Are your thoughts filled with anxiety and disappointment from your own failures? Do you always think that you are not able to cope with the task? Nervous when everything responsibly falls on you? Can't build relationships with people because you consider yourself an unworthy person?

This is not the whole list of really difficult problems that low self-esteem can lead to. At the same time, fear, embarrassment and discontent, as a rule, are only side symptoms of this problem. So the question is how to increase self-esteem is really important. In this article, I will look at the main causes of low self-esteem, as well as suggest effective ways to fix the problem.

First, let's look at how the attitude towards oneself affects life. How many people do you think have a true self-image? Surprise, but there are really very few of them. Cambridge conducted a study in which it was supposed to find out how honest people are with themselves. About 3000 thousand people were studied. The generalized results say that the absolute majority of people have a little high self-esteem and this is good. Why?

The fact is that if a person perceives himself as objectively as possible, he will often be disappointed with all the ensuing consequences. We all have flaws. Some people have more, some have less. The same is true with benefits. As a rule, people subconsciously reduce disadvantages and increase advantages. This state of affairs allows people to maintain a fairly high level of optimism and better communicate with others. At the same time, their view of “their own I”, as a rule, is quite objective.

What can not be said about people with high self-esteem. Narcissism prevents them from normal contact with other people. Feeling their own superiority, such people often neglect others, which also leads to social apathy. Agree, you yourself do not like people who consider themselves too "cool". And this is absolutely normal, since a truly developed person will never underestimate the value of the skill of others.

But people with low self-image have the most negative connotation. This can be compared to a disease that can even lead to the death of a person. You will not be surprised, but people with low self-esteem commit the largest number of suicides. By the way, if you are just such a person, then think about the fact above. That is why advice on how to increase self-esteem is extremely important in today's society.

Here is a list of the main disadvantages of a low self-image:

• Decreased productivity and reduced quality of work. As a result, a decrease in career growth and a high risk of dismissal;
• Deterioration of relationships with loved ones. Negative impact on children and others. High probability of losing friends and loved ones;
• Lack of motivation for . Negative impact on achieving success in life and financial independence;
• Physiological disorders associated with constant stress and negative attitudes;
• Decrease in pleasant moments in life, which can lead to depression;

Even if you do not suffer from this disease, but just want to know how to increase a person's self-esteem think about these factors. They can have a serious, often irreparable impact on life. Therefore, low self-esteem must be dealt with as soon as possible. But in order to better understand the methods of struggle, it is necessary to understand the cause of the occurrence.

Reasons for low self-esteem

In fact, there can be a great many reasons. However, the most common of these is parenting. Some adults devote very little effort to this process, relying only on their own opinion and the experience of their parents. They do not take into account the factor that their parents, and they themselves grew up at a different time than their children, and they need to be brought up taking into account the current level of development of society. This can manifest itself from the banal and ending with highly moral issues.

The child should be brought up in love and understanding, without constant cries and eternal discontent from the parents. The most important thing that parents should teach him is to adequately look at the world and have his own opinion. Unfortunately, these are the most difficult things in parenting. Therefore, parents often break into screams, swearing and other manifestations of strength. So it's no wonder why the current generation often has a whole host of psychological herbs and problems.

“You are not capable of anything”, “You can’t be entrusted with anything”, “Where do your hands only grow from”, “You always look like a pig”, “Just try to argue with me” - these and other typical phrases that can be found almost in every family. However, some children in the course of socialization cope with these problems, but not all. It is this attitude of parents that can form an underestimated self-image.

By the way, for some reason, men come with this reason more often. Perhaps this is a strong influence of the mother. In any case, the tips below will help you understand how to boost a man's self esteem. But women, as a rule, suffer from another problem. As you know, children on a subconscious level adopt the behavior of their parents. Girls are more prone to this, so in adulthood they often show low self-esteem, which their parents suffered from. Of course, this does not mean that everything depends on gender, just a few statistics. The main thing is that parents play a big role in this matter.

Let's move on to the reasons that adults may have. The most common of these is the environment. No wonder they say that friends can tell about a person's character. Those people who surround us involuntarily influence us ourselves, changing our character and preferences. Therefore, if everyone in your environment starts to mope and underestimate themselves, then with a high probability you will also begin to suffer from this, even if you used to be a very cheerful person.

Another reason is some kind of trouble or a series of them. Perhaps the death of a loved one has driven you into despondency and after that for a long time you cannot recover, or perhaps just a few bad days unsettled you and you fixated on this state. It even happens that ordinary little things have a profound effect on the psychological state of a person.

Some drive themselves into a similar state on their own. For example, once surrounded by successful people, a person begins to unwittingly compare himself with them and realizes that he has achieved much less over the same years. As a result, he feels not good enough for their society, self-esteem drops, and he begins to slide downhill. In such cases, the most common question is how to increase self esteem for a woman. I think you can understand why.

Representatives of the beautiful constantly compare themselves with other people, as a result of which low self-esteem is formed. Given that the outside is more important to most women than the inside, this can lead to serious disappointment.

Finally, the most banal reason is that if everyone starts telling you that you are not good enough, then you yourself will believe it. That is why you should always have your head on your shoulders and think as adequately as possible.

Let's finally look at the main tips that will help overcome this problem. It doesn't matter if you or someone you know suffers from low self-esteem. They are effective and can help in one way or another. Try to apply them, compare the effect, discard the ineffective ones and achieve what you want.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Whatever the reason, comparing yourself to other people is unlikely to lead to anything good. All people are different, everyone has their pros and cons, so someone can do something better, someone worse. There will always be a person in the world who is much better than you in any business, so why not focus on yourself. Write down a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Consider why you should care about weaknesses. Find the ones that really matter to you and write down what needs to be done to make them better. Next, work on your strengths. What benefits can they bring to you? Why are you the best in these areas? Etc.

Stop criticizing yourself

Self-criticism, of course, is needed, but it should come in limited quantities and not affect the psychological state in any way. The problem with people with low self-esteem is that they criticize themselves too actively. That is, any failure is accompanied by a flurry of self-criticism. “I am a failure”, “I am not capable of anything”, “I will not succeed”, and so on. Rid yourself of such thoughts, and you will immediately feel a surge of strength. It is better to replace them with something positive and motivating like “I will definitely achieve this result next time. I will do everything I can."

Don't complain about life

Similar to the second tip, but more extensive. Self-criticism is rather an internal process. Do you want to know ways to improve self-esteem. Stop telling everyone about your failures, don't complain about life, don't say how bad everything is. Look for the positive in every situation. Yes, it's not easy, but you can start with the usual little things. Let's say you missed the green light at a traffic light - it means you have an extra minute to think about really important things. You can find another example in my post "".

Don't lie to yourself

To restore self-esteem, you need to restore inner balance. If you often deceive yourself, then the indicator of a positive attitude towards yourself probably weighs in the balance from zero. The best way to do this is to sit down for a couple of minutes and think about where and when you might have been fooling yourself. Maybe you were hiding behind a lie to hide some things that are important to you that you consider bad or lower you in the eyes of other people. Reveal this lie, admit to yourself in deceit. Believe me, the effect will be immediate.

stop making excuses

If other people don't like something, that's their problem. Try to do everything with the highest quality. If after that they find fault with you, then it is not your fault. Always stand by your point of view. Remember, when you make excuses, you not only lower yourself in the eyes of other people, but also become a much less significant person for yourself. The best don't make excuses, they just do what they know and do it well.

Praise yourself and smile

Praise is very important, but you know how people say: "You can't praise yourself...". There is definitely truth in this. Try to notice your progress. For example, I recently realized that I hadn’t done anything seriously over the past year, when my brain immediately reminded me that completely quitting smoking in one day is really an outstanding result, because many people cannot get rid of this addiction for years.

By the way, it is also very easy to lift the mood. Just smile. Yes, for no reason, no reason, just smile. You will immediately feel how your mood began to improve. Try to smile more often, relatives and strangers, doctors and police officers, bosses and colleagues, and soon you will notice that everyone treats you better, and you have gained more self-confidence, and also got rid of negative thoughts.

On this, perhaps, everything. You can also read some self esteem books, like "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". Also, do not forget to ask your questions in the comments and subscribe to updates. Remember that your self-esteem depends only on you. Till!

There are many distinctive qualities that are inherent in self-confident women.

Such representatives of the fair sex cause admiration of men and envy of rivals.

Self-confidence in this case does not mean external beauty, but domestic energy. Some character traits of such women are misunderstood.

For example, most of the fair sex believes that self-confidence is identical with independence, but independence, in turn, implies, but a strong woman can never be alone.

Signs of a woman with high self-esteem and self-confidence:

Causes of low self-esteem

Cause low self-esteem a woman can have numerous factors that relate to childhood, adolescence, life experience and exposure to traumatic situations. Excessive self-criticism and lack of self-love always has a specific reason.

It is imperative to identify this negative factor. Otherwise, it will be extremely difficult to do the work of improving self-esteem.

Possible reasons Low self-esteem in women can be the following factors:

The reason for low self-esteem in girls:

What methods will help in the formation of adequate self-esteem?

A woman can use several methods to increase her self-esteem. The best option is referral to a psychologist.

The specialist will be able to identify the reasons for an overly critical attitude towards himself, draw up an individual program of work on the subconscious and correctly select the necessary methods of influence.

You can try this work on one's own.

How to get rid of low self-esteem? Basic techniques:

• work on yourself and your worldview;
• improvement of personal qualities;
• self-development and knowledge of new areas of life;
• reading psychological literature;
• expanding your horizons and intellect.

Books

If a woman is afraid to turn to a psychologist, then she can find out information about ways to raise self-esteem from special literature. There are many sources devoted to this problem. As a basis, you can take the recommendations of psychologists, which are freely available on the Internet (scientific articles, forums, etc.).

What book to buy? Book examples in psychology:

Having studied the basics, you can develop your own techniques that will help you become a representative of the fair sex, who does not doubt her showiness and is confident in her abilities.

What is the fear of being touched by strangers called? find out right now.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem? Find out from the video:

What can be done at home?

Ways to increase self-confidence at home:

I'm afraid of relationships with men: what should I do? you will find on our website.

training

Women's self-esteem training includes four main directions- developing confidence in communicating with people around, in one's external and internal attractiveness, in being in society and in various types of relationships (love, professional, etc.). The result of the program is achieved through the implementation of certain stages.

Stages of training to increase self-esteem in women:

Courses

Exist many courses helping to cope with various psychological problems. Boosting self-esteem for women is no exception.

Specialists use programs developed by leading psychologists and conduct not only group but also individual classes.

There are such courses in many cities. An analogue of such programs is sign up for a consultation to a psychologist.

How to gain self-confidence? Adviсe:

How to become bold and confident?

audacity considered one of the hallmarks of a woman who is self-confident.

Do not confuse this concept with bitchiness and impudence.

A strong representative of the fair sex is always kind to others.

Arrogance and bitchiness do not imply such qualities. To develop the right audacity in yourself long-term work is needed. A woman who is confident in herself always defends her point of view, but does it tactfully.

Tips from psychologists to improve self-esteem in different situations:

When building self-esteem, it is important to understand that the process of self-development is endless. It is impossible to become an ideal for a certain period of time, but you can significantly improve your personal qualities by changing not only your own attitude towards yourself, but also the opinion of the people around you.

A woman should always engage in self-development. Having achieved some goals, it is necessary to set new tasks.

His betrayal and your self-esteem. What to do? Find out from the video:

Many articles, magazines, books on psychology have been written on how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. But still, many novice entrepreneurs (and not only) are concerned about this issue. Therefore, at the request of our website readers, we decided to write this detailed article about self-esteem without water and in fact. So let's go!

The old misconceptions that in order to be happy you need to:

• believe and obey your parents;
• dance around the fire and worship the gods;
• build communism;
• and so on and in the same spirit (underline as appropriate).

With the development of psychological science, only one thing becomes obvious - only man himself can make himself happy except, of course, for force majeure.

So, from this article you will learn:

1. What is self-esteem and what functions does it have, etc.;
2. How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem - advice from psychologists and experts;
3. How to become self-confident and satisfied with your life;
4. Reasons for low self-esteem, tests, videos, etc.

The article tells how to increase self-esteem, what ways to raise it exist, why people have low self-esteem, etc.

The correctness of self-assessment is a rather complicated thing. This is the one ship's waterline on the high seas, which should not nor rise above, nor go below. Before embarking on a long voyage, it is necessary to understand that nothing will come of it without adequate self-esteem. How does this happen?

The human subconscious builds itself based on many factors. from the first minutes of life.

In order to understand the mechanism of self-esteem formation, it is necessary to understand that:

• one is never alone- he is a herd animal and must be in society (sociopaths are a deviation, a disease);
• every word and deed of others in relation to the individual automatically influences it, forcing one way or another to evaluate oneself;
• for the most part people and builds an opinion about himself, perceiving himself "through the eyes of others", not having the opportunity and desire to analyze their actions on their own and give them a final assessment.

As a result, it turns out that self-esteem – This combined information about all self-assessments of your personality or on the basis of another opinion, which forms your idea of ​​\u200b\u200btheir qualities and shortcomings.

This can also be stated in another way: self-esteem – this is the definition of one's place in the ranking of all people in the world, which is based on one's own and imposed priorities. It looks different for every person.

For example, a blonde who has not read the primer in her life may have high self-esteem, since her society tells her only positive information about her personality, her virtues coincide with those that are in use among her environment and she looks like from her society demands it. That is, it is surrounded on all sides positive and a small share negative she just doesn't notice/ignores.

On the other side maybe yesterday's student engineer, who graduated from the university with an average, got a job and, out of fright, already made a couple of minor mistakes, which were treated quite loyally.

It will seem to him that, compared with more experienced colleagues, he is a nonentity, he will never succeed. Here, mom also says that he is a mediocre son, because he forgot to take out the trash in the morning, dad assures that instead of higher education, he just had to go to the mine, because there “normal money is paid, and you don’t need to think with a stupid head.” To all this is added the standard appearance and the dream of the girls from the TV.

All this a typical example of low self-esteem that is shaped by the environment. The young man himself has nothing to do with it - rather, he simply moves with the flow that forms his environment.

Without changing anything in his life, he is unlikely to achieve anything in it.

If you do not pull yourself together, he will face such problems:

• failures at work due to constant nervous tension and self-flagellation from the series “I won’t succeed, others will do it better”;
• lack of career growth due to fear of responsibility, thoughts similar to “I can’t do it, it’s not for me, I’m not capable of it”;
• constant fear of losing a job, a feeling of fatigue, depression, possibly alcoholism, the desire to escape reality into an illusory comfortable world;
• the impossibility of adequate relationships with girls, since stiffness and complexes will manifest themselves here too, there will be thoughts from the series “she is too beautiful, I don’t earn so much, I’m ugly, I don’t deserve her.”

This is not a complete list of those trouble and life problems that are born from poor self-esteem, the inability to work with it.

At an older age, it may be problems with raising children, communicating with them. There may also be significant troubles with self-realization, the desire to open your own business and all in the same spirit.

The young man mentioned is just an example, everyone has a reason to think badly about themselves - no one is perfect. It is important to adequately assess your personality as a whole and build connections with the outside world from this.

It must also be understood that it is not only money and career.

A person with low self-esteem cannot initially be happy for the following reasons:

• constant fear;
• persistent nervous tension;
• periodic depression;
• aggravated stress when exposed to adverse factors;
• impossibility of self-realization;
• constant stiffness, up to physical movements;
• lack of self-righteousness;
• compliance with the outside world, weakness of character;
• inability to start something new;
• closed, shy speech;
• constant self-digging.

All these are signs that you do not have happy future, because no one will come and change your life by magic.

In order to look confidently into the future, you need to work on yourself and not be afraid to change. Without this, everything will remain in place, and dreams will turn into collapse.

Basic functions of self-assessment

Exist three main functions that make adequate self-assessment so necessary:

• Protective - solid self-esteem will allow you to be confident in what you think and do, it ensures the stability of your opinion about yourself, and hence an even emotional background, less exposure to stress;
• Regulatory - helps to make the most correct and timely choice regarding your personality;
• Developing - the correct assessment of one's personality gives a strong impetus to its development.

The situation in which a person absolutely independently evaluates his qualities and capabilities and adequately understands what he is good at and what is bad is considered ideal. From this he plans his life - what he will do, what he will study, and so on. Of course, such impossible .

From early childhood to late old age, everything around is trying to influence us, our self-esteem. At the very beginning, we are characterized parents, after peers and friends, then add to this teachers and professors, colleagues, bosses etc.

As a result, we do not even evaluate ourselves, but compare the opinion of others about ourselves with the ideals imposed by society. Where can we get to adequate self-esteem, some of the information received does not apply to reality at all!

But only by correctly evaluating your abilities, you can understand in which direction you need to develop and what you are like in general.

In this situation, bad any deviation. An inflated opinion of yourself will lead to many painful mistakes in life, although it is more rare. Much more common low self-esteem which destroys people's lives, does not allow to open up, to show the maximum of their capabilities. The neglected form of this problem leads to an inferiority complex, and hence the destruction of the personality.

Essentially, this one of the main reasons that a person cannot earn money. Not confident in himself, he rushes from corner to corner, afraid to take a step that is risky in his opinion or the thoughts of those around him, eventually despairs and continues to live from one meager salary to another.

Moreover, in such cases, one cannot open one’s own business, because the qualities necessary for this are: activity, readiness to risk and accept decisions are taken from true, adequate self-esteem.

Lack of self-confidence takes the energy of the individual, fetters his actions, which leads to a terrible state when a person is only able to think or dream about action, and not resolutely take up the realization of his desires.

2. How to love yourself and what will happen if this is not done 💋

love yourself does not mean become narcissistic. In fact, it has to do with self-esteem. Only the person who is able to evaluate himself, highlight all his advantages and disadvantages, can really honestly and fairly treat his personality.

How to learn to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman and a man

So, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem?

Having low self-esteem, you will only see everything negative in yourself, which of course will not lead to anything good.

Justified self-love based on your virtues and constant work above the shortcomings there is a guarantee that others will treat you well.

It's really hard to love someone who do not appreciate and does not respect myself. It's more of a pity than anything else. Being competitive in business or choosing a spouse or many other things is only possible if you have high self-esteem and right attitude towards yourself . repressed and downtrodden personality cannot be realized in the modern world.

It is a big mistake to constantly look for flaws in yourself. The more you do this, the more difficult it will be for you to make any, even the most insignificant decision.

self-criticism- this is excellent, but it must be harmoniously balanced with praise, forgiveness and respect for one's own personality.

Our psyche has enough specific defense mechanisms against pain, discomfort and various threats. Our consciousness is only the visible part of a huge iceberg, which hides the subconscious. It is also not homogeneous and consists of various personalities "coexisting in one body." Each of them affects the consciousness, the body constantly expressing its desires and needs.

Suppressing the natural desire to be happy, developing an inferiority complex, you make it possible to crawl out the most dark corners of your psyche.

This can lead to various psychological deviations of varying severity. A calm person will be doomed to eternal depression(read the article - ""), and in a sensitive nature, signs of schizophrenia, various manias and other extremely serious diseases. Of course, these are very rare cases, but the risk exists.

3. How to determine that you have low self-esteem?

Here is a list of signs by which you can determine whether a person has low self-esteem:

• a large amount of criticism addressed to you, both on the case and out of the blue;
• dissatisfaction with any of their actions and results;
• too strong a reaction to extraneous criticism;
• a painful reaction to an opinion expressed about oneself, even a positive one;
• fear of doing something wrong;
• indecision, it takes a long time to think before doing anything;
• unhealthy jealousy;
• strong envy, especially when others have achieved something;
• an obsessive desire to please, literally creep in front of others;
• hatred of one's environment, unreasonable anger at others;
• constant excuses;
• the desire to protect yourself from everything in the world;
• enduring pessimism;
• lots of negativity all over the place.

Low self-esteem makes a person suffer much more from failure. Any problem is temporary, especially if you start solving it in time.

If a person is insecure, then she will aggravate the trouble until she becomes insoluble, eventually drop his hands and leave everything on gravity that will bring problems in all areas of life.

Such an approach on an ongoing basis will aggravate self-esteem, make you feel worthless, as a result hate yourself.

Society is very sensitive to this, and as soon as your negative attitude towards yourself becomes noticeable, others will begin to treat you worse. The further, the more that eventually ends in alienation and reclusion, a deeply unhappy existence, lack of money and personal life, psycho-emotional disorders.

There is an absolute pattern: respect yourself and others will respect you .

Success factors are self-confidence and high self-esteem

4. Inflated self-esteem and self-confidence 👍 are the most important success factors

Self love- this is not a flaw, not arrogance, and so on. It is worth distinguishing between narcissism and a healthy respect for one's personality.

The most important thing - Reconcile your opinion with reality. If you are really good at carving wood, love yourself for it, be proud of it, even brag about it.

If you have just started doing this - appreciate yourself for striving for something new, desire to do something. In each action, one can find positive parties and negative . Love yourself for the first and adequately treat the second.

Only in this case, the people who surround you will see your positive aspects, start you value and respect. If everything is the other way around, and you look for more and more flaws in your work, others will do the same. And believe me, they will find them.

The more you will confident the more people will reach out to you. And those who have a level of self-esteem higher than yours, and those who have it lower. They will want to communicate closer, start cooperation, just talk with an interesting, confident person who is not afraid and does not hesitate to tell what he sees fit or to do what he thinks is right.

The strength of the spirit attracts everyone- from small to large, which will make you not only popular, but also more satisfied with your life.

Signs of good, high self-esteem:

• the physical body is not a burdensome ugly shell, but a given from nature;
• self-confidence, their actions and words;
• mistakes are not obstacles on the way, but a way to learn more;
• criticism is useful information that does not affect self-esteem;
• compliments are pleasant and do not cause strong emotions;
• speak calmly with all people, do not feel awkward when communicating with strangers;
• each opinion expressed is valuable, but does not fundamentally affect the opinion of the person himself;
• take care of the condition of the body;
• worry about their emotional balance, correct it if necessary;
• constantly harmonious development, without jumps and unrealistic tasks;
• they finish what they started, achieve success in this and are not afraid of it.

Believe in yourself, respect your own self- this is the basis for achieving any goal, including the fundamental one - be happy. This will help you grow above yourself today, forget about those troubles and disgusting feelings that you experienced at the bottom of your own self-esteem.

In the territory of the former Soviet Union, many members of the older generation have big problems with self-esteem. At that time, it was extremely unpopular, since the general good was the leading one, and not the happiness of everyone. Next generation 90s also did not receive enough adequate positive information about themselves from the world due to the difficult situation in the country, lack of money, dangerous criminal situation.

At this time, it's time to forget about it and think about own well-being. In order to change your self-esteem, you need to work on your personality.

This will be the very qualitative change in life that you have dreamed of so much.

The main reasons for low self-esteem

5. Low self-esteem - 5 main causes of self-doubt 📑

The mouse race, in which a person participates from birth, forces him to form a certain opinion about himself. As a result, by the beginning of a conscious life, we often get unhappy and sad a young man who perfectly understands that ahead of him and his complexes there is a lot of trouble and the need to work. Why is it so?

Reason #1. Family

If you ask yourself where a person gets their opinion of themselves, the first correct answer is family. We receive most of our psychological attitudes at a very young age. This is due to the fact that during physiological development, emotional formation also occurs.

In other words, while we are growing up, our parents and environment are laying down the brick-by-brick foundation of our future personality.

It is logical to assume that the opinion created in childhood about ourselves will remain with us for many years, and maybe for life. It is good if parents understand this and are responsible for what they say to the child and how they do it. However, this does not always happen.

For example, according to parents, a child from kindergarten constantly makes mistakes. The progress of parental humiliation looks like this:

• Built a beautiful house from the designer? And who will clean it up?
• Did you beat the guys from the neighboring yard in the game of snowballs? Yes, you’re all wet, you’ll get sick, but we don’t have any money anyway!
• Got an 5 in Physical Education? Where's the math, stupid?
• What do you mean you like this girl? Her father is a gardener, and this is not prestigious!

So, day after day, parents impose on the child that he cannot do anything right. The kid stops believing that he is able to do something with his hands, have fun, choose a partner, company, and so on.

Against this background, self-love cannot arise in any way, who can respect and appreciate such an awkward creature? Then, about twenty years later, parents are surprised to discover that their child is a loser, has not achieved anything in life, is lonely and sad and blames him for this ... himself, because they put so much effort into him, and he, ungrateful... and all in the same vein.

What should a person do in this situation? Of course, work on yourself, increase self-esteem and strive for happiness. Everything is possible, the main thing is to want.

Parents should remember that criticism is a dangerous tool of education that can lead to painful consequences. It is worth knowing that you are raising a separate person who must be confident in his decisions and actions, have his own opinion, be able to make decisions, and not limply follow you as an extension of your body and mind.

The best situation for a baby is good and affectionate mother who always calm and happy. The father, on the other hand, must be demanding, have serious authority and, most importantly, treat the child fairly at any age.

It is also worth paying attention to every baby in the family, even if there are a lot of them. So-called " little brother syndrome", when the younger is reproached for the success of the elder - worse What can you think of to build a healthy self-esteem.

As family for a child- the center of the universe, you should carefully consider his ego. If you feel that your self-esteem is falling, raise it.

It doesn't take much to do this - just give him fair praise a few times a day and he'll go to bed happier. Encourage him to do what he does best and gently point out flaws rather than criticize. So the self-esteem of the child will inevitably rise and ensure his stability in life and a happy future.

Reason number 2. Failure at an early age

From early childhood on our way there are failures. This is inevitable for every person, because we live in a far from ideal world. An adult with a stable psyche is usually quite calm about failures, can overcome them and extract useful information from them, but this is not always the case with children.

At a very early age, even if you don’t remember the failure, it is possible that it is in the depths of your subconscious and whispers all the time: “ do nothing, it won't work anyway, I'm always behind you". This must be fought.

Over time, if you work on your personality, these memories will come up, they will be very painful and unpleasant, but having analyzed them in detail and realizing that your mistake is completely insignificant and should not subsequently affect you in any way, you will get rid of a significant burden on your heart.

Starting from the time you remember well all your troubles, it is much easier to work with this. Rummaging through the mind, you are sure to find a couple dozens moments that have haunted you since high school. Refusal of a roommate, teacher's bad expression, father's rude comment, failure in competition, double in physics are all examples of a heavy load that lowers your self-esteem and takes away positive energy for eternal torment over long-experienced problems.

All this from youth forms the consciousness of a loser who simply cannot achieve something in life, and this is a lie - after all, everyone is capable of it.

Reason number 3. Life passivity

The formation of personality begins in childhood and in the early stages does not require any effort from us. However, the older we get, the more this situation changes.

To 15 years old our personality will not move forward an inch if we do not try for it. That is, over time, more and more willpower will be required from each person in order to at least remain at the original level, for development it will be necessary to do more and more.

If from childhood a child is depressed, not used to working on himself and developing, in adulthood he will relate to the so-called gray mass.

This substance in society is characterized by the fact that its unit:

• does not want to develop;
• constantly putting off important things for later (procrastinates). About that, read in one of our articles;
• does not dream of more;
• does not take personal responsibility for himself or his family;
• accustomed to poverty/small prosperity;
• does not take care of himself, his appearance;
• believes that everything new is terrible and superfluous in his life;
• does not know how to be satisfied or dissatisfied - emotions are absolutely inert.

There is a famous physicist saying that a person without willpower is just a vertical puddle. The gray mass consists of such individuals. This is not an example of poor self-esteem, but of its complete absence.

No aspirations, no wishes, eternal lack of money and lack of any bright impressions that can dispel the gray reality.

This is a rather sad sight that destroys thousands of lives, including those children who grow up in such families. Raise self-esteem in such a case it is vital for women and men.

If this is not done, a happy, bright, full of emotions life will pass by, leaving fragments of poverty and an eternally depressive mood.

Reason number 4. Environment

We are all surrounded by a large number of people. Some of them are successful, others not so much, and others do not want to be so. If you decide to take everything from life, to make yourself a happy, self-confident person, you should acquire the appropriate environment.

Signs of an unhealthy society:

• constant groundless philosophizing, verbiage;
• criticism of everything in the world, from the government to neighbors, especially groundless or meaningless;
• inertia and lack of initiative, for example, if you cannot persuade your friends to go to a concert or a movie;
• constant gossip, condemnation of others behind their backs;
• planning to get rich quick without any action or effort;
• a large amount of alcohol, cigarettes and other bad habits.

The lack of desire to develop, work and generally try in life is quite contagious. In such a company, you feel no worse than anyone, but it relaxes, requires a lot of time and emotions, pulls you to the bottom. This is energy vampirism which is difficult, even impossible, to fight. If you can, leave such a company or environment completely, if not, just minimize communication.

The best society for those who strive to develop is people who have already achieved. Don't know how to meet them? Try going to places you haven't been before. Usually this libraries, book the shops, theaters, thematic establishments, seminars, trainings etc.

Reason number 5. Appearance problems

A strong factor, especially in adolescence, is appearance. If she has some defects, then even with the right approach of relatives to education, low self-esteem can be formed on the basis of the opinions of peers, teachers, and so on.

The most common example in this case is excess weight. Offensive nicknames, the lack of attention of girls / boys, the contemptuous attitude of some adults - all this naturally affects the personality of the child.

If this manifested itself in adulthood, then the person will demonstrate his resentment not so clearly, but the pain will not decrease from this.

In order to change this, you can try to fix the defect. For example, if this is a diet, then the whole family should sit on it so that the child does not feel disadvantaged. If change is not possible, the child needs to be helped to come to terms with this situation and develop in a different direction.

There are many charismatic and attractive fat men in the world and thin people who are absolutely not interesting to anyone.

7 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Become Self-Confident

6. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways 📚

Having figured out what self-esteem is, why it is needed and what affects it on its formation, you can proceed to how to work with it, namely how to raise it.

It’s not enough just to realize that you don’t evaluate yourself correctly, you also need to be able to change the situation. Below are some interesting and effective ways to increase self-esteem and confidence.

Method number 1. Environment

The society you move in defines who you are. It is important for everyone not to be the last. In a company where no one has achieved anything, you feel comfortable because everyone is just like you.

Now imagine that you find yourself in a social circle where one bought a new car yesterday, the second opened a new branch of his store, the third recently graduated from university. At the same time, you hardly graduated from technical school, and can't get a job anywhere.

What will your feelings be? Certainly unpleasant. In addition, you will receive a powerful, powerful impetus to development, a desire to do something significant for your life and career. At first you will feel awkward, but over time you will realize that you are changing for the better with this company.

In addition, you will get rid of the eternally depressing social circle that pulls you to the bottom and ridicules all your timid undertakings.

A strong and successful person will never, laughs at those who are just trying their hand. On the contrary, he will help and prompt, even support, if necessary.

Look for the right social circle that will make you work on yourself.

Method number 2. Literature, trainings, films

Having dealt with the environment, proceed to decisive steps, namely, take up reading books on working on yourself, increasing self-esteem. This list will help you:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Sharon Wegshida-Kroes “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself”;
• "The Charm of the Feminine" by Helen Andelin;
• Louise Hay Heal Your Life.

Next stage - attending seminars and practices . People who want to change and coaches who are able to give it to them gather here. Thus, you change the environment and get the desired information. This is an effective way that allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

Method number 3. The comfort zone is actually the enemy

No matter how strange it may sound, but for now you comfortable and calmly in the world in which you exist is very bad for your personality. The established rules of life will make you ossify and freeze at one place. Only by doing something new can you develop.

In fact, it only seems to you that you already have all the best. There, outside your invisible cage, lives and rages wonderful and amusing a world that is filled not with difficulties and troubles, but with incredible adventures, new stories and acquaintances.

As soon as you throw your fears into the furnace, it will open up to you, instill a sense of self-confidence and show many of the brightest events that you could not even think of.

What do you need to do to leave your "comfort zone"? Analyze where your time is going. How many hours a week do you watch TV, how much do you drink, how much do you play games, and so on. Reduce this time by three hours in seven days and devote them to something new. For what you've always wanted: sculpt from clay, sew a new dress, plant a flower, go to the circus / cinema / theater. The more active the better. Over time, a bright life will drag you in, and you will forget about the mediocre chatty box and other garbage items.

Method number 4. Down with self-criticism!

If you stop eating yourself alive superfluous self-criticism , you can immediately complete three extremely important tasks, which in other ways will take you a lot of time and effort.

First of all, you will get a lot of free energy. All those forces that you spent on self-criticism and the search for reasons for it can be directed to actions that are more pleasant and useful. For example, reading exciting books with a relaxing plot or writing poetry, knitting, planting flowers, and so on.

Secondly, you will begin to perceive yourself as a holistic person who has his own personality. Yes, you do not look like Vasya, Einstein or Alain Delon. Do not need! Be yourself, and do not participate in the eternal, someone else's competition in which someone has already taken first place.

Thirdly, you will begin to notice in yourself not only the negative, but also the positive aspects. Everyone has something good, something that he knows how to do. Discover it, isolate and educate, improve, nurture, without wasting time and effort. This is the best investment in yourself!

Whatever painful mistakes you encounter, don't let yourself grieve over them for more than an hour. After suffering a little, force yourself to be happy again, and take failure as an experience.

Method number 5. Physical exercise

So unloved by many, physical activity greatly affects our emotional state. To boost self-esteem, buying a gym membership can do more than a lot of training.

This happens because:

• during sports, a wonderful hormone dopamine is released in a person, which excites our brain and gives a pleasant encouragement, colloquially it is also called the hormone of joy;
• you bring your body, and hence your appearance, into perfect order, so that over time you can be proud of it and respect yourself for the work done;
• even the classes themselves are important without results, because in the process of performing each exercise you overcome laziness, complexes and other troubles;
• improving well-being gives and develops confidence in yourself and your actions, in every step - it is easier for you to move and feel, it is easier to persuade yourself to start doing something.

This is a great way to improve the quality of life for people with a sedentary lifestyle and the same work. All day, after spending in a stuffy office, it is worth unwinding, but not going to drink beer in a bar. It's more likely to have a detrimental effect on you, and sport on the contrary, it will update and make it more cheerful.

A heavy-lifting person, with a heavy and unattractive body, cannot feel good in the company of slender and healthy people. This is fertile ground for the development of complexes, lowering self-esteem and other troubles.

Among other things, sports will help to start New acquaintances with purposeful people who can teach and show by your own example, that any changes are possible, which also has a beneficial effect on your psyche.

Method number 6. Subconscious programming

You can also influence your consciousness with the help of another, no less interesting and effective tool - programming. In psychology, this is called affirmations. Consider your computer. You give it a command, it processes it and takes the requested action. It's the same with our subconscious, only a little more complicated. You can't just say, "make me happy and confident."

The code, the command is memorized or recorded on the recorder. It should sound like a solid, realized fact. For example, "I am confident", " girls like me», « I can have what I want without much effort» and all in the same spirit. There should not be many such phrases, they should be repeated in the playlist or just to yourself for about two minutes.

These affirmations and they will be the very installation in the subconscious, the command for the computer, which will convince your subconscious of what you need. Do you want to be confident- please convince the hidden parts of your brain of this and it will independently remake the entire conscious part so that you become completely independent and can easily make decisions.

There is one rule here - you need to do this regularly, even after you feel the changes. Continue until you are surprised to find that the affirmations you are listening to are already a fact.

Remember that these words should have an extremely positive effect on your personality, not form ambiguities and not be in doubt. What you convince yourself of should have only benefits, without negative effects, because it will not be easy to “persuade” the subconscious mind back.

Method number 7. Remember your victories

Never neglect what has already been done. This is important for your consciousness, and for the subconscious and for a good mood. There is always something to praise yourself for, and if this is not enough, you will begin to subconsciously strive to do something good for the sake of it. Even if you praise yourself.

To operate this mechanism, start a notebook of victories. In it you need to write down everything that you consider a good deed, a useful action, and so on. Any little things or minor victories - all this is very important for your self-esteem, a sense of being needed in the world.

It might look like this, for example:

• had breakfast on time;
• took the linen from the laundry;
• bought some roses for his beloved wife;
• pleased his daughter with a game of tag;
• earned an award for a well-written report;
• went to the gym three times a week;
• lost 300 grams.

As you can see, achievements can be anything as long as they brought joy to someone or moral satisfaction to you. In a few months, you can collect an impressive collection that will warm your soul on cold evenings.

Write it down in your personal notebook and in difficult times when you cannot find strength in yourself do some difficult task or go up to an extracurricular meeting at work, reread a few pages of the diary.

Your mood is guaranteed to rise, you will remember how many positive emotions your efforts brought to you and your loved ones, and this is a powerful impetus to defeat all the troubles in the world.

The use of these ways to increase self-esteem requires regularity and mindfulness. Carefully monitor your state and thoughts, try to highlight the most successful of them, watch how you change.

This will help you get to know yourself better, learn to communicate with your inner self, and control your life.

Coaching to develop and increase self-confidence - by overcoming public opinion

7. Self-confidence training - overcoming the opinions of society 📝

The society that surrounds us, as we have already understood, seriously affects our self-esteem. If you attach too much importance to it, then it is quite capable of destroying the personality.

Of course, criticism is important. Our loved ones point out our mistakes to us, show us the moments in which, in their opinion, we did wrong and this is good. It is called healthy relationships .

However, let it completely define your personality bad. Each person must independently decide what is good in his life and what is not, and how in the end he will act in a given situation.

Don't worry about what others will say about you first. First, decide what you think about it, and try to perceive the rest of the information as a background, secondarily.

Try to make sure that the opinion of society depends on yours, and not vice versa. There are several interesting exercises for this.

A little circus. This is just a physical exercise that will require serious psychological strength from you. Look in the closet for something ridiculous - an old long tie, funny pants, anything that seems funny to you. Now put it on and boldly head out into the street. Go shopping, go to the movies and so on. It's not worth doing this at work.- may be misunderstood, otherwise - complete expanse. However, do not overdo it, first take less provocative things and eventually put on something more fun so as not to immediately injure your psyche.

This exercise works like this. Your subconscious retains a lot of complexes that are associated with its appearance. The more you go out of your comfort zone, that is, dress inappropriately, the more your subconscious mind will independently destroy established complexes and make your consciousness, and therefore life, freer.

More public. This exercise is simple. The more you speak in public, the more honed this skill will become. Appearances before large quantity people requires composure, high-quality preparation, effort of will.

This will help you learn to concentrate and complete the task quickly, while being responsible for the result. In addition, it will elevate you in the eyes of your superiors, and will recommend you well among a large audience.

Do these two exercises and be firm in your opinion.

8. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem 📋

Much has been said about self-esteem. It may be difficult for you to immediately perceive and implement the entire situation.

For this there is 5 golden rules to print out and hang on the fridge. Constantly reminding and reading them will do the job for you. On a subconscious level, your brain will perceive them as instructions for action and will facilitate the period of transformation into a successful person.

• No need to compare yourself and others!
• No need to beat yourself up for mistakes!
• Surround yourself with positivity!
• Learn to love what you do!
• Prefer action over passivity!

Everyone unique and worthy happiness. It is imperative to unleash your unlimited potential in order to get everything out of life.

This requires constant work on yourself and a mandatory increase in self-esteem. But the results will not be long in coming, which will benefit both you and your environment.

9. Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today 📄

The first practical task on the way to increase self-esteem is to determine its level. To do this, there is a very simple self-esteem test of a dozen questions.

It is very easy to pass it - read each item and answer " Yes" or " No" . Every time you answer " Yes"Remember.

1. Do you sharply criticize yourself when you make a mistake?
2. Gossip is one of your favorite activities?
3. You do not have clear guidelines?
4. Are you not physically active?
5. Do you often worry about the little things?
6. In an unfamiliar society, do you prefer not to be noticed?
7. Does criticism make you feel stressed?
8. Envy and criticism of others often happens?
9. The opposite sex remains a mystery, scares you?
10. Can an inadvertently thrown word offend you?

Now you need to remember how many "Yes" you said. If less three Your self-esteem is at a normal level. If more three- you need work on it.

10. Conclusion + related video

With a sincere desire to change and change your life, you can achieve a lot. Raising, normalizing self-esteem, this is one of the first, fairly simple steps, which ultimately allows you to achieve success, happiness and of money.

Do not spare your strength, do not take care of yourself until better times. Develop now, get invaluable experience and build your future on a new level!

Low self-esteem is a very serious problem for many girls, because it threatens them not only with disappointments in their personal lives, but also with failures in the professional field. What self-esteem can be considered low and is there a way to increase it?

What is self-esteem

Normal self-esteem

So, if you are the owner of adequate self-esteem, then we can say that you are very lucky. For people of this type, a real assessment of their capabilities is typical. Such girls are not afraid to set themselves serious goals, and have a clear idea of ​​​​how this goal can submit to them. There is also an opinion that only a truly mature person can have normal self-esteem - this is possible both at sixteen and at forty.

A high self-evaluation

Perhaps people of this type are considered the most unpleasant personalities for others than others. It is noteworthy that often they do not even realize that their self-esteem is really inflated. However, some believe that only such persons are able to achieve great goals - with a certain amount of luck, this is true. However, the main problem of arrogant people is that they quickly lose true friendships due to their own unwillingness and inability to admit their mistakes. Also, such people greatly overestimate their importance in the world around them - at work, among friends, in the family, and so on. They are rarely able to sincerely apologize, because they often do not suspect that they can really do wrong. As a rule, they are friends with such people and communicate only because of possible benefits or from hopelessness.

Low or low self-esteem (causes and signs)

The hardest life is for girls who are prone to low self-esteem. Most often, the reason lies in the wrong upbringing on the part of parents or in other problems during the school years. What is characteristic of a person whose self-esteem is clearly underestimated? As a rule, almost immediately it is evident that the girl is unsure of herself. Most often, she is uncommunicative and rather reserved - she is very afraid to voice her opinion, even if she is asked about it. In addition, such a girl takes the initiative only in the most extreme cases, preferring to act on someone else's orders. It often seems to her that she looks stupid or inappropriate, and if representatives of the opposite sex begin to show interest in her, she immediately begins to look for some kind of or a trick. Girls of this type prefer not to draw attention to themselves, and if they have to be in some kind of company, then they will be calmer if they remain practically unnoticed.

Relationships in the family

Many people know that most of the complexes are drawn to a person from childhood, and if parents do not notice or even provoke some kind of problem in the child's self-esteem, then it is likely to fully manifest itself in adulthood. If your parents did not give you enough attention and love, but at the same time found the opportunity to criticize and regularly make various demands, then probably now your self-esteem is somewhat underestimated. Comparisons of your child with his friends, in favor of the latter, also do not affect in the best way. The child gets used to feeling inferior to others, and this habit passes into adulthood.

Relationships with peers

A very important factor to pay close attention to. If as a child you had some features or talents that your peers treated with ridicule, then this is a very serious cause for concern. Due to the disapproving attitude of friends and classmates, it is difficult for a child to accept himself, and this feeling of some kind of “wrongness” accompanies him in adulthood. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that if relations in the family are good, and the child receives an adequate upbringing, then the influence of peers, most likely, will not affect his future life. If you notice that your children are uncomfortable in the company of their peers, then this is a serious reason to change the environment of your kids, as well as to do psychological work with them.

The first love

The first loves - in childhood or adolescence - can also have a big impact on self-esteem. In general, here we can mention relationships with the opposite sex, in general. If a girl aroused sympathy among boys, then this would probably have a positive effect on her own perception of herself. However, if the boys not only did not notice her, but also mocked her, this could negatively affect the formation of female self-esteem. In addition, it also matters what the girl's first love was - mutual or not. If the love turned into a romantic relationship, this is a good sign, but if the girl was rejected, this is likely to affect her self-esteem.

Ways to increase self-esteem in a woman or girl

Accept and love yourself

If you suffer from low self-esteem, then the conclusion suggests itself - you need to urgently increase it. First of all, realize that there are no perfect people, even if it seems to you that they are not. Do not dwell on your shortcomings, many of which you probably made up yourself - these are just your features. Instead, pay attention to your strengths. If you think that you don't have them, then you are wrong. Look for the good in yourself until you find it! It is also possible that you are one step away from some of your advantages. Perhaps sports will give you a perfect figure, make-up lessons will teach you how to use cosmetics as effectively and successfully as possible, cutting and sewing courses will allow you to create winning outfits for yourself. Be that as it may, in your case it is very important to love yourself under any circumstances, even when it seems to you that you are not worthy of this love. Become your main support, and your life will begin to improve.

Stop comparing yourself to others

People with low self-esteem, comparing themselves with others, as a rule, do it not in their favor. Realize that any comparison is an absolutely useless exercise that will not lead to anything good. Of course, it is another matter if, by comparing yourself with someone, you gain an incentive to become better yourself. In the case when everything ends only with self-flagellation and a bad mood, this habit must be abandoned. All people are different - everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, even if it seems to you that there are exceptions. Do not compare yourself to anyone - just take care of yourself and improve, without looking at anyone.

Down with self-criticism

Self-criticism can only be useful if it stimulates you to new achievements. Unfortunately, girls who suffer from low self-esteem, criticizing themselves, only make things worse. Mentally again and again returning to your imperfections, you only drive yourself into depression. Instead, find a reason to praise yourself. Also encourage any of your small victories - buy yourself goodies, take care of yourself.

Be a little selfish

Many women with low self-esteem are highly self-sacrificing. Believing that they do not deserve love in themselves, such persons try to "deserve" or "earn" love and attention. This can manifest itself in relationships with a husband or friends. Perhaps you are also affected by this. Examples of such behavior: you make expensive gifts to people, infringing on yourself; you spend time on their affairs, relegating your own worries to the background; you regularly adjust to other people's plans, even if it is inconvenient for you, and so on. If you notice something like this for yourself, then you need to urgently change it. Learn to put your needs and desires first - at first it will be unusual for you, but then you will feel all the benefits of such tactics.

Faith in yourself and in your success

Do not doubt yourself and do not belittle your dignity. If you want to achieve something, then do not deprive yourself of such an opportunity! If you do not make an attempt, then everything will remain the same, but if your efforts are crowned with success, your life will sparkle with new colors - believe that this is exactly what will happen! To set yourself in the right mood, periodically read the biographies of successful people.

If you don’t like something in yourself or your life, then only in your power to fix it! Self-development and self-improvement will never be superfluous. Take time to learn new things and take care of your health and appearance. Be attentive to your health, periodically sign up for useful cosmetic procedures, expand your horizons. You can start living a really interesting life if you choose to! For very few people, everything comes easy, and if you think that someone is very lucky, but you are not, then most likely it is not a matter of luck at all, but of hard work on yourself. Think about what qualities you don't like about yourself, leave a plan by which you can fix it, and stick to it.

Forgive yourself for defeats, praise for victories

Many girls are very painful about their defeats. Such a development of events most often drives them into a depressed state and significantly undermines self-confidence. If this is your case, then it is useful for you to learn to ignore such mistakes, only drawing the necessary lessons from them. At the same time, you should develop a completely different attitude towards your victories. Remember your achievements, reward yourself for them by giving yourself small or large gifts.

More positivity and optimism

It is very important for a girl suffering from low self-esteem to learn to think positively. On the Internet you can find many methods on this subject, but the essence is the same - whatever happens, look for positive aspects in this, even if it is rather difficult. Try not only not to talk about negative topics, but also not to think about them. Control yourself - thinking about something bad, immediately switch to more pleasant thoughts. In any situation, initially set yourself up for success, and it will accompany you!

Fight your fears. If you feel uncomfortable in large companies, and you get lost in conversations with unfamiliar people, then this can be corrected. Oratory courses, periodic visits to crowded places can help you. Try to meet your fear, and then it will start to recede. Comprehend new knowledge. If you are not yet comfortable attending any courses or master classes, look for the necessary lessons on the Internet. So you can learn a foreign language, learn to sew, dance and much more. The more new skills you acquire, the higher your self-esteem will be. Do not communicate with people who underestimate your self-esteem. If there is even the slightest possibility of this, cut off contact with them altogether. Such communication will only harm you, and under such circumstances it is very difficult to achieve a positive result. At the same time, try to be more often in the company of people next to whom you feel confident and comfortable. Pay special attention to taking care of yourself and your appearance. People who are afraid of drawing attention to themselves are usually afraid that some kind of flaw will become obvious to others. You do not have to live with this feeling - find any way to correct what confuses you and limits you in communication with other people. If you have enough time to engage in self-criticism and indulge in discouragement, then it is better to direct it to completely a different direction - set big and small goals for yourself, make plans for how they can be achieved, and then proceed to realize your ideas. And in no case do not think that you will not succeed. If you really want something, then it is achievable, even if not on the first try. The main thing is to start taking action, because usually the first step is the most difficult.

People with high self-esteem are hard to find. After all, even society does not approve of an overly positive view of oneself. We all constantly compare ourselves to supermodels or think about how it would be worth earning more and becoming better. But you can make a difference! Here are twelve steps you can take today.

Pay attention to how you refer to yourself

Do you have any idea how many negative thoughts go through your mind every day? Unlikely. Even if it’s something familiar like “My hair is terrible today,” it’s worth paying attention and controlling your mood. Take a notepad and write down all the bad things you think about yourself. After a week, take a look at the resulting list, think it over and write a rebuttal for each item.

Don't compare yourself to others

Your self-esteem drops instantly when you look at Angelina Jolie or your millionaire relative's bank account. But you can change the situation! Stop comparing yourself to others. Think about what you have. You have a roof over your head, food is on the table, you are already lucky. Be grateful for everything you have and don't complain about what you don't have.

Don't live in the past

Even if you have done something in the past that you are ashamed of, it cannot define your personality for the rest of your life. No one can turn back time, so the best thing to do is forgive yourself for the mistake, decide not to repeat it, and move on. Replaying thoughts of failure over and over won't get you anywhere. Or maybe it was better in the past? This is also not a reason to live in bygone days. Everything changes, and life does not stand still, move on with it.

Find a friend to support

Anyone who has ever tried to change their habits knows how difficult it is. Low self-esteem is also a kind of habit, it is the nature of your thoughts that you have chosen. That is why it is important to have a person who would point out to us the appearance of negativity in the mood and help us return to a positive way. Sometimes we just don't realize how much we underestimate ourselves.

Figure out what makes you feel insignificant

Think about the reasons for low self-esteem. Maybe you always had a more successful sister? Were you teased as a child? Everyone has weaknesses, so it's important to deal with them and try not to feel bad about yourself. Everything that caused you negativity is already in the past, you have changed. Don't judge yourself in that context.

Separate thoughts from real facts

Maybe you think that you are overweight, but in fact everything is completely wrong. Maybe you are just surrounded by thinner girlfriends, and you are medium in size. If you constantly compare yourself to others, your reality will not be objective. Rely only on facts - feelings are very different from them, and they can not always be completely trusted.

Treat yourself like a friend who needs support

We all criticize ourselves much more than our friends. A good friend is always supportive and won't make malicious comments. Be that kind of friend to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Give compliments, praise yourself more often. You don't need anyone to do this, you can handle it yourself.

Believe the people who praise you

Some people just don't know how to take compliments. It sounds strange, but it's true. The reason is that they simply do not believe in kind words. They have a completely different belief in their head that they are wrong and not good. Stop doing that! If someone praises you, believe him! Say "thank you" and smile!

Use visualization

By repeating affirmations and visualizing, you can reprogram your mind. The more you convince yourself that you have a normal self-esteem, or imagine how your life has changed, the more your brain confuses this with reality. Repeat to yourself that you are a good person, that you are worthy of love. Visualize your happiness and feel better.

Take advantage of hypnosis

In order to reprogram consciousness, there are other methods. For example, hypnosis is a very powerful tool. It is enough to get a special disk and listen to it regularly, and your self-esteem can become much higher than before.

List your good qualities and accomplishments

Sometimes we focus too much on our shortcomings, not noticing the positive qualities. Take some time for yourself - sit down and write down your pluses. Whatever it is, write down any advantage, talent, character trait. What have you been able to do successfully in the past? Remember your achievements and understand that you matter to this world.

act

Reading a motivational article can be very interesting, but it won't do you any good if you don't start taking action. Heed all these tips! Start acting! Try something! The path to success begins with one step, so be bold.