Blurring resentment with colors Using a variety of paints and colors, you can change your state and get rid of your negative emotions and feelings. For example, in this way you can get rid of feelings of resentment. What is resentment? This is the anger that a long time man

8 Hold a grudge or Forgive True generosity is not a once forgiven offense; it is the principle with which you live every minute of your life. David Ridge A common phrase says: no one is perfect. We know that this is so, and yet we continue to punish ourselves and

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Very often in our life there are situations when we are faced with either outright malice, or rudeness, or barbs and bullying. Life can be poisoned by constant attacks from a colleague or some acquaintance, and sometimes aggressive behavior on the road, in line or in the subway can drive you crazy. And for some of us, those who do not know how to quickly parry, the question arises: “What is the best way to behave: to retire nobly or to hit back with a caustic word?” The main thing is to learn to behave with dignity with the offender - so that he is ashamed and offended, and not you.

So first, where to start is learning to control your emotions. And we can have the following: confusion, depression or aggression. Pull yourself together and say clearly to yourself: “You can’t show your confusion and run into the bushes”, “I can overpower myself and not show depression, “I should not be silent with wet eyes or red ears”, “I will not show my anger and irritation, as if I had really been hurt to the quick, and I will not allow the offender to triumph. It will be easier for you to do this if you represent your opponent in some pathetic or funny way: an evil gnome, a yelping dog. Or put him in an aquarium and imagine that he slaps his lips like a bloated ball fish, and you don’t hear anything, trying in vain.

The second point is to be able to give a worthy rebuff.

If you periodically encounter the problem of “lack of resourcefulness” in the right situation, then prepare a few phrases and arguments in advance: universal and according to the situation. What it means: the former are suitable in any situation and any person, and the latter should be considered in advance if you know in advance that it is likely that your permanent offender will probably go through such and such a topic.

For example, some regular official in our prosperous bureaucracy was rude to you, say: “I see from you that you have problems with women, but I have something to do with it, I just needed a certificate.” Or someone barked in a public place, answer: “You can see that life is difficult for you, but why take your anger out on me.” Of course, this is how you should do it, if you have nothing to lose but your own face, then it’s better to leave victoriously and not spoil your mood with failure.

But if you, coming to work with a new bag, a new haircut, or preparing a new report, are waiting for the next inevitable criticism, prepare in advance. Think over what exactly, at what nuance and in what vein this criticism can be directed, prepare a refutation, evidence and the “point” that will be put after your remark. You can even consult with one of your friends and relatives: how they see this situation, what they would say in your place, how they would parry.

And the third point- when and to whom it is possible to be rude and whether it is necessary to do it at all? Of course, learning bad manners is not the most respectable thing to do. But, unfortunately, in our today's reality there are more and more such subjects, from whose behavior you need to be able to protect yourself. And, alas, often only the same methods of “communication” that they use themselves act on them.

So, for starters, think carefully about whether it is worth saying anything to the offender at all. Sometimes people are aggressive and can reach the point of using physical force, regardless of gender and age. So sometimes it's better to retire quietly and not seek adventure in a familiar place for all of us.

If the “villain” is just an ordinary boor and does not pose a danger, but you don’t want to leave humiliated and offended, then answer him in the same spirit, do not be shy. Just concentrate all your anger, resentment, indignation and pour emotions on him in one fell swoop. Maybe even a couple of capacious words. Indecent? Think about it, did he behave decently when he told you about the same thing? So do not be shy once again, and if the situation allows: a firmer voice, a sterner face and a response “shot”. Believe me, after such an “exit” of negative words, all your negativity will also go away. Sometimes it’s better to let off steam, and not to accumulate resentment and anger inside yourself, not to feel trampled and humiliated all day.

Learn to control yourself, your emotions and find the strength for a worthy and effective rebuff, depending on the situation and those people who are trying to offend you. And you will see - in many ways, life will become easier and calmer. After all, the most important thing is not to transfer your offense to loved ones and innocent people, but to be able to rebuff those who are really to blame for this.

Family relations are, unfortunately, not only mutual understanding and love. These are also quarrels, scandals, resentments, disappointments. In general, everything happens. And what to do? How to teach a husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists will help to understand this situation. After all, it is impossible to let such a situation take its course.

It is, of course, unpleasant for every woman to hear insults addressed to her. Naturally, there is a desire to insult in response or even to permanently stop communicating with this person. The situation is completely different when humiliation and insults come from your own spouse. First, his words hurt much more painfully. After all, he knows perfectly well how and where to “hit” you with a word in order to hurt and hook you more precisely. Secondly, leaving and not returning is much more difficult. You are still bound by the bonds of marriage, children, friends and relatives, common living space, financial dependence. Thinking about what to do in this situation, a woman, as a rule, begins to rush from side to side. But he cannot decide on a certain rational action. This can go on for years. But it's just unbearable. It is necessary to figure out how to teach a husband a lesson for disrespect. The advice of psychologists in this case will be very helpful. First of all, you need to decide not “what to do”, but “what will happen if you do something, but it’s wrong.”

What is the reason?

So, let's act! How to teach a husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists may be different, but all experts, as one, say that it is necessary to identify the essence of what is happening, the reason for such behavior.

In most cases, women believe that the reason lies in themselves. Either they “didn’t manage to do something”, then they “didn’t do it”, then they “didn’t please”. Either they are “bad mothers”, then “bad cooks”, then “unkind wives”. In fact, this is not so at all. These are just reasons for the spouse to find fault and throw out their negativity. The real reason lies in the fact that the husband is sadistic in this pair on purpose. He takes pleasure in humiliating the weak. It is impossible to confuse a sadist with any other person. We are all humans, of course. Everyone can swear and be rude sometimes. However, in the case of a sadist, everything is completely different. His insults are saturated with terrifying filth. In the vocabulary there are expressions designed not just to call a person, but to offend, hurt, humiliate.

The main thing is to act!

As soon as you start thinking about how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect, the advice of psychologists will be your best assistant. In principle, it is impossible to change such a spouse either with the help of persuasion, or with the help of conspiracies, or with the help of coding, or with the help of hypnosis, and, even more so, servility to him will not help. Accordingly, it makes no sense to expect that everything will form and get better by itself. That means you need to take action. You don't need to change your husband. You need to look for protection for yourself and your children.

Fatal mistake

Not every woman thinks about how to teach her husband a lesson for disrespect. The fact is that the representatives of the weaker sex are used to adapting to various situations. To adversity in life as well. In addition, our women, due to the peculiarities of the mentality, are much more patient than anywhere else. It is not surprising that they are so simply and easily ready to accept humiliation and insults from a man, slowly getting used to them. And this, of course, is their fatal mistake.

Insulting and humiliating his wife, throwing nasty things at her, the husband deals a painful blow to her psyche. Even if she endures all this, it will not bring anything good. But the worst thing is that each time these attacks "take a course on the rise." If initially it was a single rude word, then over time there will be a dozen of them. And then there may be blows. As a result, a woman cannot realize herself in life, hobbies, work, feel joy and love. She can only expect the next attacks every day.

hitting the kids

But it is our children who suffer the most from this violence. Unfortunately, among many women there is an opinion that for a child the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-calling and humiliating, even an alcoholic, if only he was. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still a father. Moreover, they are sure of this if the men do not touch the babies. They endure everything for the sake of marriage and financial assistance.

Naturally, this is a huge misconception. For a child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and hurt her, then the baby loses a sense of security. As a result, it gets stressed. And this is fraught with negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others are afraid of death, others start torturing animals.

People rarely associate problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to keep peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson when disrespectful. There are many tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.

Most negative outcome

The most terrible consequences can be expected if your children have a sound vector. The ears of these children are hypersensitive. That is, they generally require quiet sounds and calmness. If the father yells at the mother, and even throws humiliating words, such a child not only loses a sense of security, like other children, he also receives a powerful blow to the most sensitive area. Hearing terrible screams, he can gradually lose touch with the outside world, withdraw into himself. This sometimes even leads to autism or schizophrenia.

In general, a woman, especially if she is a mother, needs to take care of her family. Take the necessary actions that could help in the current situation. In a word, do everything so that the husband respects and appreciates his wife.

Over-attention

So, next step. You figured out the reasons, drew conclusions. Now you need to decide how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. In psychology, there are several ways. The main thing is to correctly identify the task. If you still love your husband, you should not make him suffer. This task consists in the fact that he could realize his guilt, understand what mistake he made and what pain he caused.

Start giving him too much attention. Most likely, it will not be easy at all. However, it's still worth a try. Make compliments, pleasant surprises, arrange romantic dinners. What for? Looking at your efforts, the spouse will be able to understand that he really was wrong, that you are the most that no one will ever take care of him the way you do. Realizing all this, he will begin to suffer remorse, repent in the depths of his soul. And self-flagellation, as you know, is the best punishment. If your spouse only offended you a little, do just that.

inattention

The next way. How to teach a husband a lesson for disrespect? An effective method opposite to the above is inattention on your part. If your husband does not see how you are trying to please him, forgets about important dates, of course, this is very disappointing. However, do not shout and swear. Just be quiet. He will definitely remember everything that he forgot.

Let's say your husband promised to be back for dinner. Without warning, he goes with friends to a cafe or bar. Do the same for him. Let him feel in your place.

Has your spouse stopped thanking you for cooking? Considers fried potatoes ordinary? Stop cooking for him at all. Leave several times without breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Constantly says that you do nothing while sitting at home? Why endure slander? Sit down at the computer or sit in front of the TV. Don't really do anything. Let him know what it's like.

Do you want to teach your husband a lesson because he claims that you are “resting” on maternity leave? Leave it for the whole day with the baby. Well, arrange a day of shopping with your friends or visit the spa. It is unlikely that after that he will be able to say that caring for a child is simple and easy.

In case of betrayal

Probably, in this way one of the most terrible troubles is manifested when a husband does not respect his wife. What to do in this case? Someone cannot forgive a spouse and simply breaks up with him. But many loving women, who cannot imagine without insidious traitors to their lives, are not ready to take this step.

The easiest way is to declare a boycott. Stop washing and ironing his things, cook, help in some way. In general, completely ignore your husband. Communicate with him only in case of emergency. Do not forget only that this method is quite risky. With this attitude, the spouse can simply go to another woman. However, think about it: do you really need such a husband?

One of the most difficult ways to punish the faithful is indifference. Pretend that his betrayal is completely indifferent to you. Surely he expects scandals, screams, tantrums from you. And you will act as if nothing happened. Make fun of the fact of his infidelity from time to time. In this case, remorse will surely begin to torment him. He will ask you for forgiveness and try to justify himself. Any man will go into a state of shock from such a reaction. Thoughts will appear in your head that you have stopped loving him, that you need to somehow atone for your guilt. According to many psychologists, this will serve as an excellent lesson for the future for your spouse.

In case of drunkenness

Another big problem. Why does the husband not respect his wife, bringing her to nervous breakdowns with his daily drinking and partying? Perhaps can not cope with this addiction? Or maybe he doesn’t even try, doing it out of pure selfishness or, even worse, to spite his wife?

What to do? To begin with, take into account absolutely all the consequences that his drunkenness affects. If this happens regularly, ruins your plans, he needs to be taught a good lesson.

It is best to expose the husband in the most impartial form. Show him how stupid he looks when he's drunk. Give free rein to your imagination, choosing a punishment. You can cover his fingernails with bright varnish, and hide the nail polish remover away. Give only when he asks you for forgiveness. You can draw a mustache with a waterproof marker or write an obscene word on your forehead. You can paint your lips. Or you can even cut the clothes in which he came in order to ask in the morning where he was worn.

Results

Let's summarize. How to teach a husband to respect his wife? Just love yourself. And respect yourself. Do not let your spouse be rude to you, offend, change or beat you. But if this happens, first of all, be sure to teach. Perhaps this was the first and only time ... And do not forget to talk frankly with your husband after that. Try to find out what motivated him in this or that situation. Who knows, maybe it will make you look at the situation with different eyes?

More than once we found ourselves in such situations when a person we met on the way could completely kill a good mood with just one phrase, or after a conversation make you feel as if you had swallowed something bitter, nasty, after which there was a lump in your throat. In such situations, even tears can be shed, and even a clear day will turn sharply gray. How not to let yourself be offended, to prevent such situations. In a word, repulse a boor, impudent, or ill-mannered person.

And the whole essence of such situations lies not in the fact that someone once again with a very nice smile said another nasty thing to you, but in the fact that you let him do it, despite the fact that your eloquence and resourcefulness are not knows equals. And so you go without seeing the beautiful world around you and mentally scroll through thousands of answers in your head, and at the same time one is wittier than the other ... A week can pass and you still can’t calm down, no, no, but that unpleasant day again floats in your memory , but already you mentally give a worthy rebuff to the offender. But as they say, after a fight they don’t wave their hands or a spoon is expensive for dinner.

Unfortunately, tactlessness is a frequent occurrence in our lives. She may be of the most innocent origin, but that does not make it any easier for us. After all, you still have to answer tactless questions.

In order to specifically prepare for what and how to answer, in order not to consider yourself either humiliated or a person with a weak character, you need to know the types of tactless people. Here are their examples.

"Simplicity and Holiness"

The most popular type. Such a person, without batting an eyelid, can ask a question of interest to him, without even thinking about the fact that it is not tactful to ask such questions at all. But this naive curiosity can gain momentum so strongly that only you can stop it. And to explain to a person what tactics, or elementary decency, is useless. At best, resentment will flare up on his part, at worst, he will decide that he is being “run over” for no reason. So how, after all, not to let yourself be offended, that is, to withstand a blow in such not very pleasant situations.

Folk wisdom says - "simplicity is worse than theft." You need to use it. If asked a tactless question, give an appropriate answer. For example, the question: “when will you get married”, the answer: “yes, the fortuneteller guessed that this year I will marry a man with a fat wallet, so I’m waiting for him, so I give all the other small individuals a lapel-turn”.

"Ordinary boor, he's a tram"

If you live in a small town, or far from the capital, or in a rural village, you are in luck, this instruction is not for you. But if you are a resident of a metropolis, then be prepared. This can be a creature that is difficult to determine by gender and age, which will push, for example, along a subway car, stepping on everyone’s feet with comments: “Oh, cow, you can’t get through, you can’t drive through” or “We’ve come in large numbers like locusts, there is nowhere for normal people to turn around”, and other "wonderful" statements.

There is an opinion that boors should be spoken to in a boorish language. It's like they get more of what they say. But this advice only works if you know this language thoroughly. And even if everything is so, the conversation can go far, and when the arguments are exhausted, the skirmish will turn into a fight. But the courtesy unknown to the boor can simply discourage him, that is, disarm him. You can politely “react” to one of the nasty statements: “Excuse me, what did you say, repeat, I didn’t hear it.” And smile as sincerely as you can. If the boor does not capitulate completely, then his aggression will decrease.

"Ulcer"

Most likely, everyone has such a girlfriend or at least a friend. And every meeting with her is like a battle. The arsenal of questions-blows with which ulcers usually begin their “warm-up” is something like this: “Well, how are you? Still alone”, “Oh, you’ve become ugly, maybe it hurts?”. And so on and so forth. The whole essence of the ulcer's communication with you is set in such a way as to hurt you, demoralize, offend you at least in some way, and at the same time compensate for your problems. After all, a happy and successful person will not ask such questions, since he has other things to do, views, understanding and logic.