In the modern world, not knowing the rules of etiquette means going against society, exposing yourself not in the best way.

We present you a selection of the current rules that every self-respecting person and others should know:
1. Never come to visit without a call
If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers. One British lady said that when intruders appeared, she always put on shoes, a hat and took an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!”. If unpleasant: "Oh, what a pity, I have to leave."

2. The umbrella never dries open - neither in the office nor at a party
It must be folded and placed in a special stand or hung.


3. The bag can not be placed on your knees or on your chair
A small elegant clutch bag can be put on the table, a bulky bag can be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor if there is no special high chair (these are often served in restaurants). The briefcase is placed on the floor.


4. Cellophane bags are only allowed upon return from the supermarket
As well as paper branded bags from boutiques. Carrying them with you later as a bag is redneck.


5. A man never carries a woman's bag.
And he takes a woman's coat only to carry it to the locker room.


6. Home clothes are trousers and a sweater, comfortable but having a decent look.
Bathrobe and pajamas are designed to get to the bathroom in the morning, and from the bathroom to the bedroom in the evening.


7. From the moment the child settles in a separate room, get used to knocking when entering him
Then he will do the same before entering your bedroom.


8. A woman may keep her hat and gloves on indoors, but not her hat and mittens.


9. The total number of jewelry according to the international protocol should not exceed 13 items
And this includes jewelry buttons. A ring is not worn over gloves, but a bracelet is allowed. The darker it is outside, the more expensive the decorations. Diamonds used to be considered an adornment for the evening and married ladies, but recently it has become permissible to wear diamonds during the day. On a young girl, stud earrings with a diamond of about 0.25 carats are quite appropriate.


10. Rules for paying for an order in a restaurant
If you say the phrase "I invite you" - it means you pay. If a woman invites a business partner to a restaurant, she pays. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.


11. The man is always the first to enter the elevator, but the one closest to the door gets out first.


12. In a car, the most prestigious place is considered to be behind the driver.
He is occupied by a woman, a man sits next to her, and when he gets out of the car, he holds the door and gives the lady a hand. If a man is driving, it is also preferable for a woman to take a seat behind him. However, wherever a woman is sitting, a man should open the door for her and help her out.
Recently, in business etiquette, men are increasingly violating this norm, using the motto of feminists: "There are no women and men in business."


13. Talking out loud about being on a diet is bad form.
Moreover, it is impossible under this pretext to refuse dishes offered by a hospitable hostess. Be sure to praise her culinary talents, while you can not eat anything. You should also deal with alcohol. Don't tell everyone why you can't drink. Ask for dry white wine and sip lightly.


14. Taboo topics for small talk: politics, religion, health, money
Inappropriate question: “God, what a dress! How much did you pay?" How to react? Smile sweetly: "This is a gift!". Move the conversation to another topic. If the other person insists, say gently, "I don't want to talk about it."


15. Every person who has reached the age of 12 is supposed to be addressed to "you"
It's disgusting to hear people say "you" to waiters or drivers. Even to those people with whom you are well acquainted, in the office it is better to turn to “you”, to “you” - only in private. The exception is if you are peers or close friends. How to react if the interlocutor stubbornly “pokes” you? First, ask again: “Excuse me, are you contacting me?”. Otherwise, a neutral shrug of the shoulders: “Sorry, but we didn’t switch to“ you ”.


16. Discussing those who are absent, that is, simply gossiping, is unacceptable
It is not permissible to speak badly about loved ones, in particular to discuss husbands, as is customary with us. If your husband is bad, why don't you divorce him? And in the same way, it is not permissible to speak with contempt, with a grimace about your native country. “In this country, all goons…” - in this case, you also belong to this category of people.


17. Having come to the cinema, theater, to a concert, you should only go to your seats facing the seated
The man goes first.


18. Nine things should be kept secret:
Age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of the medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

An educated person lives in harmony with himself and those around him. It is impossible to become well-mannered all at once, or only in some cases, good manners are not a suit or a dress that is kept in the closet until the big occasion. You either have education or you don't.

What is good manners?

A person is judged not by clothes, but by manners, by how he behaves in society, how he treats others, how he talks and gesticulates. Generally speaking, good manners are the presence or, conversely, the lack of respect for people. The old adage “Treat people the way you want to be treated” will probably never get old. You can not read treatises on the ability to behave in society, but simply act in accordance with this proverb, and you will pass for a very pleasant and well-mannered person with refined manners.

Why are good manners important?

Having good manners is also very helpful. We have to communicate with many people every day - at work, in transport, with friends, and its result depends on how friendly this communication will be. Without observing at least elementary rules of decency, it is difficult to adapt to a new society. It can be seen that successful and self-confident people are almost always well-mannered. About people who have achieved their goals, earned recognition, and, at the same time, are calm and restrained, they often say: "He has aristocratic manners, it is pleasant to communicate with him."

Good manners in today's society

Very often you can hear - in modern society there is no time for manners. However, a person who speaks loudly, is dressed dirty or yawns at all times, except for rejection, does not cause anything. Another thing is that some manners have changed, but not lost. Modern manners are based on respect for the other person, but convenience and practicality come to the fore. For example

1. Let the woman go forward, open the door in front of her. Now the door is opened by the one who is more comfortable, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. If a man with a child is in front of the girl, naturally, she will open the door for him.
2. Men must give way to women. Just as in the first case, the one who is easier stands, and the woman may well give way to a disabled man.

Rules for good manners

What should be done and how to behave in order not to be considered ignorant? The basic rules of etiquette and good manners are simple: be reserved, benevolent, in control, and behave naturally.

1. There is no need to hide from everyone that you are seeing or trying something for the first time. It would be better if you were taught how to do it than to be publicly embarrassed.
2. It is very important to look good, and this is not about clothes. It is unacceptable to sit with your legs wide apart, or putting the ankle of one foot on the knee of the other, shouting loudly and gesticulating widely.
3. Do not chew gum while talking and do not look at your watch or cell phone.
4. Do not come to visit without warning, if you find people in pajamas in an uncleaned room, you will feel inconvenience.
5. Be sure to knock on the room before entering, and it doesn't matter if it's the boss's office or the child's nursery.
6. Naturally, you can not read other people's letters, and in modern conditions, SMS, electronic messages.
7. No need to talk with a full mouth and, moreover, wipe your mouth with your hands - use a napkin.
8. Good manners for a girl is never to put her bag on her lap or on the table. A small clutch is allowed, but a fashionable tote bag is only on the floor or can be hung on the back of a chair.

How to deal with manners?

The main sign of bad manners is to point out to other people their bad manners. It is better to take a closer look at yourself, you can probably find a couple of bad manners.

1. If you are irritable, flare up over trifles and can be rude in the heat of the moment, try to control yourself. Practice breathing deeper at home, counting during an attack of irritation, use what works best, and gradually it will become a habit.
2. Bad manners can be caused by ignorance, especially if you are in another country. Ask, or better yet, find out in advance how to behave, what are the customs in this area.
3. If you are inattentive to people, or simply do not notice the need for help - ask, thereby you will pass for an attentive person and gradually get used to taking care of others.
4. Write down all your bad habits, manners, ask someone you trust what annoys you, analyze what situations provoke them. At first, you can ask a loved one to gently draw your attention to the manifestation of bad manners, later you will see them yourself and be able to control them.

How to learn good manners?

Can good manners be learned? How can a woman learn good manners so that a situation does not arise: she seemed beautiful and spiritual until she spoke? The rules of behavior are brought up in childhood, but this does not mean that an adult cannot master them.

1. First of all, learn to be calm. A calm reaction to stimuli contributes to the development of self-control, and self-control will not allow you to flare up and commit an act that you may later regret.
2. Cultivate a positive perception of the world around you. A well-mannered person is not one who refrains from answering if he is pushed, but one who is not offended by a push at all.
3. Try not to provoke situations in which a feeling of embarrassment may arise, and if such a situation arose through no fault of your own, make a distraction.
4. Remember what annoys you in other people and try not to repeat it.
5. Be polite in all situations, politeness is the basis of good manners, do not allow rude expressions, disregard for people.
6. Carefully observe those who seem to you a well-mannered person and try to repeat their actions in different situations.
7. Watch your speech - do not allow jargon or technical terms, not to mention outright vulgarism. The secret of correct speech is simple - read! Especially Russian classical literature, the more you read, the faster your speech will improve, and enough has been written about good manners in books.

Films about good manners

There are films on which you can learn the correct manners of behavior:

1. "How to Become a Princess" Is it possible to change manners and remain yourself.
2. "Pride and Prejudice"- how to successfully marry without a dowry, but with impeccable manners.
3. "Kate and Leo"- sophistication and slowness of the 19th century and crazy New York of the 20th.
4. "Miss Congeniality" Are a policewoman and a good upbringing incompatible?
5. "The Devil Wears Prada"- what lies behind the good manners of a successful lady?
6. "My Fair Lady"- how to turn into a society lady from an ugly duckling.

E-ticket is a rather complex science, which is fraught with a number of features. The main subtlety is that the rules of etiquette do not always carry an absolute meaning. It all depends on the place, time and circumstances. Having comprehended these rules, each person will be able to avoid embarrassing situations.

A review article on the topic of etiquette rules will give a general idea of ​​​​this concept. We will help you navigate in different life circumstances, when you need to show your best qualities in communication and behavior.

The concept of etiquette

The historical roots of the very concept of "etiquette" lead to France. In a general sense, this term refers to a set of requirements assigned to a particular culture, which in each individual situation are imposed on human behavior.

According to the dictionary definition, etiquette- these are generally accepted rules of behavior in society, established forms of circumvention. The practical essence of etiquette lies in the fact that it allows people to use ready-made rules. behavior, manners and forms communication with different people.

First rule of etiquette

For more than 40 years, World Hello Day has been celebrated annually. It is not for nothing that such attention is paid to this event. The fact is that greetings is the first rule of etiquette.

If communication takes place face to face, then a smile is indispensable. The first impression leaves a deep mark, and there may not be another time to correct your opinion about yourself. Since ancient times, avoiding a greeting has been considered a prime example of bad manners.

Communication etiquette

Etiquette is a tool that allows you to achieve what you want from communicating with loved ones, friends or colleagues. To do this, you need to understand certain rules and use them in practice.

Any communication should begin with a polite greeting and proper treatment. Even if the conversation is tiring or does not arouse interest, you need to pay attention to the interlocutor. In this case, you will find his location and keep a good impression of yourself.

Details speech etiquette we outlined in detail in, let's add just a couple more words about the concept that is relevant today - the rules of talking on the phone.

telephone etiquette

Even the shortest telephone conversation should be carried out in accordance with the generally accepted rules of etiquette, be it business or domestic. Today, almost everyone has a mobile phone in their pocket. Therefore, the culture of communication by telephone lives and develops in step with the times.

Communication has always brought people together, even if it's just talking on the phone. Such a conversation should fit within the framework telephone etiquette. It is important not to forget the words of greeting and farewell, to be able to clearly express thoughts and stop in time, giving the floor to the interlocutor.

Etiquette norms are studied from school and throughout life. Companies that care about their reputation even conduct special training for employees on how to communicate on the phone. When carrying out business negotiations, not only the personal authority of the speaker is put at stake, but also the image of the organization.

Behavior rules

A person does not go beyond the socio-cultural space throughout his life. Thanks to established rules of conduct, he maintains normal relations with others. This is important for every educated person.

Mutual respect can be earned by adhering to the rules of courtesy. Non-conflict people show restraint, do not allow harshness and rudeness in their behavior. They try to avoid even the slightest conflicts and ridiculous situations, daily using the basics of etiquette science.

True benevolence, disinterestedness, sensitivity, politeness and tact are the main qualities of a person on which good behavior is built. They are important at all stages of communication and relationships. Such qualities will allow you to soothe mental pain, smooth out resentment and completely prevent grief.

Good manners

Mastering good manners enriches the spiritual beauty of a person. They are directly related to the right upbringing. Such manners are manifested in gait, clothing, facial expressions, intonation, actions, and treatment of people.

A cultured person should be able to behave with restraint, modestly, tactfully and attentively towards others. He must be held accountable for his words and deeds. These are the key qualities upon which good manners are built. And they, in turn, are regulated by etiquette. Therein lies their intimate connection.

At one time, Goethe compared the manners of a person with a mirror reflecting his portrait. These words have not lost their meaning and relevance in the modern world. The surrounding people notice everything, they judge a person by behavior, which sometimes gives out more than we would like. To be on top, you need to never stop monitoring your manners.

Etiquette at the table

When going to a gala event or a family dinner party, a romantic date in a cafe or a business meeting in a restaurant, it is important not to forget about good manners and table etiquette rules. A cultured person should know them so as not to lose face.

Table etiquette is due to a number of features and national traditions, but at least the generally accepted rules must be remembered. The culture of behavior at the table seriously affects the impression of a person. The inability to properly eat, take food or drink can turn away from communicating with such a person.

Modern table etiquette rules are available to everyone. They reveal the purpose and use of serving items, regulate the norms of behavior during meals. Mastering this difficult science will make you feel much more confident at any table.

Away etiquette

It may seem that being a guest is easy and fun. In fact, to become a welcome guest, you need to be able to behave beautifully, that is, to observe guest etiquette. Every educated person should learn its prescriptions and subtleties. No wonder the term “persona non grata” is widely used, which literally means an unwanted guest.

You need to be able to come at the appointed hour, in a good mood, not empty-handed. You also need to leave on time, with gratitude for the invitation and a warm welcome. It is important to be able to behave with dignity in any environment and company.

Norms and rules of etiquette

The norms and rules of etiquette have been honed over the centuries. Changes are made to them by different peoples who honor their national and cultural traditions. Despite this, there are generally accepted attitudes of behavior and communication between people.

Every educated person sets himself the task of not only getting acquainted with the rules and norms of etiquette, but also tries to follow them. This is an important component of the internal culture of the individual.

Basic rules of etiquette

The treasury of etiquette rules does not cease to be filled with the development of society. In it you can find norms and rules of conduct for all occasions. Every self-respecting person should know at least the basic ones. In this article, we only give an overview of the concept of "rules of etiquette", you can easily find specific examples on the net.

Following key ethical rules simplifies interaction and generally makes life easier in society. Their observance allows a person to show his upbringing and education.

Good etiquette rules

Following the rules of decency does not mean at all that someone should dance to someone else's tune. A person who truly respects himself and others will, in any situation, try to adhere to good etiquette rules so as not to inconvenience yourself and others. To do this, it is enough to master simple and useful rules of good taste. Then not only personal life, but also the surrounding reality will become more beautiful, kinder.

Applying the rules of good etiquette is a guaranteed success. They will help you quickly establish good contact, cause the right reaction and generally feel confident.

Rules of etiquette in society

A person, being a social being, must behave in society with dignity, guided by the rules of etiquette. They are aimed at ensuring that the behavior is natural, not simulated.

Sincere feelings have always been valuable. To express them, each member of society must strive for self-improvement. The inner harmony of a person is achieved by combining high morality with exemplary manners that follow from the rules of etiquette in society.

Etiquette for girls, men, children

Today, the days of chivalry are rarely remembered, how nobly real heroes treated women. Where can you find such gentlemen now? They can be seen only on the movie screen than to meet in real life. Real ladies are also rare today. A girl with refined manners is a rare guest in our area.

The fact is that the weaker sex today communicates on an equal footing with men. And the representatives of the stronger sex are afraid or do not know how to demonstrate their gallantry. Gender differences are being erased, but the rules of etiquette for today's girls and men are no less relevant than in ancient times.

The subtleties of graceful manners are important not only for adults, but also for children. They will help convey the correct model of behavior in society. The child will be able to easily communicate with peers, relatives and strangers. Having mastered the rules of good manners, children will learn to behave at school, at the table, in the cinema. Their social adaptation to adult life will be painless.

office etiquette

Service etiquette is a set of expedient rules established in labor collectives in order to determine the behavior of employees. These rules correspond to moral and moral principles. Compliance with the prescribed requirements should be mandatory for both managers and subordinates.

Service etiquette rules are essential for maintaining a normal working climate and increasing productivity. Their implementation is of fundamental importance for stable and fruitful cooperation with customers and partners.

Service etiquette prescribes the requirements for behavior not only within your team, but also in cooperation with external entities. Maintaining business communication with foreign partners, you need to know their rules of etiquette, traditions and customs. Only such relationships can become long-term beneficial for both parties.

We talked in general terms about the rules of etiquette and the components of this concept for different aspects of human life. The details of good manners in different circumstances are appropriate to consider separately, in detail, for each situation. It is impossible to reflect the rules of conduct in all the subtleties in one material. Therefore, we consider this article a starting point in the world of etiquette and will use it as the content for subsequent articles on this topic.

Article added: 0000-00-00

"Greetings

Greeting is the most common custom in our daily life, requiring a great sense of tact, good manners and friendliness.

Any conversation begins with a greeting, there are many forms of greeting, and each form has its own origin.

How to greet?
Who greets first?
Who and where to greet?

The general rule of greeting at a meeting: the younger ones are the first to greet the elders, the men are the women, exceptions to this rule: the one who enters the room, be it a man or a woman, is the first to greet those present, the one who leaves is the first to say goodbye to those who remain.

In the case when there are several people in the room, they first greet the mistress of the house, then other women, then the owner and other men.

When greeting a man, a woman is the first to give a hand. If she is limited to a bow, then a man should not extend his hand to her. The same is true between older and younger men.

Men always get up (except for the very old and the sick, who find it difficult to get up), greeting both women and men.

A woman, greeting a man, does not get up; greeting the woman, he gets up. Exceptions: the mistress of the house, receiving guests, always gets up to greet them; women also stand up to greet very elderly men.

Having greeted his peer, a man can sit down. If he greets an older man or woman, then he should sit down only after they sit down, or with their permission. If the hostess of the house offers to sit down, but she herself continues to stand, you should not sit down.

It was not accepted (and even now most people continue to refrain from doing so) to greet and say goodbye across the threshold, across the table, through some kind of partition.

However, in recent years, even at the highest levels, leaders of countries or governments have shaken hands across a table or some kind of barrier. The chiefs of the protocol departments of the ministries of foreign affairs refrain from commenting on this matter.

Who greets whom first under "equal conditions" (age, gender, social status)? To answer this question, perhaps, we should recall the paragraph of the French military regulations, which states that of equal officers, the more well-mannered one greets him first at a meeting. In fact, this is the only correct solution to the issue, not only for the military, but also for civilians.

Not to accept a hand extended to you means to inflict a grave insult on the one who gave it: this is done only in relation to persons who are considered either extremely unworthy or extremely hostile.

If you are wearing gloves, then when greeting, you need to take off the glove, the exception is for women greeting men: they do not take off the glove.

Naturally, women in such cases do not kiss hands. The custom of kissing women's hands in the West is more common than ours. It is preserved in cases where, depending on certain circumstances (anniversaries, awards, etc.), they want to emphasize special respect and affection for a woman.

The kiss should be "symbolic", expressed in a completely light touch of the lips to the hand. A juicy "smack" is considered vulgar. Both in the West and in our country they do not kiss the hands of girls. It is also not customary to kiss the hand when meeting on the street. During receptions, guests kiss the hand only of the mistress of the house.

Introducing when meeting

As a rule, you should always introduce people you know to each other if they approach you while you are talking to someone and if those you are talking to do not know them.

Presentation order: first you call the youngest in age (at the same age - by position, with an equal position - approached), introducing him to the elder, and then introducing the elder to the younger.

If a man and a woman are introduced, they introduce the man first, then the woman. Doing the opposite is considered highly inappropriate.

Exception: if a young woman is introduced to a very old man, the woman is introduced first.

When presented, they are called: name, patronymic, surname, sometimes - if required - a brief indication of social status is added (engineer, doctor, teacher, etc.). Naturally, when meeting very famous people - writers, artists, scientists, etc. - this addition is omitted: it would show that you consider the person to whom you introduce the "celebrity" to be a very ignorant person.

If you want to meet someone present during meetings, exhibitions, or other ceremonies, it is better if you are introduced to this person by someone who knows both you and the person you want to meet. If there are no such people, then it is allowed to introduce yourself, but this can be done only in exceptional cases, the importance of which would justify such a deviation from etiquette, with the obligatory observance of the necessary "distances" (for example, it would be immodest for an ordinary engineer to introduce himself to the minister, etc. .), so as not to run the risk of encountering even very polite bewilderment.

However, self-representations are allowed in practice. In such cases, you should first apologize, then, identifying yourself, indicate your position or profession and, in the case of a favorable attitude towards you, briefly state the reason that made you ask for a few minutes for you.

When you are asked to introduce someone you know, in many cases (except for those in which you have absolutely no doubt) it is better to first find out the relationship of the person you want to meet with this proposed acquaintance, such a procedure will protect you from the possible reproaches and discontent of those who did not at all want to acquire these acquaintances.

You are visiting and you have guests

First of all, a general rule: people visit only by invitation, even if they say to you: "We are always glad to see you" or, moreover, "You are always a welcome guest", elementary courtesy requires that the day and hour of your visit to friends or friends have been agreed with them in advance, exceptions to this rule can only be allowed in relation to close relatives and very large "bosom" friends. But even in relation to them it is necessary to observe tact and, if a meeting is desirable or necessary, try to warn about it in advance.

Without prior agreement, you can also not bring your friends, acquaintances, children with you to visit. They do not take their "four-legged friends" with them to visit. The owners, in turn, should save guests from the presence of their pets - not everyone likes it when a dog sniffs or licks their hands or climbs onto their knees, on their shoulder a cat.

You need to come to visit as close as possible to the agreed time: come earlier - the hostess is not all ready, and she herself is not yet dressed for receiving guests, come later - everything can cool down, burn, etc., and her pleasure from the treat of the guests will be spoiled.

Guests do not bring their bad mood if you know that you are the only or most desired among other guests, and if you have some exceptional circumstances, anything can happen! - hopelessly depressed, bad mood - it is better to call or come to the invitees 15 minutes before the appointed time, explain the situation and apologize to those who invited for the inability to accept their invitation for that day. You will be understood, because most people, receiving guests or going to visit, expect and give preference not to a plentiful and tasty table, but are looking for an interesting conversation, a lively exchange of opinions, human warmth and friendship.

It is a good custom to bring flowers when visiting, which the hostess should put in a conspicuous place. Less often they bring small gifts - a book, a toy for children, etc.

The issue of children when receiving guests is very important. Bringing children with you to visit is possible only by agreement with the inviters. On the other hand, when receiving guests in the presence of your children, you need to be aware that your, perhaps legitimate, admiration for their talents should not necessarily be shared by the guests. Therefore - less stories about their abilities, even less - demonstrations of them.

If your child has become naughty or committed any offense in the presence of guests, do not punish him in front of them. Without noise and abuse, it must be removed, not including guests in the process of education (the latter is permissible only in cases of very close acquaintance and friendship between families).

Children should not be allowed to interfere in the conversation, interrupt the elders, whisper something "secretly" in your ear, pester the guests with questions or their stories, if they are not invited to this.

When you come to visit your children, do not let them run around the apartment without permission, climb on the sofa, armchairs (you need to wean this at home), open drawers, rearrange things, etc.

Other children should not be reprimanded in front of their parents.
A polite guest "does not notice" what may be unpleasant for him, what may seem wrong in the behavior of the hosts. He does not interfere in the differences that may arise between them, does not take the side of any of them. In turn, tactful, polite hosts do not invite guests to be arbitrators in their affairs.

Invitations to guests should be made at least a week before the meeting: everyone can be busy, everyone can have time “scheduled” for many days in advance, and you should not be offended if your invitation is politely answered that, “unfortunately”, for one reason or another, it cannot be accepted on the day you proposed.

Of course, you should not invite at the same time people about whom you know that they do not like each other. If you do not know about the nature of the relationship of those invited, it is better to inform each of them about who you are going to meet.

Verbal invitations (at work, at a meeting in the theater, etc.) should not be made in the presence of your other acquaintances, whom you do not invite. You should also not talk about the "wonderful evening" you spent with one of your mutual acquaintances, in the presence of those who also know the hosts of this "wonderful evening", but were not invited to it.

Conversations at the reception of guests should be tried to be made general, to maintain the atmosphere of participation in them of all those invited, however, no one should be forcibly "drawn" into the conversation.

The host needs to be prepared for the role of "chairman of the meeting": if you notice that among the invitees there is a danger of talking on a topic that is obviously undesirable for anyone, you need to try to give the conversation a different direction. Ready-made recipes cannot be given here - this is a matter of your tact and experience.

Unfavorable comments about missing mutual acquaintances should not be maintained and developed. You should try to stop such conversations at the very beginning of their occurrence with some kind of joke, a distracting remark.

With his wife in the presence of those invited - no disputes, no sugary tenderness. Do not exchange a "understanding" look with her in case of any awkwardness, oversight made by any of the invitees. Do not exchange remarks in a foreign language if the guest does not know it - this is especially insulting to him: everyone knows that "secular people" did this in front of their servants so as not to be understood by them.

GIFTS

The custom that is widespread all over the world - to give gifts to each other on various occasions - is beautiful in its human essence: to bring joy, pleasure to another, to bring him some benefit, help.

However, that is why the choice of gifts must be treated with great attention and tact, otherwise, instead of joy and pleasure, you can cause bewilderment or annoyance at best in the person who received a gift from you. After all, you need to remember that in most cases, gifts are symbolic or utilitarian, so if you give a woman a bottle of alcohol, and an old man - heavy dumbbells, then this will be perceived as a mockery. Of course, this is an extreme example of the faux pas of giving gifts, but remember if you have ever witnessed when the person who received the gift appears in bewilderment on the face, meaning: "What should I do with this?"

It is relatively easier to give gifts to people whose tastes, habits, inclinations, or needs you know well. In these cases, it is rarely possible to make a mistake, and the whole thing is only in your material capabilities. BUT how to guess the tastes, inclinations, needs of people unfamiliar to you? Here the main role should be played by your observation in relation to those to whom you want to give something. You need to take care in advance to draw a conclusion about their hobbies and lifestyle based on individual statements, comments. You can get some information about this from their good friends (of course, not by questioning, but by fragmentary remarks, remarks, etc.). You can not just ask those to whom the gift is intended, what they would like to receive. Such questions are allowed only in relation to children, and even then only of preschool age.

The most wrong thing when choosing a gift is to focus on your own taste: it can be very far from the taste of the one you want to please.

They say that unmistakably good gifts are books and flowers. However, when making these gifts, one must observe tact, be sure to take into account the age, gender, profession, etc. of the person who received the gifts. In the West (and in our country) a married man does not give flowers to a girl, a woman - to a man. As for books, we can advise: firstly, you should not give books whose contents you do not know, and secondly, the nature of the books also needs to be correlated with the individual data of the recipient of the gift (gender, age, interests, etc.).

Very expensive gifts should not be given to acquaintances - they put those who received them in an awkward position: after all, it is customary to respond to gifts among "simple acquaintances" in approximately the same way, and not everyone has the opportunity to bring an expensive gift.

From the gifts you bring, you should first remove (if possible) the price index - they are undesirable in all cases.

All gifts (with the exception of flowers) are given or sent unopened.

When a gift is given in person, the recipient must open it in the presence of the giver, unless there is someone present (not from the family members of the giver or recipient) who did not make the gift.

When receiving any gift, thank you for it, even in cases of disappointment or annoyance.

If the gift made to you is an everyday thing, in the future, do not miss the opportunity when meeting with the giver to show that you are using it: this will give him great pleasure, and this, in turn, is a good gift (which, however, does not exclude the expression and response real gratitude).

At the table

The ability to properly behave at the table, to eat beautifully has always been considered one of the criteria by which the general cultural level of a person was judged.

Over time, this etiquette of behavior at the table underwent certain changes: some rules died out, new ones appeared, but the basic norms that will be discussed remained unchanged.

Knowing these rules will help you navigate correctly in all situations related not only to being at a feast, but also participating in official and friendly receptions of various levels, as well as in your daily practice.

Often, especially now, when business relations with foreign firms and enterprises are developing, people have to deal with unfamiliar dishes, types of service, etc. After all, each country has its own culinary characteristics, its own methods of serving guests.

The most reliable recommendations in cases where you have to meet something hitherto unknown - take your time, carefully observe how your hosts or more experienced table neighbors "manage" this unknown. In doing so, you rarely make a mistake. But even if you made it, do not be overly upset: such mistakes of "beginners" are treated with due understanding.

In general, the basic rules of "table" etiquette in our country do not differ from those adopted in most countries of the world.

Sitting at the table, first of all, you should pay attention to your posture. No matter how beautifully the table is decorated and served, no matter how elegantly dressed those sitting at it, their careless, slovenly postures will too clearly violate the harmony of the overall picture.

If you sit upright, but not tense, leaning lightly on the back of a chair that is not so close to the table that you have an involuntary desire to put your elbows on the table, but also not so far away that you have to use all your dexterity, so as not to drop what should be in your mouth on the floor, you will feel how already from this alone your movements at the table will become natural and unconstrained and you will be easy and comfortable.

An exception to this rule can be made if you are talking to a person sitting opposite you and because of a loud orchestra or noise you cannot hear your interlocutor. In this case, leaning forward, you will rely on your elbows placed on the table. However, this is permissible only if the food has not yet been served.

If a woman is sitting next to you, you should help her sit down - pull out a chair, wait until she sits down (and she can sit down only after the mistress of the house sits down), until all the other women and the "chief guest" sit down (he is always on the right from the hostess), then sit down with other men present.

Napkin place. Very elderly people still remember the times when it was tucked into the collar of a shirt (hence the expression “to pawn behind a tie”, which meant a strong drink, came from). Now in our country and in the West, both women and men put a napkin on their knees, where it remains until the end of the ceremony. It is not customary to wipe lips tightly with a napkin. It is only lightly applied to them before drinking wine or water, so as not to leave greasy marks on the glass. Before leaving the table, the napkin should be placed on the right side of the plate, and if the plate is removed, then in the center. In this case, there is no need to carefully fold the napkin, it is enough to put it in such a way that it does not unfold and does not fall off the table.

Serving food begins with the lady sitting on the right hand of the owner. Meals and cigarettes are served from the left hand, soups and drinks from the right. They pick up napkins from the right.

When the food is served to all those present, the hostess, starting first, thereby shows that you can start eating. If there are many guests at the table, there is no need to wait until everyone bends over the plate. In this case, the dishes will cool down and lose their taste. Therefore, after three or four people have been served, the hostess invites them to start eating. If for some reason the hostess does not do this, then it will not be wrong if you, noticing that five or six people have been served, start eating. However, etiquette allows you to do this only after the women sitting next to you have begun to eat.

If a national meal is served or a dish that you have never tried and you do not know which side to approach it, look at how the hostess copes with it. It will not be a violation of etiquette if you contact the hostess with a question about what this dish is made of and how to eat it correctly. It is possible that this dish was served specifically to acquaint guests with the peculiarities of the national cuisine. Your questions in this case will be very helpful.
If you drop your knife or fork, don't try to pick it up. Ask for another device. Not only in this case, but also in all others, when you make a mistake, do not apologize and do not try to correct it by attracting the attention of others.

If any of those present at the table make a mistake, try not to pay attention to it, and even more so do not try to "help" the guilty person by talking about how you or your friend once committed a misconduct that ended more sadly, since it was flooded not only the tablecloth, but also the dress of the hostess was damaged, and serious damage was done to the family service.

If minor offenses associated with awkward, careless movements can be forgiven, then actions that led, even through ignorance or forgetfulness, to violations of the basic rules of conduct at the table can cause the most serious complications.

So, it is not customary to smoke at the table until coffee is served. Many guests may find the smell of smoke unpleasant. In addition, smoking interferes with the perception of the full taste of the food served. Therefore, smoking at the table is considered a manifestation of disrespect for the owners, a demonstration of a dismissive attitude towards their efforts spent on preparing dinner.

A delicate reminder to guests that the hosts do not welcome smoking during dinner is the absence of ashtrays on the table before coffee is served.

The breakfast menu consists of one or two cold appetizer dishes, one hot fish dish, one hot meat dish, dessert, coffee or tea. For breakfast, as a rule, first courses (soups) are not served, but it would not be a mistake to include them in the menu. The lunch menu differs from the breakfast menu in that soup is served after cold starters.

The table is served accordingly. The fork to the left of the plate is intended for snacks, to the right of it, closer to the plate, there is a fork for fish dishes, and, finally, a fork for meat dishes is placed next to the plate. The soup spoon is to the right of the plate. To the left of it, in the same order as the forks, are placed, respectively, a snack knife, a knife for fish dishes and a knife for meat dishes. Knives are placed with the blade against the plate, which, they say, is associated with rather interesting historical traditions. In the era of feudalism, weapons were used easily and often. Therefore, in order not to overshadow the atmosphere of feasts, as a reminder of the need to restrain passions, as well as a symbol of peaceful intentions, the blades of the knives were turned not towards the neighbor, but the plates.

The forks are placed with the tip up, and the spoon with the bulge down, so that the tines of the fork and the sharp edges of the spoon do not spoil the tablecloth.

No more than three pairs of knives and forks are ever placed on the table. If necessary, some dishes are additionally served with knives, forks and other serving items. For example, for dishes of oysters and crabs, you will be served a special small fork, and for fruits - a fruit fork and a fruit knife. Directly behind the plate, parallel to the edge of the table, lies a dessert and a teaspoon.

If oil is served, then the knife for it lies on a small saucer for bread, which is placed on the left side of the plate. Appliances for salt and pepper are also placed on the left side of the plate, but a little closer to the center -

The napkin is placed on a plate. She can be placed next to her only if, even before the guests are seated at the table, it is necessary to put some food on the plate. If a napkin is placed next to a plate, then, according to etiquette experts, this will indicate a very immodest intention of the owners to demonstrate the beauty of the service, which can cause negative emotions in guests, equivalent to those that appear when they see a golden ring worn over a glove.

At official breakfasts and dinners, both here and in the West, it is customary to serve guests with second and third (and sometimes more) courses twice. This must be borne in mind in order to decide for oneself the question: is it possible to leave part of the meal half-eaten? If you liked it and would like to be offered it again, then, having finished with the first "portion", put the knife (on the right) and fork (on the left) with sharp ends into your plate: this is a sign to the attendants that in case of the second after this meal, it was again offered to you. If you did not like the dish or were satisfied with its quantity, then you should put the knife and fork together on the plate on the right - this means that you will not take this dish during the second run.

If you liked the dish, then at the second run-out, both here and in the West, for the most part, they do not hesitate to take "a little more."

It is considered extremely impolite to talk at the table about your tastes - what you like and what you don’t, and dietary prescriptions given to you by a doctor, about the impact on your health of certain food ingredients, etc.

"Don't be late for your meal!" - this old rule is very firmly adhered to, not only at official ceremonies. Mistresses all over the world really do not like it when guests are late for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Ask them - they will explain to you the reason for this. Late arrivals must not exceed the official protocol allowable limit of 15 minutes. After a half-hour wait, you have no right to be offended if they sit at the table without you or if they don’t offer you a dish that has already bypassed the guests: you violated the “conveyor line” along which the guests are served. The rule that the ancient Romans followed still remains in force: "Tarde venietibus ossa" ("Bone to latecomers!"). Yes, and the seat at the table assigned to you "by rank" can be occupied by another guest, and you should also take this without offense, as a fair punishment. In general, delays in such cases are regarded everywhere as signs of disorganization, lack of assembly of the person who allowed them and his disrespectful attitude towards people dealing with him.

Equally impolite is the arrival at the invitation of a predetermined date: not everything can be ready for the hostess, "there is a lot of trouble," and she has to receive guests, break away from unfinished business. For hostesses, this version of guest negligence is even worse than the first.

A conversation at the table should be conducted with both neighbors, without giving preference to one of them. If you happen to be near strangers, you can introduce yourself to them.

It is considered extremely impolite to consider whether plates, glasses, etc. are clean, and completely unacceptable to wipe them with a napkin or handkerchief. If the dishes seem to you (and even are in fact) not clean enough - endure, without grimacing and not showing the slightest sign of discontent, just draw the necessary conclusions for yourself in case of repeated invitations to this house.

The same stoic position should be taken if something inedible (a sliver, hair, etc.) comes across in your food, which, by the way, can happen even "in the best houses of Philadelphia" "in no case show even the slightest sign If you do not want to acquire an implacable enemy in the person of the hostess - move the "find" to the edge of the plate, cover with a side dish - and continue your meal as if nothing had happened.

The serving of alcoholic beverages is regulated by certain rules.

Cold appetizers are served with pre-chilled tinctures or vodka. As a rule, alcoholic drinks are not served with soup, however, an exception can be made for sherry. The fish dish is accompanied by chilled dry white wine, and the meat dish is accompanied by dry red wine at room temperature (15*-18* C). Chilled champagne or dessert wines are served with dessert, and cognac or liquor is served with coffee.

Thus, each dish is accompanied by a corresponding type of wine. It is unacceptable to demand that wines be served according to your personal taste. A person who violates this rule inevitably creates a reputation for himself as an uncultured, ill-mannered person.

If an informal lunch or breakfast is arranged, for example, in a restaurant where there are few guests, then the person who arranges it either makes the menu himself and pre-orders, or, at the request of those present, orders the dishes that they have chosen. In both cases, the number and range of dishes may not coincide with the menu of official lunches and breakfasts.

Before starting such a lunch or breakfast, its organizer may also ask those present what drinks they prefer. Expressing your personal opinion, you can refuse alcoholic beverages and ask for juice or mineral water. It will not be a violation of the rules of etiquette if you say that you prefer, for example, red wine, and throughout the dinner you will drink only it.

Excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages at all times was considered unworthy of a well-mannered person. Not without reason, even in the rules of conduct developed under Catherine II, it was emphasized that at the table one should "eat sweet and tasty, and drink with moderation, so that everyone could always find their feet when leaving the door."

A person who is familiar with the rules of etiquette will not strive to ensure that his guest, against his own will, drinks too much wine. If your neighbor does not drink this or that offered drink, you should not find out the reason for such behavior, offer to replace the drink, or look for disrespect for you or the owners personally in this.

One should not drink wine when the mouth is full of food.

Toasts at formal dinners or breakfasts are made only after dessert has been served, when champagne is poured.

At informal dinners, as well as at other receptions, toasts may be made more often, but, as a rule, not earlier than ten to fifteen minutes after the start of the reception. After pronouncing a toast, there is no need to drink all the wine poured into a glass. It is enough to raise the glass above the table, bring it to your mouth, sip a little or drink some wine from it.

It is not customary to clink glasses at formal dinners. In general, you should not abuse the chokan. The custom of clinking glasses arose in those distant times, when it was not considered a serious sin to pour poison into the glasses of guests or neighbors at the table. Therefore, in order to assure the guests of his peacefulness, the host not only poured some wine first into his glass and drank it, but during the feast all the guests repeatedly "exchanged wine", that is, they poured from their glass into the neighbor's glass, and then symbolically connected the glasses - clinked.

At the present time, the threat of poisoning is not so urgent, but the process of choking can complicate the course of the feast, especially if there is someone who wants to "connect" his glass with the glasses of all the numerous guests. In any case, while clinking glasses, do not stretch your hand far across the table. If after the toast they clink glasses, then the man should keep his glass lower than the woman's glass.

Wine, rum, cognac, liquor are drunk in small sips, slowly. Only vodka can be drunk immediately to the bottom.

When pouring drinks, the bottle is held with the whole hand at the level of the label so that the index finger is on the neck. When lifting the bottle, it needs to be turned a little so that the wine does not drip onto the tablecloth.

From a full bottle, first pour into your glass. At the reception, before pouring wine into the guests' glasses, one of the waiters pours some wine into the host's glass. After tasting the wine and coming to the conclusion that the quality of the wine is good, the owner gives permission to the waiters to pour the wine into the glasses of the guests.

Many overseas restaurants have a similar rule. After opening the ordered bottle of wine and filling the glass, the waiter waits until the visitor tastes the wine and nods his head to indicate that he is satisfied with its quality. Otherwise, the waiter is obliged to replace the bottle.

Drinks are poured into a glass and glasses on the table. However, in some cases, for example in Japan, when offering a drink, they wait until the visitor or guest raises his glass, thereby confirming his desire to drink this or that drink. Refusing alcoholic beverages, you should not cover the glass with your hand, with any object, or defiantly turn it over.

Glasses for drinks are placed on the right side of the plate in one line one after another, starting to the left of the largest in size. However, in order to make the table setting look more elegant, a free arrangement of glasses is more often used, in which the rule is observed: large glasses should not cover smaller ones. For example, a water glass will be located directly above the knives, a champagne glass at a short distance to the right of it, wine glasses will be located between these two glasses closer to the plate, a vodka glass will be directly above the soup spoon.

The stronger the drink, the smaller the glass or glass into which it is poured. Therefore, vodka and liqueurs are poured into small glasses. Cognac is usually poured little by little into large glasses, tapering upwards. In them, the aroma of the drink is better felt. For wines, tulip-shaped glasses are used, but unlike dessert wine glasses, dry wine glasses are larger, with a wider top and a longer stem.

For any wine, glasses of medium size, transparent, uncolored glass can also be used. Glasses made of colored glass are used only for white wine. A champagne glass can be of two types - either narrow and tall on a long stem, or a wide and low bowl.

Rules for handling knives, forks, spoons, etc. have been developed over many years, and their main purpose is not at all, as many believe, to entangle the process of eating with numerous stiff formalities. Compliance with these rules, and this is confirmed by practice, allows the most rational use of cutlery, as well as harmoniously distributing human movements when eating.

Let us dwell on the description of only the basic rules observed when eating.

Soups served in deep soup bowls. However, broth and puree soup are usually served in a cup with one or two handles. They begin to eat the broth and puree soup with a spoon, lightly holding the handle of the cup with their left hand. Once the soup has cooled down enough, you can lift the cup by the handle and drink the soup directly from the cup. When lifting a cup, do not stick your finger into the eye of the handle or stick out your little finger.

In order to cool the soup, do not blow into a bowl, cup or spoon. While gently stirring the soup with a spoon, wait until it cools down.

They try to prepare the soup in such a way that it does not contain ingredients that could not be put entirely in the mouth. However, if you still come across large pieces of vegetables, dumplings, dumplings, etc., they are carefully crushed with a spoon.

A little difficulty is usually encountered when there is a little soup left in the bowl and each contact of the spoon with the plate begins to serve as a source of unpleasant sounds. How should you eat soup in such a situation? The most common answer, in a semi-joking manner, recommends tilting the plate away from you when you don't really care about maintaining the tablecloth, but treat your costume with extra care. If the suit is less dear to you than the tablecloth, you tilt the plate towards you. In truth, the Solomonic solution is to leave the soup half-eaten.

It is hardly necessary to dramatize the consequences that the tilting of the plate can cause. Therefore, when there is not much soup left in the bowl, it is customary to slightly lift the plate with your left hand and tilt it away from you. In doing so, you will be able to continue to adhere to the rules for using a spoon without much difficulty, namely: to fill the spoon with soup with a movement away from you.

Eat soup from the edge of the spoon, bringing it parallel to the mouth. Therefore, a soup spoon that is round in shape is most suitable for its purpose.

Meat dishes eat with a knife and fork.

Everyone knows that when eating, the fork should be held in the left hand, and the knife in the right. However, in everyday practice, we tend to neglect this rule, and therefore, when the need arises to use it, it turns out that lack of experience entails a number of errors.

One of the most common is the use of a knife to put food on a fork. With a knife, you can slightly tweak what you are going to take with a fork. You can not cut with a knife everything that is possible, and then use only a fork. Those meat dishes that can be easily dismembered with a fork are not customary to cut with a knife. Such dishes, for example, include meatballs, kebab, meatballs.

When eating food with a knife and fork, they are constantly held in the hands, even at the moment when only the fork is used. When cutting food, the fork and knife should be held at a slight inclination to the plate, and not vertically. The handles of the knife and fork should be in the palms of your hands.

There should be no doubt about which knife and fork to start eating with. No matter how many knives and forks are on the table, you should always start with the device farthest from the plate. As new dishes are served, the knives and forks used change.

Do not lean over your plate while eating. According to etiquette guides, in this position you will resemble a bird pecking at grains.

You should stay as straight as possible, only slightly leaning forward.
If the food you have tasted is very hot, drink some water. Any other action is not allowed. No matter how disappointed you are with the taste of the food, the piece that is in your mouth should be eaten. Only fish bones, as well as fruit seeds, can be taken out of the mouth.

Do not fill your mouth with large amounts of food.

When you need to take a glass or bread, the fork and knife are placed crosswise on the plate: the fork with the convex part up, and the knife with the tip to the left. You can put the fork and knife on the plate so that their handles rest on the table. However, in this case, you will need to exercise increased caution, since with an awkward movement, the knife or fork can slip off the plate and fall on the table.

If you want to show that you have finished eating, do not move your plate away from you, but put a knife and fork parallel to each other on it. In this case, their handles will be turned to the right. The fork should be tines up.

Dishes that need to be taken from the tray by the guests themselves are placed on plates with the help of dispensing forks and spoons. Meals are taken with a spoon, which is held with the left hand, while helping with the fork in the right hand. It is unacceptable to impose dishes from a common dish with cutlery served for one guest.

At the table, as far as possible, you should not take food with your hands.

Game(even the smallest birds) it is customary to eat with a knife and fork. With the help of a knife and fork, as much meat is separated from the bird as your skill and dexterity allow. If there are any difficulties, it is better to leave the food half-eaten.

Given the inevitability of such difficulties, the owners strive to cook and serve the game in such a way as to facilitate the process of cutting it on a plate as much as possible.

Fish dishes eaten with a special fish knife and fork. In this case, the fish is not cut with a knife.

The fish knife came into use relatively recently - during the reign of Queen Victoria in England, and therefore some jealous keepers of traditions, considering it as an "innovation", prefer to eat fish dishes with two forks.

Fish has always been considered a "difficult" food, as fish bones can cause a lot of trouble. A fish knife with a wide rounded end is mainly used to separate fish bones from meat.

If, nevertheless, it becomes necessary to remove fish bones from the mouth, then they should be put on a fork leaning against the lips, and from it on a plate.

Salads, served as accompaniments to roasts and game, they are taken from a large dish with the help of a spoon and fork served along with the dish and put on small plates from which they are eaten.

Before the advent of stainless steel knives, the use of lettuce and fruit knives was avoided, as this caused their surface to darken. Currently, there are no serious reasons not to use a lettuce knife. Besides, it's not so easy to eat a salad without resorting to the help of a knife.

Fish, meat, vegetable and other salads are put on your plate and eaten using a knife and fork.

Bread they take it by hand (not with a fork) from a common plate and put it on a plate specially designed for him. Bread is eaten by breaking off small pieces from it by hand, which can be eaten in one or two meals.

Butter is spread on a piece of bread, which is held with the fingers of the left hand on a plate. You should not butter a slice of bread while holding it on weight. If the cutlery does not include a knife specially designed for butter, any other knife can be used, but care must be taken to ensure that the remains of other foods are not transferred to the butter by this knife.

Jam, jam is first placed on a bread plate, and then put on slices of bread.

You should not crumble bread on a plate in order to pick up the remaining sauce there.

Sandwiches taken by hand if they are served with drinks before the start of dinner. At the table, sandwiches are eaten with a fork and knife.

Cheese is taken with a special fork and put on your plate, and from it on bread or thin dry cookies; melted cheese is spread on slices of bread with an ordinary knife used for butter.

sausage and ham served on the table sliced ​​and peeled, slices of sausage and ham are placed on a plate with a fork and eaten with a knife and fork.

Fruits eat with a fruit knife and fork. An apple and a pear are cut on a plate into four parts or eight slices, then the core is removed, the slices are peeled and eaten, taking them from the plate with their hands.

Break the plums in half with your fingers and remove the pit.

Cherry pits, as well as seeds and hard, grape skins are removed from the mouth as discreetly as possible on a spoon.

Watermelons and melons are served sliced ​​and eaten with a spoon or knife and fork.

Grapefruit is served cut in half, with the edible middle part peeled with a knife and sprinkled with powdered sugar. They eat with a spoon.

The orange is placed on a plate and, holding it with your left hand, the peel is cut with a knife from top to bottom into slices. The peeled orange is cut into slices with a knife. The bones are removed with a knife.

The peel of tangerines is easily removed, so they are peeled and divided into slices by hand without the help of a knife. Bones are removed in the same way as when eating cherries and grapes.

Berries, including strawberries, are sprinkled with sugar and served with whipped cream. They are eaten with a spoon.

A banana can be peeled to half and, holding it in your hand, eat, biting into pieces. However, it is preferable to peel a whole banana, put it on a plate, cut it into pieces and eat it with a fork.

Nowadays, not so often, but still you can see a table served with small cups of water to rinse fingers, which may be stained with fruit juice. These cups are placed on the left side of the plates. Dip your fingertips in water and then wipe them on a paper towel.

At present, the use of a bowl for rinsing fingers is widespread in the countries of the East, where many dishes are eaten with the hands.

Tea and coffee. Probably the least problems arise when you drink tea or coffee. It is rare now to meet a person who would pour tea on a saucer, diligently blow into it, and then not even drink, but draw tea into himself with some special dashing whistle. So they drank tea at the dawn of the 17th century, when tea was brought to Europe from China. The first admirers of this drink used small cups without handles - a copy of Chinese ones.

However, mistakes are made in the handling of these drinks. After stirring tea or coffee with a spoon, leave it in a glass or cup, while it should be put on a saucer. They dip cookies in tea or coffee, and also drink tea or coffee when the mouth is full of food. Taking a cup, they put a finger into the eye of the handle and put aside the little finger.

Sugar in the absence of special tongs, they are taken by hand, and not with a spoon, and lowered into a cup.

Cake and biscuits are eaten with a dessert spoon.

Cookies are eaten by breaking off pieces.

A slice of lemon, taken with a special small fork, is placed in a glass of tea or a cup of coffee, the juice is squeezed out with a spoon, and the rest is taken out and placed on the edge of the saucer.

Lemon is served, as a rule, also with fish dishes and some meat dishes. In this case, the lemon is placed on the dish and, pressing on it with the convex side of the fork, squeeze out the juice.

Tea should be drunk slowly, especially not in one gulp, burning and puffing. But you shouldn't be too slow. Cold tea tastes bad. And besides, you will look ridiculous sipping tea when all the other guests have finished.

In many countries it is customary to invite guests "for coffee". This does not mean that you will only be served coffee. You can also be offered tea, as well as cookies, cake, nuts, and sometimes cognac or liqueurs. But you should not expect that you will be fed meat or fish. And you yourself, when inviting guests for coffee, should not force the table with all kinds of snacks or an abundance of wine bottles.

Putting a napkin on the table or getting up from the table, the hostess (or owner) shows that the dinner is over. Only after this sign, guests can also put down their napkins and get up.

At the end of dinner, getting up from the table, do not leave the chair set aside, but push it back to the table. A man helps his neighbor to her feet by pushing her chair back and then returning it to the table.

You can leave official ceremonies only after the "main guest" in whose honor it was arranged has left. At friendly meetings, on the contrary, one should not wait for the departure of the one who can be considered the most welcome guest by the hosts, whom they would like to keep longer than others.

In such cases, follow the formula J.-J. Rousseau: "An intelligent person retires a minute before he would be superfluous." It doesn't hurt to remember the oriental wisdom: "The guest is necessary for the host, like breathing for a person. But if the breath enters and does not go out, the person dies."

In behavior at the table, in handling cutlery, in the manner of eating, there can be many small details unfamiliar to us, especially in communicating with foreigners - after all, each country has its own specific rules, sometimes depending on the traditions of national cuisine. Therefore - once again: look closely at how the hostess, the owner and your table neighbors act, and do everything as they do - there will be no mistakes.

The rules of etiquette in society are the ability to behave in all situations in which a person can find himself. In the modern world, it is extremely important to know them, to have good manners in order to be pleased with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, affability, benevolence, naturally. So that any, even the best elite society, willingly accepts you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society is a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are several main types of such rules.

1. The ability to present oneself - the rules for the formation of a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, postures, gestures.
2. Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, thanks, give remarks; farewell rules, politeness,
3. Table etiquette - manners at the table, serving standards, the ability to eat.
4. Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, shop, office, etc.
5. Business etiquette - relationships with colleagues, superiors, good business manners, leadership skills, etc.

Ability to present yourself

Good manners, the rules of etiquette, the ability to be a kind person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. A modern person should know how to behave in any circumstances, be able to behave accordingly, be amiable, friendly and self-confident.

Etiquette in clothes

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, the mind is manifested in the choice of clothing for the occasion. To make a good impression, it is not enough to be fashionable or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must reckon with them and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to observe the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and suit you, but it is much more important that all the details of the appearance are organically combined with each other, and that it matches the time, place and atmosphere. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes to work. Each time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, do not forget about your own age, body features. Everything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The exit attire should always be in full readiness. When shaping your wardrobe, remember to include must-have items such as suits, tailored trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home kits.

Personal care

Good manners presuppose the obligatory observance of clean clothes, proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle. It is unacceptable to appear in society unkempt. At the same time, it is important to monitor the appearance in the complex, carefully removing the hair, going out into the "light". These are mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good manners in society

The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, manners of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms do not move widely in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the stomach is tucked up. You can not lift your head high, but you should not walk with your head down. Equally important are postures and gestures. To make a good impression, you need to act simply and naturally. It is considered bad manners to turn something in your hands, twist your hair around your finger, drum your fingers on the table, stamp your feet to the beat of the music, touch any parts of your body with your hands, pull on someone else's clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules here: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information is encrypted, both semantic and emotional. It is necessary to know them by heart, to be able to choose the most appropriate for the occasion and pronounce them in the appropriate tone in time. Masterly, correct possession of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not be very delicate when you say “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it’s completely unacceptable to say hello to the boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men must accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting with a lady, a gallant gentleman kisses her hand, while he should not pull her towards him, but should bend as far as the woman gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the second is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing anyone, state the first and last name. And addressing by patronymic, for example, Ivanovna, is permissible only in the village, but not in secular society.

3. Requests

The word "please" is really magical, it must be heard in all requests. Since the request in one way or another burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: “If it’s not difficult for you”, “Is it not difficult for you?” It is also appropriate to say: "Do me a favor, be kind, could you," etc.

4. Farewell

Before you say goodbye, you should prepare the interlocutor for parting: "It's already late", "Unfortunately, I have to go." It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, such as "I'm glad we met." The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without delay.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural, sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but it is here that one must especially observe the measure.

• No need to try to deliberately embellish the process of eating, for example, eat in very small pieces, set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, not to talk with your mouth full, to chew food thoroughly before putting another portion in your mouth.
• Never drink until you have swallowed the food, unless you have taken hot food in your mouth unexpectedly. If you see that the food is hot, do not blow on it before you start eating.
• Try to eat and drink absolutely silently.
• In society, bread is eaten not by biting off the whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it.
• Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, is supposed to be taken with the end of a clean knife, after pouring it on the edge of your plate.
• Ketchup or mustard as a condiment is offered only in the most casual atmosphere.
• When eating, try not to stain your plate as much as possible, do not stir or smear food on it.
• Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, then you can take the fork with your right hand.
• If you want to drink or take a break from eating, then you need to leave the fork and knife in a crosswise or "house" position.
• The spoon is always taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, the spoon is left there after eating, not laid out on the table.
• At the end of the meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

In public places, there are some specific rules of good taste, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, a vernissage

The rules of conduct in these "temples" of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk through the halls quietly, speak in a hushed tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not get too close to the paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theater, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Previously, a man had to invite ladies to such public places, today it is considered quite decent if a girl herself invites him to a performance, a concert. And even if it is she who pays for tickets for two. A well-bred man should play the role of a gallant gentleman, courting a lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, undress calmly, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society urge you to behave in these places as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. You can not talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Questions and inquiries should be answered politely and in a low voice.

In any establishment, it is important to maintain good manners, to be accommodating, tactful and polite. Most importantly, your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

Business Etiquette

Good manners at work are a must for every employee. What are the aspects of business etiquette? Easy rules will help to understand this issue.

• Compliance with subordination with colleagues and superiors.
• Timely arrival at work and prompt performance of their duties.
• Polite communication with both colleagues and visitors.
• Privacy at work.
• Appropriate clothing for the institution you work for.
• Lack of personal topics in discussions.
• Maintain order in your workplace.
• by phone.

Rules in society help to achieve the goals assigned in business. Thanks to good manners, you can move up the corporate ladder and be a successful self-fulfilling person in everything.

To be a pleasant person in any situation, to want to do business with you, you need to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help not only achieve any goals, but also become a self-confident and happy person.