Stress is a diverse reaction of the body in response to any emotionally super-significant event, both of a “negative” nature (what causes fear, irritation or is perceived as a threat), and “positive” (touches to the “depth of the soul”). However, for many people, both negative and happy news can be a source of instability. Anger and unbridled joy in equal measure can be the culprits of the fact that we cannot properly focus and maintain optimal performance. Let's look at what stress is, how to increase stress resistance and what significance this skill has for other psychological difficulties.

Also, to understand that you are under the influence of stress, you need to detect the following symptoms:

Of course, the symptoms alone can be signs of other problems. But, remember that chronic stress is often the cause of a number of somatic diseases that doctors have been trying to cope with for many years to no avail.

Types of stress

However, stress is not always a destructive force or so-called distress. Psychologists also distinguish eustress: this is a normal dose of a "starting impulse" that brings any organism out of a state of complete rest and forces it to act. For example, if we lie in bed all day, feeling hungry will be that eustress for us that will make us get up and climb into the refrigerator or cook something.

Depending on what caused stress, it is divided into the following types:

Things that cause stress are called stressors or stressors. They, in turn, are divided into:

• objectively beyond our control (price, inflation, political upheavals);
• past events that we do not let go (prolonged experience of breaking up relationships or experiencing past failures);
• irrational management and experience of real events (inability to prioritize or follow a plan, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, etc.)

Stress and difficult economic situation

There are things that are out of your control. Such is the general difficult economic situation of the country. And here it is important to understand that the stronger and longer you will be in a state of stress, the more difficult it will be for you to find the right and adequate way out for your case. Therefore, you should translate a global problem that you cannot influence into a real, your personal one.

For example, the global crisis lowered my personal income level. Therefore, instead of worrying about abstract things, we are looking for real ways to overcome our problems. This method will still be remembered when describing options for dealing with such experiences. Its essence is to divide a large problem, which is difficult to approach, into a number of small ones that can be solved.

But, it is worth remembering that stress is only one episode, in order for it to turn into a disorder, our personal wrong influence is necessary. For example, any trouble in public transport will be forgotten immediately by one person, and by another it will be scrolled in the head more than a dozen times, causing obvious physiological additions in the form of a change in breathing and cardiac activity. Therefore, it is important to think about how to increase stress resistance.

Stages of stress

Stress develops dynamically, manifesting itself in the degree of increasing internal tension. Therefore, the following stages of its development can be distinguished:

It is worth remembering that stress is just a reaction to information or a situation. And this reaction can and should be corrected. In order for stress not to go to the last stage and not affect physiology, it is worth talking about the four main points of increasing stress resistance.

How to cultivate stress tolerance

To increase stress resistance, as in any business, it is worth learning this step by step. Firstly, in this way you get a clear understanding of what else you can try and what it can give. On the other hand, the more reliable information you have, the greater the choice of ways to overcome such unpleasant situations will be. In addition, learning in the form of general development also contributes to the development of a correct assessment of events.

After all, the less knowledge a person has in any field, the more he is under stress. After all, what is unknown is perceived by our body as dangerous. So, training can take place on the following points, which are proposed below.

1. Proper timing. Sit in a chair, relax and think about the areas you see yourself in: mother, daughter, beloved woman, working bee ... Highlight everything, think that you are a friend, hostess and just a woman planning or relaxing. Write down all these "I" parts of you. Now think about how many percent of the time each of your selves wants. Do not forget that there can only be 100% of the time. Did you get over 200%? This is a sure way to get under the influence of stress without having time to do anything! Make sure that all components fit into 100%. It can be painful and difficult at times, but once you've reallocated your time, draw it out and hang it in a prominent place: it's a stress-free action plan. You must understand that "it is impossible to embrace the immensity." Sometimes this happens when someone close begins to demand much more attention, and your conscience begins to gnaw at you. Take another look at the picture: this is mathematics - an exact science. Total time cannot be more than 100%. And, if you want to go on about and give your loved one more of the time allotted to him, realize that this will necessarily entail a “failure” in other areas.
2. Self control and positive attitude. As soon as you realize that you are “boiling”, try to immediately take control of your condition: disconnect from the irritant, imagine yourself on the sea coast, feel how your breathing and pulse return to normal. Do not imagine a negative outcome of an event, on the contrary, clearly imagine a picture of a favorable outcome. Moreover, try to respond to everything with a bit of irony or with a slight smile.
3. Inner rod. Imagine that you have a strong core inside you. Nothing in the whole world can bend or damage it. This should be done once or twice a day. You can in the morning and in the evening, being alone with yourself. The image will help to consolidate this feeling for all real life.
4. Emotion management. It is better to start managing your emotions even at the beginning of the conflict. After all, even this terrible grandmother, who spoiled your mood in the morning, did this because she was very unhappy. Have pity on her, don't stoop to her level. Well, if a hurricane begins to rage inside, it should be released, but that's right: in the gym, in the garden or on a hike. By the way, in this paragraph lies the answer to the question how to respond to rudeness? Very often, people who break down and are rude to you are already “prepared” by other stress: interpersonal or unsolvable-global. In a word, they are in “combat readiness No. 1”. Just a small spark is enough for you to hear a lot of unpleasant things in your address. But, it is important for you to understand that the main problem is not at all with you. And, responding to such an attack, you are involved in the process of "downloading energy from you." Don't you feel that after such quarrels you turn into a "squeezed lemon"? There is a good method - "cocoon". Imagine mentally that you are wrapped in a protective cocoon, all curses and words - you do not care. This exercise can be done even before leaving the house. And how to respond to rudeness? That's right, no way! This is not for you...
5. Rational approach. When we see a huge problem, we give up and put it on the back burner, feeling annoyed and then deeply stressed. This is the main mistake. Break the problem into small pieces and solve them without delay. For example, you want to lose 30 kg. This is a lot and therefore you still hesitate and constantly experience remorse, ridicule and stress. Break these 30 kg into 3 and write yourself a program for 10 months. Agree, it's much more realistic.
6. Proper nutrition and activity. Improper nutrition actually releases a lot of unhealthy substances, but simply poisons our body. Naturally, it does not feel very good. Even mild stress affects the hormonal background, and if we do not give physical activity, all these hormones begin to burn the body from the inside. Therefore, a portion of vegetables, fruits with a bright skin, as well as walking, jogging and playing sports help to release the body from the stress accumulated during the day.
7. Tension control. Try to know the measure in everything. Tension must be adequate, and overwork never leads to anything good. Remember to leave yourself some time just to meditate or make plans.

How to deal with stress in the workplace?

How to develop stress resistance in yourself? There are golden rules for managing stress in the workplace. Here are the main ones:

Hobbies and change of scenery – the best doctor

When dealing with stress, it is very important to be able to switch. So, if you are experiencing information stress or emotional stress, switch to physical activity. If stress has become physiological (physical), rest your soul in a circle of significant people. And yet - switch to those for whom you are trying. What's the point of "earning a million for the family" if at the same time she (this same family) does not see you. Naturally, they will not appreciate your efforts in due measure, and you will experience a lot of stress.

Traveling and hobbies also help to cope well. If you want to combine a hobby with targeted stress relief, go to art therapy - anti-stress or yoga, where breathing practices will help you find peace and harmony. A good example of getting rid of such experiences with the help of art therapy is a method of changing color saturation and objectifying stress.

First, we depict the stress itself. It is obtained not as an abstract concept that cannot be "caught by the tail", but in an absolutely real way. And since it is something real, it can be changed. To do this, we choose brighter, joyful and light colors, with which we change the color of the entire picture, thus changing the emotional component of experiences.

Breathing practices during stress are aimed at restoring the balance of the whole organism. When performing them, it is important to feel the restoration of harmony. One of the express practices is the harmonization of yin and yang. Five deep breaths are taken through the nose and exhalations through the mouth. With the last three exhalations, we try to reach our toes with our fingers. Then we sit down, relax and make respiratory calls of chest breathing, and then - abdominal breathing for ten breaths and exhalations. We finish the practice while standing, stretching upwards on the inhale, “towards the sun”.

Of course, some moments are difficult to do the first time. However, stress management is the same process as learning mathematics or literature. Learn, try, choose your method and everything will definitely work out. And, if you want to read more on a topic of interest, check out the writings of Selge G. and The Psychology of Stress by L.A. Kitaev-Smyk. Although many new and interesting works are now available.

Stress in itself is not something terrible, as we used to think about it. This is just a reaction of the body to external or internal influences. Moreover, absolutely anything: both favorable and unfavorable, both strong and weak.

In this sense, our whole life is a continuous stress. Because any irritant brings the body out of balance. After that, he mobilizes his forces in order to, having reacted to this stimulus, restore the lost balance as quickly as possible (this is why it is so difficult for us to leave our comfort zone and master something new). In fact, stress as a phenomenon is the body's ability to adapt to constantly changing conditions.

Stress: you can, if you are careful

negative stress(any unpleasant, tragic event in our lives) in the case of a long stay in it can lead to insomnia, irritability, anxiety, depression and various physical ailments.

And although positive stress(falling in love with someone, successfully passing exams, a gold medal in competitions, a brilliantly completed difficult task, all sorts of pleasant surprises, etc.) gives energy, inspiration, strength and desire to take new heights, they also cannot be abused: “overdose” can lead to the same unpleasant consequences as getting stuck in negative stress.

So, any stress is good only in small doses. In this case, it increases resistance to various stimuli, and as a result, we learn to cope with difficulties and successfully overcome obstacles that are encountered on the path of life. In other words, we become stress-resistant.

Stress tolerance- this is not some special impenetrability, but the ability to properly respond to stress and work with it. How exactly? This is a further story.

How to get out of stress?

O external ways relaxation and stress relief (such as heart-to-heart communication, fresh air, movement, physical activity, trips to nature, fussing with animals, relaxing music, interesting films, a change of scenery, etc.) has already been written a lot. So now let's focus on internal, psychological ways exit from stress.

Method number 1. Listen to the body and "drain" the state

The first method - basic, mandatory, without which all the others will give an incomplete and temporary effect - is the acceptance of the situation and one's feelings about it. The easiest and fastest way to do this is by listening to your own body.

You should focus on the sensations that have appeared and stay in them for as long as it takes to “let go”. If emotions are running high and it is difficult to focus on sensations, you can make it easier for yourself:

• First, start breathing slowly and deeply, as in meditation.
• Secondly, try to slightly (not completely!) distance yourself from yourself, that is, observe yourself as if from the outside, but at the same time continuing to read your bodily sensations and living them.

These techniques will help reduce the intensity of passions, and it will be easier to live emotions, and therefore, accept and assimilate.

Of course, it is best to set aside time specifically for working with the body. But if this is not possible (for example, if you are in the office), it is good to resort to a rhythmic alternation between doing the current affairs and paying attention to bodily sensations (even if you can allocate only one minute of time for the latter). Worked hard - experienced stress; still worked hard - still experienced stress.

The main thing is not to dismiss heavy sensations, not to push them into the far corner, not to "fill" them with something pleasant, but to let them arise, manifest themselves in full force and gradually fade away. Then they will not get stuck in us in the form of bodily clamps, resentments, fears, but will cut off their own, sink into oblivion and will not interfere with our lives ...

It is also possible to reduce the intensity of feelings and emotions by “draining” the current state - what is now most disturbing and haunting. There are two simplest options.

First - say it all in a conversation with some close person to whom you have unlimited trust and who is able to endure this negativity, or at a psychologist's appointment (listening to this is part of his job).

The second option, more affordable and at the same time no less effective, is the so-called free writing. Its essence is as follows: we take a sheet of paper, a pen and write, pour everything that is in our hearts onto the paper. We do not print on a computer, but we write by hand. Not embarrassed, not thinking about literacy and not worrying that someone might see and read it. After you finish writing, you can burn or tear your writing into small pieces.

The main thing in both options is to get rid of what worries you, to throw off this heavy burden...

Let's take a common and very painful for many example: in front of all your colleagues, your boss scolded and humiliated you, and even completely unfairly - he simply plucked evil.

We ask ourselves the question: “What is happening in my body right now?” And we answer it: “It’s like it burned me with ice water, everything inside is inflamed, my heart burns and hurts, it’s like a sharp dagger was stuck in it, it’s like it’s tearing me apart from the inside ...” We remain in this state, we live these sensations for as long as we have enough strength. endure them. Well, we periodically return to them until they fade away.

So, our task is to let the bodily sensations that arise in response to a stressful event manifest, and allow ourselves to fully live them (instead of driving them further and deeper).

You can help yourself to do this by speaking out in a confidential conversation or pouring everything that is torn from the soul onto paper.

Method number 2. Concentrate on the moment

The second way that will help you get yourself out of stress is the ability to concentrate on only one thing at a particular moment in time. In other words - do not scatter, do not scatter your attention and do not waste your energy in vain.

What usually goes on in our heads? We do one thing, while regretting something in the past and at the same time worrying about what might happen in the future. How much of our attention goes to what we are doing here and now? A little...

On the contrary, concentrating on one thing allows us to remove everything superfluous and distracting from our heads. As a result, we get tired less, we manage to do much more, and the quality of the work performed is much higher. This happens due to full involvement in the only thing that we are busy with at the moment, due to emotional involvement in it. Due to the full presence of "here and now".

And the satisfaction, the joy that we get from this approach to work is also much greater. At this time, we find ourselves on a wave, in a stream, and stress is overboard. After all, it is simply impossible to be on the wave and suffer from stress at the same time - these are opposite states. Even if some elements of stress still penetrate the "here and now", then the force of their impact is very, very weak.

By the way, it is very important not to lie on the couch, feeling sorry for yourself and cursing everything and everyone when something unpleasant happens, but to act, to do something. Lying on the couch, endlessly chewing on what happened and self-pity is a sure road to depression, self-destruction and deepening stress. And any movement, action, work (albeit first and through force) does not allow you to sink into depression, reduces stress and helps to gradually get out of it, returning us to the “here and now”.

For example, after an unpleasant incident with your boss, you should not rush out of habit to lament and mourn your miserable life, but make a list of mandatory tasks for today and start doing it. And not anyhow, not with a sense of offended dignity, not with a desire to prove how white and fluffy we really are and how deeply wrong our boss was (let him burn with shame for his act), but with respect for the business we are doing, with the desire to promote and develop it. Try to do today's part of the work as well as your abilities and abilities allow.

So, another way to overcome stress is the ability to be “here and now”. And to stay in the present, without slipping into the past or the future, any activity will help - provided that you are completely immersed in it.

Method number 3. Rank cases

The third way, which complements the second, is the ranking of cases. I mean the following. For one day, you should choose only one main thing, on which the main efforts will be directed. This is necessary in order, again, not to keep several important things in mind at once, not to rush from one to another and not worry about their implementation. That is, it is necessary to minimize the level of stress.

But around the main thing you can build less significant things. For example, you can alternate between more complex and easier tasks so as not to run out of steam in half an hour.

Attention! To reduce stress, it is necessary to perform any business - both important and not very important - in a state of "here and now", with the maximum possible "presence", inclusion and involvement.

For example, let's say that your main task today is to write an article about the relationship between children and parents for a well-known magazine, edit it and send it for approval. Less important tasks that can be done later are to answer questions and feedback on previously published materials and sort through the accumulated mail.

So, the “one day, one big thing” approach, plus doing lesser tasks to the best of your ability, will also help you reduce stress in an environmentally friendly way.

Method number 4. Switch attention to benefits

The fourth way to deal with stress is to work with focus. Whatever happens in life - no matter how traumatic it is for you - the focus should not be on your heartache, not on your grievances, not on your disappointments, but on the lesson that can be learned from this situation.

It should be borne in mind that switching attention is not the same as pushing unpleasant sensations into a distant box! It is important not to be indignant, not offended, not to play the role of an innocent victim, but to perceive what is happening as feedback: this is what we did not succeed, this is where we did not work, this is what we did not take into account, this is a person you can rely on, but this is better not deal with at all. So, next time, if a similar situation arises, you should do this and say this, seek advice from such and such a person or ask for help from this colleague.

That is, we need to analyze what happened, draw conclusions that will help to cope with a similar situation in the future or prevent it altogether, accept what happened (see method No. 1) and continue to live on, without reproaching ourselves for the mistakes made and without humiliating our own dignity.

And in the evenings, before going to bed, it would be nice to list what you are grateful for this day - regardless of what happened that day. This will help direct the vector of attention to the positive.

This way of dealing with stress is especially relevant if emotions overwhelm you so that they do not allow you to focus on anything else. In fact, it allows you to “slow down” before performing the next task, at least partially reduce the intensity of passions in the soul, begin to accept what happened, get involved in the present and tune in to work.

For example, in the case of the boss who yelled at you, we can conclude that the boss is a person of mood, and if he is not in a good mood, it is better not to catch his eye. And conduct your affairs in such a way that no justified claims could appear against you: all articles must be written and submitted on time, not a single review should go unnoticed and not a single letter should be unanswered.

So, switching the focus of attention from suffering and resentment to the good that the traumatic situation brought with it, and gratitude for the lessons taught, change the outlook on what happened and the internal mood, and also help to cope with stress.

Well, in conclusion, let's sum up all of the above. What to do to weaken the power of stress, get out of it and develop your stress tolerance? To do this, you need to learn to accept and live the sensations caused by a stressful situation, fully engage in the “here and now”, correctly distribute the daily load (remember the “one day - one main thing” approach) and shift the focus of attention from perceiving yourself as a victim of circumstances to extracting important lessons from these very circumstances.

Editorial

The main thing in stress is to curb your emotions before they overwhelm you. Psychologist Olga Yurkovskaya advises ways to remain fearless in a stressful situation:

In the life of a modern person (especially if he lives in a big city) there is a lot of stress. This must be accepted as a fact that we cannot change. And where there is stress, sooner or later, as on fertile soil, anxiety grows. How to reduce the level of anxiety and wean yourself from the bad habit of “winding up” problems, the psychologist knows Yaroslav Voznyuk: .

Stress is the fate of every person, but it is especially difficult to cope with it for those whom nature has awarded with high sensitivity. An external irritant, which another would simply not pay attention to, can become real torture for a highly sensitive person. How can such a person survive in this unfriendly world, advises a psychologist-psychotherapist Dinara Tairova: .

Firstly, stress resistance is the ability to be calm and perform your task under stress (when distracted, trying to mentally suppress, or influence).

Secondly, stress resistance is one of the important characteristics of an alpha male. That is, Men in the masculine sense of the word: leader, chief. Clear and bold.

Thirdly, without it, not only in a street or school confrontation, but also in business, in a corporation. Let's say a competitor wants to stop you from getting the job you want by spreading rumors about you, or even directly criticizing your plans at a meeting. Wants you to break or retreat. Stress resistance will help to perceive it all as the buzzing of a fly behind glass. The fly is visible, but almost inaudible, and it is separated from you by transparent armor. Your inner armor. That's what stress tolerance is.

Stress resistance is also needed in a street fight so that your hands do not shake, your legs do not go numb, so as not to be distracted by thoughts that it is scary, that there are a lot of them, etc.

This is a universal quality: you can develop stress resistance in training, using hand-to-hand combat methods, the acquired skill will be useful in negotiations in business and in personal communication.

You can train it through intellectual methods. And such stress resistance will also help you in a street conflict. It is good to try both methods, they are complementary and provide a "golden mean", a comprehensive training used together.

The intellectual method is widely known and often used in universities (game like "Brain Ring"). The original version is known as "What? Where? When?". The bottom line is that a person must complete the task (guess the answer) under conditions of powerful stress (time limit, nervousness due to the desire to win, screams of team members). Under such conditions, it is not easy - especially for the team captain - to choose the right answer. But this is training under stress. It will give hardening, the skill of mental work with external interference and the skill of working in a team.

Another well-known variant that, for obvious reasons, cannot be played in a university is the game "Who wants to be a millionaire?". Each viewer, when watching these programs, at least once in his life, gave the correct answer from the very first seconds or guessed the correct option when the player separated the last question from a million, and then wondered why they could not? It's so easy!

This is the essence of the stress technique - the impact of stress factors that impair mental or motor abilities. As a person, lying on the couch, it is easy to give the correct answers - and it is very difficult in the hall, under the eye of the public, with time limits, with the prize being overvalued (it is also “a log at a height of two meters”).

So it is in street self-defense - it is easy to carry out beautiful tricks in a cozy gym, but what about a dark street, slippery asphalt and approaching subjects who do not know what is in their pockets? Excitement in both cases is inevitable. And even if a person is very smart, but does not know how to control himself, then he will lose in the first case. In the second, even if he is trained, but does not know how to neutralize stress factors, he will also lose.

Therefore, in life, often the pinnacle of success is reached not by the one who is more gifted, but by the one who is more stress-resistant.

Indeed, in our daily life there are a lot of stressors that want to prevent us from achieving our goal. And the supervalue of the prize is a success in life, wanting to achieve which, a person is so worried that sometimes he makes a mistake. And the limit of time - our life is short. And the attention of others, who will either admire you and set an example for children, or despise you. All life is a game. Or fight. To whomever. And you have to be prepared to win.

Resilience is not a newfangled invention. She has always been popularly known as "thick-skinned". There has always been "psychological training" in sports and combat training. It's the same topic.

A writer under the pseudonym "Viktor Suvorov", describing his training in the GRU special service in the 70s of the XX century, mentioned stress resistance training: a person is given a piece of paper with some text and a task - for example, circle the letters "o", underline the letters " e", check the box above the letters "a". A time limit is given - for example, 2 minutes. Time has passed, and here the interference begins. For example, a recording is turned on, the voice on which yells: “Underline the“ o ”! Circle "a"! Put a tick over the "e"! - trying to knock it down. Or, in general, a certain person tries to tear out a sheet of paper, push it under the arm, or say something.

The same training can be blitz chess, which must be played with a hard time limit.

Some children inherit stress tolerance from their parents when they are raised. They can give the offender in the eye, not pay attention to someone's hiss. Growing up, they are already stress-resistant in business and at work in a large firm - they cannot be frightened by intrigues and threats. "Since in their youth they have heard more than once:" We will catch you with a crowd, "or" I will catch you somewhere and pee with a knife " "They have grown natural armor for themselves and now they calmly perceive threats. Fear will not be able to find a place in their thoughts, and distract them from business, or spoil their mood, make them lose heart. They are cheerful and confidently go to the goal.

But often, due to imperfect upbringing, the child does not receive resistance to stress, and this hinders him in adulthood. Then you can use the above methods and learn stress resistance yourself. After all, man became the king of nature due to his intellect and mind, and not due to natural reflexes and muscles.

MENSBY

4.3

How to become stress-resistant and strong as flint? Getting rid of the increased stress of the body will allow you to become more cool, calm, confident and happy. Nothing can knock you down!

If you realize that you are starting to get nervous, you may well take some measures against stress right away. But what? Erik Larssen talks about this in his new book Now! Calm. The control. Deep breath. Let's get started!

How to deal with stress

If you want to get rid of stress, you must first believe that it is possible - that you are able to cut off the feeling of stress from your daily life. Stress can be dealt with if you so desire.

If a samurai warrior, whose life is in danger, can cope with this, then you can too. If Lise from Trondheim, who has a full-time job, four children and a seriously ill husband, can do it, then you can too. If a top-notch athlete who trained for eight years to run ten seconds in the Olympic 100m final can do it, then so can you. And here are a few ways that work. Try a few different ones and choose the one that suits you.

Recognize stress

To get rid of stress, it is first important to realize that you really experience it, constantly or periodically. It is impossible to get rid of what is not recognized. Then you will gradually learn to recognize it in advance and be able to think and act in such a way as to minimize or completely eliminate it.

By raising awareness in this way, you are already halfway done.

One thing at a time

The samurai must fight the person in front of him. It is unlikely that he will be lucky if he is worried about other enemies that will attack after this, or about how he will get home.

Once you've prioritized the most important task and started working on it, focus only on that task. Once you're done with it, you can think about the next one. Doing several things at the same time is simply impossible. This is obvious, and at the same time it is difficult to come to terms with this conclusion. But you have to try.

If you manage to think only about what you are doing right now, not only will you be less nervous. The quality of your work will also improve. You will remember all the important nuances better, become more creative and be able to recognize opportunities and good solutions more easily.

Think of the worst

If you're nervous about making a mistake, try imagining the worst case scenario. Can you continue to live with this? How will you proceed in such a case? As a rule, it turns out that everything is not so bad. You can very well live with it and move on.

Having weighed the situation in this way, you return to the thought of what you should do. You may be comforted by your newfound knowledge that the worst-case scenario isn't really all that bad.

Do you remember what you were nervous about last week? Or three years ago? As a rule, we experience stress because of the little things. Demand more of yourself, be better, do your best, but don't be nervous.

Planning and design

Stress, procrastination, and order are naturally closely related. After all, you are not nervous about what you have already done - you are worried about what you have not done. You should learn to plan your time and make to-do lists.

Stress arises mainly from the fact that you are not in control of your tasks and activities.

Feelings of lack of control can consume you. You will feel like everything is falling apart. Gradually, this feeling can turn into panic fear. At such times, you need to hold on to something reliable: a to-do list or a daily planner that details all your plans.

Find a role model

Another way to deal with stress in your body is to learn from someone else. A few weeks ago, we accidentally locked our sleeping daughter in the car along with the key. Realizing what a mistake we had made, we stood dumbfounded in front of the car. I said, "It can't be." I felt myself getting stressed. How could such stupidity be allowed?

But I was able to recognize stress: I know what sensations it causes in the body, I know how at that moment panicky thoughts begin to overwhelm you (you behave like a frightened child), and I quickly replaced this sensation with another. I thought of Marius, the Marine I worked with in Bosnia. He impressed me with his ability to remain calm in all situations. And I thought, standing in front of the car and looking at the sleeping, unsuspecting daughter inside, that now I must be a little Marius. As a result, I acted more calmly and gave myself time to think, “What is the best thing I can do right now?”

Yes, there is such a situation. What matters is how you deal with it. Trying to "be Marius" suddenly made things easier.

Marius thought, assessed the situation, took a deep breath and found a well-thought-out solution, taking into account the circumstances. He often smiled, even in situations that seemed stressful to me. And now I have done what Marius did. In fact, of course, the problem was solved simply: I called the car dealer. Unfortunately he didn't have the right key, but he helped us take out the windowpane and our little daughter was perfectly happy. With or without stress, situations resolve sooner or later. But no stress is better. Be unperturbed.

Breathe deeply

Another useful stress reliever is to take two or three deep breaths, just like a samurai warrior or a two-year-old child does. Two-year-olds don't get nervous. Life is what is happening now. They do not think about the past and the future, they "relax the press" and unconsciously use the breath as a tool.

Smile and say to yourself, "I am unperturbed."

Priorities

To be effective, your to-do lists must be in order of priority. Put what matters most first and act accordingly. So you will be less nervous!

If you have a lot to do and you feel like you need to do it all at the same time, then the only reasonable solution is to stop and take a break to soberly assess what things are really important.

Ask yourself, “What is the most important and best thing I can do right now?”

And then just do it, with the confidence that you settled on the best result. If this means you'll be late for something, just alert the people concerned and do the most important thing first.

Visualize

Imagine situations in which you would normally get nervous, but this time in your mind movie you should be completely unperturbed. If you're in for a merciless samurai battle, turn on this movie in your head and watch how you successfully move forward, solving one problem at a time and dealing with the difficulties that arise.

You make a list of good ideas, smile, and keep everything under control. It is best if this visualization contains both what you want to feel and what you are going to hear in the situations that await you.

If you want to find inner strength, you must become calmer. A person with inner strength is not nervous. Try it. It's easier than you think.

To develop stress resistance, you need desire and perseverance!

If you have had to look for a job, then you are familiar with such an item as “stress resistance”, which is often indicated in the requirements for a candidate for a vacant position. In our age, when the pace of life is accelerating every day, when the volume of information we receive is increasing and the number of contacts with strangers is constantly increasing, “strong nerves” are needed. And it is quite reasonable to select stress-resistant employees for work. But what about someone who gets upset over every little thing? Can stress tolerance be developed? And what is it anyway?

What is stress tolerance

Stress tolerance- this is a set of personal qualities of a person, thanks to which he is able to endure overloads (intellectual, volitional and emotional). In other words, a stress-resistant person is able to calmly "survive" the wrath of his superiors, urgently solve a complex production problem and endure the unfair claims of the client without any particular harmful consequences for his health and the people around him. But how can one withstand overload, not be offended by injustice, and at the same time remain calm and balanced?

Resilience - an innate quality?

People tend to react to extreme life situations with a feeling of fear, anxiety, excessive excitement, or vice versa, a state of stupor and inhibition.

But some of us are emotionally more resilient and can control our emotions. They know how to mobilize their internal resources and thus overcome a stressful situation without a negative impact on the body. Unfortunately, not all people have high emotional stability. Scientists argue that this skill is a little-changing personality trait.

“Psychologists have established that the number of emotionally stable people, in such a special understanding of this concept, is limited - there are only 25-30% of them in the world. They believe that people of extreme professions should be emotionally stable: the military, firefighters, astronauts. Others can do emotionally demanding work for a while, but then they usually lose their disability and health.

But I want to note that the manifestation of emotional stability is not only the ability of a person to successfully overcome extreme circumstances, but also the desire to behave emotionally intelligently in everyday life. Emotional intelligence is another important personality trait that, fortunately, can be mastered if you put in the effort. Emotional intelligence is based on the ability of a person to understand his emotions and the reasons that give rise to them, the ability to understand the emotions of other people and take them into account in communication, the ability to regulate volitional qualities, set yourself up for active work and maintain friendly relations with others. Emotional intelligence performs a stress-protective function.- says Eleonora Nosenko, Doctor of Psychology, Professor, Corresponding Member of the Academy of Pedagogical Sciences of Ukraine.

So, we can change our emotional intelligence and increase emotional intelligence. To do this, we must learn to understand the emotions and motives of our own and other people's actions.

We develop stress resistance

To resist stressful situations, you need to learn how to consciously get out of difficult situations, give yourself the opportunity to have a good rest and relax, and also have an activity “for relaxation” in reserve, doing which you can “overload”.

To develop resilience, you need to:

• Change your attitude to what is happening around you. Learn to understand the motives and emotions of other people. And, proceeding from this, calmly respond to the evolving situation.

• Learn to let off steam. Some people consider reserved people to be stress-resistant, but this is not always the case. Often such people simply hide their emotions. And the negative accumulates and destroys a person. Therefore, you need to be able to dump negative emotions.

• Try to get enough rest. Make time for rest. Go out into nature, go to the movies and concerts, read.

• Workout. Physical activity relieves stress and anxiety.

“Any anxiety needs to be translated into a motor component. Anxious in the soul - do not eat cakes. It is better to go outside, breathe fresh air, move around. Anxiety is an ancient feeling that occurs when there is some kind of danger. In ancient times, people ran away from danger. So we need to translate anxious sensations into muscle movements, ”- says MD, Professor, Academician of the Academy of Sciences of Higher Education, Head of the Department of Psychiatry of the Faculty of Postgraduate Education of the Dnepropetrovsk Medical Academy Yuryeva Lyudmila Nikolaevna.

• Get enough sleep. Good sleep is a sure way to relieve stress.
• Follow your breath. Proper breathing is a universal means of getting out of any stressful situation.

• Find a hobby which will help to be distracted and switch from problems to pleasant moments of life .

Take time to develop resilience and come out victorious stressful situations!

Natalia Seguin