Have you ever asked yourself the following questions: What does it really mean to be honest? Do you have to say everything you think to be considered an honest person? Isn't it better to leave some truth unspoken?
To be truly honest is to think, do, say, and feel the same. When you don't act on your thoughts and feelings, you come out dishonest to yourself and/or others.
Being honest does not necessarily mean saying everything we think and feel. However, if we decide to speak or act, our words and actions must always correspond to what we think and feel.
Let's look at the fears that keep us from being honest.
Fear of causing someone's displeasure:
Have you ever been asked your opinion about something you didn't like or thought was ugly? What did you answer? Haven't you acted in the same way as most people who, in order not to cause discontent, find good reasons not to say what they really think?
For fear of displeasing their spouses, people often say that they agree with them. And some force themselves to do everything possible to please, while going so far as to go against their desires.
Fear of the other person's negative reaction, especially anger:
One of the main fears that keeps us from being honest is the fear of a negative reaction from the other person, especially anger. Here are some examples:
- The mother says to the child: I will let you do it, but don't tell the father.
- The child hides his school grades from his parents.
- A wife deceives her husband about the price of her purchases.
- The husband comes up with all sorts of reasons when he comes home late.
- A wife tells her husband that she has been busy all day, when in reality she has been doing nothing but dating a friend.
People who smoke, drink and eat quietly from everyone are also afraid of the reaction of other people.
Fear of not matching the desired image (image):
Strict, rigid people who control themselves are often afraid that they will not live up to the image they support. They are very important judgment or opinion of others about themselves. Such people always try to look and behave in the best possible way.
They tend to lie to themselves. For example, when they say: “I no longer have a dependence on cigarettes,” they are actually controlling themselves and envying someone who has not quit smoking (still smokes).
They also tend to control their weight, nutrition, how they spend time outside the home, what kind of friends they make, how their home looks, anything that others may judge (as imperfect). Moreover, they sometimes tell lies about their children or spouses, if the truth would damage their image as a perfect parent or spouse.
Fear of not being good enough:
The fear of not being good enough is for people who once agreed to do something, made some commitment, and now feel they have to do it, even if it's beyond their capacity. Against their will, they find themselves in a situation that does not correspond to their true desires and feelings. Often these are so-called perfectionists, people who believe that they always do not do enough or that what they did is not good enough.
Fear of appearing ungrateful:
Here are some examples of lies that hide this fear:
Saying, "Thank you, I really like your gift," when in fact it is not.
Invite someone whose company you do not really like, just because they previously invited you.
Visit your parents regularly, although you prefer to see them less frequently.
Choose a profession for yourself so that your parents are happy, although you personally would be better suited to another matter.
Making love to your spouse when you don't feel like it, just because he/she invited you to a restaurant or a movie or gave you a gift.
Feeling that you need to help someone who helped you before, although you have already planned to do something else at this time.
Fear of losing or having little:
People who are afraid that they will not have enough money often deceive the tax office or insurance companies. Some people take a sick leave from a doctor, although in fact they are quite efficient. Or they take time off from work, explaining that they are sick, although they just want to have fun or mess around.
Partners who do not dare to openly admit their feelings to each other are afraid of losing each other. They know that their relationship is superficial, but they prefer to bury their heads in the sand, pretending not to realize it. Some may even seem caring and attentive to their partners, and behind their backs criticize them to anyone who is willing to listen.
These people often say, "I don't care," when in fact what happened or was said made them very upset. In most cases, this behavior is dictated by the fear of losing someone or something.
As you can see, lies hide many fears! When you realize you weren't being honest, try to find the fear that caused your lie. The good thing about lying is that it helps you become aware of your fears that come from one or more of your childhood traumas. The most common traumas are: being rejected, abandoned, humiliated, betrayed, or hurt by injustice.
All of the previously mentioned examples hide one of these injuries. Lies are human protection. People who lie believe that because of their lies, they will not feel the pain of their injuries. Such a belief is false, it only creates the illusion of protection. The wound remains, and the fear only feeds it.
Lying to yourself and others leads to detrimental consequences:
- It creates tension in relationships.
- Lies do not allow us to create our lives according to our needs, thus blocking our creativity.
- If our needs are blocked for a long time, our physical body suffers and, in the end, falls ill. Most often, people who do not tell the truth suffer from diseases of the throat, jaws, teeth, gums, laryngitis and torticollis.
- People whose fears keep them from moving forward often have foot, leg, and sciatic nerve problems.
The severity of the disease is determined by the depth of the wound experienced in childhood, and the degree of fear that you have experienced since. Therefore, it is necessary to make a decision to be honest as soon as possible, even if at first it seems difficult.
Read the following statements carefully. Write yes or no on the answer sheet, depending on whether you agree or disagree with the statement. If you find it difficult to choose an option, then try to imagine the last month of your life. Evaluate what was more over the past month. Don't think too long about the answer. As a rule, the first answer that comes to mind is the correct one.
1. It happens that I laugh at an indecent joke.
2. If they address me politely, then I always answer politely too.
3. I have financial difficulties.
4. I am always pleased when a person I do not like achieves well-deserved success.
5. Sometimes, put off what needed to be done immediately.
6. In the company I behave differently than at home.
7. I am completely free from any prejudice.
8. I don't always tell the truth.
9. When I play with someone, I always want to win.
10. Sometimes I get angry.
11. In my defense, I sometimes invented something.
12. It happens that I lose my temper.
13. As a child, I immediately and without wrangling did everything that was required of me.
14. Sometimes I am annoyed by something.
15. It happens that I laugh at an indecent joke.
16. I used to be late for the appointed time.
17. I like to gossip sometimes.
18. Among those whom I know, there are faces that I really do not like.
19. I do not remember being especially saddened by the failures of a person whom I cannot stand.
20. I happened to be late.
21. I tend to brag sometimes.
22. Sometimes there is no desire to do anything.
23. I sometimes have thoughts about which I am ashamed to tell others.
24. Sometimes I turned out to be the reason for the bad mood of someone around me.
25. It happened that I told a lie.
26. All my habits are positive.
27. If I promised something, I always keep my word no matter what.
28. Sometimes I can brag.
29. As a teenager, I showed interest in taboo topics.
30. I sometimes put off until tomorrow what needs to be done today.
31. I have thoughts that I should be ashamed of.
32. I sometimes argue about things I know too little about.
33. I don't love all my acquaintances.
34. I can say bad things about someone.
Results processing
It is necessary to count the number of “yes” answers to the questions:
1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34
and the number of “no” answers to the questions:
2, 4, 7, 13, 26, 27.
results
0 - 5 points.
Very low score on the Honesty scale. It indicates a pronounced tendency to lie, to embellish oneself. It can also indicate low levels of social intelligence. If this questionnaire was used as part of a battery of methods, then the results on personality questionnaires should be recognized as unreliable.
6 - 13 points.
Low score on the Honesty scale. Indicates a significant tendency to lie. He likes to embellish himself, his behavior. If the questionnaire was used as part of a battery of methods, then the results on personality questionnaires should not necessarily be recognized as unreliable. However, one should take their results quite critically.
14 - 29 points. Normal result. There was no tendency to lie. Maybe occasionally he is inclined to embellish himself, his behavior, but within the normal range.
30 - 34 points. High score on the Honesty scale. Such a high result can be associated not only with high personal honesty, but also with other reasons: deliberate distortion of answers, very wrong self-esteem. This result should be treated with caution.
My head is buzzing... "It's strange, am I not dreaming?" - a lonely thought pulsates, like a mouse driven into a box, it runs from corner to corner, bumping into walls in the dark. The eyelids do not rise - a bad feeling of helplessness. “I’m probably still sleeping…” I’m trying to focus on the sensations, I understand that I’m sitting in an armchair, my chest is tied with some kind of thin rope (wiring?) Something interferes with my fingers. Once again I try to open my eyes, this time it works a little - I'm in a room, some sensors are connected to me, someone with a notebook looks into my eyes with curiosity. "Why with a notepad?" - stupid thought, - "Where am I at all?"
Finally you are awake! We can continue?
"Continue what?? Who are you really??" - thoughts, just thoughts ... in the eyes of bewilderment, a person understanding him answers:
You're in the lab, remember? A polygraph is connected to you, we are conducting tests .. remember? You need to answer yes or no questions and tell the truth, can we continue?
- YES. - breaks out on its own, we can.
I close my eyes, the auditory impulses take shape, become voluminous and visual.
So the question is: “Are you an honest person?”
Blood rushes to my heart, it beats louder and louder, as if I hear it under water ... oh, yes, I am under water! Dark, night-black water. I dive, and my whole being is enveloped in incredible breathtaking tenderness, mixed with longing for freedom, for secret magic, and something terrible seems to me in this impenetrable water surface, something completely alien to this reality and something incredibly dear, warm, honest to me! I emerge ... inhale ... the second ...
I feel a look... you look at me intently, caressing with desire, filling every curve of my body with languid passion, care... How dear I am to you! Could you yourself imagine that something similar will happen to us, that this something will happen to you?
I come out of the water, giving my nakedness to my eyes ... then you come out - powerful, hot, shrouded in the light of your strength, you are a magician! And I know it, I feel it with every cell of my female body. I can't help but feel... I can't help but know...
I go out, dress slowly… you look… I feel HOW you look at me… I don’t turn around… if I turn around, I know that I will give up… but I can’t, not in this life… On the shore, a pale shadow, arms crossed, sits another, completely different from you a man, he seems to like my confusion, he smirks, rises, throws a jacket on my shoulders and leads me away without turning around, feeling your seeing off look on himself and on me ... if he turns around, he lost.
I repeat the question... Are you an honest person?
Summer ... you were crushed by your pain, and I could not pass by. What a creature I was, if I could. But this did not happen, I stayed with you, strongly imprinting my sign on your palm. I was there because you need me. Just like a million times before. How long have we known each other? Eternity? Two eternities? Three? Do you remember this strange dream, you and I are on different sides of the abyss, and between us is a silk bridge, light, the colors of the dawn, connecting our souls? Why did we choose different sides? But not much will change. Nevertheless, fate stubbornly brings us together in each new life, time after time, connecting us with a languid shell of human bodies. In this life you are a man, I am a woman. What an incredible difficulty for our friendship, and yet ... nevertheless, or in spite of - we are together.
Why are you silent? Do you not understand the question? I'm waiting for your answer... Are you an honest person?
The forest... you and I have always been protected by the elements. Revelation and recognition, important for both. A powerful magical amulet... you are near, I feel your shoulders and arms, your light pouring through the skin. I always told you the truth, which scratched all decent foundations. I love you, how can you hide this feeling? I trust you - can anything be more intimate? I wrap myself in your arms over and over again, feeling your heart beat, how your muscles play ... you hug me, you know who we are ... and spreading our wings, we rush to the stars ... can we be honest with the world? Can we tell the truth about us…?!
The tension is easing… I can feel my breathing returning to normal, the sensors are being removed from me.
Congratulations, you passed the test successfully.
I go out into the street without strength ... it is difficult to deceive my heart, it is difficult to explain to the world what he is afraid of ... I am tired, I fight so much and often, for what? To torment our bodies with the tender intimacy of souls, to torment our tongues with the outright ugliness of words. They don't know how to lie. Where I am? There is a painting on the wall, it was you who painted my image, something that only you can see. I hear music, it's you who play it, inspiring me to move on... what would I do if it wasn't for you? Could I be honest with myself…..?
Fair
Fair adj., use Often
Morphology: honest, honest, honestly, honest and honest; more honest;
nar.
honestly, to be fair
1. honest They call a person who always tells the truth, is sincere in communicating with other people. 3. honest they call actions, deeds of a person in which there is no deceit. Honest behavior. |
Be honest, be honest.
4. If you do something like an honest person, then this means that in your behavior you are guided by the rules of honor, protect your own and others' dignity, etc.
He said that, as an honest man, he should get married.
5. Honest methods, ways of doing something means methods and ways in which there is no deceit.
How to earn money honestly.
6. honest words, books, etc. are called words, books, etc., which truthfully, reliably state events, facts, do not hide anything.
I just want to hear from you an honest account of everything that happened. | Thanks for your direct and honest answer.
7. You are talking to someone honestly when you promise him to act without deceit or assure him that your words are true.
An honest word. | Give an honest word to someone. | Take an honest word from someone. | Demand an honest word from someone.
8. If you give something to someone, let someone go on parole, then this means that you believe that this person will not deceive you, do not require a deposit from him or any other guarantees of his honesty.
9. If something hangs, keeps on parole, then this means that this object is not firmly held, fastened, stands.
10. honest called a process, action, phenomenon that comply with the law and do not allow fraud.
Honest income. | Fair Trade. | Fair elections. | Fair game rules. | The President said that Russia is ready for fair competition in the international aviation market.
11. honest what is called is that which is not stained, not defiled by anything reprehensible, something worthy, noble.
Honest family. | Honest name. | Live an honest life.
Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language Dmitriev. D.V. Dmitriev. 2003 .
Synonyms:
Antonyms:
See what "honest" is in other dictionaries:
HONEST, honest, honest; honest, honest, honest. 1. Truthful, direct and conscientious, free from all deceit. Fair man. Honest character. “It is difficult and slowly the honest poor writer died out there.” Nekrasov. “You prepared for the homeland ... ... Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov
Conscientious, truthful, direct, straightforward, blameless, blameless, blameless, incorruptible, conscientious, sincere; honestly, in good conscience. A man of honesty. Aristide. Impeccable service. Wed . See noble, brave, ... ... Synonym dictionary
HONEST, oh, oh; ten, tna, tno, tna and tna. 1. Imbued with sincerity and directness, conscientious. Ch. man. Ch. labor. Act honestly (adv.). Honest intentions. Ch. look. 2. Deserving respect, impeccable. Honest life. Honest name. Ch... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov
fair- honest, short. f. honest, honest (tolerably honest), honest, honest and honest; comp. Art. more honest. Pronounced [honest] ... Dictionary of pronunciation and stress difficulties in modern Russian
fair- absolutely honest impeccably honest infinitely honest deeply honest terribly honest exceptionally honest extremely honest crystal clear extremely honest incredibly honest incredibly honest extremely honest very honest ... Dictionary of Russian Idioms
Introduction
The Forex / Forex market is a highly profitable and high-risk means of making profit from transactions at exchange rates. The tools used in the Forex market largely determine the result of currency trading by Forex market participants who are clients of brokers. Each Forex broker offers its own trading terminal, however, most Forex brokers and traders agree today in their choice of MetaTrader 4 and MetaTrader 5 terminals. options.
Trade discussion
Forex market forecasts, independent opinions of currency market experts - you will find all this in. Forex experience is welcome, but entry and the right to participate in discussions are not prohibited for everyone, including novice traders. Exchange of opinions on currency movements, demonstration of one's own trading, keeping trader's diaries, development of Forex strategies, mutual assistance is the main goal of communication in the Forex trading forum.
Communication with brokers and traders (about brokers)
If you have a negative or positive experience with a Forex broker, share it in a forum dedicated to the quality of brokerage services. You can leave a review about your broker, talking about the advantages or disadvantages of trading through it. The totality of traders' reviews about brokers is a kind of rating of Forex brokers. In this rating, you can see the leaders and outsiders of the Forex trading services market.
Software for traders, trade automation
We invite traders involved in trading automation, creating Forex robots to the section where you can ask any question about MetaTrader trading platforms, publish your best practices, or take ready-made recommendations for trading automation.
Free communication on the ForexMoney Forum
Do you want to relax? Or do you not yet have the necessary qualifications to communicate in the trading sections? Then a Forex forum for. Of course, communication on topics related to the Forex market is not prohibited. Here you will find jokes about traders, cartoons on economic topics and a full-fledged off-top.
Money for communication on the ForexMoney Forum
The ForexMoney forum allows you to get not only the pleasure of communication, but also a significant financial reward thanks to. Funds accrued for messages that develop the forum and arouse the interest of the forum audience can be used in Forex trading with one of the forum partners.
Thank you for choosing our forum as a place of communication!
