Good day, dear readers. Today you will learn how to win over people. You will learn how to learn to inspire confidence in your person. You will find out how you can position your child.

Possible ways

1. Ask for a favor. And it is recommended to ask for more than you really need. Most likely you will get rejected. Then you can ask for what you really want. The interlocutor will feel guilty for the fact that the first time he refused and is already more willing to agree to the second request. In addition, when he fulfills some request for you, he subconsciously understands that now he can ask for help himself, and next time he will definitely not refuse you.
2. When speaking, call people by their first names. The opponent will be pleased to hear how his name is pronounced, and he will treat you more confidently.
3. Flattery. This is not about feigned obvious behavior. It will be appropriate if the interlocutor has high self-esteem, then the words will be pleasant for him. It is unacceptable when dealing with people who have low self-esteem. Just keep that person away from you.
4. Mimicry. The psychology of people is arranged in such a way that they dispose themselves to those who copy their movements, facial expressions, gestures. That is, when communicating, you look as if in a mirror, so there is more confidence in such a person.
5. Observation of the speech of the interlocutor. Analyze how and on what topics he communicates, find out what interests him and what does not.
6. When meeting with a person, analyze how they treat you, what impression you make. Just do not forget to take into account the temperament of the interlocutor, how he relates to life, events of a different nature.

How to position the child

There are times when it becomes necessary to establish contact with the baby, make friends. But not everyone manages to do it. I bring to your attention options that allow you to melt the ice between you and the baby.

1. Play a board game together, put together a puzzle.
2. Draw a drawing. This will allow the child to open. He will feel that an adult is interested in his emotional experiences, will allow him to make friends faster.
3. You can tell the little one your secret, the baby will understand that you trust him, and will also begin to relate.
4. You can ask the child how he feels, if something bothers him. Perhaps the baby will immediately begin to talk about his experiences.
5. It is necessary to talk taking into account the age of the child, the style of his communication.
6. During the conversation, it is desirable to control your emotions, not to wave your arms, so as not to scare the little one.
7. When communicating, it is recommended that an adult be at the level of the child, and not look down on him.

A dispositional person achieves more, it is easier for him to live in society, it is easier to communicate.

1. Always be a good listener, so people will reach out to you. If you sincerely show concern and concern for others, listen carefully to the interlocutor - this predisposes him to your personality.
2. Try to keep yourself relaxed, do not allow crossed legs or arms, yawning while communicating with other people, look directly into the eyes, gesticulate less.
3. Show kindness, it helps to see you as a good person. Do not forget about a smile, but it is important that it is not feigned, everything should come from the heart. This way you can do it for yourself and for those around you.
4. Be punctual, people will appreciate it. They will understand that they are dealing with a responsible person, which means that they can deal with you. A person who is late shows that he does not care about anyone, he thinks only about himself.
5. To inspire trust among others, it is necessary to avoid lies, gossip, and discussions of other people. Never throw words to the wind.
6. It also predisposes people to have pets.
7. It must be borne in mind that everyone's mood can change depending on life circumstances, some factors. You need to understand that the communication of the interlocutor with you will depend on this. Often the mood gives a negative impact. If you approach a person who has some serious problems, start talking with him about your needs, ask for a request - you can even stumble upon aggression, and at least misunderstanding and refusal.
8. It is believed that people are more easily disposed to by a person from whom vanilla aroma comes. He creates associations with joy, with mother, with childhood, gives the interlocutor peace and tranquility. You can use body lotion, perfume, shampoo, lip balm, or soap that contains vanilla extract.
9. When communicating, you need to win over the interlocutor, arouse in him a sense of trust. After all, people are by nature capable of deceit and deceit, so a stranger will treat you with suspicion. It will be better if you immediately determine your circle of interests, just do it unobtrusively so that the interlocutor cannot understand it.
10. In general, there should be a smile, a positive attitude, but this should not be too much. Otherwise, such a person will get the impression of a superficial person, a hypocrite. A stranger may be mistaken for a swindler. So with the help of a smile, a good mood, they win over the interlocutor, then they begin to work on pliable people. That is why the interlocutor on a subconscious level may experience tension and distrust of people who are overly friendly and smiling.

Of course, we all met in this life people who turn their eyes on themselves, attracting attention like a magnet. These are excellent interlocutors with a pleasant appearance. They are successful, self-confident, and we can safely say that luck favors them. Such individuals often become the object of envy for others. So, in order to stop being envious and to find yourself in the spotlight, you should learn the secrets of how to win over people.

Human psychology is designed in such a way that we intuitively feel how others treat us. Before you start to win the attention of others, you should start improving your inner world - harmony and order should prevail in it. So, below are some great ways to win people over. Start applying them - and the result will not be long in coming.

Self-esteem

The most important criterion for the magnetism of any person is his attitude towards himself. How to win over people? The first is to raise your self-esteem. But do not get too carried away, self-esteem should be "healthy". People with a good attitude towards themselves not only believe in their abilities, but also inspire others to the exploits.

Perhaps you should start by strengthening the “immunity” of your self-esteem. A great way is positive self-hypnosis, that is, a kind of internal conversation with oneself. There is another name - autotraining. Convince yourself that you are the best, you will succeed, and you are not afraid of anything.

A success notebook is also suitable, in which you will write down your own achievements and positive actions daily (giving way to a mother with small children on the bus, helping an old woman cross the road, etc.). All this will help you not only in communicating with people, but also in life in general.

Sight

Everyone knows that the eyes are the mirror of our soul. The famous American thinker Ralph Emerson wrote that a glance can scare much more than a weapon loaded and aimed at a person. A look can offend more than spitting in the face or hitting. And at the same time, with a glance, you can convey all the warmth that has accumulated inside you. Yes, the power of the gaze is truly great, so it is the eyes that should become your weapon.

How to get people to look at you? To do this, you will have to practice to give it expressiveness, because monotony terribly annoys the interlocutor. Don't stare at someone's face like you're about to burn a hole in it (unless, of course, that's your goal). In order to win the sympathy of a person, you need, looking at him, mentally pronounce compliments or good, tender words, for example, gratitude. Try it, you will see that it works! Your relationships with people will noticeably improve.

Appearance

How to win over people? Be pleasant in every way. Remember that you are greeted by clothes. Do not let yourself look neglected and unkempt. Watch yourself. Believe me, no matter how good a conversationalist you are, if you show up with a dirty greasy head, unwashed hands or mountains of dandruff on your shoulders, no one will care about your abstruse speeches. They will immediately lose interest in you, adding them to the list of losers.

In medieval Europe, bathing once a year was considered the norm, but today the world has changed. Nobody likes unkempt people, so always keep an eye on how you look.

Personal Resources

Well, now it's time to remember the second part of the saying "... they see off according to the mind." A neat appearance is not enough, you also need internal content so that people are interested in communicating with you, and not just watching. What is meant by the inner world of man? His sense of humor, the ability to think positively in any situation, high intellectual abilities, the ability to rejoice at other people's successes, listen or cheer in a difficult situation, etc.

The deeper and more diverse your inner world, the more magnetism you will have. Read books, be interested in technological innovations, try extreme sports. In general, do not sit still, develop - people will follow you.

What's next?

Do you want to become the soul of the company? To be the center of attraction, and not to be attracted by yourself? Well, now you know how to win over people. The main thing is not to be lazy, and use these tips - now you can do everything!

Train your communication skills, attend all kinds of trainings and seminars on personal growth, increase your intelligence. Remember that people appreciate the ability to see a piece of good even in the most seemingly hopeless situation. Forget about failures, you will succeed! And most importantly, treat others with sympathy - and they will respond the same. By the way, everyone loves compliments, so be sure to take advantage of this knowledge. In general, the ability to win over people is more a matter of practice. So now that you have the secret knowledge, go ahead and attract more and more people to you.

The ability to negotiate is useful not only for those who occupy leadership positions. A well-structured conversation can help in various areas. But the main thing in this art is not the words that you will say, but how you will behave. In this article, 12 tips on how to conduct a conversation in order to win over the interlocutor immediately.

Step 1: Relax

Tension breeds irritability, and irritability is the main enemy of a productive conversation. Studies show that just one minute of relaxation increases brain activity, which is very important for conversation and quick decision making.

Before starting a conversation, do the following:

2. Breathe slowly for 1.5 minutes: inhale for 5 counts, exhale for 5 counts.

3. Now yawn a couple of times and notice if you are relaxed? Rate your degree of relaxation on a 10-point scale. Record the result.

4. Now you need to stretch the muscles of the body. Start with the face: wrinkle and tense all the muscles of the face, and then straighten and relax them. Gently tilt your head from side to side and back and forth. Roll your shoulders. Tighten your arms and legs, count to 10, relax and shake them.

5. Take a few deep breaths. Has your condition improved?

Step 2: Focus on the present moment

When you relax, you are focused on the current moment, not paying attention to what is happening around. The same should be done during the conversation. Turn on your intuition and you will be able to hear all the shades of the speaker's speech, which will convey the emotional meaning of his words, and you will be able to understand at what point the conversation will turn off the path you need.

Step 3. Be quiet more often

Being silent will help you pay more attention to what other people are saying. To develop this skill, try the Bell exercise. On the website, click on the link " Strike the bell"And listen carefully to the sound until it subsides. Do this several times. This will help you learn to focus and be silent when you are listening to someone.

Step 4: Be Positive

Listen to your mood. Are you tired or alert, calm or anxious? Ask yourself: Am I optimistic about this conversation? If you have doubts or worries, it is better to postpone the conversation. If this is not possible, then mentally start it, rehearse, this will help you find words and arguments that will help you achieve your goal.

Step 5: Think about the other person's intentions

For a conversation to be honest and balanced, everyone needs to be open to it and be clear about their values, intentions, and goals. If your intentions don't match those of the person you're trying to do business with, problems are inevitable. Try to find out in advance what your interlocutor would like to receive from the transaction. But be careful, your interlocutor can carefully hide his goals and say what you want to hear.

Step 6. Before the conversation, think of something pleasant.

You need to conduct a conversation with an expression of kindness, understanding and interest on your face. But if you don't really feel like that, fake emotions will look terrible. There is a little secret: before talking, think about something pleasant, remember the people you love and respect. These thoughts will give your look softness, cause a slight half-smile, and such a facial expression will subconsciously cause a sense of trust in you from your interlocutor.

Step 7: Pay attention to non-verbal cues

Always look at the person you are talking to. Stay focused and try not to get distracted by extraneous thoughts. If the interlocutor does not finish something or wants to deceive you, he, of course, will carefully hide it, but for a fraction of a second he can forget himself and give himself away by facial expression or gesture. Of course, you can only find out that he is deceiving you, but, unfortunately, you will not be able to find out the reason for the deception.

Step 8: Be a nice conversationalist

Start the conversation with a compliment that sets her in a friendly tone, and end with a compliment that expresses your gratitude to the interlocutor for the conversation. Of course, compliments should not sound like flattery. So ask yourself the question: what do I really appreciate in this person?

Step 9. Add Warmth to Your Voice

Try to speak in a lower voice. The interlocutor will respond to such a voice with great confidence. When we are angry, when we are excited or frightened, our voice involuntarily sounds higher and sharper, its volume and pace of speech constantly change. Therefore, a low voice will signal to the interlocutor about your calmness and the confidence of the leader.

Step 10 Speak Slower

Slowing down a little helps people understand you better without straining to catch every word, it makes them respect you. It is not easy to learn to speak slowly, because from the very childhood, many of us chatter. But you have to try, because slow speech calms the interlocutor, while fast speech causes irritation.

Step 11. Brevity is the sister of talent

Break your speech into sections of 30 seconds or even less. No need to build incredible offers. Our brain is able to absorb information well only in micro-portions. Say one or two sentences, and then pause, make sure the person understands you. If he is silent and does not ask questions, you can continue, one or two more sentences and a pause.

Step 12: Listen carefully

Focus your attention on the interlocutor, everything is important for you: his words, their emotional coloring, his gestures and facial expressions. When he pauses, respond to what he said. Remember to listen to your intuition as you speak.

And the last tip: which strengthens nervous system and helps to relax, this practice will come in handy during boring conversations.

When it comes to making a good impression, inspiring trust, we often consider it only in the context of some kind of business relationship. Of course, the ability to quickly find a common language with people is a huge advantage for a person who makes a living by selling. But do not forget that people who are far from this profession are also daily forced to sell themselves, their ideas, interests, desires and intentions to other people, often strangers.

Below I offer a list of five points. Each point is a practical recommendation that you can follow if your goal is to win over a stranger to you from the first seconds of your communication.

1. Smile big

You may find this advice too trite, but trust me, a big smile is the fastest way to build confidence.

Broad is a gesture that monkeys use when they want to show other primates that they are not a threat. Man is a primate. We originate from the same ancestor as the apes. And this is inherent in us by nature - to smile and show open palms when we want to win over a person.

And yes, you may not believe in evolution, in common ancestors, and in the fact that man is a primate, but this trick works without it.

Try it and you will see how much easier it is for you to win over a person, how much more willing people will listen to you and how much more comfortable they will feel in your company.

When I use the expression “big smile”, I don’t mean at all that you need to put on an artificial smile all over your face, but I’m just saying that you need to try to smile naturally so that it does not look like a fake smirk. And this skill comes with practice. Two minutes a day in front of the mirror in the morning while brushing your teeth will be enough to practice a friendly smile.

2. Call the interlocutor by name

If your goal is to gain trust, get the stranger's name and then repeat it three times during your conversation.

Why is the name so important? This is one of those few words that has real value for its owner. Remember, we don't like people who use nicknames instead of a given name to address us. Moreover, the name is one of the most powerful tools to influence a person. You can say something to the interlocutor, but he will not hear you. One has only to call his name - you will get all his attention.

Do you want to win over a person? Refer to him by name more often. This works in a fantastic way.

3. Put on a doctor's coat

The longer a person speaks, the more he trusts us. The longer we talk, the less sympathy we cause for ourselves.

Remember the people who talk incessantly so that they do not allow others to insert a word. I'm sure I'm not the only one who chooses to cross over to the other side of the road just to avoid such a person. And if your goal is to arouse sympathy for yourself, you should not be among such people.

Don't talk about yourself, instead take an interest in the person you're talking to. Imitate doctors: they do not talk about themselves, but ask leading questions, encouraging the patient to talk more about himself. And then look into his eyes and as if he is telling some amazing story.

This advice may seem banal, but look around and you will understand how many people do not do this: they click on the phone, wander their eyes and show that they are not interested in what is happening here.

4. Encourage conversation with the question “Tell me…”

In the last paragraph, we said that you need to "put on a doctor's coat and listen", but how to get the interlocutor to speak? Questions are for this purpose. A good question implies a good answer. A bad question leads to a bad answer.

I remember when I started my career as a real estate agent, I often asked people questions formulated as follows: “Why are you selling an apartment?”, “Why such a price?”. To which he received standard short answers: “Money is needed!” and “To have enough money!”. In such a situation, it was very difficult to maintain a conversation, short answers did not make it possible to catch on and draw a person into a dialogue.

A little later, I wised up and changed the wording of the questions: “Tell me, what circumstances led you to the decision to put your apartment up for sale?”, “Tell me, what factors did you take into account when evaluating the apartment?”. After such questions, I always received a detailed answer, which flowed into a confidential conversation. And trust was my goal.

Then I adapted the phrase "Tell me ..." for everyday situations, and it also works great when there is a goal to talk to a taciturn interlocutor. And we remember: the more he talks, the more sympathy he feels for us.

Try.

5. Use compliments appropriately

Another powerful tool for influencing a person is a compliment in his direction. But a compliment is a compliment.

A good compliment is not at all what some young men do when trying to impress a girl. It looks unnatural and doesn't work.

The perfect compliment is a compliment to the place.

So, for example, a simple compliment that you like the color of a person’s shirt looks much more honest than loud statements that he is the smartest person you have ever met (especially considering the fact that you have known each other for no more than 10 minutes).

I understand that if you are not used to giving people compliments, then starting to do this can be a difficult task and the first attempts can look feigned. But the truth is that every person has something that you can like about him, you just did not set the task to see it before. Now put it on.

At each new meeting, try to find something that the interlocutor can do, and let him know about it. It doesn’t have to be something complicated, it can all come down to a beautiful thing in his wardrobe, a delicate act or a trait of his character. It doesn't matter how important it is to others. What matters is how important it is to that person.

Practice giving compliments until it becomes a habit.

Conclusion

In this article, I shared five tips that I myself use to build relationships with other people. But this list is by no means exhaustive and can be supplemented by a few more points.

I want to ask you: what ways, secrets and tips can you add to this list?

Charm or the ability to win people over is an important ability that will definitely come in handy in life for every person who has managed to master it. And the point here is not only the desire to achieve their goals, conquer new horizons and representatives of the opposite sex - a person just wants to feel confident surrounded by other people.

How to position a person? Be sincere, be a good listener, don't shy away from using proven techniques like flattery or mirroring.Source: Flickr (Irvin_Eduardo)

Why is it important to be able to win over people

The ability to establish contact with the outside world comes in handy in everyday life every day: the process begins from early childhood, when the child communicates with his peers, goes to kindergarten, and later to school. Already here, the ability to win over teachers will allow you to avoid many unpleasant moments. For example, a teenager has not learned his lessons, which threatens him with a bad mark: some children manage to win over the teacher in such a way as to confine themselves to a simple remark. But, of course, at this age everything happens unconsciously, later the skill is successfully applied already in a higher educational institution. Everyone knows how important it is to win over the admissions or examination committee in order to get approval.

The importance of this skill is successfully applied in employment, negotiation, and is an integral sales technique. If on duty you have to conclude contracts and look for new clients, mastering the skill will be a real salvation. But even in ordinary life, far from commerce, the ability to establish contacts is vital. Such a person will be able to acquire a lot of friends, will be popular with members of the opposite sex, and will be known as an excellent interlocutor with whom it is pleasant to communicate.

Psychologist's advice on how to learn to win people over

If you are interested in the question of how to win over people, psychology knows the exact answer to it. Experts have long developed effective techniques that will help in any situation:

1. Ask for a favor: let it be some trifle, for example, ask for the time or take the phone to call. Thanking for the help provided should be very flattering, so that a person feels needed and useful. The point is that once having come to the rescue, the next time people are more willing to make contact: they believe that you will not deceive them, a circle of trust is created.
2. When you need to ask a person for something, but you are afraid of rejection, just ask for more! Of course, your request is unlikely to be fulfilled, it will be denied. But a little later, you can ask for what you originally wanted: the person already feels uncomfortable, refusing you, the second time he will try to help you, because “your appetite has diminished.” How it works? For example, you want your parents or a young man to give you a phone for 10 thousand rubles, but you think that this amount is too high for them. Having asked for a gift for 20 thousand, you will agree to a cheap model a little later and, most likely, get what you want. The main thing is not to confuse the skill of getting people to yourself with manipulation.
3. When talking to a person, address him by his first name. At first it may seem difficult, especially with strangers, but the result will not be long in coming: the fact is that a person is very pleased to hear his name, he will be more loyal to the interlocutor.
4. At the non-verbal level, too, there are tricks. Your position should be open, do not cross your legs, lean towards the interlocutor. It is better to sit at the negotiating table not opposite, but on the side, with your hands in front of you, this will create an atmosphere of trust. Nobody canceled goodwill, an appropriate smile, but it is not recommended to look closely into the eyes of the interlocutor.
5. Flattery is also considered a good way to make contact, but here it is important not to go too far - pretense is strongly felt. You can use flattery only when the interlocutor has high self-esteem - your words will confirm his opinion and cause approval. If you try to flatter a person who does not like himself, you can run into negativity.
6. Using the reflection technique requires some dexterity and skill. The bottom line is that you deliberately copy the manner of speaking or gesticulating your opponent, it should look appropriate and unobtrusive. The fact is that a person is more willing to make contact when he sees similarities. This is the reason for the dislike of most people for informals, individuals who stand out sharply from the crowd - we do not see their own kind in them.
7. Sometimes it’s worth taking advantage of a person’s fatigue, you can ask for a favor after a hard day’s work, there is no energy left to fulfill or refuse, so the person will promise to do everything tomorrow, such a word will usually be kept.
8. Even when the topic of conversation is not interesting to you, listen to the interlocutor, disagreeing with his position is not a reason to interrupt the speech. Listen to someone else's opinion, ask him to argue, ask a lot of clarifying questions, delve into the essence and at least pretend that you are trying to understand and accept this point of view. You should not immediately rush into an argument, find common features in your positions, start from them, building your own line of behavior.

Note! It is extremely important not only to listen, but also to hear the interlocutor, so that there are no two monologues when everyone speaks about his own. Agree with your opponent more often and nod to him.

If you think that only young ladies like to chat, you are mistaken. A man also does not mind talking about exciting events, so be sure to ask about the day he lived, ask him to talk about something interesting.