If it is difficult for a person you care about, you should be there. Even those who do not want to appear weak are waiting for a kind word. This makes it easier to deal with problems. Yes, circumstances are not always conducive to this. But if you are alive and well, did not fly on an expedition into space, then there are many ways to support a loved one without a personal presence. One option is messengers.

In dark times, bright people are clearly visible.

Erich Maria Remarque

In order for these words to touch you on a positive side, we offer a complete list with examples of supportive messages that you can send. Copy SMS and immediately send to the recipient.

Universal

In your own words

* * *
I want you to know that even in this moment you are not alone. There are many like you. Lots of. You just don't know. And this confirms the fact that it can be experienced!
* * *
To reach the goal, you must first of all go. If something happened, then you are not standing still. This is just an event that met along the road of life. Nothing just happens.
* * *
The biggest mistake you can make in life is the constant fear of making mistakes.
* * *
Life is not suffering. It's just that you suffer from it, instead of living and enjoying it.
* * *
There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create it well anywhere.
* * *

* * *
When you feel very bad, raise your head. You will definitely see the sunshine.
* * *
When you really want something, the whole Universe will help to ensure that your desire comes true.
* * *
You can only see what you believe. Believe and you will see.
* * *
Fuck everyone who doesn't believe in you. Remember once and for all: faith in your own strength is the main incentive to achieve your goal.
* * *
If you don't believe in yourself, you won't achieve anything. Therefore, avoid those who make you doubt your own abilities.
* * *
Do not waste your thoughts, emotions and feelings on unworthy people.
* * *
Helping others improves your own life.

In verse

* * *
While we are alive, we can fix everything ...
Realize everything, repent ... Forgive.
Do not take revenge on enemies, do not dissemble loved ones,
Friends that pushed away, return ...
While we are alive, you can look back ...
See the path you came from.
Waking up from terrible dreams, push off
From the abyss to which they approached.
While we are alive ... How many have managed
Stop loved ones that are gone?
We did not have time to forgive them in life,
And to ask for forgiveness, - Could not.
When they leave in silence
There, from where there is definitely no return,
Sometimes it takes a few minutes
Understand - oh my God, how guilty we are ...
And the photo is a black and white movie.
Tired eyes - a familiar look.
They already forgave us a long time ago
For the fact that they were too rarely around,
For no calls, no meetings, no warmth.
Not faces in front of us, just shadows...
And how much was not said
And not about that, and not with those phrases.
Tight pain - guilt final touch -
Scraping, cold skin.
For all that we have not done for them,
They forgive. We cannot ourselves...
* * *
When a tear drips from pain ...



You sit quietly in silence ...
Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired ...
Tell yourself alone...
I'll be happy! Through thick and thin!
* * *
Yes, everyone is missing something...
That snow for some reason quickly melts,
That morning comes late
There are no warm days.
There is always something lacking.
But, living the rest of the days,
Suddenly I see - there is no lack
Nothing ... just not enough years
To stop getting angry
To life and enjoy it.
* * *
You don't have to live to get to heaven
And you need to create a paradise!
Do not slander, do not betray
And don't steal the lives of others.
Sometimes an atheist
According to my conscience
Closer to God than an artist
What is in the cassock for people ...
Once God is in the heart, then heaven is in the soul!
And if it's dark
You can't get to heaven already
Hell no matter...

Loss of a loved one

parents

* * *
Hold on! In memory of my mother. She wouldn't want to see you in despair.
* * *
The death of a loved one is an irreparable grief. I understand how hard it is for you. Be strong in spirit.
* * *
A bright memory of her forever in our hearts. She was a good person, you need to continue to carry out her mission.
* * *
We sincerely mourn and condole with you at this bitter moment.
* * *
We will carry a bright and kind memory of him throughout our lives.

child

* * *
Accept my condolences! There has never been a better one, and there never will be. But in yours and in our hearts, he will remain a young, strong, full of life man. Everlasting memory! Hold on!

* * *
Condolences to you! You need to find the strength in yourself to survive these most difficult minutes and difficult days. In our memory he will forever remain a good man!
* * *
Let me express my most sincere condolences on the occasion of a heavy, irreparable loss!
* * *
For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. And may his love of life illuminate your emptiness and grief of loss, help you survive the time of farewell. We mourn with you in difficult times and will remember him forever!
* * *
It is very bitter to lose loved ones and relatives, but it is doubly difficult when young, beautiful and strong leave us. God rest his soul!
* * *
I would like to find words to somehow ease your pain, but are there such words on earth at all. Hold on for the sake of blessed memory. Everlasting memory!

Husband/wife

* * *
Love never dies, the memory of it will always light up your heart. You just believe in it!
* * *
A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be near. In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! Be strong!
* * *
The past cannot be returned, but the bright memory of this love will remain with you for life. Be strong!
* * *
I grieve with you at this difficult moment. But for the sake of children, for the sake of loved ones, you need to survive these mournful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.

Relatives

* * *
My condolences! It hurts to think about it, it's hard to talk about it. I sympathize with your pain! Everlasting memory!
* * *
Little consolation, but know that we are with you in grief of loss and sincerely empathize with your entire family! Everlasting memory!
* * *
Please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! As she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out. Heavenly kingdom to her!

Friends

* * *
I know he meant a lot to you. They say heaven takes the best. Let's believe in it and pray for his soul!
* * *
You were like sisters, I understand your feelings. I want to share this grief with you. How can I help you? You can always count on my support.
* * *
He was a good person. I understand how difficult it is for you right now. Time heals wounds, you must be strong for the sake of your best friend. he wouldn't want you to sag.
* * *
I am very sorry that this happened. I'm truly sorry! You hold on. Your friend is watching you from the sky. Make him proud of you. For the sake of your friendship.

Disease

Addressee

* * *
God does not send such trials to a person that he is unable to survive. So you can, and you will definitely cope with it. I believe!
* * *
Listen to the advice of doctors and take care of yourself. For the sake of a happy future and people who care about you.
* * *
I'm sorry about what happened. Remember, you can always count on me.
* * *
The soul would not have a rainbow if the eyes did not have tears. You'll be fine.
* * *
Everything will be fine. You will get better and life will be filled with bright colors, remember: after the black stripe there is always a white one!
* * *
Believe in your recovery, because good mood and optimism can play an important role. Everything will be fine! It cannot be otherwise!
* * *
Let it be bad now, but then everything will be fine. Everything will change and the pain will recede. God will give strength to endure everything, do not lose hope, hold on.
* * *
Think positive, believe in recovery, do not succumb to illness, fight! It's hard, but you have to keep going! We love you and believe that together we will definitely overcome the disease.

close person of the addressee

* * *
He (she) will definitely recover, you just need to believe and not lose hope.
* * *
Everything will be fine! We are always there. If you need help - get in touch.
* * *
Think only about the good! The disease will pass, he (she) will recover. It won't always be bad. You just have to wait.
* * *
We will pray for him (her), and you hold on!
* * *
God does not send trials that a person cannot survive. And she can! We are sure of it! If you need our help, please contact us. Let's do our best and get better!

Treason

Husband

* * *
Everything in life is for the better, only we understand this over time. The pain will subside, and you will look at the world with different eyes. And then there will be already much worthy people nearby!
* * *
Darling, everything will pass, everything will be fine. I know you are a strong woman, you can handle it. He didn't deserve you. Find the strength to endure this pain. And believe me, all the good things are ahead!
* * *
Everything will be alright. You are a self-sufficient and smart woman. Gather the pain into a fist and throw it away along with all the memories.
* * *
Start life from scratch, do not think about the past. This can be learned. You can do it!

If a close friend has a similar situation, for example, find out and help her with good advice.

Wives

* * *
A woman does not cheat with her body, she cheats with her soul - remember these words. Why do you need a person who betrayed? Find the strength within yourself to get through this. And the sooner you do this, the sooner something good will knock on your life.
* * *
When you leave, you need to leave! Find the strength not to return to the place where you were once betrayed. If you need moral support, you can always contact me. I think you deserve better treatment!
* * *
Respect yourself and understand that you are not on your way with this person. She doesn't deserve respect. Forgive her, let her go and make room next to you for a more worthy woman.

Find out and help the man make the right decision.

guy

Life filters people who don't deserve you. Be grateful to the higher powers that they take care of you and remove from your life those who do not make you happy. It's hard for you right now, that's okay. But over time, you will be convinced that everything is only for the better.
* * *
Don't worry, this is not the last man on Earth.
* * *
He doesn't deserve your suffering, be strong.
* * *
You are beautiful, interesting and smart, so therefore you are not threatened by loneliness.
* * *
I will always support you, you deserve the best. Remember this, and do not humiliate yourself.

girls

* * *
Consider that in this way, forces from above filter people who you do not need. Head higher and forward, the light did not converge on it like a wedge.
* * *
You're a strong guy, you can cut her out of your life. I will always support you!
* * *
You're a good guy, it's her own fault that she didn't value you.
* * *
Everything will be fine, the girls themselves will hang around your neck, you're a macho!

In verse

* * *
How people's lives filter. Noticed?
But she is smarter and wiser,
Yesterday we slept in the same bed,
Not even among friends today.
* * *
Braga is stronger in someone else's glass.
The chest is larger in someone else's wife.
When half a step to the abyss,
we are no longer needed.
I understood one of the truths
that the pig will find dirt everywhere.
Not enough bullets to shoot at the rats
that escape from the ship.

Changed

* * *
Don't blame yourself for what happened. It is human nature to make mistakes. Let this mistake teach you a great lesson: every sunset is the beginning of a new, bright dawn.
* * *
I don't blame you, and I don't support you. You didn't become a bad person after that, you just made a mistake. Do not try to fix the problem, try to fix your thoughts, and then, I am sure, the problem will be solved by itself.
* * *
You can't forget it. But you can stop blaming yourself, and then you will remember it less often.
* * *
There are reasons for everything, and I'm sure you had them too. Do not blame yourself. The one to whom you are really important will not reject you even after what happened, and will give you the opportunity to explain. The important thing is that you sincerely regret it, and have drawn the right conclusions. There are many examples in the world when, after betrayal, people really begin to appreciate each other and are more afraid of losing than those who remain faithful. The former faced the problem head-on, and can assess all the risks. I wish everything goes well!

Betrayal

Friend

* * *
A person who betrayed love can be justified, but a person who betrayed friendship cannot! Draw the right conclusions, and learn to live without this person.
* * *
Pull yourself together and understand that a real friend could not do this to you! Dry your tears and start singing!
* * *
They say that true friends cannot be replaced, your friends easily replaced you. Conclusion - there were no "real". Everything is ahead, believe me!

* * *
I wonder what your former best friends are doing now, probably saying nasty things about you to those they used to say nasty things about. You don't need such people. You are the best and hang out with the best!

Colleagues

* * *
Life provides us with experience in the form of communication with different people. Smoky and not so good or bad. Learn from this lesson and move on. Now you are one situation more experienced! And that's a plus!
* * *
Let this be only a good lesson for you, not suffering. Draw conclusions about this person and communicate with him only at work.
* * *
The main thing is to remain a person in this situation, do not act out of spite.
* * *
Don't sink to someone else's level, and don't let other people drag you down.

Relatives

* * *
You will now calm down, because you have already been given the full measure of our sincere sympathy. And now there is no time to cry, the matter is waiting.
* * *
I understand that it is hard to realize his betrayal, but now you see who surrounds you. And you can change that by talking only with the worthy.

Dismissal

In your own words

* * *
Each finish is the start for something completely new.
Everything will be as it should be. Even if it's different.
* * *
I understand how difficult it is for you right now. But you hold on, you're strong (s), you will succeed.
* * *
If you want to discuss something, you can always count on me.
* * *
Everything will definitely be fine. Everything will end well, and if it's not good yet, then this is not the end.
* * *
You are a good worker, you still have everything ahead of you!
* * *
Everything will work out, you will find the job of your dreams, most importantly, take care of your health.
* * *
I can't go through this for you. But I can live it with you. And together we can do everything.
* * *
Chaos and trouble precede great change - remember that.
* * *
Most likely, the problem will not disappear in 24 hours. But in 24 hours your attitude to this problem can change. Let's change this together. You can always count on my help.

In verse

* * *
“She has no chance,” circumstances declared loudly.
"She's a loser," people shouted.
“She will succeed,” God said quietly.
* * *
You will win - I know for sure.
You will get through - I believe in it.
And not bent and not broken
You hits and losses.
Let it be smooth only on paper -
Although there are many trials
You will overcome step by step
All of them! Through thick and thin!

Accident

In your own words

* * *
Honey, you will get better and soon we will run to discos :)
* * *
Everything will be fine, no one is to blame for what happened!
* * *
The guardian angel protects you, because he gave you a chance to live.
* * *
Nothing terrible happened, everyone is alive, and this is the most important thing.
* * *
I'll come to you for tea, bring cookies and heal you :)

In verse

People, cherish every day
Treasure every minute.
We only live once on earth
Rejoice, it's morning again!

God gave life and blessed us,
May we walk on the right path.
After all, it is not in vain that He instilled a soul in us,
To ask later, beyond that threshold.

Live, love, help each other
We must, it cannot be otherwise.
And for this - God's grace,
And spiritually you will become richer.

Years fly by unnoticed
Rejoice and enjoy life!
Do not skimp on kind words
Please everyone and smile more often!

Animal death

Briefly in your own words

* * *
I sympathize. It's like losing a loved one. I understand you. Everything will be fine, hold on.
* * *
Just believe that your dog is there - invisibly nearby.
* * *
I understand how you feel, time will pass and you will feel better.
* * *
You've been in worse situations. And nothing, you did it! And you'll be fine, I'm sure!
* * *
Everything will be fine! We will get through this together.
* * *
I can see how dear he was to you, but keep on living.

Find out and help a person who is ill. For him, this is the same as losing a loved one.

Depressed

In your own words

* * *
Believe in the word that there is something to live for. You're just closed to it right now. Time will pass, and life will take on colors. Trust me, faith will help this fact happen faster.
* * *
Remember, it won't always be like this. We'll laugh at this together.
* * *
Life is not suffering. It's just that you suffer it instead of living and enjoying it. Remember this as soon as sadness wants to take possession of you.
* * *
Most people are as happy as they allow themselves to be. Allow yourself to be happy.

In verse

Or maybe just get up on the other foot,
And instead of coffee, take and drink juice ...
And turn your usual steps
In the direction where there will be more use ...

And on this day, do everything wrong:
Put from the end to the beginning of the number,
And the most insignificant trifle
Fill with good and high meaning.

And do what no one expects
And laugh where you cried so much
And the feeling of hopelessness will pass
And the sun will rise where the rain dripped.

From the circle wound by fate
Take it and jump out at the station of the unknown...
You will be surprised - the world is completely different,
And life is more unexpected, and more interesting.

Motivating

In your own words

* * *
The fate of the person who sits in the seat does not move either. Go ahead, I believe in you!
* * *
You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can always raise the sails to reach your goal.
* * *
There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create it well anywhere ...
* * *
Remember that when you really want something, the whole Universe will help to make your desire come true.

In verse

Look into your eyes again.
Fly forward again.
Just back - you can not.
Everything that has passed does not count.

And it's easy to let go.
Believe: movement is life.
The past is far away
Just don't turn around!

Beloved girlfriend/wife

In your own words

* * *
My love, everything will be fine, you are strong! I'm always there, remember that!
* * *
Honey, you can always rely on me!
* * *
Remember: we ourselves invent problems, barriers, complexes and frameworks for ourselves. Free yourself - breathe life and understand that you can do everything. I love you and that's the main thing.
* * *
You are the best woman for me in the whole world, remember that. Smile and never sour.

* * *
Darling, there will always be people who will hurt you. You have to keep trusting people, just be a little more careful.
* * *
The secret of happiness, my dear, is to enjoy every little thing and not get upset over every stupid thing.
* * *
You are the best man on the Earth. And the best will be fine. You just need to be a little patient. Remember - sugar at the bottom. As long as you have me, we can handle it.

In verse

* * *
If only, baby, I could
When it's so hard for you
Substitute two wings on the fly
Under your weary wing.
If I could make it
Disperse the clouds above you
So that you forget all the worries of the day
And peace returned to again.
It's a pity, but I'm just a woman - not God,
My heart is with you, and you hold on.
So that you can withstand the storm,
I pray quietly for your life.
* * *
Who hung their nose so low?
Who is sad for no apparent reason?
So I want you to be happy again
Do not invent stupid things!
Let your mood jump
Look at the colors in life again!
Happiness lies ahead
Well - give me a smile quickly!
* * *



There is no point in any line.

And a glass - for success ahead.

Girlfriend / friend

In your own words

* * *
This world is yours, just be yourself always!
* * *
Remember that you will always be the winner in any situation.
* * *
Any problem must be met with a smile. The problem will think that you are stupid and run away :)
* * *
Tomorrow, the one who reads this SMS will find his happiness :)
* * *
Until tomorrow comes, you will not understand how good you were today. Therefore, believe in the best, and do not give up. You are the best friend in the world!
* * *
You, the best and most faithful friend, I am very glad that I have you.

In verse

* * *
When a tear drips from pain ...
When the heart beats with fear...
When the soul hides from the light...
When all life is torn from grief ...
You sit quietly in silence ...
Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired ...
Tell yourself alone...
I will be happy! Through thick and thin!
* * *
Each of us has a breaking point
When the heart gets heavy
When we feel like we're falling off a cliff
And life becomes like a black spot ...
Each of us has a ray of hope
And someone very close and dear
Will not let you fall into the abyss
And he will say: "Don't be afraid, I'm with you!"
* * *
Smile! There is no place for sadness
In such a beautiful and young soul.
After all, we are sad, to be honest,
There is no point in any line.
Every day is filled with new happiness
And a glass - for success ahead.
You are capable of many things in life
Just believe, don't give up and wait!

Military

In your own words

* * *
You are doing a great job - protecting your homeland! You are strong, may the guardian angel always be there!
* * *
I'm proud of you, you are my protector! I am warmed by the thought that we will soon meet and be together.
* * *
Honey, you're strong, you can handle it! Remember that my thoughts are always with you! We'll meet soon, remember that.
* * *
For me, the military is an example of courage and strength. Therefore, you have no right to give up, life has rewarded you with a worthy position, which is already in your blood. I believe in you! You are the best!

In verse

* * *
Forget everything, don't fall low
Be brave, be happy, dream
Don't take everything too close
And don't take it at all.
Words are just someone's opinion
They mean nothing.
Be strong in battle and change your mind
At the call of your heart.
* * *
Problems were, are and will be,
You don't have to suffer because of them.
Around there are films, books, people -
Find something to keep yourself busy.
Learn to learn from mistakes
(Of course, better on strangers).
And do not be ashamed of stuffed cones,
Life is like that, where would we be without them
Be a positive person
Love people, love yourself
Fill your life with cheerful laughter
Take a deep breath and ... live!
* * *
Our whole life is just a moment,
Dependent on us.
And from diapers to wrinkles
There is a bridge as long as "now".
And we will remember yesterday,
We want to wait tomorrow...
But heaven has its own game ...
Seven rules and reasons.
Live without breaking them
To save the soul.
When the war ends
You will be appreciated...
No need to look for logic
After all, you can not have time
Kiss relatives,
And sing the song of the heart...

Video to the material

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To begin with, understand and accept one thing: even though you have known each other for a long time and you know the person as flaky, now this does not mean at all that his behavior will meet your expectations. “There are certain general stages of grief. You can fully focus on them, remembering, of course, that each of us still needs an individual approach, ”explains psychologist Marianna Volkova.

Our experts:

Anna Shishkovskaya
Psychologist at the Nina Rubshtein Gestalt Center

Marianna Volkova
Practicing psychologist, specialist in family and individual psychology

How to support a person if he is in shock

Stage #1: usually a person is in complete shock, confusion and simply cannot believe in the reality of what is happening.

What should I say. If you are really close friends, it is best for you to be there without relying on the phone, Skype or SMS. For some people, tactile contact is very important, the ability to see the interlocutor in front of you live. “At this time, conversations and attempts to express condolences are not needed,” Marianna Volkova is sure. - None. Therefore, if your friend asks you to be around and at the same time refuses to communicate, do not try to talk to him. Contrary to your expectations, it will not get easier for him. It is worth talking about what happened only when the loved one is ready for this. In the meantime, you can hug, sit next to me, hold your hand, stroke your head, bring tea with lemon. All conversations are strictly on business or on abstract topics.

What to do. The loss of a loved one, sudden terrible illnesses and other blows of fate require not only reflection, but also many worries. Don't think that giving this kind of help is easy. It requires a lot of emotional return and is very exhausting. How to support a person in such a situation? First, ask how you can be of help. A lot depends on what state your friend is in. You may have to take on organizational issues: call, find out, negotiate. Or give the unfortunate a sedative. Or wait with him in the doctor's waiting room. But, as a rule, it is enough to at least deal with everyday issues: put things in order, wash the dishes, cook food.

How to support a person if he is acutely worried

Stage #2: accompanied by acute feelings, resentment, misunderstanding and even aggression.

What to do. It is clear that it is difficult to communicate at this moment. But right now, a friend needs attention and support. Try to come more often, be in touch if he is left alone. You can invite him to visit for a while. It is important to clearly understand whether you are mentally ready for this.

Words of condolence

“Most people, when expressing condolences, use conventional phrases that do not carry any meaning. Actually, this is a courtesy and nothing more. But when it comes to a loved one, you need something more than a formality. There is, of course, no one-size-fits-all template. But there are things that definitely shouldn’t be said,” says Marianna Volkova.

1. If you don't know what to say, shut up. Better hug once again, show that you are there and ready to help at any moment.
2. Avoid expressions like “everything will be fine”, “everything will pass” and “life goes on”. You seem to promise good things, but only in the future, not now. Such conversations are annoying.
3. Try not to ask unnecessary questions. The only appropriate in this situation: "How can I help?" Everything else will have to wait.
4. Never say words that might devalue what happened. “And someone can’t walk at all!” - this is not a consolation, but a mockery for a person who has lost, say, an arm.
5. If your goal is to give moral support to a friend, first of all you yourself must be stoic. Sobbing, lamenting and talking about the injustice of life is unlikely to calm.

How to support a person if he is depressed

Stage #3: at this time, a realization of what happened comes to a person. Expect depression and depression from a friend. But there is good news: he begins to understand that he needs to somehow move on.

What should I say. We are all different, so the best thing you can do is ask what exactly a loved one expects from you.

1. Some people need to talk about what happened.“There are people who, in a difficult situation, it is vital to speak out loud their emotions, fears and experiences. A friend does not need condolences, your task is to listen. You can cry or laugh with him, but it’s not worth giving advice and putting in your five cents in every possible way, ”advises Marianna Volkova.
2. Some people need a distraction to get over grief. You are required to talk on extraneous topics, to involve a person in solving some issues. Invent urgent matters that require full concentration of attention and constant employment. Do everything so that your friend has no time to think about what he is trying to escape from.
3. There are people who, in difficult life situations, prefer loneliness - it is easier for them to cope with their emotions. If a friend tells you that they don't want any contact yet, the worst thing you can do is try to get into his soul with the best of intentions. Simply put, forcibly "do good." Leave the person alone, but be sure to make it clear that you are there and ready to provide all possible assistance at any time.

What to do.

1. In the first case, help of a domestic nature is often required, especially if your loved one is not one of those who easily negotiates, communicates and can easily choose the best of several proposed options.
2. You have to help your friend step back a little from what happened. If you are connected by work issues, you can carry out distracting maneuvers in this direction. A good option is sports. The main thing is not to torture yourself and his grueling workouts, but choose what you like. You can go to the pool, to the court or to yoga together. The goal is to try to have fun.
3. In the third case, you only need what you are asked for. Don't insist on anything. Invite “to go out and unwind” (what if he agrees?), but always leave the choice to the person and do not be intrusive.

How to support a person when he has already experienced grief

Stage #4: This is a period of adaptation. You could say rehab.

What should I say. It was at this time that a person re-establishes contacts, communication with others gradually takes on its usual form. Now a friend may need parties, travel, and other trappings of a mourning-free life.

What to do. “If your friend is quite ready to communicate, you don’t need to try to somehow “correctly” behave in his company. Do not try to forcefully cheer, shake and bring to life. At the same time, you can not avoid direct looks, sit with a sour face. The more habitually you adjust the atmosphere, the easier it will be for a person,” Marianna Volkova is sure.

Visit to a psychologist

Whatever stage a person is in, friends sometimes try to provide help they don't need. For example, forcibly send to a psychologist. Here you have to be especially careful, because sometimes it is necessary, and sometimes it is completely unnecessary.

“Experiencing trouble, sadness is a natural process that, as a rule, does not need professional help,” says psychologist Anna Shishkovskaya. – There is even a term “work of grief”, the healing effect of which is possible provided that a person allows himself to go through all the stages. However, this is precisely what becomes a problem for many: to allow yourself to feel, to meet experiences. If we try to “run away” from strong, unpleasant emotions, to ignore them, the “work of grief” is disrupted, “getting stuck” at any of the stages can occur. That’s when the help of a psychologist is really needed.”

Support cons

The tragedy experienced sometimes gives people a reason to manipulate others. This, of course, is not about the first, most difficult period. But you may be required to be present for long periods of time. Your personal life, work, desires will not be taken into account. Let's say you invited a friend to stay with you for a while - a fairly common practice. But all the agreed terms have long passed, and the person continues to visit. You are silent, because it is impolite to talk about inconveniences, but spoiled relationships will be a natural result.

Equally important is the financial issue. It happens that time passes, everything that was needed is done, but the need for investment does not disappear. And you, by inertia, continue to give money, afraid to refuse. " I noticed that you are starting to sacrifice yourself and your interests, which means there is a reason to talk and clarify the situation,” recalls Anna Shishkovskaya. - Otherwise, the accumulated resentment and indignation will one day provoke a serious conflict with mutual claims. It would be nice not to lead to a scandal, but to mark the boundaries in time.

Personal dramas are just one of those troubles in which friends are known. And your behavior during this period will certainly affect your relationship in one way or another. Therefore, it is worth rushing to help only if you sincerely want it.

Nowadays, every person experiences a lot of different emotions during the day, among which you can find both positive and not so. Tantrums, nervous breakdowns, severe emotional state - all this negatively affects the health of our psyche and worsens the quality of life.

If you see that a close or other friend who cares about you is in such a difficult state, it is important to know how to calm the person with words and your actions. If we help others, then they may be of invaluable help to us.

Types of emotional states

There are two main types of states in which a person can be in the event of a problem - this is an emotional stupor and hysteria. In this case, you should act completely differently.

• Hysteria in case of a nervous breakdown. In such a situation, a person should be somehow supported, despite his cries and curses, try to calm down and wait out this state for 10-15 minutes. Hysteria most often ends and turns into an emotional stupor.
• Emotional stupor. In this case, the situation also cannot be allowed to take its course - a loved one or anyone else must be taken out of this state. You can shake them by the shoulders, take them outside for a breath of fresh air, and so on.

In both cases, you should talk to a person gently, do not raise your tone and gently touch on any topic that is painful for him. When the person finally comes to his senses, try to ask him about what happened, if possible, offer your help. Remember, it is not enough just to reassure a person with words, it is important that he feels the support as much as possible and can rely on you.

How to quickly calm a loved one with words

If your soulmate or close relative is in a depressed emotional state, his nerves are on edge, there is a tantrum, you can try the following actions:

• Approach the person and give them a sincere hug.
• Calm down with words, say that everything will work out with time and will be fine.
• If outsiders rarely state the problem in detail, then you should try to talk to your loved one - he must emotionally relive the episode that contributed to the appearance of such a state.
• During this, negative emotions can again make themselves felt, so patiently listen to the other, do not raise your voice, but simply sympathize with him.
• Offer help - loved ones need it even more than other people. They want to feel that they are not alone in this world, they have someone to support them.
• Offer your options for solving the problem, since it is much clearer from the outside how to act in this or that case.
• After the loved one has finally calmed down, distract him from unpleasant thoughts. It is not easy to do this, but if desired, it is quite possible. You will go out to the river, into the forest, go somewhere - to the theater, cinema, entertainment complex, paintball and so on.

All these activities will help to calm the nervous person who is eating any problem.

What can not be done in such moments?

Never read to a person in such a state of morality!

• You can not read "morals" to a person. This causes a feeling of guilt, the loved one closes in on himself even more, his condition worsens, which can lead to prolonged depression with serious consequences.
• Never compare his problem to yours. He may think that you consider his trouble insignificant or, on the contrary, too serious. Try to get into his position and just analyze the situation.
• Emotions are transmitted, so try not to enter into his state when you calm another person with words. This is fraught with aggravation of the situation.

Use these tips to calm a loved one or another person, after which he can gather strength and begin to act constructively to solve his problem.

Are you good at making friends? Being a good friend means helping your friends when something goes wrong. You can communicate fluently in English only when you learn to find the right word at the right time. Today we will learn English expressions with which you can cheer up an English-speaking friend who is in a difficult situation or who is depressed for any reason.

“If a friend suddenly found himself” ... in an unpleasant situation, feels depressed (to feel down), is experiencing any problems: he lost his job, is on the verge of a breakdown (breakdown) or is simply too emotionally experiencing an event ... Like him console (to console), how to help deal with the problem?

We help to speak out

So what do you do in such an unfortunate situation? Often, when a person is going through difficult times, he just you have to let him talk - perhaps that will be enough. What to do? To ask questions. To a friend who has lost his job, you could ask the following questions:

Being forced to answer a question, a friend will talk, express what is sore, ease his soul and, perhaps, at least forget a little about the problem. Give him support (be supportive) - after all, as the famous English proverb says: "A friend in need is a friend indeed." ("Friend is known in trouble").

As a good friend, you would be happy to give advice to a friend, but keep in mind that advice must be given carefully, trying not to offend the person. Put yourself in the place of your unfortunate friend and formulate advice in this way: "If I were you ..." ("In your place ..."), for example:

Avoid faux pas

But sometimes direct advice can be taken with hostility and you need to slightly soften its meaning:

The main reason why it is better to give advice in a veiled form is so that your interlocutor does not feel that you are talking condescendingly (condescending), haughtily (in a patronizing manner) or without due sympathy to him.

Condescending - imagine the situation: you have lost your job and some well-wisher suggests that you look for a job on the Internet, as if you yourself had not guessed it before.

Patronising is when they tell you:

Sharing experience

What else can we do to help a distressed person? If you know your friend's problem, share your experience, tell about your feelings at that moment, about how it all happened and how you got out of a difficult situation with honor. In our example with a friend who lost his job, these could be the following phrases:

We substitute the shoulder

Give support, offer help - become a “shoulder to cry on” (literally: “a shoulder to cry on”):

Encourage a friend (to reassure), give him hope for the future, but not with the formal “Don't worry, everything will be OK.” (“Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”) It’s better to say: “Something will come up.” (“Something new will appear”): the phrasal verb to come up means “appear, arise.”

Trying to cheer

You can also try to cheer up a friend with a joke - this is accepted in British culture (the main thing is that the joke is understood correctly). After all, when the mood is not very good and someone successfully jokes, everyone becomes more fun!

How about this option:

In fact, we got a slightly dubious joke - but it depends on your friend's sense of humor, be guided by him so that the joke does not backfire.

And finally - another method of comforting the unfortunate called "lullaby for the night" (learn from Dr. Sheldon Cooper):

We hope the phrases given here will help you cheer up a sad friend, express your sympathy and empathy to him. How do you act, what do you say in such a situation? We are waiting for comments!

People usually get lost when their loved ones experience grief.
It is difficult to understand how to support a beloved man, girlfriend or sister in this situation.

To understand this problem, you do not need to be a brilliant psychologist.

Keep in touch

When we learn about the tragedy of a loved one, it is not always possible to find the strength to call. At such times it often seems that we have nothing to say. The situation is aggravated by the fact that a person may not make contact. He pretends like everything is fine.
Remember that men often hide their emotions. Many women also tend to keep silent about problems because they are afraid that they will be found guilty.

If a tragedy happened to a friend, communication must be maintained at least once every few days. This is especially important in situations where girls suffer from domestic violence or toxic relationships. In our society, it is customary to “not wash dirty linen in public,” so appreciate the trust placed in you if she was able to talk about the problem.

Moral support is great, but often it is not enough. Many people lose the ability to think adequately in a stressful situation, so they do not ask for help. Observe the behavior of your friend, think about how you can make his life easier.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend recently lost a relative, they will definitely need to organize a funeral.

If they become seriously ill, find out about all possible treatments. Take on those obligations that they may not be able to do now.

Do your best to distract the victim. Persuade a friend to go for a walk in the park, buy theater or concert tickets. Choose an entertainment program that can fully capture his attention. Remember about appropriateness: you should not show a girlfriend who has just broken up with a guy a romantic comedy. Otherwise, tears cannot be avoided, although sometimes they are needed.

Music can solve most, if not all, human problems - a scene from the movie "For Once in a Lifetime"

arrow_left Music can solve most, if not all, human problems - a scene from the movie "For Once in a Lifetime"

There is such an amazing quality as empathy. It is not present in all men and women, but you can develop this "super-ability" in yourself. In simple terms, empathy means the ability to put yourself in the place of another, to feel his emotional state. Tell him what you would like to hear in a similar situation.

Make sure that the person is ready to listen to your recommendations, and only then express an opinion. Consider your words, don't let them be too harsh. At the same time, the thought must be formulated clearly and unambiguously, otherwise you will only confuse the interlocutor.

Even if the problems of a girlfriend or a beloved man seem trifles to you, you do not need to report it. Everyone is different, and devaluing other people's feelings has nothing to do with support.

It is very important that you have a trusting relationship with this person.

If you have not encountered similar problems, try to avoid formulaic phrases. Deep down, we all understand that life is changing, the pain passes, and one day it will get better. But such remarks irritate people who have recently experienced grief. They do not need this relief in the future, they want to get rid of the pain now. In addition, people often blame themselves for what happened. In such cases, they may subconsciously seek punishment, refuse to be happy in the future.

Never mention the "bigger problems" that other people are facing right now. Under stress, men do not want to hear about the starving children of Africa and the terminally ill, they need attention to their own person. We all experience grief differently, sometimes it takes longer.

Do not forget that we subconsciously reflect the emotions of the interlocutors, like a mirror. You will have to stay strong to support your loved one. Even if you want to cry and complain about life, do it in his absence. Phrases and sighs filled with hopelessness will only prolong the process of healing spiritual wounds. And if you believe in the best, no matter what, one day it will be passed on to your friend or girlfriend.

Sometimes a simple walk by the lake can support better than any words.

arrow_left Sometimes a simple walk by the lake can support better than any words.

Sometimes you just need to be there. Distract the attention of a dear man or woman with a pleasant conversation, come up with some kind of surprise for them. Watch together a new episode of your favorite series, go to some memorable place. The person should feel supported, even if you don't discuss the problem.

At the same time, you can't be too intrusive. When people are in trouble, they often want to be alone with themselves. Respect someone else's personal space, be able to let go at the right time. You do not need to take control of a friend's life into your own hands, otherwise it may end badly.

Remember that at a certain stage of grief, men (and often women) can become more aggressive than usual. They will get angry over trifles, take out their anger on innocent people. Try to be understanding and forgive, but do not allow yourself to be humiliated. Gently remind them that you are not the cause of their suffering.

Man, woman and dog - a win-win combination for dealing with stress, isn't it?

arrow_left Man, woman and dog - a win-win combination for dealing with stress, isn't it?

It is necessary to provide support constantly, even if the person already feels much better. You should not sacrifice your resources for this, but sincere conversations and encouragement have never harmed anyone. In addition, you yourself will feel better by helping others. Do not disregard the successes of friends and relatives, encourage their achievements.

Of course, learning to follow all the recommendations at once will not work. Remember that we are all different. Perhaps it is for your man that there is a special method of comfort. Do as your intuition tells you, show kindness and understanding towards your loved ones. In this case, support will not go unnoticed.