Sooner or later in the life of each of us there comes an important moment when we have to make one or another choice. And the more serious the problem, the more difficult it is to make the right decision. When the consequences of one step or another can drastically affect the rest of your life, not only your own, but other people, you begin to realize the burden of responsibility and weigh the pros and cons for a long time. It is much easier and easier to make a decision when it concerns only you alone, and a mistake will not change the fate of someone else, especially if they are close and dear people. But the decision will still have to be made, no matter how much we want to avoid it. And what should you do if you cannot decide what to do and where to find support in order to be sure of the correctness of your actions?

What to do?

Any important decision requires time to think. It is good if it is there and you can think about the problem for as long as it takes. In ancient times, the sages, in order to better concentrate, generally retired and carefully considered the options for the consequences of their decisions. But in today's world, time is an unaffordable luxury.

The pace of life is getting faster and, accordingly, decisions have to be made at an accelerated pace. Although it can sometimes be very difficult, in order to make an important decision, you still need to stop and give yourself some time to think about the situation. In order to choose a variant for the further development of events, it is necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of the current situation, look for possible options and how they can end, reject unacceptable decisions and choose those that can have a beneficial effect on your future destiny. All these stages must be passed through while thinking. And a decision made impulsively is often fraught with fatal errors.

When looking for the right solution, you should also rely on your feelings. Sometimes our intuition is stronger than reason and can more accurately indicate which decision to make from several options. However, in this case, you need to be based not on those superficial feelings that you are experiencing at the moment - anger, fear, joy, sadness, but on those deep feelings, the inner voice of which from time to time gives a sign that we have them. You just need to isolate yourself from external stimuli and listen well to your inner world.

If someone has to make a decision that may become fateful in the future, he should do the following manipulations:

• find a quiet secluded place where no one will disturb;
• choose any subject on which you can focus, it is good if it is brilliant;
• sit comfortably and direct your attention to this subject;
• disconnect from the outside world and immerse yourself in your thoughts;
• hear only silence and emptiness that spreads inside;
• after some time, hints of weak feelings will appear, on which you should focus your attention and let them get to the surface of the mind, acquire certain thought forms - this will be the answer of the inner voice to all doubts.

Feelings of inner discomfort

When you understand the direction of movement, you can take responsibility for making decisions, because this will be the only right one.

A very good guideline for this can also be a feeling of inner discomfort, when you feel vague remorse, but do not understand why. Here it is important to ask yourself such questions: “Why am I in this situation? What's the point of this? Why should I make this or that decision? If I can't make a decision, how did I end up in this situation? It is the meaning of what is happening that will help you understand the essence of the problem, and why it is you who are responsible for making the right decision. And understanding the deep meaning of the situation will show the way to the right choice.

Internal doubts

Sometimes internal doubts interfere with making independent decisions, especially if the choice has to be made under the influence of other people or circumstances. It is very important that your decision has matured internally, that you have suffered and chosen from many other options. If the decision was made in a hurry and did not pass through your deep awareness of the problem, then most often it is wrong and will always drag along a trail of doubt and uncertainty about the correctness of the chosen path. And any doubt gives rise to confusion and an unconscious desire for the right choice. Therefore, in order not to have an internal problem, try to find time to think.

How to do so, so as not to radically change the situation?

Think about how to do so that it does not radically change the situation, but remove some internal dissatisfaction with the development of events. There is no need to put pressure on yourself and urge you to quickly make a decision, because fateful decisions cannot be made on the fly, quickly and without deliberation. Even if time is running out, relax and allow yourself to consult with your inner self. This will save you from unpleasant consequences and painful doubts about the correctness of the movement vector.

Unbiased Analysis

When making a decision, you often have to give up something, sacrifice your interests in order to choose an alternative. So that your loss is not so bitter, try to impartially analyze what exactly you are losing and why it is being done. Does the end goal justify these losses and how important are they to you? When you can realize what exactly you will lose and what you will receive in return, the decision may no longer be as painful and difficult as it seemed at first.

To realize the depth of the loss, say something to yourself that you will never do or see again.

Awareness of the need for sacrifice on your part for the sake of a higher goal psychologically sets up a courageous decision to give up some benefits if this choice is vital.

Compare Results

What if you can't make a decision? To be sure of the correctness of the choice, compare the results that would have been obtained with the most unfavorable outcome of the event with those that you have chosen. This will allow you to identify those positive aspects that influenced your decision. Put a beacon on your way to the goal, moving towards which, pay attention to the positive aspects of the decision.

If you are faced with a difficult choice, and you are in doubt how to make the right decision, check out the current methods that have proven their worth around the world.

Choice between extremes

Seeing the world in black and white, we always strive to solve problems based only on the choice - yes or no. Meanwhile, in nature there are many colors and halftones that make the world more beautiful. Similarly, the compromises that can be made in the course of finding a solution can make the choice more varied and less difficult. If we manage to find an acceptable option between yes and no, it can be a great success. Making a choice between the profession of a doctor and a musician, we mistakenly believe that this can only be decided cardinally by choosing one profession to the detriment of the other. But who prevents the doctor from being also a musician in his spare time? And then a doctor is not a life sentence, but just a stage in life. If you realize that this is not your calling, you can change your profession more than once. So why go to extremes, plunging yourself into stress with a decision?

Choice expansion

Try not to make spontaneous decisions and not get hung up on the chosen goal. Consider different options and think them over carefully. Do not act under the influence of other people's opinions - always have your own, because only you know what you want and what your soul aspires to. If you've targeted a specific school for admission and failed the exams, don't fanatically push your goals by trying to get into it every year. Maybe you should not waste precious time and consider other alternatives? Or when buying an apartment, you should not rely on the opinion of a realtor in everything - all his laudatory reviews should be divided by the natural desire to sell this housing. Take note of his information and take time out to think, during which you weigh all the pros and cons of the upcoming purchase.

More information

Before making a decision, try to get as much information about the object of desire. If you are in doubt about choosing electronic equipment or a hairdresser, can not decide on a hotel reservation or choose a university for further education, try to get as much information as possible. You can look at reviews of former clients or applicants, talk to employees of these organizations, look at the work of a hairdresser in person, or study and analyze the characteristics of household appliances in order to make the right decision based on the data already available.

People often ask how to decide to change jobs when in doubt. And in this case, it can be advised not to use only the information of the one who promises you a new job with better conditions. Read the reviews, talk with the employees of the company, whether things are so rosy with them, and then comprehend all the pros and cons of your current work and the one that lies ahead. With this approach, your decision will be correct and balanced.

Exclusion of emotions

Never make sudden decisions under the influence of momentary emotions. Quarreled with his wife - divorce, quarreled with the boss - dismissal, there were frictions with a friend - a gap. These are too important decisions to be made in a hurry. Perhaps, as a result of reflection, you will come to the same conclusion, but you will do it consciously and will be able to do without regrets and torment, whether your spontaneous decision was a big mistake.

To avoid the impact of emotions on decision-making, you should use one of the following methods.

How to avoid the influence of emotions on important life decisions? Adviсe

When it comes to a hasty marriage or an equally impulsive divorce, expensive spending or successful employment, in no case should you be guided by your emotions. For this negatively affects the final results, and you do not always get what you were striving for. But our emotions are very difficult to regulate. How to deal with them? There are several effective ways.

• Ask yourself three questions: "What will my attitude towards this problem be in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years?" For example, if you are in love and are determined to leave your husband for a young promising lover, what will happen in the first time period? Apparently, nothing will change yet, and love euphoria will also rage in your heart - there are no regrets in sight. But after 10 months, the passions will noticeably subside, the relationship will become more prosaic and from all sides they can override the shortcomings of the beloved, previously unnoticed in the heat of passion. And where is the guarantee that the shortcomings of a loved one will not become more annoying than they were with her husband? And if this annoying factor will be present in your life for 10 years, then is it worth changing what you have for such a dubious prospect? The likelihood that flaws will appear is depressingly high, so it should be remembered that ideal people and relationships do not exist in nature.
• Before the upcoming serious choice, take a short pause, take a deep breath and slowly inhale and exhale ten times. Spend ten such cycles, and this will moderate your ardor, will allow you to look at the problem with different eyes.
• Torn between making one decision or another, imagine what the outcome will be if both events develop in an ideal scenario - which result is more preferable for you, and choose that.
• Imagine what you would advise your friend in your case, how to look at your problem with someone else's eyes - you will see a lot of things that you did not notice on your part.
• If time permits, just wait until the problem cools down, and only then make the final decision, because it was not for nothing that the people said that the morning is wiser than the evening.

Conclusion

All this knowledge and techniques are designed to help you make difficult, life-changing decisions. They should give the decision-making process the necessary clarity and clarity, but in no way should they give rise to an illusory feeling of certainty that absolutely all problems lend themselves to the union of reason with analysis. Collect more information and be attentive to current events and people around you, so that your chance of making the right decision is higher.

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their pair the cherished "I love you" never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she, in this case, herself take a step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change the angle of your vision: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

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When we, then to some extent we influence our destiny. And, of course, they are interested in making the choice optimal. That is why it is important to use different tools that will help predict the positive and negative consequences of making a decision.

Why do people make bad decisions?

It's not such a simple question when you think about it. You can, of course, get rid of the banal: "People are stupid." But even smart, talented, experienced people make bad decisions. That's why:

• Lack of time
• Hope for the only source of information
• emotional experiences
• Lots of thoughts about the problem
• Failure to notice alternatives and new opportunities
• Lack of knowledge and clarity
• Underestimating the amount of time it takes to make the right decision
• Reassessment of one's own skills, knowledge, skills and resources
• Fear of making the wrong decision

All these barriers prevent you from making the right decision. And if they work in tandem, trio or quartet, then the situation becomes even worse. How to overcome them?

Practice 360 ​​Degree Thinking

Thoughts affect emotions, emotions affect decisions, and decisions affect actions. And every link in this chain can be optimally tuned.

360-degree thinking consists of three essential components that are methods at the same time. They can be used to effectively analyze the situation, after which it becomes easier to make the right decision.

These are the components:

• A look into the past.
• Foresight.
• Insight.

By applying all three of these thinking methods, you view your life from a 360-degree perspective. That is, they work best together.

A look into the past

A look into the past (aka retrospective analysis) will help you critically evaluate your past. This allows you to comprehensively understand a situation that has already happened in order to improve your future decisions.

It's useful because it helps you learn from mistakes, problems, failures, and past successes. As a result of this learning experience, you can adjust your course of action to move forward much faster.

If you don't know or have never done self-reflection, then this is a very good time. Take time to reflect on the decisions you made yesterday. Ask yourself:

• What did I do yesterday?
• What decisions did I make?
• What problems did you encounter?
• How did I deal with these issues?
• How did I deal with the problems that arose when I ran into a problem?
• How do I feel about this?
• From what other point of view can I look at my yesterday's problems?
• What can I learn from yesterday's experience?
• What could I have done differently?
• What do I need to improve to deal with this problem more effectively next time?

Note that this is not a simple scrolling of negative thoughts (which is what you usually do), but self-reflection. You ask yourself the right questions, give yourself answers, and figure out what you can do better next time. Now you are more aware of what decisions you make and in what state.

From now on, you will begin to relate to your problems and decision-making more consciously, and not on autopilot. Next time there is a great chance to do everything right. In other words, you drew the right conclusions from past experience - this is what all successful people do.

It should be remembered that you should not use the past in order to make decisions in the future. Each situation is unique in its own way. What works today may not work tomorrow. But the process of self-reflection itself is very useful, because it makes you think about your thinking, actions and decisions.

foresight

Foresight is the ability to predict future events, changes, trends and consequences of one's actions. Moreover, it is the ability to explore alternative scenarios that could potentially unfold.

This mindset is useful because it helps you see and predict what might be ahead. Therefore, you will be better able to identify opportunities and much less likely to make mistakes when making decisions.

Foresight works great in tandem with looking to the past. This way you can use the past as a barometer to predict the future and therefore make better decisions.

To develop foresight, you need to learn how to successfully deal with potential threats and identify your needs in advance. This is planning, as well as gathering the necessary resources that will help in the future.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How will this decision affect the future?
• How will this decision affect my future decisions?
• What are the consequences of making this decision?
• What options will I have after making this decision?
• What problems will arise?
• What if everything goes wrong? How will I react?
• What is my plan B and C?
• What happens if...?

Foresight is not an exact science. It's more of a game where you try to combine lessons learned from the past with ideas from the present to make the best decision.

Given these two factors, you can generate possible future scenarios that will help you make better decisions.

Insight

Insight is the ability to discern the true nature of a situation. This is the ability to understand one's situation, as well as cause and effect relationships. In other words, it's about gaining an accurate understanding of the people, events, and circumstances of your life.

Insight is often the catalyst for creativity, innovation, and inspiration. This is what brings out the “Eureka!” moments when all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly come together into something understandable. It's like you've stepped out of a fog and now you're finally seeing things in a whole new way that opens up a world of new possibilities.

However, it is worth saying that the ideas that come to your mind are nothing more than an interpretation of reality based on past experience, as well as perceptions and expectations for the future. In short, real insight only comes when you have mastered the other two ways of thinking.

The best entrepreneurs and politicians in the world have this skill. To master it, you need to read a lot, understand people and be curious. But even this is not enough. You need to learn to understand the patterns of your thinking, get rid of cognitive distortions, be in a conscious state and see the essence of things. In a sense, it is about intuition.

Start by becoming more observant of what is going on around and within you. Notice the world around you and ask deep questions about yourself, others, and the circumstances in which you find yourself. For example:

• Why do I do what I do? What does it matter to me?
• What do others need? Why is it important to them?
• What's happening? Why is this happening? What does it mean?
• What is the problem? How did it become a problem? Why is it still a problem?
• Why are the circumstances the way they are and not others?
• How did it happen and why does it matter?
• What is the value of knowing this? How does this knowledge change my point of view?
• What is another way to look at this situation? Why is it important?
• Why did this happen? What led to this? What happened before? Is there a connection?
• How are these two events related? Why are they connected in this way?
• How was it done? Who did this? Could it be otherwise?

If you start asking these and similar questions, you will become very attentive and observant. Tyrion Lannister, if you will, who often asked himself what others needed and carefully analyzed the events of his life and the world around him.

You will learn to understand why things are the way they are and that they could potentially be different. In fact, you cease to be a passive observer. As a result, you begin to think critically about yourself, about others, and about the circumstances with which you are dealing. All this stimulates the emergence of deeper thoughts, allowing you to draw conclusions and situations that you have never considered before. It opens up new levels of understanding.

There are situations when the solution lies on the surface, you just need to lend a hand. Others are complex and consist of many factors. To make the right decision, you need to use 360-degree thinking, considering the problem from all sides. It will not work right away, but certain results will be visible after the first application of this technique.

Practice Step by Step Decision Making

Step One: Get Clear Clarity About What You Want

Your first step is to clearly understand your desired outcome and identify the resources needed to achieve that outcome. Ask yourself:

• What is my desired result?
• What specifically would I like to achieve?
• What might be required to achieve this result?
• How should I prioritize my efforts?

Understanding what result you want to achieve is important because it (understanding) helps to direct all efforts towards achieving one goal. Then you can make better decisions.

Step Two: Take Action to Achieve Your Desired Result

When you don't quite understand how to get to your desired destination, it's easy to panic. However, what matters is that you take the first step.

You only need to take one step, which will move you a little closer to the desired result. There is probably still a lot of fog ahead, but it is clear that this action is necessary. For example, if you're looking to buy a car and are completely overwhelmed by the number of options, the first step might be to read specialized car forums. By learning to understand the topic, you can make a more informed decision.

In any complex decision, there are always several actions to start with. At some point, you will move forward and the next steps will become more obvious.

Step Three: Track Your Results

You must always be vigilant about what works and what doesn't work. There is no reason to waste precious time on inefficient tools.

However, to start measuring progress, you need to understand what exactly you will measure. Ask yourself the following questions:

• How do I know that I'm moving in the right direction?
• How exactly will I measure my progress?
• How will I know that I have reached my goal?

The more clarity about where you are at, the better the solution.

Step Four: Stay Flexible When Making Decisions

The action plan will always be reworked, because it is impossible to predict all the factors in this absurd world. Therefore, you must be flexible in your decisions and actions at all times. Keep your long-term goals in mind at all times and everywhere to stay on track.

Ask yourself:

• What results do I want to achieve?
• What am I doing now?
• Does my current action bring me closer to results?
• Is this the best way to do it?
• What should I change to get better results?

Don't freak out if things don't go as planned. This is fine. Find out why you veered off course, be curious, not annoyed. With the curiosity of a scientist, ask yourself questions and look for optimal solutions.

Complete decision making process

The previous paragraph was rather preparatory and theoretical. Here we will talk about the full decision-making process. It will require much more time, which means that it needs to be used if the problem you are facing is really important.

Step One: Get Clarity

Let's first understand the importance of the decision you are about to make. Ask yourself:

• What are the options?
• What is the ideal decision I should make?
• Why is this decision so important?
• How will it help me?
• How important is this decision for my loved ones?
• Can it change my life?
• Do other people understand the importance of this decision?

It is important to clearly understand the importance of the decision you are about to make, because it will help determine how much effort and time you will put in.

Step Two: Gather the Facts and Explore the Options

Sometimes the decision requires the collection of a large amount of information. And, if it is important to you, then you need to allocate enough time for this.

Once you've gathered all the information you need, take the time to consider possible ways forward. Ask yourself:

• What decision can I make?
• What actions can I take?
• What options are there?
• What will I need?

For one decision, you may need money, help from other people, and a lot of time. For others, it takes a lot of work and patience. What will be best for you?

It's time to look at the pros and cons of each solution. Ask yourself:

• What are the benefits of this course of action?
• What are the disadvantages?
• What are the advantages of one option over the other?

As you ask yourself these questions, think about the sacrifices you will have to make in the first and second cases. They may not be obvious: sometimes you can ruin relationships with others by making a decision that does not affect them.

It all basically comes down to opportunity cost. By taking one course of action, you may not be able to take another, and there may be advantages and disadvantages to different options.

Step Four: Determine the Worst Case

Remember Murphy's Law: "If something bad can happen, it will happen." Take it into account whenever you make a decision.

Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen if I make this decision. How do I deal with the consequences?"

Of course, the worst-case scenario may not always happen. But you need to be ready for it. At least psychologically. After weighing all the pros and cons, finding out what the worst-case scenarios are waiting for you, make a decision. But remember that it must be flexible: if something goes wrong, you can quickly rebuild and update your plan of action.

Step Five: Learn From Your Experience

You have made a decision and now you are either reaping the rewards of your efforts or regretting your mistakes. Either way, it's all an experience to be appreciated. Ask yourself:

• What have I learned from this experience?
• What have I learned from how I make decisions?
• Was this decision in complete harmony with my personality and my values?
• Have I achieved the desired result?
• Did I adjust my actions when I ran into problems?

There are many questions you could ask yourself. So please don't limit yourself to just these. Think of others you could ask, especially after mistakes, defeats, or failures.

We wish you good luck!

Throughout their conscious life, each person makes many decisions. Every day he faces a choice of how to act correctly in any situation, what to buy in a store, where to go to study or work, what to wear to a responsible or not so important event, how to distribute his finances. Decision making is often accompanied by stress, which is known to negatively affect our psyche. How to make a decision to minimize negative consequences?

"Debriefing" on the simplest example

The longer we hesitate, not knowing how to make the right decision, the more negative emotions we experience, the faster we lose the ability to correctly and quickly choose the right option.

It's good, of course, to think about the past and analyze your actions already committed. But when, say, we occupy our thoughts for a week with only one issue that is related to making a decision, this is no longer good, but harmful. The more we think, the more solutions pop up in our heads. If each of these options is not bad, we cease to perceive the task adequately, because we are in a suspended state that does not allow us to look at things soberly. There is no right decision here.

Psychologists have developed a set of rules that will make it easier to make a decision, regardless of the nature of the issue. Whether you are thinking about what to wear to a party or deciding whether to continue dating a man or better break up with him, in any case, take these rules into account.

to the title to the title

Do not rely only on yourself

When making a difficult decision, discuss it with loved ones. There is a good chance that you will get good advice from them. This is first. Secondly, a problem that has been voiced several times ceases to be a problem, but takes on a clear outline of a situation from which there are at least two ways out. But we want to warn you: do not cross the line and do not ask for advice from everyone around you. Trust only those closest to you. After all, everyone can advise, but there will be no sense from this - an abundance of advice, especially from strangers who are unfamiliar with your situation, will simply confuse you.

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Do not decide from a moment of emotional stress

Postpone making any decision until the time when you are no longer overwhelmed with emotions and feelings. They do not affect the correctness of the decision in the best way. If you take it at a moment of emotional stress, the consequences may not be desirable. Wait until everything boils inside you, take a sober look at the situation and try to make the right decision.

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think about it tomorrow

Remember how the unforgettable Scarlett O'Hara from the novel "Gone with the Wind" said? Right: "I'll think about it tomorrow." And it is not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening. Psychologists are sure: our subconscious mind knows the answers to all questions. During the day, the brain is overloaded with information, it cannot decipher the signals sent by the subconscious. Therefore, do not make an important decision during the day or in the evening. It is better to ask yourself a question that worries you before going to bed, it is quite possible that in the morning you will already know what to do. In such a case, it is recommended to put a sheet of paper and a pen or a voice recorder on the bedside table near the bed. The solution to the problem may come to you even when you are half asleep, and it will need to be fixed so as not to forget.

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No matter how much sensible advice you are given, remember that you must make the decision yourself. After all, this is your life, you should not trust even very close people to manage it. After all, each person, regarding the situation, proceeds from his own considerations. What suits this person may not suit you. Consider opinions from the outside, but without fanaticism.

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Listen to your heart and trust your intuition

Remember the anecdote when an inner voice said to an avid gambler who staked his entire fortune: “God, how wrong I was!”. The inner voice is often wrong, so you need to trust either your body or your intuition (everyone is different). One man, signing an important contract, felt an unpleasant tingling in his chest. The contract, as it turned out later, was unprofitable. Another felt a headache, the third - a slight dizziness. All these are the signals that the body sends us, and this is his request to delay the decision. In this case, we call intuition not an inner voice that can make mistakes, but clues from the outside world - peculiar signs. Phrases dropped by someone in our presence, posters, objects, signs, and so on. Often the world around us helps to ensure that our thoughts are concentrated in the right direction. The main thing is to notice the signs sent by fate.

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Do not repeat steps

Many people, when making decisions, are guided by analogies: this, they say, has already happened before, it was necessary to do this and that, and that's what we will do now. Of course, experience is good, and it also needs to be connected when making an important decision. But do not forget that life is not a swamp, but a river, which, as you know, cannot be entered twice. Try to find a new way to solve the problem.

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Consider and plan for the future

There are decisions that affect our future. And there are those who can radically change our life path. These are very important decisions, making which you need to consider all possible options. So, a change of residence may make you lonely, and leaving work will deprive you of career opportunities.

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Positive thoughts help

Popular psychology books related to positive thinking are of great interest to readers. If you have heard about the methods of N. Pravdina, A. Sviyash, V. Levy, N. Kozlov, then you know that any of our desires materialize and come true. Dreams turn into reality. Therefore, when making a decision, it is better to present a positive picture of fulfilled desires. This helps not only to make the right decision, but also not to go astray. Is it hard to end a relationship with a married man? Do not think about loneliness, but imagine yourself free and dream of meeting with great love. Can't eat after six? Imagine how your figure becomes perfect. Are you afraid to leave a low-paid and unloved job? Save money as a financial cushion and look for a new activity. Imagine how happy you will be in doing what you love.

Every day we have to face the need to make all kinds of decisions. From simple to incredibly complex and important: brushing or not brushing your teeth, drinking tea or coffee, starting a business or staying in a paid job, getting a divorce or saving a marriage. It is not yet known which of them is more difficult. Kidding. But it would really be worthwhile to figure out what a decision is in general, what they are, what is needed to make important decisions and what to do with the already made one. About everything in order.

What is an important decision.

So what is a solution anyway. I did not find a more or less intelligible and understandable definition on the net, so I will try to give my own.

A decision is primarily a set of thoughts, a set of ideas, concepts, a final understanding of an issue or a problem, the result that we get in the process of making a decision.

In other words, what remains with us in the bottom line, which gives us a sense of completeness and confidence, an understanding of further actions.

Although not always. It is worth noting that sometimes, having made a decision, we continue to doubt its correctness. This can happen for several reasons.

• We initially take it as an axiom that there can be only one correct or ideal solution.
• Because of the contradiction of the decision made with our values.
• We hurried and in the light of new facts, our decision no longer looks so convincing.

What are the solutions

According to the degree of influence on our lives, I would divide them into two categories: Ordinary and Daring.

Ordinary are decisions that do not carry any challenge either externally (for other people) or internally (for ourselves). This does not mean that these decisions are not important or easy to make, we just do not put much sense into them, they mean nothing to us, but, as usual, we want to make the right choice.

For example, a girl decides what color to buy a blouse or a couple decides whether to get a pet.

daring- these are decisions regarding what is really important for us in life, such decisions, as a rule, are ambitious, with a challenge. It doesn't matter who the challenge is to yourself, partner, boss, or society. Bold decisions carry a special message, have a deep meaning for us and can have an impact on our life as a whole.

For example, an employee decides whether to open a business for him, a couple decides to adopt a child, an elderly man after two unsuccessful marriages decides whether to try again.

What makes our decision bold is the meaning we put into it and how important it is for us to accept and implement it. How far can it take us outside of our comfort zone, how much will it affect our lives, and maybe even affect someone else's?

Decision-making.

Decision making is the process of thinking about possible scenarios for the development of events and moving from thoughts about actions possible, desired or expected to actions that are real and concrete. In the process of making a decision, we think about what we would like, calculate possible options, and make assumptions about a possible result.

The decision made is characterized by the performance of a specific action.

For example, when deciding to drink a cup of tea or coffee in the morning, a specific action that completes the process of transition from “Probably I would like tea today” or “The best solution for me today would be a cup of fragrant and healthy tea” will be tossing the leaves into a cup and pouring them boiling water.

Subtle nuances in making important decisions.

Change is inevitable. Whether we like it or not.

Yes, most do not like change, even if it is positive. This is one of the protective properties of our brain. But, at the same time, his biggest trap.

It seems to us that without making an important decision, we leave everything as it is, in the old way and without changes. Even partly giving up our right to make important decisions in our lives, we give up part of this life itself, allowing it to happen to us.

It can be difficult to make an ordinary decision, and making an important decision is even more difficult. We try to predict possible losses and gains, we are considering options. We turn to ourselves, to relatives and friends for advice, or simply to think long evenings. We look to the future with anxiety and hope. After all, our future often depends on whether we make a decision or not, will we consider it correct after many years, will it bring happiness, joy and success?

The truth is that when we don't make a decision, we say "no" to it, but at the same time, we say "yes" to something else. This rule applies in any situation, when making absolutely any ordinary or daring decision. Even when you think, “I won’t make this decision now,” you are already make a decision postpone its adoption

For example:

• when choosing whether to drink tea or coffee, we say “yes” to tea and “no” to coffee;
• when we decide to leave a job we hate and do what we love, we say yes to our courage and adventure, and no to the prospect of remaining mediocre;
• by continuing to eat junk food, we say "yes" to diseases, a loose body and say "no" to health, energy, vitality;
• making a decision in adulthood to arrange a personal life, we say “yes” to love and happiness in our lives, and “no” to loneliness and self-pity;
• when we decide not to trust the world, we say yes to suspicion, loneliness and anxiety, and no to happiness, love, support.

Solution Implementation

The next stage after making a decision is the implementation of an important decision.

If the adoption of a simple decision requires nothing but decisiveness from us, then for an important and daring decision, new actions, deeds and new thinking are required from us. And this, in turn, is associated with a significant departure from our comfort zone.

Even having made an important decision in life, we do not know what exactly to do next, how exactly to do it, where to start, how exactly we need to change our thinking. And all this makes our brain succumb to panic, gives rise to doubts that we will be able to independently implement our daring decision, we are afraid that we will not be able to cope and let ourselves down, the team, our family.

Yes, the path of realization is hidden from us, we do not see it in its entirety. All we see is the beginning of the path and its end point, well, sometimes we see separate fragments that are not connected to each other. But in fact, there is not a single person on earth who would see completely and completely, clearly and clearly the whole path of implementing his decision. This just doesn't happen.

If we have enough experience, all we can do is to assume with a high probability how events will develop, where our success curve will turn, where the boulder will lie, where the impenetrable forest, and where the robber lies in wait. But until we reach the obstacle, we will not know how insurmountable it is. Perhaps there is a secret hidden in it that needs to be unraveled. Or we will suddenly meet a guide who is able to help us unravel all the secrets faster.

When there is not enough experience, there are doubts, fears, insecurities, then it will be a bold decision to start gaining this experience, to face your fears face to face, to gain confidence through concrete actions and deeds.

Changes are still happening and will continue to happen in our lives. We can either accept this fact and begin to influence our lives on our own, consciously making all the important decisions in life, implementing them no matter how bold and ambitious they may seem. Or let life happen to us.