There is a lot of general advice on this subject. So general that each item needs instructions. For example:

• find common topics for conversation with her;
• listen to her, ask questions;
• be self-confident;
• be original;

But it comes down to specifics: you have a date with a girl. And it is not clear how to prepare for this date? Maybe something to read, watch, remember? Where to start communication? But what if there is an awkward pause in the conversation?

We men love it so much when there is a plan of action. We plan a working day, keep a calendar of meetings, write out abstracts if there is an important presentation or negotiations ahead. But for dates - the approach is somehow different. We just buy a bouquet of flowers, take a lady to an expensive restaurant and ... the result is zero. And it would be worth spending half an hour to think about what to talk about in this restaurant. The effect of such training is much greater.

What to talk about with her? First I'll tell as you have to communicate. Need:

a) Tell interesting stories...

b) ... periodically asking her questions ...

c) ... in order to engage her in a dialogue ...

d) ... and then just manage your conversation.

Here it is - the formula for success. So you can easily fill painful pauses with interesting stories, switch your attention to her by asking questions, and transfer the conversation to the topics you need.

So, the first skill for successful communication is the ability to tell stories. Your preparation for a date will begin with the preparation topics for these stories. Let's do a little exercise. Take paper and pencil. Write:

• 3 books that have impressed you the most lately and why;
• 3 films that you liked the most in the last year and why;
• 3 places in the world that you remember the most and why;
• 3 interesting cases from your life over the past month (you can observe situations that you observed).

Write in that order. If you don't have favorite books, movies, places, and nothing interesting happens to you... Uh... buddy, sorry, no wonder you don't have a girlfriend. Why does she need such a bore? What should she do with you?

Ok, we warmed up, at the output we got a list of topics for stories. Now you need to prepare the story itself. To do this, let's go back to grade 7 and remember how to write an essay. Before writing it, it is worth making a plan, highlighting introduction,main part, climax and interchange.

A good story contains all four of these parts. Plus full of details and emotions. Take now any topic from your own list and make 4 tablets:

Introduction

Main part

climax

denouement

Now fill in all these four tablets in thesis, so that there is an outline for the story. Boring? Lazy? I know. That is why the men get off with a bouquet of flowers and an expensive restaurant. So that dinner and a "broom" brighten up the girl's unbearably boring evening.

After you have written a story in this format, try to tell it. Then the second, third ... you will be surprised, but if you do this regularly, then very soon you will always have 5-10 great stories in stock that are relevant in any company. And on a date too.

Stories are stories, but you need to take into account a couple of important points that will help not only make the conversation interesting, but also remove tension in communication (which is no less important than communication itself).

So…

Let her open up to you!

Many people are afraid to openly talk about what happened to them. Someone is ashamed, and someone is simply afraid that his story will not be as interesting as we would like.

Therefore, when you have a first date, the girl may be as shy of you as you are of her. Moreover, upbringing will not allow her to entertain you more than you entertain her. So you have to take the rap for two, trying to somehow talk her. :)

But you can relieve this tension from her, allowing her to open up to you and begin to communicate more actively (she will be grateful to you later for this).

A good way to liberate a girl is to start talking about something first.. If you share a story from your life with her, then it will be easier for her to answer you in the same way (the principle of “returning kindness for kindness” will work here).

Finally, when she has begun to tell you something, it is advisable to ask clarifying questions that will help her tell you more details.

And sometimes you can just emotionally ask: “Yes, okay?”, “Seriously?”, Showing a strong interest in her story.

Keep using the tit-for-tat principle by sharing your stories with her. So she will have more desire to tell something in response.

Take her to another reality

Sometimes you can even dream! Why not?

You just need to dream correctly, involving the girl in an alternative reality.

How to do it?

It is enough just to ask her any question from the topic around which you will build your joint alternative reality. For example: " Are you jealous? Imagine that some girls would constantly call me. Would it piss you off?».

And after her answer, continue: “ Imagine, we are at home in the evening, and someone constantly writes to me. I say you don't have to worry, they're just groupies, but you're still nervous. Then you go to the kitchen and start breaking dishes. Then we make up and make love on the remains of this dish. Then together we beat the dishes and again put up right on this dish ...».

You can use a less explicit alternate reality: " Would you like to live on a desert island?". And after her reply: Imagine how you and I would run along the beach, get food, drink rum. I would climb palm trees for coconuts and hunt birds. And you would roast these birds on a fire ...».

When you dream with her like that, then it binds you more strongly than if you had 10 mediocre dates.

A couple of tips for good communication

When you communicate with her and tell any stories, then do not look at her in fear and uncertainty. Your eyes should radiate confidence that your story is the best in the world.

If you are afraid that she will not appreciate what you are saying, then this will be evident from your reaction.- you will look at her frightened, as if afraid that she will not start a conversation. Try to hide these manifestations of your behavior.

It is equally important that you sit on the side of her, and not opposite. First, when you are sitting opposite, there is a strong barrier between you in the form of a table. Secondly, communication with a girl implies at least some kind of touch that can only be done while sitting on the side of her.

Try to speak confidently. Especially when you take her to an alternate reality. You will still say it - so why not immediately do it confidently? If you start to mumble or your voice trembles, she will immediately feel that all your words are unnatural for you.

All these rules are simple and, at the same time, very effective. Especially try to pay attention to the first paragraph of this article. After doing this at least 5 times, you will learn to communicate emotionally automatically, without even thinking about what exactly you are saying.

A lot depends on the ability to find a common language with anyone. This includes career advancement, a successful personal life, and a large circle of friends. But how to become an interesting interlocutor? What to say, about what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's figure out how to improve your communication skills.

You must have met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly keep up the conversation and even entertain the company, if necessary. The second is difficult to talk to a stranger, it is difficult to select topics for conversation or speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting conversationalist?

First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who go through life easily are much easier to relate to many things. They are interested in many things, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person it is easy to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.

Another distinguishing feature of an interesting interlocutor is a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are able to defuse the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Funny anecdotes, unusual analogies, and the ability to laugh at oneself make such people even more attractive to talk to.

How to become an interesting person

A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how to become an interesting person and interlocutor? No matter how hard we try to study the technologies of conversation and do not select interesting topics, without a deep study of personal qualities it will be useless. First of all, you have to be interesting to yourself. It is necessary not only to study a lot and learn new things, but also to be able to operate with these facts. An interesting person will not stutter over a historical event or a new anecdote. Train your memory and attention, this will help overcome communication difficulties.

What to read to develop communication skills

In the world, many books, manuals and brochures are published daily for those who want to learn the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of ​​information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first available edition, you can be disappointed.

Choose the literature that has already passed the test of time and has taken its rightful place on the shelves. Classical works of psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for the further development of communication skills. You will not only learn the techniques of proper communication, but you will also be able to better understand people.

The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.

Periodical publications will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often written in collaboration with professionals. They definitely won't hurt. You can even make yourself a selection of clippings to make it easier to use them.

Basic rules of an interesting interlocutor

Having studied the theory of psychology of communications, you can begin to practice. There are several tricks that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:

Forbidden topics of conversation

Not everything and not always worth talking about. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never raise these questions:

1. Politics is a very complex and multifaceted topic. Especially international, because a variety of events are constantly taking place in the world. People can hold a variety of points of view, and categorically stating one of them will easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tension.
2. Health - this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of the last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about your illnesses.
3. Personal life - people do not like to be pestered with intrusive questions. Topics such as marriage, childbirth, divorce, etc., are everyone's personal business. Discussing them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.

What to talk about

But then the question arises: what is it permissible to talk about? Lots of topics to talk about:

• Achievements of science, including new technology: phones, cars, etc.
• Fashion, beauty, style - just do not indulge in banal gossip.
• Movies, books, performances and other interesting events.

How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl

When developing relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same thing about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the above recommendations, and you will definitely succeed with the opposite sex.

Throughout life, people often ask deep questions, the answers to which are not so easy to find. Every person is inherently a thinker and a sage. We often create problems for ourselves that turn into whole philosophical dilemmas. We all wish society and ourselves. And what is needed for this? Probably, one should be an interesting and very inquisitive person who improves throughout his life and strives for his goal. How to be interesting for society? Let's settle this once and for all!

How to change your life to become an interesting and happy person?

Try to constantly get new knowledge, do not sit in one place. You probably have an acquaintance or friend with whom it is incredibly interesting to have a dialogue. Have you ever wondered why? Perhaps your interlocutor lives a very interesting and eventful life - he has many entertaining stories and adventures, he boldly speaks out, smiles and gives the impression of a generous person. Believe me, you are exactly the same! You just need to unlock your potential. So let's start changing your boring life right now!

You need to drastically change your daily routine. And with what, actually, to begin? Let's imagine how you are going to work: you get up in the morning, brush your teeth, have breakfast, get dressed, leave the house and go to work along the already familiar and boring route. Don't you think that you have become a little robotic? Each step from this sequential chain is predictable, and this is a priori uninteresting.

Let's fix this! Waking up in the morning, do light exercises (jogging, gymnastics, aerobics, fitness). Physical training well cheers up for the whole day - you will always be cheerful and positive. Then we proceed to breakfast - eat only those foods that are healthy and that you like. Very banal advice, however, if you act according to this plan, you will already eliminate a significant part of the negativity from the coming day. After the meal, we leave the house and choose the most unusual route for ourselves. Let you be a few minutes late for work, but your emotional reserve has been replenished with new places and impressions.

Stop giving yourself to the "black mirror"

In the age of modern and information technologies, people have ceased to be "alive". Whoever you take, everyone has gadgets with a set of rich and interesting features. Undoubtedly, the latest technologies have begun to make life much easier, and this is at least interesting, but smartphones, tablets and laptops are catastrophically absorbing our lives. Some people are simply addicted to devices, so this hobby should be limited to some time.

Also, one should not neglect real, lively human communication, because it is here that the answer to the question of how to be an interesting person and interlocutor is stored. Turn off your phone! Let it be for a few hours, a day or a week - it doesn't matter, the main thing is to do it. The world has a limitless number of activities that are waiting for you. Meet the dawn with friends and family, go to a Chinese restaurant, walk through puddles in an uninterrupted downpour. All these absurd and sometimes infantile things make you more interesting as an interlocutor, friend or relative.

How to be always interesting? Be generous!

A truly interesting person always spreads the word around. You must constantly share your findings with others. If you have managed to saturate your life with exciting events, then it is always worth taking the initiative in their storytelling. Sometimes those things that seem obvious to you will become a real discovery for your interlocutor. Long forgotten by you is something new for others. A sociable and generous person never forgets his ideas, they multiply with

Never put off important things for tomorrow. Courage and perseverance will turn your life into an endless series of feats. A dull and boring person tends to wait, and he himself does not fully understand what. A happy person does not know what an "insurmountable obstacle" is! Go to those places where they are waiting for you, where you should find yourself: it makes no sense to sit by the phone - call, waiting for an invitation is also not an option - invite yourself, turn ideas into events, help others, and life will become easier. This is how they become the soul of the company and the whole core of society.

Stop striving for the ideal, because it simply does not exist! There is nothing perfect in the world, just like there are no “normal” people. Each person has a number of shortcomings, complexes and oddities. Some suffer from it, while others do not attach importance to it. And which one is right? Such questions do not wait for an answer. Own shortcomings and oddities must be skillfully accepted, and sometimes proudly demonstrated! This is the concept of personality.

An interesting person is always unique, because he remains himself! His pride and individuality demonstrate power and dominance within society. Stop apologizing for being different from others, there is nothing wrong with that. Your views and values ​​\u200b\u200bare inherent only in you and no one else, they should not be changed for the sake of public opinion. This does not mean that you should not give a damn about everyone, because in this case everyone will spit on you at the same time. This suggests that you prove to society the validity of your own decisions: you express what you know, do what you know how to do, and live as you see fit. And you do not need a large niche for this - a small piece of land is enough to stick your flag.

How to be an interesting man in dealing with women?

• Give the impression of a successful and not afraid of difficulties person.
• Give good advice and offer your help.
• In dealing with women, behave like a real gentleman.
• Never joke too vulgarly.
• Try to use monosyllables as little as possible.

Tips for men on how to be interesting. It is very easy to take possession of a woman if you follow the following rules:

• Show and show your respect for the fair sex, they appreciate and feel it.
• Never lie and do not say too much - a real man must be responsible for his words.
• Remember all the little things and details that your interlocutor describes in order to further prove that her words are not empty for you.
• Respect her boundaries, which she has set for herself regarding your love and attention.
• Show courage and fearlessness.
• Give her unobtrusive compliments.
• Be yourself.

In communicating with people, it is extremely difficult for us to understand at what point we become bored, because we really tell about interesting facts and believe that this is the best thing to tell a friend or friend. If a person begins to look away and simply yawn, then try to immediately finish your story, perhaps he also wants to speak out. An excessively long story about oneself, a loved one, quickly gets bored, it is not in vain that they say that the best interlocutor is a good listener.

How to win an interlocutor?

How to be interesting in everything to keep the listener? Try to ask as many questions as possible to find common interests as quickly as possible. In case of victory, your dialogue will turn into mutual pleasure, where you will exchange experiences and feelings with great pleasure.

Three story rule

The interlocutor is rarely interested in hearing about how many megapixels are on your phone's camera. People are always turned on by real life stories that once happened to you. Try to always have in stock a couple of adventures from personal experience that are overflowing with emotions and exciting events. After all, it is not for nothing that society loves various dramas and reality shows. When telling your story, try to keep the interlocutor in constant tension so that he eagerly wants to hear how your story will end.

Is charisma important?

How to be an interesting and charismatic interlocutor? The definition of charisma has become somewhat ambiguous. People interpret the meaning of this word in different ways, putting into it those epithets that they themselves come up with. Some boldly claim that charisma is born, while others believe that it can be trained. But here's an interesting fact: in 1966, a team of British scientists conducted a study, which revealed that at the moment of dialogue, people pay only 7% of their attention to the meaning of the words of the narrator, and the rest of the attention is directed to facial expressions and gestures. From this we can conclude that a good mood, a smile and explanatory gestures can increase the interest of your listener.

The skill of communication is one of the fundamental ones for a person to be able in any field. For a person who quickly converges with any people, who can interest them in interesting conversation and ideas, the ability to communicate is the very key that opens all doors for him. But in order for communication to begin to help you in life, you must learn about.

Who can be considered a good conversationalist? First of all, those people from whom they radiate goodwill and love of life. Such people enjoy every moment of life and are interested in everything that happens around them. This allows them to talk about anything from conquering other planets to raising preschool children. Therefore, in order for communication to begin to bring you real pleasure, you must learn to truly love life.

The task that you have set for yourself is quite difficult, but a person is able to achieve everything that he wants. In order to make your task a little easier, we recommend using some rules and recommendations.

Rule 1

You can talk to absolutely any person, to do this you are required to discover the topic that will be interesting for your interlocutor. It is almost impossible to meet such people who are not interested in anything in nature at all. If you nevertheless met this, then the universal theme, appropriate in any situation, is the personality of your interlocutor himself.

Rule 2

Listen. This means that you must demonstrate to your counterpart that you are interested in communicating with him, in the topic of conversation, and that you understand what he is trying to convey to you. To do this, you should look at the person you are talking to, nod in agreement with his thoughts, say "yes", or insert remarks during the conversation that show your interest, for example: "wow!" or "how cool!". In addition, you can finish words or sentences instead of the interlocutor, or pronounce them together with him, and also, if necessary, suggest the necessary words or phrases. Do not forget that in the event that you did not hear something, or understood it, your interlocutor must be asked again.

Rule 3

The topic of the conversation should be interesting for all its participants. Even when you are involved in some conversation, the topic of which is completely unfamiliar to you, try to listen carefully to the person you are talking to and understand the meaning of what he is telling you. If you do not support your interlocutor, and he does not feel your interest, your conversation will very quickly come to a standstill and be interrupted.

Rule 4

If you are not understood, it means that you did not express yourself clearly enough. Just take note of this and don't get annoyed when your interlocutor doesn't understand what you're telling him.

Rule 5

Do not forget . A smile on your face makes it clear to your interlocutor that you are ready to communicate with him.

Rule 6

The next rule is how to be an interesting conversationalist, is that you should use the pronoun "I" as little as possible. Every person is an egoist who likes to be talked about. If you constantly say "I", it will push him away from you on a subconscious level.

Rule 7

Address your conversation partner by name. According to researchers, a person's own name is what he is most pleased to hear.

Rule 8

Your speech should be simple and understandable, this will be regarded by your interlocutor as a sign of respect for him. Even if he is the winner of several scientific awards, he will be more pleased if your speech is understandable and accessible.

Rule 9

If you are not asked - do not give advice and recommendations. If a person does not ask you anything, it only means that he does not need unsolicited advice. If you still try to give them to him, he may regard this as your attempt to put yourself higher and, and this will surely push him away from you.

Hello dear friend!
In today's article, I would like to write about how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl or a man. This article will be useful primarily to those who feel that they have communication problems. After reading this information, I'm just sure that your friends and acquaintances will be much more pleasant to communicate with you.

Have you ever had situations where you communicate with a person, but something is wrong with him. It seems that the communication is going well, but somehow it’s not comfortable inside, and I want to end the communication with him as soon as possible. Such people make many communication mistakes, which I will write about below, and, as a rule, this leads to the fact that they do not have a girlfriend, normal friends, and even a job. They are simply losers in life, primarily due to the fact that they do not know how to communicate correctly.

There are other people with whom, on the contrary, it is very pleasant to talk. They seem to be attracted by a magnet, you want to listen to them and just be with them. Such people are often successful in life. They usually have a girlfriend, many friends and a favorite job. Now I will try to write down the basic rules that you need to apply in order to become an interesting conversationalist.

1) Tell interesting stories.
It is this point that I consider the most important. More than anything, people love to listen to real, interesting stories. And when you tell them, you give your energy to others and do not demand anything from them in return. Learn to simply talk about something interesting that happened to you, or something that struck you. If you learn to tell stories, then your acquaintances, friends, and, of course, beautiful girls will want to be with you all the time.

2) Joke.
When you joke, you give the interlocutor a positive mood. It will be very easy and pleasant to communicate with you then. Look - a person goes to himself and is sad, and then - he meets you, and you cheer him up, and also tell pleasant stories. Do you think this person would want to meet you again? Of course yes. A good joke and a pleasant story are the magnet that will attract others to you.

3) Give compliments.
For each person it is very important what others think of him. This desire for approval is present within each of us. When we walk down the street, we don't give a damn about the people we meet along the way, but we don't give a damn what those people think of us. We want to be seen as smart, beautiful and successful. It was, is and always will be.

If it is so important for the person with whom you communicate that you think well of him, then give him a compliment. Find what stands out in him and tell him about it. A compliment is the most pleasant word for each of us, remember this. Even if he does not react to him in any way, then inside - he will remember you and your warmest word about him for a long time.

4) Listen.
When a story is told to you, be able to listen to it. A person feels when you listen to him, and when you just pretend that you are interested. If he realizes that you don’t give a damn about what you tell him, then believe me, he will no longer want to communicate with you and, moreover, tell something. When the person has finished his story, ask him something else, for example: “What happened next?”, “Why did this happen?”. This will show that you were interested, and you would gladly continue to listen to him further.

5) Don't interrupt.
Very often there is such a situation that a person starts talking about something, and then you remember your story and start telling it. In no case should you do this, this indicates that you do not respect your interlocutor. If you remember any story, then it is very good, but tell it better when your friend stops talking.

6) Don't ask too many questions.
You can ask questions only when there is nothing more to say, or at the end, after the person has finished his story, in order to clarify something with him. In all other cases, questions work poorly. When you ask a question, it is as if you are pulling his energy from a person. He needs to strain his brains and think in order to answer you. And if these questions go one after another, then it's just awful. Remember, the interlocutor is much more comfortable listening to your interesting story than answering stupid questions.

7) Do not criticize.
If a person has done something wrong, you don’t need to say to him: “You are stupid”, “You are bad”. Remember to crave approval. If you criticize the interlocutor in the presence of other people, then he will not want to talk to you, he will simply say to himself: “How I hate you.” If you are one of those people who loves to criticize others very much, then remember, this is one of the reasons why you have so few friends.

8) Do not brag.
Sometimes it is very pleasant to communicate with a person, he tells interesting stories, but all these stories boil down to the fact that he wants to praise himself: “I bought a car”, “I bought a house”, “Look how smart I am”. Just me, me, me! From the outside it looks very funny and, frankly, a little annoying. If you bought yourself a new car, then sooner or later everyone will know about it, but it’s very bad to show off directly.

9) Train your voice.
Sometimes on the Internet you can read this phrase: "It doesn't matter what you say, it's important how you do it." And indeed, when talking, your words mean little, the very voice, look, facial expressions and gestures are very important. You need to train your voice and there are a lot of different exercises on the Internet that will help you improve your speech. About this I.

10) Communicate.
This is a very important point. When you communicate with new people, you will get practice. Believe me, you will never learn how to communicate well near a computer, even if you read 100 books. Yes, you will gain knowledge, but this knowledge means nothing if it is not put into practice. Therefore, right today, try to use at least some of the rules from this article in practice, this is very important.