There are many situations in life when we want to be sure that we have made the most winning impression on a new interlocutor. How, without losing yourself, to form a positive image in the eyes of our counterpart?
stay yourself
Don't try to pretend to be someone you are not. This applies not only to false information that distorts the real state of things, but also to attempts to seem lighter and more cheerful - such deliberateness, as a rule, is read by the interlocutor as insincerity. “Just because joking isn't your forte doesn't mean you'll make a worse impression,” says psychotherapist Carlin Flora. - Do not betray your nature - your introverted qualities compensate for what you think you may be lacking. This is attentiveness to the interlocutor, the ability to listen and understand him. Just try to follow the speech - nervousness sometimes makes us speak faster, which immediately betrays excitement and uncertainty, leaving a bad impression. “However, the advice to “be yourself” is not always to be taken literally,” adds Karlin Flora. - So, for example, you should never show your cloudy mood. After all, it spreads like an infection - your interlocutor, in turn, will feel uncomfortable.
Pay attention to yourself
Concentrate on yourself and your feelings shortly before you have your first meeting with a new person. It can be any method that is closest to you that helps you meet your inner self and feel the balance: a short meditation, prayer, or just remembering the moment when you felt especially happy or very calm. “Such visual images that we conjure up in our imagination set us on a wave of openness and trust in the world, give us self-confidence. People, as a rule, feel this sense of inner balance in the interlocutor and involuntarily begin to feel sympathy for him as a harmonious person, ”says Tomas Plante, professor of psychology and psychiatry at Santa Clara University.
Language of the body
People do not have to read psychological advice to recognize the state of the interlocutor in gestures and facial expressions - they often feel it subconsciously. Much more trust will be received by a person who, when talking, looks into his eyes and does not constantly look away. This immediately becomes an unspoken manifestation of interest and trust in the partner. At the same time, you communicate that you would like to keep your distance if you take certain postures. “You have to pay close attention to the position of the arms and hands,” says Thomas Plate. - Arms crossed on your chest immediately betray your unwillingness to approach. This is the worst hand position at the first meeting. One hand on the chest, while the palm clasps the other hand - the so-called incomplete barrier - a less demonstrative pose, which, however, also speaks of a desire to isolate oneself from the interlocutor and an inability to trust him. It is also worth trying to get rid of the habit of clenching your hands. One of the gestures expressing the openness of a partner is just open hands. After all, when a child is deceiving or hiding something, he puts his hands behind his back. An adult in such a situation usually hides his hands in his pockets or interlaces his fingers.
It's also important to keep your distance. You should not sit too far from the interlocutor if you are sitting at a common table. The very distance between the communicants can show how much they want to contact each other. Getting close to you indicates that the person wants to be emotionally closer. However, one should take into account the presence of an “intimate zone” in people, the invasion of which can cause discomfort. Therefore, you should not be too close to the interlocutor's face, and if you did not hear something due to loud music or extraneous sounds, lean in such a way as to avoid eye contact. It is best if your gaze is directed over the shoulder of the interlocutor.
Met by clothes
There is a deep psychological meaning in the well-known proverb, according to which we are still greeted by clothes - that is, by the external and expressive manifestation of our "I" - there is a deep psychological meaning. Research confirms this folk wisdom. You should carefully consider your appearance and in the case when you do not know your counterpart very well, at the first meeting, both professional and romantic, observe a certain golden mean. And if you are usually a fan of experimenting with the image, then for this case it is better to stop at the most concise and natural image.
Don't be a narcissist
Freeze
Despite the fact that the first impression is, of course, very strong, do not be afraid to correct the situation if you make a mistake. For example, you came to a party in a state of tension because of what happened on the road (you were upset by an unexpected call, you damaged your car) and because of this you almost did not pay attention to the people to whom you were introduced. Having calmed down a little, you saw a person who is attractive to you, but you do not dare to approach him again. “Do not be afraid to break the ice, most importantly, to show that you are aware of everything and regret such an unsuccessful start,” says Karlin Flora. - It is best to honestly explain (if possible with ease and humor, without going into details unnecessary for the interlocutor) what happened to you. And then move the conversation to another topic. “The way you break up is just as, and often more, important,” says Thomas Plate. - Our impression of a person is formed not only from the first signals that we read when we meet, but also from those that we receive when we say goodbye. It is they who fix or modify the image created by the imagination.
What kind of unexpected meetings do not promise us the New Year holidays! You can meet a man visiting friends, at a festive party, during Christmas festivities, and even at the rink! We attract the attention of men with feminine movements and postures, and you can count on continuing communication if you build the first conversation correctly. Relationship coach Julia Lanske teaches both.
Do you want to learn not only to attract the attention of men, but also to sink into their heads so that a man does not find a place for himself without seeing you? Then I propose to master the "Wide, not deep" technique. It affects three layers at once - non-verbal communication (facial expressions and gestures), verbal methods of communication and body language.
These three layers are closely intertwined and work simultaneously. The main idea is that self-confident and liberated women freely broadcast themselves in space. They have natural, easy and wide movements, open eyes, free speech, and they do not experience difficulties in communication.
Many women move "under themselves", pressing their arms to their bodies, pulling in their necks, squeezing their shoulders, walking half a step, as if afraid to step out of the shadows and make the movement wider in order to say: "Men, pay attention, I'm here." It would seem nothing complicated, but out of ten women, only one or two know how to present themselves. The rest are either too disinhibited, too active - or incredibly tight.
For centuries, we have been drummed into the head that modesty should determine the behavior of a woman. But true women have never been ostentatious modesty. On the contrary, they always knew how to attract attention to themselves without overstepping the boundaries of decency. Or stepping over - alone with those who want to seduce.
It drives men crazy: when a modest innocent girl (first impression) suddenly opens up to him, giving hope of conquest. Shows himself with a passionate nature, but - in the absence of prying eyes.
Let us return to the importance of "breadth of movement" in our business. How do we usually identify successful people? They are the masters of life, they have a special energy, they are always in the spotlight.
Self-confidence breeds confidence in movement and is well seen through postures and gestures. Arms crossed on the chest, stooping, pursed or tightly clamped fingers - all this indicates that you are tense and something does not allow you to relax. Hands in pockets speak of a woman's disinterest, her indifference to what is happening, and indeed this is a masculine gesture.
A man will look at a woman in this position and consider it as "don't come near me", "I'm not ready to communicate." This posture means that the woman is not broadcasting a trophy to him, a reward that a man can receive if he starts the conquest. Modern men do not want to take this barrier. They will pass by until they smell the "prize".
Learn to gesticulate correctly and magnetizingly. Very often you look at a woman, and it seems that her hands interfere with her. The right hand is moving, and the left is hanging, or the hands are moving, not coordinating with the movements of the legs - the rhythm is different.
In order to overcome this shortcoming, it is necessary to engage in plasticity - to feel every cell of your body, to develop in yourself the symmetry of movement and plasticity. Go to dances, dance studios will teach you how to move beautifully. Take care of yourself, your hands, posture.
By "wide" movements, I primarily mean the radius and freedom of movement. Imagine yourself in an 18th century dress - wide, lush, luxurious. Let your arms open up as if you are ready to embrace your man. To feel the width of your arms, you can put on a wide flying silk skirt and hold its hem in your hands or carry a hoop with your hands at waist level.
Of course, you do not need to walk with your arms wide apart in life, but this exercise will help you "tear" or "unstick" your arms from your body, feel a little more free position. There is such a thing as "muscle memory" - the body itself remembers how comfortable it is, and over time you will not have to make an effort to be graceful.
Wide poses: exercises for women
look video describing the technique "Wide, not deep". Try to apply it. Then try to master two more exercises.
Technique "Slightly wider"
It happens that we sit and it seems to us that our posture is free, just the way it should be. Well, let's check. Sit on a chair in a comfortable position for you. Where are your hands? If they are tightly pressed to the body, lie on their knees or next to the body, then there is no need to talk about any "freedom" and confidence. Is your back straight? Is the neck graceful?
Imagine that you are sitting at a table on a date. A man sees only the upper half of your body, to which your hands are tightly pressed. In this position, your body seems wider than usual, you become like a barrel, and the barrel can hardly be called seductive. So, your task is to separate the arms from the body so that the body seems more graceful.
In the "Slightly wider" technique, the only thing that is required of you is to take your elbows slightly away from the body, for example, by placing them on the rails of the chair. So that a noticeable space appears between the body and hands. Your body will immediately become more graceful, your back will straighten, your chest will come forward, your stomach will tighten. You will immediately want to put your legs in a different way, gracefully crossing at the ankles.
Technique "Even wider"
I'll tell you about it with examples. You came with a companion to a restaurant. There are not many people, the head waiter asks: "Which table would you like to sit at?". You can show with a glance, but it is not advantageous for you. I advise you to make a gentle gesture with your hand in the direction of the table you like. This gesture will be noticeable, they will pay attention to you. Stretch your arm elegantly, gently point your hand towards the table and say, "This cozy table is in the corner."
If you are sitting on the couch, you can put your hand on the back. I emphasize - one hand. And there must be a slight bend - in the wrist, in the elbow. It's a soft hand and it's very feminine.
Even wider - bend at the waist, chest forward. Put your hands freely on the armrests, play with your fingers - no need to cling to the armrests. If you are sitting at a table, you can put your elbows on the table against the rules of etiquette. Be sure to bend your wrist - this shows the fragility and sensuality of a woman.
Play an "exemplary girl", a student who folded her arms on her knees (but at the same time, do not press your forearm to the body early - let air remain between your arm and body), men like it.
I do not recommend constantly sitting or standing in any one position - move, demonstrate the breadth of movements, be like a cat, but at the same time observe the measure - nothing beyond the bounds of decency.
And now to the mirror - and rehearse. If you want to impress a man, prepare well.
Buy this book
Discussion
An example of some mannered, pompous lady. If every time you think about the presence of air between yourself and the table, you can lose the most important thing - individuality. Women are loved not for their curved wrist, but for their strength of personality. And it manifests itself in completely different things. You have to be feminine. But, this should be a sense of self, and not feigned self-control. And in order for this to be so, you need to change your consciousness, and not follow the parts of your body.
nobody wants to work. Only as a RELATIONSHIP COACH...)))
dog generation...
Comment on the article "How to impress a man and keep the conversation going"
How to impress a man and keep the conversation going. How to make a good first impression. After all, the impression that we make on others, first of all, depends on how we look, and not on words ...
Discussion
I use public transport with an iPhone and an expensive coat. According to some, this is a show-off, since I don’t have enough for a wheelbarrow. In fact, I just do not like to drive, plus vision problems. It seems I need to make a poster about this and carry it with me, otherwise, God forbid, someone will think that I have a credit iPhone :)))
14.11.2018 14:23:53, OifseIt’s one thing when incomes allow, and another thing is when you buy things from Gucci, drive a Mercedes, and feed your child and yourself with a doshik and you don’t always have money for the same gasoline.
How to attract the attention of a man: remove the stomach and sit beautifully on a chair. How and where to meet a man? Dating a man what not to do on a first date... We all tend to get nervous on the first date and it's a natural part of the process...
Discussion
Do not go, of course, and do not fool him. Survive somehow and marry a normal girl. And you yourself will still find a man according to your needs, with a thick wallet.
17.02.2018 01:57:28, Olga Petrovna7Here, the same word with the letter M ...., God forgive me.)
Well, I would have left the woman more requested, lined up for a lady, groomsmen. So no, it will roam, be ostracized, disfigured.))
Men are attracted to self-sufficient women, it is interesting and comfortable with them. And if she has a loving and beloved husband, then men fall in piles. Yes, yes: "I am the most charming and attractive!" And not a tortured scarecrow.
Discussion
Taschemta, do not flatter yourself, these are the finishers who are looking for clients. And it is difficult to imagine a more "sweet" client than a "self-sufficient" woman.
12.07.2017 14:17:02, Machine operator from SiberiaMen are attracted to self-sufficient women, it is interesting and comfortable with them. And if she has a loving and beloved husband, then men fall in piles. Yes, yes: "I am the most charming and attractive!" And not a tortured scarecrow. So - carry yourself, girls, with love! ... But without fanaticism.
07/11/2017 03:15:40 PM, Just TatianaThis man is not married. So, after several meetings with this man, we broke up, quarreled over an insignificant topic. During this time (from the time of separation to the present), this man periodically wrote to me on social networks, I was angry with him and ...
Discussion
the Internet is full of literature on the topic "how to fall in love with a man." but, to my great regret, there is not a single line about "how could he stop manipulating you, try to bind and make you dependent" (I'm already talking about my situation)).
so you, the author, don’t need unnecessary gestures, otherwise you don’t kick back ((
I don't think you are interested in him. He didn't have a spark. Wanted to check, checked and waved his hand. It seems to me that the question is different: how not to fall in love with a lover unrequitedly.
In general, I definitely didn’t make any impression on men. We communicated very well with this man, as kindred spirits, as friends, but he did not see the woman in me. Then I was forced to quit and, accordingly, we stopped communicating.
The guy turned out to be not a timid ten (which I also liked in absentia), agreed to get acquainted .... meeting today :-) I think we’ll sit down quickly All serious conversations you can only talk with your child, but not with a stranger. Your business.
Discussion
Well, if you are interested and worried, then why not talk. Tell me normally that you are worried about your daughter, so you wanted to get to know each other in order to sleep peacefully, trusting.
And they would talk like they would talk to any person, well, if the MCH has no horns and a tail.
I was always interested in my daughter's MCH and only with one I could not talk, but the topics would not help - he did not know Russian, and I did English. :)
And so calmly, like an adult, take responsibility, making the conversation easy for everyone.
You just want to make sure that your daughter, out of inexperience, does not contact a rogue. Well, convince, as you can.
All serious conversations you can only talk with your child, but not with a stranger. Other people's children are none of your business. :) With them only about the weather. :)
I read the answers here ... Come on, what the hell, it's scary now to get to know your parents.
And so, in general, I met the girl’s parents once, her mother met me by chance (I don’t know, really by chance or in quotation marks), when I saw the girl home, and she took out the trash. She invited me home, the girl insisted, as a result, I sat there for a bit. There was nothing special, there were no interrogations, there was just a light, relaxed conversation. Well, perhaps, the girl’s mother didn’t like my disapproval of the pop artists who danced there on TV.
Then her parents still often invited, yes, I also met her dad.
05.01.2015 16:33:44, some kind of crocodileYou can also play adults - tell the guy how cool and irreplaceable he is, that of course no one leaves, tell him after. Look for a compromise. Otherwise, suppressed discontent will accumulate and destroy both her and him. I got the impression that MCH is just not ...
Discussion
My opinion here is that the lady will be 18, exactly 18. Everyone always says, you will be 18, you will do whatever you want. And then the girl from under parental care goes under the guardianship of a guy. And I just want FREEDOM! To go where I want and with whom I want. She may just want to walk up (I'm not talking about debauchery - but about control). And the guy severely restricts her. That's the whole conflict.
Like a copy)))
I had the same one - caring, my mother kept saying that there would be an ideal husband, but I don’t appreciate and don’t understand yet
And jealous
And wept.
Now it's disgusting to remember what monster he raised out of me
And then I really thought that I was offending, that I was wrong ...
By the way, now he is a favorite of women and is hardly afraid of losing someone already))) and even more so crying and wallowing at his feet
We both benefited from those problems
There is nothing to help - just develop a guy, raising his self-esteem, do you need it?
You can also play adults - tell the guy how cool and irreplaceable he is, that of course no one leaves, tell after meeting with others how you missed him ... usually works with jealous
Well, lie. Because to aggravate, to speak directly, to fight for freedom and independence, it will be bad for everyone, one cries, the other suffers
I would talk on the topic "don't upset him" ... but it's unlikely that I did it in a kind way
Rather, something like this "don't hurt the baby, give me a rattle" .. but this is personal
I hate everything like "How can you do this, I love you!" Now I want to swing an ax right away
Is it true that after a long abstinence in men, the testicles begin to hurt? How do you experience silence? The loss of control over herself begins when a woman waits for a call from a man after. By the time the guy writes, she will already be angry as hell.
I want to tell you words of support, because I understand what you are talking about, unlike most of those who speak in your topics. My husband and I are happy. Yes, there is not enough sex, but there is a lot of good that makes me cherish this particular man.
Discussion
Girls (author and Everything will be fine)!
I want to tell you words of support, because I understand what you are talking about, unlike most of those who speak in your topics. I have exactly the same story - my husband needs less and less every year. Recently switched to once a month, I climb the wall. At the same time, I am young, beautiful, well-groomed and inventive in sex. There is no mistress. Well, in general, everything is like you.
As you can see, yes, such men exist. And apparently there are not so few of them - only in this conference - there are already three of us suffering. Plus those who have the same thing, but who did not speak out, plus the husbands of women who also need little, plus those who drink and fight and don’t remember about sex at all :), you can list for a long time.
Can such a marriage be happy? Yes maybe. My husband and I are happy. Yes, there is not enough sex, but there is a lot of good that makes me cherish this particular man. Pay more attention to the good things in your marriage, and remind yourself that these are not given for granted with your marriage certificate. Someone's husband is cheating, someone's mother-in-law drinks brains, someone lives on a beggarly salary ... Does it often happen that everything is good on all fronts? And does it happen at all? Does this mean that there are no happy marriages?
Never mind a "normal woman will find a way to seduce" performance. If a man needs sex once a month, then he can be promoted once or twice for sex that is excessive for him, but on a regular basis, twice a week will still not be. And it’s better not to defile in front of him in a red thong in such a situation - if he basically doesn’t want sex, any of your actions aimed at arousing him will strain him, remind him of his insolvency and that you have problems in intimate relationships .
What is a woman to do? Alas, it seems that to reconcile: (The husband will not become a sexual giant, even if you convey to him how important it is for you. Do not hesitate, he is aware. Changes are possible only if reduced libido is the result of some kind of illness that can be "Oysters, blowjobs and heart-to-heart talks definitely don't help. As always, the only thing we can change is our attitude to the situation. Especially with sex, this is true, because half of your suffering is the fruit of a modern culture that exaggerates the importance of sex in life.
There is no such thing as too much sex in a marriage :)
You have a special man. Egocentric. I think all your life with him should have already taught you how to deal with him or you would have faded from Eye contact no one needs. How do you let a man know you're interested? So you will attract the attention of men without looking at ...
Discussion
read the whole thread.
about the operation - I did an abdominoplasty, it is indeed a very painful operation, and very painful. If after a cesarean I got up on the second day and didn’t remember more about my seam, then after the correction of the muscles I lay in a layer of day 4, the pain was hellish. But! this is an operation not according to indications, but at will, so your husband should have been ready for pain.
in addition, in reality, for another month he will complain of pain and pulling sensations, he will not lift anything heavier than a loaf of bread, and it is very difficult to drive a car. so get ready to pity him for a long time.
but in essence your discontent - as I understand it, this discontent was not born yesterday .. after all, he requires attention even being healthy? so it is necessary to correct in the conservatory and look for the reasons for his whining much earlier. if we take into account that a person is essentially a whiner, then during the operation one should be prepared for his troubles, at least for his own peace of mind - take a vacation for a week at work or invite an assistant for a while. something like this.
Egoist, but before marriage he was the same. Tolerate if you can treat it with humor (I know it's hard). Good luck and strength. Does your husband have positive qualities? Why did you love him, love him. And selfishness is a negative quality. We are not all perfect.
What it takes to impress a woman: Compliment her, respect her, caress her, hug her, protect her, spend money on her, drink wine and feed her in restaurants.
Discussion
When God was handing out the brain and conscience - I stood in line for legs and boobs, but they ended, and therefore I got only f***ing and adventures... :)))
The best decoration of a man is a good female ass, confidently sitting on his neck.
So I didn’t get the impression that here the author is locked up in four walls and they don’t let her anywhere. But rather that she wants to go to more places than her husband wants - and here it is useless to demand complete coincidence and understanding. It just needs to take a while to warm up.
Discussion
I wanted to ask if you like this once a week or two, but it seems that it’s dull with this ... If you like it, I would be fine. Suppose that you establish relations, you will find a compromise. But if he does not listen to your desires ... bad. Or are there moves?
Discussion
I flirt a lot and often, but I don't need broken hearts at my feet and partners for sex. I get tremendous pleasure from the process. Flirting is not flirting, not building an eye, and not the promise of sex. If you like - this is sex itself and is when both parties enjoy the act of flirting. Everything must be sincere, this is not taught. For starters, just smile! It has never harmed anyone before. More ease of communication!
05/15/2009 12:55:11 PM, without registrationinteresting topic:) you are right that romantic relationships - absolutely do not necessarily mean a bed. you can just have fun and feel like a woman.
I recently discovered this ability myself. I've always used little things, but more intuitively. I almost never wear a neckline :) but to cheer, to regret, to say something kind, to make a compliment ... and most importantly - to smile! :) Do you often smile at your male colleagues? looking into the eyes, or looking at him .... all this is very easy, but the person must really evoke warm feelings in you, be interesting. I'm just interested in men, my husband has always been not enough for me (for communication, of course, nothing else), but I appreciate men in them and not colleagues. when I realized this for myself, I learned how to manage this option :) now I get attention when I need it, and from the one I want. and yes, everyone at work knows that I have warmer relations with some colleagues, but my reputation does not suffer.
Lack of attention from husband. Wife and husband. Family relationships. I don't think men like this kind of talk. Cause explicit jealousy, especially change, you also know your husband better. At all times, women fought for the attention of men, and did not reproach them for this.
Discussion
I'm no expert.. but my experience is that almost all couples go through this.
Another thing is how to take it all.
And you look at the situation from the other side.
It is now that your child has grown up, does not require much attention as before, and you suddenly remembered that you are a Woman ready for procreation and a new conception and birth of the family. We need flirting, falling in love, walking under the moon and, as a result, conception, etc. So nature laid in us women. But you do not give birth. But nature demands...
Now think back to yourself five years ago. Reb. little. You need stability in relationships, support, confidence and calmness from your husband. And sometimes even extra caresses annoy because you collapse from fatigue. And what kind of flirting is there?
Once to you. You should get enough sleep and raise offspring.
Or maybe the husband is now in such a phase of his life. Tired. He is not up to jealousy and flirting. He needs to feed you and the grown-up child. He needs stability and confidence in you and not stupid jealousy. Maybe support from you.
Alas .. not a coincidence of needs .. including sexual ones. It happens to almost everyone sooner or later.
Your need for affection is a prelude to sex. It wasn't enough for you.
It's your problems!
And as always, GOD sends us a test. There are a bunch of males nearby who just feel (sorry for being rude) a female who wants ...
Well, there is always at least one. You know there is a saying - the chicken does not want to, the rooster will not jump.
And so muzhiks feel women unsatisfied. They begin to look after, to conquer. Even sex is possible with her consent. Just what's next? Nothing...
Because no one needs extra obligations.
THEREFORE YOU have CLAIMS against your HUSBAND. OTHER GUYS WANT ME - but HE - SHELL DOES NOT WANT ME.
(hee..hee. like in the Comedy Club) And nature requires hormones for you.
If I were you, I would try to refresh my feelings with my husband - shake it up. A simple conversation will not achieve anything. I don't think men like this kind of talk.
To cause obvious jealousy, especially to change, is also fraught with a crisis in relationships and divorce. But to become a MYSTERY and unpredictable and desirable. This is the hardest part.
Remind him that YOU are not his property and you have such a stormy and interesting life. You know your husband better.
At all times, women fought for the attention of men, and did not reproach them for this.
And good looks are not enough...
But that's just my opinion...
04/25/2008 11:32:36 AM, LocalThis is how my marriage crisis started. I really regret now that I did not reciprocate the other MCH. The crisis has been going on for 5 years already ... and it’s getting worse and worse ... I don’t have the strength to divorce ... But I think that if I had changed then, then self-esteem would have increased at least. And even if the family broke up then, it would only be for the better ... tired of fighting for the love and attention of her husband for 5 years ... waiting for complements, help, understanding. Specifically, in my situation, it was necessary to break off relations at the first sign ...
25.04.2008 10:41:26, and I was like thatI discovered how to get attention.... Those sly men. About his own, about a girl's. Discussion of questions about the life of a woman in the family, at work ... a large number of men. You can, for example, go to the IT department, holding a 5 MB hard drive in your hands. Silently.
And not just to feed my wife in the morning and return to bed again :-)
Do you want freebie and efficient enough?
go to free trainings for networkers, oriflame is there, well, and so on. They teach it very well.
At one time, I was greatly helped by training at the IBM Training Center - the basics of sales (basic sales traning), a weekly program, various aspects of communication were sorted out - both in a personal meeting and in a telephone conversation. Special attention - self-presentation. The whole thing went on for the first half of the day, filmed on video, after dinner - it was sorted out in detail - bone by bone and with sand. Each movement was interpreted from the point of view of body language, and it was definitely found out what impression IT makes on others.
Along the way, tips were given on how to avoid the most common mistakes.
It really helped me a lot :-)
men pay attention to both the quality of clothing and makeup, but usually this is secondary ... Because in the case of "beautiful silly women" they will be attracted more by the body, and in the case of "interesting in communication stocky" (like you) they will be attracted more by the opportunity to get ...
Discussion
just Zose. Not about makeup and hair. Marlene Dietrich had huge hands, but wore gloves that hid this detostat, And her breasts looked like pouches, but she wrapped them in such a way that she had magnificent breasts in clothes.
Men perceive a woman as an image (in my opinion) imagine a beauty in a padded jacket and a girl of average appearance in an elegant dress with high heels with high-quality makeup and hair. Who is more attractive image. As far as I know, a lot depends on the outfit. If you look gorgeous, then the gait becomes even different, self-confidence appears and the men turn around and not only they, but also women. Although there were cases when they met me when I was in jeans and not made up, or in a skirt to the toes.
I don’t know about men, but personally I always pay attention to a woman’s makeup, her hair, her skin .. I like well-groomed women and girls, I think men do too :-) Hairstyle is such a thing, the main thing is that hair were clean, healthy, shiny, I don’t like pyramids on my head, I don’t like it when a woman uses a lot of varnish ...
It's not very pleasant to look at a girl with bad skin, who brightly paints and imposes a lot of tone, it's just a nightmare :-(I think that the main thing is healthy skin, hair ....
Personally, I don’t use decorative cosmetics very often, but I definitely use skin care products every day, then the skin just glows. an Indian or just a call girl, since my face is quite bright even without makeup ....
And my girlfriend can’t leave the house without makeup, because she is very pale, her hair is blond, her eyes are light, her skin is just transparent, so it all depends on the person....
I understand that the man you are interested in is an American??
And my current husband lived in Germany, and I live in Moscow. They also went to visit ... I 5 times before the wedding, and he went to Moscow once (didn’t like it (((().
And about marriage - we met in Ceylon, on the third day of our acquaintance, he said that he would like to continue relations with me after the vacation, to which I replied that then he should marry me, because. I will not be able to live in Germany in any other legal way (his presence in Russia was not discussed from the very beginning). Not wanting to offend me, he said OK. Although it was all more jokingly said ... And then I went to him, taking a significant amount of cash, opened a bank account in his city ... relations were actively developing ... six months later I was his wife ...
Now we have been together for almost 2.5 years, we have a 2 month old daughter, both are extremely happy, a real successful love marriage...
Is it correct to say that first impression of a person the most correct? Or vice versa, is the one who says that the first impression is deceptive right? How to make a good first impression and at the same time form the right impression of a person?
Numerous experiments and studies carried out in the West show that the first impression of a person is the most accurate and correct. Experts say that to determine our attitude towards a stranger, to determine the degree of his attractiveness, we need up to 4 minutes.
It’s hard to argue here, for the most part we all pay attention to the first impression, and it is this that affects our further perception of a person. If you are one hundred percent trusting your instinct, your intuition, then you will not open up to a person who did not like you at first sight. Therefore, if it is important for you to establish the necessary connections, to make acquaintance with a specific person, pay attention to creating a good first impression.
How to make a first impression
To make a good first impression on a particular person, the main thing you need to know is that a person chooses his friends in his own image. That is, whether a person will like you or not depends on the degree of similarity of your characters, interests and outlook on life. Even outward resemblance has an impact on the first impression. Therefore, the moment of adjustment to the interlocutor is important here (you can learn more about what the attachment technique is from the article - “ Ways to manipulate a person»).
Knowing the person in absentia, you can prepare for the meeting. But there are also universal first impression rules, to know and take into account which, in order to present oneself in the best light, is beneficial and useful.
Pay attention to appearance
The appearance and image of a person is what we pay attention to first of all.
An important component of the design of appearance is the style of clothing, which is considered as an image of a person's own "I". Assessing the style of a person’s clothing, and making a first impression about him, we pay attention to such features as:
- The neatness of clothes. A poorly dressed person usually evokes sympathy and a desire to help him, while a slovenly and untidy person - rejection and disgust;
- Appropriate clothing for the situation. It is clear that a tracksuit is not suitable for a business meeting, it looks ridiculous and may cause distrust among others. It is just as ridiculous to go to a club in a three-piece suit, or to a dinner party in ripped jeans.
- Compliance with established stereotypes. If you are a representative of the business world, give preference to a conservative style, but if you are a person of a creative profession, your appearance should speak of independence and individuality.
Assessing the attractiveness of a person, and forming the first impression of him, many pay attention to his face (look, smile, expression). An expressive face that radiates calmness, confidence and goodwill is considered attractive.
Posture plays an important role in the formation of the first impression. Good posture speaks of the confidence and optimism of a person, of his inner strength. Poor posture is a manifestation of low self-esteem, subordination and dependence.
An important factor in the first impression is movement and gestures. What you don't talk about shows up in them. A person feels tense or free by his gait. Gestures, body reaction will give out your temperament and state of mind.
- Open gestures speak of the desire for communication, of psychological openness. They appear in uncrossed and open positions of arms and legs, in a slightly raised head. If the hands are in motion, then these gestures are usually soft, smooth and rounded.
- Closed gestures indicate psychological closeness. They appear in the crossing of arms and legs, in the “lock position”, when the fingers are clenched into a fist. The head is lowered, the look is frowning, the hands can be hidden (under the table, in pockets, behind the back, etc.), all this looks like a defensive position.
Harmony in appearance, as you understand, is a combination of many different factors. Keep this in mind when establishing contacts with people.
In many ways, the voice is a reflection of a person's character. The way we speak affects our image in the eyes of others. We subconsciously, and even consciously associate the sound of the voice with specific personality traits. Even at moments when we do not see the interlocutor, but only hear him (for example, talking on the phone), we still form some kind of idea about him.
A shrill voice is associated with the hysteria of a person and his imbalance. Fast and confused speech betrays an insecure person. The languor of the voice says that the person is sensual, but cautious. A fool may seem the one whose voice sounds sluggish. A sonorous voice indicates a positive attitude, cheerfulness. And the voice of some people is so beautiful that you don’t even understand what they are saying.
We get a significant part of the first impression from the rhythm of speech and the timbre of the voice. In addition, analyzing the style and content, it is easy to get an idea of the cultural level of a person. You can also tell by the voice person's life experience about the degree of its development.
Learn to present yourself properly.
People rarely use self-promotion and self-promotion in order to express yourself. And it plays the most important role in making a positive first impression. Self-presentation is the ability to focus the attention of people around you on your obvious strengths and divert attention from your shortcomings. But you should not immediately talk about all your merits and virtues, it is better to try to win the favor of your new acquaintance with eloquence, originality of judgments, wit.
Show genuine interest in the other person
Even Dale Carnegie said that the most significant person for any person is himself. So, when you decide to demonstrate your charm, show a sincere interest in the person with whom you communicate. Ask him a couple of minor questions and be prepared to listen to a detailed answer (this will come in handy ability to listen to the interlocutor), do not interrupt. Show your interest in what he has to say. Be kind, but don't be coy!
Don't be intrusive
Do not rush things, for the first meeting it will be enough to have a neutral - restrained conversation. Do not immediately puzzle a person with requests or offer something. If the interlocutor says to you “Goodbye, it was nice to meet you,” do not insist on continuing the conversation.
Don't lie, only tell the truth
If you don't know the answer to a question being asked, be honest about it. Such frankness makes a good first impression and inspires only respect. Do not ascribe to yourself non-existent qualities and virtues, anyway, in the future you will have to admit that at the first meeting you exaggerated a little.
You won't get a second chance to make a first impression. It doesn't matter whether job interview, business meeting or first date, remember that first impression will remain for a long time, and it will take a long time before new information can change it.
P.S. Each of us has experienced wrong first impressions. It happens that at first people appear before us almost in the guise of an angel, but on examination they turn out to be unworthy. And vice versa, a person who did not make a worthy impression on us at the beginning becomes a best friend in the future. No one is immune from a mistake, but in order to avoid it, a person must be given a second chance, no matter what the first impression of him has been.
P.S.S. People who are accustomed to judging a person by specific cases do not pay much attention to the first impression. This must also be taken into account.
If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.
Be friendly and confident. When people see these qualities, they find that such a person is much easier to communicate with and more welcoming. If you're still in school, then shaking hands may not be the best way to start a conversation, but for adults, this is a good chance to show your openness. In some countries, traditions do not allow touching people of the opposite sex, so you should pay attention to this and choose a different way to greet a person. But most often it is quite appropriate to shake hands when meeting.
- Don't be afraid to be the first to say hello to strangers.
- Smile.
Watch your posture. Your posture can tell the people around you a lot about your mood and self-confidence. Try not to slouch - this way you give the impression of a closed and insecure loser. Keeping your back straight and standing with your head held high with your hand at hip level will give the impression of a strong, open and self-confident person.
Never fuss. Keep your arms relaxed along your body or place them on your knees. Do not show your own nervousness - no need to bite your nails, pull your hair or wrinkle a napkin in your hands. On the other hand, don't try to look overconfident - people may think you're arrogant and boastful.
Relax. Of course, posture is very important, but you don't have to look like a robot. Sit up straight, but don't stiffen up. They say that animals can feel fear, just as humans can feel your insecurity. Just be yourself. You don't have to go out of your way to impress someone, let your personality speak for itself.
Smile. Especially when you first met a person. It is not necessary to show a Hollywood smile, a polite, friendly smile will be enough. Try to smile naturally, if the smile is instantly replaced by a stony expression, people get the impression of insincerity and falseness. Try to give your interlocutor the opportunity to say something, most people are annoyed when a person chats incessantly, not allowing the interlocutor to insert words.
Look into the eyes of the interlocutor. Try to constantly look at the person you are talking to. Don't get distracted and don't look away, otherwise the person will feel that you are not interested in him. Sometimes, if a person has some kind of problem, such as strabismus, it is better not to focus your gaze on the person's eyes. In this case, it will be more natural to look at the mouth or nose of the interlocutor.
Dress appropriately for the situation. Always be yourself and show your personality. For this, it is not necessary to dress in accordance with the most fashionable trends. You want to impress yourself, so be yourself. Think about the length of the skirt and the depth of the neckline that are acceptable in this situation. It is also important to pay special attention to keeping your clothes clean and tidy. Don't forget about accessories - they can tell a lot about you.
Show a sense of humor. A person who goes out of his way to be funny usually achieves the exact opposite goal. People with a good sense of humor behave naturally and sincerely show their wit. Do not use flat jokes and ambiguous phrases.
Get the person interested. Use common sense when choosing a topic for conversation. It is unlikely that a man will impress a woman if he starts talking about how much beer he can drink or describes a recent fight in a bar. Similarly, most men are unlikely to want to listen to a girl talk about what a cute puppy she has in the house, or how she loves to buy new shoes. Remember, you are trying to get the person's attention. Intrigue him, arouse interest in yourself. Here are some good talking points:
- Interesting facts or tips.
- Music and cinema.
- Questions.
- Remember, never speak harshly about other people's beliefs or religious and ethical values.
Let the other person talk about themselves."Tell me, what do you like to do in your free time?" In a conversation with a woman, it would be appropriate to compliment her appearance, for example: "This color suits you so well." If you don't know exactly what to say to a person, never say a compliment just to say something. People will easily recognize your insincerity and it will offend them.
Find a common topic of conversation. If you are at a party, you can ask the interlocutor if he knows other guests and talk about this topic.
If you came for an interview, it is better to find information about this company in advance. In fact, the more you learn about the enterprise, the better. Try to hide tattoos if you have them. They rarely make a good impression on the bosses and clients of the company. However, you shouldn't act like this. like you know everything in the world.
If your teeth are in bad shape, find a way to fix them. Unhealthy teeth cause disgust. You may need to find overtime work to be able to pay for dental services - unhealthy teeth will ruin any good impression!
- If you have uneven teeth, you need to consult an orthodontist and get braces. Remember to brush your teeth twice a day to keep your breath fresh.
Use perfume with great care. This can say a lot about you. It is important not to overdo it here. You may really like the scent of perfume, but the smell of perfume may be unpleasant or even allergic to other people. With these considerations in mind, it might be better not to use perfume at all. If you still want to apply perfume, it is better to spray it in the air and, after waiting a few seconds, pass through the fragrant cloud.
Take care of hygiene. This is very important, especially for teenagers. These tips may seem obvious, but shower daily and always wear clean, tidy clothes. Remember to brush your teeth twice a day and always use an antiperspirant deodorant, especially if you have an important meeting that makes you nervous.
- Girls can put some concealer on their face. Do not overuse cosmetics, it looks unattractive. If you're going to a formal event, you can put on some light makeup using lip gloss or lipstick, mascara, and sometimes eyeshadow and eyeliner.
End the conversation on the right note. Let the person want to lay it. Let me understand. that you had a good time and hope to meet the person again. You can even send a short message when you get home. Even if people have made a good impression of you. it is important for them to make sure that you also enjoyed communicating with them. It is important for them to get confirmation of this. However, don't be too intrusive!
Be yourself. Do not try to pretend to be someone else, otherwise you will be forced to continue to maintain a false image. Be yourself. this advice may seem trite. but it's true! Never lie to people about yourself and be honest. If people find out that you cheated on them, they will feel bad and are unlikely to forgive you.
