestyle and the same job. All day, after spending in a stuffy office, it is worth unwinding, but not going to drink beer in a bar. It's more likely to have a detrimental effect on you, and sport on the contrary, it will update and make it more cheerful.

A heavy-lifting person, with a heavy and unattractive body, cannot feel good in the company of slender and healthy people. This is fertile ground for the development of complexes, lowering self-esteem and other troubles.

Among other things, sports will help to start New acquaintances with purposeful people who can teach and show by your own example, that any changes are possible, which also has a beneficial effect on your psyche.

Method number 6. Subconscious programming

You can also influence your consciousness with the help of another, no less interesting and effective tool - programming. In psychology, this is called affirmations. Consider your computer. You give it a command, it processes it and takes the requested action. It's the same with our subconscious, only a little more complicated. You can't just say, "make me happy and confident."

The code, the command is memorized or recorded on the recorder. It should sound like a solid, realized fact. For example, "I am confident", " girls like me», « I can have what I want without much effort» and all in the same spirit. There should not be many such phrases, they should be repeated in the playlist or just to yourself for about two minutes.

These affirmations and they will be the very installation in the subconscious, the command for the computer, which will convince your subconscious of what you need. Do you want to be confident- please convince the hidden parts of your brain of this and it will independently remake the entire conscious part so that you become completely independent and can easily make decisions.

There is one rule here - you need to do this regularly, even after you feel the changes. Continue until you are surprised to find that the affirmations you are listening to are already a fact.

Remember that these words should have an extremely positive effect on your personality, not form ambiguities and not be in doubt. What you convince yourself of should have only benefits, without negative effects, because it will not be easy to “persuade” the subconscious mind back.

Method number 7. Remember your victories

Never neglect what has already been done. This is important for your consciousness, and for the subconscious and for a good mood. There is always something to praise yourself for, and if this is not enough, you will begin to subconsciously strive to do something good for the sake of it. Even if you praise yourself.

To operate this mechanism, start a notebook of victories. In it you need to write down everything that you consider a good deed, a useful action, and so on. Any little things or minor victories - all this is very important for your self-esteem, a sense of being needed in the world.

It might look like this, for example:

• had breakfast on time;
• took the linen from the laundry;
• bought some roses for his beloved wife;
• pleased his daughter with a game of tag;
• earned an award for a well-written report;
• went to the gym three times a week;
• lost 300 grams.

As you can see, achievements can be anything as long as they brought joy to someone or moral satisfaction to you. In a few months, you can collect an impressive collection that will warm your soul on cold evenings.

Write it down in your personal notebook and in difficult times when you cannot find strength in yourself do some difficult task or go up to an extracurricular meeting at work, reread a few pages of the diary.

Your mood is guaranteed to rise, you will remember how many positive emotions your efforts brought to you and your loved ones, and this is a powerful impetus to defeat all the troubles in the world.

The use of these ways to increase self-esteem requires regularity and mindfulness. Carefully monitor your state and thoughts, try to highlight the most successful of them, watch how you change.

This will help you get to know yourself better, learn to communicate with your inner self, and control your life.

Coaching to develop and increase self-confidence - by overcoming public opinion

7. Self-confidence training - overcoming the opinions of society 📝

The society that surrounds us, as we have already understood, seriously affects our self-esteem. If you attach too much importance to it, then it is quite capable of destroying the personality.

Of course, criticism is important. Our loved ones point out our mistakes to us, show us the moments in which, in their opinion, we did wrong and this is good. It is called healthy relationships .

However, let it completely define your personality bad. Each person must independently decide what is good in his life and what is not, and how in the end he will act in a given situation.

Don't worry about what others will say about you first. First, decide what you think about it, and try to perceive the rest of the information as a background, secondarily.

Try to make sure that the opinion of society depends on yours, and not vice versa. There are several interesting exercises for this.

A little circus. This is just a physical exercise that will require serious psychological strength from you. Look in the closet for something ridiculous - an old long tie, funny pants, anything that seems funny to you. Now put it on and boldly head out into the street. Go shopping, go to the movies and so on. It's not worth doing this at work.- may be misunderstood, otherwise - complete expanse. However, do not overdo it, first take less provocative things and eventually put on something more fun so as not to immediately injure your psyche.

This exercise works like this. Your subconscious retains a lot of complexes that are associated with its appearance. The more you go out of your comfort zone, that is, dress inappropriately, the more your subconscious mind will independently destroy established complexes and make your consciousness, and therefore life, freer.

More public. This exercise is simple. The more you speak in public, the more honed this skill will become. Speaking in front of a large number of people requires composure, high-quality preparation, and an effort of will.

This will help you learn to concentrate and complete the task quickly, while being responsible for the result. In addition, it will elevate you in the eyes of your superiors, and will recommend you well among a large audience.

Do these two exercises and be firm in your opinion.

8. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem 📋

Much has been said about self-esteem. It may be difficult for you to immediately perceive and implement the entire situation.

For this there is 5 golden rules to print out and hang on the fridge. Constantly reminding and reading them will do the job for you. On a subconscious level, your brain will perceive them as instructions for action and will facilitate the period of transformation into a successful person.

• No need to compare yourself and others!
• No need to beat yourself up for mistakes!
• Surround yourself with positivity!
• Learn to love what you do!
• Prefer action over passivity!

Everyone unique and worthy happiness. It is imperative to unleash your unlimited potential in order to get everything out of life.

This requires constant work on yourself and a mandatory increase in self-esteem. But the results will not be long in coming, which will benefit both you and your environment.

9. Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today 📄

The first practical task on the way to increase self-esteem is to determine its level. To do this, there is a very simple self-esteem test of a dozen questions.

It is very easy to pass it - read each item and answer " Yes" or " No" . Every time you answer " Yes"Remember.

1. Do you sharply criticize yourself when you make a mistake?
2. Gossip is one of your favorite activities?
3. You do not have clear guidelines?
4. Are you not physically active?
5. Do you often worry about the little things?
6. In an unfamiliar society, do you prefer not to be noticed?
7. Does criticism make you feel stressed?
8. Envy and criticism of others often happens?
9. The opposite sex remains a mystery, scares you?
10. Can an inadvertently thrown word offend you?

Now you need to remember how many "Yes" you said. If less three Your self-esteem is at a normal level. If more three- you need work on it.

10. Conclusion + related video

With a sincere desire to change and change your life, you can achieve a lot. Raising, normalizing self-esteem, this is one of the first, fairly simple steps, which ultimately allows you to achieve success, happiness and of money.

Do not spare your strength, do not take care of yourself until better times. Develop now, get invaluable experience and build your future on a new level!