Today I will tell you what methods will allow you make the right decision and learn to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology outlined in the famous book by Chip Heath and Dean Heath - “. This technique helps to make effective choices in business, career and education. Here I will outline the main points of this technique, and also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right solutions.

Method 1 - Avoid "narrow borders"

Often we fall into the trap of "narrow frames", when our thinking reduces the whole variety of possible solutions to a problem in only two options: yes or no, to be or not to be. “Should I divorce my husband or not?” “Should I buy this particular expensive car or take the subway?” Should I go to the party or stay at home?

When we choose only between "Yes or No", in fact, we are stuck in only one alternative (eg, breaking up with her husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.

If you choose not to buy an expensive car on credit, it doesn't mean that exhausting subway rides are your only remaining alternative. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But, perhaps, the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent an apartment closer to work. Or change jobs to less distant from home.

An alternative to choosing between different breeds of cats or dogs may be for you to go to a cattery and choose a homeless pet that you like best.

This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a yes or no dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this, because it is much easier to consider the problem only in black and white, and not in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.

Also, we often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be implemented simultaneously and in fact it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.

Method 2 - Expand the selection

This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us know situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, to buy an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment, and we are fascinated by their appearance, and the realtor offers "favorable" terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are already thinking not about “which apartment to choose”, but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy”.

Do not hurry. It is better to look at five apartments, instead of buying the first one that comes across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better suggestions. Secondly, the time you spend looking at the rest of the offers will “cool down” your instant emotions. And momentary emotions always interfere with the right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious flaws in the apartment you like, but as time passes, you will be able to see the whole picture more clearly.

We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this forms a strong inertia in decision-making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you wanted to enter a certain university from school. A few years later, you failed your entrance exams. And now you are thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You dismiss all the arguments of your friends in favor of choosing another university, as you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.

But what if in the few years it took you to finish school, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same as before? Suddenly new promising educational institutions appeared? Do not get attached to your choice and conduct a comparative analysis. Expand your selection! Familiarize yourself with the curriculum and teaching staff at other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?

To become less attached to one alternative, the auxiliary method of "disappearing options" will help you.

Variant Disappearance Method

Imagine that the alternative you have chosen cannot be chosen for some reason. For example, the university you want to enter, let's say, was closed. Now think about what you would do if this really happened. And start doing it. You would probably look at other possibilities, and probably in the process you'll discover how many great options you've missed out on because you've become fixated on one alternative.

Method 3 - Get as much information as possible

The authors, Chip, and Dean Heath are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronics, booking hotels, or choosing hairdressers. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to get a lot of valuable information.

Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information provided to you by HR and the future boss.

The Heath brothers suggest asking one question at the interview for this.

“Who worked in the position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?

There is nothing wrong with trying to get firsthand information. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that, despite the obvious advantages of this approach, it never occurred to me to use it during my job search!

You may not always be given the contacts of these people. In this case, it will help you get information practice of leading questions.

This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.

At the interview:

Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised brilliant prospects and good working conditions), ask more direct questions:

“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
Asking this question will help you get more reliable information about your future work.

In the shop:

One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked the question, "Tell me something about this iPod," only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What is his problem?” 90% of all managers honestly reported the shortcomings of this model.

Method 4 - Get rid of momentary emotions

As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They make you lose sight of something important and focus on small things that later turn out to be insignificant.

Many of us face the dire results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by our emotions and didn't see the full picture.

This may concern an early marriage or an impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.

The first way to get rid of emotions - 10/10/10

This method allows you to go beyond the narrow perspective that instantaneous impulses set. It consists in asking yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
• And after 10 months?
• What will happen in 10 years?

For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think of it in 10 minutes? Probably, the euphoria of falling in love and a new life will rage in you! Of course, you will not regret your decision.

But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (it always happens), and perhaps when the veil of euphoria that has covered your eyes disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of loss of something dear will begin to manifest. You may find that what you used to take for granted was actually a benefit of your previous relationship. And this is no longer in your new relationship.

It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the ardor of falling in love passes, you will realize that you have come to the same thing that you were running from.

Of course, I'm not saying that this will be the case for everyone. For many relationships, divorce is the best solution. But, nevertheless, I am sure that a lot of divorces happen impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it is better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the delusion of euphoria in anticipation of change.

The second way to get rid of emotions - Breathe

Before making any important choice, give yourself a little time out. Take 10 calm full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts of inhalation - 6 slow counts of exhalation. And so 10 cycles.

This will calm you well and cool the ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?

This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.

The third way to get rid of emotions - "Ideal me"

I came up with this method when I could not make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ""). Think about what your “ideal self” would do or what would be the ideal scenario for the development of events under the existing restrictions. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay at home with your wife and children. Many factors in the decision will compete with each other: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.

What to do? Think about what would be ideal. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally, you would like to split in two, so that one part of you stays at home and the other part is at the party, while alcohol would not bring her any harm and hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home, because last week you promised yourself to drink less. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party you will feel better the next day.

No need to think about what you want more. Because, Just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one. But tomorrow you may regret indulging your momentary desire. Consider which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?

The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?

Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, you are afraid of being disappointed, you don’t want to let your colleagues down, you are worried about what your boss will think of you in connection with your departure. Because of this, you can't make up your mind about it.

But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What would you advise him? Surely, if he shared with you fears at the expense of disappointments and the opinion of the boss, you would answer him: “Come on, you think about all sorts of nonsense! Do what's best for you."

Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends in solving some situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we only look at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up, to which we attach exaggerated importance. Therefore, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what advice you would give to your friend if he was in a similar situation.

The fifth way to get rid of emotions - just wait

Remember, a quick decision is very often a bad decision, because it can be made under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to just wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while, and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed to be an essential need a couple of hours ago, in fact, you do not need.

Personally, I like to let some decision “ripen” in my head, give it time, provided that I have nowhere to rush. It doesn't mean that I think about him all the time. I can do some business, and suddenly the decision will appear by itself. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but I am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.

In a few days, details may “surface” in my head that can change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was the right thought, only now, I will be sure of it.

The sixth way to get rid of emotions - stay focused

This method is suitable in situations where you need to make quick decisions while under psychological pressure, for example, at an interview.

As a poker lover, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to instant emotions. Poker is basically a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far away from the game between hands, I make unreasonable and emotional actions when it's my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching the opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.

So, for example, during an interview, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Do not let extraneous thoughts enter your head, such as: “what did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here and now. This will help you make the right choice.

Method 10 - When Not to Use All of These Methods

Looking at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices, in which each alternative is determined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no flaws? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?

Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.

For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are alone and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You have nothing to lose if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.

Such situations are an exception. The more you think about them and weigh the decisions, the more uncertainty and the chances of missing an opportunity grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!

Conclusion - A little about intuition

The methods I've been talking about are attempts to formalize decision making. Give clarity and clarity to this process. But I do not want to belittle the role of intuition.

These methods should not confuse you, instilling in you an illusory confidence that any decisions are amenable to reason and dry analysis. This is not true. Often the choice is characterized by a lack of complete information, and you will have to accept the fact that in many situations you cannot know with 100% certainty in advance which decision will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the right choice or not.

Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting until your methods give you an unambiguous prediction of the correctness of one or another alternative. But at the same time, one should not overestimate her role and rely too much on her “gut”. For this, there is a formalized approach, which is designed to balance your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. The right balance between these things is the art of decision making!

Federal Law No. 129-FZ of August 8, 2001 (as amended on December 27, 2018) "On State Registration of Legal Entities and Individual Entrepreneurs" (as amended and supplemented, effective from January 1, 2019)

Article 13.1. Notice of reorganization of a legal entity

1. A legal entity, within three working days after the date of the decision on its reorganization, is obliged to inform the registering body in writing about the beginning of the reorganization procedure, including the form of reorganization, with the decision on reorganization attached. In the case of participation in the reorganization of two or more legal entities, such a notification shall be sent by the legal entity that was the last to make a decision on the reorganization or a certain decision on the reorganization. On the basis of this notification, the registering authority, within a period of not more than three working days, makes an entry in the unified state register of legal entities that the legal entity (legal entities) is (are) in the process of reorganization.

2. After making an entry in the unified state register of legal entities about the beginning of the reorganization procedure, the reorganized legal entity shall place a notice of its reorganization in the media, in which data on the state registration of legal entities are published, twice with a frequency of once a month. In case of participation in the reorganization of two or more legal entities, the notice of reorganization is published on behalf of all legal entities participating in the reorganization by the legal entity that made the last decision on reorganization or was determined by the decision on reorganization. The notice of reorganization shall contain information about each legal entity participating in the reorganization, created (continuing activity) as a result of the reorganization, the form of reorganization, a description of the procedure and conditions for the submission of creditors' claims, other information provided for by federal laws. The legal entity under reorganization, within five working days after the date of sending the notification of the commencement of the reorganization procedure to the body carrying out state registration of legal entities, notifies in writing the creditors known to it of the commencement of the reorganization, unless otherwise provided by federal laws.

3. Making an entry (records) in the unified state register of legal entities that the legal entity (legal entities) is (are) in the process of reorganization, as well as other entries in connection with the reorganization of legal entities, is not allowed if a legal entity participates in the reorganization in respect of which a decision was made to liquidate it.

Many decisions in our lives have uncertain outcomes. What to buy: a bike or a gym membership? Once you buy a bike, you can ride whenever and wherever you want. By purchasing a subscription, you can exercise on simulators and swim in the pool. Everything seems to be clear, but why is it so difficult and sometimes even painful to make a decision?

The fact is that when we make a decision, for example, with two options, then on the one hand we gain something, on the other - we lose. Having bought a bicycle, we will not be able to go to the pool and to the simulators. And after purchasing a subscription, we lose the opportunity to ride a bike with friends in the evenings and get a lot of pleasure associated with it.

Therefore, even when we make the right, as it seems to us, decision, we experience pain. But in many cases the problem is contrived. For example, the flour of the morning choice - tea or coffee - is sucked from the finger. Both options are good. You can drink tea, forget about coffee and get maximum pleasure. For some, this is obvious, while the other will experience doubts and spend mental energy on a choice where it is not necessary to make it. So, why is it sometimes not important what decision to make? Because it does not affect the quality of life and is unlikely to negatively affect the future. If you drink tea this morning instead of coffee, it doesn't matter (let's leave the possible harm of coffee aside).

Therefore, the first thing to ask yourself is: is it really something important, or can you choose one option at random and not worry? Many successful business people who make dozens of decisions a day know this, so they try to relieve themselves of the burden of everyday worries. They wear the same clothes and eat the same breakfast in the morning. An ordinary person brings himself to stress already at the beginning of the day, because for him clothes and breakfast are of great importance. But actually it is not. Stop worrying about nonsense.

What really matters are the important decisions:

• Where to go to study?
• Which company do you want to work for?
• What product to start producing and what to refuse?
• Is it necessary to learn Chinese?
• What house to buy?
• What skills to develop?

The implications of these decisions are important. They allow you to lose or earn money, spoil or improve relationships with loved ones, lead to growth or degradation.

Find out which questions are important to you and which are not. And then read on.

Decision making process

1. Definition of a problem, challenge, or opportunity. Problem: which dentist to go to treat teeth. Opportunity: what will be more important in five years - knowledge of English or Chinese?
2. Create an array of possible options. You can find several dental clinics on the Internet, and then ask your friends.
3. Estimating the costs and benefits associated with each option. On the one hand, even treatment in an inexpensive clinic costs a pretty penny, on the other hand, you still need to be treated, because then you will be forced to pay ten times more.
4. Choice of solution.
5. Implementation of the chosen solution.
6. Evaluate the impact of the decision and change it if necessary.

You may not go through all six stages in every instance of your life, and not always in sequence. But even so, there should not be many difficulties in making decisions, because there is a step-by-step algorithm. Although life is usually not so simple. So what's the difficulty then?

Why is it so hard to make a decision sometimes?

Some of your decisions are so simple that you make them without thinking. But complex or ambiguous ones require more attention. They include:

• Uncertainty: many facts and variables may be unknown.
• Complexity: many interrelated factors.
• High Risk Consequences: the impact of the decision on your fate and the fate of other people can be significant.
• Alternatives: different alternatives may arise, each with its own set of advantages, uncertainties and consequences.
• Interpersonal problems: You need to predict how other people will react to your decision.

All this flashes through your head in a second, so you don’t even have time to understand why this viscous inner feeling appeared. One thing is clear: the more complex the decision, the more time you need to allocate for reflection.

How to learn to make decisions

Before moving on to solving specific problematic issues, it is necessary to develop a general mechanism for making informed decisions. It consists of three parts:

1. What you focus on. What you think about shapes you as a person and changes you. Many people focus every day on things they cannot control. You can make decisions based on what you have, what you can influence.
2. Make a decision not to focus on what doesn't work. Sounds weird, but that's what most people do. We are so accustomed to cast doubt on everything that we do not notice how instead of working solutions, we first of all sort out non-working ones.
3. Assess situations. Life is changing every day, you are changing, the people around you and situations in general. Some problems may not be problems at all.

But this is all theory. In real life, we think in specific categories and are often limited in our choice by many factors. Here are some practical requirements for the process of reflection that will allow you to consider any situation more carefully and soberly.

Make a decision quickly

Yes, in this case it may not be the best. However, even a bad decision is better than deliberation that drags on for days, months, or years. During this time, people psychologically put up with the fact that no decision will be made.

Successful, great people often make decisions quickly. They know that doubts and fears can ruin even the greatest undertakings. They change and adjust their plans as they go, learning along the way.

If you hate your job, why not make the decision right now to change it? Not to change, namely to make a decision. This means that you start looking for another job, improve your skills and prepare the ground. But you make the decision now, there is no need to delay.

Often we think along the following chain: information gathering - analysis - evaluation - information gathering - analysis - evaluation. And so on ad infinitum. Make a decision (you already know that you need to change the hated job) right now and only after that look for information that will help in the process of implementing your plan.

The more you wait, the more you will suffer. To be tormented by the fact that you perfectly understand the importance of making a decision, but do not accept it in any way.

Find a decision criterion

Should I take it? In many cases, everything is too obvious, in some - not. What are your criteria? For example:

• What is good for me.
• What is good for my loved ones.
• What will bring money.
• That will bring experience and knowledge.

Gather information after making a quick decision

Again: do not confuse and swap the first and third points. If you need to study, make a decision here and now, and only then start collecting information, looking for books, self-study books, enrolling in courses (all this can be done a minute later).

When the decision is made and the goal is set, collect all the necessary information, having previously put forward a condition for yourself: I will take the next important step in this direction after so much time. For example, you decided to study English in the morning, gave yourself four hours to find all the necessary information, and at six o'clock in the evening you decided to call several English schools and choose the best one for you in terms of class time, distance, etc.

Analyze past decisions

It is important to understand two things:

• Why have you made good decisions in the past?
• Why have you made bad decisions in the past?

What happened then? What principles did you follow? Perhaps when you make decisions quickly and intuitively, they turn out to be the best in your life. Then do the same in the future.

Create a spreadsheet

It's very simple, visual and effective: all your choices on one screen with their ratings, pluses and minuses. This allows you to dive into the details or look at the big picture - depending on the goal.

Tony Robbins Method

Potential flaws in decision making can be avoided when you have a system in place to help break down options and anticipate possible weaknesses. It's called OOC/EMR. This is the decision method from Tony Robbins. He applies four rules to the very process of its development.

Rule one: all important or difficult decisions should be made on paper.

Don't do it in your head. This is how you end up getting hung up on the same things without reaching any resolution. The revolving of thoughts creates pressure and leads to stress.

Think about the last time you took a very long time to make an important decision. Or rather, they did not want to accept it. Months and even years passed, but the matter did not move forward. If you took a pen and paper, the decision could be made in one hour.

Rule Two: Be absolutely clear about what you need, why you want it, and how you'll know you've achieved it.

You must clearly understand what you want, what is the goal. Even if it is absolutely clear what you want, you may forget the reasons why you want it. WHY is what will make you follow your decision. This is where it appears.

Get as specific as possible about what you want, why you need it, and how you'll know when you get what you need.

Rule Three: Decisions are based on probability.

Don't expect complete and absolute certainty. In most cases, you will never get it. So, you have to give it to yourself.

No one can clearly say what the consequences of the decision will be. Yes, you need to collect information and analyze it, but no one can give a 100% guarantee.

Rule Four: Decision making is refinement.

In most cases, there may be multiple results. Find out what solution will bring the most benefit in all areas of your life. Sometimes benefits appear where you could not even think.

So we got to the decision-making process. Robbins calls it the fancy acronym OOS/EMR. It consists of the following steps:

1. Results.
2. Choice options.
3. Effects.
4. Evaluation of options.
5. Damage reduction.
6. Decision.

Let's consider each step separately.

results

Tony Robbins starts by defining the results he wants to achieve. He asks the following questions:

• What will be the results?
• What exactly do I want to achieve?

This helps to create clarity about the results as well as to prioritize them. After all, there can be a lot of them, and they can carry completely different benefits.

Robbins: "Think first, then answer."

Choices

He writes down all options, even those that may seem strange. Why? Tony says that there is a principle here: “One option is not a choice. The two options are a dilemma. Three options - a choice.

It doesn't matter if you like any of these options, just write them down.

Effects

Robbins tries to figure out the consequences of each of the options he came up with, asking each of them the following questions:

• What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?
• What will I get from each option?
• What will it cost me?

Options evaluation

For each option or choice, Tony Robbins asks the following questions:

• What results are affected? (this is what we discussed in the first paragraph)
• How critical are the disadvantages and how important are the advantages on a scale of 1 to 10?
• What is the probability, from 0 to 100%, that a negative or positive consequence will occur?
• What emotional benefit or consequence would result if I chose this option?

Robbins uses this step to eliminate certain options from the list.

Damage reduction

He then considers the consequences of the shortcomings of each of the remaining options. For everyone, Tony Robbins brainstorms alternative ways to fix or mitigate damage.

You can lean towards one option, but still know that there are downsides to it. That's what this stage is for: think about how to reduce their impact.

Decision

Robbins chooses the option that provides the most confidence in achieving the desired outcomes and needs based on the most likely outcomes.

He suggests the following steps in this phase:

1. Choose the best option.
2. Complete it to make sure it works.
3. Decide for yourself that regardless of whether the option works 100% or not, it will lead to victory (this way you can stop tormented by thoughts that choosing one option, we lose another).
4. Develop a plan for implementation.
5. Take action.

Books

You are unlikely to learn how to make decisions by learning a couple of methods. This is a process that takes years. The following books will help speed it up.

• "Problem Solving by Secret Service Methods" by Morgan Jones.
• "Refraction. The Science of Seeing Differently" Bo Lotto.
• "Guide to Lies. Critical Thinking in the Post-Truth Age by Daniel Levitin.
• “How not to make mistakes. The Power of Mathematical Thinking Jordan Ellenberg.
• Why are we wrong. Thinking Traps in Action by Joseph Hallinan.
• “Traps of thinking. How to Make Decisions You Won't Regret by Chip Heath and Dan Heath.
• "Territory of delusions. What Mistakes Smart People Make by Rolf Dobelli.
• “Proactive thinking. How simple questions can dramatically change your work and life. John Miller.
• "Mental traps at work" Mark Goulston.

This article sheds light on only part of such a complex process as decision making. You can learn more about it in our free course "".

We make decisions all the time. Sometimes more than a hundred of them can accumulate in a day, and all of them will have certain consequences. This means only one thing: the quality of decisions determines the quality of our lives. When you achieve mastery in this matter, you will achieve success in many areas. We wish you good luck!

Decide on time

Michael Breus in his book "Always on Time" suggests approaching the issue from the point of view of the science of biorhythms. Each person has their own right time to make decisions. During the day, everyone has moments when a person is unable to make a choice due to lack of clarity of thought, he risks making a decision under the influence of emotions. First, determine your chronotype, then analyze the daily routine and try to act in accordance with the recommendations, then your decisions will be thoughtful, and you will not regret them later.

Calm your brain

Meditation fans claim that a calm and relaxed brain is better at thinking, which means it is able to make the best decision. To do this, breathe consciously for a few minutes, or use one of the practices in the Joy Within book.

If you don't want to meditate, there is a longer but equally effective way to calm your brain. Go to bed.

Calculate the opportunity cost

For example, we invite you to the district choir festival on the same evening when the final of the World Cup takes place. If you are of sound mind, you will refuse the invitation - its opportunity cost is too high. Always consider what "price" you will pay and what benefit you will receive. Try to get more value at a lower price.

Keep your distance

The tool that helps you put your emotions in order is called 10/10/10 (from the book The Pitfalls of Thinking). If you don't know what to do, consider your decisions within the three frames. How will we treat them in 10 minutes? And after 10 months? And in 10 years? Three time frames are an elegant way to force us to distance ourselves a little and make the right decision.

Take seven breaths

Samurai made decisions for seven breaths. If the samurai failed to make a decision during this time, he switched to something else, since this meant that either he himself was not ready for the decision, or there were no suitable circumstances.

Push off from the worst option

This method is also suitable for making collective decisions. For example, your colleagues can't decide where to go for lunch, and no one offers options. Say, "Let's have lunch at McDonald's." Immediately after that, everyone will abandon your idea and start offering options. Thus, starting from a deliberately unsuitable offer, you begin to generate better options. So, if you can’t make a decision in any way, choose the most unfortunate, obviously inappropriate option. By pushing away from it, you can avoid the stupor and begin to analyze better alternatives.

go in for sports

The co-author of the book "100% Charged" Renat Shagabutdinov went through all the stages of amateur sports: from his complete lack of it or two to four easy runs a week to preparing for an ultramarathon or Ironman with seven to ten workouts a week and running up to 135 km a week . His observations show that there is a sweet spot - the golden mean: the ideal number of activities that allows you to be in great shape, sleep six hours, and feel like you slept for seven, wake up easily and think great. In turn, three to four workouts a week for 30–40 minutes will give you vigor, strength, good mood, and the ability to keep the working pace much longer than before. And you will be able to get enough sleep even in less time than usual, and sleep will become stronger. In addition, exercise increases the performance of your brain. How you feel throughout the day directly affects the quality of your decision making.

Don't delay

Sometimes procrastination gets in the way of making a decision. We know the right answer, but we just can't take a step because it's not urgent or important yet. They say procrastination is the plague of the 21st century. Because the peasant in the Middle Ages, for example, had no opportunity to put things off. If you don’t chop wood, don’t bring water, don’t feed the cattle, hunger, cold, death will come. Modern conditions do not make procrastination fatal. You will have to force yourself to believe that postponing is like death. And you have no other choice.

Make a good movie

Larisa Parfentyeva in her book "100 Ways to Change Your Life" gives an interesting decision-making technique. A friend told her about this technique. “Every time I have to make a decision, I think about the film I'm currently making. If I am offered to participate in some project, then I ask myself: “Let's say I agree and this project will get into my film, the audience will say“ Wow! It's powerful!' or not?' When I talk to someone, I ask myself: 'Is this dialogue worthy of being in the movie? Would he teach the audience anything? Or would you watch this moment on rewind?“ And it also motivates you to take action - for example, on a day off, when you could lie in bed or somehow kill time somehow. I realize that it would be too boring for my legendary film about a legendary life, and I come up with adventures for the day to come. This question had a very serious impact on my worldview. Now there's nothing to be done: after all, I'm the protagonist of my own film. You have to play your best."

Keep it simple

Ask anyone who has created anything really creative, and they will honestly tell you that they have no idea where the right solutions come from. He just does his thing. Every day.

Give up perfectionism

When you have a distorted value system and you are completely absorbed in the little things, it is much more difficult to get the job done, and even more so to make a decision. You constantly ask yourself: am I doing the right thing? Look at your abilities and priorities more soberly. Accept that in most cases "good enough" is "perfect" and that mistakes are inevitable in life.

Silence your monkey

There is a small voice in the head of each of us, and it tries to convince you that what you are doing - or about to do, or just about to do - is a terrible idea that will destroy your life. He is here to warn you, to scare you, to stop you. As a result, you begin to torment yourself. You may, almost having made a decision, suddenly back away from it, think that you should ask someone else for advice, you may doubt your choice, destroy everything that you have achieved, forget about all the words of praise and support that you were told, completely lose faith in yourself.

Don't Ignore Contradictions

By focusing on one of the possible solutions, we reject all the others. We perceive only those facts that confirm our opinion. The brain works the same way in smart, educated people, and their opposites. Defending our position, we are not always ready to consider the issue from other sides. Focusing on one chosen position and defending it, we lose objectivity.

Make decisions for yourself

Michael Phelps' legendary swimmer coach Bob Bowman explains why his ward decided to return to the sport after the London Olympics. At that time, he already had twenty-two Olympic medals, eighteen of them were gold, a dozen world records and millions of dollars. “There are no other reasons. I want to return for myself. I love to swim. I want to swim, said Michael. “I still have something to strive for.” When making decisions, you should think first of all about yourself: what will be the best course of events for you personally?

Use a learning loop

The easiest way to learn how to make decisions in various life circumstances is called a learning loop. It is an ongoing cycle of requests, thoughts and actions. Based on it, we learn to act in such a way as to get what we need in any situation. Over time, this feedback loop, or learning loop, shapes beliefs and behaviors.

Separate emotion and mind

The reason why we cannot make impartial decisions lies in our brains. Everything we see, hear, smell and touch is transformed into electrical signals. They are transmitted from cell to cell until they reach the end point of the journey - the brain. There, the signals first pass through the limbic system - the zone in which our emotions are formed, and only then enter the brain area responsible for rational thinking. Before the mind enters into action, we evaluate what is happening from an emotional point of view. When we have to make a difficult decision, our feelings are seething. We scroll through arguments in our heads, agonize over well-known circumstances, change our minds daily. If the solution were a table, then none of the numbers would change (after all, no new information came in), but in our heads it looks different. Where does an unbiased analysis come from?

Plan ahead

If you know you're prone to making poor decisions here and now, plan ahead for what you want to do. Do you want to read an intellectual book? Set a day to start reading it. Can't go to the gym? Set a date and prepare a tracksuit for the evening. Make a decision and then just stick with it.

Control your thoughts

Thought control is the hardest part of the road to success. There is nothing more difficult than this. This is the biggest test. And honestly, the most important thing. It must be admitted that the path to success is harsh and difficult. On it you will definitely get bruises and abrasions. Therefore, you need to be mentally stable. What you do, how far you go, how much you succeed, what you achieve - all these are the results of your ability to control your mind, your thoughts.

Think of different options

Even a slight hint of an alternative is enough to make you make the right decision. Every time you make a choice, think about how you can increase the number of options. Wondering where to order pizza? Why not cook it at home! Do you want to go to a movie? There are many other entertainments in the world - theater, museums, exhibitions. Thinking about one development of events, we significantly narrow down the choice.

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their couple the cherished “I love you” never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help to get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid having a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.