It's not just your life that has had so much negativity. Most people have terrible memories that need to be released for a second and they will gobble them up. Therefore, let's talk about how to forget bad memories. By the way, if you can do it, your psychological state will change for the better, which means that the present will become a little better.

Is a psychotherapist needed?

Sometimes they just sit and say yes, shaking their heads. The same thing happens when communicating with friends: a friend sits and agrees, it all comes down to grinding a terrible past and tearing old wounds. So, we do not need such a psychotherapist. But a more sensible one is quite suitable, but only on the condition that you will work together.

Both cognitive therapy and body-oriented therapy can help. And here is a rather effective method from a psychotherapist who suggested to the author how to get rid of bad memories (well, or part of them) in a week. We just start a notebook (possibly with an ugly picture) and for a whole week we write down all the bad memories of childhood with youth, as well as maturity.

We are not shy and pour everything. The second option is from Lissy Moussa's simoron: we write down all the muck on small pieces of paper, and everywhere, even at work, even in a trolley bus. Also spend a week on this. And on Saturday we string everything on a thread and wear it on our belt like a tail. There is only one result: both the tail and the notebook must be burned on Sunday evening and the ashes scattered. After walking from that place with a quick step and not looking back.

If this is labor-intensive and unpleasant for you, just shout out and speak out, even to an assenting friend who is ready to grind this negativity for the umpteenth time. The next thing to do is to extract a spoonful of honey from all this and understand what was the use of all this evil. Well, now you can get rid of this rubbish of negative memories.

Forgive

We forgive ourselves and forgive those who have become a source of bad memories. A mature person fully understands that at the time of the wrong act, he probably had no other choice. Like the one who offended him. The only thing you can do here is to forgive. Try to understand what is unacceptable for you (insults, betrayals, humiliation of your neighbor, self-affirmation at someone else's expense, scams) for others may be the norm, because such people were not taught differently and they were not given the same upbringing as you.

And further. If you were once insulted or humiliated, this does not mean that you are bad. Perhaps the person simply asserted himself in this way, or pursued his own goals, upon reaching which you were just something passing.

We take the ball

There is one method on how to forget bad memories, at least for a short time. Forever, this method will not get rid of them, but it will definitely not let them take possession of you. So, as soon as something unpleasant pops up in our memory, we pick up the ball and remember the children's game: I know ten names of boys.

We hit the ball against the wall and remember the five names of the boys. We complicate further. Today you have seen ten beautiful things and done ten good days. It does not cure, but relieves pain.

And in general, active movements and physical activity can work wonders. Four times a week we do yoga or something from the “reasonable body” category. It takes a little time, but it's distracting. Helps in the first time after a flurry of negative emotions.

Getting rid of things

How to get rid of bad memories if everything around “turns on” their button? No way. So, we take out all the things that remind us of betrayed friends in the trash. We also send a photo of the betrayed husband there ... Things should not become a source of negative memories. Much more difficult with phrases and words that provoke.

Inventing an alternate history

In fact, memories can be completely replaced. Moreover, even the most negative memories are sometimes overgrown with unpleasant details that ... did not exist.

So why not replace them with good ones? Or even instead of loneliness, poverty and humiliation from classmates and parents in adolescence, imagine that you were popular, wealthy and loved by your parents.

If, in childhood, a dog attacked you and since then you have been afraid of them, then you can revive in your memory the moment that your older brother or father protected you. And then think about how good it is to be a saved brother or dad. You can also rewrite an unpleasant story from the past and change the course of events so that everything ends happily and joyfully.

Just an exercise

You can lie down on the sofa or sit in the most comfortable chair. The main thing is to be alone and quiet. Watch your breath a little. Try to imagine your memory in some collective way. You don't really need a clear picture - you want something that makes you feel emotions. And now attach the adjustment knobs to this picture: just like on an old TV.

If it's too hard for your imagination, a remote control that can turn off the sound and brightness will do. Now turn this knob or press the button on the remote control. First, we remove the sound to zero. Now, you no longer hear the insults of classmates or the former half. Now we remove the contrast of the memory.

And finally, we remove the brightness. As a result, an unpleasant picture from the past should turn into a silent spot. Do all this as smoothly as possible, slowly destroying memories. You can repeat the exercise when the negative moments again pop up in your memory.

The second option is to place the resulting picture in a room where there are a lot of lamps. And now, slowly but surely, we turn off the lamps one by one: the first, second, tenth ... the image becomes visible worse and worse ... You can also repeat this exercise. Over time, you will realize that the memory no longer hurts so much.

You can also imagine that what hurts you so much is just a dream from the past.

Also, remember that memories are just an imprint from the past. They simply no longer exist, just as there is no past. Were you bullied by kids at school? You can look at the children now passing under your window. Are you afraid? So, there is no past, which means that it is quite possible to get rid of it.

There are enough problems and difficulties in life that we have to face.
decide every day, and there is not always time for joy and
strength. But at the same time, each of us has our own past unsuccessful
or even violent situations that can poison you for years
a life.

If it happened in the past divorce He will definitely play his part.
in new love. If you ever Got fired, you still long
You will be nervous at every complaint from your superiors. If a
had to work hard to earn a living and didn't have enough money, you
not soon decide on an expensive purchase.

The most difficult situations are loss of loved ones, accidents and disasters, serious illnesses and addictions, including loved ones. Here you can not do without the help of a specialist, but many bad memories can be erased from memory on your own.

Method 1. Memory diary

Like it or not, but there are stories that will not be forgotten at all. Due to the fact that a lot of time was spent on them, people dear to us participated in them, and indeed - it was in our life, and she was alone. But you can separate all this from the present and return, as if you were watching a movie, where the hero is similar to you, but a different person.

Set aside a separate time for suffering about the past. You can describe your feelings in a special file or blog and allow yourself any anger, bitterness, tears and sadness. Experiencing this from the heart, you will soon lose interest in old stories, because it's impossible to watch the same movie every day and not get bored.

Method 2. Farewell ritual

On the Maslenitsa holiday, we see off the cold and long winter to meet the joy and freshness of spring. In life, the same cold and inhospitable periods happen, and you can and should say goodbye to them for the sake of the beautiful in the future.

To say goodbye to the bad forever, you need to collect everything that you are terribly tired of- you can do it symbolically by putting in a box photos of your ex-husband, cheap things that you had to wear due to lack of money (even if you are still afraid to buy something decent), employment contracts from an old job and other reminders. Leave all this in a prominent place and visit your old life with the understanding that it is in the past.

Method 3. Event substitution

No, this does not mean that you should deceive yourself and convince yourself that nothing bad happened. But it happens that we remember a difficult story only because it is the most vivid memory. This is really the property of memory. However, only this eerie picture remained of her in reality.

You need another story, just as bright, but positive. To do this, you will have to try, to achieve a difficult goal with a bright result (buy a car, sit down on the twine, make crazy repairs), in general, do something extraordinary for yourself. Does such a person want to remember some old failures there - he already has something to be proud of and something to rejoice in a new life.

Method 4. Stoplights

We return to the old, because we want to replay it again - not to make mistakes, to agree that we did not say, to correct something - in a word, to live the same story again. However, the very attempt to find yourself in a difficult situation again already seems strange.

The problem is that we consider ourselves guilty of those terrible events and cannot realize that and bad things happen to good people. Is it worth going back to them? What is lived is lived, and we behaved as we could at that time. Sometimes it’s enough just to stop yourself in the place where you wanted to suffer the past. Come up with conditional signals for yourself - pinch, spit over your shoulder, say something out loud.

Method 5. Real return

Closing the page and ending the story sometimes helps if allow yourself to go back to where you can't go back. The forbidden fruit is sweet and we are drawn to the bad past, because it is so sad to think that time cannot be reversed.

Make sure the sadness isn't worth it. Call your ex-husband and understand that he is the person you divorced, not the one you fell in love with. Interview former colleagues, and they will immediately tell you that since you were fired, things have only gotten worse. It's good that all this is already in your past.

Method 6. Final Analysis

You must be mentally prepared for this method or use it in combination with some other. Parting with the past essentially happens at the moment when you calmly accept everything that happened to you not as a horror and a nightmare, and even more so not as a cross that you have to bear, but as an event that has explanations and that gave you experience.

Everyone has their own bumps, but in other words, without our past, we wouldn't be who we are, and a bad past doesn't make you worse, but it certainly is. can do better - smarter, more experienced, stronger, kinder and softer, Or, conversely, more stable to protect yourself. Accept and love yourself again- this means living in the present moment and enjoying it without looking back at the bad past.

For many people, the problem of developing memory and skills memorization and assimilation of texts is more relevant than the ability to forget the past and get rid of unnecessary information.

Today you can find a large number of advertisements in newspapers, on television and on the Internet, the headlines and announcements of which are full of promises to improve and restore memory. Anyone today can independently and easily find a lot of useful information about how to develop memory. But after all, for the effective operation of our memory, it is necessary not only the ability to reliably memorize, store and, if necessary, reproduce the necessary information. It is also important to be able to forget it.

In mnemonics (methods and techniques that facilitate memorization), there are special techniques designed for deliberate forgetting. And indeed, why, if there is involuntary and voluntary memorization, can forgetting be only involuntary?

So, the totality of methods and techniques of the ability to forget is called flying technology. The origin of this word originates in Greek mythology. Leta is the river of oblivion located in the underworld of Hades. The souls that arrived in the kingdom of the dead, having tasted the water from this river, received oblivion and no longer remembered their earthly existence. From here came the expression - to sink into oblivion, meaning disappearance without a trace and oblivion.

What is the use of flying technology and its laws of forgetting? In what cases are they needed?

First of all, answering these questions, it should be said that forgetting is not a definitely negative quality of human memory, since the functioning of mnemonic processes without forgetting processes will be inadequate. It would be appropriate to recall the words of the outstanding Soviet psychologist Alexander Romanovich Luria - “ Many are working on how to find ways to remember better? But no one even thinks about the question: how best to forget?»

In this article, we will consider the most effective ways that help a person forget the past, which has a traumatic effect on his psyche, and learn how to forget information that has lost its relevance.

Forgetting methods can be used in at least two cases:

• To suppress unpleasant memories, especially those that have become compulsively repetitive.
• In order to erase unnecessary information from memory, which simply clutters up our brain.

Forgetting Method #1 - Suppression

This flying technique has a psychotherapeutic orientation, with its help you can forget the memories that traumatize the psyche.

Often the memory of unpleasant events does not give people peace, and they begin to fear that these traumatic memories will start to “emerge” again, and the more they are afraid of this, the more these fears are getting stronger. To relieve obsessions (involuntarily intrusive thoughts), you can use an exercise called "burning letter":

• Memories that make you suffer and experience discomfort, describe in detail and transfer them to a piece of paper. Then take this sheet, crumple it and place it in some kind of refractory dish, set it on fire. Watching the paper burn, think about how your experiences are burned, how they crumble and turn into ashes. All negative memories burned away! Throw the ashes out the window and scatter them in the wind!

The meaning of the “burning letter” exercise is that it helps not only to forget information, but to become the master of your memories. A person experiencing discomfort from past events can thus forget them. Of course this forgetting process can be unpleasant, but often it gives the desired effect: a person does not turn on defense mechanisms, does not suppress memories, but on the contrary, by describing these events, he gets rid of the memories associated with them.

Since ancient times, fire has played the role of the first for a human psychotherapist: looking at the flame, a person, in fact, underwent a psychotherapy session, clearing himself of heavy thoughts and relieving the burden of primitive stresses from his shoulders. And if a person has a good imagination, and he is able to vividly imagine that not only paper, but also memories that traumatize his psyche are burning in the fire, then even if he wants, he will not be able to reproduce them.

" TV"Is another exercise often used by psychologists and psychotherapists in their practice to rid the patient of his burdensome memories:

• Try to transfer your negative experiences as vividly as possible on the big TV screen. Remember everything down to the smallest detail. Then take the remote, and mentally turn off the sound, view the "silent movie". Further, in a similar way, deprive the visualization of clarity, contrast, and, finally, brightness. Eventually, the image dims and disappears completely. The main thing is not to rush! To give the process of forgetting more effect, you can mentally unplug the cord from the outlet or throw the TV out the window. If the negative memories are not so tragic (say, just unpleasant), then with the help of this exercise you can translate them into a comedy genre. Imagine these events recorded on a video camera. Mentally reverse the recording, scroll it at high speed, use slow motion, put funny music on the picture, put a comedian in the “film”, etc. If you learn to direct your memories, then it will be easier for you to manage them. Besides, where there is humor, there is no place for neurosis.

These exercises may not help you completely get rid of memories, but they will teach you not to be afraid of them. And this is very important, because by eliminating the fear of negative memories, we eliminate the cause of their involuntary appearance.

Forgetting Method #2 - Deletion

Other forgetting technique is designed to remove unnecessary information from memory that has lost its relevance and clutters up the “archive” of memory. For example, it is possible to release mnemonic matrices from already used information material in order to fill them with new content.

Simplest forgetting method called " summer technical rag».

• For example, we filled the memory matrix with a number of images created from words. Then, focusing on the first cell of the matrix, we take a wet rag and erase the image (figurative group) in it. The first cell remains, we continue to see it clearly, but now it is empty, the place is free and now new associative compositions can be placed on it. Next, we sequentially, cell by cell, go through the entire matrix and erase all the remaining images in a similar way.

It should be noted that this method is not very convenient if the mnemonic matrices are large. After all, it will take a lot of time and effort to consistently erase information from each individual cell. In such cases, it is appropriate to apply the laws of forgetting Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky, a Russian-Soviet journalist and professional mnemonist, who, speaking with intellectual numbers in front of a huge audience, was forced not only to memorize large sequences of numbers, words, incoherent syllables, etc., but also to erase everything it's out of memory before the next view.

• « Worried that the individual sessions would not get mixed up with each other, I mentally erase the board and, as it were, cover it with a film that is completely hopeless and impenetrable. When the session ends, I mentally take it off ... I'm still talking to the audience, and at this time I kind of crush this film with my hands, hearing how it crunches.”- Shereshevsky shared secrets. So he deleted information immediately from the entire field of the mnemonic matrix, and not from each of its individual cells. In the event that such a method did not help to effectively forget the information, Solomon Veniaminovich resorted at first glance to paradoxical ways of forgetting: “ In order to remember, people write down ... It seemed ridiculous to me, and I decided to do it my own way: since they write down, therefore, they do not need to remember. So, if I write it down, I will know that I don’t need to remember it ... And I began to apply this law of forgetting in small things: in any assignments, in surnames, in telephones».

In an effort to remember important information, most people tend to write it down. And the more often we write down what we want to remember, the less we use our memory. This is a direct path to memory atrophy, because without getting enough load, it works less and less. As a result, people come to the sad conclusion that they have a bad memory, although they themselves are often to blame for this.

Try not to use notepads and notebooks, trust your memory, load it so that it can fully work ( memory development exercises), and then it will stop letting you down. Mark something on paper only in case you need to forget it!

The process of mastering the skills of forgetting (as well as memorization) proceeds in accordance with the laws of Hegel's dialectics. At a certain point, the experience of voluntary forgetting leads to a qualitative leap, which makes it possible to forget unnecessary information only at the expense of willpower without the use of special methods of forgetting.

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Many have watched the movie "Always Say Yes", almost everyone has heard the saying: "it is better to do and regret than not to do and regret", but there are things in life that you need to categorically refuse, we will tell about them in this article.

From time to time, all creative people are familiar with the feeling of inner devastation and spiritual burnout. These days the mood becomes bad, new ideas do not come to mind, you don’t want to create and it doesn’t work. Such a state can overtake after a long creative work or as a result of life upheavals and stresses that are not directly related to creativity. Of course, you can give your body a rest, sleep off, eat delicious food, go on vacation and, as a result, restore strength. But how to subsequently regain inspiration and again find yourself in the realm of ideas?

Anyone can experience negative emotions. Everyone has problems, stressful situations, difficult days ... All this pumps out a ton of vital energy from a person, makes him lethargic and tired, doomed and sick. Negativity causes quarrels with loved ones, rude communication with others, curses between people and hatred for the whole world.

A crisis situation is characterized by internal or external events that make the usual pattern of life impossible. As a rule, such changes are accompanied by negative feelings and thoughts, the emergence of a new life status. The crisis period makes it necessary to reconsider life, change priorities and values. This is the time for change.

How to attract love into your life, what needs to be done for this and is it necessary? Firstly, there are no universal recipes, tips or manuals to follow. Secondly, if in this case the word “work” turns out to be appropriate in principle, then work should begin with oneself, changes should be primarily internal.

Everyone had problems associated with a decline in mood, a stressful state, a breakdown in close people over trifles. This must be dealt with, as it can cause discomfort to the human body. After all, physical and mental health are interconnected.

Toilet paper, pasta, canned food, soap are just some of the items that are rapidly disappearing from supermarket shelves in the midst of the coronavirus outbreak. Let's call a spade a spade: it's not buying out of necessity, but buying out of panic. And although this is a completely understandable reaction of people to an uncertain situation, it does not affect the lives of others in the best way.

Many will agree that, from time to time, they are overwhelmed by unwanted thoughts that cannot be rid of. They are so strong that even doing interesting things does not help at all. This is accompanied by negative emotions that add to the painful sensations. Sometimes it seems that it is not possible to defeat such thoughts, but if you consider the problem from different points of view, you can find the right solution.

Everyone has experienced things in their lives that they don't want to remember. Numerous betrayals and disappointments, illnesses and deaths of loved ones, a complete collapse in a career, shame and misunderstanding - all this I want to get out of my head and never remember again.

But our brain is designed in such a way that some especially vivid memories, often of a negative nature, remain and constantly remind of themselves. This can have a bad effect on the present and prevent you from moving forward.

In this case, I want to forget the past forever and start thinking about the future. Interestingly, it is impossible to predict which memories will fade over time, and which ones will torment for a long time.

Consciously forgetting the past

To get rid of unpleasant memories, it is first of all important " don't get hung up" On this. The more we try to forget something, the more we think about it. Therefore, in order to get rid of bad memories, you should simply not think about them.

If events are associated with certain people and places, then it is important to change the place of residence and limit communication with certain people. In other words, it is important to protect yourself from everything that may remind you of the troubles that have happened.

If we are talking about a difficult breakup of lovers, then it is important to hide or throw away all joint photos and gifts. Try not to visit places where spending time together was especially frequent. Do not think that because of this you will have to limit yourself to such things for the rest of your life.

Restrictions are needed only for the first time, while the memories are still reflected by the nagging pain in the chest. Over time, when emotional experiences about this are replaced by indifference, you can safely get hidden things and visit the above public institutions.

When it hurts a lot, we distort memories

How to forget your bad past forever? The answer may be disappointing, but it is impossible. You can completely forget your past life only in the case of amnesia, but this option is unlikely to suit an adequate person. If memories do not let go, it may be worth rethinking them in order to understand what exactly causes resentment and bitterness of disappointment.

But in order not to go deep into a depressive state, it is important to look for positive or neutral moments in these memories, and try to concentrate all possible attention on them. This will allow you to turn unpleasant memories into positive emotions in the future.

Memories are all we have left of the past. Two different people can remember the same event up to the opposite. It all depends on the emotions that a person is experiencing at the time of the incident.

And if you constantly remember certain things, distorting them a little, then over time it will seem that the distorted version was actually real. This feature of our brain should be used if you want a certain event to have a positive character in the future.

Coolness as endurance training

How to forget your negative past forever or turn it into a positive future? To solve this issue, you can try to use composure. That is, mentally go through an exciting situation, but see yourself as a third indifferent person. This is the only way to calmly look at it from the outside and try to reduce the negative aspects that are haunting.

If the experiences are so strong that even mental reflection on the current incident causes unbearable pain, then you can safely praise yourself. Forcing yourself to relive the memories is a very important step towards eliminating negativity.

This is a kind of subconscious training to hone willpower and stamina. Over time, you will get tired of grieving with mental experiences, and the brain will push the exciting situation into the background.

Forget unhappy love

All people are capable of experiencing sincere feelings, and many open up to each other in these feelings. Accordingly, any person at least once in his life experienced a sad feeling of betrayal on the part of those people to whom he opened himself.

How to forget the past and such an unhappy love? If the emotions were not strong, then the person is almost immediately distracted by extraneous things in the form of work, hobbies and entertainment. Some even manage to build new relationships right away.

But what to do when the attachment to the betrayer is so strong that there is no desire to move on?

The following steps to remove the "needle" from the heart are more suitable for the female half of the population, although some men can use them:

• Firstly, for several days you can mope, drown in depression and memories, look at joint photos and pour tears over gifts (girls love to choke toys donated by former boyfriends with bitter hugs - after all, they are not to blame for anything);
• Secondly, when you get tired of crying about your own worthlessness and uselessness, the time will come for especially persistent self-care. Masks, gels, creams, manicures, pedicures, makeup and hairstyles - all this will remind you who is really the victim of the situation and who urgently needs a comforting hug. But in order to find a willing chosen one, it is important to look accordingly.

Bad past won't leave you alone

It happens that in the past such actions were committed that led to catastrophic consequences in the form of a nervous breakdown, loss of friends or the location of loved ones. Things have already been done, and the past cannot be changed. But how to forget significant mistakes from your past, if they are not left alone for many years?

It is important to reconsider the situation and understand your mistakes so as not to make them in the future. Then you need to try to change yourself, if it is important for the location of loved ones and important people. At the same time, one should not forget about one's own psychological state.

It is not uncommon when, as a result of such mistakes and a subconscious change in oneself for the better, self-confidence disappears, and numerous complexes come to replace it.

If in the past there were serious problems in society, then in the future a complex of isolation may remain. This is a common defensive reaction of the body - to protect itself from communication so that there is no risk of repeating the mistake.

Don't beat yourself up too much for what you've done. You need to calmly consider the shortcomings that led to negative consequences and carefully replace them with other traits of behavior. You should not completely refuse to communicate with people, because a person is a social being, and without public relations it will be very difficult.

Summing up

To forget the past, it is important to take the following steps:

• Do not attach special importance to what happened;
• Distort memories in a positive way;
• Calmly mentally relive the situation several times;
• Pay special attention to your own body and desires;
• Find mistakes in your behavior and correct them;
• Don't shut yourself up, but move on!

That's the whole instruction for action. And one last piece of advice. You can't live in the past, because that's how you lose your future. It depends on the steps taken in the present.