Any manifestation of the external and internal world finds a response in a person in the form of emotions. From what they are emotions, negative or positive strong or not, our health directly depends. About the signs of nervousness and its causes this article .

Mental stress is experienced by people at any age.

If a child can laugh with tears in his eyes, and a teenager after 3-4 days forgets about unhappy love, then an adult is worried for any reason, and scrolls unpleasant thoughts in his memory for a long time, cherishing them inside himself, and thereby driving his psyche into a state of stress.

This is explained by the fact that with age, the immune defense decreases, the hormonal background changes and the person becomes more and more prone to a negative perception of reality.

And there are enough reasons to be nervous in the modern world - excessive haste, daily stresses at home and at work, hard work, social vulnerability, etc.

By the way, constant nervousness is one of the reasons for the strange night eating syndrome, in which people wake up at night from hunger and are not able to fall asleep without a snack.

Why are we nervous

Objective reasons

The conditions of human existence have changed as a biological species. At the beginning of evolution, man led a natural lifestyle: the level of physical activity and the neuropsychic stress necessary for survival corresponded to each other.

The habitat was ecologically clean, and if it became unusable, then the community of people changed it to another one without trying to change it.

The information environment has changed. Each decade doubles the amount of information accumulated before that. Scientific and technological progress has a tremendous impact on the brain: the speed of information incoming does not correspond to the biological possibilities of its assimilation, which is aggravated by the lack of time.

Information overload is experienced by children at school, especially diligent ones: the mental state of a first-grader when writing test papers and the state of an astronaut at the time of spacecraft takeoff are comparable.

Many professions also create information loads: an air traffic controller, for example, must control up to two dozen aircraft at the same time, and a teacher must pay enough attention to dozens of students.

How to use products to improve brain function, prevent its atrophy and dementia (dementia, Alzheimer's).

Urban population growth increased the density of human contacts and the degree of tension between people. The number of unpleasant and inevitable relationships has increased in public transport, in queues, in shops.

At the same time, beneficial contacts (for example, family contacts) have decreased and take only about 30 minutes per day.

Increased noise level, especially in cities, exceeds natural norms and has a negative impact on our psyche and body as a whole: blood pressure and respiratory rate change, sleep and the nature of dreams are disturbed, and other adverse symptoms.

We are exposed to noise almost constantly, sometimes without noticing it (TV, radio).

Bad ecology also has an indirect effect on the brain and psyche. The high level of carbon monoxide in the air we breathe reduces brain gas exchange and its performance. Sulfur and nitrogen oxides disrupt brain metabolism.

Radioactive contamination occupies a special place in the deterioration of the psyche: our nervous system suffers greatly from its high level. The psychological impact of this factor exacerbates the harmful action, generating fear.

Scientific and technological revolution improved the material living conditions of a person, but significantly reduced, at the same time, his margin of safety. The decrease in physical activity has led to a violation of the biological mechanisms of the human body.

Subjective reasons

Strong emotions are usually a defensive reaction to manifestations of the outside world. We are nervous if we are not confident in ourselves, in our present, we experience fear of the future, dissatisfaction with ourselves and others.

Any living organism, in the presence of a threat, responds with compression (muscle tension) - to become invisible, to hide so that the "predator" does not notice, does not eat.

In the modern world, this “predator” has transformed into different images of the social, social environment: the level of well-being, relations with superiors, fear of responsibility, fear of criticism and condemnation, a small pension, impending poor old age, etc.

These social "predators" frighten us, we want to hide and not think about them, but thoughts always return to unpleasant things willingly and spontaneously. From here, nervous tension arises again and again, which means that the body instinctively shrinks.

What happens to the body during nervous tension

Strong and prolonged emotions plunge the body into a state of stress: muscle tone rises, heart rate accelerates, digestion slows down, the stress hormone cortisol and the hormone of action and anxiety adrenaline are released into the blood.

There is a mobilization of all internal resources to overcome the danger, the body is ready for quick action.

Such a protective reaction is an ancient form of reaction, genetically incorporated and necessary for the survival of man as a biological species. It involves physical activity, the body must work out "adrenaline". And that is why physical activity helps with nervous tension.

Thus,

nervous tension is always accompanied by unconscious muscle tension .

With constant nervousness and a sedentary lifestyle, muscle tone becomes chronic. A person, as if enclosed in a muscular shell, movement in it requires huge energy costs. Therefore, fatigue is a faithful companion of nervous states.

Due to constant muscle tension, working capacity decreases, irritability appears, the functions of the digestive, cardiovascular and other systems and organs are disrupted.

Signs of nervous tension. How to help yourself

Drawing pains in the back, waist, neck, shoulder girdle. With any nervous overload, the tension of the skeletal muscles increases, while the muscles of the neck, shoulder blades and biceps bear the increased load.

Connect together and tightly squeeze the index and thumb fingers on both hands.

Do stretching exercises for the whole body and different muscle groups.

Massage your ankles as you move up to your thighs. Do the same for the arms, rising from the hands to the shoulders.

Sleep disturbance. It is common knowledge that the best and safest remedy for nervousness is sleep. However, if you go to bed with a load of problems, then your brain continues to solve them in a dream, which makes it impossible to fully relax.

There is no interest in love pleasures.

The subconscious of a person who is in a difficult life situation establishes a ban on receiving pleasure from life. So that he does not spray himself and throws all his strength into solving problems.

It turns out a contradiction:

a person in this state, on the contrary, needs positive emotions, namely the pleasure hormones endorphins produced during lovemaking, because these hormones protect the body from stress and minimize its harmful effects.

Giving up on your favorite hobby.

All forces are aimed at eliminating the cause that causes nervous tension (finish a project, finish an article, prepare a report, etc.), then there is simply not enough time or energy for the rest of life. The whole body is like a string, all thoughts are about one thing. This attitude to the problem exacerbates mental and physical discomfort.

Make it a rule to give yourself the opportunity to rest. Let the day off be a real rest from all problems. This will give the necessary energy to solve troubling problems.

Recurring actions:

tapping fingers, shaking the leg, walking back and forth. This is a natural reaction of a person to emotional stress, so he tries to restore balance and calm down.

Help yourself with similar repetitive actions: you can walk up and down the stairs, sort out the rosary, knit.

Even chewing gum gives a good effect, chewing movements activate cerebral circulation, which increases resistance to a stressful situation.

The state of nervousness is not alien to every person, especially given the high pace of life and the huge amount of information flows. Under such conditions, even minor failures can lead to depression, apathy and other nervous disorders. In order to stop experiencing with or without it, you need to learn to control your emotions. There are certain ways to help calm down and stop being nervous.

Causes of nervousness.

The state of anxiety and mental anguish can be triggered by various circumstances. Each person has different values, and for this reason, different situations can throw him off balance. Often, a person himself inflames the situation, giving excessive significance to things that are not worth it. Reasons for anxiety can be:

• Dangerous situations that pose a threat to health or life;
• Fear of failure or, in fact, failure itself;
• Fear of appearing inappropriate in front of others;
• in anticipation of important events;
• Excitement due to conflicts, household trifles.

The emergence of moral discomfort under any stress factor is not a physiological process, it is a psychological setting. From a physiological point of view, nervousness is associated with the properties of the nervous system, and from a psychological point of view, with personality traits. Thus, the disposition to be nervous is not a natural reaction to stress, but the reaction of a particular person to what is happening.

How to stop being nervous?

Thanks to hard work on oneself, it is possible to overcome the state of nervousness. Here are some ways to help control your emotions:

1. Avoiding or eliminating stress.

If you know that a particular situation causes you bouts of excitement and negative emotions, then, if possible, you should avoid them in advance. If the situation arose spontaneously, then try to find an opportunity to eliminate it. However, not all problems can be "run away". This method is suitable if you are upset by a movie, communication with a new acquaintance, news on a social network - close the movie, leave the meeting, log out of the network.

2. Distraction.

If it is impossible to use the method of avoiding negativity, this method will be appropriate. If you are forced to be in an environment that makes you nervous, it is worth trying distraction techniques. A good option is a mental distraction - to think about something of your own, but a visual distraction works even better - contemplation on something extraneous. This strategy is suitable for meetings, travel in transport.

3. Drinking water.

A simple yet scientifically proven way. A glass of water, drunk without haste, is able to start the mechanism of self-rehabilitation of the body. The method is relevant in any situation.

4. Passion for an interesting thing.

The method is suitable if you cannot “let go” of the problem, if it torments and unnerves you again and again. The techniques can be: reading a fascinating book, knitting, drawing, computer games, outdoor activities. You should be interested in some kind of intrigue, courage, the rapid development of events. In pursuit of new sensations, it is important to follow the rule - do not harm anyone else.

5. Water procedures.

Water is a healing agent for improving the psycho-emotional state. Water, both literally and figuratively, washes away all the “dirt”. As techniques, you can use: taking a bath or shower (can be combined with music therapy and light therapy), visiting a sauna or bath, swimming in a river / reservoir / sea. Even the usual washing of dishes will help to distract and benefit in the form of directly clean dishes and normalization of the state of mind.

6. Physical discharge.

This method physiologically causes physical relaxation and, as a result, moral relief. Among the effective methods are: long walks in the fresh air, dancing, general cleaning, gardening, sports training, destruction of old things.

7. Intimacy.

Sex is a great remedy for blues. Ideally, sexual contact should take place with a loved one, but other options are also acceptable. The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and do not forget about the means of protection, otherwise the stress that you can experience after passing a pregnancy test will overshadow all other efforts.

8. Comparison.

It is enough to compare your situation with a worse scenario. This method teaches you to appreciate what you have and to realize that your situation is not worth such nerves. An effective method can be called for minor problems that are not related to health and a significant decrease in the quality of life.

9. Positive outlook.

The stressful event should be evaluated in a positive way. That is, you need to find the pluses in the fact that this happened. Maybe, thanks to this, you will get much more and pleasant events await you.

10. Laughter and tears.

These two opposite phenomena can bring moral relief. Although their interweaving is also possible: laughter to tears, crying to laughter. Making fun of the problem itself or laughing at something else will lift your spirits and help you move away from anxiety faster. Crying, moreover, the stronger, the better, relieves stress. Although in the process of sobbing it seems to you that relief is still far away, a new wave of emotions may flood you, but at the end of the hysteria, you will definitely feel better. With tears, toxic substances that were formed during stress leave the body.

11. Account.

The standard method of counting to 10 will help normalize breathing and control the surge of negative emotions. The method is suitable for athletes, and in situations where you want to avoid conflict.

12. Work.

Passion for your duties at work, additional tasks are very appropriate if you need to distract yourself from the problem. This method is suitable for long-term stress.

13. Verbalization.

Keeping a personal diary that you trust in all moments of your life. Not everyone will like this method, but systematically writing down your thoughts on paper will help you get through unpleasant moments faster.

14. Communication with friends.

It is not necessary to speak out on a disturbing topic, especially if it is not significant. It is better not to remember the unpleasant incident once again, but simply to communicate and enjoy it. But, as an option, discussing your problem is also acceptable. Friends will listen, it may be important for you, and they can advise something else.

What methods are best not to resort to?

There is a group of ways that have only an apparent positive effect on the fight against nervousness:

• drinking coffee
• "Jamming" problems
• Smoking
• Drinking alcohol
• Admission of narcotic substances

Perhaps these methods will help to survive stress, but their use, especially in large quantities, brings great harm to health and, ultimately, to the whole life of a person. Therefore, the harm far outweighs the benefit.

It is very important to learn to live without burdening yourself with worries about trifles. Your health depends on this useful skill, since frequent nervous breakdowns can lead to its deterioration.

Reading time: 5 min

How to stop being nervous? Rather, it’s worth figuring out not how to stop worrying at all, turning into an insensitive mummy, but how to stop being nervous about every occasion, strengthening your nerves and minimizing energy costs. Everyone chooses their own way, someone tries to heroically solve an endless stream of problems, and someone pretends that it is not his eye that is already twitching. But the beauty is that no matter how much you hide from nervous and problematic situations, no matter how much you make fun of them, this will give a temporary effect of relief without solving the main task of eliminating the root cause.

Meanwhile, he continues to worry about unresolved issues, i.e. background anxiety remains, and a lump of problems grows, and when the strength to pretend ends, a person is faced with the scale of the tragedy, which makes one no longer nervous, but fall into. The desire to resolve all annoying issues is more effective, but the problems do not end there and issues that require intervention arise daily, not to mention annoying factors and people.

How to Stop Worrying and Become Calm

For some people, the question of how to stop being nervous and worried is the most relevant in the living space, usually for such individuals all things are important and urgent, the future is filled with worries, because it is unknown, and there is not enough time in the present. Constant anxiety does not provide an opportunity for relaxation, because when one problem is solved, another one immediately appears, and calm corners, where no one would ruffle the nerves, ended.

It is a long and hard work to determine with your system of priority goals in order to solve problems that are important now (i.e. if the cutlets are burned, then take care of saving the rest of the meat and airing the kitchen, and not about the quarterly report, the nerves about which and led to the burnt cutlets). Thinking about the past shouldn't take long either, especially negative experiences where you scroll through the conversation and pick up new answers if these are situations where you keep getting nervous about your reputation - all of which spins the nervous system, leading to its instability. At the same time, you cannot change these events, but you still have time to harm what is happening in the present moment with your semi-absent state and bad mood, triggering the reasons for experiences in a circle. So the conscious presence in the present moment of one's life is the key to an adequate and full-fledged sense of life, removing unnecessary empty experiences regarding unchanging things or possible, but not occurred events.

To figure out how to stop being nervous and worried, you should understand the mechanism of the emergence of such a worldview. Usually, a person’s habit of winding up his negative emotional state, exaggerating the significance of minor troubles, is behind the increased. To become calmer, you will have to not just swallow tranquilizers, but to carry out serious intrapersonal transformations that require both external changes in lifestyle and internal ones, affecting the motivational sphere and the ability to concentrate, to determine what is important.

For peace of mind, it is necessary to eliminate the causes of anxiety, and they cannot always be expressed by external factors in the form of annoying neighbors or constant incidents at work, since this happens in everyone's life. Rather, we are talking about the presence of internal factors that contribute to the perception of the situation overly emotionally, giving it excessive significance and not letting go over time. Among the qualities that contribute to the development of nervousness, there are, which, on the one hand, implies the importance of only one's own opinion, and it would seem that it should free a person from experiences, but everything turns out to be the opposite, since one's own significance is too high and requires constant nourishment and admiration of the outside world. An egocentric person is not sensitive to others, but is extremely vulnerable to criticism in his own address, add here increased attention to the reaction of others and get a manic obsession, which can cause serious feelings due to the sidelong glance of an unfamiliar passerby.

The need to always be on top gives rise to a constantly elevated level of anxiety and tension, which leads to irritation at the smallest occasions and an overly sensitive attitude even to those moments that the average person would not care about, such as the rudeness of the seller or the insult from the drunk. Somewhere next to egocentrism lies the need for constant pleasure and pleasure, while everyday affairs, work, obstacles to pleasure cause excessive irritation, and a person does not calm down until he reaches the desired nirvana. The aspiration is good and inherent in absolutely all people, but it is unattainable a priori, because. life is not a beautiful picture of the Garden of Eden, but also consists of necessity and pain, of the need to endure and postpone pleasure. If you do not learn such qualities, then the world can seem very cruel and cause a lot of resistance - reactions quite similar to adolescence, when the universe stops revolving around his desires, but makes him earn what he wants.

If the first two reasons are a product, then from the characteristics of a more mature structure that interferes with living in peace, independence is also in the lead. Perfectionism makes a person strive for the impossible, perfecting every detail (this is how not only leaves, but also dust can be swept out in the yard, a sweater can be tied up ten times, and a table for passing a diploma can be measured to the nearest millimeter). In addition, such exactingness is distributed not only to one's own life, but also to the actions of others, causing a lot of irritation.

The requirement for perfection in everything gives rise to a lot of reasons for experiences, groundless and not leading to a result, so lowering the requirements and increasing the ability to enjoy what is happening and the imperfect world can bring more peace to the life of a perfectionist. Independence, as a factor causing nervous experiences, manifests itself in its extreme forms, when a person cannot delegate duties and pulls everything on himself. From such a state of overload, even trifles begin to annoy, and to more free acquaintances, a negative attitude towards others and the desire to prove one's coolness by overcoming everything on one's own will warm up.

The second manifestation of independence, as a factor that disturbs inner peace, is the independence of the opinion and structure of one’s personality and life from social norms, in such cases any clash with rules that cannot be explained logically (for example, why it is necessary to come to work at eight and sit until five, if you can arrive at ten and leave at four, having completed the same volume, but with better quality due to better health). Such people need to either develop their own life systems, going into private practice and freelancing, surrounding themselves with like-minded people, or trying to find the advantages of the established system, which still cannot be broken.

Attempts to do everything as quickly as possible, to solve all the problems in one day are commendable, but they meet many obstacles in the form of the leisurely participation of the people involved, the closed doors of the necessary structures and the slowly moving escalator stairs. If your speed is higher than others, then you can be nervous while rushing them endlessly, it is better to try doing other things while you are waiting: if you are sitting in line, then instead of psychos and nervous comments towards the recipient, you can take care of your mail, watch a training video or write the necessary article. Keep track of the time that you are nervous, because in fact you cannot change the situation and use it in another useful way.

How to stop being nervous over trifles

Not without worries. They make us alive, show the significance of not only positive events, but also indicate problems, perform all sorts of useful functions, but how to stop being nervous about every occasion that is not significant, making you worth thinking about. Ignore such a state, suppress bouts of irritation or wait for the best streak to come, if it happens for a long time, then negative consequences will appear in the form of accumulation and growth of tension to a state when it is ready to splash out at the slightest provocation in an inadequately destructive manifestation. It’s great if you can find useful moments even in dirty tricks and turn minor troubles into positive signs (for example, if you are stuck in an elevator, you can rejoice at a good reason to be late for work and take a nap while you are freed from metal captivity). The ability to see the positive is invested from the ability to accept both good personal qualities and ongoing events, as well as bad ones. And the desire to manifest only approved traits and adjust everything that happens to the ideal option often makes you concentrate on the negative. If it is critical for you that everything goes perfectly, then you will control the course of all events and especially opportunities not according to the script, the number of things that require your participation, experience and control will increase. It all resembles a self-fulfilling prophecy, because worrying about the ideality of what is happening, you overload yourself with responsibility and nervousness so much that the chances of making a mistake increase.

Try to relax and be able to accept imperfections. Both in the manifestation of your individuality and in the world, such an attitude relieves you of unnecessary tension and worries, and automatically improves the situation, and even if it does not improve, it does not ruin your mood and health. In the end, it is much more important to remain calm than equally tied bows, respecting the time frame to the second and matching the appearance to the latest trends in Milan.

For minor reasons, nerves give out problems in the mood and stability of the nervous system, and if you do not work to improve its condition, then you can remove irritating factors indefinitely, but this still will not help stabilize the emotional background, since the problem is inside the body. To reduce the load on the central nervous system, it is worth temporarily eliminating or minimizing the consumption of substances that have a stimulating effect on it (caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, narcotic substances, some hormones), instead, it is worth introducing into the diet a greater intake of B vitamins, which are responsible for the good functioning of neurons. connections and conduction of nerve pathways. During periods of nervous overstrain and stress, you should definitely support your central nervous system with the help of appropriate vitamin complexes or herbal decoctions. Provide yourself with a productive and useful rest, not only during the vacation period. Let there be one day a week completely free from working moments, you can even turn off the phone so that they can’t find you and pull you out, putting pressure on your sense of responsibility. Quality sleep is the basis for the restoration of neural pathways, and switching activities contributes to real rest.

If you spent the whole day behind the monitor, came home and stared at the tablet - this will not be a reboot for your nerves, you'd better take a walk or go to the gym. If your work is connected with physical activity, then on the contrary, it is better to spend the evening at the cinema, reading a book or quietly chatting with your family. Follow the daily routine so that your psyche is ready for the fact that in a certain period it will have to work at full capacity, but then it will get its rest at the designated time - unsystematicness leads to disruption and destabilization of the psyche.

If you notice that having established your own life, providing the nervous system with decent conditions, nothing has changed in your nervousness, then contact a psychologist who may determine the development of neurosis (which happens if you pretend that everything is fine for a long time) or help identify the true cause problems (perhaps you are oppressed by relations with your spouse, then how many vitamin complexes do not drink, his presence will irritate and provoke malfunctions in the nervous system and only the termination or restructuring of relations will help here).

How to stop being nervous and worried

You can stop worrying by limiting your obsession with situations and work, of course, you should anticipate various options for the development of the situation and take into account bad outcomes, but this does not mean that all thoughts should be devoted only to this. Weakening the reserve of the nervous system with worries about the future or inventing various versions of the past will not help get rid of worries. During anxiety, one should take care of the present situation, instead of anticipating future events. Learn to stop your thought flow and narrow the area of ​​perception to the present moment in those moments when experiences cover, so you can direct the energy that has risen in a constructive direction, instead of exhausting your nerves. It helps not to worry about future troubles by saying (perhaps even mentally) what is happening at the moment (you chew an apple, cross the road, make coffee - even the most ridiculous thing said out loud brings you back to the present).

By analyzing about possible failures, and then looking at the number of realized ones, you will get a conclusion about your good imagination. Most of all the horrors drawn by our anxiety never come true, but the nerves about this are quite real, they affect the general resource of the nervous system and the quality of the health of the whole organism. If, however, it is not possible to drive away thoughts about possible failures, then you can always change their course and instead of spinning the plot up to the script of a horror movie, start thinking about ways to solve problems that arise, even better - look for the benefits that you can derive from what happened. Knowing how to handle the situation, it becomes not a problem for us, but only a certain stage, and if we see a certain benefit in this for ourselves, then fear and worries about its occurrence finally leave the emotional sphere.

Take a break from focusing on complex or problematic issues for a long time by trying to walk more, saturate the body with oxygen, play with pets (this activity, by the way, relieves stress perfectly). You can play a game or meet with friends, attend an interesting event and add a little adrenaline to your life (this hormone also helps fight stress, removes panic and from a state of effective activity, and is also able to reboot the brain and give a new vision).

If you are often nervous and worried, then add movement in the form of exercise or fitness, jogging or a subscription to the pool - it's all about your preferences. In addition to helping to process various heavy ones, physical activity contributes to the production of endorphins, which ultimately helps to see the world in less dark colors, and, accordingly, worry less.

Aromatherapy and are excellent helpers to stabilize the nerves. There are special blends of smells that have a relaxing and calming effect, as well as works that affect your emotional state and entire collections of them. All this can be found in the nearest pharmacy and downloaded to your player, the only thing is that it will take time for the onset of a tangible effect. Therefore, try to make the sessions regular, especially well combined with other types of care for your nerves, for example, doing meditative practices with appropriate relaxing music in a room filled with aromatherapy smells. In situations where the nerves are completely on edge or for a long time under the test of circumstances, if you cease to control your emotional outbursts and you can scream or cry unexpectedly for yourself, it makes sense to drink sedatives. They, from harmless valerian to serious tranquilizers, should be prescribed by a doctor, taking into account all the characteristics of your body, since most of them also affect the heart, the speed of reactions, may be contraindicated or even need antidepressants. In addition, a specialist can recommend working with a psychologist to resolve situations that led to a similar condition and even write out a sick leave to restore the nervous system.

How to Stop Worrying and Learn to Enjoy Life

Nerves in a shattered state can seriously ruin your life, so it’s worth slightly adjusting your daily activities so that there is a place for unloading from accumulated stress, and, accordingly, the opportunity to look at the world positively. Be sure to try to take a daily walk, jogging after the bus, being late for work, does not count - you should have time during which you will be able to settle down the experiences received during the day and reflect. Let it be a return from work through the park or an evening walk along a nearby pond.

Take care of clearing the emotional blockages in which old grievances and accusations lie, unspoken words and children's complexes - all this is hard and takes a lot of time, and the efforts of the spirit are colossal, because the experiences there are far from wonderful, but after cleansing and freeing yourself from such a burden, you can feel , as there are more reasons for joy, and fewer things will cause a strong emotional reaction. Tune in to a positive perception of yourself and instead of constant criticism, let the inner voice speak encouraging speeches. Take care of your own life, protecting its happiness, because only you know what can make you happy. Of course, you want your loved ones to guess what can make you happy, but the more you silently wait for this, shifting the responsibility for your happiness to others, the more claims accumulate against them, the more they begin to irritate their smiles.

Leave the rush and the desire to do everything perfectly, instead, you can learn time management techniques and the ability to see beauty in flaws, because it is in them that uniqueness is hidden, and everything that is perfect is stereotyped and similar to each other. Avoid excessive workload, after work you should have strength for hobbies and friends, for your development and gaining new experience. To do this, learn to ask for help without fear that your reputation will suffer, rather, on the contrary, people will treat you warmer, besides, many want to be useful and love to help.

Fill your day with positive: you can communicate more with and reduce communication with, exclude people who escalate the situation, making you nervous. Do unusual and funny things on ordinary and identical days, share it with others, you can even set yourself the goal of becoming as funny as possible, then the mood will be wonderful and what previously made you nervous will become just an excuse for another joke.

Do what you love - it is always a source of comfort and new life resources. Practice as a matter of principle, no matter what happens, and you will notice that by introducing this rule, all the nerves and worries will remain outside the doors of the workshop, dance class, laboratory, whatever you like.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters is that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

• Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
• You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
• Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
• If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
• You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
• You are prone to bad habits: alcohol, as you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

• Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
• You can get rid of it by working on yourself
• In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself, all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

By the way subscribe to my instagram at the link below. Regular useful posts about self-development, meditation, psychology and getting rid of anxiety and panic attacks.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

• inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
• hold your breath 2 counts/beats
• exhale for 4 counts/beats
• hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle of feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't have to try to impress in every possible way, you will impress if you do it right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less stressed in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

• Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
• Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.
Diaphragmatic breathing during a panic attack

When you are ready to emotionally "explode", sometimes even for insignificant reasons, this indicates that you as a whole, regardless of specific people, situations, events, are too overwhelmed from the inside with negative or strong emotions. Events have happened / are happening to you that are very difficult for you to cope with, perhaps you are in anxious expectation of them. This tension accumulates for a certain period, and then an acceptable limit sets in, when it is no longer possible to endure. Inside your awareness there are many mental barriers, prohibitions, stereotypes that interfere with normal adaptation processes. This is the result of the peculiarities of the functioning of your nervous system, but also in many respects good breeding, restraint, and now almost any situation can become the starting point of an emotionally negative outburst. The accumulated emotions must be realized, they cannot be kept inside. Your body struggles with the load so much, your brain (a unique structure that reacts to everything that happens to the body and nerves) does not allow you to receive even more information, it simply protects itself and you in this way from overload, dumping the excess anywhere. I think it will be interesting for you to know that aggression is a property inherent in every person, like internal energy. It is also a way of self-defense, a form of response to internal conflict, tension, stress, physical and mental discomfort. This is also behavior aimed at destruction, causing harm, including to oneself. You probably know something about its negative aspects even from your own experience. But there is nothing unambiguous, absolutely good or bad in anything - neither in phenomena, nor in events, nor in people, a coin always has 2 sides. Aggression also has its own positive: it allows you to protect yourself, your opinion, and sometimes life. However, its excessive amount indicates the presence of problems in the organization of your entire life as a whole. Think about your health: physical and mental health are closely related, interdependent, interpenetrating. Everything that happens to our body and psyche is interdependent and is a reflection of our thoughts, experiences, emotions, desires and prohibitions to experience them, the degree of satisfaction of needs. You just need to simply listen to your body, it is an amazing self-regulating system. Yours chose just such a way to show that some problem has not been solved, everything is only accumulating, you are not resting properly (not only physically), probably, you are not observing any optimal sleep and wakefulness regimen, you are not getting enough pleasure, in general, you have been behaving with him in the wrong way lately, to attract your attention and respect for him (the body), to regret it. So try to analyze your life, all its spheres and find the problem that your body is resisting: what worries you, what is happening right now or happened some time ago that triggered such a defense mechanism of your psyche that interferes with your happy attitude. If you can’t cope on your own - contact us, I’m always glad to help you understand yourself, understand yourself, the situation, find ways out. You need to improve your emotional sphere: emotions, like a snowball, capture the whole life around: you will experience positive or negative ones - both will color life in the appropriate tones, the choice is yours. Feeling any emotions is normal, but you need to find acceptable ways to drop aggression, direct this energy in a constructive direction, this is the main “key” for you now, first of all. Methods for self-decision, self-regulation: the elementary and simplest include physical exercises, breathing techniques. Another way is to write on a piece of paper everything that you don’t like, angers, upsets, worries, in terms of the past, as well as everything in the present - relationships, the current situation, work, person, yourself and break this leaf, destroy it with other active emotional way, so you will also get rid of the very image of the problem, plus discard the negative. You can scream, break something that is not a pity, beat a pillow, a pear in the gym, or get rid of surging emotions by others in a moderately destructive way (only carefully so that others do not get it). Only you need to do all this systematically, believing, systematically, then the result will come. Think about it. Regardless of what happens, all the problems are actually only inside us: we create them ourselves, believe, and then heroically overcome them. The source of everything that happens to us, as well as the forces of helping ourselves, is always within us. Think about your lifestyle. You are now clearly lacking a positive start. You do not allow yourself much, thereby depriving yourself of positive emotions. There is little joy from the phenomena of the surrounding world, a pleasant surprise, a feeling of delight from events, satisfaction from one's physical, intellectual, professional capabilities. Start to improve yourself and create everything around you the way you want, you have every right to do so. You don’t owe anything to anyone, you don’t have to feel unhappy to please someone. Believe in yourself, you deserve all the best, to be happy, loved, without doing anything specifically for this, without deserving, you can do everything yourself and achieve what you want, you are good, and if someone tries to prove the opposite to you, offend you, know that that these are only deep inner problems of this person himself, do not allow for a moment to doubt your own worth. Keep your personal integrity, do not let the feeling of happiness and fullness of life depend on the presence / absence of another person, his opinion, behavior. Only those who are filled with positive emotions from the inside (what are you, your life filled with?) can not react too emotionally, have an occupation in life that consistently pleases and brings pleasure - find this, create an inner "island of happiness" that does not depend on anyone. Relax and rest, if there is no suitable uninhabited island nearby, then preferably at least in nature, in the forest, away from people, phones, computers and other means of communication, so that at this time there is no rough interference from the side in your nervous system. Try to find harmony with yourself, understand, feel yourself, realize and accept completely. Believe me, everything will fall into place as soon as you start treating yourself with care and respect. Each person chooses whether to be happy or unhappy - allow yourself to be whatever you want. Everything will be fine for you. Write to the chat if my point of view seemed rational to you, I will be happy to help you understand yourself and the situation, find solutions, it's time for you to do this, a lot has accumulated. Good luck, love and harmony with yourself. I would be grateful for the answer.

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