How to stay calm under pressure? How to remain cool, calm and not nervous in stressful, conflict and any other critical situations? A quarrel with a loved one, a traffic jam on the way to work, a conflict with the boss, a child's tantrum, a colleague's disrespectful attitude, a queue at the supermarket, etc. Often we find ourselves in difficult situations in which it is quite difficult to remain calm. Surely you are familiar with this state, when emotions go off scale, nerves are at the limit and you are completely unable to make a reasonable decision. It is even possible that someone pissed you off so much that you could only scream and vent your anger at the person who made you so angry.In this article, psychologist Mairena Vasquez shares with you 10 tips and techniques to stay calm and calm in any situation.

Stay calm

In our frantic pace of life, it is very important to remain calm in order to make the right decisions. A lot of people live in because we have to study, work, support a home and family, earn money, solve various family and other problems ...

Some people start drinking coffee or grab a cigarette to calm down, thinking it will help. However, this is an erroneous opinion.

Another mistake is the absorption of large quantities of flour and sweets, as well as adding a large amount of sugar to food.

Not only coffee, but any other drink containing caffeine makes us even more nervous. Sugar-containing foods also do the opposite of what we want: instead of calming us down, they give us energy, so we can feel even more energized.

So, what food will help you find peace and not be nervous?

Experts recommend in such cases dark chocolate and foods rich in vitamin C: strawberries, oranges etc. as they help to reduce the level of cortisol (stress hormone), as well as various relaxing drinks (for example, valerian or linden tea).

Those who, to calm down, begin to “pounce” on the refrigerator, chewing gum recommended (sugar free) This will help you calm down and reduce stress. Try chewing slowly, consciously, enjoying the taste: your attention will be focused on the chewing gum and help you take your mind off the problem.

7. Nature is your ally

In difficult and tense moments, it is very important to “move away” from the situation, not only mentally, but also physically. Find a quiet place where you feel comfortable and at ease, and think of anything other than what is causing you anxiety.

If you have the opportunity to go to nature - do it! Forest, mountains, beach - everything that is available to you. Nature will help you relax.

8. Importance of exercise

How to become calm and keep cool in any situation? Move, be active! Walks are highly recommended. Depending on your fitness level, you can simply walk or go for a run - this is a great way to "unplug" from problems, release accumulated energy and clear your mind. ?

It doesn't matter what exercise you do, but even a short walk is always much better than being locked up at home alone with your thoughts. Physical activity helps to manage emotions and release endorphins, which makes us happy.

If you don't like running and prefer something else, you can find any other alternative - swimming, dancing, Pilates, or yoga - all of these activities help relieve accumulated tension and stress.

Exercise helps manage emotions and stay calm

9. Forgive, forget and keep a sense of humor

Sometimes we are faced with situations in which, for various reasons, we feel guilty and very worried about it.

In such cases, in order to remain calm, it is important to realize the mistakes made, to try to forgive yourself in order to get rid of this feeling of guilt. If we are sure that we have made a mistake, we need to be able to forgive ourselves and give ourselves another chance.

Try to see the positive side of things and approach the situation with a sense of humor. Laugh at yourself, over the circumstances, even if it seems difficult to you!

10. Congratulate and cheer yourself up!

You and I know that maintaining calm and equanimity in any situation is not an easy task. It requires patience, practice, desire and willpower - all these qualities will not let you feel defeated even when it is very difficult and everything seems to be out of control.

Congratulate yourself on what you have achieved! You did! You have shown yourself to be a mature person, able to manage your emotions and actions. Be proud of yourself! Even if you made a mistake in something, it's not scary, don't punish yourself - next time you can do better! In addition, mistakes allow you to know yourself, and if a similar situation occurs in the future, you will no longer repeat them.

What do you think is the best way to keep calm? How do you deal with situations when things are going badly? Are you the kind of person who counts to 10 mentally, or do you prefer to calm down with music? Or relieve stress and tension with a run or other sport? Tell us about it in the comments in the article.

Translated from Spanish by Anna Inozemtseva

Psicóloga especializada en psicologia clinica infanto-juvenil. En continua formación para ser psicóloga sanitaria y neuropsicóloga clinica. Apasionada de la neurociencia e investigación del cerebro humano. Miembro activo de diferentes asociaciones e interesada en labores humanitarias y emergencias. A Mairena le encanta escribir articulos que puedan ayudar o inspirar.
Magia es creer en ti mismo.

Title: Stay human in any situation quotes. The secret of happiness is to live as if every day is the last of our lives.

Love is an unknown thing that comes from nowhere and ends at an unknown time.

Love always surpasses faith in it. Everyday words: if you knew how much I love you! - contain a deep and infinite truth. W. Humboldt

One who has never experienced the ecstasy of betrayal does not know what ecstasy is. Jean Genet

Love and trust make a person free. Seriousness in love is the fear of its end. Wilhelm Schwöbel

Love is the only thing worth living for. Frederic Begbeder "Love Lives for Three Years"

One of the most amazing misconceptions is the misconception that a person's happiness lies in doing nothing. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

Love never dies of want, but often of indigestion. Ninon Lanclo

Not the word, but misfortune is the teacher of fools. Democritus

The kindness of a woman, not seductive looks, will win my love. William Shakespeare

To be happy, you need to know love is not passionate, but voluptuous. K. Helvetius

Only love bought with money is worth nothing. E. Tarasov

Love endures for a long time, is merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud. Apostle Paul

Love is always a sacrifice. A real, sincere feeling of love always involves a sacrifice in the name of the one you love. Love without sacrifice is not love, but a big lie to yourself and others.

It is difficult to make a man happy by dooming a woman to suffering. Victor Hugo

The pursuit of science nourishes youth and brings delight to old age, decorates in happiness, serves as a refuge and comfort in misfortune. Mark Tullius Cicero

The need for happiness is embedded in man; so it's legal. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

There must be love in life - one great love in a lifetime, this justifies the causeless fits of despair to which we are subject. Albert Camus

One thing can be said about the betrayal of friends - these were not your friends ...

Love is the triumph of imagination over reason. Henry Mencken

Real friendship is better than fake love!

Love is worth exactly as much as the person who experiences it is worth. Everything is clean with clean people. Romain Rolland

There is such love, which in its highest manifestation leaves no room for jealousy. Fr. La Rochefoucauld

Love is inside everyone, but it is worth showing it only to those who are open to you.

What a woman in passion whispers to her lover, In the air and on the water of fast-flowing write. Catullus

As rare as true love is, true friendship is even rarer. François de La Rochefoucauld

A tyranny even more terrible was connected with the forms of the family than the tyranny associated with the forms of the state. Nikolai Berdyaev

Love insolence should be manifested in deeds, not in words. Gestures are not as intimidating as speeches, and silence guarantees the purity of the relationship intellectually. André Maurois

Love can be expressed in a mirror way in the form of a projection of one's own virtues in a different space and body.

True love is like a ghost: everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. François de La Rochefoucauld

The stronger the love, the more defenseless it is. Duchess Diana Marie de Bosac

You would be compliant and indulgent to prayers if you had previously burned with love for someone. Ovid

The memory of the first love discolors the new love.

Love calms and pleasantly expands the heart, revitalizes it, while hatred painfully constrains and disturbs it. He who hates others - he torments, tyrannizes himself, he is more stupid than all fools, and whoever loves - he is blessed, always calm, cheerful and wise.

In the world of feelings there is only one law - to make the happiness of the one you love. - Stendhal

Not many of us can endure happiness - I mean, the happiness of our neighbor. Mark Twain

He who wants to acquire love must reject every evil and unpeaceful thought, not to mention deeds and words, must forgive everyone just and unjust insults.

A little daughter is a great happiness. Her eyes, cheeks, mouth. It is impossible to look at her without smiling. I want to give my life for her laughter ...

By seeking the happiness of others, we find our own. Plato

We crave the truth, and find in ourselves only uncertainty. We seek happiness, but find only sorrow and death. We cannot but desire truth and happiness, but we are incapable of either solid knowledge or happiness. This desire is left in our soul not only to punish us, but also to constantly remind us of the heights from which we have fallen. Blaise Pascal

Often pretending to be in love falls in love in earnest and, starting with pretense, ends seriously. All the more condescendingly should you women treat those who pretend to be lovers - the former imaginary lover will turn into a real one. Ovid

An old lover means so little to a woman that he is easily exchanged for a new husband, and a new husband loses novelty so quickly that he almost immediately gives way to a new lover. Jean La Bruyère

Only foolish people consider the path of love happy. Only those who give up everything in Her name will be able to stand on Her path. And having passed this path to the end, he will find not happiness, but pain. But only those who have walked this path can say that they have lived. Maria Nikolaeva, "Alien Way"

Other women maintain day after day two love ties that are as difficult to keep as they are to break: one of these ties lacks a marriage contract, the other lacks love. Jean de La Bruyère

What's good: I get drunk quickly. What's bad: I'm getting a stomach ulcer. Frederic Begbeder. Love lives three years

There are many women in the world who have not had a single real love affair in their lives, but very few who have had only one. François de La Rochefoucauld

The surest sign of falling in love is that a man prefers misfortune with his beloved to any happiness without her. Clive Staples Lewis

Love is a disease, the symptoms of which each time manifest themselves in different ways. André Maurois

Women, although they attach great importance to friendship, forget about it; men are distrustful of her, and lovers are jealous. Paul Charles Joseph Bourget

Excuse me, did happiness pass anywhere here?

Of the passions, the strongest, evil and stubborn is sexual, carnal love, and therefore if the passions are destroyed, and the last, strongest of them is carnal love, then the prophecy will be fulfilled: people will unite together, the goal of mankind will be achieved and there will be no need for him to live. L. N. Tolstoy

Love is the only feeling in which everything is true and everything is false; say any absurdity about it and it will turn out to be true. S. Chamfort

Love is a debilitating disease, and in it a cure arises from it, as it works. Ibn Hazm

Misfortune is an opportune time for virtue. Lucius Annaeus Seneca (the Younger)

Falling in love is the firm knowledge that happiness exists. A. Kruglov

In the world of evil, stupidity, uncertainty and doubt called existence, there is one thing that is still worth living for and that is undoubtedly as strong as death: that is love. G. Senkevich

Love is stupidity done together. Napoleon I Bonaparte

Alas, love is always either too little or too much.

No person is able to understand what true love is until they have been married for a quarter of a century. Mark Twain

The happiness of a woman is when you have been together for a long time, and every day begins with mutual words: I love you madly.

To become happy, you need to constantly strive for this happiness and understand it. It does not depend on circumstances, but on you. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

In response to love, a virtuous woman says: no, passionate - yes, capricious - yes and no, coquettish - neither yes nor no. F. Soulier

Love grows from waiting for a long time and quickly goes out, having received its own. Menander

To admire yourself, you need to forget about the past. Ovid

Instill love with whatever you want, and support with your mind. I. L. Goncharov

Unbelief in a person is a misfortune, a fatal disease. Mikhail Mikhailovich Prishvin

Faithful love helps to endure all hardships. Fr. Schiller

In VK, many people talk about love, but only a few have seen it ...

Your first task, rookie of the Venus army, Meet the desired object, choose someone to love. The second thing is to achieve love from the one you chose; The third is to be able to save this love for a long time. Ovid

To be completely happy, it is not enough to have happiness, you must also deserve it. Victor Hugo

The family is like a balloon - someone is obliged to manage, but there is no way without ballast. A. Markov.

Love has never stopped anyone from realizing their dreams. Paulo Coelho, "Maktub"

Mobile phone turned off. She smeared mascara all over her face. Yes, we are similar. But we put different concepts into love.

Love, love, when you take possession of us, you can say: sorry, prudence! Jean de La Fontaine

Woe to the man who tries to bring sincerity into love. George Sand

Child love wants to be nurtured; mother love wants to nurture herself.

It is better to love and lose love than never love at all. Alfred Tennyson

Love transforms everything, and makes the foolish wise. Love transforms everything: eloquence gives to the silent, sweet love can turn old men into youths. Love breaks strength, but teaches the weak to be strong, love also knows how to breathe courage into the timid. Erasmus of Rotterdam

A woman's love, both in its source and in every manifestation of it, is a product of sensation. Josef Görres

Love should not cloud, but refresh, not darken, but brighten thoughts, since it should nest in the heart and mind of a person, and not serve only as fun for external feelings that give rise to passion alone. J. Milton

I love two things: You and Love. Marina Tsvetaeva

In search of joy and happiness, a person runs away from himself, although in reality the real source of joy is in himself. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

Who can hide love? Ovid

Love is a wise invention of nature: the one who loves easily does what he must. W. Schwebel.

The life of the world is enriched by all the love that people have lost. Rabindranath Tagore

Friendship sees everything and pays no attention to anything. Love pays attention to everything and sees nothing. Shpolyansky.

When we ourselves love, the word love is synonymous with self-sacrifice and renunciation. When the neighbors who live behind the wall love, this word means conceit and impudence. O.Henry

Your love is too heavy. - Too heavy? Love is either there or it isn't. Easy love is not love at all. Toni Morrison "Beloved"

In love adventures, there is anything but love. L. La Rochefoucauld.

Love transforms existence into life. Andrey Lavrukhin "Canons"

Betrayal is as much an integral part of politics as a dagger is of weapons. Victor Hugo

in the future, she loves only love. F. La Rochefoucauld

There is no better teacher than misfortune. Benjamin Disraeli

We do not know how to use happiness if we do not plant it, just as we do not know how to use wealth without earning it. George Bernard Shaw - Be human in every situation quotes.

Passion is a quality characterized by love without knowledge. Ambrose Bierce

Love is not harmful. Only selfishness multiplied by comfortable coexistence can be harmful. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

Love is all we have, the only way we can help another person. Erasmus of Rotterdam

Every minute all over the world and in the life of each individual person there are many events. At the same time, we have a huge number of responsibilities, unfinished business, a limited amount of time to do it all, and huge uncertainty in many areas of life. How to remain calm in any situation, every day experiencing such tremendous stress? How do you stay cool and efficient no matter what happens in life? Let's look at some practical recommendations.

1. Before you learn how to respond to stress in a different way, you need to analyze what exactly can unsettle you. To do this, ask yourself a few questions. What things piss me off? Is it a certain type of people or circumstances? How do these stimuli affect me psychologically and physically? What is my standard situation for these stimuli? Does my reaction help me or not?

The answers to these questions will help you gain a more accurate picture of your behavior and the “weaknesses” you need to work on.

If possible, stressful situations should be avoided. One way or another, they deplete the psychological resources of a person. It has been proven that willpower, which allows us to cope with various problematic and stressful situations, has the same working principle as ordinary human muscles. On the one hand, emotional endurance can be trained. On the other hand, excessive loads lead to nothing but burnout and subsequent apathy.

1. Start taking control of your reactions to stress. The golden rule for staying calm in any situation is to control your emotions. In a stressful situation, start breathing deeply and measuredly, count to 10 and back - do whatever you want to distract yourself from unpleasant circumstances. Wait until you can calm down, and only then analyze the environment.

If you react according to what your emotions demand of you, it will only make matters worse. When in a negative situation, remember the rule - if you cannot say anything pleasant, then it is better to remain silent.

Controlling your reactions is a skill that comes with experience. Start with those situations that do not require a gigantic effort of will to hold back. For example, try to keep yourself in a good mood for two to three hours. After getting off a crowded bus, try to shift your attention to more positive things as quickly as possible, and not think about the passenger who stepped on his foot for another half an hour.

1. As an auxiliary tool, use affirmations to help calm down and tune in a positive way. Affirmations are short statements that help you switch from negative experiences to more positive ones. These statements help fight various phobias, increase self-esteem, they are even used to succeed in business transactions. Short positive phrases help you stay calm in stressful situations, because they can affect your psychological attitudes towards these situations. Examples of such phrases are “I can control this situation”, “I am calm”, “I am collected and fully concentrated”.

• If possible, don't get into a fight. During a dispute, you can spend a large amount of psychological energy - it's not for nothing that the so-called energy vampires love to hook others so much in order to cause an emotional outburst in them. Moreover, in a dispute, an escalation of the conflict usually occurs: the more you want to prove your case, the more emotionally your opponent “turns on”. But you always have a choice. If the interlocutor, burning with negative emotions, is trying to provoke you, you can always refuse further communication.

• Try to find support among friends or relatives. It is always easier to emerge victorious from an unpleasant situation if there are those people nearby who you can rely on. It has also been proved that the more socialized a person is, the more he is ready to successfully withstand any adverse circumstances. After all, long before the onset of a stressful situation, he learned to draw strength from communicating with others, recharged by their optimism and positive energy. It is also worth remembering that this path has nothing to do with energy vampirism - with a positive exchange of energy, communicating people only enrich each other with their experience.

In principle, in any circumstances, there are two ways - to try to cope with them on your own, or to seek help from loved ones. Their support can give you the confidence to stay focused, calm, and relaxed in any circumstance.

How to stay calm in any situation? Often it is a question of whether certain skills have been acquired to control one's emotions. Calmness and restraint are the main conditions in which the most rational and productive decisions are made. Develop these qualities, use useful psychological tools and techniques that will help you gradually learn to control yourself. Sooner or later, you will acquire the skills that will allow you to remain yourself in any life storms.

Time has gone. Everyone is relying on you. Which wire should be cut? Of course, most of us will never have to deal with the choice of deminers when people's lives depend on the right decision. However, everyday situations like job interviews, public speaking, and family problems can be just as difficult if we're not used to dealing with them. Knowing how to stay calm during times of stress will not only have an immediate calming effect, but will help you lead a healthier, more relaxed lifestyle over time.

Steps

Instant Calm

Stop doing what you are doing. The best way to calm down if you are already feeling stressed is to stop interacting with the stressor. Sometimes just a few seconds of distraction is enough to feel much calmer.

• Before responding to a line in an argument or difficult situation, try counting to ten or taking 3-5 deep breaths.
• Pause. For example, if an argument with a spouse becomes more serious, stop and apologize. You can say this: "I'm overwhelmed with emotions right now. I need to take a fifteen-minute break, and then we can return to the conversation." Go somewhere else, take a couple of deep breaths, and start repeating some phrase to convince yourself: "I can handle this. I can do anything."

1. Focus on your feelings. When a person experiences stress, the body can perceive it as an attack and force us to either fight or run. Because of this, the hormone adrenaline enters the bloodstream, which narrows the blood vessels, forcing breathing to accelerate and become shallow, and the heartbeat to increase. Over time, the brain can get used to a similar response to stimuli and will automatically respond to a similar one.

   Take a couple of deep breaths. When the body is forced to fight or flee, the sympathetic nervous system can influence breathing. You may find it difficult to breathe, but try to focus on taking long, deep breaths. This will restore the flow of oxygen to the blood and reduce the amount of lactic acid in the body, which will make you calmer.

   Try to relax your muscles. When a person is stressed, he unconsciously tenses up and tightens his muscles, which increases nervous tension. If you learn to relax your muscles, it will be easier for you to feel calm. Relaxation techniques are based on conscious tension and relaxation of different muscle groups.

   Go in for sports. Exercise is a natural way to improve your mood, because when you exercise, your body releases endorphins, hormones of joy. As a result of a number of studies, it was found that regular exercise makes a person calmer and happier. Whatever you choose (running, gymnastics, yoga, strength training), try to devote at least 30 minutes to sports daily - this will help you relax.

   Search for the source of stress

   1. Think about how stress makes you feel. You may experience many different symptoms in a stressful situation. If you know what to expect, you will be able to control nervous tension. Everyone reacts to stress differently, but there are common manifestations.

      • Psychological manifestations include problems with concentration, memory, scattered attention, indecision, deterioration in creative abilities, worries or frequent thoughts about the bad.
      • Emotional signs are tearfulness, irritability, mood swings, unusual sensations, defensive behavior, lack of motivation, desire to postpone things for later, self-doubt and low self-esteem, despair, nervousness, nervous trembling, aggression or anger uncharacteristic for a person.
      • Physical signs include pain, weakened immune system, weight changes, sleep disturbances, panic attacks, exhaustion, fatigue, lack of sexual desire.
      • Behavioral signs include forgetfulness, lack of self-care, withdrawal from communication, sleep disturbances, relationship problems, inability to manage one's time, lack of motivation, abuse of alcohol, nicotine, or drugs to relieve the condition.

   2. Find the cause of your stress. Is your heart beating fast because you just got cut off on the track, or because you need to show your boss a presentation? Think about it and try to figure out what exactly is bothering you. Often sources of stress are:

      • Family conflicts. Problems with parents, loved ones, or a partner can be stressful.
      • Study or work. You may feel pressured to get good grades, meet deadlines, and achieve certain goals. Stress can also cause a desire to combine work with personal life or the need to make important decisions.
      • Personal problems. This is a pretty strong source of stress. You may worry about not being good enough. You may have relationship, health, or financial problems that make you constantly stressed. Perhaps you are bored or lonely, or you cannot find time for relaxation and for yourself.

   3. Recognize your role. Perhaps stress has become so ingrained in your life that you no longer even notice how closely you are connected with it. Stop and analyze how you perceive stress.

      • Do you often feel nervous tension, even if it is temporary? For example, you can explain your tension by saying that the week at work was difficult. However, if you often feel this tension, it means that the problem was not temporary.
      • Do you feel like stress has become a part of your personality and life? You might be thinking, "Everyone in my family is always worried. We just have that kind of personality" or "My life is just always stressful." Such thoughts make you think that there is nothing you can do about this stress.
      • Do you think someone else is to blame for your stress? For example, you can attribute the stress of writing a thesis to the strict requirements of the teacher, rather than your desire to postpone work until later. This may prevent you from taking actions that would reduce tension.

   4. Think about whether you are worried about the events of the past. Sometimes a person is so immersed in experiences due to past events that it affects his state in the current moment. You cannot change the past, but you can respond correctly in the present and prepare for the future.

      Consider if you are worried about the future. We all worry about the future to one degree or another. However, this is dangerous because you can plunge into the expectation of the future, worry about it and forget about the present moment. This is a bad habit, but you can get rid of it. Remember that the future is not predetermined.

      Plan development

      1. Practice relaxation. Decisions and plans should be made in a calm and relaxed state. If you are stressed or angry, it can negatively affect your ability to evaluate facts, which can lead you to make the wrong decision.

         Decide how you will react. As a rule, there are two types of response to a stressor: you can change either the situation itself or your reaction to it. If you cannot influence the source of stress, you can adjust your response. You can learn new techniques that will help you stay calm in a stressful situation. You can also focus on something else. Try to answer a few questions:

         • Can you avoid stress? Sometimes this is possible, respectively, it is possible to change the situation. For example, if you are constantly unbalanced by a busy work schedule, reconsider your plans and give up some things. You can also learn to turn people down and ask for help more often.
         • Can you change the stress factor? Some sources of stress cannot be avoided, but you can change how you deal with them and make a difference. For example, you and your loved one are arguing about something. This is normal even if you love each other very much. Arguments and quarrels should not cause stress with the right attitude towards them - for example, if you seek a compromise and express your desires directly, and not passive-aggressively.
         • Can you adapt to stressors? Attitudes and reactions to stress can reduce the impact of irritants, even if the situation cannot be changed. For example, traffic jams often piss you off, and you can't control it - you have to get to work, and traffic jams accumulate in cities around the world. However, you can adapt to the situation by choosing public transport instead of a car, finding a different route, or leaving a little earlier or later.
         • Can you deal with stressors? There are things that cannot be changed. You cannot change the feelings, actions, or reactions of other people. You can't do anything about the fact that it rained on your wedding day or that your boss is a selfish fool. However, you can come to terms with the fact that not everything is subject to you. This will allow you to perceive these situations as opportunities for personal growth.

      2. Make a plan. Sometimes you can solve the problem right away with one action, but sometimes you need to act in several stages, and this will take longer. Make a plan of achievable goals and set a deadline for all goals.

         • Many stressful situations can be avoided. If you prepare in advance for important events and have a backup plan for unexpected situations, you will not have to be nervous later. It is much better to prevent something than to deal with the consequences later.

      3. Be realistic. If you continue to be overcome by stress, no matter what you do, and you cannot cope with difficult situations in time, this most likely indicates that you have set unattainable goals for yourself. In a cultural context that praises a person's ability to get things done, it can be hard to accept that you can't do something, or can't do it within a certain time frame. You should reconsider the timing or adjust your expectations. If you cannot do this, then you have a situation that you cannot control. Draw conclusions from your experience and move on to the next task.

         • If you find yourself constantly falling short of someone's high expectations, stop seeking that person's approval and get rid of the martyr syndrome.

      4. Take one step at a time. A difficult problem can cause negative emotions even if you have a plan, but remember: even the longest journey begins with one step. Think of one goal at a time.

         • Be patient and don't pressure yourself. Remember that personal growth takes effort and time. If you encounter difficulties and setbacks (and you most likely will), consider these obstacles that will help you find new ways to solve problems.

      Active actions

      1. Stop putting things off until later. A person tends to put things off because of fear or anxiety that prevents them from moving forward. Perfectionism often becomes a problem as well. You can get so carried away by the need to be perfect (which can be considered something very subjective and often unattainable) that you simply refuse to make something out of fear of doing things the wrong way. Fortunately, there are specific techniques that can help you deal with these behaviors and the stress they cause.

         • Remind yourself that you cannot influence the outcome of the situation - only your actions are in your power. You may worry so much about a coursework grade that you are afraid to start work. Remember that you have power over what you do. You can sit down and write great work. Everything else does not depend on you.
         • Accept the fact that the ideal is an unrealistic standard. No person can be perfect, and ideas about the ideal can be very different. Try to do your best and remember that conclusions about yourself should not be based on the result. For example, a perfectionist student will view a B+ on a test as a failure because they failed to achieve a perfect score. However, another student who is constantly trying to get better will see it differently: he knows he did his best and can be proud of his efforts, despite the assessment.
         • Be careful with the word "should". Statements with the word "should" can prevent you from adequately perceiving things that are beyond your control. For example, you might have this thought: "A good student should always do everything without mistakes." However, this is an unrealistic standard that no one can meet. It is better to rephrase the thought as: "I can try my best and appreciate my efforts, even if I make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes."

      2. Engage in self-awareness. Getting rid of stress is completely impossible, and you probably wouldn't want to do it anyway. Stress can be a sign that you're putting a lot of effort into what's important to you. Self-awareness techniques will help you understand when you are experiencing sensations caused by stress and accept them without judging them. This will allow you to stop thinking about stress. Here are some exercises to practice:

      3. Remind yourself of the key factors of self-awareness. It is important to understand what is happening in the current moment, to allow the situation to continue, to soberly assess it and share your emotions and your personality.

         • Recognize that something is really happening in the current moment. Consciously live this moment. Recognize both negative and positive feelings and thoughts.
         • Let the situation develop as it is. This means that you must accept your thoughts and emotions without judging them. At times, you really want to judge yourself for seemingly negative thoughts or reactions, so try to either avoid or suppress such manifestations. Try to find these thoughts and feelings in yourself and accept them as part of life. For example: "I'm so angry at my husband, but I'm ashamed that I yelled at him."
         • Analyze the situation. At this stage, it is important to express empathy towards yourself and others. Ask yourself what your thoughts and feelings say about your needs right now. For example, if you are angry at your husband and regret yelling at him, you may have negative emotions about both of you: "I'm a bad person because I yelled at him. He pisses me off." Instead, try to approach the situation differently: "I yelled at my husband, and I'm ashamed of it, because I love him. I made a mistake, and I admit it. My husband said something that pissed me off, but I know that he loves me too. We can figure this out together."
         • It is important not to take everything that happens personally. This means that you should not draw general conclusions based on what happened (for example, "I'm a bad person" or "I'm a failure"). Your feelings are part of your experience, but they are not you. Explain to yourself that you can have negative feelings and bad things can happen to you, but they should not affect you as a person.
      4. Pamper yourself. Sometimes a bubble bath and music is enough to relax.
      5. Record your thoughts and experiences in a diary. So you can analyze them in solitude, throwing them out of your head.
      6. If you feel like you might lash out at someone because that person is pissing you off, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and count to ten.
      7. Get some sleep. This will enable you to make the right decision. You will clearly understand what is happening and will not be mistaken in the choice.
      8. You can talk to someone about stress, but if no one is around, write down the cause of stress in a notebook, and then describe everything in a diary.
      9. Distract yourself with computer games or watching TV.

      Warnings

      • Don't blame yourself for everything. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the problem cannot be solved. Sometimes giving up isn't such a bad thing, so don't give up and put yourself down.
      • The wrong reaction to stress or the inability to cope with stress can take years of your life. Not everything is possible, but nothing that needs your attention will change if you just sit and resent. Effort is an achievement in itself.
      • If you get used to hitting things around you when you get angry, you will become a violent and aggressive person. It is better to try to dispel your anger than to pour it out on people or things. Never hit a person or other living being, or make sure the inanimate object you hit won't hurt you.
      • Do not self-medicate. Alcohol and drugs may make you forget everything for a while, but your problems will not go away when you return to reality. Besides, you don't want to add a dependency problem. You yourself may not be worried about it or will not be aware of it, but it will affect people close to you.

Life is surprisingly diverse and rich, unfortunately, not only positive, but also negative events. Everyone wants to remain calm in any situation, but not everyone succeeds.

From the very beginning, the task should be clarified. Do you want to remain calm in any situation? Most likely only in negative(disturbing, angry, annoying, frightening, etc.) situations? It is unlikely, for example, that a girl, having heard a marriage proposal, will think: “No joy! Peace, only peace!" In pleasant and positive situations, on the contrary, you want to be as restless as possible. From happiness, people jump to the ceiling and shout "Hurrah!" publicly.

Perhaps the task is even narrower. Not "Stay calm in any negative situation", but "Learn not to cry" / "Learn not to be offended" / "Learn to control anger" and so on, depending on what specific problem worries.

The more exactly if you manage to determine the task, goal, direction of work on yourself, the better.

You need to understand that reaching a state where absolutely nothing disturbs or worries is tantamount to depriving yourself of all emotions, both good and bad.

A dispassionate person cannot, while maintaining Olympian calm in a stressful situation, immediately become expressive, emotional and sensitive in a positive one. To become completely serene is a super-task, which only Buddhist monks aspire to.

Not necessary strive for absolute calmness in any situation. The calmness that is worth striving for is, in fact, the ability wisely, with understanding and acceptance look at the unpleasant things happening around and the negative emotions that are born in the soul.

Calmness as a skill and character trait

Calmness differs from emotionlessness in that the person who feels it feels an exciting emotion, is aware, but knows how to control it, he is not insensitive, but balanced.

The ability to remain calm in an exciting situation is connected with the ability to control emotions. In many ways, these two skills overlap. To learn how to control your emotions, read the article. There you will also find additional practical advice on how to stay calm.

It is easier for some people, by virtue of their character and temperament, to remain dead, for others it is more difficult. The ability to remain calm also depends on the most exciting situation, its scale, duration, repetition and complexity.

Calmness requires experience, mental strength and wisdom, which is why the older the person, the calmer he is. Calmness itself comes with age, but it can be learned, and at any age.

Learning to be calm means secure yourself in advance from various future stresses and anxieties. Prevention is always better than dealing with the problem that has already arisen. But difficulties are different, therefore, one hundred percent guarantee that having learned calmness, you will be able to cope with any excitement, No.

It is clear that what more often and better be able to remain calm in stressful situations smaller Situations like this are going to be exciting!

Mastery of any skill is education, involving repetition of actions, training and consolidation of acquired knowledge in practice. Once a habit has been developed, it becomes a habit, and the habit will affect the character. In this way, you can come to peace as character trait.

What kind of knowledge is this, the application of which in practice will help to remain calm in any problem situation?

Three rules of peace

In order not to be nervous and remain calm in an exciting situation, psychologists recommend remembering regulations:

1. Stop signal rule. It is recommended to come up with a certain signal for yourself, which will become a lever for switching to the “calm” mode. It would be nice to remember in what situations it turned out to quickly regain calmness. What kind of situation is this and with what (with what object, action) is it associated?

For many people, the signal to bring themselves into a balanced state is phone ring.

Example. The wife yells at her husband and breaks the dishes, but suddenly her phone rings and no one wants to talk to her, but the boss. Will the woman be able to calm down? In a fraction of a second! Not just calm down, but completely change, become friendly and sweet!

In moments when anxiety overcomes, a sobering and returning bell should “ring” in the head. Any image can be such a signal: a light switch, a light bulb, a knock on the door, an alarm clock, a fan turning on, falling snow - anything that is associated with the need to calm down or calmness.

1. Rule "Don't rush!" Whoever understands life is in no hurry. Haste reduces the quality of the actions performed, and their number does not increase at the same time (it only seems!), but the most important thing is that hasty body movements overstimulate the brain, which is expressed as excitement, fuss, panic, anxiety, aggressiveness.

In order not to feel the rush and excitement in a stressful situation, you need to move, take actions and talk in medium or slow pace. No running and screaming!

It is better to change the habit of speaking loudly and very quickly to a calm and measured speech half a tone quieter. You need to speak in such a way that your own ears enjoy it.

In order not to rush anywhere, you need everything in advance to plan and count. In an extraordinary situation, you need to act quickly, but not hastily, to believe that everything will be in time, and not worry: “I won’t have time!”. Panic never leads to a positive result.

In the end, if it happened to be late somewhere or not to be in time for something, it means that it was necessary and this is for the best; it means that in the subconscious there was a setting “Something unpleasant is waiting there” and in fact, I didn’t really want to appear on time or have time!

Everything will work out! Everything always happens on time!

1. The rule "Analyze, not dramatize!" Too many people, overcome by negative emotion, begin to exacerbate the situation: “This is how it always is!”, “All of you are like that!”, “No one loves me!” - it's all exaggeration.

You won't be able to keep calm if you don't start analysis situation, but start complaining, indignant, objecting, crying, and so on.

Logical analysis switches the brain into “thinking” mode, from emotions to reason. Instead of immediately calling a girlfriend and complaining about fate, it is better to think about the situation alone.

Talking about a problem is good only once, everything else is turning a fly into an elephant.

What happened, happened, it doesn't matter anymore. It's important what to do now how to solve the issue. It’s definitely impossible to solve the problem with excitement and violent emotions, you need to think about how to eliminate the consequences and prevent a recurrence of such a situation.

If you have to worry not because of a particular situation, but because of general situation(in the family, at work, in the country) helps to calm down question“Does this excitement make my life better and happier? Will something change for the better because I'm worried?

It is impossible and unnecessary to control everything and influence everything! Excitement in a situation where nothing can be changed should be replaced by an effort of will with faith in the best and a revision of views on the problem.

Calm Techniques

Without thorough work on oneself, it is difficult to learn how to remain calm in difficult situations, but there are auxiliary techniques and tools that can greatly facilitate the process of self-control and management of emotions.

Helps to calm down:

1. Proper breathing. This is an even, deep, diaphragmatic breathing, when the stomach rises when inhaling through the nose, and retracts when exhaling.

2.Aromatherapy. Scented candles, aroma lamps, oils - there are many ways to soothe your inflamed mind with the smell. A simple example: most people associate the smell of tangerines with a holiday, it will surely help to relax.

1. Reading. While reading, the brain works in a special, soothing frequency mode, a person is distracted from the outside world and plunges into a fantasy world.
2. Music. Everyone has their own special compositions that can soothe and uplift the mood. There are also melodies specially created for relaxation, relaxation, sleep, quiet work (they can be easily found on the Internet).
3. Physical exercise. A great way for those who like to get hung up on thoughts about a problem. When muscles work, a lot of energy is released, including negative energy. All the restlessness that accumulates in the body is released as a result of alternating tension and relaxation of the muscles. It is not necessary to play sports, just cleaning the house is enough to properly strain physically.
4. Water. A shower or bath will help in the morning and evening, and drinking clean water during the day. Water improves metabolism, makes the brain work more actively, and harmonizes the nervous system.
5. hobby. This is a way to compensate for negative experiences with positive ones and get distracted.
6. Comfort. Anything can annoy: tight shoes, hot clothes, an uncomfortable chair, someone screaming, music, unpleasant smells, and so on. People sometimes do not even notice these stimuli or ignore them, and in the meantime, they continue to shatter the nervous system. Maximizing the conditions, you can calm your nerves. If possible, eliminate irritants and add calming elements to your atmosphere and environment.
7. Walks in the open air. Oxygen improves brain function, and moving forward is associated with moving towards success. The ability to go out into the fresh air and walk in the heat of anger has saved more than one friendship, love and working relationship.
8. Dream. Overwork is a common cause of restlessness and nervousness, and sleep is the best medicine in this case.

And finally, if it is possible not to get into an exciting situation, it is better to avoid it, at least during those periods when there is a lack of strength for self-control.

Where do you most often lose your composure?