How to learn to get along with difficult people. Talking to a person you don't like

It is very difficult for all of us to exist alone, it is for these reasons that philosophers say that loneliness is worse than poverty. In our life, those around us, colleagues and friends play a huge role, they are able to make life brighter, full of emotions and events. That is why it is important to learn how to get along with the people who are close to us.

How to get along with people: rules of communication

"People" and "environment" are abstract concepts, so let's break them down into a few categories and look at how to get along with some of them.

Let's first look at how to get along with friends. Try to be who you are, because your friends love you for who you are, and acting up will lead to the fact that all your minuses will come out. That is why we insist that communication should be sincere and simple.

In addition, you yourself must treat your friends with respect, and accept them for who they are. You don't have to fix them or customize them. Everyone is different, you just need to learn how to get along with people.

But sometimes some quality of our friends annoys us, in such cases we advise you to talk to your friend about this topic, and be sure to clarify what annoys him about you. During the conversation, try not to blame each other, otherwise your conversation may end badly, just remember the purpose of your conversation is to eradicate problems.

Before thinking about how to get along with people, just think about how you behave in a team, how often you are offended by your friends. It is resentment over trifles that leads to quarrels. Do not interfere in the privacy of your girlfriend or friend.

If he decided to spend time with his soulmate, do not be offended by him and say that he exchanged communication with you for this “goat”, remember that everyone should have their own personal life, so try to respect the interests and opinions of friends.

What should never be done?

Never talk badly about friends, especially behind their backs, don't let others judge them, and don't do it yourself. Not today, so tomorrow, your friend will find out about your opinions on this or that occasion in a distorted form, and he will forever change his opinion about you. No one wants to tell secrets to a hypocrite and a liar.

Never laugh at a friend. You can joke and tease a friend, but never make fun of him in front of others, because by doing so you put him in a stupid position.

How to get along with your boss

Work is not only the fulfillment of any duties, but also the relationship with people. If you want to raise your level in your career, then you will have to build relationships with your superiors. Here are a couple of tips that will help you answer the question "How to get along with the authorities?"

Look after the image, you must be appropriately dressed where you work. Naturally, you must be neat, the aroma of your perfume should not be harsh. You should look so that it is pleasant to look at you. Apart from all this, you need to be a positive person in order to easily get along with people.

None of your colleagues should guess that you are in a bad mood, or something happened. Always smile, give people positive. Present yourself to the boss only from the positive side. Tell him only good news. This will be very beneficial for you.

Try to be loyal. If your boss is nervous or worried, do not be the cause of these feelings. Therefore, if you are entrusted with any work, do it with great pleasure.

To get along with your boss, study your boss. Understand his desires, logic. After all, if more often you coincide with the desires of the boss, the more he will appreciate you and respect you as a good employee. Consider his features and try to understand what he expects from you. Just never lose your "I".

If you do not agree with the boss, or something does not suit you, then do not argue with him, but offer your own options. Suddenly he will like it, and this is only a plus for you. Do it as tactfully as possible. Be a good professional in your field. A job well done will make your boss happy. Take responsibility, difficult tasks.

Professionals never say "I'm perfect." She is always working on herself to be better and better. Become one of the best in your company. Improve your work, come up with new options, but before showing it to your superiors, check your work carefully, and it is advisable to check it for yourself.

To get along with your boss, you must perform well. If you stick to the rules, then you can safely count on the gratitude of the head. We hope that in the future you will need these tips, and you will be a good specialist in your field. And to the question of how to get along with the authorities, you no longer have to look for an answer.

How to get along with different people in the same family

In physics there is such a law that different polarities attract. But in life it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes when asking young people why they broke up, you hear a rather banal answer - they didn’t get along. That is, it turns out that different people cannot get together and live a full life? It is not always so.

You can get along - although it is difficult

After all, much depends not only on one character of a person. The feelings they feel are one of the main components in a relationship. And if they are sincere, then different characters will complement each other. Therefore, how to get along with different people in the same family is a question only for those who do not want or cannot do this. But still, we will reveal its whole essence.

The most important thing is that you should think and understand one truth that there are no similar people in everything. And you are just as different in character, in opinions and interests. Don't make a tragedy out of this. It is already enough that you are together and you feel good together;

Find a common language in everything. To get along with different people in the same family, you should not immediately quarrel over trifles. You do not like that your significant other sits at the computer for a long time, and you need to complete some task or send an important document by mail - just talk about it. Find a way out of this or another situation. Agree who, when and how will use it;

Communication. This is the main thing in the relationship of all people, especially when there is a goal to get along with different people in the same family. The more you communicate, the more you will find common ground. Communicate on completely different topics, because in communication there is a way out of all situations, and you will be diversified;

You can even start making friends. Remember how in childhood you were friends with your peers, what you found in each other's interests and this brought you closer. So it is in this case. Knowing the interests of your partner, you can do what you love together;

You can also do a joint business in order to get along with different people in the same family - cleaning the room, moving furniture, repairing, etc. Believe me - this will help you get closer and feel idyllic in your relationship even more;

Think about the very purpose of your existence. After all, each of us was born in order to do a good deed not only for our loved ones, but also for people completely unfamiliar to you. And you don’t always do it for money, in order to be good for you and those around you.

So - think about it yourself, and you will understand that it is not so difficult to get along with different people in the same family, and even people who are completely different in character can live happily ever after; the laws of life that different people do not get along will seem like a trifle to you.

All people are different, so it can be difficult to find a common language with a stranger. We will show you several ways that will help you find a common language with people.

Speak to the point

Before you start a conversation, think about what exactly you want to say and say it in a calm voice. Try not to talk too much, it's easy to say too much.

Keep your promises

It happens that we promised something and immediately forgot. And the person, most likely, is waiting for the promised, and if he does not receive it, he loses confidence in you. Therefore, either do not promise, or keep your promises without excuses.

Speak kind words

If there is a desire and opportunity, say kind and pleasant words. It can be a compliment, gratitude or praise. It costs you nothing, and the person will be pleased and he will be more predisposed to you.

Respect others and yourself

If a person does not want to communicate with you, respect his right. If a person wants to pour out his soul to you and you do not mind, then this will bring you closer. If you do not want or cannot be a pillow for tears or gossip, then gently explain this to the person. You do not have to please everyone, but you must be respected as a person.

Share the positive

People are drawn to those who are positive, who know how to enjoy life and share their mood with others. Everyone has problems, but everyone has a different attitude to them. Try to go through life easily and people will sympathize with you.

Try not to argue

If you are not sure that you are right, it is better to agree with the dispute. It is better to say that you agree than to argue and then bet. Few people like people who like to argue.

Don't discuss others

Remember once and for all - no one likes gossip. If someone tries to tell you gossip or discuss your boss, it's better to leave or switch your attention to something else.

Don't be afraid of criticism

Criticism is not always meant to hurt. Often people want to draw your attention to some problem in this way. Try to look at criticism as an opportunity to improve.

If you don't know, ask

There is nothing shameful in asking a person with experience or a specialist something that you do not already know. This will only show that you are open to everything new, ready to learn and learn. And this is commendable.

Be sincere

Nothing wins people over to you like your sincerity. Be honest and sincere in your desires and expressions of friendship, in your compliments and your advice. Show genuine interest in the lives of those around you. When people realize that they are not indifferent to you, they begin to reach out to you.

It happens that the people around us annoy us, interfere with life, causing an irresistible desire to teach them about life and good manners. In this article, we will talk about how to learn get along with people, what hinders us in this, and what can help.

In our life, we are surrounded by a huge number of completely different people. All of them are busy with their own affairs, have their own goals and their own ways to achieve them. We are like a small grain of sand in a vast desert of other people's intentions. So it has been and will be all our lives. Everyone is trying to grab a fatter piece, a place closer to the sun, and at the same time, strain as little as possible. In this we are similar to them. It is unlikely that you, dear reader, are an ascetic and a recluse. All of us, people, are united by one thing - we have our own goals and our own needs that we want to satisfy. Without this, satisfaction itself, life is not sweet to us. If our needs are not satisfied, we suffer, get angry, cry, in rare cases we get down to business, but we cannot live in peace, in an unsatisfied state. That's the way we are.

To achieve our goals, we can use all the methods and means available to us. Often, we use other people, sometimes without even realizing it. For example, a child learns well and thus satisfies a bunch of our needs. From this we have something to calmly and boast about, but this is only as long as everything is going well. If suddenly, the child's academic performance goes down, we will be dragged to school because of his hooligan behavior, and at work, discussing the success of the children, we will blush and keep silent. How will we behave then, will we be able to calmly communicate with our child, as if nothing had happened?

What is the reason for the change in behavior, is it not in the child? In my opinion, the reason is our unmet needs. They will determine our behavior, the blame for which is easiest to shift to the child. Based on this principle, build great amount conflicts between people. Instead of understanding what our need has ceased to be satisfied and finding another way to satisfy it, we shift the responsibility to others. We expect some changes from them, considering ourselves a standard that does not need to change anything. We are perfect, let others change. What do you think, and what will others say to this, because their worldview is very similar to ours. Exactly this desire to change others, without changing themselves and their strategies, will lead to conflict between people.

What is needed to change this, thereby reducing conflict and misunderstanding. First, we need to try to see what our needs are not satisfied at the time of the conflict. It makes sense to ask yourself the question: “What do I really want now?” Second, try to imagine that the person with whom you are in conflict does not have the opportunity to change. As if he is not a person at all, but some kind of inanimate object, for example, a tree felled by the wind. You will not yell at a wind-blown tree that lies in your yard, so that it would “be cleaned to hell.” Imagine the absurdity of the situation. After this, you can get into a very interesting hospital, with a very interesting diagnosis. All that remains for you is to take up the matter yourself, find a way to solve the problem and carry it out. The same can be done with people. Start seeing them as something that doesn't change. Then the conflict will lose its meaning. Anyway, you can't change all the people.

Third, imagine that all the people around you are a game board with figures. Take a seat at the gaming table and start moving the pieces with the power of your mind. Only by calculating the moves, you will be able to establish interaction, satisfy your needs and smooth out sharp corners. It is worth thinking about what move needs to be made in order for this figure to go “there” and do “that”, and not something else. It is useless to yell at the figures, they need to be moved. At the same time, if any of the figures does not move, we either change the action plan or change the figure. So, we will learn how to interact with people.

Fourth, the interaction should be beneficial for all participants, then it will be voluntary. You won’t have to force and use anyone, you won’t need manipulations, everyone will have their own interest. Well, where there is interest and a desire to cooperate, it is much easier to establish communication. You just have to think a little more, because it’s more difficult to come up with a scheme in which everyone is happy, and not just you. Although for whom it’s like, see for yourself, it will be more difficult for you, or vice versa easier. An example of a benefit would be homework at school. If you simply force a child to do homework, then he will have little desire, because he does not see why he needs it. Everyone wants from him, everyone needs it, but he doesn’t. This is where the conflict arises. Find out why he needs it and he himself will begin to learn lessons. Try to find your opponent's advantage and show him how to get it. Then the person will willingly interact with you.

By setting up interactions with people around us, we expand the boundaries of our world, saturating it with communication, experience and opportunities. Conflicting with them, we cut the strings of our connections, closing the doors in front of us, making our world smaller and poorer. Remember with whom of those around you you cannot find a common language and answer yourself the questions: “What do I need from him?”, “In what way can I get this?” and “What will be its benefit?”. If you think about these questions and find answers to them, relationships will change. True, this requires desire and effort on your part, while putting pressure and conflict is much easier. Just remember, in order to expand your world and opportunities, improving and enriching your life, you need to spend a huge amount of effort, and you don’t need any skills to lose everything and be left alone. Well, it's up to you to decide where your path leads.

How to get along with people around you - we will give 14 working tips! When you feel that you cannot get along with another person, it becomes much more unpleasant. In our daily relationships, we encounter different people - some are easy to establish contact, others are completely neutral, and the rest are not ready to communicate, and in order to negotiate with them, you need to make an effort.

How to get along with people around you

Below is a list that will help you build a good relationship with anyone in this world. So let's take a look at what needs to be done.

  1. Accept other people's point of view. Try to understand each case the way others see it.
  1. Focus on the specific problem, not the person. To avoid being attacked by others, talk about your idea.
  1. Be clear about what is being said and make sure others understand you. Ask follow-up questions (“do you understand what I mean?”).
  1. Listen more than talk. How to get along with the people around you? Ask questions related to what your interlocutor is talking about.
  1. Be alert to negative non-verbal communication, such as shaking or crossing your arms across your chest.
  1. How to get along with people around you - try to delve into the thinking of a person and feel what he feels.
  1. Before you start talking, ask yourself three questions. It's true? Is it pleasant for the interlocutor to listen to it? You need it?
  1. Rarely make promises, and if you already do, then always keep them.
  1. Give the other person a chance. Believe that everyone is trying to make things better than they know how.
  1. How to get along with other people - stop talking about yourself. Let your achievements speak for themselves.
  1. Words should not be your first reaction. We often regret that we speak first and think later.
  1. Don't take yourself too seriously. Try to laugh at yourself at least once a day.
  1. When someone is unpleasant to you, do not immediately judge him. What you see is basically not what you get. People have different problems, which, as a rule, others have no idea.
  1. Be a trusted person. Truly conducive to


Ask yourself the following questions.

  • Among your acquaintances is there such a person who infuriates you so much that after talking with him you are ready to explode?
  • This person is always rude, speaks such evil, impolite, humiliating words that when you talk to him, your blood boils?
  • Have you ever thought about also behaving as inappropriately towards this person as he is behaving towards you?

I'll tell you a story, but first God obliges me to tell you that although the person in question was my enemy for many years, he is now my close friend. He is so dear to me that I appreciate every moment spent in communication with him. So I can assure you from the very beginning: in most cases, terrible relationships may become a huge blessing if follow what is written in Romans 12:18. That is what I want to talk to you about today.

MY STORY OF DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS

Many years ago, I had regular contact with a pastor who was one of the most rude and disrespectful people I have ever known. This man lived in the same city as me, so it was not possible to avoid meeting him. When I was in the same room with him, I was almost always outraged by what flew off his tongue. He spoke viciously about other pastors and churches in public, targeting everyone me too!

Since he was one of the pastors in our city, I tried very hard to get along with him. But he behaved with me so inappropriately that sympathy for him was out of the question. I didn't like being in his company at all! I have repeatedly asked the Lord to help me forgive his heartless, harsh remarks about me and other pastors and leaders. He and I pastored two of the largest churches in that city, so I was eager to build a relationship with him. But trying to get close to him was like hugging a cactus. He stabbed and wounded me every time I went to approach him.

I tried to convince myself that my internal conflict with this pastor arose on the basis of our different characters. But in this case, it turns out that he did not get along in character with any of the pastors in our city. Most likely, the reason was that he was simply an offender. He knew perfectly well that he offended people, but he liked it and was not going to change. The way he treated me was the same way he treated all the other pastors I knew.

After years of trying to build a relationship with him, I realized that although this man was gifted public doer, he did not have the skills personal communication with people. He was ill-mannered and the problem was him.

What was I to do in such a situation?

He and I were pastors of two of the largest churches in our city, and therefore constantly attended meetings in which we both had to take part. Willy-nilly, I had to regularly be in the company of this man. I could not manage to avoid his company in any way, so I began to ask the Lord to help me understand how to get along, so that I would not be so upset after every meeting with him.

THIS IS WHAT THE LORD TOLD ME

The Holy Spirit prompted me to read Romans 12:18. It says the following:
"If possible on your part, be at peace with all people."

This verse gave me direction and helpful answers to help me successfully deal with this difficult situation. I believe that they will help you understand how to get along with a person who behaves simply outrageously with you.

The apostle Paul begins with the phrase "If it is possible". The word "if" - and in Greek this word ei , suggesting an open question to which there is no definitive answer, means that there may be cases where impossible achieve peace with all people. As we all, I think, are well aware, it is incredibly difficult to be in peace with some people, and not because we are so quarrelsome, but because with them hard to get along. However, be aware that they may think the same about us! But no matter how difficult this task is and no matter how ugly the behavior of the people with whom we have to deal, the commandment of God remains unchanged: we must apply all our strength and ability to be at peace with all people.

The word "perhaps" is a translation of the Greek dunaton , and in this verse it conveys the following thought: it's hard but doable. However, the word "if", with which the phrase begins, casts doubt on the possibility of performing this task. Maybe peace will be achieved, maybe not. But if it is still doable, then you need to make every effort to do so. In the light of what has been said, this phrase can be translated as follows: "If it's doable"; "If it's feasible"; or, as our verse says, "If it is possible".

Paul goes on to say: "...for your part, be at peace with all people". The phrase "on your part" is a translation of a Greek phrase which literally means "as far as it depends on you"; she points to you with us and places the responsibility for maintaining peace and good relations with us, and not on an unbearable, in our opinion, person. It means: God expects us to do all we can and do our best to be at peace with all people.

The phrase "be at peace" is a translation of the Greek eireneuo , word forms eirene , which means to live in peace, to find peace, to keep peace. In the context of Romans 12:18, this word conveys the following meaning: “Once you finally find peace, you should do your best to preserve and maintain it”. In other words, instead of exacerbating the problem in the relationship, you need to do everything possible to become peacemaker!

AT PEACE WITH THE WHOLE WORLD?

Notice that Paul said that we should try our best to find peace with all people. "With all people" - in Greek it is panton anthropon. Word pantone means any. And the word anthropon - derived from anthropos, which includes all mankind: all men and women of every race, nationality, language, color and religion, without a single exception. There is no phrase in Greek more comprehensive than panton anthropon. It covers literally the entire human race. But this does not mean that we should agree with all people or condone their behavior; this means that, to the best of our ability and ability, we should be at peace with them.

This command applies to us as well. And it does not say to be at peace only with friends, family, comrades or like-minded people - we are commanded to be at peace with all people, if it is possible on our part. Romans 12:18 can be interpreted as follows:

"If it is at all feasible, then, as far as it is up to you, be at peace with every person, without a single exception."

This verse was of great help to me when I was trying to figure out how to get along with this ill-mannered pastor. From this verse, I understood that Jesus did not expect me to be this person's best friend, He expected me to do my best to achieve peace with him. And since being at peace with him did not mean having long heart-to-heart conversations with him, I decided not to be upset anymore because of this man who had so upset and annoyed me. I had to let go of this situation, give this person into God's hands, no longer reprimand him or try to correct him. So, as far as it depended on me, I was going to do whatever was necessary on my part to be at peace with him.

I know that you too, like everyone else, have to deal with difficult people whose relationships give you trouble. If you are already tired of being upset, annoyed, or trying unsuccessfully to correct these people, then perhaps you should just strive to make peace with them. It's rare to negotiate with difficult people, so sometimes the best option is to just do whatever it takes to be at peace with them. This is what the Holy Spirit told me, and I hope that He is telling you the same thing now.

If you are tired of trying to build an unmanageable relationship with this or that person, and contact with him is inevitable, then ask the Holy Spirit to set your heart on him so that you can be at peace. even with such a person. This difficult person is one of all the people the Holy Spirit commands you to be at peace with. As I said, this does not mean that you have to agree with this person in everything, condone his behavior, or give up your beliefs in order to achieve peace with him. It simply means that you will no longer be in conflict with him.

If you follow this verse, you will become calmer as a result and difficult people will not be able to piss you off, because you will set yourself up to be at peace with all people, no matter what they do or say.

Did my post today help you?

As I sit now writing this article, I pray that God will encourage and strengthen you, answer your prayers and requests, and enrich your life.