Regular failures in the love field and a prolonged lack of career growth, sad news about the loss of a loved one and oppressive loneliness are the prerequisites for the occurrence of severe pain in the bowels of the soul. Such a phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or mixture. The consciousness of a person who is in depression acquires a coma.
It will not be possible to diagnose the problem that has appeared, because no medicines have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Soothing capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the current situation, harming the consciousness damaged by grief and feelings. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the best way to bring a loved one back to a fulfilling life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of?
Mental pain appears in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you set yourself up in advance for various options for the development of the situation, then it will be much easier to realize a fait accompli
How to deal with emotional pain: a step-by-step guide to action
To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who correctly diagnoses the cause of spiritual experiences by offering his own method of healing. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of severe pain, which every minute absorbs the consciousness of a person. Most importantly, follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:
- Find the cause of the emotional pain.
- Do not deny the existence of depression by accepting past events as an element of the past.
- Realize the magnitude of the situation.
- Decide on the consequences by projecting the most "terrible" picture of events.
- Compare the results obtained with the scale of the situation. Are the realities not so harsh?
- Change the familiar environment, gradually arousing interest in life in the mind.
- Get rid of the reminders of the past event by “opening” a new page of your own being.
- Enjoy the positive moments while avoiding the negative ones.
- Learn to live in a new format, becoming happy.
It is difficult only with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with the damaged consciousness of a close friend and lover, you will have to be around regularly, restoring the lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred for the events that have happened. Do not transfer this spectrum of emotions to yourself, because your loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.
If you regularly train emotional stability, you can prevent the occurrence of mental pain. Rational perception of past events is a reliable base for a balanced and invulnerable person
Options for solving the problem at different ages
If you want to help a loved one get rid of mental pain, be sure to consider his age. At different intervals of life, the worldview of people has a distinct similarity, so the methods for solving the problem are identical:
- Age 5–10 years.
In children, spiritual experiences arise because of the unfulfilled promises of parents who did not fulfill the cherished dream of the child. Encouraging such a format of behavior is an inappropriate decision by adults, but you need to help the baby during such a period. To "free" the consciousness of the offspring from, an unplanned trip to the amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer who is exploring the world a portion of ice cream or a new toy - most importantly, a moment of surprise that causes positive emotions in the child.
- Age 10–18 years.
In such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. that take possession of the mind of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from being realized in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of a person who is in adolescence to an exciting activity. A new social circle will allow a teenager to painlessly survive a depressive state.
- Age 18–30 years.
To restore emotional balance, you need to regularly be near an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after a failed love relationship that ended in divorce. Discord in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the experiences are varied. However, the method of treatment is invariably the same - heart-to-heart talks and a reliable "shoulder" of support.
In an attempt to help, do not become a "hostage" of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You should listen, giving him the opportunity to speak out, but disagree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your loyalty by restoring your loved one's faith in people and a brighter future.
Instruction
The first thing you want to do is forget everything and run away. But the way to "buy a ticket to the sea or a ticket to the village to see your grandmother" is far from the best. It will only give immediate results. And then you still need to return home to the real world. And then pain will only get sharper. Everything in the usual life will remind you of pain - the memory was muffled for a short time. And upon her return, she will again take possession of the heart.
To get rid of pain, you need to name its cause. Speak clearly out loud. Or write. The main thing is to realize. Maybe this will require an interlocutor - it can be a best friend or a psychologist. If a pain caused by the loss of a loved one, you need to figure out what hurts in care pain six of all? It could be fear or guilt. If a loved one left, you need to understand what really happened as a result of his departure: confidence in the future is lost or self-esteem is wounded.
Now you can begin to get rid of what reminds you of the cause of the heartache. Temporarily remove or throw out photographs and things of the person who is the source of pain. Or communicate less with him if he is still present. If the source of mental pain is, then do not read articles on professional topics, avoid communicating with colleagues.
When the reason is named and realized, there is nothing that can remind of it, and the emptiness in life is filled with a favorite pastime, you can say: "I am starting a new life in which there is no place for mental pain." And start enjoying every day. Look for a supply for this. It can be a favorite heard on the radio, a conversation with a loved one, a chocolate bar eaten at night, a walk in the rain barefoot and without an umbrella, buying a new dress or tie. There are many reasons for joy. There are many pain more than a reason to be sad! And every new day is a powerful pill against mental pain.
Helpful advice
Do not expect instant results, and do not mistake the first relief for recovery.
With physical pain, everything is simple: there are painkillers, there are also doctors. But what if the soul hurts?
Instruction
There can be many reasons for mental pain. We take offense, engage in self-criticism, worry about relatives and friends, face rudeness and betrayal - and all this body reacts with a sharp, penetrating pain, hotly spreading through all tissues, aching, piercing, from which you want to scream. It seems that it is impossible to appease it, only after a while the pain will dull a little and it will be possible to forget about it for periods.
In fact, you can deal with mental pain. Oddly enough, but the usual painkiller that we take for headaches, for example, can help. If there is no strength to endure, then you can drink an anesthetic tablet and a mild sedative, for example, motherwort or valerian. If possible, wrap yourself in a blanket, drink herbal tea (chamomile, mint, sage, raspberry leaves, strawberry tails - your choice, which is more to your taste) and sleep. Sleep is good medicine.
This is not a panacea, and the pain, of course, will not go away so immediately, with a click, but it will make it possible to soberly assess the situation. Unfortunately or fortunately, we cannot explain the motives of other people's actions. Therefore, there is no need to try. Don't get hung up. Yes, an event happened that we took to heart, wounded, offended by a loved one or our own unworthy act haunts. But the situation has already developed that way. And you have to accept her for who she is. Don't look for reasons or blame.
Accept the pain and let it be, cry if you want, do not hold back the tears. "After despair comes peace," said the great Anna Akhmatova. Try it, it will get easier.
When a void forms, it requires immediate filling - such is the law of physics. An evening with friends, a holiday in honor of a good day, arranged with the children, no matter how trite it sounds - shopping, even without leaving home, will help to distract and enjoy.
Draw, sculpt, bake pies, cook soup, shoot, go to the forest for a week, in company, with tents, visit a theater or an exhibition - ask yourself what you want right now. Tell about the pain, even if it is a piece of paper - take a pen and write what you feel.
And do not expect that everything will pass soon - spiritual wounds heal for a long time. Just remember that life is wonderful, no matter what happens in it. There is always a way. If, despite all efforts, the pain is still unbearable, you can seek help from a specialist - a good psychologist will give advice that suits a particular person in a particular situation.
head pain may be a symptom of a serious illness or the result of fatigue and stress. You can improve your well-being with the help of pills, herbal preparations and alternative medicine.
Instruction
Determine the nature and cause of the headache. If the problem is overstrain, or fatigue, you can try to heal on your own. If the painful condition is accompanied by nausea and vomiting, persists for three days or more, or was the result of a head injury (including concussion), you should consult a doctor.
Try to relax, lie on your back, create a twilight in the room and open the window, providing fresh air. If possible, try to be quiet for at least a few hours. Massage the temporo-parietal part of the head with light circular movements, gently go through the hair with a massage brush.
If the pain is not severe, try to do without drugs. They have mass, cause and act short-term, albeit quickly. Also do not take (you can rinse your mouth with cognac without swallowing it if you know that the headache has developed against the background of pressure) and do not smoke. If you are hypotonic, drink a cup of coffee, if not - herbal tea with valerian, sage or peppermint.
Use proven methods. Apply a peel of lemon to the right temple and hold until the skin burns slightly. Or attach a gauze bag with rye bread soaked in table vinegar to the sore spot. Drink a glass of warm milk with a quarter teaspoon of soda mixed in it. Ordinary black tea is also a proven remedy for relieving headaches: you need to brew it, stir a teaspoon of sugar in a glass and drink it slowly, then go to bed. If from overvoltage, mint can be added to tea.
Take a bath with aroma oils of lavender, mint, pine, sage, eucalyptus, wormwood, chamomile. Mix four to eight drops of one of these oils with a tablespoon of olive oil or milk and pour into cool bath water. If a bath is not available or contraindicated for you, drop essential oil on a cloth and apply it to your temples for a minute, or simply make a cold compress on your head.
Use the acupressure technique: with a certain skill, they can relieve a headache in a matter of minutes. On the left hand, find a point between the widely separated thumb and forefinger, straight ahead, and for thirty seconds squeeze this place with the help of two fingers of the right hand.
Sources:
- Headaches in 2019
When you experience physical pain, the way out is obvious - you turn to someone who prescribes the necessary treatment for you, and the discomfort recedes. Much more difficult is the case with the pain of the soul. People rarely turn to a psychotherapist in moments of despair, but more and more often they try to drown out their feelings on their own.
Instruction
Most people try to drown out mental anguish with the help of alcohol. It might help if you spend one evening with your best friend drinking wine and discussing your problem. The next morning after intimate conversations, you should feel better. However, if you carry out such “treatment” regularly, another problem will be added to your problem - the problem of alcoholism.
Go in for sports. During classes, endorphin is produced - the hormone of joy, and rhythmic repetitive actions help to distract from experiences. In addition, after regular training, you will improve your figure, which will also cheer you up.
Change the environment. Take a vacation and go to the resort where you have long dreamed of visiting. If you do not have such an opportunity, go for the weekend to another city. Do everything to get new experiences that will drown out the pain and distract you.
We all know well and often recall the comforting joke that if the head hurts, it means that it is. The same could be said about the soul. Moreover, unfortunately, the converse statement is also true in relation to the soul: the soul, if it exists, at least from time to time necessarily hurts. For loved ones or from their own sorrows, long and quiet or strong and piercing. Is it possible to identify mental pain with the recently fashionable diagnosis of "depression"? Yes and no. On the one hand, psychologists are really engaged in the restoration of subtle spiritual harmony, whose field of activity even bears the middle name of soul-searching. On the other hand, long before the advent of this area of science and medicine, with mental pain, people turned to clergy and simply wise people. And all because the soul is such a special part of each of us, not so much the body as the personality. And even when it clearly hurts, it is impossible to touch, stroke and “operate” on it.
Therefore, it is necessary to stroke and heal the soul in other, more subtle and more complex ways. And very personal. After all, just as there are no two identical souls, there cannot be equally effective “medicines” for them. And even each new pain requires a new careful and individual approach. “In this case, is there any point in the existence of the corresponding science, since there can be no standard methods in principle ?!” - you might be surprised. We answer: maybe. Because for all our originality, we are all people, we walk the same land, breathe the same air and worry about similar things. Therefore, psychologists are both needed and important. But it is possible that in this or that situation a frank confession or a sincere conversation with a close friend will bring much more benefit than a whole course of psychotherapeutic sessions. Here is how to find your personal way and how to get rid of mental pain without additional moral wounds, we will try to figure it out today. And, if you don’t give definitive answers, then at least find that thread that you can pull to unravel the heavy tangle that has shrunk in your soul.
What hurts during heartache
Soul - does it even exist? Or is it just an imaginary, completely ephemeral substance, invented long before the advent of modern scientific possibilities to explain processes incomprehensible to our distant ancestors? But how then can something that does not exist experience such obvious painful sensations and cause severe suffering! To answer this question, one will have to look at pain (any - external and internal, physical and mental) not as an unconditional evil, but as a kind of mechanism created by nature with a reasonable purpose. This purpose is to give us a signal that something has gone wrong - in the body, in the thoughts or in the life. This failure may be very small and imperceptible at first, but if it remains ignored, it gradually turns into vague anxiety, anxiety, then fear. Fear gives rise to heavy thoughts, and they, in turn, stir the soul, squeezing it and making it hurt.
At different times, people were looking for (and found!) Different means of getting rid of mental pain. First, in the church, which saw the cause of heartache in sin and prayed for its remission. Later - at a reception with psychologists who materialistically deny the existence of the soul and use other tools. But the essence at the same time was and remains unchanged: an inexplicable feeling that eats a person from the inside and prevents him from enjoying life has visited everyone at least once. And, regardless of worldview, level of education, religious preferences, national and gender characteristics and sphere of activity, everyone somehow searched for their own way of deliverance. Because otherwise, mental pain can completely paralyze consciousness and deprive the meaning of life. But if you treat it as a symptom that reports some other problems, then you can and should pull yourself together in time and seek help. But to whom? With a bad tooth we go to the dentist, with a broken leg - to the traumatologist. To whom to carry the aching soul? Unfortunately, there is no unequivocal answer, as well as a professional doctor of the soul. But you can listen to yourself and become such a doctor for yourself. And a psychologist, confessor and / or a loved one in this case will help and support you on this path.
Effective treatment for mental pain
Contrary to the stereotype, waiting is not always the best cure for the soul. Time really heals, but sometimes this treatment is too long and does not exclude the possibility of relapse. Mental pain is caused by a variety of reasons, and therefore the means of deliverance are also diverse and multifaceted. But there is a certain “golden code” that can be the basis for anyone seeking to get rid of mental pain as soon as possible. To do this, several conditions must be met. In our version, there are 12 of them - because this number is considered magical or at least positive. Who knows, maybe it is the magic of the number that will partially help alleviate the mental pain. And if not, then nobody canceled the harmony of numbers, aesthetics and just the order of things. Follow it: 
- Drive away the negative. Do not keep it in yourself and do not accumulate it for hours, days, weeks ... Find a way to get rid of what is eating you from the inside, throw it out. Speak out, cry out, even scream. You can do this alone, but it is better together with a very close understanding person. Don't be afraid to stress or offend him. A truly close person will correctly understand your condition and try to alleviate it, take away some of your pain or help you release it. And even the very presence of a kindred soul will surely make your soul feel that it is not alone and can count on reliable support. If such arguments do not convince you, then listen to the statistics regularly published by psychology publications. According to her, the hushing up of the situation, endless self-digging and digging in one's own difficult thoughts only exacerbates the condition that we called mental pain. Simply put, this is a huge burden on the nervous system, which can subsequently result in not only psychological, but also physical ailments. Therefore, do not worsen your life even more, do not increase your pain, but spread it to the wind in all four directions.
- Look for the positive. A holy place is never empty, and the liberated inner space needs to be filled with something. But not just anything, but good, kind, bright and constructive. Positive emotions have a truly powerful healing power, and professional psychologists, and soul scientists "of the people", and representatives of religious cults agree with this. And all at the same time, especially looking from such different angles, cannot be mistaken. In a mentally ill state, this can be hard to believe and even harder to do. But think about the fact that everything in the world is balanced. For everything bad, there is always a good equivalent to it. Moreover, even stronger, because life goes on, which means that good always turns out to be stronger and wins. And it's up to us to help him. With its energy, its internal resources. And for this it is enough to concentrate them on positive moments - and water wears away a stone. Do not ignore even the most insignificant, but positive facts of what is happening around: the sun is shining in the morning, and it is not raining, the child brought an excellent mark in the diary, and not bad, the taxi driver did not bother with conversations on the road, but could turn out to be a terrible talker. From these tiny, but inevitable moments, the whole life is formed, day by day. These days pass, but the general emotional background remains. It is important for you, like no one else, that it be with a plus sign. But no one but you can set it up in this way.
- Forgive people that hurt you or indirectly caused your pain. When you forgive, it becomes easier, because you no longer hold the burden of resentment in yourself and do not waste your mental strength on it. But you just need to be able to forgive for real, without deceiving yourself. Find a convincing justification for the act of the offending person, or simply recognize his right to make this mistake. His act is his sin and his karma, and you acquire participation only as long as you yourself want it. Stop being a part of other people's shortcomings, forget them and leave them to their owners. Think about yourself, about your cultivation, and about not doing such things. In the end, just be nobler and wiser, imagine that your forgiveness is a gift that you bestow on the offender despite his bad behavior. This is not the best tactic for internal motivation and it smacks too much of pride, but if at first it will help you cope with resentment and forgive the offender, then it’s better to do so than not at all. Look for your own path, comprehend what happened and, perhaps, resentment will even be replaced by gratitude if you realize that the act of another person has moved something important in your life and started a chain reaction of changes. Which, as you know, in the end is always for the best.
- Ask for forgiveness, especially in the event that cats scratch at heart and through your fault too. Conscience is an insidious quality. It seems that you can negotiate with her, but then it turns out that she hid in her soul like a cold snake, wrapped her rings around her and whispers to you about what you don’t want to think about at all. And this may well cause heartache, and quite severe - depending on the strength of your guilt. Therefore, do not be afraid to "lose the crown" - ask for forgiveness from the one who is offended by you. You look and you feel better. And even better - try to correct what happened, to make amends for your guilt. How - there is no universal recipe. In some cases, the very repentance and asking for forgiveness will be entirely enough. In others, you will have to influence the current situation and restore what is still subject to restoration. You may even have to look for ways to please your victim with something unrelated to the problem and thereby rehabilitate yourself as a good person. But if you really suffer precisely from the fact that someone was deceived or offended, then such behavior should definitely save you from mental pain, so go for it.
- forgive yourself- it is very important. Sometimes, even after apologies have been received from others, one's own repentance has been made, and the former relations between people have been restored, inner peace does not come, and mental pain does not subside. As it was said in this case in an old joke: "the spoons were found, but the sediment remained." And worst of all, if this sediment remains on your own heart, because in this case, a reminder of a bad incident always remains with you, wherever you go, whatever you do. And only you can get rid of it. And in general, you are the most important and almost the only person who can heal you from mental pain. All the rest are only assistants in this operating room, ready at the right time to apply a bandage of understanding or a clamp of patience. But the chief surgeon is you. And in your hands is the scalpel with which you must mercilessly cut off your pain so that its metastases do not spread to the depths of your soul. Or not mercilessly. Have pity on yourself. Sorry and sorry. Nobody is perfect, and you are no exception. You have your right to make a mistake and the strength to admit it. This is a complete cycle of transgression, go through it and move on without looping.
- Sublimate. That is, spend your spiritual strength not on experiencing your pain, but on more pleasant and useful activities. The most affordable and successful option is creativity, absolutely any. From cross stitch to ballroom dancing. The main thing is that during creative activities you forget about your mental pain, and after them you feel filled with something new and bright instead of it. Another variant of sublimation is sports, it makes the body work, not the brain, and thus also distracts from heavy thoughts. In addition, in the process of physical exercise, the hormonal background normalizes, which positively affects the emotional state. Another option is to get a pet and take care of it, loving it with all your heart, making guardianship over it an important part of your daily life. Or just fall in love. A powerful release of endorphins into the blood is the best pain reliever for the soul. Although with severe mental pain, a new relationship may not work out. In this case, love those people who already make up your family and close circle of your friends. Find joy in serving their interests, enjoy the time spent in their company. Travel, in a company or alone, depending on your temperament and capabilities. You will see new places, strangers, whose lives may turn out to be worse than yours and make you forget about your pain as something not as significant as it seemed. All this will distract you, take time and help you fill and survive the most difficult period. Or sign up for a volunteer circle, help disadvantaged people and animals. Force yourself to be useful - perhaps this will be an occasion to make amends for your sins and, finally, get rid of your mental pain?
- Laugh. Or at least smile. And once again stretch your lips into a smile. A smile and laughter is generally the best defense against ill-wishers. And now it turns out that you yourself become an ill-wisher in relation to yourself. Do not follow this state of affairs, do not let mental pain spoil your mood, condition, life. Let everyone not become brighter from a smile, the times of naive childhood are long gone, but think: perhaps your second soft smile will warm someone and help get rid of heartache, if not for you, then for him. Everything good, done disinterestedly, is sure to return. The ancient sages said: "Do good and throw it into the water." You don't know where it will carry it, but sooner or later it will return to you or its reflection in the water surface. The earth is round. Well, if without esotericism, then positive emotions, expressed by a smile and laughter, tone up all the systems of the body, help it fight stress and normalize the state of the nervous system and the speed of reactions. Therefore, laughter therapy is a very real method of dealing with depressive states. If you don’t have the strength and desire to smile for no reason, buy a collection of jokes or watch KVN. And the Internet is generally an inexhaustible source of hilarious jokes and fresh jokes, which will not only smile, but also distract you from difficult thoughts for a long time, if you choose the right resources.
- Be mindful of the body. Forcing yourself to smile, you not only emotionally, but also physiologically affect your body. Psychosomatics is not a myth, but a very real relationship between the state of the nervous system and all other organ systems of your body. When you are in an emotionally depressed state for a long time, then eventually it begins to manifest itself not only in your mood and facial expression, but also in other, more serious symptoms. And the widespread chronic fatigue syndrome is just one, and not the most severe, of them. An internal conflict can result in asthma, gastritis, migraines and even oncology. You can compare these processes with the fact that a person “eats himself” with guilt, resentment and torment. Thus, the pain of the ephemeral soul is embodied in the very real pain of tangible organs. Such self-punishment can be unconscious and complicate life gradually, or conscious, when a person deliberately deprives himself of benefits in an effort to incur punishment for his misdeeds. In particular, anorexia is one of the manifestations of dislike for oneself, for one's soul and body. All that can be said about this is do not punish the body for the mistakes of the soul. Separate them, but keep them in harmony, and take care of the first and the second equally.
- trace connection between your heartache and the life events that preceded it. The fact is that psychosomatic manifestations sometimes “work” in the opposite direction, there is no only possible direction here. And it is possible that your mental pain has not only moral, but also physical reasons. A prerequisite for an oppressed, depressed state can be chronic diseases and developing processes in the depths of the body. You don’t even know about them yet, but they already affect his condition. Therefore, however strange this advice may seem, in order to cure mental pain, you need to cure bodily ailments. If the heart trouble does not go away for a long time and does not develop, passing through its stages, then it makes sense to consult a doctor for diagnostics, take tests and undergo basic blood, urine, etc. tests. Remember to support your mental strength with your physical strength: watch your diet, eat healthy food and stick to a meal schedule. Drink natural juices, green tea and plenty of pure water. Do not litter yourself with harmful food - and then harmful thoughts will also visit you much less frequently. Because the hygiene of the body is inextricably linked with the hygiene of the soul, this fact must be accepted and taken into account.
- rejoice Or rather, please yourself. Imagine that you are in... Small child who feels bad and lonely, and he really needs love, care and attention. Love yourself and bestow pleasant, good things. Not necessarily material, but they too. Allow yourself small but regular pleasures, and if the doubt suddenly creeps in that you are pampering yourself too much, treat them as a medicine necessary for healing the soul. Such a medicine can be a walk at lunchtime on a sunny day, and a delicious cake, despite the diet, allowed yourself with a morning cup of cappuccino. The main thing is that these compliments to yourself do not later cause regrets and remorse, because their task is to please and create a positive life background to get rid of mental pain, and not to aggravate it. Update your wardrobe, buy a long-desired accessory or shoes, get a haircut, manicure, change your image. Take care of yourself like a loved one who desperately needs support and positive emotions.
- Get rid of the anchors, especially if the heartache is caused by the loss of someone or something important to you. It can be quite difficult, but it is still necessary to find the strength in yourself and say goodbye to the past, which cannot be returned. Do not look for the guilty, do not try to change what has happened - just take it for granted and live on, but without it. Throw away, donate, or properly hide things that can become a reminder of the past. Stop deliberately mentally evoking past memories and restoring past situations in your memory. If your heartache is caused by the memory of a person who left your life of their own accord, then do not try to seek a connection with him, real or imagined. Neither calls nor meetings are able to return the past, but they hurt and intensify your pain. Even if it seems that even a fleeting contact will ease the experience - this is an illusion. In fact, you will simply tear off the fragile crust from the wound that has just begun to heal. Let pride become your support and adviser: you don’t need to reach out to a person who doesn’t need you. Those people who should be in your life will never leave you or offend you, and everyone else should leave so as not to take someone else's place in your personal world. Now it has been freed and will soon be occupied by someone truly worthy.
- accept the pain- this is the latest, most important and, perhaps, the most difficult advice. But this is the way to healing the soul: through the pain itself. Because it is an integral part of growth. Professional athletes say: “no pain - no gain”, that is, there is no development without pain. You need to constantly remind yourself that no pain goes unnoticed and always has a purpose, even if this purpose is not obvious to you now. But time will pass and, perhaps, it will turn out that it was this life test that opened understanding and doors for you to something bigger and better. Catharsis is also a kind of pain, but it is both revelation and purification. And pain is of two kinds: pain for the sake of pain and pain for the sake of creation. The second kind appears when you do not resist fate and heartache, but allow it to develop you and move you forward. This is your struggle with yourself, the struggle for a life better than now. Perhaps, as a reminder of her, a scar will remain on your soul. So let it be a reminder of your ability to survive and a symbol of your strength.
It is in an ideal world that former lovers part with a smile and promise to be friends to the grave. In reality, it can be painful to see someone who previously gave love and affection, and now put someone else's photo on your desktop. If the wounds haven't healed, allow yourself to be and don't promise to stay with your ex or former friends. At least until the moment when passions subside and spiritual wounds heal.
Unfriend on social media
The problem of modernity is that every step of a person is captured on the Internet. If you're heartbroken, turn the page and don't be friends with your exes. social networks. You don’t need to know where the ex-lover spent his vacation, with whom he went to the movies, or what gifts her new boyfriend fills up yesterday’s passion. If the hand does not rise to press the treasured button, at least exclude the news of the former from the feed. And there - time will tell.
Delete saved messages and conversations
New life - clean archives in the phone and instant messengers. No matter how sorry the past is, delete all messages in chats to avoid the temptation to re-read them in a dreary mood. Otherwise, drunken tantrums, as well as calls, for which you will be ashamed later, are provided to you. Both of you are already different people, and there is no return to the past. It's time to clear the memory.
Delete ex number
Annoying calls with attempts to explain to anyone will not bring any benefit. You will be hurt, the former will be embarrassed. Delete the numbers of ex-lovers immediately after. After a couple of months of silence on the air, you may well not want to communicate with someone you once passionately loved.
Make a change in the apartment
After a breakup, girls often want to do something with their appearance: to spite the former, cut their hair or dye their hair in a cheeky pink. Not worth it. Instead, rearrange your apartment, or at least your bedroom, so nothing reminds you of lazy Sunday mornings in bed. Can't rearrange the furniture? Buy a couple of new sets of underwear. A new chapter in life - new bedding. Guys, it won't hurt you either.
Go in for sports
Sports not only help to tighten the body, but also improve mood due to the production of endorphins. If the pain of breaking up is too strong, sign up for and beat the pear from the heart. Naturally, under the supervision of a coach.
Don't rush to meet others
Spontaneous sex with strangers has not yet cured anyone of heartache. It will only get worse. Take your time, take care of yourself, the desire to enter into a relationship will come later. Watch all the films and programs that the former half did not want to watch, go to those places where there was no time to go in the relationship. Consider yourself on a 30-day love detox.
Don't whine on social media
Take your time to let the world know how hurt you are. The pain will pass, but the sediment and the glory of the whiner will remain. Leave vague statuses, tearful poems and other vanilla things for teenagers. You are higher and stronger than this. So be it, one photo can be posted. But only the one where you are happy and satisfied with life.
Don't analyze the past
“If I had not started a quarrel”, “if I had become a blonde”, “if I had come home from work earlier” - you can continue indefinitely. Well, the train has left. What had to happen happened. Do not burden yourself and do not analyze the past. The best is yet to come.
How did you deal with breakups? Share in the comments!
They say that even stones can feel... What can we say about people? We come into this world endowed with a gentle, quivering soul, created for goodness and love, and we cannot stand it in a collision with evil and hatred. Bright and easily vulnerable, rude and almost insensitive - no matter what we are, but sooner or later each of us stumbles upon his own pain, with tenacious claws digging into his soul and tormenting it, like a merciless beast ... Or maybe with him , after all, one can never say what is more in a person’s soul - himself or that alien, terrible thing that pulls us to death.
Why does the soul hurt?The soul can "sick" for various reasons. We were betrayed, robbed, humiliated, not loved... They did not want to reckon with us. They didn't want to help us. We wanted to live carefree and happy, but we lost our homes and jobs. We dreamed of mutual love, but it turned out to be a ghostly haze. We expected joy and fun from life, but received sickness and death. Finally, we just looked around us and realized that the world is not particularly perfect: everything in it is extremely ugly and wrong, from people to states. What should we do about it? How to live? How do we deal with the pain of the heart that leaves us discouraged or (worse) desperate? And is it necessary? There is no exact answer to these questions...
Each person is individual. Each person deals with pain in their own way. As much as our physical pain thresholds differ, so differently do we endure our spiritual hardships. For someone, a glass of vodka is enough to restore peace of mind, and for someone, even a lifetime will not be enough ... One thing is for sure: whatever happens to us, it happens for something. Everything that we encounter in this life is given to us not at all for endless tears, but at least for spiritual maturation. The problem is that not everything we can endure painlessly ...
Is it possible to cope with mental pain without God?
Professional psychologists usually know how to deal with mental pain. In this case, they have in store a lot of practical and, to some extent, effective advice. Most of them offer to solve their problems by looking at them from a different point of view. But this method works exactly as long as we do not exhaust our "viewing platforms".
There are also insoluble problems (betrayal of a loved one, serious illness, death of a loved one). No matter how you look at them, for some reason it doesn’t get any easier. In such cases, psychologists advise ... to be distracted - by books, films, music, sweets, shopping, chatting with friends. A change of scenery (for example, traveling to another country), and the acquisition of a new hobby, and caring for someone who is worse off than you (for example, a stray cat without one paw) help to muffle the heartache.
The constant load of your mind with new impressions, and your body with worries, of course, has a positive effect on the psychological state of a person. It allows you to stretch the time from the moment of deepest despair to partial recovery, but then we again find ourselves in a dead end. Life has one interesting feature: if we do not learn anything the first time, we are invariably taught again. And it's far from certain that we'll be stronger later...
How do you truly deal with heartache?
No matter how wise and self-sufficient we may seem to ourselves, it is hard for us to solve our problems alone. Friends, colleagues, relatives - even the sweetest, kindest and most understanding - are not able to fill the void that strikes our soul in the most bitter period for it.
If we think logically, we generally have little idea of what our soul is, what it consists of and how it is treated. It is too different, too different from everything that we know in earthly life, too drawn to its Creator. It is impossible to approach it from the point of view of familiar things. It remains only to trust in the mercy of the Lord and his help, which invariably turns out to everyone who turns to him, because He is always “near those who call on Him” (Ps. 144, 18).
When the whole world is against you and only the railing of the bridge seems to be the only sure way out of this life, think about God. He is all that a person has. He and He alone loves us, no matter what we are: suffering or rejoicing, sick or healthy, sinful or righteous. It is always easier to be near God if you truly believe in him and hope. Reading morning and evening prayers, observing fasts, sincere confessions, regular communion, sincere prayers in the church open up for each of us a way to communicate with the Lord and give a real opportunity to cope with spiritual pain. And even if at first it doesn’t disappear anywhere, it doesn’t matter at all. It only means that we need it, right now and just like this - wild, unbearable, terrible, but given so that we finally feel our soul and bring it closer to the most valuable and useful - eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven.
