From time to time, everyone encounters rudeness. It can happen on the street, in the office. Often, we hear insults in public transport and communicating online. In order not to become a victim of a boor, and not to be led to his provocation, you need to properly fight back and worthy answers. This article is dedicated to just that. After reviewing the information offered in it, you will learn how to respond to an insult.
It is not necessary to answer insulting phrases with silence and fists. It is better, while remaining calm, to make a politely reciprocal “compliment”.
Life situations are different. And if you do not learn how to properly respond to them, you can waste your nerves. And, worse, even become the culprit of a provocative conflict. Therefore, below we suggest that you familiarize yourself with how to behave if you have been insulted. And also, how to correctly respond to the offender.
Insulting a person can lead to a dead end. In such situations, it is difficult to figure out how to react. To save your nerves, it is useful to know the following recommendations:
Controlling emotions and learning to fight back
Initially, try to surround yourself with positive people. Associate with sincere and cheerful people. That way you can definitely avoid insults. However, if such a situation arose, be able to competently protect yourself and adequately respond. The advice of a psychologist will come to the rescue.
It is worth thinking about your self-esteem. By increasing its level, it will be possible to quickly and easily give an answer to an insult to a boor. In addition, a person with a strong spirit and self-confidence is much less likely to be rude.
Responses to provocation
If you had to communicate with a negative person, you should not show him your feelings. Express your point of view with confidence and firmness. Speak relaxed. Often, provocative and touchy phrases are spoken by weak people. Their “strength” is your weakness. Remain calm and don't get defensive.
In situations where, when talking with the offender, you feel that patience is coming to an end, sneeze. As strange as it may sound, this method works. It is considered relevant when insults from the lips of a boor “flow” in an endless stream. After waiting for the right moment, sneeze loudly. This will create a long pause. You can use it by turning the situation in your direction. So, for example, after a sneeze, offer the offender the following answer: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit".
This method will help in situations where a skirmish occurs in a society of people you know, employees. It consists in redirecting negativity and aggression to the rude person himself. It is enough for you to agree with the offender and praise him for spending his precious time criticizing you. Learn how to respond appropriately in situations like this. Correctly form a phrase to hide causticity.
This way to beautifully respond to rudeness is used by netizens. Basically, administrators and moderators of virtual communities. The rules written by the management of sites and forums are ignored by some. This usually happens when any disputes arise against the background of the participant's stay in the community. For example, if he is denied access for a violation, in response a person may turn to rudeness. The easiest argument is to “ban” a character. If you need to point out his mistakes, proving your case, describe them dryly and without emotion. Reading such a text (list), a person will cool down.
Ignore the interlocutor. This method of dealing with rudeness and insults is the most common.
It allows you to give a worthy offender answer. Using this technique, you can respond beautifully and safely get rid of the rude. Although silence is not always effective. It is necessary to look at the situation. It may be necessary to "turn on" complete indifference in response to the interlocutor's attempts to win attention and piss you off. Treat it like it's empty space.
How to avoid conflicts when communicating online?
Regarding communication in the network, in general, you can adhere to the previously given options for responses. But there are features on how to respond to an insult on the network.
Original options that allow you to repulse the enemy
Non-standard situations often arise when only witty responses to insults can put the offender into a stupor. For such cases, here is a list of what the answer might be:
- “I don’t know what you eat, but it works. Your intelligence is slowly but surely going to zero.
- "To impress me, you will finally have to say something smart"
- “Your teeth reminded me of the stars: they are the same yellow and are so far from each other ...”
- "Just because you look terrible doesn't give you the right to act the same."
- “Are you really like this or is this your image?”
- “Were you the same as a child or prettier?”
- "You're so clever! Does your skull hurt by any chance?”
These and other witty answers will help to beautifully and tactfully remove the enemy from the "battlefield".
And if a skirmish took place in front of colleagues, your reputation is guaranteed not to suffer. Unlike the person who threw an insult at your account.
No one can give an exact answer on how to correctly respond to an insult. Life situations are different. Therefore, first analyze what happened in order to give the offender a fitting rebuff.
Unfortunately, almost every person in everyday life is forced to face rudeness and rudeness. We hear a flood of swear words in response to the remark that we were crushed in the leg in public transport. The boss scolded us in harsh verbal form for five minutes. One of my friends scolded you for repaying the debt two days later than the due date. There can be any number of such situations. Of course, it is terribly insulting to hear insulting expressions addressed to you, especially when they are undeserved. I just want to say to my offender: "You're a fool!" However, one should not be above this. Try to respond to the insult in a non-standard way, without obscene language and vulgarity.
"How to be rude beautifully?" - a question that really deserves a separate analysis. Those who will forever be able to understand the answer to it will have the opportunity, under no circumstances and life's troubles, not to lose their own dignity.
So, let's move on to considering the question of how to be rude beautifully.
Rude man, who is he?
As a rule, boors are people with an unbalanced psyche and which they want to improve by insulting others. And for them it does not matter at all whether they are really guilty. They just need someone to take their anger out on. It would seem, how beautiful it is to be rude to such people, because it is generally impossible to communicate with them? In fact, their potential victims simply cannot resist their onslaught. Why? Just do not allow character traits. First of all, people with a heightened sense of duty cannot fight back a rude person. They always feel guilty no matter what they do, so for a boor they are easy prey. Secondly, insecure people cannot adequately respond to an insult - their pride is so deeply hidden that they cannot think of anything smarter than shouting loudly at them or using obscene language in response to the abuse of others.
This form of "intelligence" prevents them from adequately responding to their offender, and they try to avoid communication with him in principle. What should the above categories of people do when someone insults them? In this case, we advise the following: we learn to be rude beautifully - 1000 non-standard answers will help to give a worthy rebuff to the offender. That's all.
How to adequately respond to rudeness?
And yet, how to be rude beautifully? First of all, you need to understand one important thing: there is no need to stoop to the level of your offender. Otherwise, you recognize your failure in terms of the culture of communication and education. So, hamim beautiful! Make your interlocutor feel like a real idiot and fool in the eyes of others: in this case, his pride will be hurt, and you will become the winner in a verbal duel. Therefore, the hamim is beautiful in such a way that he understands how pathetic he looks, heaping curses on your head. And for this you must show maximum erudition, intelligence and self-confidence.
And what is a beautiful rudeness? In simple terms, this is a witticism veiled in a decent (cultural) phrase. It seems that there is no obscene language in the words, and mocking intonations put the offender in a bad light. For example, you can get rid of an obsessive interlocutor with the phrase: “I can’t remember your name and please don’t help me with this!” or "Talk, talk... I always yawn when I'm interested!"
Simply put, we learn to be rude beautifully, period.
What should be remembered?
Be able to respond in the correct form to the "sharp" attacks of your loved ones and friends. If you are deliberately incited to quarrel, then resort to the following psychological methods of influence:
1) Trolling in a mild form. Permanent participants of forums and chats are familiar with this term. Its essence is this: if they begin to be rude to you, then we turn into an intellectual and pour impudent words like: “Your mind is like a steel trap that always slams shut when you try to find an answer!” or "As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?"
2) Question to question. We learn to be rude beautifully and, instead of answering a taunt, we ask a counter question: “I can’t talk to you right now, tell me, where will you be in ten years?” or “You lost the list, who to be afraid of?”
3) Misunderstanding. In response to the attack, show with all your appearance that you did not understand the interlocutor: “I'm sorry, what did you say? My ears are blocked today.”
4) Humor. This quality will save in any life circumstances. You can always be rude with him beautifully. The phrases “Don’t piss me off, I have nowhere to hide the corpses! Come on, I’m joking, joking, there is still a place”, “Yes, girl, you won’t save the world with beauty”, “Go, lie down, preferably on the rails” is a vivid confirmation of this.
5) Consent. Agree with what the abuser told you:
Don't jump in line, you bastard!
Yes, I am, that's why I jump out of line. The absence of a dispute, as it were, disarms the rude person, and he stops pestering you.
6) Allergy. When you hear an insult addressed to you, start coughing and sneezing, after which get ready to be rude beautifully. The phrases “Sorry, but I’m allergic to verbal diarrhea”, “I start to cough when I understand that the human mind can outshine the light of a floor lamp” will come in handy.
7) Disappointment. You can cool the ardor of the offender with your own disappointment in him: “I thought you were a man with a capital letter, but it turns out that only with a small one”, “Mind like a shell”.
Do not position your rude interlocutor as "the embodiment of evil", do not work to make him even more angry, but try to eradicate his terrible vices in him.
How to be rude to friends in the right way?
Of course, we should not forget that being rude to your family and friends is not only uncivilized, but also mean.
At the same time, circumstances often arise in which a friend or loved one expresses frank rudeness towards you. The reason for this behavior may lie in a simple attempt to assert themselves and prove their own superiority. Such is human nature. Naturally, in this case too, we learn to be rude beautifully: 1000 non-standard answers exist for swearing, slander and rudeness. Try to react calmly and even with a barely perceptible smile to all the barbs from loved ones. For example, “I don’t like boors. Why do I need competitors?”, “My treasure! Remember once and before sclerosis! or “I would have offended you for sure, but I’m afraid that it’s better than mother nature, I still won’t succeed.” These responses are ideal for attacks from relatives or friends. The main trump cards in communicating with them are positive sarcasm and
How to be rude to strangers in the right way?
It often happens that you have to hear rudeness and abuse from unfamiliar or completely unfamiliar people. For example, you were rude by a saleswoman in a supermarket. Pretty common situation, right? How to respond to her taunts? Again, we learn to be rude beautifully.
Non-standard answers will wean her from being rude to other customers. What can you say to a tradesman? You can react like this: "I'm sorry I'm too busy to cherish your complexes" or "I understand that you are trying to compensate for the lack of intelligence by screaming?" If a stranger is rude to you on the street, then we recommend giving the following answer: “I don’t give a damn what you think about me ... I don’t think about you at all!”
civil servants?
Today, employees of pension funds, city administrations and other government agencies are not very picky in terms of their communication with people. In this case, the technique called “learning to be rude beautifully” is not applicable. Phrases, witticisms and ironic statements are inappropriate and meaningless here. If you were rude in a state institution, then write a complaint to your higher authorities, while hypothetically you can imagine how garbage from a large bucket is poured onto your offender's head - this will help calm your nerves after the insult.
Your reaction to the insult
What to do when you are inadvertently or deliberately offended verbally? The main thing is not to take the insult personally. You must understand that the insolent person was rude to you not because of a hostile attitude towards you, but only because he was badly brought up, or he has a nasty mood. In other words, your persona has nothing to do with it. You should also take into account the fact that in most cases your abuser does his dirty work impulsively, because he is a hostage to his violent and irrepressible nature.
As already emphasized, insulting or swearing at someone is a kind of self-affirmation, a demonstration of one’s “I”, a manifestation of egocentrism, which the offender lacks in everyday life, since he leads the life of a “gray mouse”.
What to do first?
When a stranger has cursed at you, the best way out of this situation is to ignore the offender. Just try not to notice his presence, and after a while he will be distracted from your person. However, this approach does not always work. Then we learn to be rude beautifully. “You will open your mouth at the dentist,” is your reaction to the slander of a rude man.
If the words offended the employer
Many, having heard insulting expressions from the boss, try to pass them on deaf ears. “Where will you go, they can fire you if you say something against!” people will say. In fact, you need to learn how to defend your interests as an employee and not allow management to scatter accusations left and right. Believe me, no one will fire you for having dignity and your own point of view when it comes to unfair accusations.
If words offended a loved one
When a loved one offended you, then the most correct solution to the problem would be to open the cards and talk heart to heart with him in a calm atmosphere. In 99% of cases, it is possible to determine the true cause of the disagreement.
If a child complains about being teased and bullied at school, parents need to help him cope with this problem. Do not underestimate the importance of the situation, because for a child the attitude of other children towards him is a very significant circumstance. School conflicts can be both small and insignificant, and take on a more serious scale, up to organized bullying, which can even lead a child to suicide.
Parents should help the child analyze their behavior and draw conclusions about what may cause the aggression of classmates. In order to understand how to fight back against juvenile offenders and prevent further development of the conflict situation, parents, together with the child, should contact a child psychologist, he will tell them the right course of action and give advice on how to behave in the circumstances. Mom and dad should support their child, strengthen his faith in his own strength and self-esteem, help overcome shyness when communicating with classmates.
In order for the child to be physically stronger and able to stand up for himself, he can be given to engage in a sports wrestling section or self-defense courses. The child must know how to fight back with words, and be able to defend himself physically. It is necessary to explain to the child that one should always try to avoid a fight, but if he was attacked, then he should defend himself. Often children tease a classmate in order to see his reaction: how he cries, is offended, or tries to run away. If the child stops reacting violently to the provocations of the offenders, they will lose interest in him and leave him alone.
Children often tease those classmates who are somehow different from the rest: they have speech therapy problems, study poorly, dress sloppily. How to fight back the offender in such a situation? Parents should help the child to change. It is necessary to monitor the cleanliness of his clothes and shoes, teach him to follow the rules of hygiene, take him to the hairdresser on time, visit a speech therapist and correct his speech, help him in his studies. A child will be able to win the authority of classmates if he learns to do what others cannot: play the guitar well, draw beautifully, be the best at computers. Some joint games, activities and hobbies bring children together very well.
If parents suspect that their son or daughter is being bullied at school, it is necessary to talk about this with the child's class teacher. The teacher will explain how to learn to fight back, and in turn will be able to influence the situation. Sometimes children find themselves in such difficult circumstances that it is difficult to manage without the help of parents and teachers. The mother or father of a child who is being bullied at school can talk to the bully's parents and ask them to influence their child. There are many levers of influence, the most important thing is not to leave the child alone with a serious problem and let him know that he can feel protected.
Human life in the modern world involves interaction with society. So, social psychology considers three main options for existence in society:
- consider only one's own opinion and suppress others
- be guided only by the views of others
- compromise
The latter is the most acceptable, as it eliminates the risk of conflicts, both external and internal. Unfortunately, not everyone is capable of adequate behavior when interacting with other members of society, and therefore people often encounter rudeness. Rudeness as deviant behavior is the result of the individual's frustration with himself. In more familiar and understandable words, when someone demonstrates negative emotions, then he is most likely dissatisfied with himself and is trying to increase self-esteem by humiliating others.
Quite often you can hear advice that unworthy behavior and rudeness must be tolerated, that is, in a Christian way, turn the other cheek. But the problem with following this recommendation is that by choosing a victim behavior model, you will constantly provoke aggression from your abuser. For the majority, the expression is fair: human psychology perceives impunity as permissiveness, and therefore rudeness will be present in life until you yourself decide to fight back.
The fight against rudeness in society
Of course, the adequacy of the response to rudeness depends on the circumstances, because putting in place a rude person in line and, for example, your own boss is far from the same thing. However, there are a few general rules for successfully avoiding bullying.
Recommendation one - ignore the boor. The fact is that when demonstrating their negative behavior, a person needs to cling to something. Pretend that this person does not exist for you and he will probably switch to someone else or stop developing the conflict in principle. Recommendation two - smile, show the aggressor that his negativity does not hurt you at all.
Third - agree with the boor, so the rude person loses his "enemy", and therefore the opportunity to offend.
The fourth advice refers to some kind of suppression of the aggressor at the expense of intellect, for example, compare his actions with Newton's third law and let him think about what exactly you had in mind.
Dealing with rudeness at work
As practice shows, the psychology of relationships between people always includes a conflict, whether it is about colleagues at work, childhood friends or family. If problems arise with an employee in an equal position, then it is best to simply walk away from this situation. In this case, avoiding conflict will allow you to maintain normal relations in the team, and you will gain a reputation as a good person. In this case, if the rude man succeeds in creating a scandal, the condemnation of his behavior will be unconditional.
If you do not take into account mobbing and bossing, then the head of the boor can be convinced of the expediency of aggression in your direction by showing your “impenetrability”: do not cry, do not make excuses and be silent. And while the boss is throwing thunder and lightning - look for another job. Take care of yourself and your nerve cells.
adminEveryone faces outright rudeness and offensive attacks. Negatively minded characters are found at the place of work, in transport, in clinics, on vacation, in queues and just on the street. Not everyone can instantly react and parry in response to barbs. How to learn to fight back rudeness and insults?
How to learn to fight back offenders?
When confronted with rude people, unpleasant emotions arise:, irritation,. If you learn to control your own mood and mind, then the attacks of an unpleasant person will not affect your life.
Give yourself a mindset that you can’t “hide your head in the sand” and get lost in response to rudeness. Silence is not an option, but will show weakness, which will allow the rude to amuse pride and triumph. Imagine the offender as a capricious child or an evil gnome, then they will not take over the mind, and you will remain calm.
The ability to give a decent answer to a boorish statement is a whole science. To sink to the level of an opponent is not a noble thing, but a beautiful and restrained rebuff will help and shame not for you, but for an ill-mannered rude person. Prepare a few universal phrases suitable for frequent encounters with boors.
Learning to slander, of course, is not the best thing to do. But what if rudeness and bad manners are ubiquitous these days and one must be able to defend oneself? Often, boors do not understand a polite answer and you have to communicate with them in their nasty language.
Ways to fight back rudeness and insults
How to respond to rudeness is a purely personal matter. Having mastered to perfection the ways of rebuffing offenders, you abstract from negative emotions, save your nerves and peace of mind.
The Calm Method. All rude people are essentially cowards. Their statements are aimed at ensuring that and. Do not give boors such pleasure. Express your opinion frankly, firmly and calmly, without assuming a defensive posture.
Imagine a typical transport situation:
Rude conductor: “Why are you giving 5,000 rubles? I’ll drop you off, I don’t have an exchange!”
Passenger: "Excuse me, what?"
Rude conductor: "There is no exchange!"
Passenger: “I have to go to the final stop. I will be grateful to you if by the end of the trip you can find change for me.
Method "Psychological Aikido". The method is based on using the negative boor against him. Not entering into an argument and agreeing with the attacks of a person several times, you will bring the situation to the point of absurdity. When using "psychological aikido", don't forget to praise the bully. This will definitely work! It will take practice, because by reacting in this way, the general patterns of communication will have to be broken. The method is effective. Ham is confused and disoriented.
A typical situation in a clinic:
Ham: “Are we standing here for beauty? Do you notice the queue? No eyes? Where are you going? Smarter than everyone?
Opponent: “You are fantastically attentive. I really don’t have eyes and I, thinking that I was the smartest of all, climbed first. ”
Ham: "I stand with everyone"
Opponent: “Yes, you stand like the others. I'm climbing alone here without seeing the line" 
Humor method. It is often possible to reduce the boor with ordinary humor. Going to offend someone, a person changes. If you make him laugh at this moment, aggression will come to naught.
Method "Statement". Often, in order not to develop a conflict, it is enough to say that he is a boor, that is, to state a fact.
Method "Politeness of an aristocrat and patience of an angel." Polite treatment is the main nuance in dealing with rude people. Ham expects an aggressive reaction in response, and when he does not receive it, he is lost. The non-standard behavior of the opponent will force the boor to “slow down” and shut up.
Repaying an insult with an insult is not the best defense. The famous saying of O. Khayyam says: “When you throw dirt at a person, remember that it may not reach him, but a trace will remain on your hands.” Learn to fight back rudeness and insult, not allowing negativity into your life.
February 9, 2014, 10:02 am