How to control your anger - advice from an experienced psychologist. Method #6: The Perfect Brawl

How to deal with anger? What to do with outbreaks of aggression and irritation? How to learn to control your emotions? How many times in our lives have we asked this question… “I feel rage all over my body, I need to learn how to deal with this anger and anger, but I don’t know how.” “I physically feel like in certain situations everything seems to explode inside me.”This is what people say when they are asked what exactly is going on in their head (or body) at the moment of a fit of anger. In this article, psychologist Mairena Vasquez gives you 11 practical tips for every day on how to deal with your anger.

How to deal with anger. Tips for every day

We have all experienced anger in our lives as a result of some out of control situations personal problems that upset us, due to fatigue, insecurity, envy, unpleasant memories, because of situations that we cannot accept, and even because of some people whose behavior we do not like or annoy ... Sometimes failures and the collapse of life plans can also cause frustration, anger and aggression. What is anger?

Anger - it is a negative emotional reaction of a violent nature (emotion), which can be accompanied by both biological and psychological changes. The intensity of anger varies from feeling dissatisfied to furious or furious.

When we experience anger, the cardiovascular system suffers, blood pressure rises, sweating, heart rate and breathing become more frequent, muscles tense, we blush, we experience problems with sleep and digestion, we cannot think and reason rationally ...

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At the physiological level Anger is associated with a series of chemical reactions that take place in our brain.. To summarize:

When something makes us angry or annoying, amygdala(the part of the brain responsible for processing and storing emotions) seeks help from (which is also responsible for our mood). At this point, it begins to release adrenalin to prepare our body for a possible threat. Therefore, when we are irritated or angry, our heart rate increases and our senses are heightened.

All emotions are necessary, useful and play a role in our lives. Yes, anger is necessary and beneficial, as it helps us respond to any situation that we perceive as a threat, and also gives us the ability to confront any circumstance that disrupts our plans. It gives the necessary courage and energy and reduces the feeling of fear, which allows us to better cope with troubles and injustices.

Very often anger hides behind other emotions (sadness, pain, fear…) and manifests itself as a kind of defense mechanism. Anger is a very strong emotion that becomes a problem when we are not able to control it. Uncontrolled anger can destroy a person or even his environment, preventing him from thinking rationally and prompting him to aggressive and violent behavior. Excessive anger can be detrimental to both physical and mental health, put an end to a person's social connections, and generally significantly reduce the quality of his life.

Types of Anger

Anger can manifest itself in three different ways:

  1. ANGER AS A TOOL: sometimes when we can't reach a goal, we use violence as an "easy way" to get what we want. In other words, use rage and violence as a tool to achieve a goal. Anger as a tool is usually used by people with poor self-control and poor communication skills. However, we must remember that there are other ways of persuasion.
  2. ANGER AS PROTECTION: we experience anger when we intuitively interpret other people's comments or behavior as attacks, insults, or claims against us. We get offended (often for no apparent reason) and feel an irresistible urge to attack. How? With anger, which is a big mistake. In difficult situations, it is better to remain calm.
  3. EXPLOSION OF ANGER: if we endure some situations that we consider unfair for a long time, suppress our emotions, trying to restrain ourselves further, we find ourselves in a dangerous vicious circle, from which we get out only when we can no longer endure. In this case, that very “last drop” is enough to “fill the cup”. In other words, in a situation where we endure for too long, even the smallest event can provoke an outburst of anger. Our patience "bursts", forcing us to anger and violence, we boil ... like a kettle.

People who often experience anger tend to have specific personality traits, such as: (they cannot understand that their desires cannot always be satisfied at their first request, these are very self-centered people), because of which they are not confident in themselves and do not control their emotions, lack of empathy(they can't put themselves in another person's shoes) and high (they don't think before they act), etc.

The way children are raised also affects how they manage anger as adults. It is very important to teach children to express their emotions from an early age so that they learn to deal with them as best as possible. In addition, teach children not to react aggressively to certain situations, do not allow the development of the “emperor syndrome” in the child. The family environment also matters: it has been noted that people who are less able to contain their anger come from troubled families in which there is no emotional closeness. .

How to control anger. Anger is an emotional reaction that can be accompanied by biological and psychological changes.

How to get rid of anger and learn to control it? How to overcome irritation and bouts of aggression? The natural intuitive reaction to anger and anger is some kind of aggressive violent action - we can start screaming, smash something or throw it ... However, this is NOT the best solution. Read on! 11 tips on how to calm anger.

1. Be aware of the situation or circumstances that may provoke your anger.

You may experience feelings of anger or rage in some extreme situation, but it is important to learn how to manage this. To learn how to manage anger, you need to understand in general what problems / situations annoy you the most, how you can avoid them (i.e. these very specific circumstances), how to do it in the most in the best way, etc. In other words, learn to work with your own reactions.

Carefully! When I talk about avoiding situations and people, I mean very specific examples. We can’t spend our entire lives avoiding absolutely all the people and situations that make us feel uncomfortable. If we completely avoid such moments, we will not be able to resist them.

How to deal with anger: it is vital to understand that violence and aggression will not get you anywhere, in fact, it can aggravate the situation and even make you feel even worse. Pay special attention to your reactions (you begin to feel restless, there is a feeling that your heart is about to jump out of your chest and you are not able to control your breathing) in order to take action in time.

2. Be careful with words when you are angry. Eliminate the words “never” and “always” from your speech

When we are angry, we may say things that would not normally occur to us. Once you calm down, you won't feel the same anymore, so be careful what you say. Each of us is the master of our silence and the slave of our words.

How to deal with anger: you need to learn to reflect on the situation, look at it as objectively as possible. Try not to use these two words: "never" and "always". When you get angry and start thinking, “When this happens, I always get angry” or “I never succeed,” you are making a mistake. Try by all means to be objective and look at things optimistically. Life is a mirror that reflects our thoughts. If you look at life with a smile, she will answer you the same.

3. When you feel like you're on edge, take a deep breath.

We all need to be aware of our limits. Nobody knows you better than yourself. Obviously, on a daily basis, we can face situations, people, events that can knock us out of the rut ...

How to deal with anger: When you feel like you can't take it anymore, that you're on the edge, take a deep breath. Try to distance yourself from the situation. For example, if you are at work, go to the toilet, if you are at home, take a relaxing shower to calm your thoughts ... Take the so-called "time-out". It really helps during stressful times. If you can get out of the city - allow yourself this, escape from the daily routine and try not to think about what makes you angry. Find a way to calm down. An excellent option is a trip to nature. You will see how nature and fresh air affect your brain.

The most important thing is to get distracted, to abstract from the situation until it calms down, in order to avoid aggressive reactions and not do something that you can later regret. If you feel like crying, cry. Crying calms anger and sadness. You will understand why crying can be good for your mental health.

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neuropsychological

4. Do you know what cognitive restructuring is?

In psychology, the method is widely used cognitive restructuring. It's about replacing our irrelevant thoughts (such as our interpretations of other people's intentions) with more useful ones. In other words, you need replace it with a positive one. In this way, we can quickly eliminate the discomfort caused by various situations or circumstances, and the anger will quickly pass.

Example: You need to meet a work colleague you don't really like. You waited for an hour before he finally showed up. Since this person is unpleasant to you, you begin to think about how irresponsible he is, and that he was late on purpose to “annoy” you, and notice that you are overcome with anger.

How to deal with anger: you need to learn not to think that others are doing something in order to harm you. Give them a chance, put yourself in their place. If you allow the person to explain himself, you will understand that the reason for his lateness was justified (in this particular example). Try to act reasonably and objectively.

5. Learn relaxation and breathing techniques to better manage your anger.

It is relevant to remind once again how important breathing is in moments of tension, anxiety, anger ...

How to deal with anger: Proper breathing will help relieve tension and put your thoughts in order. Close your eyes, slowly count to 10, and don't open them until you feel yourself starting to calm down. Breathe deeply and slowly, try to clear your mind, free it from negative thoughts...gradually. The most common breathing techniques are abdominal breathing and progressive muscle relaxation according to Jacobson.

If you still find it difficult to relax, imagine some pleasant calm picture, landscape or listen to music that relaxes you in your mind. How to keep calm?

Besides, try to get enough sleep at night (at least 7-8 hours), because rest and sleep promote better control of emotions, increase our mood and reduce irritability.

6. Social skills will help you deal with anger. You control anger, not the other way around

The daily situations we face require us to be able to behave appropriately with other people. It is important to be able not only to listen to others, but also to be able to keep up the conversation, to thank if they helped us, to help ourselves and enable others to give us help and support when we need them, to be able to respond correctly to criticism, no matter how unpleasant it may be ...

How to deal with anger: In order to manage and control anger better, it is important to be able to correctly interpret the information around us, to be able to listen to other people, to act under various circumstances, to accept criticism and not let frustration take hold of us. In addition, you need to be careful with unjustified accusations against others. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

7. How to contain anger if another person is causing it

Often our anger is provoked not by events, but by people. Avoid toxic people!

In this case, it is recommended to move away from such a person until you cool down if you feel that the situation is heating up. Remember that when you hurt others, you are hurting yourself first, and that is exactly what you need to avoid.

How to deal with anger: express your displeasure quietly and calmly. More convincing is not the one who screams louder, but the one who is able to express his feelings adequately, calmly and reasonably, outlining the problems and possible solutions. It is very important to act like an adult and be able to listen to the other person's opinion and even find a compromise (whenever possible).

8. Exercise will help you “dump” negative energy and get rid of bad thoughts.

When we move or engage in some kind of physical activity, we release endorphins that help us calm down. This is another way to manage anger.

How to control anger: Move, do any exercise... Go up and down the stairs, clean your house, go out for a run, take a bike and ride around the city ... anything that somehow can increase adrenaline.

There are people who, in a fit of anger, begin to rush and beat what comes to their hand. If you feel an overwhelming urge to hit something to quickly release energy, try getting a punching bag or something similar.

9. A good way to “let go of your thoughts” is to write.

It would seem that, How can it help if you start recording something? Especially if you just had a serious fight with your loved one or loved one?

How to deal with anger: in a moment of anger, our thoughts are chaotic, and we are not able to concentrate on the situation that irritates us. Perhaps keeping a diary will help you figure out what angers you the most, how exactly you feel it, in what situations you are most vulnerable, how to and how not to act in response, how you felt after ... As time goes by, you will be able to compare your experiences and memories to understand what all these events have in common.

Example: “I can't do this anymore. I just had a fight with my boyfriend because I can't stand it when he calls me rude. Now I feel very bad, because I yelled at him and slammed the door, leaving the room. I am ashamed of my behavior." In this particular case, the girl, after reading her entry, will realize that she reacts incorrectly every time she is called “ill-mannered”, and eventually learns not to respond to this with anger and violence, because she subsequently regrets her behavior, she is ashamed.

You can even cheer yourself up or give yourself advice that can be helpful and reassuring. For example: “If I take a deep breath and count to 10, I will calm down and look at the situation differently,” “I know that I can control myself”, “I am strong, I highly value myself and will not do what I later regret.”

You can also unleash your energy through drawing, solving puzzles and crosswords, etc.

10. Laugh!

Is there a better way to relieve stress and cheer up than a good dose of laughter? It is true that when we are angry, the last thing we want to do is laugh. At this moment, we think that the whole world and all the people in it are opposed to us (which is far from reality).

How to deal with anger: although it is not easy, but still the problems look different if you treat them humorous, positive. So laugh as much as possible and at absolutely everything that comes to mind! Once you calm down, look at the situation from a different angle. Imagine the person you were angry with in some kind of funny or amusing situation, remember the last time you laughed together. This will make it much easier for you to deal with your anger. Remember, laughter is very helpful. Laugh at life!

11. If You Think You Have Serious Anger Control Problems, See a Professional

If you replace other emotions with anger, if you notice that anger is ruining your life, that you get irritated by even the smallest things, if you cannot help screaming or wanting to hit something when you are angry, if you are unable to contain yourself in your hands and no longer know what to do, how to act in certain situations, with people, etc. … about seek help from a specialist.

How to deal with anger: a psychologist who specializes in this problem will study the problem from the very beginning and will determine how best to help you. He may suggest that you learn to control your anger through certain behaviors (such as practicing social skills) and techniques (such as relaxation techniques) so that you can deal with situations that irritate you. You can even take group therapy classes where you can meet people who are experiencing the same difficulties. This can be of great help, as you will find understanding and support among such people.

Summing up, I would like to note that we need to learn to control our emotions, especially anger. Remember that anger, whether expressed physically or verbally, can never be an excuse for bad behavior towards others.

You already know that it is not the one who shouts the loudest who is bold, but the cowardly and cowardly is not the one who is silent. Unreasonable words or stupid insults should not be listened to. Always remember that by harming others, you are harming yourself first of all.

Translation by Anna Inozemtseva

Psicóloga especializada en psicologia clinica infanto-juvenil. En continua formación para ser psicóloga sanitaria y neuropsicóloga clinica. Apasionada de la neurociencia e investigación del cerebro humano. Miembro activo de diferentes asociaciones e interesada en labores humanitarias y emergencias. A Mairena le encanta escribir articulos que puedan ayudar o inspirar.
"Magia es creer en ti mismo".

Anger is a fundamental human emotion that was given for the purpose of enabling the individual to survive in a wild and dangerous environment. Even in ancient times, anger helped people a lot, many obstacles were overcome. However, society developed, the need to express their negative emotions gradually decreased. It was not possible to completely get rid of anger, people in the modern world continue to artificially create troubles for themselves that arouse anger.

The meaning of the word "anger"

This is a negative emotion. You can even say that it has an aggressive character and is directed towards another person or object. If this is an object, then an individual can easily destroy it, if a person - offend, subdue.

Anger is when everything starts to boil and boil inside, the face turns red. It looks like a real bomb is about to explode. All hatred, all resentment accumulates - they cause negative consequences. The most dangerous thing is that in anger a person cannot always control his emotions. Sometimes everything comes to aggression, the individual is in and does not understand what he is doing. At times like this, it's better to have no one around. With a clouded mind, you can do anything, harm and even cripple.

Usually aggression does not last long. It's an instant impulse. A person quickly lights up and quickly fades away. However, anger is no joke. If the individual is frequently affected by this emotion, it is best to consult a physician.

Anger: what are the causes?

Aggression accumulates in a person for various reasons. Perhaps something did not go according to plan at work, at home it is difficult to find a common language with a loved one. The definition (what anger means) hardly conveys all the feelings that a person experiences during a breakdown. Even an elementary trifle can sometimes lead to an “internal explosion”. What are the causes of anger?

1. Contrasting Beliefs

The character of a person begins to form from childhood. We are all brought up differently, everyone is taught something, something is explained. This forms in a person the concept of morality, rules, principles. However, the beliefs of one individual do not always correspond to the rules of behavior of another. The brain is programmed like a computer, and when the system encounters an unknown concept, it starts to slow down. So is man. If he meets a belief that is not like what he is used to, he perceives this as a threat, a danger. As a result, anger wakes up - an emotion that definitely does not decorate us.

2. Fear

Another reason for aggression is subconscious fear. It is worth noting that in the modern world, a person very often creates problems for himself. Let's take a simple example. The man got a good job, everything is going great. However, for some reason, he begins to fear that he will be fired. All these feelings gather inside and turn into manic fear. What happens next? The boss calls the employee to him to point out a mistake or praise. At this time, something begins to happen in a person’s thoughts - all feelings are sharply intensified, he winds up that the boss is calling to him to fire him. As a result, anger is provoked. This is not surprising, a person perceives fear as a danger.

3. Stress

Stress is most often experienced by people with good manners. Surprisingly, this is true. Such individuals do not express their negative emotions, everything accumulates inside - resentment, pain, fear. A person tries to be correct, does not be rude to others, does not raise his voice, does not show his displeasure. You can not do it this way. You can't hide everything inside, because one day "the bomb will explode." This cannot be avoided. What is anger? This is a huge amount of negative emotions that accumulate in the soul over time. If you do not speak out from time to time, then the day will come when a person will simply break loose and turn from a decent individual into a real beast.

4. Feeling good

No matter how strange it may sound, the cause of anger can be a person. Illness, aching pain that you have to endure - all this negatively affects self-control and creates the prerequisites for a sharp change in mood. The end result is anger and anger. A person simply begins to annoy everything around, it seems that everyone wants to harm him. Here everything is woven into one knot - stress, fear, beliefs.

How to conquer anger?

Anger is as much a human emotion as joy or sadness. It is completely impossible to get rid of it. Even if someone succeeds, the individual feels inferior. The peculiarity of the human essence lies in the fact that he must show all his emotions in order to learn self-control. Anger is not the best emotion, there are several ways to protect yourself from sudden outbursts of rage so as not to harm others.

1. Learn to listen to yourself

Anger always has a precursor. This may be a bad mood, well-being or irritability. You need to learn to listen to yourself and see these moments in order to avoid a sudden outburst of rage. For example, you are talking to a person and you feel how everything starts to boil inside. This means that you start to get angry. How to proceed in such a case? There are several options for the development of events:

  • change the topic, perhaps it is she who awakens negative emotions;
  • end the conversation.

If you notice that in recent times rage is experienced more and more often - this is a wake-up call. What is anger? This is a violation. Keep a small notebook and write down all the situations that make you irritable. At the end of the week, you need to analyze the records. If you yourself see that anger sometimes wakes up from scratch, then you can’t let everything take its course. Maybe you just need a rest? Take a day off, spend it alone with your inner world. Read a book, take a bath, relax.

2. Control and good rest

Sometimes, in a fit of anger, a person can commit a terrible act, which he will later regret unspeakably. To avoid this, it is very important to learn to control your emotions. This does not mean that emotions now need to be suppressed. If you suddenly begin to feel irritation inside, try to take a deep breath and exhale several times - breathing exercises calm the nervous system.

Another interesting option for controlling anger is recommended by psychologists. So, you managed to restrain yourself and not break into your interlocutor. Now we urgently go home or to another secluded place. We take a piece of paper and write a letter to the person who caused a violent negative reaction in you. Write whatever you feel. The more rage on paper, the calmer it will become in the soul. Then this letter must be burned.

Of course, it is important to remember about rest. The modern rhythm of life rarely leaves time to sleep. However, still find an extra hour or two a week for this. Fatigue can also cause an outburst of rage.

3. Exercise

It has been repeatedly proven that exercise has a great effect on the nervous system. Sign up for yoga, fitness or any other sport - several times a week will be enough for a person to splash out accumulated negative emotions.

Sometimes there is no time for sports. However, this does not mean that now you cannot get rid of rage. Cleaning around the house will help a lot - it's even better than fitness. A person concentrates on dirt, dust, how to get rid of it. There is a frenzied physical and mental stress. Psychologists confirm that cleaning is soothing. The person is satisfied with the work done, and the rage evaporates.

An easy way to calm down is with balloon breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale 10-15 times. This exercise can be practiced at work.

Summing up

The psychology of anger is a science that has been studied for a very long time. Every day something new and unknown is discovered in a person.

Helpful Hints:

  1. Make time for yourself. You don't have to think only about the people around you. Go shopping, go to the cinema or a cafe. In other words, sometimes you should treat yourself too.
  2. Don't create problems for yourself. Try to take things easier and remember: whatever is done is for the best.
  3. Rest - at least on weekends, try to sleep well and stock up on energy for the next week, then there will be less reasons for stress.

As for rage, you need to release it, just do it right so as not to harm anyone. This needs to be learned.

The very word "anger" paints an unattractive picture of a person spitting, screaming, blushing with indignation, and dangerous to others. For many of us, the word "anger" is associated with unpleasant and terrible images: scenes of insults, violence and destruction. But this emotional reaction has not only a negative side. It is natural for a person who has seen an unsightly scene of inappropriate behavior in society or a situation associated with a threat to someone's life. An educated, mentally balanced person experiences anger in such situations! We need to answer, however, the question "What is anger?" Is this good or bad? Answer: both good and bad. It all depends on how anger manifested itself, when, under what circumstances, to what extent, and for what reason. We need to think about this, because most often we express anger in the closest circle of constant communication - in the family.

What is anger like?

This word combines a whole group of emotions that expresses our state of rejection: discontent, indignation, indignation, irritation, hatred, rage and others. Each emotion is accompanied by peculiar physical, mental and behavioral changes and reactions - from a weak reaction of a disgruntled person to a pronounced, vivid and dangerous one in a state of rage. It all depends on upbringing, life experience, habits, temperament and many other factors.

  1. State discontent - the initial stage of the manifestation of anger, it is quite manageable. You can hide your reaction if you wish. It is not aggressive, does not bring any special changes in facial expressions, gestures, the ability to adequately think, make decisions. A person can calmly analyze what is happening and control their actions and intonations of the voice.
  2. Disturbance- a stronger reaction, in which the presence of stress hormones is already present. The state of indignation can be determined by the look, gestures, intonation, but this is a completely controlled reaction of anger, indicating rejection of the situation that this person has encountered.
  3. Irritation - the next step in expressing anger. Negative emotions begin to control a person, his movements, posture, voice and words. Logical thinking is slightly suppressed by stress hormones, so a strong deterrent is needed, a person needs some time to get out of this state. Some decide at such moments to leave the room and at the same time slam the door loudly.
  4. Resentment or anger. In this state, the excitation of the centers of speech, gestures and movements is manifested. A person is eager to fight, shouts, threatens, slanders and cannot calm down for a long time. There is a tremor (trembling) in the arms and legs, tension in all the muscles of the body. The release of stress hormones into the blood partially block logical thinking and have a negative effect on all systems of the human body.
  5. Dangerous state of expressing anger - rage. This is most often an uncontrollable emotional reaction, a complete loss of control over oneself, a lack of logical thinking, sometimes a complete loss of memory (a state of passion). Subconscious sinful beginnings, the desire for revenge, destruction, ruin and destruction begin to control a person. A woman in counseling told me how she "talked" to her husband after she discovered his infidelity. She became so furious that, without control of herself, but with full memory, she grabbed a knife and plunged it into her husband's chest! Leaving him lying on the floor, she went out of the kitchen, rang the doorbell to a neighbor and asked to call the police and an ambulance. With the words "I killed my husband!", she sat on a chair and waited for their arrival. Everything went well, because the knife entered at a great angle and did not hit anything, but this woman could not recover for a long time from the consciousness of what, it turns out, she is capable of! She deliberately went for the kill! “What should I do now?!” the woman asked in horror. "How to deal with this condition?"

The apostle Paul mentions in his epistle to Ephesians 4, 31 verse : "All irritation and rage, and anger, and shouting, and slander, with all malice, be put away from you” (Eph. 4:31). The Bible reminds us of the last three stages of expressing anger, which should not be shown in our behavior under any circumstances. "REMOVED" means CONTROLLED! And if they are controlled, then we must learn how to control them.

The Lord knows what emotional state a person is in on this sinful earth, what situations we can get into, therefore he warns us that we will face the problem of expressing both just and uncontrollable anger. The wisest man on earth, Solomon, in his book of Proverbs, gave some tips to help keep yourself in control of the stages of anger. There are two : discontent and indignation.

Proverbs 12:16: "A foolish man immediately shows his wrath, but a prudent man conceals his offense." “The foolish one pours out all his anger, but the wise one restrains it.” (Proverbs 29:11). " A meek answer turns away anger, but an insulting word stirs up anger.” ( Proverbs 15:1). Advice is very valuable for a person in a situation where he was insulted. In what way will prudence be manifested? He will ask himself the question: “What did I provoke such behavior? Maybe I did something wrong myself? In considering the situation, the wise will find a share of their guilt and apologize (mild answer), and the other person's anger will go into a weaker stage. While the wise man is looking for an answer to his question, some time passes, the situation no longer heats up, there was no sharp answer, and the end of the “skirmish” can even be positive - understanding, forgiveness and reconciliation. And if the response occurs immediately and therefore thoughtlessly, tension builds up and soon both participants in the incident come into a state of increased aggression - hatred or rage.

How does our body react to the expression of anger?

As soon as we get into the situation of expressing anger, especially the last three stages, there are various forms of reactions and their consequences in the body.

Physical Consequences:

  • In response to electrical stimulation of the hypothalamic zone of the brain, an additional amount of adrenaline (stress hormone) is produced and distributed.
  • The pressure rises, the pupils dilate.
  • The nervous system carries blood away from the skin, liver, stomach, and intestines to the heart, brain, and muscles.
  • The feeling of hunger disappears.
  • Hearing and sensitivity to sounds is aggravated.
  • Muscles tighten, fists clench, face contort, shoulders rise.

In order to function effectively, the body must get rid of this tension, which over time becomes an overwhelming task, and over time, typical diseases appear: ulcers, gastritis, colitis, headache, hypertension, heart disease, etc.

Emotional Consequences:

  • The expression of uncontrolled emotions will lead to the loss of friends, loved ones, family.
  • There is fear for the result of their behavior.
  • A habitual reaction of transition from the stage of discontent to uncontrollable rage is developed within a split second.
  • The tendency to depression, as a result of constant stress, leads to diseases of the central nervous system, to addictions to various drugs.
  • Decreased resistance to irritation. A person feels that he is constantly ready for irritation when he is hungry or overworked, when he is contradicted or disagrees with his opinion.

A wonderful Biblical expression: “To whom you give yourself as a slave, you are also a slave,” tells us about a very important rule of life. "We must not become hostages or slaves to the anger that will guide us." It is very difficult to get out of the state of slavery, it is better not to get there. We see how easy it is to fall into the bondage of anger by expressing it incorrectly. Situations where there are reasons for the manifestation of anger can be very different. Most of all, it manifests itself in the family, between husband and wife, between children and parents, between mother-in-law and son-in-law, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. In this environment, people stay together for a long time, work side by side, make mistakes, step on each other's toes, literally and figuratively. They got used to each other, the caution and restraint that is inherent in the relationship of unfamiliar people has gone. But we all need to learn how to properly, constructively express our anger. After all, the emotions of anger are laid down by the Creator, it is only necessary to learn how to manage these processes.

Some rules for expressing just anger.

  1. Try to solve the problem that caused your anger in the first stage - dissatisfaction. You can quite control your emotions, words, decisions and intonation, on which the reaction of your interlocutor depends. Leaving “for later” the solution of the problem, you will accumulate your discontent, it will grow to the stage of irritation or anger. In this case, you run the risk of not coping with yourself.
  2. If you are in a state of indignation or irritation, it will immediately show up in your speech and intonation. This usually leads to the excitation of the same emotions on the other side. A calm conversation will not work, and both will be to blame. To calm yourself and bring the intonation of your voice back to normal, answer yourself the question: “Why do I respect or love this person?” After all, it cannot be that there is something positive in the person with whom you have a conflict! It is with these words that you begin your speech: “I respect you very much for the fact that ...”
  3. Then use the words “I-concepts”, that is, do not talk about his fault, about omissions on his part, but express your state in this moment: “I am very upset that ...” or “I am disappointed”, “I am surprised, outraged, etc.”
  4. Never start your conversation with a situation that upsets or angered you. You can make an analysis of many conflict situations, especially in families, when the conversation began precisely with the very act that caused outrage. “How many times do you have to say: “don’t do this!”, “Why did you scatter everything again?!!!”, “Why are the socks under the sofa again !?” Such a beginning will never lead to good decisions, but only to defense on the other side and to a major quarrel, to uncontrollable anger.
  5. Never resort to generalizing phrases-memories. "You always!" or "You never!" Some people manage to add to this phrase all relatives, mothers, fathers, grandparents of all generations. This is a sure way to express unconstructive anger with a transition to a state of rage. Avoid the temptation to take a tour of the "museum of past grievances." Even if your "enemy" does, don't give in to this annoying habit. You continue your calm speech or be quiet for a while to focus.

All these practical tips will help you develop a sense of responsibility for every word, be restrained in your expressions, control your reactions, and follow the Bible's advice: “So, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:19.

NAKOURSE LYDIA, family consultant.

“Jupiter, you are angry, then you are wrong” - this Latin proverb about anger developed long before we learned about the negative factors that directly affect our psyche and health: television, the Internet, newspapers, magazines, polluted air and polluted reservoirs, in other words - psychological zombie and problematic ecology. But over the years, as we see, this aphorism has not lost its relevance, on the contrary, it indicates that the feeling of anger is more and more “organically” getting used to our psyche.

Almost daily, we are faced with manifestations of anger, both our own, which we see as fair, and from close people or just random passers-by - anger that causes outrage and the need to respond in kind. In other words, a chain reaction. Recall at least the caricature of Herluf Bidstrup: the boss furiously scolds his subordinate, he scolds the lower official, he attacks the messenger boy, who kicks the dog out of anger, and she clings to the same boss. The circle is closed.

No matter how hard they try to convince us from childhood that it is bad to be angry, few are amenable to education. After all, the mental operations that produce this emotion are organized at the level of instinct and are inherited, so its first bursts can appear from early childhood and progress from year to year. Innate qualities, aggravated by knowledge about the patterns of aggressive behavior common in many families, among peers, or seen from TV screens, finally form the depth of anger.

If an angry person could see himself from the outside, he would be quite surprised. Tousled hair, flaring nostrils, narrowed eyes, hands clenched into fists, change the portrait beyond recognition. Although it must be said that such an “attack” brings temporary relief to a person himself, taking away negative mental energy from other emotions that have more subtle structures, such as, for example, suffering, shame, despair or insult. In anger, a person even ceases to feel pain. And due to the sharp release of energy, it becomes stronger. In fact, the body comes into a state of combat readiness. Although a person resorts to aggressive actions in those cases when he assesses the level of danger as such that he has a chance to join the fight and win. When he feels the danger is too high, he is more likely to choose flight as his strategy.

Vicious circle of emotions

When the body senses the approach of danger, physical changes occur in it, which are controlled by the autonomic nervous system. It was named so because it is not subject to direct conscious control. This system controls emotional reactions at the physical level, that is, in fact, it is a "bridge between the psyche and the body."

The autonomic nervous system receives impulses from the middle and lower parts of the brain, which are connected with its cortex, that is, with higher centers. When we experience anger, the appropriate command is sent through the hypothalamus to the reticular system, which activates the brain. This system brings the body into a state of "combat readiness". The thalamus (visual tubercles) also participates in this process, which sends impulses to the cerebral cortex, where they are interpreted. Thus, the experience of anger largely depends on the function of the cerebral cortex. Or, speaking in the language of psychologists, from awareness, since the feeling of danger is determined mainly by how a person draws danger in his imagination. So, it is known that a fairly safe situation that can be explained from an objective point of view can also cause a strong rage. In this case, everything depends on our imagination, which is often based on the experiences of the past.

A typical case from the practice of a psychologist. The woman turned to the doctor for advice on how to re-educate her adult son, who, according to her, would not pour a cup of tea for herself, and at the same time asked for help to pacify her own fits of rage caused by his behavior. During the conversation, it turned out that in childhood she had a severe burn and she had been in the hospital for a long time, so she was very afraid that the child might be scalded with boiling water or burned, and she began to scream as soon as her son crossed the threshold of the kitchen, and thereby developed in him a strong habit of not doing it. Years passed, and the mother began to annoy just what she herself stubbornly accustomed him to.

This situation is typical for sensitive and quick-tempered people who perceive non-dangerous situations as a threat, and therefore try to prevent its development.

However, it must be said that similar problems arise not only in people with an excitable psyche, outwardly calm people who can hide rage under the guise of indifference are also prone to such problems. And, despite the diametrically opposite reactions, both in the first and in the second cases, anger has an equally destructive effect on the body. Blood pressure rises, changes in the composition of the blood occur, the work of internal organs is disturbed: the heartbeat quickens, the process of the digestive tract, kidneys and liver is suppressed. As a result of an angry reaction, stress accumulation in the tissues of free radicals occurs, leading to free peroxidation - the destruction of lipids in the membranes of various cells, especially brain neurons are sensitive to this process.

Frequent and prolonged reactions of anger transfer the body from a state of activation to a state of distress, with all the ensuing consequences. The adaptive capacity of the organism, its resistance to diseases are sharply reduced. As a rule, the weakest link in the body suffers, and those diseases to which a person is predisposed develop and become aggravated.

No matter how harmful anger is to others, it is most dangerous to the one who is indignant. In addition, the habit of reacting with aggression in anger can become a character trait and subsequently lead to psychopathology. However, there is a way out - to learn how to manage the emotion of anger. To do this, it is necessary to understand its essence, features of manifestation and influence.

From evaluation to action

Science does not yet know very well how exactly the mechanism of emotion is activated, but it is clear that this happens automatically. That is why anger often turns out to be a kind of surprise for us too, “breaking into” our consciousness as an uninvited guest. However, there are several points where consciousness, awareness of what is happening, can affect our ability to control rage.

An outburst of anger is preceded by a certain period of accumulation of discontent. It depends on how a person evaluates what is happening. And how the situation should develop depends largely on our beliefs and expectations, which we can review and change. For example: anger is supported by the belief that the other person should behave the way we want. When his behavior deviates from our expectations, we experience irritation. Therefore, respecting the right of another to do as he sees fit helps to reduce our anger.

Once the assessment is made, we get the impulse to act. Between impulse and action there is also a moment, albeit a brief one, when the intervention of consciousness is possible. This moment depends on how much we are aware of our condition, our feelings and what is happening in our body.

If aggression still could not be avoided, there is an opportunity to analyze your reactions and correct your behavior in the future.

There is a well-known saying: "Anger takes away the mind." There is a time during which we perceive the world only from the point that is consonant with the emotion we are experiencing. At this point, no new information is available to consciousness. And if she still manages to act, then her interpretation will still be erroneous. This must be remembered. This period sometimes lasts only a few seconds, but can be much longer. Until it ends, we will be at the mercy of emotion.

Rage of small children
Attacks of anger are also characteristic of young children who do not yet know how to control their emotions. Their psyche is not mature enough for this. Rage is the reaction of a child who is unable to overcome the situation of excessive displeasure. During an attack, the boundary between "I" and not "I" is poorly distinguished, and sensations are dominated by feelings of discomfort and helplessness. All this causes pain, confusion, fear of disorganization, and sometimes loss of contact with reality. Clinical observations have shown that experiencing fits of anger not only hurts the child, but also psychologically traumatizes him. Therefore, adults should try to protect the child from stress, block or at least prevent the development of irritation until a critical moment. Seizures are fleeting, but they can develop gradually, but in any case they develop according to the same pattern. The first sign will be displeasure, expressed in angry crying or whining that cannot be extinguished. Next comes the growing emotional intensity. During this process, the child is almost inaccessible to external influence, since the very experiences that he experiences obscure the world around him. On the crest of the reaction, rage stabilizes somewhat, and the child again gets the opportunity to respond to external influences. The maximum ability to react is manifested during the period when rage is depleted. Therefore, if the seizure grows, it is too late to intervene, the best thing to do is to protect the child from injury and not leave him alone. The words of care and attention are most beneficial here. We must try to help the child, and when the seizure subsides, even if he rejects the help of his parents, you still need to calm him down, take him in your arms. Talk to him. It is very important that parents in these cases maintain their composure and not get angry, realizing that the baby is suffering from acute psychological pain. When the child calms down, it is necessary to talk with him and discuss everything that happened, without unnecessary accusations and reproaches. If a fit of rage caused any prohibition or restriction of the parents, you should not immediately cancel it if you consider it reasonable, fair and useful.

reflex connection

Anger and fear are inherently opposite emotions, they cannot coexist at the same time, as they activate different physiological structures. However, these reactions are interrelated.

From childhood, every aggressive behavior is punished. As a result, the impulse of rage acquires the ability of itself to cause fear, since this impulse was punished, and punishment always arouses fear. A reflex connection is formed when an aggressive impulse and punishment are not recognized as two different events. Only the result is experienced: anger turns into fear. This usually happens in people who in childhood were subjected to systemic and regulated control. Although, of course, fear can have other causes.

Feelings of guilt, shame, envy, a sense of failure are very difficult experiences and often give rise to anger. If at some time a person receives satisfaction due to the fact that he was angry with the one whom he offended, then the next time the probability of an angry reaction to his own guilt increases. The moment will come, and every time, being guilty, he will become angry, look for an object of venting his emotions. Shame, feelings of inferiority, envy, bruised pride can also be weakened when we are irritated. In this case, rage also accumulates.

Types of Angry
Dealing with anger is not easy. But there are people for whom this is much more difficult than for others, because the tendency to anger is a feature of their character. Most of all, people with an excitable personality type are subject to this emotion. They have weakened inhibition of the centers of the cerebral cortex. Tolerance is alien to them, they are impulsive and act without thinking about the consequences. The manifestations of anger are very strong and uncontrollable. Representatives of the stuck type are vindictive and vindictive people. They are especially affected by everything that concerns their personality. They are ambitious, suspicious, painfully touchy and easily vulnerable. Their anger accumulates gradually, increasing from case to case. And if the flame of anger has ignited, then it most likely looks like a fire that is extremely difficult to extinguish. And, finally, people of the asthenic type. They are prone to rapid physical and mental fatigue, frequent mood swings. Poorly tolerate strong irritants - light, noise, tightness, lack of air. From irritability go to tears. Their anger is more like a flammable match that quickly burns out.

How to manage anger

Strong attacks seem irresistible. We believe that this is the only remedy and we have no other choice. But, if you understand the nature of this emotion, it becomes clear that there are other ways to resolve explosive situations. If you look at a thundercloud, it looks solid, material, but if you get inside, then there is nothing there but water vapor. At the same time, it closes the sun, which causes some inconvenience. The same with anger. There are a number of psychotherapeutic techniques and practices that explore the essence of anger. They use drawing, the power of imagination. One asks the question, "What is anger like?" As practice shows, the more you peer into this feeling, the faster it disappears under your gaze, like frost melting under the morning sun. One has only to look rage in the face, as it suddenly loses its power.

When is it most effective to deal with it: after, during or before the appearance?

The first option is after its appearance. This approach is the simplest, because we become aware of our anger only after we face it. Here it is possible to connect the mind in order to analyze what happened and subsequently correct your perception, thinking and behavior. This is the approach of cognitive psychotherapeutic methods.

There are also techniques for the physical removal of anger. To cope with bursting resentment, any intense physical exercise is suitable. Best of all, if they are associated with strikes: playing with the ball, racket or rhythmic movements - swimming, running, etc. Anything that makes it possible to throw out the negative energy of anger into action.

The next step is to overcome the emotion as it occurs. The purpose of this method is to be able to get rid of the emotion at the moment when it is just beginning to gain strength, depriving it of the opportunity to start a chain of thoughts and reactions that take possession of the mind, forcing it to harm someone. If this succeeds, the emotion manifests itself in a weakened form. The Roman philosopher Seneca said that in order to keep from rage, the best thing, feeling the rising "volcano", freeze and do nothing: do not walk, do not move, do not speak.

This method, including the development of body feedback skills, to obtain information about what we feel and do, is offered by psychotherapists to today's patients. For example, when you feel the approach of stress, you need to start monitoring your breathing or fixing your physical sensations. A person cannot experience two different emotions at the same time. On this principle, the methods of "antidote" are built.

There are other techniques that can help at this point. For example, the cultivation in oneself of the opposite emotion - mercy and compassion. These emotions of humanity are immunity against anger. One way to achieve this is to swap places with other people and try to accept the other person's point of view.

Anger has many faces
And masks, and hidden grievances.
Inflicts covert personality mutilations
Aggressively unsatisfied look.

Who among us has not been angry at least once in our lives?Who has not been torn apart by indignation, boiling over with injustice?

And who among us did not catch fire, like a match, or suddenly the volcano of bursting patience did not come to life?

Anger is certainly destructive, for it is often exacerbated by aggression, which can take extreme forms. But not only the visible and expressed anger of action is dangerous. Suppressed and repressed "mental" anger does not destroy so quickly, actively and noticeably. But that doesn't make it any less destructive.

As the humble messenger testifies Law of One, Ra: “G thoughts become those cells of the physical body complex that get out of control and turn into what you call cancer.” That is why anger, as dissatisfaction with oneself and the world, being associated with the biochemistry of the body along with fear, serves as the forerunner of almost all serious ailments of mankind.

But what about the fact that anger is a natural reaction of our nature, namely, the concentration of forces with determination and readiness to overcome with an effort of will?

Not everything is so simple, because often, instead of the desired action, we have an expressive demonstration of readiness to overcome, which is directed inward and outward, or simply have frustration ) with all the resulting biochemical reactions of the body, leading, in turn, to many and psychological problems.

THE NATURE AND DYNAMICS OF ANGER

The nature of anger was considered long before the advent of psychology and modern medicine.

So in the III millennium BC. in China, anger was considered one of the 7 internal causes of anger. And in Buddhism, anger is one of the five "poisons" to be avoided. In later Christianity (Catholicism), anger is one of the seven major sins. In Orthodoxy - one of the eight sins. “All irritation, and wrath, and anger, and shouting, and wickedness, with all malice, be put away from you (Eph. 4:13) - apostle Paul.

It is difficult to argue with this, especially since the father of medicine Hippocra t argued that “the most dangerous diseases are those that distort faces”, among which, of course, anger. He seemed to echo Cicero who believed that "anger is the beginning of madness."

Which of us does not understand the angry reactions of the individual, if life takes away something valuable, important, “unshakable” from us, when the ground leaves under our feet and it seems that the whole world is up in arms against you.

In this sense, anger manifests itself as a negatively colored affect directed against the injustice experienced, and accompanied by a desire to eliminate it.

But, as he claims Agni Yoga: "Act not with anger, but with indignation of the spirit, for the fire of anger only leaves holes in the fabric of the World."

The dynamics of anger can be represented in the form of the three most common emotional reactions:

  • "flash"- an impulse of anger or its inception - a state of emotional arousal and a visible manifestation of anger - “blushed, flushed with anger”.
  • "burning up"– internal aggressive involvement + transition from excitement to action - shouting / quarrel and / or manifestation of anger outside - striking / expressing aggression. Here, anger completely controls a person, “clouding his eyes and mind”;
  • "flash-fade"– not involvement and deterrence. Dynamics is possible and desirable, in which emotional excitement is initially present, but a person does not give in to it, not allowing him to “lose his temper”. In addition, he does not show or express his anger, and also does not commit rash actions. Instead, he seems to freeze, “removes the kettle of excitement and anger from the stove, allowing it to cool”, and only after that does the necessary action. "And he knows how to hold back the tide of anger." - Saadi. When controlling and managing oneself, this method is almost the only one that does not suppress the very possibility of being angry, but levels out the “attempt” of anger to take over a person.

DUETIC ON ANGER

AT considered etymologically as:

In terms of - - this is also border of no return / edge of intemperance / depth of violent objection or poetic thunderstorm of the sky above- a colossal energy release, carried out both outside and inside, destroyed by the thin auric space of the angry, and the planet as a whole.

“The difference is that Zeus, who creates a cosmic storm, fills space with ozone, while your Earthly Zeus, who creates anger, fills the sphere with a child of suffocation. In this, the lower and the higher do not touch.” - Signs of Agni Yoga. Infinity.

This list can be continued. But the essence of this remains unchanged. Anger is evil.

“There is nothing worse than anger” - this was the opinion of the ancient Greek philosopher Menander.

And this evil is not just a dual opposition to good as such, but that part of our imperfect personal nature that must be correctly perceived, realized and transformed into the Unity of the physical, spiritual and mental.

ANGER AS SELF-DESTRUCTION

“Let not the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26) – apostle paul.

What is the evil of anger? In his irrepressible and uncontrollable power, containing the energy of destruction and self-destruction.

Combining in itself and with the inability to hold all the emotional pressure, anger, like a fire, covers all the centers of the abdomen with its flame, launching their volcanic activity. At the same time, all bodily matter shudders from pulsating shocks of discontent, ready to violently break out, flooding everything around with lava of negativity and ashes of destructiveness.

Such is the dynamics of the manifestation of hidden anger - one of the basic emotions of a negative orientation.

"What began in anger ends in shame." – Benjamin Franklin.

"Shame is a kind of anger, only turned inward" - Carl Marx.

Anger also often forms anger, leading to irritation.

Even “just” anger has destructive energy, because a person succumbs to it completely, as if getting used to it, being an expression of anger in experience, action, word.

PSYCHOSOMATICS OF ANGER

"Our own anger or annoyance does us more harm than that which makes us angry." -John Lubbock.

All our emotions have a "representation" in the body. This was well known in antiquity.

So, for example,

In addition, the reflex zone of the liver is the shoulder and knee joints. Moreover, the right lobe of the liver is responsible, respectively, for the right shoulder and knee joints, the left lobe for the left.

In Chinese reflexology, anger is circulated through two paired meridians/channels – the liver and the gallbladder. Moreover, “active, Yang anger” circulates along the meridian of the gallbladder, and its more passive counterpart, Yin, circulates along the meridian of the liver.

For example, frequent headaches, especially in the projection of these meridians, are nothing more than excessive circulation of anger and its “stuck” in certain biologically active points (BAP), which, with prolonged concentration, can lead to migraine-like pains and frequent jumps in arterial blood pressure. pressure, vegetovascular or neurocirculatory dystonia.

In addition, an excess of yang energy of anger will lead to arthritis of the shoulder and knee joints, including the shoulder-scapular region, as well as partially the hip joints, ankle regions and joints of the big toe of both feet.

Evidence-based medicine and modern psychosomatics also confirm the presence of "foci of psycho-emotional response and hidden tension" leading to chronic neurotic reactions and all kinds of physical ailments.

As Mark Voronov, one of the well-known domestic psychotherapists and psychosomatics, stated: “Based on the idea of ​​human holography, stagnation should occur not only in the body, but also in other parts of it (emotional and mental bodies or mind, emotions - author). They are always there. These are hidden tensions: repressed anger or repressed anxiety or repressed aggression, rejection of past experience. This is the other side of body language.”

HEALING ANGER

“If anyone has anger,
Give me anger.
And if you give a handful of small things,
I will accept these dusty toys
And I will transfuse them in My Tower...
I accepted both fear, and doubt, and anger - this is for Me.
And you - the path to the Light,
For I want them to be able to come to Me joyful and bright
on the day of the Great Darkness before Dawn." - Leaves of Morya's garden.

Anger always has too hot breath, indicating the heat of the personality. A cooling effect of the soul is needed, returning a reasonable and balanced perception of one's emotional-sensory and mental nature in order to avoid further ignition.

“If you are angry, count to ten before you speak; if you are very angry, count to one hundred.” - Thomas Jefferson(author - one of the authors of the US Declaration of Independence).

I suggest using our natural ability to breathe. For each phase is an automatic mechanism of tension-relaxation. Inhalation is always tension, exhalation is relaxation.

If you are overcome by anger, take a deep breath, thereby increasing the tension / anger and hold your breath for the longest time you can. Then exhale as slowly as possible. And so three times.

If this did not have its effect, do two more sets of three breaths - exhalations.

“In times of anger one should neither speak nor act.” - Pythagoras.

You can also use the healing sounds of the internal organs offered in qigu and, in particular, Qi Nei Tsang- ancient Taoist techniques.

For the liver, this is the sound SHSHSHSHSHSH. Here is a suggested technique by Master Mantek Chia:

1. Feel the liver and feel the connection between the eyes and the liver.

2. Lower your hands with your palms out. Inhale deeply as you slowly raise your arms out to the sides above your head. At the same time tilt your head back and look at your hands.

3. Interlace your fingers and turn your palms up. Push up your wrists and feel the stretch in your arm muscles from your hands to your shoulders. Lean slightly to the left, creating a gentle stretch in the area of ​​the liver.

5. After a complete exhalation, open your fingers and, pushing the lower parts of the palms to the sides, take a slow breath in liver; imagine how it is filled with a bright green light of kindness.

6. Close your eyes, breathe normally, smile at the liver, imagining that you are still pronouncing its Sound. Follow your feelings. Feel the exchange of energies.

7. Perform 3 to b times.

If you feel angry, have red or watery eyes, or have a sour or bitter taste in your mouth, repeat the exercise 9 to 36 times. The Taoist masters said about anger control: "If you have done the Sound of the Liver 30 times and you are still angry with someone, you have the right to beat that person."

If these actions did not lead to the desired calmness and subsidence of anger, then pay attention to the reason that caused it, as if you are grabbing your own tail, like, for example, a dog. Just do it with consciousness.

Even though anger is a psychosomatic reaction, it is advisable and appropriate to use somatopsychic practice to heal it.

ANGER TRANSFORMATION

No matter how your life turns out,don't look for someone to blame. Other people and situations are just a catalyst for your own anger and discontent. They seem to tell us what needs to be changed in our own attitude and perception.

Undoubtedly, most causes of anger- this is dissatisfaction with oneself and it comes from childhood . For "dislike" in childhood is the cornerstone of most adult problems.

In other words, our failure to receive love in the expected form leads subsequently to , which naturally complicates any relationship.

And indeed, any negative manifestations of emotions are overcome by awareness of the causes of their causes. And this depends on the depth of their "germination" in their own emotional-sensory.

This understanding is influenced by many factors.However, the main transforming energy is unconditional, spilling over the whole nature of man with healing streams of acceptance, gratitude, tolerance, calmness, balance.

Anger or dissatisfaction, with a change in polarity or direction in a positive direction, is transformed into a pattern dissatisfaction as a blessing.

Besides, preventing the formation of anger is much more important and effective than suppressing it in oneself.

As mentioned earlier, anger potentially contains dissatisfaction with something. Therefore, it will be relevant to redirect this emotional reaction in the direction of a change in attitude or non-reaction / non-perception.

It will be difficult to do this only if you initially do not have a strong desire to change yourself with outlining the boundaries of your "I" and not-I or.

Having established a connection with your soul, you begin to effectively use its transforming and balancing energy, stabilizing the centers below the solar plexus.

Often the manifestation of anger is not so much the presence of internal, “own” anger, but the entry into the astral stream or egregor, which, like a whirlwind of energy, draws into a negative cloud, causing an emotional response.

In this case, it is important to feel its energetic and magnetic influence on yourself and, literally, get out of its retracting flow with directed attention / awareness and willpower.

Well, if your anger is often uncontrollable, with outbursts of unmotivated aggression, then it is possible that your energy body has become a testing ground for. Then it will be quite difficult to do without outside help.