You need to try to understand that your sins are the most serious and terrible, learn to pacify yourself in many ways (fasting helps a lot), learn mercy (do alms, pity the destitute, the sick, try to help them) ..

• harlem_
• March 29, 2009
• 22:04

How to recognize pride in yourself?

To the question: “How to recognize pride in yourself?” - Jacob, Archbishop of Nizhny Novgorod, writes the following:

“To understand, to feel it, notice how you will feel when those around you do something not, in your opinion, against your will. If, first of all, not the thought of meekly correcting the mistake made by others, but displeasure and anger, is born in you, then know that you are proud, and deeply proud.

If even the slightest failure in your affairs saddens you and induces boredom and burden, so that the thought of the Providence of God participating in our affairs does not amuse you, then know that you are proud, and deeply proud. If you are hot to your own needs and cold to the needs of others, then know that you are proud, and deeply proud.

If, at the sight of the troubles of others, even your enemies, you are happy, and at the sight of the unexpected happiness of your neighbors, you are sad, then know that you are proud, and deeply proud.

If modest remarks about your shortcomings are insulting to you, and praises about your unprecedented virtues are pleasant and delightful for you, then know that you are proud, and deeply proud.

What else can be added to these signs to recognize pride in oneself? Unless the fact that the EU-Lee is attacked by fear, this is also a sign of pride. St. John of the Ladder writes about it this way: “A proud soul is a slave of fear; relying on herself, she is afraid of the faint sound of creatures and the shadows themselves. The fearful often lose their minds, and rightly so. For in righteousness the Lord leaves the proud, in order to teach others not to be lifted up.”

And he also writes: “The image of extreme pride consists in the fact that a person for the sake of glory hypocritically shows those virtues that are not in him.”

• oxen197810
• March 30, 2009
• 00:35

“When you are slandered and you are therefore embarrassed and sick of your heart, this means that you have pride, and it is necessary to stab it and drive it out of your heart with external dishonor. love them as your doctors, whom God has sent to you in order to enlighten you and teach you humility, and pray to God for them - Bless those who slander you (Matt. 5:44), - say: they do not slander me, but my passion , they do not beat me, but this snake, which nests in my heart and hurts it when slander is applied; I console myself with the thought that, perhaps, good people will beat it out of there with their barbs, and then it will not hurt. Thank God for external dishonor: he who suffers dishonor here will not be subjected to it in that age. Take away his sins (Is. 40, 2). Give us your peace;

Holy Righteous John of Kronstadt.

• koppers3437
• March 30, 2009
• 00:41

Save me, God.

• connoisseur8756
• March 30, 2009
• 02:27

• 87=gambia_9
• March 30, 2009
• 03:39

Guys, thanks.

About the post. There is such a danger in it that you can become proud that you hold it.

And yet, about John of Kronstadt. He talked about a small degree of pride. But there is such pride in which no ridicule pecks. This is more difficult to deal with.

Dima, thanks for the description of symptoms. Exactly the same!

• oxen197810
• March 30, 2009
• 23:36

Quote: And yet, about John of Kronstadt. He talked about a small degree of pride.

I think he was talking about the root of pride, about the essence. It can really grow a lot. What to do? First - to make a diagnosis, i.e. admit that there really is pride. Secondly, decide to fight it. Thirdly, go to confession and listen (and then do) what the priest advises to hurt pride. The main thing is, together with the confessor, to find a way to influence pride.

Fourthly, try to sting more pride yourself. For example, a person loves front exits, beautiful clothes, flattery .... So force yourself to go through the back door, in greasy jeans and secretly tease yourself when you are flattered (may ask a girlfriend / friend).

Engage in mindful reading. And not just to read, to delve into what is written. Pray and fast, ask God for deliverance from pride. They say pride is the mother of all sins.

• 87=gambia_9
• March 31, 2009
• 01:04

Ekaterina, this stage with clothes and a back door has already been passed.

It does not work.

I say to myself, “everyone is looking at me, probably laughing, my blouse is wrinkled, my head is shaved, I’m a laughingstock.” And the voice inside answers: "But fuck it, it will be necessary - I'll go naked in feathers."

Only in the words of John of the Ladder in message # 4 do I reveal pride in myself: “A proud soul is a slave of fear; relying on herself, she is afraid of the faint sound of creatures and the shadows themselves. It can be seen that he was a great specialist in pride, the symptom is the most accurate.

• 87=gambia_9
• March 31, 2009
• 01:34

And I have one more question.

What is pride? Is it any different from pride?

• connoisseur8756
• March 31, 2009
• 04:33

As far as I understand it goes something like this...

Pride is a state in which a person considers himself to be something independent, separate from God, does not see his sinfulness and the need for correction and repentance. That is why it is the beginning of all other evils, because it is the very root of sin - separation from God.

Pride is a state in which a person considers himself something significant, he draws his own image and defends it.

Vanity is a state in which a person takes on God's glory, believing that he himself could do something, looking for people's praise. That is why Ladder says of her:

“Vanity is expressed with every virtue. When, for example, I keep a fast, I become conceited, and when, hiding the fast from others, I allow food, I again become conceited - with prudence. If I start, I fall into the power of vanity. If I want to be silent, I again indulge in it. Wherever you turn this thorn, it will all become spokes up.

In pride, a person defends his imaginary superiority, considers himself a closed self-sufficient system, and in vanity he seeks praise (including from himself).

• manicure199408
• March 31, 2009
• 07:41

And always remember how you will answer to the Lord. Always keep the Lord's Prayer ready. As soon as evil thoughts take over, turn your thoughts to God. We may not be able to overcome some passions, but with God everything is possible. Ask for help, crying about your sins.

• oxen197810
• March 31, 2009
• 23:52

Ekaterina, as I already wrote: The main thing is, together with the spiritual father, to find a way to influence pride.

Those. to struggle with sin, only our desire and our strength are not enough. Now, if you "put your sorrow on the Lord", believe that His servant will give reasonable advice and Humble yourself (abandoning your sophistication) to try to fulfill the prescribed, then the matter will get off the ground.

This is, so to speak, general advice, and only someone who knows your soul better can say more.

• ^79hierarchal7
• April 21, 2009
• 14:53

Save God! The main thing is not to become proud when you manage to fight it))

• koppers3437
• April 21, 2009
• 14:58

Katyukha Sandler, respect!

• oxen197810
• April 21, 2009
• 15:30

“You need either some kind of misfortune or a shock. Pray to God that this shock happens, that you meet some unbearable trouble in the service, that there is such a person who would greatly offend you and disgrace everyone in such a way, that out of shame you would not know where to hide, and at once would break all the most sensitive strings of your self-love. He will be your true brother and deliverer. Oh, how we sometimes need a public, given in the mind of everyone, slap in the face! "

Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol

• bronchiolar2792
• April 23, 2009
• 00:39

usually fate itself gives us cuffs on the back of the head for pride, aka youthful maximalism. That is how it is treated .... then you rethink everything and already try to avoid it)

• requisition198510
• April 24, 2009
• 22:34

I know for myself that I cannot humble myself. Need to pray. Then there will be people who will shame you, and circumstances will not allow you to be proud.

• 87=gambia_9
• April 28, 2009
• 14:49

Gentlemen and comrades, how to determine whether pride has been defeated?

And one more question: does pride exist (in a good way)?

• motorcade3300
• April 28, 2009
• 17:51

In my opinion, vanity and pride are the most ineradicable sins, they crawl everywhere. Only prayer...

"Sin of Lucifer"

We, people brought up in Soviet times, were inspired from childhood that pride is almost the main virtue of a Soviet person. Remember: "Man - it sounds proud"; "The Soviets have their own pride: the bourgeois are looked down upon." Indeed, at the heart of any rebellion is pride. Pride is the sin of Satan, the first passion that appeared in the world even before the creation of people. And the first revolutionary was Satan.

When the angelic world was created, the heavenly host, one of the highest and most powerful angel, Dennitsa, did not want to be in obedience and love for God. He became proud of his power and strength and desired to become like God himself. Dennitsa dragged many angels with him, and there was a war in heaven. Archangel Michael and his angels fought with Satan and defeated the evil army. Satan-Lucifer fell like lightning from heaven to hell. And since then, the underworld, hell, is a place where dark spirits live, a place devoid of the light and grace of God.

The rebel-revolutionary cannot but be proud, he is the successor of the work of Lucifer on earth.

Communism is a quasi-religion, and, like any creed, it has its own "creed" and its commandments. Their "relics", "icons", banners - banners and religious processions - demonstrations. Only the Bolsheviks intended to build paradise on earth, without God, and, of course, any thought of humility was considered ridiculous and absurd. What more humility, when "we are ours, we will build a new world, who was nothing, he will become everything."

However, God cannot be mocked, and history itself passed its judgment on the Bolsheviks. Heaven without God could not be built, proud plans were put to shame. But although communism fell, pride did not decrease, it just took on different forms. Talking to a modern person about humility is also very difficult. After all, a market capitalist society, aimed at success and career growth, is also based on pride.

Although you often hear in confession when you ask a question about the sin of pride, and the answer is: “Something, but I don’t have pride.” One woman writes to St. Theophan the Recluse: “She spoke with her spiritual father and told him different things about herself. He told me directly that I was proud and conceited. I answered him that I was not proud at all, but I could not stand humiliation and servility. And this is what the saint answered her: “The burial service was excellent. Do not let yourself be offended by them, so that they know that you cannot be grabbed with your bare hand. Vish, thought up to call as, moreover in eyes? Now I will sentence you: what better proof that you are proud than your rebuke? She is not the fruit of humility. And why should you cross such a sentence? .. It’s better for you, without contradicting it, to put yourself in depth, is there, in fact, this potion in you, extremely unkind.

So, what is pride and how does this sin manifest itself? Let us turn again to St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov): pride is “contempt for one’s neighbor. Preferring yourself to everyone. Insolence. Obscuration, debility of the mind and heart. Nailing them to the earth. Hula. Disbelief. False mind. Disobedience to the law of God and the Church. Follow your carnal will. Reading heretical, depraved, vain books. Disobedience to authorities. A biting mockery. Abandoning Christ-like humility and silence. Loss of simplicity. Loss of love for God and neighbor. False philosophy. Heresy. Irreligion. Ignorance. Death of the soul."

Trial and condemnation

St. Cassian the Roman speaks of pride, that although it is the last in the list of eight passions, “but in the beginning and time there is the first. This is the most ferocious and most indomitable beast."

Pride, in the series of passions, comes after vanity, which means that it stems from this vice and has a beginning in it. “The flash of lightning foreshadows a thunderous blow, and about pride it foreshadows the appearance of vanity,” instructs the Monk Nilus of Sinai. The search for vain, vain glory, praise, inflated self-esteem gives rise to exaltation over people: “I am higher than them, more worthy; they are below me." This is what pride is. Condemnation is also associated with this feeling. How, if I am above all, then it means that I am more righteous, all the rest are more sinful than me. Inflated self-esteem does not allow you to objectively judge yourself, but it helps to be a judge of others.

Pride, starting with vanity, can reach the depths of hell, because this is the sin of Satan himself. None of the passions can grow to such limits as pride, and this is its main danger. But back to condemnation. To condemn means to judge, to anticipate the judgment of God, to usurp His rights (this is also a terrible pride!), for only the Lord, who knows the past, present and future of a person, can judge him. The Monk John of Savva tells the following: “Once a monk from a neighboring monastery came to me, and I asked him how the fathers live. He answered: "All right, according to your prayers." Then I asked about a monk who did not enjoy a good reputation, and the guest said to me: “He has not changed at all, father!” Hearing this, I exclaimed: “Bad!”. And as soon as I said this, I immediately felt as if in ecstasy and saw Jesus Christ crucified between two thieves. I was rushing to worship the Savior, when suddenly He turned to the upcoming angels and said to them: “Put him out, this is the Antichrist, for he condemned his brother before My judgment.” And when, according to the word of the Lord, I was cast out, my mantle was left in the door, and then I woke up. “Woe is me,” I said then to the brother who came, “this day is angry with me!” "Why is that?" he asked. Then I told him about the vision and noticed that the mantle I left behind meant that I was deprived of the protection and help of God. And from that time on, I spent seven years wandering in the wilderness, neither eating bread, nor going under shelter, nor talking with people, until I saw my Lord, who returned the mantle to me, ”narrates in the Prologue.

That's how scary it is to pass judgment on a person. Grace departed from the ascetic only because he said about his brother's behavior: "It's bad!" How many times a day do we, in thoughts or words, give our merciless assessment of our neighbor! Each time forgetting the words of Christ: “Judge not, lest you be judged” (Matthew 7:1)! At the same time, in our hearts, of course, we say to ourselves: “I would never do anything like that!”. And very often the Lord, for our correction, to shame our pride and desire to condemn others, humbles us.

In Jerusalem there lived a virgin who spent six years in her cell, leading an ascetic life. She wore a sackcloth and renounced all earthly pleasures. But then the demon of vanity and pride aroused in her a desire to condemn other people. And the grace of God left her for excessive pride, and she fell into fornication. This happened because she struggled not out of love for God, but for show, for the sake of vain glory. When she became intoxicated by the demon of pride, the holy angel, the guardian of chastity, left her.

Very often the Lord allows us to fall into the very sins for which we condemn our neighbors.

Our assessments of our neighbor are very incomplete and subjective, we not only cannot look into his soul, but often we do not know anything about him at all. Christ did not condemn obvious sinners, neither harlots nor adulterers, because he knew that the earthly path of these people was not yet over, and they could take the path of correction and virtue. Only judgment after death brings the final line to everything that a person has done in life. We see how a person sins, but we do not know how he repents.

Once I returned from the cemetery, where I was invited to serve a memorial service, and the woman who called me asked me to bless the car for her. One of my friends was present at the consecration. When the woman left in a brand new foreign car, already consecrated, he threw out the phrase: “Yes, it’s not clear that she was very bothered, earning money on this car.” Then I told him that this woman was in great grief, her son was killed not so long ago ... You can never judge the well-being of human life by appearance.

Pride and division

In our time, there have appeared many "scoffers" (as the apostle Jude calls them), who constantly find reasons for indignation with the church hierarchy. The patriarch, you see, communicates too much with the secular authorities, the bishops are all completely infected with money-grubbing and simony, the priests also think only about income and drive around in Mercedes. Special newspapers and websites have appeared that specialize in exposing the episcopate. Apparently, it seems to them that now the very times have come when “the bishops will not even believe in the resurrection of Christ.” Complete, as it were, the decline of piety and church life.

What drives these people? Pride. Who gave them such a right to denounce bishops and priests, and what do these denunciations give? They only sow enmity, confusion and division in the hearts of Orthodox people, who, on the contrary, need to unite now.

There have been unworthy people among priests and bishops at all times, and not only in the 20th or 21st century. Let us turn to the "golden age" of Orthodoxy, the age of holiness and the flourishing of theology. The IV century gave such pillars of the Church as Saints Basil the Great, Gregory of Nyssa, Gregory the Theologian, Athanasius of Alexandria, John Chrysostom and many, many others. And this is what St. John Chrysostom writes about this “golden age”: “What could be more lawless, when people who are worthless and full of many vices receive honor for something for which they should not have been allowed to cross the threshold of the church?.. Now the leaders of the Church suffer from sins ... But the lawless, burdened with a thousand crimes, invaded the Church, the tax-farmers became abbots.” Many of the holy bishops of the 4th century, including St. John himself, were sent into exile by "robber councils" of hierarchs, and some died in it. But none of them ever called for a split and division. I am sure that many thousands of people would follow the deposed saints if they wanted to create their own “alternative church”. But the holy men knew that the sin of schism and division is not washed away even by martyr's blood.

This is not how modern accusers act, they prefer a schism to submission to the hierarchy, this immediately shows that they are driven by the same pride. It lies at the root of any schism. How many schismatic, catacomb churches are now appearing, calling themselves Orthodox! "The true Orthodox Church", "the most true Orthodox Church", "the most, most true", etc. And each of these false churches, out of pride, considers itself better, purer, holier than all the others. The same passion of pride moved and drives the Old Believers. They were divided into a huge number of Old Believer "churches", interpretations, agreements, which do not have communion with each other. As St. Theophan the Recluse wrote: “Hundreds of stupid rumors and thousands of disagreements.” This is the path of all schismatics and heretics. By the way, all the Old Believers are based not at all on love for the old rite, but on pride and a high opinion of their exclusivity and correctness and hatred of Patriarch Nikon and his followers, the Nikonians.

But let's say a little more about the "cursors", they should remember the words of St. Cyprian of Carthage: "To whom the Church is not a mother, God is not a Father." The Church was, is and will be, despite the unworthiness of some hierarchs, who, as I have already said, have been in all ages and times. God will judge them, not us. The Lord says, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” (Rom. 12:19). And we can correct the Church with only one thing - our personal piety. After all, we are also the Church. “Save yourself and thousands around you will be saved,” said St. Seraphim of Sarov. And he knew this from his own spiritual experience. These are the people who are the little leaven that leavens the whole dough. A small amount of yeast can raise a whole sourdough. But, by the way, according to my own observations, "scoldiers" with personal piety and morality, as a rule, have a hard time. But there is more than enough pride.

seduction

One of the most terrible and badly curable types of pride is charm.

Charm means seduction. The devil seduces a person, taking the form of an angel of Light, saints, the Mother of God, and even Christ Himself. A corrupted person is given from Satan the greatest spiritual experiences, he can perform feats, even miracles, but all this is captivity by demonic forces. And at the heart of it lies pride. A person became proud of his spiritual labors, deeds, performed them out of vanity, pride, often for show, without humility, and thereby opened his soul to the action of hostile forces.

Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) in his Fatherland gives an example of what terrible consequences delusion can lead to: “They said about a certain brother who lived as a hermit in the desert and for many years was seduced by demons, thinking that they were angels. From time to time his father according to the flesh came to him. Once a father, going to his son, took an ax with him with the intention of chopping firewood on the way back. One of the demons, warning the coming of his father, appeared to his son and said to him: “Here the devil comes to you in the likeness of your father with the aim of killing you, he has an ax with him. You warn him, pull out the ax and kill him.” The father came, according to custom, and the son, seizing an ax, stabbed him and killed him. It is very difficult to get someone who has fallen into delusion out of this state, but there have been such cases. As, for example, with the Monk Nikita of Kiev-Pechersk. Having fallen into delusion, he was able to predict some events, he memorized the entire Old Testament. But after the intense prayer of the venerable Kiev-Pechersk elders, the demon departed from him. After that, he forgot everything he knew from books, and his fathers barely taught him to read and write.

Cases of demonic seduction occur even today. A young man who studied with me at the seminary prayed and fasted very intensely, but, apparently, with a wrong, unhumble disposition of soul. The students began to notice that he spent the whole day sitting behind books. Everyone thought that he was reading the Holy Fathers. It turned out that he studied books on Islam and the occult. I stopped confessing and taking communion. Unfortunately, he could not be brought out of this state, and he was soon expelled.

The sin of pride, sometimes beginning with petty vanity and pride, can grow into a terrible spiritual disease. That is why the holy fathers called this passion the most dangerous and the greatest of passions.

Fight with pride

How do they struggle with pride, contempt for others, self-exaltation? What is the opposite of this passion?

The Holy Fathers teach that the opposite virtue to pride is love. The most used about The last of the passions fights with the highest virtue.

How to acquire love for your neighbor?

As they say, it is easy to love all of humanity, but it is very difficult to love a particular person with all his shortcomings and weaknesses. When the Lord was asked, “What is the greatest commandment in the law?” He replied, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind: this is the first and greatest commandment; the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).

Love is a great feeling that unites us with God, for "God is love." Love is the only happiness, it can help us overcome all difficulties and defeat pride and selfishness. But not everyone correctly understands what love is. Love is often mistaken for the pleasant sensations we get when we are treated well, but this is not love. “If you love those who love you, what good is it to you? Do not the publicans do the same? (Matthew 5:46). It is very easy and pleasant to love a person, to be near him when he only makes us happy. But when communication with our neighbor does not suit us, we immediately change our attitude towards him, often to the diametrically opposite one: “one step from love to hate.” But this means that we did not love true love, our love for our neighbor was consumer. We loved those good feelings that were associated with him, and when they disappeared, love also disappeared. It turns out that we loved a person as a thing that we need. Not even as a thing, but as a product, delicious food, because we still take care of our favorite things, for example, we polish the body of our favorite car, regularly service it, buy all kinds of jewelry, etc. That is, even in a thing, if we love it, we put our care and attention. And only food we love for its taste, no more; when it is eaten, we no longer need it. So true love gives but does not require. And that is the true joy of love. The joy of receiving something is a material, consumer joy, but in giving to someone it is true, eternal.

Love is service. In this, our Lord Jesus Christ Himself gives us a great example when He washed the feet of the apostles at the Last Supper, saying: “So, if I, the Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, then you must also wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do what I have done to you” (John 13:14-15). And Christ loves us not for anything (because there is nothing special to love us for), but simply because we are His children. Even sinful, disobedient, spiritually ill, but it is the sick, weak child that parents love most of all.

The feeling of love cannot exist without our efforts. It needs to be nurtured in your heart, warmed up day by day. Love is a conscious decision: "I want to love." And we must do everything so that this feeling does not go out, otherwise our feeling will not last long, it will depend on many random reasons: emotions, our mood, life circumstances, the behavior of our neighbor, etc. It is impossible to fulfill the words of Christ in another way, because we are commanded to love not only for our loved ones - parents, spouses, children, but also for all people. Love is acquired by daily work, but the reward for this work is great, for nothing on earth can be higher than this feeling. But in the beginning, we have to literally force ourselves to love. For example, you came home tired, do not wait until they do something nice for you, help yourself, wash, say, the dishes. A bad mood has overcome - force yourself, smile, say a kind word, do not take out your irritation on others. Offended by a person, you consider him wrong, you are innocent - force yourself, show love and go first to reconcile. And pride is defeated. But here it is very important not to become proud of your “humility”. So, educating himself day after day, a person will someday reach the point where he will no longer be able to live differently: he will have an inner need to give his love, to share it.

A very important point in love is to see the value of each person, because there is something good in everyone, you just need to change your often biased attitude. Only by cultivating love for our neighbor in our hearts, changing our attitude towards him, learning to see the good sides in him, we will step by step overcome pride and exaltation in ourselves. Love conquers pride, for pride is a lack of love for God and people.

How to learn to love God? Having fallen in love with His creation - man. Man is the image of God, and it is impossible to love the Archetype even without love, to disrespect the icon, the image of God. No wonder the Apostle John the Theologian writes to us: “Whoever says: “I love God,” and hates his brother, that one is a liar: for he who does not love his brother, whom he sees, how can he love God, whom he does not see? And we have this commandment from Him, that he who loves God love his brother also” (1 John 4:20).

Instead of a conclusion: "The kingdom of heaven is taken by force"

The path of struggle with passions is not easy and thorny, we often become exhausted, fall, suffer defeat, sometimes it seems that there is no more strength, but we get up again and start to fight. Because this path is the only one for an Orthodox Christian. “No one can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one and love the other; or he will be zealous for one and neglect the other” (Matt. 6:24). It is impossible to serve God and remain a slave to the passions.

Of course, no serious business is done easily and quickly. Whether we are rebuilding a temple, building a house, raising a child, treating a seriously ill person, great efforts are always required. “The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it by force” (Matthew 11:12). And the acquisition of the Heavenly Kingdom is impossible without cleansing oneself from sins and passions. In the Slavic translation of the Gospel (always more accurate, figurative) instead of the verb "takes" the word "needs" is used. And indeed, spiritual work requires not just the application of efforts, but coercion, coercion, overcoming oneself.

A person who fights against passions and overcomes them is crowned for this by the Lord. Once the Monk Seraphim of Sarov was asked: “Who in our monastery stands above all before God?” And the monk replied that he was a cook from the monastery kitchen, originally from former soldiers. The elder also said: “The nature of this cook is fiery. He is ready to kill a person in his passion, but his incessant struggle within the soul attracts the great favor of God to him. For the struggle, the grace-filled power of the Holy Spirit is given to him from above, for God’s word is immutable, which says: “To the one who overcomes (myself) I will give a place to sit with Him and clothe me in white clothes.” And, on the contrary, if a person does not fight with himself, then he comes to a terrible bitterness, which leads to certain death and despair.

Pride is useful and necessary for a person. It allows you to follow beliefs, maintain inner balance, maintain self-respect, not let yourself be humiliated, teaches you to value yourself. But what to do if pride has grown into pride - a cocktail of pride, selfishness, arrogance and arrogance. Believers consider it a mortal sin. Psychology, on the other hand, will say that pride interferes with personal development, building relationships, and moving up the career ladder. For pride people always have to pay dearly. - one of the payment options.

The study of pride is at the intersection of psychology, philosophy and ethics. Pride is the opposite of humility. A proud person is not able to make compromises, concessions, sacrifice something (sometimes himself).

It’s not shameful to be proud of well-deserved successes, but it’s not good to constantly insert your “I” into the topic and not. A proud person looks at everything with contempt. And in fact, he does not respect himself, although he positions himself almost as the creator of the whole world.

Pride is attributing great merit and dignity to oneself, overestimating oneself against the background of belittling the dignity of other people. A proud person believes that only he is worthy of attention, praise, admiration. Because of his belief that other people do not deserve attention, and people can and should be treated like things, the carrier of pride receives the hatred of the environment and persecution.

What else is dangerous pride:

• A person forgets that he is not perfect, that failures happen to everyone, and circumstances do not always turn out the way we want.
• The more pride is fed and developed, the less a person conducts an internal dialogue and the more he blames the universe itself, he does not see his guilt in the causes of failures.
• After this, the process of self-destruction of the personality often begins, escape from reality, and the experiences themselves, negative emotions have a destructive effect on the body.
• Pride does not allow concessions, provokes. As a result, friends and loved ones turn away from a person, but the proud man himself does not understand that he betrayed everything for the sake of his pride.
• If pride is combined with cruelty, then a tyrant will appear before us.

Pride and pride

Pride is the result of overcoming difficulties, working on oneself, conscious actions, confirmation of the value of a person. Pride wants to show - and that's fine. Because the heroes are revered in front of the audience, they shoot reports about them. If you have something to be proud of, then you need to do it. These are pleasant and useful emotions.

What is interesting: for the emergence of pride, it is necessary to identify yourself with a reason for pride. We can admire the actions of other people, but only if this is a person close to us, we will experience a sense of pride in him and our involvement in this person. According to this principle, one can be proud of a friend, family, country.

What is the difference between pride and pride?

• Pride is a moral feeling. It includes self-sufficiency, self-esteem, personal independence. At the same time, it is awareness of the conformity of actions to values ​​and beliefs. Pride can be felt for oneself or for another person.
• Pride encourages and motivates to new achievements and self-development. It makes a person believe in their own strength, see their capabilities and potential, strive for the best.
• Pride can only be in relation to the person himself, his Ego. Moreover, this person does not necessarily have reasons to be proud of himself. Pride can be based on one and an unhealthy sense of self-worth (significance). Pride slows down, separates a person from society.

Prideful people are prone to envy. They often claim someone else's place, regardless of what is completely inconsistent with it. The owner of pride always has excessive demands, he is always dissatisfied and expects more. For he sincerely believes that his beautiful personality deserves all the best and constantly something new. Such people in absentia consider the world to be bad, they try to put every person in their place (as the proud sees).

Reasons for the development of pride

Unfortunately, normal and useful pride can develop into pride - groundless and exaggerated pride and a number of other immoral qualities. But pride and such an arrogant attitude towards the world does not necessarily follow from adequate pride.

• Roots can go into, complexes. Then pride is a variant of overcompensation.
• Another possible reason: a person despises others because of his social status, moreover, coming from the family (the parents achieved it, but the proud man himself did nothing at all, but inflated his Ego).

How to get rid

To overcome pride, you need to cultivate humility in yourself - the realization that there is no limit to perfection, the recognition of one's imperfection and the ability to correspond to circumstances.

This is not a philosophy of slavery or the cultivation of self-denial. Although, unfortunately, so many people understand the term humility, identifying it with patience. In fact, this is a certain wisdom, resignation to the fact that no one is perfect: neither we ourselves, nor the world as a whole. This is humility with the fact that not everything is subject to man: we are not given the opportunity to change the structure of the world and the consciousness of mankind in the broad sense of the word. There are some objective things, laws, and also subjective opinions of other people. This must be taken into account, that is, put up with, take into account and correct your behavior within the framework of this concept.

Which involuntarily suggests the second element of getting rid of pride: getting rid of unhealthy egoism, developing an adequate attitude towards people. Moreover, this is not about altruism, but about the golden mean, when you do something for the benefit of yourself and society at the same time.

Except with the help of self-control, you cannot change your thinking and behavior.

1. First of all, set the main goal: for the sake of what you want to get rid of pride. "Just because it's sinful and bad" won't do. Write down on paper what pride has deprived you of, and what you can gain (what abilities, statuses, what people) by getting rid of it. Highlight the main goal, for example, "by getting rid of pride, I will establish a relationship with my loved one, because I want to be with him."
2. Further, it is important to learn how to turn to people for advice and be interested in their opinion. First exercise: ask to make your portrait. Since you are proud, then it’s better not to give this task for independent execution for the time being. But people from the outside will honestly and, most likely, adequately describe your advantages and disadvantages. Accept this portrait without any arguments.
3. Further, the plan is individual: what is written in a negative way - we remove it, what is written in a positive way - we return, develop, instill.
4. . Ask their opinion regularly and listen to what other people have to say. You must understand that each person is an individual and interesting person with their own rights and beliefs. A good exercise is watching movies with further discussion. You can discuss with friends, or you can retell the story on behalf of different characters.
5. Practice and only practice. Every day do something that is below your dignity (as you think). Just please don't go to extremes, you don't need real humiliation. Your goal is to recycle pride into pride, and not completely kill the sense of self-worth.
6. Do not be afraid of kind words and gratitude. There should be more of them in your vocabulary than reproaches and criticism. Develop along with it.

Pride is a worm that causes processes of decay in the human soul. It is possible to eradicate it, but it is not easy to do it, and one cannot do without help. Admitting your imperfections and asking for help is the first but most important step. If you were able to say "I suffer from pride and that's why I'm not perfect", then you can no longer be categorically called a proud person.

The main thing is not to reject this help. Those people who agreed to help deserve a widow more pleasant words, because it is not easy to endure a proud man. To do this, you need to see the positive potential. And if someone saw it, then you have every chance of success if you yourself see your true potential.

The content of the article:

Pride is excessive self-confidence, arrogance and arrogance of a person who puts himself a step above the rest. With this vice, a person quite often considers himself undeservedly offended, worries if his talents are not praised, and he himself often behaves boorishly with others. Even the Bible condemns pride, referring it to the seven deadly sins. An overestimated ego in most cases makes it difficult to adequately assess the existing reality, therefore it is necessary to get rid of such an attitude towards oneself and society.

The main reasons for the development of pride

The formation of arrogance and arrogance is usually based on the following factors:

• Wrong parenting model. Some parents inspire children from childhood that they are better in all respects than their peers. As a result, the child grows up as an egoist, who already at a more mature age begins to consider himself a celestial.
• Luck in everything. There is such a category of people whom Fortune loves. A person begins to perceive luck in life as a due fact, attributing it to his exceptional abilities and eventually becoming an arrogant person.
• Having a bright appearance. Beautiful people are quite often frankly proud of their outstanding external data. And they do not miss the opportunity to get the maximum benefit, as well as emphasize their superiority over the rest. In especially severe cases, they exalt themselves so much that they almost completely lose touch with others, because they are not able to withstand arrogant attitude and narcissism.
• Activation of the protective mechanism. Low self-esteem can also lead to ostentatious pride, just like good looks. Afraid of being ridiculed, a person with complexes begins to demonstrate his "unique" mental abilities and put himself above ordinary people.
• Living in metropolitan areas. Some snobs, having their homes in large cities, openly make it clear to the provincials that they are second-class people for them. The arrogant persons demonstrate their superiority over them, sometimes without even having an education and a prestigious job.
• Aristocratic roots. The reasons for pride often lie precisely in this factor. The well-known expressions "blue blood" and "white bone" in themselves indicate that some people consider themselves the elite of society.

Important! Whatever the origins of the formation of pride, it is rather difficult to call such people pleasant persons. They have practically no friends, because few people like a dismissive attitude towards themselves.

Man's manifestations of pride

It is not difficult to calculate people with the described warehouse of character, because they behave defiantly and in some cases even aggressively:

1. Ignoring other people's opinions. Reflections of relatives and strangers are not just not listened to, but are initially refuted by arrogant people. For people with pride, there are no authorities, except from the point of view of their own person.
2. Striving to be the first. It can even be said that a person with a similar disposition of character does not try to seem the best of the best, but considers himself as such. Rivalry arises only if there is an equally proud person in his way.
3. Unreasonable criticism of people. The imperfection of everyone and everyone is quite clearly formulated by a person with an informal behavior model. The illusion of grandeur leads him ultimately to hardness of heart and a complete lack of tact when communicating with the interlocutor.
4. selfishness. Proud people usually go to extremes, believing themselves to be either the center of the universe, or having many hidden complexes. At the first problem, it is very difficult to maintain contact with such a person, because he is capable of doing unworthy acts in order to satisfy his own needs.
5. Desire to lead everyone. Considering even the immediate environment as small people, people with signs of pride try to become leaders in any team. Power in this case goes beyond all the boundaries of permissible moral norms, causing discontent among the most peaceful persons who are faced with such an attitude towards themselves.
6. Failure to be grateful. The proud take signs of attention to their person as a due event. Dividing people according to statuses and categories, they do not consider themselves obligated to anyone because they are assigned to a lower rank in society.
7. Vanity. If an individual has such a quality as pride, he cannot calmly observe happy and successful people. Consequently, persons with a bad and arrogant character will try to assert themselves at the expense of others in all spheres of human activity.
8. Boasting. To show off in front of a large audience is a hallmark of the proud. Many of their stories about everyday life, love affairs and rapid career growth actually turn out to be banal lies or undeniable embellishments of facts.
9. Pathos. If a person has pride, all his speeches will be filled with magnificent phrases and complex terms. With such a demonstration of intelligence and erudition, they are trying to show their education, emphasizing that it was received in a well-known and prestigious educational institution.

Ways to deal with pride in yourself

Psychologists say that such a defect over time can lead to complete degradation of the individual. Therefore, it is necessary to seriously think about how to get rid of the existing problem.

Work on yourself while showing pride

A person cannot cope on his own only with those pathologies that seriously distort his vision of the world and his place in it. In other cases, you can put on the agenda the following ways to rehabilitate yourself as a person:

• Recognition that there is a problem. The first step to realizing your dream of becoming a full member of society should be the decision to observe your own behavior from the outside. Pride is not an innate feature of character, because they do not appear with such a vice, but form it in themselves during their lives.
• Analysis of your own ambitions. After recognizing the existence of a certain problem, it is necessary to understand what exactly irritates a person in other people. You can limit communication with such personalities without projecting their shortcomings onto literally every person. However, in most cases, a detailed analysis shows the groundlessness of personal claims against most people.
• Keeping a diary. It is recommended to divide it into two parts, which will describe the positive aspects of pride and the negative consequences of its occurrence. After a week of observation in this way, many people will be unpleasantly surprised by the comparison of both sections of the diary.
• Teaching Humility. This quality helps a lot in life, because a person does not try to jump above his head. However, the proud man should not go to extremes and try to engage in self-flagellation instead of comprehending his actions, while becoming a puppet in the hands of some unscrupulous personalities.
• Refusal to evaluate people. The inner circle of the obstinate and strangers to him are not at all obliged to comply with his criteria of morality and fictitious norms of behavior in society. In response to such a desire to change acquaintances or colleagues, he will receive only a wave of negativity, which can be prevented by abstracting from other people's shortcomings.
• Politeness training. The culture of communication implies tolerance and a sense of tact towards the interlocutor. This rule should become a law for a person with a vice in the form of pride. You can also read Dale Carnegie's The Language of Success, How to Win People, and How to Win Friends.
• Work on self-realization. It is necessary not to suffer from delusions of grandeur, but in fact to work on yourself daily. Proud people often have a feeling of envy towards more successful people. Such a negative surge of emotions will not happen to them only if they themselves take place as individuals.
• Accepting constructive criticism. It is difficult not to respond to any insult with some kind of taunt, but with wise advice, you must learn to listen to them. In some cases, someone else's experience is invaluable information. In addition, people are attracted to an interlocutor who knows how to listen and respects their opinion.
• Altruism. Such a confrontation with one's own selfishness will be an excellent means of combating pride. In addition, changes in behavior in this direction will allow you to expand your social circle and make real friends.
• Doing dirty work. Some people who consider themselves the elite of society refuse to do any activities that are unpleasant for them. If you want to get rid of pride, you can work in the garden or do the general cleaning in the house yourself. A new stage in life has come when it is necessary to forget about the old habits of the white hand.
• Rejection of flattering friends. Pride can appear even in a tolerant person, before whom hypocritical friends openly fawn. This is done both out of a desire to get closer to a more popular person in society, and for selfish purposes. Such communication will bring nothing but harm, therefore it is necessary to stay away from insincere people.
• Using the Prayer of Repentance. This method of getting rid of pride will help believing parishioners. In addition, while reading it, the soul calms down, and all gloomy thoughts leave the mind. The words of the prayer can be arbitrary, provided that they come from the heart itself.

Any of the proposed ways to eliminate pride in one's soul is an accessible method for every person. The main thing at the same time is to have the desire to correct the situation and establish contact with people around you.

Help from psychologists if you want to get rid of pride

In parallel with your own attempts to change your life for the better, you can put into practice the following tips from experts:

1. The method of mental bows. This method is quite popular in Asian countries, where there are also enough proud people. When meeting even with a person of lower status and prosperity, it is necessary to bow to her in the mind. In this way, an act of respect will be performed that effectively combats the ambitions of an arrogant individual.
2. Projection method. If you have pride, you must mentally imagine the internal dialogue of your friends. In a conversation with them, some half-hints of dissatisfaction with the haughty behavior clearly slipped through. Thinking unflatteringly about other people, one should assume what opinion they may have about an arrogant person on their part.
3. Analysis-matching. Anti-heroes of all times and peoples have always been proud, even with their existing complexes. This list can start with Lucifer (Satan) and end with dictators who are guilty of the destruction of a huge number of people. A small percentage of patients after such a session with a psychotherapist with an accompanying thematic conversation will want to be like people with negative energy.
4. Perishable Glory Analysis Method. A minute of triumph at the expense of humiliating another person is not worth the loneliness in the future after condemnation by the inner circle. When asked how to get rid of pride, you should make a virtual journey into the future in order to descend from heaven to earth and soberly assess your attitude towards people.
5. The principle of "inside is equal to outside". Some external factors need to be changed in parallel with the correction of one's own "I". You can change the situation for a while, replacing it with more modest apartments. It is also recommended to review your diet, replacing expensive delicacies with cheaper healthy foods.
6. group therapy. In some cases, experts recommend that proud people communicate with people with the same problem. Someone else's bitter experience is often perceived better than learning from your own mistakes. During such sessions, patients talk about themselves, recognizing the presence of arrogance and arrogance in their character.

How to get rid of pride - look at the video:

The question posed to oneself, how to deal with pride, already testifies to a person’s desire to change his life and attitude towards other people. It remains only to listen to the voiced recommendations in order to get rid of the existing problem of a personal nature once and for all.

To fight pride, you must immediately take on all the passions generated by it.

Why is it so important to fight both the ailments of dominant passion and the ailment of pride at the same time? I will give a simple everyday example. Who among you was engaged in gardening knows: when a beetroot or turnip grows and you want to cook borscht, then you pull it by the young tops, and it breaks off, remains in your hand, and the turnip or beetroot is in the ground. To pull it out, wise gardeners take all the leaves of the tops at once, closer to the root, and pull - then only the root crop that sits in the ground is completely pulled out. So, in order to draw out the passion of pride, one must immediately take on all the passions manifested by it: irritation, pride, despondency, fighting them and at the same time asking the Lord to give humility and meekness. That's when pride kicks in.

The struggle with pride begins with small, external

A proud person is also recognizable outwardly - he loves to laugh, talks a lot, fusses and shows himself, all the time trying to show himself. Therefore, during the year, I bless you to work on this inner problem: to seek the last place, not to show yourself, not to stick out, not to justify yourself, not to boast, not to push ahead, not to exalt yourself.

Here it is, the struggle with pride. You have to start small. If a person wants to start fighting with his pride, then he must find a worse place for himself and sit there; when everyone is talking - be silent; when everyone is boasting, do not open your mouth and speak only when asked.

To defeat pride, you need to learn obedience to the Church and obedience to the confessor, cutting off your own will.

I tried to convey to you how terrible pride is, how our own "ego" uses us, how we want to live for our own benefit. But in order to become a disciple of Christ and acquire the mind, heart and soul of Christ, you need to forget yourself and see your neighbor. How difficult it is! All the strings of the soul protest. Why should I think about someone, comfort someone, help someone? I don't have to. I have my own life, my own problems. Why do I need someone else, why do I need all these strangers?

But these people are not strangers. These are the ones the Lord has placed around you today. So that you can save your soul, remake yourself, remove your “I” so far that it does not protrude, and another person stands in the first place for you. It is impossible without this to become a disciple of Christ, for the Lord says: “If anyone wants to follow Me, deny himself, and take up your cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23). ). “He who saves his soul will lose it; but he who loses his life for my sake will save it” (Matthew 10:39; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24). These are the words we hear in the Gospel. What do they mean? That a person is called for the sake of love for God and neighbor not getting enough sleep, malnourished, wasting time, nerves, strength. But modern man does not want to do this, because he sees only himself and boils in his own juice.

Do you want to be disciples of Christ? Deny yourself and learn to see God in your neighbor who is near you. Turn over everything that lives in the soul, and put it in proper order, as the Lord blesses. And the passion of pride will begin to heal in your souls.

Repentance is pharisaic and unfalse

It seems that you go to church, and you have reason to think that everything is in order, you have finally begun to live as a Christian. But with such an attitude, the heart begins to be covered with a film of spiritual fat, it becomes impenetrable, lazy, soft. But the Lord is not pleased, and the Lord will always disturb your soul. We seem to calm down - and we do not see our sins to the end. Constantly looking for sins in oneself and bringing them to confession is the path to delusion. Another thing is when the Lord, by His grace, opens our eyes to our sinfulness. I want you to catch the difference between what the Lord says about the Pharisees: “blind guides, straining out a gnat, but swallowing a camel” (Matt. 23:24), and the situation when we pray to God, repent to Him, try to cleanse our soul - and our eyes are opened to all the torment of our inner man, we see how imperfect, weak we are; and this prompts us to deep repentance, leads to confession. When a person seeks out sins in himself, this often happens according to the Pharisee; it is embarrassing for him to go to confession and not say anything to the priest. He thinks: “What can I say about myself? It seems to be not quite a saint, but I can’t find sins. ” And another thing is when a person’s heart is bursting with understanding of what is happening in it. These are two qualitatively different states. The first is the hypocrisy of the Pharisees; in the second we abide unfalsely.

Consider the parable of the publican and the Pharisee. The Pharisee stood humbly in the temple, but at the same time he said: “God! I thank You that I am not like other people, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11). This is the way to elevate yourself through the humiliation of others. The publican repeated: “God! Be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13). This is the way of self-abasement.

We ask you to open the doors of our stone heart

The second path leads to the opening of the doors of the heart, while the first one closes them. The difference between these two paths is often seen in confession. Some begin to repent and at the same time look for someone to blame for their sins; whoever provokes them: the husband, the neighbors in the front door, the housekeepers, the authorities, the President, the head of the district, the priest - all together. When everyone around is pushing to commit a sin, the person himself seems to have nothing to do with it: yes, he sinned - but he could not help but sin, because he was hurt. He thinks: "How could I not sin here, I will share the guilt with everyone, and they are sinners, and I am sinful." This is a direct path to delusion - the path of covering up your sins, running away from them, unwillingness to see your weakness and honestly say: “Lord, I am lazy, I am selfish, I love myself, I am hard-hearted. It’s not someone else’s fault that I don’t get up for prayer, that I want to break the fast or do something else, it’s not others who are to blame, I myself am to blame for this.”

During Great Lent, we kneel at the All-Night Vigil and hear: “Open the door of repentance for us.” And where do these doors lead, where are they? It's about the doors of your own heart. We ask God to give us the opportunity to enter into the depths of our heart and know ourselves unfairly. We ask: “Open the door of repentance, Life-Giver of Christ” – so that at last the key to our stony heart is found, so that we can see what is inside, feel, repent, and be cleansed. These are the doors we are talking about and what we ask the Lord for.

Forgive, bless, pray for me

The Holy Fathers have left us many great pieces of advice, and one of them concerns how to stop irritation, which, perhaps justly, or perhaps unjustly, flares up in relation to another person. According to the patristic advice, in such a situation a person should remember three words worthy of a Christian. Those three words: "Forgive, bless and pray for me." They spiritually influence the one who proves something to you.

Of course, at work, these words are most likely not to be uttered. Most of our work is secular, and many of our employees are unbelievers. If you say in front of them what the holy fathers advise, you will simply be considered insane. But in a believing family, or in the obedience of the Church, or in relation to an Orthodox Christian - a friend or sister - these three words are enough to stop the mouth of any anger, to immediately, in the bud, extinguish any hostility and any irritation.

Think about these three simple words. "Sorry, bless and pray for me." “Sorry” means the person is asking for forgiveness. Here is the first indicator of humility. He does not say: I'm right or I'm wrong, he doesn't talk a lot about himself, he doesn't start reasoning and he doesn't promise - now let's figure out which of us is right. He says, "I'm sorry." The subtext of this “sorry” is that I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but I’m sorry anyway if I upset you like my brother. Then the person says: "Bless." This means that he calls on the grace of God for help. The one that really manages, which will die a brother or sister, will pacify the situation, which will extinguish all the intrigues of the devil in relation to the fact that a person quarreled with a person. And when he adds, "Pray for me," that is the third sign of humility. A person asks for prayers for himself, so that the grace of God will help him to really do deeds of truth.

Thus, a person really grows rich in God, and not in himself. He does not feed his granary of pride, he does not stuff the bin of his vanity with the indecent seed of pride, but grows rich in God, exhausts himself, bows before his neighbor, humbles himself before his neighbor, asks his holy prayers and calls on the grace of God for help.

Inspire your neighbor no more than twice

How, however, to be a person who is trying to reason with another, to convey the truth to him? Well, if he came across such a believer who really humbled himself and acted on the advice. A person who behaves like this brings peace to communication between people, between Christians. But if this is not the case, if thousands of excuses sound in response to admonition?

We, Orthodox, are like spiritual lumberjacks. We have such a spiritual saw, and we saw our neighbor with it until the juice comes out of him. This is typical of our environment. How can we stop in time so that our neighbor does not squeal, weep and groan from our good admonitions, and at the same time our pride does not develop? For this, too, there is a corresponding patristic council. He says the following: inspire your neighbor no more than twice. The Holy Fathers have verified this. If a person repeats something more than twice, then dislike will appear in his soul, then irritation, then anger.

How to be? How to be in this situation - the neighbor does not obey? It is required to convey to the consciousness of a person a very important life circumstance - to explain something to a child, a family member, a colleague - but it does not work. The holy fathers say: say twice and stop. Otherwise, irritation will come into your soul, anger will come into your soul, and you will no longer admonish your neighbor like a Christian, but with passion, with hostility. And instead of admonishment, a quarrel can turn out.

Who benefits from a quarrel? Manslayer-devil. God doesn't need a fight. Better a bad peace than a good quarrel. Better a family that survives than a broken family. Better friends who keep in touch than friends who squint at each other. Better is a community of people where there is peace, albeit a bad peace, weak, but peace, than enmity, quarrel and hostility towards each other. This must be understood. And take care of what the Lord gives us.

Therefore, here are two patristic pieces of advice for you, very instructive for both sides - for the one who admonishes and for the one who is admonished. Let's repeat them again.

The first piece of advice: do not admonish more than twice, do not try to force the will of another with your will. Say it twice, and then leave everything to the will of God. Wait for the Lord to enlighten a person, when He opens his heart and soul so that your words lie on good ground. If you continue to rape a person, you will get anger, irritation, a quarrel, and, moreover, you will cultivate pride in your own soul.

And the second piece of advice is for the sensible: under no circumstances try to make excuses. Who needs your excuses? Nobody needs them. With them you will only push your neighbor away from you, you will cause despondency in him, quarrel with him, move away from him, lose a friend. Therefore, there is no need, no need to make excuses. Whether you're right or wrong, no one cares. God sees everything. God sees your heart, your soul. Say three simple words of humility: "I'm sorry, bless and pray for me."

Act according to the righteousness of God, not human

Human justice is very connected with human flesh. She forgets about mercy to her neighbors and has nothing to do with the Gospel of God. This justice is a law which man writes for his own convenience, or for the convenience of his life, or for the convenience of self-justification, or for his other conveniences.

Elder Paisius gives a simple example. You have ten plums, and you have decided to divide them between you and your brother. You say that there are two of you, and you divide them by five, exactly equally. This is human justice. There is nothing shameful in it, it is an ordinary act of an ordinary person. Everyone remained with his own, neither you are offended, nor your brother. What will be the injustice? If you gave less to your neighbor and took more for yourself. And somehow he justified himself at the same time: “I’m older and more experienced,” or “this morning I read three prayers, and you two, and I’m supposed to have six plums, and you have four - you were too lazy.” But in fact, in the heart, gluttony prospered latently. I just wanted to eat six plums, even if I cheated my neighbor. Such is human injustice. But there is still the justice of God, when a person saw that his neighbor was hungry, that he was in need, that he longed for plums - and for the sake of his neighbor he yielded. He says: “Friend, eat eight plums, I don’t like them, and in general my stomach swells from them; I don’t need these plums, I ate enough, eat these eight for Christ’s sake. This is divine justice.

See how the three justices differ from each other? So it is in the life of God: the justice of God is always associated with some kind of limitation, self-abasement and sacrifice for the sake of one's neighbor, when a person sacrifices either time, or something dear to him, or what is sent to him.

We see this in the gospel parable. The father has two sons. And the father first acts according to human justice. How does he divide his estate between the eldest son and the youngest? in half. The youngest son wanted half the estate - please get half the estate. The father does not ask his son: “What will you do with him, what will you turn him into?”, and in human justice he gives him half the estate. We do not know the true motives of the youngest son - whether it was greed or foresight - but we see a truly human act: he took away half of his father's estate in his favor.

We saw this in the pages of the Old Testament, when Lot and Abraham almost quarreled with each other over pastures for their animals. And how did the holy righteous Abraham act? “We, relatives, will not quarrel over who got the best and who got the worst,” and the elder yields to the younger. He invites Lot to choose pastures that he likes. And what does Lot choose? Sodom and Gomorrah. We know what the green pastures of Sodom and Gomorrah turned out to be for him. He barely carried his legs from there, lost his wife there, all his belongings, all animals and slaves. Abraham acts in righteousness, out of love, but Lot acts in a human way. In one lives the desire for human justice, and in the other, God's justice. And Lot then disentangles this human justice, remains poor, in rags, desecrated and ridiculed. But Abraham prospered, and prospers.

We see the same thing on the pages of the gospel narrative. The younger son, having desired what did not belong to him, and having acted not in a divine way, having taken away the polymenia from his father and elder brother, went to another country. He lived fornication, squandered everything he had, and as a result, it turned out to be his lot - to eat along with the owner's pigs. And then a conscience woke up in him, he turns to God, he goes back to his father. The father sees the resurrected son, the converted son, returned to the bosom of the father, and acts according to the righteousness of God, he accepts the son and does not regret anything for him. With a generous hand he kills a well-fed calf, with a generous hand he prepares all kinds of dishes, gathers guests for a feast and rejoices with his son at his return.

And what about the eldest son, who all these years remained with his father? In human truth. With bitterness, he says to his father the same thing that we often reproach our relatives and friends - that they treat us differently than others. “Why do you treat me differently than you treat my older sister, my brother? Why did you give your brother the opportunity to live with his family in a separate apartment, and I have to hang around and experience all sorts of difficulties? Such reproaches towards parents and other relatives also arise in the Christian environment. We ask "why?", we torment the souls of relatives. But the answer is simple: because such is the truth of God. You think like a human being, but your parents, relatives and friends, often admonished by God, think like God. They see who needs more at this moment, who suffers more. You don't have a family, but your older brother does. You have one person in your family, and your sister has three. You grumble, you want and seek justice, and you will get it. But then you will repent bitterly, as Lot repented. For your earthly human justice, you will then shed bitter tears. Having searched for it, finally, you will not get anything good from it.

But when you provide a place for the grace of God, humble yourself and act in God's way, give eight plums to your neighbor, then the grace of God will completely cover you, fill everything that you lack so much, and the Lord Himself will help you in all your ways.

If we seek human justice, and not the truth and justice of God; if we do not humble ourselves before God and neighbor; Let’s not act as the holy fathers advise us – to oppress ourselves for the sake of Christ, to limit ourselves for the sake of our neighbor, to act in a way that is better for our neighbor, and not for us – then there will be no Christianity, no spiritual growth in us.

Of course, it is very difficult for a person to live according to the truth of God. You need to break yourself down to the roots every time. We love ourselves very much, we warm ourselves very much. It is not for nothing that the Lord, knowing this human essence, said: “As you want to be treated with you, do so with others.” Our shirt is closer to the body, and it is difficult for us to tear off a flap from it and bandage the wounds of our neighbor with it. To do this, you need to break yourself with the help of God, with prayer. It is very difficult and very painful, but necessary. If this does not happen, then there will be no acquisition of the prodigal son, there will be no change of soul. We will be honest, good, decent, respected, diligent, correct people, but people of this age - and not sons and daughters of God.