Cowardice is a person's reaction to fear, expressed in the inability or unwillingness to perform any proper actions (actions); mental weakness.

Alexander the Great noticed among his warriors a man named Alexander, who constantly turned to flight during battles. And he said to him: "I beg you, either overcome your cowardice, or change your name, so that the similarity of our names does not mislead anyone."

The inability or unwillingness to cope with fear or any phobia becomes the driving force behind cowardice. Courage is trained cowardice. When a person in a moment of danger “thinks” only with his feet, ignoring the voice of conscience and reason, it means that we are facing cowardice. She always makes a choice in favor of a comfortable, non-threatening present versus an unpredictable and uncertain future.

Instead of solving the problem, the coward hides from it. From the suggestion of Pliny the Elder, a legend came to us from Ancient Rome about ostriches allegedly hiding their heads in the sand for fear: “Ostriches imagine that when they stick their heads and necks into the ground, their whole body seems to be hidden.” It is curious that this misconception still exists in the minds of citizens. An ostrich is a bird that actively defends itself when threatened. The ostrich has long, very strong, two-toed legs, perfectly adapted for running and defending against enemies. The ostrich bends down to the ground to eat and swallow sand and small pebbles. Many birds do this - after all, they have no teeth, they are replaced by a muscular stomach with hard walls, so the ostrich has to swallow stones to make it easier to digest his dinner.

Various entertainment events help to hide from the fear of solving life's problems of cowardice. Behind the screen of revelry, sexual promiscuity, or simply hobbies of cinema and sports, cowardice avoids resolving unpleasant situations, accumulating more and more of them. Cowardice reaches out to laughing friends, cheerful, cheerful people, trying to find in them at least psychological support. She involuntarily realized the truth - funny is not dangerous, and, defending herself from fear, acquired a tendency to laugh and giggle.

Cowardice should not be equated with caution, moderation, gradualness, or prudence. A coward, faced with uncertainty, does not want to take risks, he is a slave of fear. At the same time, he is fully aware of the groundlessness of his fears. But when a person, seeing an aggressive drunken company, avoids communication and eye contact with her, of course, this is a reasonable precaution. If he is engaged in spearfishing for the first time, then it is reasonable to familiarize yourself with the rules of behavior under water.

When cowardice becomes a manifest quality of a person, it is natural that she rejects her opposites - courage, courage, courage and selflessness. At the same time, it easily transforms into fearfulness, fearfulness, timidity and apprehension.

An inexplicable phenomenon, uncertainty and the risks associated with it, always cause a certain fear in any person. Unless the insane are afraid. Everyone experiences fear. Cowards die many times. However, a courageous person overcomes fear by an effort of will, forcing himself to fulfill his duties and duty. In cowardice, the muscles of the mind are atrophied, the willpower is suppressed by fear, and the conscience is silent. When the fatal moments come, she only under third-party coercion, "out of the stick" does her due. F. M. Dostoevsky wrote: “The coward is the one who is afraid and runs; and whoever is afraid and does not run is not a coward yet.”

Everything in the world is relative. Who is better an undisciplined brave man or a disciplined coward? V. Tarasov writes in “Principles of Life”: “The brave one does not advance alone, the coward does not retreat alone. One warrior, unable to withstand the tension of the upcoming battle, ran up to the enemy positions, cut off two heads, and returned with them. But the commander ordered to add the head of the hero to these two. Since there was no order to attack. These three heads in a row are a symbol of the prohibition against attacking without an order. The brave do not come alone. Discipline cannot be maintained if the brave advance without orders. Here are the soldiers in the trenches. Looking forward to the start of the battle. The brave man got up and, without waiting for the order, went on the offensive. Behind him is another, a third, and the whole company. Only the coward remained in the trench. He alone is disciplined and awaits orders. But there is no order, because everyone has already left. How to evaluate the behavior of a coward? Like discipline, and reward! Or as cowardice, and punish? If a year has passed, and he is still sitting and waiting for an order? If every thing is in its place, every person is where he should be, and does what he must do - this is order. If the order is violated, then we can say who is the violator and what he violated - this is a mess. If the order is violated, but it is impossible to say who exactly is to blame and what exactly he violated, this is disorganization. Disorganization is worse than disorder. With her, fear and fearlessness change places. It's scary to keep order. And don't be afraid to break it. That's what disorganization is. When a coward retreats alone, he makes a mess. When the brave advances alone, he produces disorganization. The way from disorganization to order is through disorder. First turn the disorganization into a mess. Then punish the culprit in this new mess. To return the picture of the world, when it’s scary to break the order, and it’s not scary not to break it. ”

That is why, in peacetime conditions, an employer would prefer to take an executive, disciplined, cowardly official into a large economic structure. An excessively independent, enterprising, courageous person in emergency circumstances can behave extraordinary and risky for the system. A coward will play it safe ten thousand times and do what is beneficial to the system.

“To a coward it seems that even the mountains are shaking,” says a Mongolian proverb. Confessing the principle "No matter what happens", cowardice clogs up in the shell of its own egoism, protecting itself from the threats and challenges of the outside world. She is closed in her loneliness, like Robinson Crusoe on a desert island. The frightened Ego, fearing for its safety, is ready to commit betrayal and meanness. At all times, cowardice has been and will be the forge of traitors. Cowardice, betrayal and betrayal are the unchanging trinity of depravity. Paired with cowardice, many of the negative qualities of a person take on an exaggerated form: a stupid person becomes an insane stupid “brake” with paralysis of the mind, a deceitful person turns into a deceiver and slanderer. The phrase of the last Russian Emperor Nicholas II, which he wrote down in his diary on March 2, 1917, on the day of his abdication, became winged: "All around is treason, cowardice and deceit."

Cowardice breeds cruelty. Through cruelty to weaker or closer people, she skillfully disguises herself and hides her true nature. The coward spills all his anger and resentment onto the victim. Savage murders, chilling the heart with their cruelty, are often committed under the influence of fear. Fear develops into horror, and the latter into unbridled cruelty. Cowardice deprives a person of reason, and he becomes the embodiment of heartlessness, hardness of heart and indifference. Helvetius accurately noted: "Cruelty is always the result of fear, weakness and cowardice."

A man can live his life and never know, because of his cowardice, what he was capable of. The desire for security, the fear of risks, the desire to have a "roof", the refusal to make vital decisions - all this together makes a potentially brave person a pitiful cowardly lion. "Why are you a coward? - Ellie asked, looking with surprise at the huge Lion. - I was born that way. Of course, everyone considers me brave: after all, the lion is the king of beasts! When I roar - and I roar very loudly, you heard - animals and people run out of my way. But if an elephant or a tiger attacked me, I would be scared, I swear! It's good that no one knows what a coward I am, - said the Lion, wiping his tears with the fluffy tip of his tail. “I’m very ashamed, but I can’t change myself…”

Every girl dreams of meeting a knight without fear and reproach. But what if you gave your heart to the "cowardly lion"? Is it possible to be happy with a man from the timid ten? How to Cultivate Courage in an indecisive life partner?.

How to recognize a coward?

The most important sign of a male coward - unwillingness to make decisions.

A timid representative of the strong half of humanity is comfortable only when everything is decided for him. Therefore, he definitely will not take the initiative to be introduced to his girlfriend's relatives, is unlikely to ask his boss to raise his salary, and will never refuse to help his friends, even to the detriment of his own interests.

You can also recognize a cowardly man according to external signs:

• he is afraid to stand out from the crowd, so he dresses discreetly;
• restrained in the manifestation of emotions;
• avoids looking into the eyes of the interlocutor for a long time;
• almost never gesticulates;
• often fiddling with an object in his hands.

Where do male cowards come from?

Psychologists say: cowardice is a character trait. It usually forms during adolescence, when males are fighting for dominance in the group. Adolescents who failed to win a high position in the hierarchy, there is a defensive reaction.

future man begins to fear open conflict and turns into a social coward.

Alas, it is impossible to eradicate cowardice. This is a personality trait that will have to be reconciled with.

However, if not the most courageous man will feel confident, he will be less likely to act like a coward. A loving woman can help him with this.

How to be happy with a coward?

In the description of the male coward, did you recognize your admirer or husband?

• Never call a man a coward not jokingly, much less in the heat of a quarrel. The words “weakling”, “quiet”, “loose”, etc. are also banned. In no case should a man guess that you consider him a coward. He will never forgive you for this. Remember: a man expects from a woman understanding, not exposure.
• Make a list of benefits her lover, who compensate for his not the most enviable character trait. Record every little thing. For example, "does not forget to water the cacti when I go on a business trip", "knows who Schopenhauer is." Refresh your notes from time to time.
• Avoid situations in which it is difficult for your man to find courage. Are you flooded with neighbors for the third time in a year? Do not hope that your husband will want to deal with unscrupulous citizens himself. Do not demand the impossible from him. Talk to your unfortunate neighbors yourself. Kill two birds with one stone: solve the problem, God forbid, and save the peace of mind of your loved one.
• Do not focus on manifestations of cowardice. You were planning a romantic weekend, but your loved one could not refuse the boss's request to come to work on the day off? Moreover, have you witnessed how he babbled servilely: “Petr Petrovich, I consider it a blessing to work as much as possible for the benefit of my beloved company”? Pretend that nothing out of the ordinary happened. A man will willingly believe in it and will be grateful to you. And the holiday can be arranged a week later, right?
• Praise your chosen one as often as possible, especially in the presence of relatives and friends, but only when there is a reason. Clumsy flattery will alert a man.
• Try to have fun from the realization that not a single problem is solved without your participation. Think about how many women dream of ruling over their husbands. Yes, you are just lucky!

To better understand your chosen one and save him from complexes, we also recommend reading the article on the site "". We wish you mutual understanding and harmonious relations!

Copying this article is prohibited!

It is rare that a gathering in the circle of girlfriends is complete without a discussion of what modern men are cowardly and irresponsible. Psychologist Tatyana Strashuk believes that before labeling, you should understand the reasons for the behavior of your chosen one.

Most recently, he said that you are his only one. And then suddenly disappeared without explanation. Now he hides and does not pick up the phone when you call. And you cry into your friend's vest, in your hearts calling him a coward. And really, why does he not have the courage to admit honestly, looking into his eyes, that he no longer wants to continue the relationship?

You can’t measure men and women with the same yardstick, warns psychologist Tatyana Strashuk. - Often women treat men without understanding how different we are. A woman, like a fish in water, feels herself in the inner "circle". This is family, home, relationships with loved ones. The nature of a man is in external activities: conquest, work, protection, action. For the same reason, a man's emotional sphere is not as developed as a woman's. Most men, even discovering moments of sensitivity in themselves, are afraid of them, considering them not masculine.

Thus, for a woman, emotions are her kingdom, for a man - something dangerous, alarming. This is not their sphere, here they feel like "snakes in a hot frying pan." And if a woman can have intimate conversations with her friends for hours, then for a man such conversations are a moment of extreme, almost intimate openness, vulnerability. And if so, then there is always the danger of "missing a blow." Therefore, it is much easier for a man to prefer action to talk, even if the action is the choice of inaction, that is, avoiding the problem.

Now it’s clear why your chosen one chose to hide instead of sorting things out with you? And indeed, many men admit that it is easier for them to "get in the face" than to be condemned, to feel humiliated, offended. But it is precisely this man who is most afraid of conflict situations.

So many male actions that seem to us to be cowardice and meanness are actually explained by the fear of their own experiences and feelings. Departing from solving problems, a man seems to forget about what worries him. Just because he's hiding and not answering his phone doesn't mean he's being dismissive of you. He hides from himself, and at the same time protects his self-esteem. The fear of one's own experiences, which will certainly arise at the time of a difficult "debriefing" in a relationship, includes such unconscious defense mechanisms in the psyche.

Getty Images/Fotobank

As soon as your friend got pregnant, her companion shook like an aspen leaf. And then he asked for a time-out and drove away for two weeks to his mother. And the husband of another friend of yours has been wiping his pants for several years in a hateful position, receiving neither moral nor material satisfaction. At the same time, he desperately clings to this place, afraid of losing what he has. And you, at the women's council, put a categorical diagnosis on both poor fellows: a coward, an irresponsible infantile, a sissy.

You may have noticed that different people react differently to danger. Some freeze - fear paralyzes them, others, on the contrary, react quickly, flee. What may seem natural to a woman, such as pregnancy, a man may perceive as a signal of danger. And... run away.

In general, the fear of responsibility is a fairly common phenomenon, especially in our time. And not only in men. Often it stems from a wrong attitude to the very concept of responsibility. In my practice, I have come across the fact that the very word "responsibility" causes fear and rejection in many people. This means that everything that is directly or indirectly connected with responsibility will be reflected by fear until a person realizes that in fact responsibility is what happens to him every moment of his life, whether he wants it or not, he accepts it. it or run from it. Because only the person himself is responsible for his life and everything that happens in it. It is he who receives all the consequences from his actions, thoughts, words.

As long as a person is under the illusion that someone or something outside is responsible for what is happening to him, he will behave infantilely, immaturely towards himself and others. Only the realization that I and only I am the master of my life, the cause and effect of what is happening, allows a person to accept ALL the consequences of his actions.

What are the causes of irresponsible and immature behavior?

♦ A man in the family could be treated like a child for a long time, not trusting him with important matters. Therefore, he is used to the fact that all important decisions are not made by him. In adult life, especially at critical moments, he reacts in a similar way - like a child who is waiting for someone to come and decide everything for him. And lets everything go. After all, he lacks the experience of taking responsibility, faith in himself and his ability to make decisions.

♦ The man subconsciously learned the irresponsible behavior of his father or other significant men in his family.

♦ The boy grew up without a father, and the mother fulfilled the functions of two roles. At the same time, she did not bring up masculine qualities in a child, did not explain male functions and psychological differences between the sexes. Especially if the child at the same time was the "navel of the universe", and he was assigned only the royal role of "sissy". In adulthood, such a man will wait for decisions and actions from a woman, sincerely offended by the demands to be responsible for his words and deeds, not understanding why this is expected of him.

Can a man's behavior be changed?

Knowing the reasons makes it easier to understand the situation, but does not change it, says Tatyana Strashuk. - No one can ever change anyone, remake without personal desire. A person can influence something only through himself, realizing his own mistakes. And here the most important thing is the understanding of the woman herself, that it was such a man that she met for a reason, with something in herself she attracted him into her life. Apparently, some subconscious signals come from her to the outside world, which are consonant with a man of such behavior. If you are treated irresponsibly, they lie to you, then this most likely means that you are doing this to yourself. So, it is possible to change this situation by researching: WHAT IN ME attracts irresponsible and cowardly men into my life? Our relationship with the world, and especially with men, reflects our relationship with ourselves. After all, the world is a mirror in which everyone sees his own reflection.

Tatyana Koryakina

Man and cowardice - at first glance, two contradictory concepts. However, the fact that a man is not afraid of mice and cockroaches, bloody scenes in films and even skydiving does not make him a daredevil. There are more than enough cowards, although their fears are more of a social nature.

cowardly lover

Lisa knows perfectly well what the expression "knock the ground out from under her feet" means. Two months of a cloudless romantic relationship with her beloved ended on the same day when her friend simply stopped picking up the phone. Attempts to find out anything yielded nothing. For several days of silence, Lisa almost went crazy, and then in Odnoklassniki she received a letter from him: “You are very good, but I have a lot of work now, and I can’t afford to treat you lightly. Let's be friends." It was only the understanding that, fortunately, she did not have to link her fate with such a coward, helped to survive the painful blow.

With the advent of SMS, the Internet and social networks for cowards, a real expanse has come! I wanted to break up with a girl - no problem: a short message - and you are free, you can go drink beer with friends. No need to look into the eyes of an abandoned beloved, no need to answer questions. Paradise! And what is happening to her is purely her personal grief.

The lowest cowardice is the inability to take responsibility for one's actions. Feel free to cross this one off the list of real men.

cowardly boss

Marina has been working as a Deputy General Director in a large company for many years. There are many employees, and staff turnover is a constant phenomenon. I am satisfied with my work, but there is one “but”. “I already have a guilt complex! she laments. - Every time the boss decides to fire someone, he entrusts this “honorable mission” to me, referring to the fact that he has enough of his own affairs. You have no idea how hard it is to tell an employee that he is fired. Someone has a family, someone has a mother, someone is crying, someone is angry, but I have to listen to everything! Let him bear it all!”

Yes, the boss is an important, serious and always busy person. But this is not a reason to entrust your work to deputies, secretaries or other representatives. After all, the decision to dismiss an employee is made by the boss, which means that he should be able to say it. The only pity is that there are few daredevils who are able to say this to his face.

cowardly friend

“I hate these male “fraternizations”! Anya complains. - After a couple of glasses, the husband starts acting like an idiot! For his friends, he is ready to take off his last shirt, at the first call he runs to them! Once, in the middle of the night, one called, asked to be met from the airport. My husband, of course, went. I was proud that this is a male friendship, I don’t understand. And then, when he got married, this “friend” didn’t even invite him to the wedding!”

Poems and songs have been written about male friendship, films have been made. Men look down on the so-called female friendship and condescendingly slap their girlfriend on the shoulder: they say, well, be friends, be friends ... until the first purchase of identical dresses. Only now, some do not even suspect that their relationship with friends has nothing to do with real male friendship. A coward man needs a company for self-affirmation, and he will create it with all his might and try not to leave the pride. Friends call to the bar, and he has already promised his girlfriend a home evening? Nothing, a friend will survive, because a cowardly man is very scared that he may not be called a second time. In general, it is difficult for him to say “no” in principle. It's hard and scary.

And there is also the other side of the coin: “we are with you”, “we are for you”, and when the time comes - “I understand you, but my hut is on the edge”. As Leo Tolstoy said, a cowardly friend is more terrible than an enemy, because you fear the enemy, but you hope for a friend.

Where do cowardly men come from?

The so-called social coward is a cowardly person with weak willpower and weak self-confidence. Unlike depression, cowardice is a character trait, and not a temporary state of the human psyche. Therefore, you should not hope too much that the coward will change. It is only in fairy tales that the Cowardly Lion is willing to do anything to gain courage. Real "cowardly lions" are fine and so.

Where does cowardice come from? Like many of our problems and complexes - from childhood. During puberty, especially among male adolescents, the struggle for dominance in the group and the assertion of one's "ego" begins to be clearly aggressive in nature (hello to school fights "class to class"). Against the background of this struggle, a number of adolescents develop a defensive reaction, expressed in submission with traces of hidden aggression. This defense subsequently leads to the development of cowardice - fear of open conflict and actions on the sly. When the boy grows up, cowardice can transform into cunning, but cunning is not good, having nothing to do with ingenuity.

Is your man a coward?

If you happen to fall in love with a coward, for a long time you will not even suspect it. When the first delights from the candy-bouquet period pass, take a closer look at his behavior, carefully ask about past novels. The first sign of cowardice is blaming the woman for everything, impartial words addressed to her and harsh criticism.

The concept of "cowardice" is very broad, and accusations of cowardice can be very controversial. If a young man, in response to the attacks of hooligans, did not fight with them, this is prudence. If 5 months does not introduce a girl to her parents - this is unwillingness. And if he does not want to go into the army, this is a desire to build a career. Or is it cowardice?

Have you ever dealt with cowardly men?