Ivan Maslyukov

Director, entrepreneur. Creator of the international network of urban games Encounter.

1. A smart person talks with a purpose

At a meeting, by phone, in a chat. Conversation is a tool to achieve a goal.

Stupid people talk for the sake of talking. So they indulge their laziness when they are busy. Or they struggle with boredom and idleness in their free time.

2. Feels comfortable being alone

A smart man is not bored with his thoughts. He understands that important events and discoveries can occur within a person.

Stupid people, on the contrary, do their best to avoid loneliness: remaining alone with themselves, they are forced to observe their own emptiness. Therefore, it seems to them that something important and meaningful can only happen around them. They follow the news, tend to companies and hangouts, check social networks a hundred times a day.

3. Trying to keep balance

• Between external experience (movies, books, stories of friends) and own experience.
• Between believing in himself and knowing that he could be wrong.
• Between ready knowledge (templates) and new knowledge (thinking).
• Between an intuitive hint from the subconscious and an accurate logical analysis of limited data.

Stupid people easily fall into one extreme.

4. Strives to expand the range of his perception

A smart person wants to achieve accuracy in sensations, feelings, thoughts. He understands that the whole consists of the smallest details, therefore he is so attentive to trifles, shades, to the small.

Stupid people are content with average stamps.

5. Knows many "languages"

A smart person communicates with architects through buildings, with writers through books, with designers through interfaces, with artists through paintings, with composers through music, with a janitor through a clean yard. He knows how to communicate with people through what they do.

Foolish people understand only the language of words.

6. A smart person finishes what they start.

The foolish one stops as soon as he starts, or in the middle, or almost finishes, on the assumption that what he has done may turn out to be unclaimed and will not bring any benefit to anyone.

7. Understands that a huge part of the world around was invented and created by people

After all, a shoe, concrete, a bottle, a sheet of paper, a light bulb, a window once did not exist. Taking advantage of what was invented and created, he wants to give something of himself to humanity in gratitude. He happily creates himself. And when he uses what others have done, he gladly gives money for it.

Stupid people, when they pay for a thing, a service, an object of art, do it without gratitude and with regret that there is less money.

8. Follows an information diet

A smart person has a memory of facts and data that are not needed to solve current problems. At the same time, studying the world, he seeks, first of all, to understand the causal relationships between events, phenomena, things.

Stupid people consume information indiscriminately and without trying to understand the relationships.

9. Understands that nothing can be appreciated without context.

Therefore, he is in no hurry with conclusions and assessments of any things, events, phenomena, until he analyzes the totality of all circumstances and details. Smart very rarely criticizes, condemns.

A stupid person easily evaluates things, events, phenomena, without delving into the details and circumstances. He takes pleasure in criticizing and condemning, thus, as it were, feeling superior to that which is the object of his criticism.

10. Considers the authority of the one who has earned his authority

The smart one never forgets that even if everyone is of the same opinion, they can be wrong.

Fools recognize an opinion as correct if it is supported by the majority. It is enough for them that many other people consider a certain person to be an authority.

11. Very selective about books and films.

A smart person does not care at all when and by whom the book was written or when the film was made. Priority is content and meaning.

A stupid person prefers trendy books and movies.

12. Has a passion for self-development and growth

In order to grow, a smart person says to himself: "I'm not good enough, I can become better."

Stupid, seeking to exalt themselves in the eyes of others, humiliate others and, thus, humiliate themselves.

13. Not afraid to make mistakes

A smart person perceives it as a natural component of moving forward. At the same time, he tries not to repeat them.

Fools have learned once and for all the shame of making mistakes.

14. Knows how to concentrate

For maximum concentration, an intelligent person can withdraw into himself, be inaccessible to anyone and nothing.

Stupid people are always open to communication.

15. A smart person convinces himself that everything in this life depends only on him.

Although he understands that this is not so. Therefore, he believes in himself, and not in the word "luck."

Stupid people convince themselves that everything in this life depends on circumstances and other people. This allows them to relieve themselves of all responsibility for what is happening in their lives.

16. It can be hard as steel or soft as clay

At the same time, an intelligent person proceeds from his ideas about how he should be under different circumstances.

A fool is hard as steel, or soft as clay, based on the desire to meet the expectations of others.

17. Easily admits his mistakes

His goal is to understand the real state of things, and not to be always right. He understands only too well how difficult it is to make sense of the diversity of life. Therefore, he does not lie.

Fools deceive themselves and others.

18. Acts mostly like a smart person

Sometimes smart people allow themselves to relax and behave like stupid people.

Stupid people sometimes concentrate, show willpower, make an effort and behave like smart people.

Of course, no one can act smart always and everywhere. But the more you are from a smart person, the more you are. The more stupid, the more stupid.

Lower your standards. This is difficult, but extremely important. Part of your constant frustration with the stupidity of the world is due to the fact that you expect others to have the same high intellectual development as you, your close friends and the people you respect most. As they say, if a person lives, then it is necessary - and this applies to stupid people too! Remind yourself that an "ordinary" person will not live up to your high standards of how people should think and act, so lower your expectations accordingly.

• If you don't expect a person to be smart and polite, you'll have pleasant surprises when people turn out to be smart, instead of constantly being disappointed in their expectations.

Realize that they may not have had the favorable conditions or advantages that you have. One of the reasons you're oh-oh-oh-so-smart might be because you came from a loving family, got/are getting a good education, you didn't have to look after family members, work nights during high school , and take responsibility that would prevent you from becoming Mr. I Know Everything. The next time a clueless person starts to annoy you, ask yourself if he had all the opportunities that you had - there is a high probability that the answer will be no.

• Remind yourself to accept each person as they are - this will reduce the degree of your irritation and disappointment, because you will stop constantly asking yourself why the person does not act the way you do.

Accept the fact that you can't change their mindset. This is another important point that you need to understand before dealing with stupid people. You may decide that causation and rational facts always win, and that after you hit a double dose of logic, a stupid person will walk away from you thinking “Wow, I never thought about it from that point of view...“. Well, that's unlikely; if a person is stupid, he/she will stick to his/her opinion.

• Realizing the fact that even with very fair arguments, you will not be able to convince a stupid person to accept your point of view, you just calm down and stop trying. And when you stop trying to convince the fools around you to agree with you, there will be less irritation and disappointment in your life.
• Remember: your goal is not to get stupid people to agree with you, but to learn how to deal with them in a way that will keep you calm and sane in dealing with him or her.

Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees. As Albert Einstein once said, “Everyone is a genius in their own way. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, you will live your whole life believing that it is stupid.” This means that you need to look at the situation in the following way: although a stupid person does not understand 2-3 areas in which you are an expert, by and large he is not stupid. A girl in math class who can't add can be an amazing poet; the person who can't make you a latte properly is probably a killer musician. Stop thinking that there is only one criterion for intelligence or stupidity - you will see that people are capable of more than you think.

• Think about this: if people can only be smart or stupid in one way, then there are those who think YOU are not very smart either. And it could be true, right?

Try to see the situation from a different perspective. Another way to change your attitude towards stupid people is to think about the situation from a different perspective. Of course, you think that there is only one correct view of the political situation in the country, or that you cannot be wrong by becoming a vegetarian. However, before you establish your position, you should definitely get a reasonable understanding of the arguments from the opposite side and try to see that the situation has another story.

• In addition, in order to better understand a person, it is useful to know where he comes from and where he was brought up - if a person grew up on the outskirts of Novosibirsk, and you spent your childhood within the Moscow Ring Road, then yes, you simply cannot understand all the problems that a person faced .

Arm yourself with knowledge. Knowledge is power. Especially when you're trying to handle a person who doesn't have them at all. If you want to deal with fools to the best of your ability, then you must have concrete facts. Read as much as you can, listen to informative useful podcasts, watch and read the news - make sure you have a solid and correct understanding of the issue before jumping into an argument. The more facts, statistics and theses you have, the easier it will be for you to silence a fool.

• While your goal doesn't have to be to convince a stupid person that you are right (what's the difference, after all?), the more he sees that you have studied the issue well, the less he will be willing to argue with you.

“A friend brought me to a group of moviegoers. They were throwing quotes from the movies, and I felt embarrassed and smiled stupidly, because I did not remember a single witty line. Many of us have been in this situation. But Marina, the heroine of this story, concludes from an ordinary case: "I am uneducated and stupid."

“People who consider themselves stupid are absolutely sincere,” says Elena Sokolova, a psychotherapist. - Their feelings are caused by a sense of inconsistency between who they imagine themselves to be (the owner of many talents) and they actually are (a person with different advantages and disadvantages). Therefore, it seems to them that they constantly do and say something wrong. In fact, they need to understand themselves.

Blurred identity

“People who tend to perceive themselves as incompetent need constant confirmation of their worth,” continues Elena Sokolova. - For this they “use” others, but only if they admire their intelligence and other “virtues”.

But when another person is superior to them in some way, it is so difficult for them to recognize this, that is, to see themselves realistically, that (if they cannot devalue the merits of others) they will prefer to attribute total stupidity to themselves. After all, there is no demand from such a person. ”

“I find it easier to work with numbers than with people”

Natalia, 36 years old, accountant:“Since childhood, it was difficult for me to communicate on an equal footing with my peers. I always felt that I fell short of their intellectual level. Although at school I loved the exact sciences, especially mathematics. When choosing a university, I knew that it would be easier for me to work with numbers than with people, so I went to the economics department of the university. Then I changed several companies. Finally, she got a job in her specialty. After a while the chief made me his right hand. I had to learn to lead, despite the fears of looking stupid. There were, of course, failures and misunderstandings, but over time, my old problem ceased to disturb me. Now I try to be minimally guided by the opinions of others and do not compare myself with everyone who is next to me - I just listen to myself.

Exaggerated value of intelligence

It seems like a paradox, but such people are poorly versed in the nuances of feelings and motives for the behavior of other people, it is difficult for them to experience trust and affection, perhaps that is why they unconsciously overestimate the importance of intelligence. “Often in childhood they felt emotional hunger, lack of warmth and love,” says Elena Sokolova. “Even as adults, they continue to behave with others like children, trying to earn the favor of their parents with the brilliance of their mind and the desire to live up to their ideals.”

In addition, since intelligence is in high demand in society, blaming his own stupidity is a person who is overly focused on social values ​​and has a strong desire to comply with them.

Excessive requirements

The feeling of one's own stupidity is also a consequence of excessive demands on oneself, coming from childhood. A child whom relatives consider the best (or, conversely, underestimate), gets used to building relationships with others, based on how he will look in their eyes. Therefore, any communication causes him anxiety and fear of losing self-confidence again. His inability to carry on a conversation is exacerbated by derogatory thoughts. And after the meeting, alone with himself, such a person severely reproaches and once again convinces himself of his stupidity.

What to do?

Try to understand your emotional state

Try to be more specific about how you feel when you say to yourself, "I'm stupid." Anger, sadness, fear? Specify: anger towards whom, for what? What gives you fear? It is important to understand what caused these feelings and what lies behind your confession of your own stupidity. Most likely, we are talking about deeper and stronger experiences, and you should work on them.

It is useless to console another with phrases like “No, you are not stupid at all!”. Only on his own can a person re-evaluate his personality. To help him with this, often draw his attention to his own successes. For example, congratulate him at the first opportunity - celebrate the conclusion of the contract, the appointment that he has been seeking for so long. This is the best way to help him raise his self-esteem.

Try to change the habitual strategy of behavior. Perhaps as a child you were a shy child and thus tried to justify your need for solitude. Or your parents pressured you so much that you put on the mask of a fool in defense. Such a role promised benefits, but, on the other hand, you were often depressed and lonely. As convenient as this role once was, there comes a time of maturity and choice, when it is worth considering whether it is time to leave it, because it does not give your personality the opportunity to develop.

I am a humanistic person, so I am sure that stupidity is a temporary state of mind, something like infantile immaturity. However, I can hardly be mistaken if I assume that due to my own stupidity, many people do not have as much fun as they would like. And even their loved ones - and even more so.

But let's see what exactly stupidity manifests itself in and how it can prevent not only those who deal with such a person, but also himself, from enjoying life.

1. A fool only talks about himself.

Any communication implies a dialogue, and a mature person usually understands that this is a way of exchanging information. Exchange, not planting. It happens, of course, that a person needs to speak out when something has happened - it happens to everyone. But if we are talking about a pathological solo, when the interlocutor does not have the opportunity to insert at least a word, let alone tell something, we are dealing with a fool.

And don't talk to me about the narcissistic personality. All that matters in this case is that the person has not understood that the ability to listen is an important resource in the process of gaining life experience. In addition, this quality is very valuable in friendly communication. And if only I listen - why not someone more interesting? There are a lot of sensible lecturers now.

2. There are a lot of people, he is loud

I’ll make a reservation right away, there are cases of special, loud charisma - but in such cases there are no questions like “Or maybe he’s just a fool?”. I'm not talking about them, but about those stupid people who often replace the lack of depth and meaning with intensity.

Imagine: a restaurant, subdued lights, people talking, someone working on a laptop, someone having a quiet romantic meeting. Here and there, the sound increases slightly: they laughed, they greeted those who came ... And suddenly, among this cozy noise, the annoying voice of a lady who tells the interlocutor the details of her personal life. And no one from those present can be left out.

The rules of etiquette, like the instruction manual for the kettle, are in many ways foolproof. Demonstrations of the fool in myself

We do not want to listen, especially since it is not interesting, stupid, flat ... But this is how our brain works: we are forced to pay attention to sharp sounds, because life can depend on it. And now the whole restaurant is devoted to the details of the divorce ...

Lonely lucky people with a laptop are lucky - they have headphones and, looking askance at the violator of the sound mode, are in a hurry to unravel the wiring. The couple quickly pays off and runs away: everything is just beginning for them, and other people's divorces are an extremely inappropriate topic. The lady orders more wine, it gets even louder. And those who sit on the street terrace have already heard about her stupidity ...

Involuntarily, the rules of etiquette come to mind. They, like the instruction manual for the kettle, are in many ways foolproof. Demonstrations of the fool in myself.

3. A fool ignores the needs of the interlocutor

Is he interested? Isn't he tired? Maybe he needs to move away, but he just can't find a suitable pause? In one breath, such a person fills the entire space. It is especially difficult for delicate people who are afraid to offend, to be inappropriate.

The lack of need for feedback speaks of infantile self-righteousness. Such interlocutors are like a child not yet endowed with empathy, who cannot understand that his mother is tired of dragging him on a sled for the eighteenth kilometer. So they, on the one hand, seem to make it clear: "If you don't like something, just say it." And on the other - yeah, try it, tell me. Payment on the account of your grievances - thank you, not today.

4. A stupid person is afraid of everything.

I will not go there - there it is. I won't go here - it's there. However, the constant search for a zone of safety and comfort hinders evolution. Any living mind of this evolution is hungry and finds ways to either deal with their own fears on their own or ask for help. It is foolish to allow fears to orchestrate life.

There is also the other side of the coin - when a person rushes into battle without weighing the risks and not comparing them with his own strengths. How many stupid things have been done on this courage! But this second type of "headless horsemen" is still closer to me than the waiting ones, who are afraid of everything.

By performing some action, a person gains experience, even if it is negative, some kind of wisdom. And what is the experience and wisdom of a person who remains within four walls and, out of boredom, experiments only with finding the best TV channel? ..

5. A fool does not doubt his attitudes.

In my opinion, this is the height of stupidity. Look at any field of science, how ideas have changed over time. Something was considered true, indisputable, and then one discovery turned the entire system of knowledge upside down and past beliefs turned into dense delusions in one day.

In addition, rigid thinking, when a person does not know how to be flexible and take into account new knowledge, is a direct path to Alzheimer's. That's what modern research says. But who knows, maybe they'll change their mind...

6. A stupid person divides things into black and white.

The categorical attitudes, especially multiplied by stubbornness, is another sign of stupidity. I missed the turn - you have topographical cretinism. And that's it, you will remain so for the rest of your life. Non-recognition of halftones, features of the context and situation - this is certainly not characteristic of smart people.

This text is an example of such a division. Dividing people into fools and smart is very stupid. After all, each person has his own story and his own experience, which led to the fact that at this stage of life a person speaks only about himself, does not check with his interlocutor, or is captured by fears.

Each of us can sometimes behave stupidly, so the best thing we can do is to pay attention to our inner life and give maximum goodwill to the world around us.

So, here are 15 signs of a stupid person:

1. Has a negative purpose, although he doesn't think so.

When a person does not answer, complains, is afraid, gets angry, grumbles, is indifferent, shows conservatism - these are signs of a stupid person moving towards a negative, destructive goal.

2. Does not like new knowledge, gives out false knowledge as true knowledge.

If a fool is offered new true knowledge, he will devalue them in various ways. For example: in response, you can hear: "We have known this for a long time ..." or "We have not yet matured before that ....", etc.

3. Lying, deceiving himself.

A fool does not admit mistakes, is not self-critical. A deceitful person often says: "There is an opinion ..." or "Everyone thinks ...", etc. thereby spreading their information.

4. Does not know how to listen, see, understand people.

Having asked a question and not listening to the answer, he can object to the answerer, start criticizing him.

5. Inability to find the true cause of the problem and the venting of negative emotions on the innocent.

Example: Stupid walked, stared, stumbled, got angry. There was a puppy nearby. Gave him a kick .... or
The husband came home late, in a bad mood and yelled at his wife for not warming up dinner...

6. Envious and cowardly.

Seeing that someone looks good, dresses tastefully or becomes more professional, etc. a fool will do his best to bring a person to nothing ...
Example: "Are you sick? You don't look well today..." or
"As a friend, I want to tell you that this suit doesn't suit you..."

7. Believes and spreads negative and compromising information.

He will not talk about the beautiful flower bed with thousands of flowers he saw on the square (positive), but he will talk about disasters, betrayal, betrayal, etc. ... (negative).

8. It distorts the information you transmit through it for the worse, that is, it will add negativity or lies from itself, and "filter out" all the positive.

9. Without knowing the person, he gives characteristics to people, vouches for strangers, lends money.

10. Does not respect property rights and human freedom.

A stupid person, having presented a toy to a child, will reprimand him for breaking, soiling the toy, not realizing that what was given is no longer his property ...

11. Started does not complete.

But every unfinished business is a defeat.

12. Stubbornly repeats his mistakes.

Traditional requests, persuasion, calls for conscience, coaxing, education, calls for morality do not work on a stupid person - this is a waste of time and nerves. At the same time, he does not feel shame and does not consider himself guilty ...

13. Mocks, mocks others.

Destroying yourself, family, others and plunging them into depression is stupid ....

14. The stupidity of the stupid is contagious.

Example: In a family with the appearance of a stupid person, the mood can change dramatically, one of the family members may have a desire to leave, retire, turn on the music loudly, just not to see, not hear, not perceive the thoughts of this person, there is uncertainty, hostility, discomfort. ...

15. Eyes do not radiate vitality, warmth, kindness ...

After a conversation with such a person, an unpleasant aftertaste remains, although he did not say anything bad to you.

So, if you yourself found this or that sign of stupid in yourself, this is proof that you are not stupid!!!
After all, a fool is not capable of introspection and self-criticism!!!

15 signs of a wise person - read the following article .....