Do you experience anxiety and fear before communicating with a stranger? The fear of such communication arises in most people. Basically, this occurs when you communicate with high-ranking people who are self-confident and relaxed in communication. Fear of communication is one of the most common phobias.
If you are a confident interlocutor, then this article is not for you. But if you know the fear of communication, when the right words just disappear from your head, then reading this article will do you good.

Let's look at how you can overcome the fear of communication and become a more confident and interesting conversationalist.

1. A big delusion when you disguise the fear of communication as modesty and shyness. These are slightly different things and should not be confused. To be successful in this business, you need to overcome the barriers of modesty and start the conversation first. It may be superficial conversations about nothing at first, but over time you will be able to have deeper conversations. Understand for yourself that only in this way, overcoming modesty and shyness, you can overcome fear and communicate freely without obstacles.

2. Get rid of the habit of thinking about what the other person thinks of you. Very often you can hear such words: “What can he think of me, that I am too intrusive or that the conversation may seem boring and boring to him.” But you cannot know exactly what your interlocutor thinks of you. To read each other's thoughts is not yet given to man. And what difference does it make what he thinks of you, if he doesn’t voice it anyway. Many people don't bother to think about you or others at all. People's heads are filled with many other thoughts and they don't care about you. So, stop thinking during a conversation what your interlocutor is thinking. In fact, you will never know what the other person might really think of you. Immerse yourself in thoughts better in conversation.

3. If, as a fight against the fear of communication, you have chosen a job where there is a lot of communication with different people, then it is better to immediately quit such a job. Trust me, it won't do you any good. Professional communication in a business environment is not a place where you can train your communication skills. To do this, you will need a different environment, more natural, conducive to free communication. And with such harsh methods, you will simply cause stress in yourself and create even more fear of communication. Therefore, do not go for such radical methods, communicate more live in ordinary everyday life.

4. Choose simple and natural conditions to overcome the fear of communication. Try to hone your communication skills every day. In your ordinary life, you can certainly find many cases when you can chat with strangers. There are situations, events that require you to communicate and find compromises that can only be achieved by communicating more and more often. Use any suitable moment to communicate, in the store and in the bank, at the bus stop and in transport, on a trip. But you should have a goal to talk and start a conversation, this will not happen on its own. You need to learn not only how to keep a conversation going when you are spoken to, but also how to be the first to carry on a conversation. It will not turn out right away, but you should not give up, you must continue on. The ability to conduct a conversation and communicate freely needs to be honed day by day. Over time, without effort and fear, you will be able to communicate with those with whom you want. Such training will teach you the art of real communication, and bring it to automatism.

5. You can easily carry on conversations if you are cheerful. Seriousness and efficiency only scare people away. Joke more, have fun, smile more. Very quickly, fear and tension are removed by laughter. You just have to laugh heartily together, as fear and embarrassment will no longer arise.

6. Don't take to heart all the conversations that didn't go the way you expected. Or you thought you had a terrible conversation. Even if that's the case, so what? You have not lost anything, your life goes on. Do not take this as a mistake and a reason to quit practicing communication. On the contrary, you should consider past failures in future conversations. That's how they learn. Don't dwell on bad experiences. Take it lightly, without being too serious.

7. And the last recommendation, do not look too closely at this complex. Don't think about it all the time, just live a full life and exercise in between. Communicate simply and naturally, without thinking that at this very moment you are overcoming your fear. Let go of such thoughts during the conversation. Take it easy on this issue. This is only at first, you will feel uncomfortable when communicating with strangers, but it will take some time and you will get used to the new skill.

It is important to understand that all people have certain complexes and weaknesses. Therefore, if your interlocutor is a self-confident person, just remember that he also has his weaknesses. And for sure, there is an area in which you are more competent. Don't get lost or feel weak in his presence. In fact, your interlocutor is also constrained by new communication and feels the same awkwardness and embarrassment. Therefore, consider this and start communicating freely and joyfully, enjoying it.

Each of us is in human society, and every day we have to communicate with someone. This communication takes place everywhere: on the street, on the phone, in public transport, in the store, at work, at home. A person cannot live without communicating with other people. With the help of communication, we solve a lot of business and domestic issues, we develop ourselves, our life is rich and interesting. What then is the reason for the emergence of fear of communication?

As my practice shows, the fear of communication at different periods of life and to one degree or another occurs in any person. Remember, weren't you ever shy when you needed to speak to a self-confident and flamboyant personality? Think, have you ever been embarrassed? Has communication always been easy and confident for you? I am sure that everyone can remember a time when he became afraid to start a conversation with a person whom you saw for the first time.

I am sure that the fear of other people often becomes a hindrance to your development as a person, prevents you from achieving success in the professional and personal spheres. Let's try to consider in general terms what is the reason that there is a fear of people.

1. My practice shows that the phenomenon of fear of communication is more often manifested in those people who have already encountered negative situations, that is, those who have a negative experience of communication. For example, a young man at school was offended by classmates, they made fun of him. This can be the reason that, as an adult, he acquires a fear of communicating with others, since any communication begins to be associated with mental suffering and discomfort.

2. I am sure that fear of communication often arises in connection with self-esteem and confidence. It happens that a person often has to deal with misunderstanding and criticism, which causes uncertainty. He starts shutting himself off from people because he thinks he's different from everyone else.

3. In my practice, I often encountered such a phenomenon as a person's lack of experience in social interactions, which also leads to fear of people. When a person avoids the company of people, he, naturally, cannot learn to communicate with them, since he does not have the practice of communication. I am sure that you can learn effective communication only with constant training.

Patients often ask me how to overcome their fear of people. I believe that very often fear becomes a way for a person to protect himself from the negative consequences that, in the opinion of this patient, may appear in certain situations. This fear is a blocker of a person's actions, that is, he is afraid to do something that will then look funny, worry or suffer.

I often asked patients why they do not want to act, why are they afraid of communication?

I am sure that the answer lies in your subconscious, littered with beliefs that are built on denials directed against you. This subconscious mind whispers to you that it is better to remain silent than to say something inappropriately. Okay, you say something wrong, and what happens in this case? Let's think, try to find out what is so terrible that can happen if you make mistakes when communicating, and about what positive experience you can get if you still communicate with the person with whom communication causes you difficulties.

How to deal with these fears?

1. The basis of this struggle is for you to understand that your fears are not based on a real threat, but are nurtured by you and are based on an internal negative belief about yourself. That is, you cultivate a fear of people in yourself.

I always suggest orchestrating this situation: a person who is confident in himself communicates with you, and you have fear. Try to remember what thoughts you have at this moment. If you manage to remember, then you will understand that in this mise en scene your fear has a mediocre role, and your thoughts, your attitude to your behavior and to the possible negative consequences of this communication come to the fore.

Then I advise you to look at a similar situation from the outside, feeling like a spectator at a small performance where the main role belongs to you. You need to consider the events taking place very carefully, think about whether this is really so scary or perhaps this is some kind of absurdity, giving you the opportunity to move on confidently and calmly.

2. The next method of dealing with the fears of communication, which I use in practice, is the need for your direct look in the face of your fears, understanding their essence, accepting this information in order to start working with it. You should admit to yourself that the cause of your difficulties lies not in abstract fear, but in the false negative beliefs about yourself that many people have. I am convinced that you must accept this fact, otherwise you will ruin your life. Make a promise to yourself that you will do everything possible to figure out how to overcome your fear of people. Then these fears will remain in the past and will never disturb you again.

3. The third method, which, in my opinion, is extremely important, is the beginning of work on yourself. If you want to be successful, you must take action.

I suggest you try the so-called amplification technique "+" and "-".

To do this, you need to write down in a column on a blank sheet of paper the entire list of torments that you experience when communicating with people.

For example, I am not interesting as an interlocutor; I am not worthy of him paying attention to me; I am inferior compared to him; I am deficient in relation to him and so on.

Now take another sheet of paper and write down the counterarguments for each negative statement.

For example, I have good interlocutor qualities; I deserve to be paid attention to by every person; I am an interesting person; I am an absolutely complete person and so on.

The list should be long enough. After that, I recommend you the first list containing negative statements that prevent you from living, improving, achieving goals, communicating, destroying without mercy and mentally imagining that with this list all beliefs that oppress you disappear. And in their place will come new beliefs that you wrote down on another piece of paper. It should be hung in a conspicuous place and constantly re-read.

This is a good technique for overcoming fear of people.

The main thing that I advise all my clients is to stop being afraid and just start communicating.

And a few more of my tips!

Scroll through the communication situation first in your imagination, set yourself and your subconscious mind for a positive outcome until it becomes your habit.

Practice in front of the mirror, every day for 15 minutes. The cycle should be 21 days, during which the habit will form. Your reflection should become a self-confident person.

Communicate easily, simply, interestingly, with the fixation of your behavior by consciousness, smile, be internally calm.

How to get rid of feelings of fear: a useful article about the most common fears.

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Dmitry Vsevolodovich

The fear of interacting with people is called social phobia. In the presence of this violation, a person in some cases cannot communicate with people at all, and in other circumstances he experiences pronounced discomfort only with new acquaintances. This condition necessarily requires correction, since it greatly complicates people's lives.

Problems in communication can prevent a person from socializing, finding their place in society, occupying a certain niche. Achieving financial independence and career success will also be problematic. Fear of communication is a complexity that requires attention. If you just close your eyes to the problem, it will never be solved by itself. Only by making an effort, you can really achieve a satisfactory result.

It is common for most people to experience some excitement when speaking in public, and this is completely normal. It is important to constantly work on yourself in order to overcome the fear of communicating with people. In the case when significant efforts are made to get rid of a phobia, positive dynamics are also noted over time. It is only important not to get hung up on the problem, but to look for possible ways to solve it.

Manifestations

Social phobia has several symptoms. These manifestations cannot go unnoticed and therefore, as a rule, are striking. What should you pay attention to? What behaviors should be noticed as early as possible?

Feeling of alienation

Social phobia is often expressed in the so-called feeling of alienation. Such a person everywhere feels unnecessary, superfluous and alien. He does not understand that his own attitude towards himself spoils everything. The feeling of alienation reinforces the feeling of worthlessness in a person, and it has a very negative effect on the development of the personality. Subsequently, it will be very difficult to cope with constantly arising fears, overcome shyness and a sense of hopelessness.

In fact, if people began to be attentive to themselves, then many problems could be avoided. The feeling of uselessness leads to the fact that gradually a person begins to reject himself, does not allow himself to open up in deeds and activities that are of particular importance to him.

shyness

The fear of interacting with people leads to the formation of an extreme degree of shyness. Such a person usually keeps silent, tries not to draw attention to himself, is afraid to give his own voice once again. The phobia only gets worse over time. That is why it is so important to address the problem as soon as it becomes apparent. Difficulties in communication do not allow a person to build relationships, make new acquaintances, and achieve their goals. Shyness always goes hand in hand with low self-esteem.

incoherent speech

Fear in communication becomes visible and noticeable when a person tries to speak out loud in front of someone. He often answers inappropriately, does not know how to behave in society. Incoherent speech, stuttering lowers self-esteem to an even lower level. Sometimes it seems to him that other people do not show interest in him, which is why he closes in on himself even more. Incoherent speech occurs only because of the great emotional stress, the inability to independently build a dialogue, find common topics for a joint conversation.

Inappropriate reaction

It lies in the fact that a person does not quite adequately respond to ongoing events. From the outside it may seem that a person is overly receptive, vulnerable and touchy. In fact, there is a place to be emotional instability. On this basis, there is a high probability of resentment from scratch.

A person who is afraid to communicate constantly thinks that others are talking about him, laughing at his mistakes and failures. This kind of phobia causes a person to avoid close interaction, new contacts that could be useful.

Causes

Certain reasons are necessary for the development of social phobia. Nothing just happens for no apparent reason. Most often, the fear of communicating with people is formed under the influence of one or more provoking factors.

If, in the process of individual development, a person constantly hears insulting statements or reproaches addressed to him, then there is a great risk of really believing in his own stupidity and failure. Simply because the criticism is repeated so many times, there is no opportunity to refute the negative opinion from the outside.

Considering the question of how not to be afraid of the criticism of others, you must begin to take into account your own opinion. The more a person believes in himself, the more stable his psyche will be. Criticism will not affect you when you are firmly convinced that you are right, respect yourself and approve. Only an eternally insecure person allows others to manipulate him and believes that he is not worthy of any benefits.

Peer ridicule

Individuals who have experienced the negative attitude of others in the past will undoubtedly find it difficult to build a trusting sincere relationship with anyone. And the point here is not at all that people come across bad. The problem lies precisely in the inability to appreciate one's own personality, to open up to meet one's desires.

Peer ridicule, especially in the tender adolescence, can ruin anyone's life. As a result, people stop believing in their own prospects, do not notice opportunities, do not appreciate their own personality.

Bad experience

Any negative experience in the past can cross out a good attitude towards yourself and people. Even after many years, past events affect our present. A person who has been bullied before will never again be able to communicate so serenely. He will constantly expect a catch, think that a new friend, for example, will definitely betray him. Unfortunately, such a worldview greatly affects the quality of social interaction, prevents the individual from feeling needed and in demand.

Ways to overcome

How to stop being afraid of social interaction? Are there really effective methods to deal with manifestations of uncontrollable fear and extreme self-doubt?

Nothing helps to cope with shyness and fear of communication like public speaking. For a closed person, such an event may seem like a real torture, but it is necessary to go through it. Overcoming a difficult obstacle will give you strength, make you feel confident in yourself. Self-esteem and significance will come later. Public speaking, when a large audience of people is listening to you, will allow you to cope with despair, will give strength to further fight against shyness.

self acceptance

Fear of communication is incredibly shackling. A person cannot feel truly significant and accepted by others in such conditions. It always seems to him that people laugh at him or intentionally want to offend him. Self-acceptance begins with a conscious intention to make your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. As soon as a person ceases to be afraid of some mythical danger, it leaves his life. The tension subsides, because it's scary exactly as long as you hide.

Personal development

The desire to adapt to other people in everything is a dead end path. It does not lead anywhere and certainly does not help to make new acquaintances. Building relationships with people is always difficult, but this is not a reason not to even start trying. When thinking about how to get rid of social phobia, one should take into account the fact that until you understand the value of your own personality, nothing will really work. By accepting your strengths and weaknesses, you can develop, make plans and strive to implement them. When a person finds support within himself, he becomes spiritually strong and invincible.

Thus, social phobia is a serious problem that prevents a person from developing, implementing existing plans, and noticing new opportunities. Getting rid of the fear of communication is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. It is necessary to make significant efforts in order to love yourself, to recognize the right to make mistakes.

Communication is life. Wherever a person is, in whatever state he is, he tends to communicate with relatives, friends, colleagues and even strangers. But some people experience psychological discomfort from any contact with others. This is how the fear of communicating with people manifests itself.

Social phobia - fear of interacting with people

In psychology, the fear of communication is called social phobia. It has a large number of varieties, knowledge of which will help overcome the signs of a phobia.

Why are people afraid to interact with others?

Social phobia is the fear of communicative influence. The contact itself, which causes a feeling of panic and anxiety in the patient, may have a different character. It is difficult for some patients to talk with unfamiliar people, for others it is difficult to get acquainted with girls (guys). Some people completely avoid any contact with relatives, friends and colleagues. They are afraid of everyone around them, close in on themselves and become prisoners of their own home, which they consider the safest place.

Depending on the type of social phobia, the fear of communication can have various reasons for its occurrence. According to psychologists, the most common causes of social phobia lie in childhood experiences and resentment. Self-doubt and shyness are direct signs that indicate the presence of a phobia. Fear can arise from the desire to communicate with peers who do not want to let a new person into their social circle. And also the reason may be excessive criticism from parents.

The appearance of a problem in adulthood is also possible. More often, such a phobia is experienced by individuals who have experienced certain traumatic events or those people who, due to some circumstances, are forced to communicate little with others. Both women and men can become hostages of social phobia. Signs of fear are found in young mothers on maternity leave, housewives, pensioners, etc. Patients lack communicative interaction, which is why the fear of communication develops.

Varieties of fear

An obsessive desire not to communicate with others is the first sign that a person suffers from social phobia. But the very contact with people, which a person is so afraid of, can be different. Fear of communication can have the following varieties:

1. Fear of contact with strangers. Such people can talk for hours with their loved ones, friends and colleagues, but feel insecure and uncomfortable when talking to strangers.
2. Fear of contact with the opposite sex. Such a phobia is based on a complex personality. Boys and girls are embarrassed to meet and communicate with representatives of the opposite sex, more often because of the failures experienced on the “love front”.
3. Fear of communication with peers. This kind of phobia is rare in an outgoing child or teenager. Patients are often shy, because of which they can become outcasts in the team.
4. Fear of speaking. Public speaking is the most common type of phobia. Such a problem may arise at school due to failures in speaking at the blackboard, at concerts, etc.
5. Fear of telephone conversations. Not having eye contact with people, but hearing their voice, some individuals experience an obsessive sense of anxiety.

A phobia can also be expressed by the fear of communicating with high-ranking people in society. Those people who have a certain authority in a social group become the main psychological enemy of a person. This phobia is one of the most common.

Fear of speaking is the most common form of social phobia.

Signs of social phobia

Fear of communication is expressed by a variety of symptoms of a physical, psychological and behavioral nature. Depending on the strength of the fear, a person may experience feelings of anxiety or suffer from a panic attack. In addition, the following symptoms of a phobia are common:

• increased heart rate;
• sensation of a lump in the throat;
• problems with speech (trembling in the voice, stuttering, etc.);
• muscle tension;
• increased sweating;
• dizziness and headache.

And also often the patient experiences problems with the gastrointestinal tract. He may experience nausea or spasms in the intestines.

Depending on the degree of fear, the patient may experience one or more symptoms at the same time. The stronger the signs are expressed, the more difficult it is for a person to contact people.

In adults

The manifestation of social phobia in adulthood can have a different character. Often the patient avoids unwanted contacts with friends, relatives, colleagues or strangers. Face to face with people, the patient experiences fear, which predetermines the appearance of physical, behavioral and psychological symptoms.

An individual can fearfully walk away from the conversation, finding a safe place for himself at home, behind the workplace, etc. But if it is not possible to escape from fear, as well as overcome it, the patient is swallowed up by a feeling of panic. Due to the beginning of a conversation with an opponent, his mind becomes clouded. The patient cannot think rationally and conduct a dialogue correctly. Such events can cause misunderstanding in the interlocutor.

In children

Fear of communication in children is an even more common problem. The fact is that improper upbringing of a child can cause problems in adolescence, during puberty. Outwardly changing young men and women create complexes for themselves, which it will be very difficult to overcome on their own in the future.

But, most often, social phobia originates at school, when the child enters a new social group unfamiliar to him. Problems with psychological adaptation occur in more than 50% of all students, but only a few seek help from a psychologist. The result of the inaction of the child himself, his parents and teachers can be:

• student's reluctance to go to school;
• lack of desire to communicate with peers;
• fear of contact with the teacher;
• refusal to speak in public (at the blackboard).

Such a phobia arises from the fear of strangers, communication with them and a certain creation of a new social role.

Problems in communication with peers, answers at the blackboard, conversations with a teacher, etc., are a reaction to the student's poor adaptation, his fear of doing something that he will later regret, having experienced a sense of shame.

A student may be afraid of a change in his social role or a decline in his authority among classmates.

Fear of the teacher and reluctance to go to school are the consequences of an untreated disorder

Treatment of fear of communication with people

It is important to get rid of the obsessive fear of communicating with others, because such a problem prevents the patient from living a normal life. It is impossible to live in fear all the time. Therefore, it is important to figure out how to overcome the fear of communicating with people. Psychologists advise:

1. During a conversation, you should focus not on the interlocutor and fear of him, but on the dialogue itself.
2. Learn to listen to the interlocutor, avoiding your own eloquence. Besides, you don't have to do anything. A grateful listener is the value of modern society.
3. Practice your own communication skill daily with strangers. A simple question from a saleswoman in a store, a person standing in line, etc. is enough.
4. Learn to make eye contact when speaking.
5. Stop taking any statements of others to heart. All fears are formed in the mental activity of the patient.

You can also make the first attempts by phone or via the Internet connection. You can get rid of fear by the method of correspondence. But the voice conversation itself should be the next step in overcoming the phobia.

Conclusion

Not all people are sociable. Some are afraid of the interlocutor. It is important to learn how to get rid of the signs of such a problem, to control yourself in order to feel all the delights of life in society.

How to overcome the fear of communication? There is only one way out - you need to rationalize your thoughts and gradually work out the skills of live communication.

There should be no problems with such methods, because we live in the era of Internet technologies that can be used for the benefit of your mental health.

Anthropophobia is the fear of communicating with strangers, an obsessive condition in which the anthropophobe tries to avoid crowded places.

Anthropophobia is frightened by public transport and shops, because it does not let go of the feeling that everyone is looking only at him. Such people do not go to parties and meetings of classmates, because they are stopped by the fear that they will have to communicate with people there.

Even just making an important call for an anthropophobe is a problem, since an interlocutor will be waiting for him on the other end of the wire, with whom he will need to communicate. As a result, such a person closes in on himself and becomes a recluse, his life proceeds in solitude, alienation to a person and confidence that no one understands him grows stronger.

Fear is the enemy of logic.
Frank Sinatra

Symptoms and causes of fear of communicating with people

In our life, quite often you can meet this social problem, called anthropophobia. Why is this happening? In fact, modern psychology does not find exact reasons for this.

Many experts argue that the cause of the fear of communicating with people is rooted in a person’s childhood. It can be any psychological trauma: resentment inflicted on the child, ridicule from peers, problems in, or simply innate complexes. As a result, a person fences himself off from everyone, preferring loneliness to communication.

What makes a person feel fear of people in a store or on the street? Why are some people afraid to talk on the phone? The reasons for which anthropophobia manifests itself in a person can be very different.

Let's look at the main reasons for the development of Anthropophobia in a person:

• Fear of the crowd. You are afraid of large crowds of people. You are uncomfortable being in public, you hate being the center of attention. Often, crowds of people inspire such fear in you that it sometimes develops into a panic attack.
• Fear of a stranger. You are afraid of someone else's attention, touches and even glances, you experience severe discomfort when a stranger approaches you. Simple communication makes you panicky and want to hide.
• Fear of specific people. You try to avoid certain types of people, for example: drunk, fat, funny, serious, etc. Sometimes you yourself cannot explain to yourself the reasons for such fear, which, most likely, come from your childhood.
• Fear in people who have changed something in themselves. Often anthropophobia can appear in a person who was able to change his appearance with his own efforts. For example, you yourself were able to significantly lose your weight, and now you have become afraid of fat people.

The main methods of treating anthropophobia

It is almost impossible to overcome the fear of communicating with people on your own. A person suffering from anthropophobia needs the help of a qualified psychologist.

The specialist will help to identify the reasons why you have this fear and prescribe a course of treatment, which consists in confidential conversations with a psychologist.

anthropophobia- the problem is serious, and it must be treated very responsibly. The main thing is to overcome yourself and seek help from a specialist, to whom many are afraid to go precisely because of their fear of people, although these people can help get rid of the fear of communication. It turns out a vicious circle.

If you cannot decide to take this step, then you have the opportunity to help yourself:

1. Step one: be fully aware of the existence of this problem.
2. step two: determine what kind of fear prevents you from living a full life in order to identify the "root of evil." Strangers? Crowded places? Or specific situations in which you are forced to contact strangers?
3. Step Three: start to overcome your problem little by little, taking small steps to solve it. Buy something you like in the store, try to take the bus at least a couple of stops, go to the movies for the long-awaited premiere.

Yes, it will not be easy at first, but these will be your small victories - soon you will feel that the fear has decreased, it has become easier for you to go outside, and you are already on the path to healing.

How to overcome the fear of communicating with people

Due to the fact that throughout your life you have practically no contact with people, you have, of course, lost all your skills.

But without communicating with people, you will not overcome your fear. The more you contact them, the faster your fears will go away. At the institute (if you are a student) or at work (if you are an independent person) do not sit on the sidelines - join people, participate in discussions, express your opinion:

• Do not be afraid to speak, they will definitely listen to you and support the conversation.
• Do not refuse invitations to festive events, go to parties and try to gradually get involved in the general fun.

  No one requires you to immediately rush into the pool of your head, for starters, just try to take the first steps to overcome the fear of communicating with people.

• Try to communicate as much as possible, don't be afraid to keep up the conversation, smile more often and just be yourself.

  Believe me, people like to be in the company of a sociable, positive and sincere person.

Video: How to overcome the fear of communicating with people

Outcome

Remember that there will always be something in which you are stronger and better than others, whether it is knowledge in literature or intelligibility in cinema.

You always have the opportunity to use your best side when communicating with people, so you can conquer fears.

Don't be afraid to be yourself - and your life will change dramatically!