How to be less emotional. How to learn to restrain emotions - advice from a psychologist, practical recommendations

Over-emotionality is a quick reaction to feelings such as anger, sadness, and fear when a person does not allow the mind to intervene in a situation. If you are overly emotional, then most likely your connection with your own emotions is not always constructive. But you need to listen to your emotions in a way that will benefit you, not harm.

Steps

Part 1

Change your emotional approach

Practice breathing techniques. Breathing will help you calm down when you feel strong emotions such as rage, endless tears, or deep disappointment. If you feel overwhelmed by emotional tension, pause to focus on your breathing. Breathing techniques can help you manage your emotions more effectively and deal with intense feelings better. You may have noticed that when you experience strong emotions, the feeling of yourself and your own body eludes you. Breathing will help you move back into your own body, to the present moment.

Learn to react differently. If you're trying to deal with unpleasant emotions but find it difficult to distance yourself from the situation, try a different approach. You may not be able to eliminate the emotional experience, but you can deal with it more effectively. For example, if you're trying to deal with anger but still feel angry after you've distanced yourself from the situation, try drawing, coloring, or doing some exercise.

Try to distract yourself with music or a walk. Play with your pet, read a book or work in the garden.

Use a stress diary. During the day, write in a diary about stressors, how you deal with them, how you react to them. Analyze which events you responded well to, and which ones were more difficult for you. Find ways to consistently deal with emotions that will help you quickly move away from them.
- A diary will help you keep track of which methods work well, which situations trigger strong emotional reactions, and how you handle each situation.
Change the situation. If you are constantly disappointed in yourself or your abilities, change your expectations. Perhaps you are a perfectionist and think that if something is not 100% done, then it should not be shared with other people. Especially if you have tight deadlines, there is nothing wrong with adjusting the situation to better manage your own emotions. For example, you might say to yourself, “Even though my project is not 100% perfect, I am proud of it and know that I did a good job.”
- If you tend to have high ideas and expectations, start changing how you achieve them. You can, for example, ask for help from other people or choose a lower, but achievable goal.
Remind yourself that feelings have power but are not always “truth”. Of course, you can feel your feelings, but remember that feeling is not the same as truth. The same goes for thoughts. When you want to react to something, remind yourself that you may not have all the information yet, and thoughts and feelings may change.

Part 3

Communication with others

Ask before judging. You may be jumping to conclusions instead of collecting all the information first. Instead of jumping to conclusions, wait until you have all the information. And while you're gathering information, don't plan your next move if you're in a quarrel. Ask questions and seek to understand the whole situation before judging or exposing yourself emotionally.

If you're angry because your partner is late, don't jump to conclusions about why he might be late. It is better to calmly ask what happened, but without condemnation and accusations.

Do not react to emotional outbursts. If someone reacts very emotionally in a quarrel, you should not respond with such a reaction. Better practice your active listening skills. Reacting to the other person's strong emotions is likely to escalate the situation and do nothing to help resolve the problem.
- For example, if your interlocutor is angry and tries to offend you with verbal attacks, you should not go straight to the defense. It is better to listen to the person, try to understand his thoughts and feelings, ask questions and answer calmly.
Use sentences with "I". When you blame a person, you automatically put them on the defensive, which can lead to conflict. In addition, in this case, your interlocutor will be more inclined to accuse you of something in return. Take responsibility for your own emotions and express them without blaming others. When you take responsibility for your own emotions, you gain control over them.
- Instead of blaming the person by saying, “You didn't show up and let me down again! What an idiot you are!” say, “I felt hurt and abandoned because you didn’t show up this evening. And I didn't understand why you didn't tell me you weren't coming."

Part 4

Establish a positive connection with emotions

Define emotions. It is necessary to know how you feel so that you can respond appropriately to each emotion. Start thinking about what feelings arise in your body when you notice a certain emotion appear. For example, if you are feeling angry, you may notice your breathing quicken, your muscles tighten, or your face turn red. If you are happy, you may notice that a smile has appeared on your face by itself, and a feeling of lightness in your body. Tune in to your body language.
. Practicing mindfulness means that you allow your thoughts and feelings to come and go, you observe them without judgment. If you feel sad, try to ignore judgmental thoughts like “I shouldn’t still be sad about this. What is wrong with me?" Instead, try to be objective by simply saying, “I still have strong emotions about this incident. It is interesting". Practicing mindfulness can be incredibly beneficial for emotional, mental, and physical health. One of the common mindfulness practices is to tune into and observe the senses (touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing). Focus on your breath and see how it calms your senses.
- More information can be found in the article How to Learn Mindfulness Meditation.
Contact a psychotherapist. If you find it difficult to find a positive connection with your emotions or find ways to control them, seek the help of a therapist. Your therapist will help you work through difficult emotions and provide you with an opportunity to release your emotions in a positive and constructive way. If controlling your own emotions seems impossible to you, talk to a therapist to find ways to deal with this problem.
- Find someone you feel comfortable talking to and seeing on a regular basis. The therapist should be someone you can trust and feel comfortable sharing explicit or embarrassing information with. If you feel uncomfortable with your doctor or simply do not feel any connection, it is better to contact another specialist.

Emotions have a lot to do with our interpretation of an event. Emotional reasoning takes place when we assume something is true, and in fact between what we feel, the truth can be very different. There is nothing wrong with noticing and acknowledging our emotions, they also take us away from objective and neutral interpretations of life and can lead us to feelings. It's hard to learn how to control your emotions and not let yourself be affected by others who are emotional around you. If you find yourself overreacting emotionally to life, here are ways to be more rational and in control of your emotions before making a decision:

1. Your emotions as part of your “map”, not “territory”

Our thoughts lead us to feel emotions. When we think positively, we tend to experience positive emotions, and when we think negatively, we tend to experience negative emotions. Remind yourself that your thinking is your interpretation of what is happening. Our "Map" is the filter through which we look at the world. We all have different filters that have been shaped by our upbringing and what we have already learned about the world from our past life situations. This means that there will always be an element of emotional interpretation of the "territory" (reality). Remind yourself that our thoughts and subsequent emotions may not always be an accurate representation of what is really happening and will help you be less emotional.

2. Stop and think before you act

The emotional part of our brain is almost always stronger than our rational part. Rely on your rational brain when you feel emotionally overwhelmed. Not only will this give you time to collect your thoughts, but by anticipating an emotional act, you can save yourself from unforeseen actions.

3. Know where your weaknesses are

Are there specific people or situations that are usually ready to get an emotional response from you? When we know where our weaknesses are, we can be more prepared and aware. Keep regular tabs on your emotional levels on an emotion intensity rating of 1-10. When you get to 7 points on the scale, you need to defuse the emotional reaction in advance. Some strategies you may want to use, including counting down from 100, deep breathing, or even removing yourself from the situation, are temporary. So now all you need to know is your personal triggers.

4. Own emotions

Take responsibility for your actions. We cannot control others, but we can always control ourselves. When we blame others for our emotional reactions, we are giving ourselves the message that we are unable to decide for ourselves. Control by learning to manage your emotions responsibly. Do not put yourself in the place of another person. Remember, the other person has a different set of life experiences, beliefs, upbringing, culture that may not be the same as your own.

5. Learn to practice emotional detachment

You are not your emotions. As mentioned earlier, thoughts lead to emotions. A good tactic is to try to imagine the thoughts of the passengers on the bus. You are a bus driver and just as you put the key in the ignition, your passengers start saying that you shouldn't ride the bus, what a terrible driver you are, that an accident could happen... If you let the passengers annoy you, then they control you, and you are not under your control. Learn to see your thoughts as passengers on the bus. In most cases, emotional detachment involves taking action, not allowing all the thoughts in your head to constantly distract and upset you. Just remember, the emotions of the bus passengers cannot interfere with your work.

6. Take a time out

We all have a state of rest. Over time, if we don't check ourselves in or are ready to take a break, we can end up feeling quite tense and anxious for longer periods of time, and a state of rest. When we start lashing out at others or just sobbing because we've run out of energy, it's a sign that our state of tension is higher than it should be and that we need to take time out. Go for a walk, a change of scenery, or do something relaxing to release the tension in your body.

Be aware of the positive energy coming into your life - that is, the things or people that make you feel good and positive - and don't accept negative energy from those people that ruin your emotions. Ultimately, you should try to keep a balance so that there is always more positive energy in your life than negative. Too much negative energy will lead to stress.

7. Understanding your emotions

Often, when we understand how we react to situations in some way, it can help reduce the impact of that situation on our feelings. Being aware of the causes of your strong and intense emotions will help you make sense of things and feel in control. When you can get to the root of your emotions, it will lead you to a happier life.

We are emotional beings and emotions help us feel alive. Learn to embrace your emotions and understand why they ignite from time to time. When you take time out to rest, practice self-awareness, and make sure you're getting enough positive feelings in your life, you're on the right track to control your emotions, not the other way around.

Many people complain that they cannot collect their "nerves in a box", restrain themselves in order to maintain balance and not ignite a brewing conflict, get rid of feelings of nervousness and anxiety, or "recover themselves" after an emotional upheaval, stress. There are more than enough circumstances in life that provoke a surge of emotions: exams, job interviews, conclusion of important deals, showdown with superiors or a loved one ... But you never know the things in life that can unbalance us. An unbalanced person can explode and say too much, cry, commit an act that he will later regret - and thereby spoil not only the impression of himself, but also close some opportunities for himself.

There are two ways to overcome emotional crises. The first is to contain emotions, not the best, because by suppressing emotions in ourselves, we risk accumulating a critical mass of negativity inside - and a real emotional explosion will occur. Second, learn to control yourself. and control your emotions. This way is more productive.

Look after yourself

It is important to understand for yourself how an emotional breakdown manifests itself in you. One person breaks down into aggression, the second suddenly begins to cry, the third is speechless. You should carefully study your own reactions and build the situation in such a way as to protect yourself in the eyes of others. Therefore, when you feel that your emotions are starting to get out of control, make sure that the consequences of an emotional outburst do not affect your career, do not ruin your public speaking, do not make you feel ashamed or embarrassed in front of witnesses of your weakness.

Deal with fatigue

Control over emotions weakens when a person is tired. You should not accumulate fatigue, fight it. Allow yourself to relax, change the environment, treat yourself to something pleasant. Camping, partying with trusted friends, or shopping for some nice shopping will help shift your energy to positive things and reduce the risk of an emotional breakdown with negative consequences. Physical work helps a lot, just do not forget that physical work should bring pleasure. During a break or vacation, work on strengthening the nervous system. To do this, you may have to do meditation, yoga, sports exercises. Walks will not interfere, during which you can, for example, collect pebbles or take photographs. Don't forget that creativity heals. Think of forgotten hobbies, read a book that you have long put aside for reading. Sit by the water, get rid of obsessive thoughts, listen to the birds singing or just watch in the aquarium.

Breathe deep

If you feel that stress is rolling over you, stop, take a comfortable position, relax, take deep and slow breaths, try to get rid of the rush. No need to be afraid to be late - remember that your peace of mind is the key to efficiency in any work. Analyze your own emotions: try to understand what exactly unsettles you, what is the trigger for emotions. You should not skimp on the time if you want to dedicate it to "putting things in order" inside. Clear thoughts are a guarantee that emotions will not overwhelm you unexpectedly. Favorite music will help bring emotions and thoughts into a state of harmony. You should not listen to something new in critical situations. Familiar calm music will work well, it will relieve stress and return emotions to their usual course.

Don't be afraid to see a psychotherapist

If you manage to control your emotions worse and worse, and the suppression of emotions has a depressing effect on your mood, besides, you are confused and cannot calm down on your own, and adrenaline "flashes" inside plunge you into a state of melancholy or fear - you should think about visiting a psychologist, psychotherapist. A professional in his field will help you understand the intricacies of causes and effects, remember forgotten nervous shocks and difficult impressions in order to experience them consciously and part with them. By the way, a reliable friend or girlfriend can play the role of a psychotherapist. You can, of course, rely on your loved one in these matters, but this is fraught with consequences. Close, loving people are impressionable, and if you “load” such a person, relationships can suffer, and feelings of awkwardness and guilt can push you away from the one who involuntarily became a “vest” for you. However, if there is unconditional trust and spiritual intimacy between you and a loved one, then you can even give vent to tears. By crying, you will free your psyche from unnecessary emotions.

The death of a loved one, divorce, illness or loss of a job is always very painful for us. However, some people cope with such events easily, while others, on the contrary, cannot let go of the situation for a very long time. How should such problems be dealt with? How to learn to deal with crisis and be able to start living from scratch?

Instruction

Optimism is the enemy. A popular myth is that it is naive. Psychologists say that an optimistic attitude to life and to the situation, in particular, can make a person happier, healthier and helps to quickly solve problems. The first thing to say after the initial personal shock is: “I am not afraid of difficulties, I am ready to overcome them.” This is because optimists are always sure that the situation will change for the better, which means they behave accordingly, trying to change the situation on their own.

Move one step forward. Certainly, some situations are so hopeless that it is difficult to deal with them or try to smile in dire circumstances. What to do then? Develop a short-term strategy, but not for five years or even a year. For a week, for three days, for an hour. The death of a loved one can unsettle anyone, even the strongest person. However, having made a plan for tomorrow, you can gradually, in small steps, get out of the crisis, doing business, distracting yourself from heavy thoughts. Of course, it will never lead to resignation, but after a while, one day you will wake up with the realization that you are used to your loss.

Believe. Psychologists believe that a believer is the most to a personal crisis. Faith always gives. And prayer is an inner desire to change something for the better. Faith is something that we cannot fully understand with the mind, it is something that cannot be explained, but it can ease mental turmoil and dispel doubts, which allows life situations to develop more and simply.

Learn to predict the situation and take stock. Hoping is not the same as being blind. Success most often depends on an accurate analysis of the situation, a sober approach to reality. And an adequate attitude to a crisis situation is the right way to overcome it.

Seek support from friends and family. Relatives, neighbors, colleagues can give good advice and provide moral or material support in a crisis situation. Do not be afraid to seek professional help from psychologists and psychiatrists. Sometimes it's the only way to deal with crisis.

Take the necessary action before it's too late. If you were hospitalized in an ambulance with a heart attack at 30, it's probably time to take care of your health. So it's time to quit smoking, sit down and exercise. Try to objectively assess the situation and anticipate dire consequences.

Tip 3: How to deal with aggression between loved ones?

Sometimes between loving people there are outbreaks of aggression. They say that the darlings scold - they only amuse themselves. Indeed, most often violent quarrels are replaced by passionate reconciliations, and life goes on. But it happens that natural love aggression begins to grow, destroying the world of love, which is becoming more and more fragile.

Why does aggression occur between relatives?

It is believed that loving people should experience only positive emotions when communicating, but in practice everything is much more complicated - when communicating with a loved one, you can come across irritation, icy cold, and rage, and, accordingly, claims, anger and resentment . Why do close people who have the most tender and passionate feelings for each other sometimes get angry and behave as if a black cat ran between them, as they say?

It has been observed that close people injure each other much more often than strangers. The stronger the attraction and closeness, the more destructive the passions that sometimes boil in this intimate personal space. Negativity in intimate relationships is inevitable. Accumulating in the form of misunderstandings and resentments, it concentrates into aggression and can flare up with such a scandal that the lovers themselves are at a loss after that: maybe something is wrong with them? Or something happened to the relationship? The myth of "sublime love" collapses as soon as in the dwelling of two loving people there is a ringing of dishes broken "in the hearts".

As a result of such outbreaks, feelings of guilt and resentment appear. It pushes people away from each other. They become a source of painful experiences for each other. The feeling of guilt leads to the fact that you want to hide from a loved one, the feeling of resentment leads to reproaches, thanks to which the negative accumulates and turns into another "pitfall". How to be in such situations? How to avoid escalating tension in a relationship?

Aggression between people is inevitable. It is not worth wasting energy on "not noticing", restraining, hiding it. The spring, in the end, will open - and aggression will receive a new round. It is necessary to understand that aggression is a completely natural thing between people, and to learn how to express dissatisfaction with each other - adequately, without turning irritation into a heavy quarrel that devalues everything positive, good and bright that was in a relationship.

Learn to complain to each other

Do not make "reinforced concrete" conclusions: "This is his true face" or "She was always like that, she just disguised herself." These conclusions do not say anything about a person, except that during a nervous breakdown we simply do not know how to control ourselves.
Eliminate foul language from your vocabulary. Calling names, humiliating the dignity of a loved one, you thereby lower his self-esteem. And a person with low self-esteem will either try to offend you even more painfully, or simply leave his uncomfortable personal space in search of a person more loyal to his shortcomings.
Noticing in yourself irritation, and even hatred, do not be afraid. Find the reason for the negativity. Perhaps for this you will need to take an honest look at the situation and understand that it is not your loved one who is to blame, but yourself. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. How would you behave in his place?
Having found the reason and considering it valid, talk with a loved one, showing maximum goodwill and patience. You may have to repeat your request "don't throw socks" or "don't throw lights in the toilet" more than once. In no case do not break into arrogance: "Am I supposed to repeat the same thing three hundred times?" or "You didn't learn to hear me the first time"? Habits are very difficult to change, and bad habits as well. You will either have to slowly eradicate them, or come to terms with them and not rattle your nerves in vain either to yourself or to a loved one.
Don't hide what's bothering you. Perhaps you have a high level of anxiety, responsibility, or are you overly jealous? These are your problems that you can discuss with your loved one, but in no case is there a reason to vent your own anger on him, to take out psychological problems. Saying aloud what does not allow you to calmly enjoy communication, while the problem has not yet acquired negative emotions, you seem to be confessing. admit your own imperfection, lighten the soul. And the only thing you want is for a loved one to simply reckon with your internal flaw, with a problem that causes mental suffering.
Learn to express your thoughts, discuss situations, armed with positive emotions. Do not neglect the "rose-colored glasses", communicating with a loved one on a sensitive topic. The more benevolence and love you have, the more benevolent your loved one is, the easier he will make concessions, understanding, agreement.
The problem should not look like a complaint. Explain what exactly is bothering you. Argument - specific facts are much more convincing than labels: "You infuriate me", "That you are behaving like a Don Juan" and so on.
Know how to stop in time if you feel that one of you "suffered". Perhaps your loved one is in a difficult state and perceives your request or problem not quite adequately. Then you can use the "white flag", surrender for a while. Do not be afraid to give up and recognize the winner in a loved one - after all, this is “your own”, and the peace between you is much more valuable than a victory won at the cost of psychological trauma or proven rightness, which can become a source of spiritual discomfort for a loved one.

Be kind to each other

Indulgence towards each other is a real recipe for happiness. If a loved one feels that any of his misdeeds will be understood and forgiven, will feel your love, which is manifested regardless of the circumstances, his trust in you will be inexhaustible, and this is worth a lot, because the person you trust does not need to lie, hiding the truth .

After clarifying the relationship, "clean up the garbage" from the experienced emotions. Learn to forgive, even though sometimes it is difficult. The inability to forgive is a serious flaw that poses a danger to any, even the most romantic, ideal relationship. Never remember old grievances, especially those for which you have long been asked for forgiveness. Returning to old grievances, you cross out all the good things that happened after the forgotten reconciliation, devalue the request for forgiveness. What was - then passed, it is stupid to return negative emotions, drawing them from the past.

Remember: there is no relationship without negativity! There are no perfect people who fit perfectly into our expectations, plans and ideas about the "ideal soul mate". Any relationship is an exam for the ability to be a person, even in those situations that we do not like and do not suit us. And if an excess of energy seethes in you, it’s better to arrange a “pillow fight” - this will remove the negativity and introduce an element of a pleasant, trusting game into the relationship.

Tip 5: How to deal with depressed mood during pregnancy

Waiting for the birth of a baby is the most wonderful time in a woman's life. It would seem that it should evoke exceptionally pleasant emotions, but this, unfortunately, is not always the case. Most women in a position are familiar with the state of mental instability. During this period, excessive sensitivity, vulnerability, resentment and tearfulness may appear. Frequent unreasonable mood swings, excessive emotionality, irritability are all signs of depression.

Adaptation

The constant change of mood during the period of bearing a child is associated with ongoing changes in the hormonal background. It is usually more noticeable at the beginning of pregnancy. This is due to the fact that the female body needs to adapt to the ongoing changes. A pregnant woman begins to feel increased fatigue, irritability and drowsiness. Attacks of nausea, constant dizziness, weakness also do not add to a good mood. There is a feeling of helplessness, anxiety, a feeling of misunderstanding on the part of others.

First of all, you need to understand that this is a natural state, and you are not alone in your feelings. The first months of pregnancy are associated not only with physiological, but also with psychological changes. This is due to the fact that a woman begins to get used to her new social role - the role of a mother.

Family relationships during this period may also undergo changes. Pregnancy can give newness to relationships, or, on the contrary, give rise to misunderstanding. It is during this period that a woman wants to feel support from a loved one. But do not forget that it is difficult to understand your condition, give him time to realize himself as a future dad. Gently talk to him about the changes taking place inside you.

Very often, women who are carrying a child are tormented by questions about how her future life will turn out, whether she can become a good mother for her baby. Such torment provokes a feeling of irritation, fatigue and lack of self-confidence. In the middle of pregnancy, when the new condition becomes more or less habitual, depression is much less common.

Fears about the health of the unborn baby are experienced by almost all pregnant women. Most often they are based on the sad experience of others. Against this background, tearfulness, depression and irritability occur. Closer to childbirth, fears associated with the upcoming birth begin to appear.

How to deal with depression

It is very important during pregnancy to have a good rest during the day. It is important to realize that mood swings are a natural process, don't let your depressed mood control you and it will recede.

A sense of humor can easily cope with a bad mood. Try to treat everything more easily and carefree, with a touch of irony.

Start learning different relaxation techniques. It does not matter what it will be - swimming, auto-training or special physical exercises, the main thing is that this activity brings you pleasure. In the absence of contraindications, a relaxing massage of the back and feet is very effective.

Walk outdoors more. Light physical exercises on the street will affect your emotional state very well.

Do whatever you like that makes you feel good. Meet the people you love, do what you have long dreamed of, find yourself a new hobby. Rejoice in all the beautiful manifestations of life.

Be patient and try to "wait out" this difficult time. Think about the long-awaited meeting with the baby ahead. Do not forget that a bad mood is just a temporary phenomenon, and it will soon pass.

Constantly remind yourself that for the normal development of the child, your positive attitude is very important. Do not worry over trifles, try your best to maintain positive emotions in yourself. Enjoy art, classical or other relaxing music more often, spend more time in nature.

Remember that all fears are natural, do not focus your attention on them, do not rush things and enjoy every moment of your life.

It is useful to imagine, but it is better to see yourself from the outside in a moment of anger. The picture is not pleasant! Red face, furrowed brows, flared nostrils and twisted mouth. For girls, the method of looking from the side is especially effective. It is categorically impossible to restrain anger without finding out the causes and without evaluating the consequences. Suppression of negative emotions leads to depression of the psychological state, and then the physical state (load on the heart, gastrointestinal tract, migraine).

The other extreme is spitting out anger with or without reason. This is also not a solution to the problem, excessive negativity will alienate friends and acquaintances, and health will be at risk (heart load, hormone surge, adrenaline surge). Feeling a surge of anger, you need to try to change your internal state. For example, direct energy into physical exercises, walk or run. It is not always possible to run away, at work, for example. In this case, you can clench and unclench your fists several times, take ten deep breaths. Another option is to think about something pleasant, mentally saying it until the feeling of anger is replaced by joy.

You can defeat an attack of anger with the help of a reflex. Surprisingly, if you smile (even with difficulty), then a positive memory will involuntarily come to mind. It is important to remember that control over emotions and the ability to act rationally where you just want to tear and throw is very difficult, but it's worth it. Efforts will not be in vain when the anger recedes, and all vital signs return to normal: heartbeat, pressure, adrenaline level and respiratory rate. At this moment, the improvement in physical condition is most felt. And the thought that this improvement is obtained through the right actions leads to moral satisfaction.

Another important fact that should not be forgotten is the contagiousness of human emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to think about the health of loved ones before oppressing the situation with your cry. When negativity comes crashing down from the side, it is worth reacting not with similar emotions, but with a smile and positive, then the aggressor will have to soften and change anger to mercy.

On this path, it is hard to break loose, to give free rein to feelings and emotions in matters that require a cold mind and practicality. So how do you become less emotional? How not to be led by forebodings, how not to lash out at those close to you over trifles, but how to be able to restrain yourself and show self-control?

It requires tremendous self-discipline and control. This is not an easy task, but once you get into the habit of keeping yourself in control, everything will go much easier. If you feel any strong negative emotions - irritability, anger, and maybe even a desire to burst into tears - try to perform a simple exercise. Imagine that you put everything that happens around you on pause. Then take ten deep breaths. If you still feel the emotional element raging inside, count to ten, and then breathe again several times in a row. In such a simple way, you can pacify the desire to succumb to emotions and destroy everything around.

It is very difficult to deal with irritability in general, especially if you have a temper. But man differs from our smaller brothers in that he knows how to control himself. Many will say that nothing can be kept in oneself, but be that as it may, self-control and the ability to properly behave are a sign of civilization and good education.

But this does not mean that you need to suppress everything in yourself to such an extent that you do not feel anything at all. You can easily keep a face when in society, and when you come home or when you are alone, give yourself the freedom to release tension. If you want to cry - give in to the impulse! I want support and understanding - your friends are ready to help!

Do not feel sorry for yourself and worry in vain - negative emotions like sadness, bad mood and susceptibility to melancholy only harm. In such a state, there is nothing worse than sitting on the couch and mourning: occupy yourself with anything, so long as it attracts at least some activity, both physical and mental. Yes, things may not go smoothly at first - as they say, fall out of your hands - but don't let that fool you!

Of course, the best way to deal with negative emotions, both sadness and aggression, is through sports. Firstly, it will bring great benefits to your health, and secondly, you will be greatly distracted and it is quite possible that you will even forget about what brought you so much discomfort.

If you are more prone to anger and irritability, then the most active sports that require a large return of energy will help - running, swimming, cardio training, exercises with elements of boxing or martial arts. Together with physical energy, you will let out a bad mood, anger, misunderstanding. As soon as the body gets tired, know that you have released all the bad things out, and now is the time to fill your mind with something positive, something that will bring the long-awaited peace.

If you are more prone to sadness and even depression, you will benefit from flexibility training, various stretching complexes, Pilates and, of course, yoga. Yoga in general is an indispensable tool in achieving harmony between the body and consciousness, self-consciousness and the outside world. After all, emotions rage due to misunderstanding with other people, and yoga not only benefits the body, but also helps to achieve wisdom and enlightenment.

You can become less emotional not only by occupying your body, but also by occupying your spirit. Devote more time to quiet activities - go for walks in nature, visit museums and galleries. Also, read good literature. Also, do not underestimate the benefits of classical music, as well as symphonic, instrumental and spiritual. Lofty sounds have a calming effect on many.

Remember: no matter how bad you feel, no matter how much you want to give free rein to your emotions, no matter how unhappy you feel, there is always a person who is worse off than you. Replace destructive emotions with sympathy for people who are less fortunate in life than you, as well as gratitude for all the gifts that fate has brought you.

And if, despite all the efforts (if you really put them in), you still break out once on others - do not reproach yourself. Everyone tends to err. The main thing is to draw the right conclusion and allow this as rarely as possible in the future.

September 22nd, 2016 05:17 am

Depending on various factors, impulsivity can either help a person in life or create completely unnecessary problems. The issue of excessive emotionality is completely solved, although it requires the development of certain habits.

Emotional thinking and emotional reactions are quite in demand in everyday life. They are usually not very accurate and not always adequate to what is happening, but they are almost instantaneous. Yes, they are often exaggerated, even a minor nuisance can be very upsetting. But they operate on the principle of "better safe than sorry". That is their nature.

Of course, everything is good in moderation. And if emotionality becomes a problem, then it is worth taking a series of efforts to reduce the frequency and intensity of emotional reactions.

Step 1. Do not fall into a whirlpool of emotions
In other words, don't screw yourself up. Emotional reactions are much faster than rational ones. This is due to the anatomy of the brain and is a consequence of its evolutionary development. Therefore, it is almost impossible to prevent an emotional reaction.

So, firstly, you don’t need to reproach yourself if, for example, you cursed out of place or behaved not quite reasonably in this or that situation. The associated reputational costs should simply be put up with. And the outburst of emotions that happened must be accepted as a fait accompli.

Secondly, you need to try to extinguish the surging emotions, not allowing them to call themselves. This is not so difficult to do if you make it a habit to try to quickly exhaust any incident.

For example, you are driving a car and some boor cuts you off in a very unsafe way. You are outraged and, perhaps, vilify him with your last words. You are certainly right, but the point is not that, but that this incident must be settled sooner or later. In the vast majority of cases, it's easier to put what happened out of your head as quickly as possible and go about your business as if nothing had happened.

Some situations are difficult to bear. But in the end, they all have to be digested and continue to live as if nothing had happened. And the sooner this happens, the better.

Step 2. The Habit of Rationalizing
If you manage not to fall into the maelstrom of emotional reactions from the very first second, then you have a chance to wait for a more accurate and balanced rational reaction from the neocortex of your brain. Such a rational reaction also does not require any volitional efforts. She just needs to wait. Rational reaction is slow but precise.

I think many people know the feeling when they slashed from the shoulder, did something quickly, and then realized that they had done the wrong thing.

Many reproach themselves, they say, measure seven times - cut one, first think, and then do, etc. In fact, reproaches are useless here: emotions will still be ahead of reason. Figuratively speaking, emotions always make their move first. But they don't have to walk all the time, move should move to rational thinking.

Thus, our task is simply to accustom ourselves in any situation to wait for our second, more balanced rational reaction. Just believe me, the mind is not sitting idle, give it a little time and it will say its word.

Having learned to strive for the speedy exhaustion of situations and getting used to waiting for the voice of reason, any person can easily reduce the overall level of his emotionality. And may we continue to react to trifles for some time. It's OK. Everything passes and this will pass. In fact, peace of mind is not the most difficult goal to achieve if you know how to go towards it.

Portal for the student. Self-training