Generally accepted rules of conduct in society. If you respect yourself and those around you, remember these basic rules of etiquette forever! Why Good Manners Are Necessary

Being a cultured person is a whole art. In addition to unconditional politeness, friendly facial expressions and correct speech, the rules of good etiquette also imply a neat appearance, the ability to control one's emotions and act in accordance with generally accepted norms of behavior.

What are they for?

Any attitudes in society, order exist only because someone feels the need for them. The situation is exactly the same with etiquette: it does not complicate life, as it may seem, but makes it easier, makes it more orderly. "Old-fashioned courtesy" prevents a lot of unpleasant conflict situations. In society, etiquette sets clear and unambiguous "rules of the game" that contribute to the convenience and improvement of communication between people.

At first it may seem that it is very difficult to learn all the rules and apply them in a timely manner. However, it is only worth spending some time on it, showing willpower, as you will immediately understand - it is not difficult to fulfill the requirements. In your presence, others will feel freer and lighter, more liberated. At the same time, you do not have to constantly monitor yourself, think before each act or movement, whether this action is correct or not.

Kinds

The interaction of people in society is different, and the variety of norms and rights that apply to it is also great. In order to understand all this diversity, to avoid unnecessary difficulties, people began to form a kind of “codes” (if we draw an analogy with legislation) - certain types of etiquette. First of all, it is worth mentioning the following varieties of modern etiquette:

state (formerly called court) - communication with heads of state;
diplomatic - relating to the behavior of diplomats and persons equated to them;
military - regulates the actions, speech of military personnel and persons equated to them (in various situations);
religious - refers to the behavior of people in communication with clergy associated with any existing religion, with believers in the performance of ceremonies, on religious holidays, in temples and sacred places.

General civil etiquette includes rules and various traditions related to the communication of people in all other situations. However, the general civil code of rules is not as simple as it seems. Although it does not cover situations in which we can talk about political influence, international relations and the like, there is also a division here.

Some generally accepted norms set the standard for business communication, others form the requirements for all other types of communication in general. There are provisions related to the performance of various ceremonies (wedding, funeral and some others), rules when being at a common table, when talking on the phone or communicating via e-mail. General civil etiquette normalizes not only verbal interaction, but also gestures, touches, and to a certain extent even looks and gait.

Before talking about what is possible and impossible in a particular case, you need to find out what the basic requirements for each person are.

generally accepted norms

The basic obligatory norms of etiquette are designed to help a person make a good impression on others. Whether you are a middle-aged housewife, a fast-moving administrator, a sculptor in creative search - everyone should consider them. Any person purchases clothes, focusing on their financial capabilities, but as for the established traditional norms, we can say that they are mandatory for everyone. The following key requirements must be considered:

cleanliness, aesthetics of clothing;
compliance with the wardrobe of your figure and accessories;
the compatibility of the elements of the outfit with each other, their correspondence to the specific situation.

Every piece of clothing that you wear should be kept clean, fastened, and ensure that everything is ironed. The system of etiquette requirements prescribes a strict division between festive, official (working), home, and evening wear. Compliance with the rules of good manners is also unthinkable without the implementation of hygiene procedures, full and proper nutrition, and a healthy lifestyle.

In any training course devoted to the basics of etiquette, sections such as presenting yourself to others, gait, posture, gestures and speech are always named.

Rules of conduct for men

A real man is not only a good professional in his field, a responsible person and a master of his word. There are a number of etiquette rules that strictly regulate how exactly he should act in a certain situation. Even if your acquaintances do not comply with these requirements, you will only benefit yourself if you do not follow their bad example.

Not a single man (except for a policeman on duty and a soldier who is obliged by the charter to salute) can normally walk to the right of a woman, only to the left. Of course, there are circumstances when this rule of etiquette can be violated - but only by learning to observe it, you will understand when you can deviate from the norm. . Stumbled and slipped women need to be supported by the elbow, and no one will see this as going beyond the bounds of decent behavior.

However, only the lady decides whether to take the hand of a representative of the stronger sex.

It is also forbidden to smoke near a woman without express permission. Everyone remembers, of course, that the appropriate behavior is to open the door at the entrance and exit, escorting the woman behind. But this norm, observed on any stairs, changes to the opposite when entering the elevator and when leaving the car. When a man personally drives a car, he is obliged to open the door and hold the women by the elbow when landing forward.

It is not customary to sit down in the presence of standing ladies, including on the bus; an exception is made only for trains and planes. Of course, responsible and adequate men always help their companions to carry heavy, bulky or uncomfortable things. Men's etiquette is also distinguished by such nuances:

you can not put your hands on your chest when talking;
you should not keep them in your pockets;
you can twist any object in your hand only in order to better examine or use it, and not just like that.

Etiquette for women

Do not think that the requirements of etiquette for women are softer or stricter. They are exactly the same in severity, but different in content. Everyone can learn to behave correctly, again - this requires only consistency, determination and self-control. A common mistake is the opinion that today women's norms of behavior are limited to one politeness and correctness in speech. Of course, they are not the same as a hundred or two hundred years ago - and therefore it is impossible to learn the rules of etiquette, focusing on ancient literature.

Bad, "primitive" manners, which are often found in the behavior of modern women and girls, are primarily as follows:

excessive curiosity about other people's secrets;
spreading gossip;
insulting other people and rudeness;
vulgar behavior;
bullying others, manipulating them;
unscrupulous flirting.

Behavior in everyday life should be subordinated not to emotions and passions, but to reason. Yes, for women (and even for many men) it is very difficult. Yes, there are situations when it is extremely difficult not to be rude in response. You should always imagine how your behavior looks from the outside. At the same time, modesty should be remembered - both in the family circle and on the street, in a store, in a restaurant, at an exhibition and in other places.

You can not know the ready-made speech formulas of greeting and address too well, but at the same time have a reputation for being a polite, cultured person. The whole point is to convey your benevolence to the interlocutors, so that every detail emphasizes a positive attitude.

The stereotype that "a real girl is always late" is nothing more than a harmful myth, invented as an excuse for their own indiscipline and disrespect for others. Put him firmly and completely out of your head, do not allow yourself to do this with either acquaintances or strangers.

If you are unable to arrive on time, inform those who may be waiting for you immediately.

It is unacceptable at a party, at work, and in a hotel or official institution to rush to all things, check their cleanliness. In the presence of other people with whom you work together, study together, have a romantic relationship, it is undesirable to make phone calls, write SMS or emails. Even if communication at a particular moment is very important, you should report this and apologize, try not to interfere. It is advisable to explain to the subscriber or interlocutor that at the moment you will not be able to communicate.

Well-bred women and girls, in principle, do not allow themselves to wear clothes even in their own home (when there are no other people there):

dirty;
crumpled;
torn;
does not match the chosen style.

Believe me, if you do not make any exceptions and indulgences for yourself unless absolutely necessary, it will only be easier to follow the usual rules of etiquette. Quite rarely there are cases when a woman can afford not to work. The basic principle of official relations (both with management and with subordinates) should be strict correctness, following the rules of the organization and professional ethics. You should definitely be punctual, keep your word, clearly plan your working day. It is strictly forbidden:

How to teach a child good manners?

Children's spontaneity pleases and touches moms and dads, but from a very early age, the baby needs to be instilled with elementary norms of behavior - of course, this is primarily done by parents, and not by educators and teachers. You can forgive this or that transgression against the norms of etiquette; other people (even classmates or people you happen to meet on the street) may no longer understand him. And it will be easier for the child himself for the rest of his life, no matter how offended he is at first.

The paramount rule, often voiced by people, but not lost its relevance - the need in the family to always treat others politely. If you call children to correctness and even communicate with them in the right way, but be rude on the phone, quarrel with guests or raise your voice once again in the store, such an “educational work” will inevitably fail.

To get a well-mannered and cultured child, you need to demonstrate the rules of behavior during games to the baby from the earliest years. Let you be the standard, and the baby’s favorite toys play one role or another (you greet them, say goodbye, thank them for the gift they brought, and so on). At the same time, such urgent tasks as expanding vocabulary and improving sociability are being solved.

A very important point of education (especially after 5 years) will be the mandatory appeal to all unfamiliar and unfamiliar adults with “you” or by name and patronymic. Avoid interrupting adults and interfering in their conversations. Firmly and steadily remind the children of this, repeating the rule after each violation.

Watch yourself and your manners. Check what kind of children your child (and even teenager) gets acquainted with. This is important both in terms of bad influence on manners, and in the sense that your own peace of mind depends on it.

Always make sure that when your child sneezes:

turned away from other people and from food;
went as far away as possible;
wiped his nose and contaminated objects;
washed his hands after sneezing (before resuming the meal).

Voice communication

In Russia, there are mandatory norms that regulate human speech in various situations. It is far from always possible to confine oneself only to greetings and farewells, and in communication with officials (especially when the situation is solemn or ceremonial) there are unwritten canons. Moreover, they are typical for any organization, department or professional community.

The speech process is regulated by the norms of etiquette in many respects:

lexical (phraseological) - how to address people, how to use set expressions, what words are appropriate or inappropriate in specific cases;
grammatical - the use of the interrogative mood instead of the imperative;
stylistic - correctness, accuracy and richness of speech;
intonation - calmness and smoothness even when irritation and anger overwhelm you;
orthoepic - the rejection of abbreviated forms of words in favor of complete ones (no matter how you hurry and no matter how close you are to a person).

Politeness is also manifested when a person does not interfere in other people's conversations. There is no need to object if you did not listen to the sentence or accusation to the end. The "salon" speech, and in everyday conversation, and even various jargons have their own etiquette formulas.

You need to be careful with who you communicate with. You have to be able to adapt. Polite communication implies that you can’t just say goodbye, even if the conversation has come to an end, and all the planned things have been completed. Some kind of transition is required, it is necessary to correctly lead to parting.

Non-verbal forms of interaction

By itself, this term seems somehow unnecessarily complex and "scientific". However, in reality, people deal with non-verbal communication much more often than it might seem. It is this “language” that is used in communication both with random people you meet and with people you have known for a long time, both at home and outside the walls of your home. Those who correctly understand non-verbal communication receive a triple benefit:

expand the possibilities for expressing their thoughts, they can use gestures as an addition to words;
capture what others really think;
can control themselves and not betray their true thoughts to other observers.

The second two points are of interest not only to various manipulators. It is very important to predict the next action of a person, to understand his real mood and state (it is quite possible that he is trying to carefully hide it).

A lot of information circulates through non-verbal channels. By receiving it, you will be able to understand exactly how the interlocutor relates to others, what relationships are built between the boss and subordinates, and so on. Properly using such a means of communication, one can maintain an optimal relationship, agree or refuse some proposal without saying a word. You can simply reinforce what was said with additional energy.

Non-verbal communication cannot be reduced to gestures. It is also, for example, the emotional component of any conversation (except for those conducted by phone). The main part of such means of communication is innate, but this does not mean that they cannot be controlled in principle. A polite and cultured person, going to another country or before talking with foreigners, always finds out what meaning gestures and other non-verbal signals have, how they can be understood by interlocutors.

Any meeting (even if it does not imply negotiations or other important business) should begin with a greeting. Its importance should not be underestimated, since a show of respect always transcends personal ambitions and difficulties.

Etiquette requires everyone to stand at the moment of greeting, even women; an exception is made only for those who cannot get up for health reasons. Women are greeted earlier than men. Among people of the same sex, they try to give priority to older ones, and then to those with higher status. If you have just entered a room where others are already present, you should greet those already present first, no matter what.

It is important not only to observe the order, but also to properly show your respect. It used to be thought that shaking hands could emphasize a special location, but the modern approach implies otherwise: everyone should shake hands with each other. You can not shake hands for more than three seconds. Very strong or relaxed handshakes can be allowed only with the closest people.

Non-verbal etiquette prescribes to supplement your words with certain actions. Before starting communication, immediately choose a suitable position that will be convenient for you - and at the same time will not cause negative emotions in other people.

It is unacceptable to sit too relaxed and recline in the presence of interlocutors. No matter how much you want to sit back and demonstrate your superiority, feel like the master (or mistress) of the situation, you can’t do that.

Make sure the pose is not closed: this immediately expresses distrust and a willingness to harshly criticize the other person, even if you don’t mean anything like that. It will be extremely difficult to explain the true meaning. Raising the shoulders, lowering the head are perceived as signals of excessive tension and isolation, incomprehensible fear or fear of defeat. By leaning towards the other person, you show interest in him and in his words. Just don't invade your personal space.

Posture is a very important part of non-verbal communication. A measure is needed here: the back should be straight, and the landing should be correct, but in both cases it is required not to overdo it, so that you are not considered overly proud and arrogant person. Take a close look at yourself in the mirror, or even ask others to rate your mannerisms. If even the slightest unnaturalness, artificiality and posturing is visible, it is better to reduce tension, not to constantly strive for a perfectly straight back.

As for gestures, you must first of all pay attention to those that show friendliness and benevolence. When talking at the table, the hands are held palms up, the hands are left relaxed. By tilting your head slightly to the right or left, you emphasize that you are attentively listening to the other person's speech.

When people get bored with the conversation (or the interlocutor hardly waits for the floor to be given to him), rubbing of the neck and earlobe begins. The sudden shifting of papers, other things means that the person is no longer going to talk - for whatever reason. Those who are about to leave direct their legs or even their entire body towards the exit. A “closed” position or a readiness for a hard rebuff is directly indicated by crossing the arms.

Getting up and starting to walk around the room, scratching their chin or touching their hair, people thereby set themselves up to make a decision, enter the decisive phase when a difficult choice is made. Inexperienced and ill-prepared deceivers rub their noses, fidget nervously in their chairs, and change positions every now and then. It is very difficult to lie without constantly looking away, without narrowing the pupils, without covering your mouth with your hand. If you believe that non-verbal etiquette is associated only with movements, gestures, this is an erroneous opinion. There is another important component: habits.

You can’t drink tea and eat sweets during a business conversation, as this is frankly impolite. A cultured person can afford a maximum glass of water.

You should not approach the interlocutor closer than at arm's length - if only possible. Of course, when you need to get close for business, this rule does not apply. A gross mistake is twirling something in your hands during a conversation, drawing on paper - and so on. This behavior immediately demonstrates:

lack of self-confidence;
weakening attention to the topic under discussion;
disrespect for the interlocutor (who will have to endure such an annoying manner).

Many people smoke these days. If you are one of these people, try to refrain from bad habits during negotiations as much as possible. In extreme cases, you can afford to drag out when the contract has already been concluded, and it remains only to clarify some details and nuances. When talking at a less serious level, you can smoke, but try to blow the smoke up: this shows partners your positive attitude. When the rings or puffs of smoke point downwards, something is suspected.

If in a particular place or specific situation smoking is prohibited, this restriction must be strictly observed. Even when you know that there will be no fine (or it doesn’t matter to you), you can’t do this: this is an open and rude disrespect for the established rules and norms.

It is advisable to always ask permission to smoke when communicating with strangers and in an official setting.

An important point - separate aspects of speech are also part of etiquette:

maintain confidence and firmness in your voice;
speak clearly and separately;
keep the same volume level (not too low and not too high);
one should not rush, but also excessively slow speech can irritate listeners and interlocutors.

Certain traditions of non-verbal etiquette are associated with business, which are wider than those already mentioned. Certain brands of clothing and cars, watches and writing instruments are often used. The head of a successful company is usually fond of sports, is a member of private clubs and associations. These are not just some conventions and emphasizing their importance. Relationships and acquaintances are thus tied up more efficiently, and those that exist are easier to maintain.

It is advisable to choose traditional dress code colors, even if your company is very modern and associated with a high-tech field. Clothing should be calm, traditional, without bright colors and flashy tones. No more than five accessories may be worn, including mobile phones and bags. Under the ban for a business person, too strong a scent of perfume, wearing old, sloppy shoes definitely fall.

Behavior in public places

It doesn't matter if you are a successful businessman, a middle manager or some other field. You will still have to make contact with people in various public places. Such situations may occur rarely and not last too long, but etiquette strictly regulates this side of life. On the street, the norms of decency require:

cleanliness and neatness of clothes and shoes;
lack of bad smell from yourself;
combing hair and wearing appropriate headgear;
crossing the carriageway strictly in the places designated for this.

You must not interfere with other people (by pushing them, blocking the path, or preventing them from walking along the only safe or convenient route). If it suddenly happens that you push someone (even without malicious intent), you will need to apologize. Having received an answer to any question, be sure to thank, even if answering is a professional duty of a person. It is polite behavior when:

do not hunch;
do not wave their arms;
do not keep them in their pockets (unless in extreme cold);
refuse food and drink, smoking on the go;
refuse to throw garbage.

You can go in a row with a maximum of three people. If the sidewalk is crowded, then two - no more. Bags, packages and everything else must be carried so that others, their things do not suffer. The umbrella is held vertically (unless it is folded or unfolded). Acquaintances should be greeted, but if you want to talk to someone, stand away from the road that other people are walking on.

Both on the street and in the park, at a concert, in the circus, the following are banned:

cry;
whistling;
pointing at someone with a finger;
obsessive surveillance of others.

Polite people will help you cross the street, open or hold a tight door, let a disabled person go ahead, avoid crowding traffic or drive too fast - no matter how fast they are. When elderly, passengers with children, disabled people or pregnant women are traveling with you, give them the front and closest seats to the exit in public transport. Do not put bags or packages on the seats, unless the vehicle is almost empty and the floor is dirty.

Signs of bad upbringing are also loud and intrusive conversations in transport, reading newspapers and magazines, attempts to consider what others are reading. If you are sick or there is an epidemic, it is advisable to refuse to visit public places or keep your stay there to a minimum. Modern etiquette implies that if you need to be among people in such a situation, you need to wear a gauze bandage, changing it regularly.

When traveling with children, make sure that they do not make noise, do not get up with their feet on the seats, do not touch others with their hands and feet. At the first request of controllers and conductors, you need to show tickets, pay fines, and give way.

If you are going to travel by rail, prepare all the things that you will use directly on the road. Going through them all the time is not only too tiring and inconvenient, but sometimes impolite - you can create inconvenience for others, damage some object. At the entrance to the compartment, they always say hello, but to introduce yourself or not is already optional. Even with a very long trip and a heart-to-heart conversation, one should not be interested in personal topics and beliefs, the views of fellow travelers.

When the train arrives at the station and before leaving it, it is quite possible to block the approach to the windows. It is not allowed to open or close the window without asking other passengers. Prepare for the exit in advance, ideally you should start packing your things an hour before arriving at the desired station. This is especially true in winter, when all passengers have to wear a lot of things. It is not recommended to do the following:

put your feet on the seats, even your own;
smoking and drinking alcohol;
talking too loudly
make phone calls at night or when other passengers are sleeping;
going to the toilet stall too often unnecessarily;
arbitrarily occupy a seat not indicated on your ticket;
to fill the common table with your food when you do not use it for its intended purpose.

Etiquette also regulates air travel. You can not clearly demonstrate your fear, discuss incidents with aircraft. Any requests (except for the release of the exit from the internal seats) must be addressed to the airline personnel.

People visit administrative institutions much more often than the airport. It also has its own rules of etiquette. Already at the entrance you need to say hello to the watchmen, guards or on duty; prepare a pass or identity document in advance. Questions about the name and purpose of the visit should be answered immediately, calmly and without any impatience.

When a building has a wardrobe, all outer clothing must be left there, even if there are no formal rules. In such cases, you may not be required to do this directly, but you should still be aware of the rules. If there is a secretary or his substitute, you need to talk about appointments and negotiations.

You can not enter the office until the secretary makes sure that you are really expected. Knocking on the door of the administrative office is prohibited in any case. The only exception is when it is provided for by the rules or by the decision of the owners of the premises.

Regardless of whether the decision is favorable for you, you need to remain calm and businesslike. Only rude and uncultured people slam the door as they leave the administrative building. They allow themselves to stand in the corridor where they can interfere with other people.

The hotel is also a public place. It is recommended to book rooms in advance: this is not only more convenient for you, but also easier for employees who will not be faced with the need to urgently look for free places. Be patient when registering, remember that the employees themselves did not come up with the rules and requirements for documents.

Do not interfere with other people who live in the same room or neighboring rooms. Put things in cabinets and bedside tables. Keep things out of sight when not in use.

Present

Etiquette fully regulates everything that relates to gifts: it is obligatory for both giving people and recipients of presents. It should be noted that all gifts (with rare exceptions) are either strictly functional or symbolize some kind of wish or hint. You should not give something inappropriate: give alcohol to someone who does not drink it at all, or use as a gift something hinting at a physical disability, life difficulty or an unpleasant situation. There are also a few rules to keep in mind:

do not give what a person does not need at all;
do not give ugly, damaged or broken things;
do not give something that has already been given to you - even if the person does not know about it;
Don't gift something that you or someone else has used before (other than antiques, art, and other understandable exceptions);
you need to carefully study the tastes and priorities, character and habits, material capabilities of a person.

The latter is especially important, although often overlooked: the unspoken general norm is that the gifts that the recipient will later present to you should be comparable in value and usefulness to your present. Close people, relatives, friends and work colleagues can be observed without any problems.

The needs and preferences of the rest need to be recognized indirectly - better some time before the holiday, a solemn occasion. Then there will be no obsession, and the effect of surprise is provided, and you yourself will have more time to select the appropriate option.

The principle "a book is the best gift" is still relevant today, but you need to take into account the characteristics of the character, the tastes of the person being presented. Carrying children's literature to reputable and respected people is sheer stupidity. Always carefully study the chosen book and its author, compare the information with the interests of the recipients. Always remove the price tag from a gift - if possible. Do not name a price, even indirectly or after a long time - unless it is asked directly.

Giving or sending gifts (except for flowers and cars) always involves packaging. When the gift is handed over in person, the recipients must open and acquaint themselves with the surprise in the presence of the givers. Polite and well-mannered people thank even for a frankly ridiculous or tasteless present.

Try in the future, at any opportunity, to demonstrate that you like the item - or even brought real benefit (of course, here you should be guided by what kind of thing it is, because you can be presented with an ordinary trinket).

How to behave at the table?

The behavior of a person at the table is a very important component of etiquette. It is at this moment that he is often evaluated by potential business partners, representatives of the opposite sex, and many other people. Think about the impression you will make on your co-workers and bosses. The easiest way is for those who, even at home, strictly observe the rules of decency. Here are a few of the main ones:

always put a napkin on your knees (only it can be used to wipe your lips, fingers);
after finishing the meal, put napkins at the plate; if they fall, take others or ask the waiter for new ones;
if you drink wine, pour it only into glasses that you need to hold with three fingers - only by the leg, without touching the bowl;
soup must be scooped from oneself, and not towards oneself, so as not to splatter clothes;
try not to overfill plates, other containers - this is not only ugly, but also makes it difficult to move;

Should a modern, self-confident and beautiful girl adhere to some rules of etiquette? Definitely yes! If a girl lives in society, respects others and expects to receive sympathy, goodwill and respect from others, to achieve some goals, then she not only has to, but is even obliged. What exactly should every young person know?!

What is etiquette

Everyone has heard this unusual word, and in most cases it is associated with a huge amount of cutlery or aristocratic manners. Many consider it a relic, not needed in everyday life.

Indeed, earlier they paid more attention to manners, especially in rich, aristocratic families or houses close to science and art. But even today you need to know and follow the basic rules of etiquette. A lot depends on this.

Etiquette - the rules of conduct that a person in society should be guided by.

One etiquette for all

The rules of behavior dictated by society show how a person is brought up and respects the people around him. From childhood, parents try to give their children a good upbringing. Knowledge of the norms and rules of behavior, their observance will allow the child to feel comfortable in society in the future.

Rules that everyone should know and follow:

Be polite and friendly to those around you.

Do not make noise, do not spit, do not litter in public places.

Men should stand up to greet those who come.

When bringing a companion to the company, it is necessary to introduce him.

At the table, you can’t reach for something through a neighbor’s plate, you need to ask for a serving.

Do not eat on the road or on the street (exception: ice cream or cotton candy in the park).

It is not difficult to remember the rules and norms of etiquette; moreover, a well-mannered person applies most of them daily.

How a well-mannered girl behaves at the table

Eating is one of the physiological needs, but animal instincts should not be shown, especially in society. And even if alone you like to have a snack in front of the TV or stretch your legs for dinner on a nearby chair, sitting with a magazine, then in the company you should limit your weaknesses and remember the rules of etiquette for a girl at the table.

Consider the most "strict" situation - a restaurant:

1. If the trip to the restaurant took place after the phrase "I invite ...", then the person who said it pays. If such an invitation did not follow, and it was a common decision, then everyone pays for his arrival on his own. A man can pay for a woman with her permission.

2. The man takes the menu first, he passes it to the lady and offers to make a choice. A man orders food for two.

3. It is not worth starting a meal until everyone sitting at the table has an order. If those waiting offered not to wait for them, you can take your time to try your dish. This rule is relevant for the first dish, you can proceed to the subsequent ones “without looking back” at others.

4. The basic rules of table etiquette warn everyone: do not rush, champ, put your elbows on the table, wave your fork and talk while chewing!

5. A cotton napkin, which is brought with the cutlery, should be on the visitor's lap.

6. If you decide to try something from a common dish, be sure to use the appliances that were brought along with it. They took it, put it down and immediately returned the common device to its place.

7. Remember that citrus fruits, cake, cookies and bread should be eaten with your hands.

8. Sugar is poured into a mug to taste on its own and stirred with a spoon. After that, the spoon is left on the edge of the saucer.

Away etiquette

Going to visit is often a joyful and useful event. With pleasure we go to visit people who are nice to us and accept us for who we are. But even among friends and relatives, you should not forget about the rules of etiquette at a party. Their observance is a sign of respect for the hosts and other guests.

Seven simple rules:

1. Going to visit without an invitation and a preliminary call is not worth it.

2. Being late is ugly! If you are unable to arrive at the appointed time, call and warn the hosts.

3. The rules of etiquette in society say that if you enter a room where other guests have already gathered, you should say hello first.

4. Even if you have some problems, it is better not to talk about them. Try to have a cheerful, relaxed conversation and “not burden” those around you with your worries.

5. The rules of etiquette at a party tell you what to do when you need to leave before the rest. Be sure to thank the owners, apologize and say goodbye. The rest can not be disturbed and leave quietly, unnoticed.

6. Even if you go to visit for no reason, you should not appear empty-handed, especially if there are children in the house. The rules of etiquette for a girl do not oblige the fair sex to buy a cake or other sweets, but such care and attention will be pleasant to the owners.

7. “Whoever visits in the morning, he acts wisely,” said the domestic Winnie the Pooh. If you are not a bear cub, you should avoid visiting too early and late.

How to behave as a decent girl in society

As you know, society has a strong influence on a person. Being in the company of intelligent, educated, successful people, one does not want to be ignorant. The rules of etiquette for a girl are designed to help a young lady "not fall into the dirt on her face in an honest company." Observing this small code, she will be able to conquer others not only with her appearance, but also with her manners and upbringing.

1. If the greeter said "Good afternoon", you should respond in the same way, and not just say "Good afternoon".

2. If you are leaving or entering a room, hold the door for the next person behind you.

3. Be kind, polite and reserved.

4. Do not reprimand either children or adults.

5. If you go to the cinema, theater or concert, then you need to make your way to your seat facing the people sitting. The man goes first, followed by the lady. Don't forget to turn off your mobile phone.

6. Indoors, a girl can stay in a hat and gloves, but she must take off her hat and mittens.

7. It is impossible to speak loudly, laugh, discuss and swear: the rules of etiquette in society forbid this to absolutely everyone!

Rules of etiquette in clothes

The appearance of a woman depends on her age, fashion, activity and internal state. There are ladies who are very closely followed by the press. For example, stars, royalty or first ladies cannot afford to relax, especially in society. The rules of etiquette for a girl include recommendations for choosing a wardrobe and drawing up your own image so that anyone looks no worse than the duchess:

Definition of the term

Etiquette in modern society is a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations. Etiquette was once taught as a subject in schools. Children were taught this by meticulous tutors. Today this word has lost popularity, meanwhile, it does not bother anyone to learn at least the elementary rules of behavior at the table, in the theater, in society.

There are several main types of such rules.

The ability to present oneself - the rules for the formation of a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, postures, gestures.

Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, thanks, give remarks; farewell rules, politeness, manner of speech.

Table etiquette - manners at the table, serving standards, the ability to eat.

Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, shop, office, etc.

Business etiquette - relationships with colleagues, superiors, good business manners, the ability to conduct business negotiations, etc. -

Etiquette in clothes

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, the mind is manifested in the choice of clothing for the occasion. To make a good impression, it is not enough to be fashionable or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must reckon with them and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to observe the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and fit you, but it is much more important that all the details appearance organically combined with each other, and he himself corresponded to the time, place and situation. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes to work. Each time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, do not forget about your own age, body features. Everything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The exit attire should always be in full readiness. When shaping your wardrobe, remember to include must-have items such as suits, tailored trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home kits.

Good manners in society The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, manners of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms do not move widely in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the stomach is tucked up. You can not lift your head high, but you should not walk with your head down. Equally important are postures and gestures. To make a good impression, you need to act simply and naturally. It is considered bad manners to turn something in your hands, twist your hair around your finger, drum your fingers on the table, stamp your feet to the beat of the music, touch any parts of your body with your hands, pull on someone else's clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules here: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information, both semantic and emotional, is encrypted. It is necessary to know them by heart, to be able to choose the most appropriate for the occasion and pronounce them in the appropriate tone in time. Masterly, correct possession of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When introducing yourself to a company, state your name clearly and distinctly if no one has introduced you. It is not necessary to shake hands if there are a lot of people, however, if you did one handshake, you will have to bypass all those present. Only a woman can give a hand in a glove and only if the glove is thin, and not, for example, a knitted mitten. It happens that a person’s hand is busy or, for example, smeared, if he was caught at work, and he holds it out in order to shake his wrist. This is actually unacceptable. When greeting, the first to greet is the one who is younger. If we are talking about a man and a woman, then the man greets first. If you are greeted with the words "good afternoon", then it is ugly to answer with the word "good", you must answer with the full phrase "good afternoon". Now let's imagine the following picture: a group of men is standing, a familiar (or unfamiliar) lady approaches them or (passes by). Who should greet first, men or women? The person who approaches is the first to say the words of greeting, regardless of whether it is one person or a group, a man or a woman. The one or those who are in place respond to the greeting.

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not be very delicate when you say “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it’s completely unacceptable to say hello to the boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men must accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting with a lady, a gallant gentleman kisses her hand, while he should not pull her towards him, but should bend as far as the woman gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the second is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing anyone, state the first and last name. And addressing by patronymic, for example, Ivanovna, is permissible only in the village, but not in secular society.

3. Requests The word "please" is really magical, it must be heard in all requests. Since the request in one way or another burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: “If it’s not difficult for you”, “Is it not difficult for you?” It is also appropriate to say: "Do me a favor, be kind, could you," etc.

4. Farewell Before you say goodbye, you should prepare the interlocutor for parting: "It's late", "Unfortunately, I have to go." It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, such as "I'm glad we met." The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without delay. In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural, sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but it is here that one must especially observe the measure. No need to try to deliberately embellish the process of eating, for example, eat in very small pieces, set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, not to talk with your mouth full, to chew food thoroughly before putting another portion in your mouth. Never drink until you have swallowed the food, unless you have taken hot food in your mouth unexpectedly. If you see that the food is hot, do not blow on it before you start eating. Try to eat and drink absolutely silently. In society, bread is eaten not by biting off the whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it. Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, is supposed to be taken with the end of a clean knife, after pouring it on the edge of your plate. Ketchup or mustard as a condiment is offered only in the most casual atmosphere. When eating, try not to stain your plate as much as possible, do not stir or smear food on it. Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, then you can take the fork with your right hand. If you want to drink or take a break from eating, then you need to leave the fork and knife in a crosswise or "house" position. The spoon is always taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, the spoon is left there after eating, not laid out on the table. At the end of the meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Having invited a lady to a restaurant (or other similar place), the gentleman takes care of her outerwear, helps to take off her coat, puts it in the wardrobe, keeps the number with him, and does not give it to the lady. (By the way, the same applies to a ticket at the theater, cinema, in transport. Having bought a ticket for a lady, for example, on a bus, a gentleman keeps it until the end of the trip and gives it to the lady only if he does not see her off to the end, but leaves earlier.)

If a table is not booked in advance, then all negotiations with the head waiter are conducted by a man. Having escorted the girl to the table, the man moves a chair for her, after which he takes his place. If the glasses are not filled by the waiter, then this is done by a man, after asking permission. When pouring wine, the bottle is turned so that the drops do not fall on the tablecloth.

If there are several people at the table, then the oldest of the women is poured the wine first. If they drink champagne, then the man pouring it starts with himself, pouring a few drops into his glass, then the oldest lady, then you can just walk in a circle, finishing with your glass.

If you are in a very fashionable restaurant that serves a lot of utensils, for example, there are several forks and knives near the plate, then you start with those that are farthest from the plate. If the purpose of some devices is not clear to you, then there is nothing wrong with asking the waiter.

If there are unfamiliar people at the table, then it is better to talk on general topics and not discuss mutual friends. It is not necessary to finish everything that is on the plate, just as it is not necessary to leave pieces. To show the waiter that the plate can be taken away, put the cutlery on the plate "at five o'clock", that is, approximately where the small hand on the dial is at five o'clock.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

The essence of the rules of behavior in public places can be expressed in one phrase: treat others the way you want them to treat you. In other words, there is no need to do anything that we would not like ourselves.

The behavior of each person should be such that no one feels discomfort from him.

In public places, there are some specific rules of good taste, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, exhibition, vernissage The rules of conduct in these "temples" of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk quietly through the halls, speak in a hushed tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not get too close to the paintings and exhibits, so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theatre, philharmonic, concert hall Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Previously, a man had to invite ladies to such public places, today it is considered quite decent if a girl herself invites him to a performance, a concert. And even if it is she who pays for tickets for two. A well-bred man should play the role of a gallant gentleman, courting a lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, undress calmly, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

In the theater hall, if the seats are in the middle of the row, you need to sit down in advance, without waiting for the last signal, so as not to disturb other spectators. If you have to disturb those sitting, you must apologize. The disturbed person does not make a displeased face and does not wait until he is asked permission to pass, but he himself gets up in advance, noticing those walking along the narrow passage. The polite people who stood up should be thanked.

If for any reason you are late, then you must enter the hall quietly and sit silently in the nearest free seat.

3. In court, church, clinic, library Rules of etiquette and good manners in society call for behavior in these places as quiet and inconspicuous as possible. You can not talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Questions and inquiries should be answered politely and in a low voice. In any establishment, it is important to maintain good manners, to be accommodating, tactful and polite. Most importantly, your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

4. In the store

1. Before entering the store, you need to skip those leaving it.

2. If there are elderly people, pregnant women, disabled people nearby, they will enter first.

3. It is strictly forbidden to take animals with you.

4. With a lit cigarette, ice cream is not included in the store.

When visiting a store, men do not take off their hats, but if they linger there longer, talking with the managers or the seller, then it is necessary to take off their hat.

Store service charge thank. If you do not like the offered product, it is advisable to return it with a proper explanation, but without unnecessary comments.

If there is a queue in the store, everyone must comply with it, if a person is educated and knows how to behave in the store. If a disabled person approaches the counter, an old person in poor health, a pregnant woman, a woman with a child, any well-mannered visitor to the store should let such buyers go ahead of him. People will notice your upbringing and culture, they will understand that you know how to behave in the store.

T.V. Mishatkina

Ethics and etiquette

Etiquette is reason for those who do not have it Voltaire

Good manners are more important than virtue O. Wilde

The culture of communication, which determines how we feel in society, how people treat us: they love us or neglect us, is based on the observance of certain rules called etiquette. These rules have been developed by mankind for thousands of years - since the late Middle Ages. They regulate what is permissible and acceptable in a given society or in a given situation, and what is not. Of course, etiquette determines only the forms, the “technique” of communication, therefore, knowing the rules of etiquette in itself is not enough to be considered a cultured, well-mannered person. Behavior in society should be based on the general principles and norms of morality, demonstrating the connection between ethics and etiquette. Every issue related to etiquette must be dealt with in the light of ethical standards. Our manners are a reflection of our ethical ideas. Politeness and attention to people, sympathy and the ability to understand another person - these high ethical qualities that underlie moral behavior are reflected in simple norms of etiquette.

What is etiquette?

There are many definitions of etiquette. One of the most common reads: etiquetteis a set of rules of conduct adopted in society.

Sometimes etiquette is defined as:

regulations behavior(behavior - from the "veda" - knowledge);

regulations courtesy(politeness - also from "know", know);

regulations propriety(decency - from the "face", "image", the person's face);

culture actions and manners (“cultural” - in contrast to “natural”, “wild”, means “man-made, organized, ordered”).

Etiquette applies to all areas of life: specific rules prescribe how to maintain hygiene, talk, dress, behave at the table, in a team, in a family, public places, in a theater, on the street, etc. Without respect for the norms of etiquette, interpersonal, cultural, business and even political relations are impossible, because it is impossible to exist without respecting each other, without imposing certain restrictions on one's behavior.

The etiquette contains general human norms of communication, preserved for thousands of years and characteristic of many peoples. Therefore, they are observed (or should be observed) by representatives not only of a particular society, but by all people. For example, simple rules of politeness, greetings, expression of gratitude are inherent in all people without exception.

Of course, various peoples made their own corrections and additions to etiquette, related to the peculiarities of their own culture. Therefore, etiquette also reflects specific national peculiarities communication: traditions, customs, rituals, rituals corresponding to the historical conditions of life of different peoples. So, the celebration of holidays - New Year or Christmas, wedding ceremonies and birthdays are celebrated in different nations in different ways, meeting their moral and aesthetic needs.

In addition, as the living conditions of people change, the growth of education and culture in society, some rules of behavior are replaced by others. What used to be considered indecent becomes generally accepted, and vice versa.

Thus, the requirements of etiquette are historical character, they are not absolute, they relative observance of them depends on the place, time and circumstances. Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under one circumstance may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances. The rules of etiquette are conditional, they seem to be in the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. This convention is explained by the fact that the task of etiquette is to offer people such forms - stereotypes of behavior that can facilitate communication and understanding between them. Therefore, etiquette can be considered as a special form of manifestation of moral culture, because good manners are external reflection internal human culture, his moral qualities.

True, there are exceptions. So, high inner spirituality, kindness and decency of a poorly educated simple person may not be manifested in his manners - because of ignorance of the rules of etiquette. And vice versa: the refined manners of a courteous dude and womanizer are not yet evidence of his moral culture.

In addition, all types of their communication: speech addressed to elders, peers, younger at a meeting and parting; manner of moving, eating, wearing clothes and jewelry, celebrating sad and joyful events, receiving guests - a person tries to give not only moral, but also aesthetic character. It is no coincidence that we say: "beautiful manners, beautiful behavior, beautiful gestures, postures, facial expressions." Therefore, it can be said that the aesthetic form of manifestation of the moral culture of a person accepted in society is calledetiquette.

So, etiquette is a large and important part of human culture, morality and morality, developed over many centuries by the combined efforts of people in accordance with their ideas about goodness, justice, humanity, beauty and order in their own lives.

Every cultured person should not only know and observe the basic norms of etiquette, but also understand their necessity. The ability to behave in society is very important: it facilitates the establishment of contacts, contributes to the achievement of mutual understanding, creates good, stable relationships. Consider the specific rules of human behavior in different situations.

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