Women with low self-esteem suffer from insecurity, are afraid of criticism and do not know how to accept compliments. The usual role of the victim does not allow you to perceive life in all colors and boldly look into the future. Learn not to be manipulated.

As you know, self-esteem is how a person evaluates himself, his personal qualities and capabilities in comparison with other people, what place he assigns to himself in society. Self-esteem is not inherited - it is formed at preschool age under the influence of the people closest to the child - the parents. It is on them that it primarily depends on whether the baby will have adequate self-esteem, overestimated or underestimated. And how his future life will turn out, how successful it will be, whether he will be able to set goals and achieve them, or whether he will constantly doubt his abilities and come to terms with the stigma of a loser - it all depends on the level of his self-esteem.

It is not easy to live next to people who have high self-esteem, because they are convinced that they are always right, do not see their own shortcomings and do not admit their mistakes. They believe that they have the right to control others, strive to be the center of attention and show aggression if someone disagrees with them. “You are the best,” they were told as children. “You are a queen!” Dad repeated to a familiar girl. He believed that, feeling like a queen, she would make everyone around her believe in it. But for some reason, those around her did not want to play the role of her subjects, and there were fewer and fewer people who wanted to be friends with her.

Life is not easy for those whose. For some reason they can understand, the parents humiliate the child, showing their power over him, break him, making him obedient, and eventually turn him into an infantile, weak-willed creature, on which all and sundry wipe their feet.

“The horror of what you have done, you can’t be entrusted with anything!”, “You only spoil everything - it’s better to leave”, “Look at Anya, she’s a girl like a girl, and you are disheveled and slovenly”, “Now you will get me, such an infection !" - criticism, threats, comparison with other children, unwillingness to take into account the opinion of the child and see him as a person, talking with him in an orderly tone reduces his self-esteem and self-esteem. His own life attitudes have not yet been formed, and he considers parental beliefs to be an indisputable truth. Psychologists call this direct suggestion, and children at an early age are very suggestible.

If mom and dad call a child a fool and a nonentity, then this is how he will perceive himself. As the proverb says: "Tell a man a hundred times that he is a pig, and on the hundred and first he grunts." Others will perceive it the same way.

Another test for a child's self-esteem is adolescence. At this time, he is very vulnerable and painfully perceives criticism. If you repeat to him that nothing good will come of him and that he has only one road - to prison or to the panel, then you should not be surprised that this will happen.

In the end, people with low self-esteem justify all those nicknames and epithets that they were awarded in childhood. They really become losers, losers, outsiders. They lose, sometimes without even joining the game, because they are indecisive and do not believe in themselves. “I am not worthy,” they explain their loss.

Women with low self-esteem - which men choose them?

Women with low self-esteem, just like men with the same character, do not achieve significant success in life, because they "know their place." However, psychologists have noticed that they, in addition, attract men of a certain type - domineering, authoritarian and selfish. It is beneficial for them to have such a woman at their side, because she is not demanding and it is easy for her to manage. It is easy to convince her that her main task is to create comfortable conditions for her husband, to raise children, and she has no right to demand more than he can give her.

A woman with low self-esteem is also convenient in that she does not need to be jealous - she is grateful to her husband for marrying her, and does not look at anyone else. And even if she looks, she believes that she herself does not deserve the attention of men. The husband, on the other hand, can relax, because if he were married to a woman with adequate or high self-esteem, he would have to strain to match. And so much is forgiven him - both pettiness, and rudeness, and slovenliness, because a woman believes that she does not deserve better.

A woman with low self-esteem is treated not only by her husband, but also by those around her. Knowing that she cannot refuse, they sometimes sit on her head, hanging their problems on her and shifting their responsibilities onto her. Moreover, women with low self-esteem are often perfectionists who strive to do everything in the best possible way.

It is especially easy for them, instilling in them a sense of guilt. In an effort to make amends for this really non-existent guilt, they try even harder to please in order to earn praise.

What are they - women with low self-esteem?

Many women do not realize that all their depressions and failures are associated with low self-esteem. They think: this is how life turned out, the unfavorable circumstances that prevented them from becoming happy, successful and loved are to blame. “You can’t escape fate!”, they resign themselves instead of working on personal settings with which you can change your attitude towards yourself - love yourself. Are we not worthy of this love? “I am alone at home,” says psychologist Ekaterina Mikhailova, who wrote a book under the same title. If we want to be understood, appreciated and loved by others, we must learn to understand, appreciate and love ourselves.

Do these women remind us of anyone? They are:

1. Reliable

But not because they are compassionate and feel satisfaction from fulfilling other people's requests. On the contrary, they scold themselves for not being able to refuse, get angry and annoyed. But they can’t say “no”: suddenly the one who asks will be offended or think badly about them, and someone else’s opinion is very important for them, and it must certainly be positive;

2. Painfully tolerate criticism

Women with adequate self-esteem also adequately perceive criticism: they accept it or not, without falling into hysterics. If you say that she is wrong, a woman with low self-esteem, for her it will be almost a tragedy. Resentment, tears and indignation will follow, because she perceives criticism as an insult and humiliation, hints at her inferiority. After all, as you know, people with low self-esteem want everyone to like and be good for everyone;

3. Overly critical of their appearance

They do not tolerate criticism from others, but they themselves are never satisfied with themselves and their appearance, therefore they strive not to stand out, to be in the shadows. They don't like their figure, face, body, hair - nothing. At the same time, they often engage in public self-criticism, apparently subconsciously expecting that others will begin to dissuade them, assure them of the opposite and make compliments;

4. They don't know how to accept compliments.

They love them, but they don't know how to accept them. It is possible that in response to praise that she looks great today, a woman with low self-esteem will fuss and say something like: “Yes, I washed my hair today” or “Oh, this is an old dress, so you can’t see what I am in it became a cow";

5. Feel like a victim

Their vulnerable psyche reacts painfully to every sideways glance and crooked word. They exaggerate their importance in the lives of other people, it seems to them that others only think about how to offend them. They often feel sorry for themselves, repeating in case of failure: “Well, not with my happiness”;

6. Give up on their own desires

They have their own dreams and desires, but they are driven somewhere so deep that they no longer remind of themselves. And all because women with low self-esteem live on other people's desires. Waiting for the weekend to take a walk with her husband in the park? But he said: "We're going to the dacha to clean the garden, weed the garden." Tired and want to take a break? “What a vacation! Look, my old mother is working, and you will unwind?!”. “Tomorrow my friends will come to visit. Do not want? Can not be. Run to the kitchen, to the stove!

They do not know how to refuse, because it means disappointing others, not justifying their hopes, which women with low self-esteem cannot allow;

7. Not able to make choices and take responsibility

Too often they say the words: "I can't," "I can't do it," "I have no right to decide." It is not surprising that making a decision for them is an incredible burden, because you can make a mistake and deserve disapproval, get a negative assessment. Therefore, they hesitate for a long time and, if possible, shift this task to others: “What do you advise? I will do as you say";

8. Dissatisfied with their surroundings

They often complain to colleagues and girlfriends that their husband suppresses them, their mother-in-law finds fault, and their relatives do not appreciate them. At home, they cry that the boss does not take into account their point of view, and the employees offend. Psychologists say that subconsciously, women with low self-esteem themselves attract people who do not put them in anything, and thus they are additionally affirmed in the opinion that they are useless losers.

We increase our self-esteem

Women who are tired of being a puppet and an object of manipulation, who want to live their own lives and not depend on the opinions of others, can correct their character. It's easy - you just need to want to change.

1. Minimize or stop interacting with people around whom self-esteem decreases

We doubt, constantly seek advice, show insecurity, show how someone’s remark hurts us, make excuses all the time and easily take the blame - and in the end we become our own whipping boy, an eternal scapegoat that no one takes seriously and which is not taken into account. People easily figure out someone who can be treated condescendingly, haughtily, and begin to manipulate him.

To a greater extent, we ourselves are to blame for the current situation: they say that they treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

But if we are no longer satisfied with this state of affairs, we must "show our teeth" - of course, not with the help of tantrums. We control our reactions, not giving a reason to consider us a spineless mumbler.

Changing the attitude of those who are already accustomed to our “toothlessness” is more difficult than starting to build relationships from scratch, but it is possible. However, if others stubbornly continue to assert themselves at our expense, then we do not need such communication. We will spend time with those with whom we become better and gain confidence in our abilities.

2. Love yourself

There is a lot of talk and writing about the need to love yourself now. Loving yourself does not mean giving a damn about the rest and rushing about with yourself, your beloved, as with a hand-written sack. This means understanding yourself, learning to live in harmony with yourself and with the world, respecting yourself and not engaging in self-flagellation and self-blame.

Louise Hay, a well-known American psychologist and author of several books on psychological self-help, suggests going to the mirror in the morning and, looking at your reflection, say: “I love you. What can I do for you today to make you joyful and happy? At first, some internal protest will interfere with this phrase, but soon it will sound natural and free.

As the same Louise Hay writes, “I am not trying to fix the problem. I am correcting my thoughts. And then the problem fixes itself."

3. We set ourselves positive attitudes

We do this with the help of visualizations. The above phrase by Louise Hay about loving yourself is one of the possible affirmations. Some complain that affirmations don't work for them. “I repeat the same thing ten times a day, but nothing changes,” they say.

Louise Hay compares affirmations to a grain or a seed - it is not enough to plant it, it needs to be watered, it needs to be looked after. Having planted, for example, a tomato, we do not expect that we will get fruits tomorrow, do we? The same can be said for affirmations and visualizations - they stimulate us and keep us on track, but for them to work, we must take real steps.

4. Meditate

For example: we relax, close our eyes and mentally transport ourselves to some wonderful place where we once were and where we felt good. We will feel it very clearly - sounds, smells. Then imagine a wizard-wanderer who tells us: “My dear, you are beautiful and unique. You have the right to your opinion, you can not know something or be wrong. You can judge for yourself what is good and what is bad, and take responsibility when you wish. You have the right to decide what and when you do. You have the right to be who you are! You came to this world, to this planet for your own sake!”

The wizard smiles at us and says goodbye to us, and we take a breath, open our eyes and return to reality.

5. We do not save on ourselves

Remarque wrote that "A woman who saves on herself arouses in a man the only desire - to save on her."

Nothing raises a woman's self-esteem like the confidence that she is good and desirable. (Obviously, this is why some men are satisfied with an unpretentious and undemanding wife, next to whom you can not strain yourself, without fear that she will leave or be taken away.)

A gym, a swimming pool, a beauty salon, a SPA-salon, etc. - this is not only external beauty, but also health, and above all mental health.

23 593 0 Self-esteem. What it is? Can we say that self-esteem determines who we are, our life, the relationships we build with others, our professional achievements? Of course yes! Self-esteem helps us solve everyday problems, make decisions. How we cope with difficulties, how we interact with other people, affects our sense of self.

Many people throughout their lives seek false ways to increase their self-esteem by hiding behind expensive things, striving for the perfect figure. If you think for a second and remember some famous and successful personalities who were seen in simple clothes and hardly looked like they were successful, more like “hipsters”. It is unlikely that they suffer from low self-esteem, because their bank account says otherwise.

Everything comes from our consciousness and subconsciousness, from how and what we think and what feelings we experience at this moment.

Of course, our physical health also plays an important role. The way we eat, whether we exercise. After all, if we feel unwell, we are unlikely to be sure of everything.

1. Fear.

Often, before making a decision, we experience fear. Fear protects our body from danger, leaving us in a comfort zone, as a result of which we do not dare to change something. Everyone dreams of something they can't start doing, someone has always wanted to learn how to snowboard or open their own cooking, and maybe even have a baby. But at the stage of thinking about it, we already experience fear, although we have not even taken a step to implement the plan.

One of the first goals on the path to self-esteem is to get rid of fear.

Sit at home in a quiet room, relax and think about your fear. Think of it like a picture in a frame. Then imagine how this picture moves away from you and becomes less and less noticeable, eventually turning into a dot that disappears altogether.

The next way to get rid of fear is to feel the insignificance of fear, as well as the fact that it does not deserve your worries. And then erase this picture with your hand, as if you were rubbing your hand on a misted window.

2. Flexibility of character.

Develop the flexibility of your character. Everyone has probably noticed a sharp reaction to a minor event - for example, friends decide to cancel a meeting at the last minute. Scientists believe that this comes from our childhood. To begin with, clearly define in what cases you begin to overreact. Are the circumstances so terrible that they would react in such a way? Is this situation worth it to react so sharply? If these questions make you feel defensive, then you are indeed overreacting to the situation. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to recognize their nature and understand what in your past caused them. Another way is to intentionally, consciously change your habits. Ask yourself how attached you are to your usual plans. Can you take a different route from work? Or go to the store on Wednesday instead of Thursday as usual? Can you change your plans without disorienting yourself? This is your chance to become more flexible. Flexibility in one area makes it possible to develop flexibility in other areas.

3. Set goals for yourself and solve them.

Set realistic goals and achieve them. Choose the most important of everyday things and solve them. You will experience a feeling of satisfaction and ease if you start with the most difficult tasks and gradually move towards the easier ones. Perhaps success will not always be, but this should not oppress you, on the contrary, remember the tasks that you have already completed. Feel confident that you can achieve everything (“the foundation was poured, the walls were installed, the ceiling remained, but there are not enough resources. It’s okay. But how quickly the foundation was poured and how well everything else was done”). Always think about what you are good at. If something works out, then you deserve it. Self-confidence will come when you realize that the tasks are completed, even if they were small and simple.

How to learn to appreciate yourself?

Each of us is a unique personality, each has a certain set of personal qualities, skills, achievements. Everyone perceives the world in their own way. In order to notice your uniqueness and enjoy it every day, write down on a piece of paper everything that you consider to be the best in yourself. These can be beautiful eyes or certain professional achievements (“I have a lot of experience in a certain field”), as well as character traits (“responsive”, “I can listen”). If you think of something you don't like, don't write it down. Do not limit yourself to one day, constantly re-read and add to the list.

You can also ask your relatives and relatives about how and under what situation they could turn to you as a specialist, a person with experience. Write it down and read it periodically. This will give you self-confidence as well as the peace of mind that there are people to turn to for support.

4. Find something that gives you strength and confidence.

Perhaps this is yoga or a walk along the embankment, or maybe these are minutes spent reading your favorite book, or just pleasant memories that fill you with a sense of satisfaction, after which you feel a surge of strength and joy.

Fill your life with colors. Do not leave the gilded service for the holidays, take it out and use it every day, enjoying its beauty.

Also, psychologists advise to develop what gives you strength and confidence. If you are not given foreign languages ​​(and you have already signed up for foreign language courses) and at the same time you are in a depressed state, the success of others can only aggravate your condition. Instead, focus on what works best for you. Awareness of your own mastery enhances self-confidence due to the positive emotions that you experience (pride, joy, lightness of mind).

5. Keep and emphasize your uniqueness.

No need to drown in the problems of her husband and in caring for children. You can love a person, perform various “feats” for him and enjoy it, but you cannot live for him, and he cannot live for you. Your loved one fell in love with you for who you are, do not lose your uniqueness and individuality.

Now you know how to raise a woman's self-esteem! If you have your own ways, then share them in the comments!

Video by a professional psychologist on how to increase self-esteem. Where do legs grow from and how to deal with it?

Instruction

The first advice for those who are thinking about increasing self-esteem and confidence: make time for yourself, plan for the future. If it constantly seems that the whole world is against it, you should listen to yourself. And before you put up with the world, you have to make peace with yourself. Most often, low self-esteem is the result of ignoring one's own desires, the lack of clear goals. Instead - blurry Manilovian dreams, "I want a billion or a necklace, like a movie actress."

You need to find time for yourself. Calmly consider what is really worth (and possible) to achieve. What does not suit you in the first place, what to get rid of. Then comes the understanding of how to do it. And then - planning, setting immediate and distant goals. And concrete, small, but systematic steps towards the goal.

Big goals are unattainable when a person is depressed. As the first, small goals, we can recommend the formation and consolidation of good habits. To regain self-confidence, increase self-esteem, you need to pay attention to the organization of your own life. Healthy sleep, daily routine, five-minute (but daily) exercises, rational nutrition are tools for more efficient human functioning. Banal, at first glance, advice can significantly improve well-being, there will be strength to achieve goals, time for personal growth.

It is unlikely that increasing self-esteem, personal growth, self-improvement are possible without intellectual development. Read books in your field, preferably translated ones. Try to develop your hobby, in the new century this hobby can become a second profession. Read classical literature, memoirs of worthy people who are authority for you.

A great way to disconnect from the constant negativity, digging into yourself is active recreation. It doesn't have to be mountain climbing or cross-country skiing. The main thing is that the rest is varied and new. This will allow you to change the situation and the familiar environment. For example: an interesting culinary master class, an author's tour of his native city, an exhibition of alternative art or a visit to the opera (especially if the theater was not in honor before). All participants of the master class, all visitors of the exhibition are in equal conditions. This will allow you to take your mind off the constant comparison of yourself with other people, take a big step towards increasing self-esteem and self-confidence.

Self-criticism is destructive, it will not help raise self-esteem. You can't beat yourself up all the time. The energy required for practical actions is expended. If a disgruntled voice habitually sounds in the head, it is urgent to appease the internal censor. We close his mouth as we close the faucet so that water does not leak.

Use meditation practices. Analyze your positive qualities in different areas: professional, family, emotional. Write them down on a small piece of paper and carry them with you. Skim through this list often. In a difficult situation, mentally list your pluses, this will help to gain self-confidence.

To set yourself up for tomorrow's performance (important conversation, interview), you can prepare a small individual mantra. A few affirmative phrases listing the best personal qualities and professional skills. Interesting motivational trainings to increase self-esteem and confidence can be found on the Internet.

Listen to yourself, analyze where the main flow of negativity comes from. Perhaps this person is internally indecisive, and therefore spreads this emotion around him. And further. Don't argue with fools. Their opinion hardly reflects reality. It is advisable to spend energy on your own development and achievement of specific individual results.

It is worth understanding that it is not very difficult to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. Numerous trainings on the Internet will help to do this, among them there are many high-quality and free ones. But the most important thing is to stabilize self-esteem (so that it does not decrease at all). Here you will have to seek help only from professional psychologists.

The surrounding world for each person is a mirror reflecting his own inner world. This means that your vision of the world depends on your own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, attitudes. Another important component of relationships in society is a person's idea of ​​himself, his own assessment of his personality.

The formation of self-esteem is influenced by various factors, among which we can distinguish education, social environment, features of professional activity. Oscar Wilde said that self-love means a lifelong romance. And this is true, because an individual feeling of happiness, calmness and well-being of a person is possible only with an adequate assessment of oneself as a significant person and acceptance of one's individuality. To learn how to improve self-esteem and find specific ways to increase your own self-esteem, listen to the advice of a psychologist and try exercises aimed at increasing self-esteem.

How do we rate ourselves

The American psychotherapist K. Rogers, the author of the famous client-centered psychotherapy, believed that the main component of the personality structure is the "I-concept" - a person's idea of ​​himself, which is formed in the process of socialization, in other words, in his interaction with society. This process involves the iteriorization mechanism - the acceptance of other people's assessments of one's personality as one's own, as well as the identification mechanism - the ability to put oneself in the place of another person and thus evaluate one's personality.

Each person at birth has a personal phenomenal field - an empty space of life experience. In the process of individual development, this field is filled, the personal “I” of a person begins to appear, his “I-concept” is formed. Rogers believed that the final point of personality development is self-actualization - the realization of all potentialities.

Self-esteem is a central component of the "I-concept", because it is a rational assessment by a person of himself, his capabilities and qualities that gives a real opportunity to achieve his goals. Self-esteem performs a protective and regulatory function, affects relationships with other people, behavior and human development. Self-criticism and exactingness to oneself depends on it. Self-esteem is the basis of a person's attitude to his successes and failures, the choice of goals of a certain level of complexity, which characterizes the level of a person's claims.

It is possible to distinguish specific types of self-esteem, based on its individual features:

• Reality: adequate and inadequate self-esteem (low or high). Adequate self-esteem enables a person to treat himself critically, to correctly assess his strengths and capabilities. Inadequate self-esteem is manifested in the overestimation or underestimation of one's strengths and capabilities.
• Time: retrospective, current and predictive. The first characterizes a person's assessment of his past experience, the second - his current capabilities, and the latter means a person's opinion about his possible successes or failures.
• Level: high, medium and low. The level of self-esteem itself is not so important, because in various situations and areas of activity, self-esteem can be both low and high. For example, a person is competent in the field of finance and has a high level of self-esteem in this area, but he does not know how to manage household chores and evaluates himself rather low in this area. A high or low level of self-esteem does not play a key role, first of all, it must be adequate.

The famous American psychologist W. James proposed to determine the level of self-esteem by the formula:

Self-esteem = Success / Level of aspirations

Claim level- this is the upper limit of human achievement, to which he aspires. This may include different types of success: career, personal life, social status, material well-being.

Success is a concrete fait accompli, concrete achievements from the list of claims of the individual.

Obviously, psychology offers two ways to increase self-esteem:

• reduce the level of claims;
• or to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of their own actions.

The level of claims is influenced by various successes and failures in a person's life. If the level of claims is adequate, a person sets himself realistically achievable goals. A person with a high adequate level of aspirations is able to set rather high goals, knowing that he is able to successfully achieve them. A moderate or average level of aspiration means that a person is able to cope well with tasks of an average level of complexity and at the same time does not want to increase their results. A low, and even underestimated level of claims is characteristic of a person who is not too ambitious, who sets rather simple goals. This choice is explained either by low self-esteem, or "social cunning". Psychology explains the latter as a conscious avoidance of difficult tasks and responsible decisions.

Self-esteem is formed in childhood, when a person's capabilities are in a state of development. It is for this reason that self-esteem of an adult is often underestimated when the actual possibilities are much higher than personal ideas about them. Having understood the features of the formation of self-esteem and its types, it becomes obvious that working with this component of personality means precisely raising self-esteem to an adequate level.

Raising self-esteem is not an easy process, but there is no limit to the possibilities of a person. On how to raise self-esteem, you will be prompted by effective advice from a psychologist, among which you will also find effective exercises.

Council number 1. You should not compare yourself with other people. There will always be people around you who will be worse or better than you in various aspects. Constant comparison will simply lead you into a dead end, where over time you can not only get low self-esteem, but also completely lose self-confidence. Remember, you are a unique person, find your strengths and weaknesses and learn how to use them depending on the situation.

Exercises: Write a list of your goals and the positive qualities that will help you achieve those goals. Also create a list of qualities that are a barrier to achieving goals. In this way, you will understand that your failures are the result of your actions, and your personality has nothing to do with it.

Council number 2. Stop looking for flaws in yourself, scold yourself. All great people have risen to the top in their field by learning from their own mistakes. The main principle is that a mistake makes you choose a new strategy of action, increase efficiency, and not give up.

Exercises: take a sheet of paper, colored pencils and draw yourself as you want to see yourself, with all the trappings of success. You can also come up with and portray a personal symbol of success. Drawing will help you better express your desires and increase your confidence.

Tip number 3. Always take other people's compliments with gratitude. Instead of "not worth it," say "thank you." In such a response, human psychology accepts this assessment of its personality, and it becomes its integral attribute.

Exercises: try using special statements (affirmations). Several times during (at the beginning of the day - necessarily) clearly and thoughtfully pronounce the phrases “I am a unique unique person”, “I can achieve this goal”, “I have all the necessary qualities”.

Tip number 4. Change your social circle. Our social environment has a key influence on lowering or raising self-esteem. Positive people who are able to give constructive criticism, adequately assess your abilities and increase your confidence should become your constant companions. Try to constantly expand your social circle, meet new people.

Council number 5. Live according to your own desires. People who constantly do what others ask of them will never know how to raise their self-esteem. They are used to following other people's goals, living a life that is not their own. Do what you enjoy. Work where you feel respect and can realize your abilities. Try to travel more, make old dreams come true, don't be afraid to take risks and experiment.

Exercise: Make a list of your desires and make them realistic goals. Write down step by step what you need to do to achieve these goals and start moving in the chosen direction. You can also make a route for the next trip, make it unusual. If you usually go to the sea, then this time go hiking in the mountains. You may not even be aware of your own capabilities, because you have never tried to get out of your “comfort zone”.

Low self-esteem causes nervous tension and stressful situations that lead to the development of various diseases. Self-doubt deprives a person of joy, prevents him from building relationships, achieving his goals and moving up the career ladder. Therefore, it is vital to make every effort, overcome fear, doubts, in order to get rid of complexes and gain self-confidence.

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How can a woman gain self-confidence?

There are representatives of the weaker sex who do not differ in special beauty, intelligence and do not behave arrogantly, but they are able to create a special aura around themselves, attracting others to their personality. Their secret is self-confidence and a correct assessment of their merits.

In psychology, the following methods are used to help a woman overcome complexes:

• Find your favorite thing. When a person does what he likes and does well, then he develops and becomes a leader in that area. Those around you will definitely appreciate this and begin to seek help, and for such achievements you can praise yourself by giving a high mark.
• Remove imposed stereotypes. One should not think that only a person with a higher education can be called smart. Or that only girls with ideal parameters are considered beautiful and successful. You need to live by your own rules and not try to squeeze into what society imposes.
• . Confident women strive to be real, they don't compare themselves to others and value their individuality. It is important to learn to enjoy your appearance, education, work and teach this to others. Do not miss the opportunity to treat yourself to a relaxing treatment in a beauty salon, beautiful new clothes or a vacation that you have dreamed of all your life. Self-doubt is due to the absence of a loved one in a woman's life, but practice shows that his presence does not solve all her problems if she has not learned to love herself and enjoy life alone.
• Consider all your positive qualities. For those who want to increase self-esteem, psychologists advise keeping a success diary. It will help to achieve stability in personal development, analyze life situations, changes in oneself and form the necessary qualities of character. It can record past experiences and major periods in life, successes, victories, awards, starting from school days. You also need to set aside several pages to list all your positive qualities and all the obstacles that you managed to overcome in order to develop strengths. You should write down all the good things that happened in the past and what is happening at the present time. If you constantly do these exercises, the consciousness will begin to force out all the unpleasant events that have negatively affected self-esteem.
• Handle criticism appropriately. The ability to correctly listen to criticism, and not take it with hostility, changes a person's attitude towards people and helps to show love, attention to others, regardless of their attitude. To be self-confident, a woman needs to learn to laugh at her mistakes and shortcomings. Then she will not see her life only in gray colors and constantly be offended by others.
• Have the right social circle. Friends who can support, assure of their love and help a girl see all her strengths are a valuable gift in life. .

In order for others to appreciate a person and reach out to him, you must first learn to value yourself. If a girl is able to praise herself and sees her achievements, then others will do the same. A woman gains self-confidence if she sets achievable goals for herself and tries to achieve them. It is not always easy to cope with all situations in life, but it is important to notice things that work out and reward yourself for doing things.

How to get rid of complexes

Raising self-esteem for a man

Raising self-esteem begins with the process of self-hypnosis. A man must believe and repeat to himself daily that he is a successful and significant person. In time, he will accept this truth and gain confidence. You can increase your husband's self-esteem with words of praise and gratitude for everything he does for the family.

In addition, in order to change his attitude towards himself, a man needs to:

1. 1. Set goals in life. Representatives of the stronger sex love to act, conquer and achieve. Setting a goal, working on it and achieving it increase male self-esteem, the level of confidence in their significance.
2. 2. Do not scold for mistakes. Wrong decisions, work not done, oversight - this is not a reason to torment yourself, but an opportunity to gain experience, work on mistakes and improve.
3. 3. Develop mentally and physically. Women most often pay attention to smart and athletic handsome men. The interest of the fairer sex in a man has a positive effect on his self-esteem.
4. 4. Analyze your circle of acquaintances. If a person communicates with someone who humiliates him and tries to improve his personal qualities at the expense of another, then he develops low self-esteem. An easy way to avoid this is to stop talking and surround yourself with confident optimists who won't push you to the bottom and will be able to spot good qualities and praise you.
5. 5. Do not compare with others. Everyone lives the way he likes, has his own priorities and goals in life. You need to have your own business, then the man will have a reason to rejoice, looking only at himself.

The causes of complexes and self-doubt come from childhood. A person may not let go of some childhood failures, resentment. If a man is aware of the fact that now he is no longer a little loser, but an adult who leads his own life and is able to cope with all problems, then this will positively affect the uplifting of his own spirit.

Help for teenagers

Low self-esteem in adolescents is common. Signs of the existence of complexes in a child are isolation, poor school performance, loss of interest in life, dependence on the opinions of peers, comparison and imitation of others. The reasons for these phenomena may be puberty, interest and desire to please the opposite sex, to be accepted by others and familiarity with the realities of adult life.

Tips from psychologists for parents to help their child gain self-confidence:

1. 1. Avoid criticism. It leads to the development of low self-esteem and destroys the relationship between children and parents.
2. 2. Do not compare with others. Any comparisons should be about the child's successes or failures with past achievements or failures. And only for the purpose of praising or finding out a weak spot that is worth working on.
3. 3. Do not discuss the teenager with outsiders. All spoken words in the presence of a child can make him depressed, deprive him of joy and self-confidence.
4. 4. Help to achieve success. Parents should encourage a teenager to new activities, knowledge and hobbies, create a favorable atmosphere for development. It does not matter what the result of these new activities will be, the main thing is that he sees the support of his relatives in his endeavors.
5. 5. Respect his opinion. Being in a narrow framework, it will be difficult for a teenager to trust his parents and listen to them, so he should be given the opportunity to choose his own friends, leisure and hobbies. This does not indicate permissiveness at all, but speaks of respect for the rights of the individual.
6. 6. Help with appearance. It is common for a teenager to complain about his appearance, figure, compare himself with idols, people from the cover of a magazine. The task of parents is to help their child look better - take them to a beauty salon, pick up a haircut, buy good, beautiful things that will emphasize all the advantages. If there are problems with the skin of the face and this worries a teenager very much, then you can consult a specialist and find a way to solve the problem.