Practice
We fight embarrassment. The authors of the book 50 Ways to Meet and Like, Sherin Wolfe and Kathy Kunz, call shyness a “hidden program” that works through imagination. For example, you have already made attempts to get acquainted, but failed. And now expect the same failures in the future. What to do?
- Honest conversation. The authors of the book offer to talk openly with your imagination: “Hey, imagination! Do you know that tonight I'm more confident than ever?"
- Communication skills training. You can start training skills by saying hello to everyone. Talk to neighbors, vendors, a girl on a yoga mat nearby... If you decide to get acquainted, state your name before the interlocutor introduces himself to you. Thus, you will reduce internal tension and show that you are not afraid to tell something about yourself. When communicating with someone, imagine that you are comfortable at home. Or remember how you feel when you succeed. Do you smile, joke, sparkle with wit, are you brave and resourceful? Remember this state and radiate it during the conversation.
- Confusion, but not nerves. A slight embarrassment during communication captivates, and excessive nervousness scares off. A tormented person is given out by a loud non-stop conversation, out of place laughter, overdoing it with compliments.
How else to like it?
We actively listen. Only the lazy did not read about active listening. Nodding, supporting phrases “Yes, that’s right”, “I understand”, “I had the same”, clarifying questions “What did you say to him?”, “Did you meet again later?” help the interlocutor feel confidence in you. Yes, and do not interrupt the interlocutor, it is better to listen to the end, perhaps in the process you will change your mind.
What can't be done?
- Repeat the same story, joke (even if it is your catchphrase) during one meeting. It's annoying.
- Show that "it's not funny at all." Do not make faces, hinting that the joke you heard is not on your level. Smile and continue the conversation as if nothing had happened.
- Criticize. There is so much negativity in the world, you need a person to relax with you and feel at home. Therefore, exclude any criticism (leaders, politicians, exes, girlfriends, negligent relatives). Also, do not complain about fate, interpersonal conflicts.
- Complain about financial problems.
- Grab your hands, hug, clap on the shoulder. In our culture, physical contact is only acceptable with people you know well. Everything else is a violation of personal space.
- And even if you have known each other for a long time, you should not insist on your religion, political beliefs - everyone is free to make their own choice.
The desire to please people is inherent in human nature - everyone wants to attract friends and be accepted. People are always trying to please and are looking for reasons why they succeed or not. If you're not getting good results in this area, you should pay more attention to twenty-five tips that help improve communication.
Don't spare words
Say the words "thank you" and "please" more often. How often do we forget the importance of these words, we think that it is not necessary to pronounce them! Nevertheless, they can be the cause of positive changes in your life.
Be polite
Hold the doors for the one who comes after you. Be attentive and polite.
Don't expect favors
Be ready to help other people. You should be an open and positive person, whom it is pleasant to turn to for advice, but do not expect that everyone will owe you for help, do not try to take advantage of people.
Be an expert
If you understand something that others do not know, always share your knowledge.
Don't be a know-it-all
Do not interfere in every conversation, know how to ask questions, listen to the interlocutor and ask for advice.
Find common interests
Take every opportunity to find something in common. This will help take communication to another level. 
Listen carefully
Listen to what people tell you, be careful. If you listen sincerely, you will be able to ask meaningful questions that show the other person how well you understand them.
Compliments
Even if you do not have a very open character, you should make an effort and learn to praise others. Don't begrudge compliments! Everyone wants recognition, everyone wants to understand that their merits are appreciated.
Take someone else's point of view
Learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Do not cling to your beliefs, be able to look at the situation through the eyes of someone else, do not arrange an argument just because you do not agree.
Find your enthusiasm
A person who is sincerely interested in the conversation is immediately visible. Show your enthusiasm with both words and actions so that your interlocutor knows how much he means to you.
smile more
Find warmth in yourself and smile more often. This puts you at ease and makes you more attractive, and it will also make it easier for you to start a conversation.
Don't doubt yourself
Be confident in yourself, but don't become an arrogant person. Do not doubt your words and actions. People are attracted to those who know what they are doing. Show your confidence and people will want to listen to you.
Be interested
Be interested in anything that can help you build relationships with people. Be prepared even for things you don't really like. People like those who know how to leave their comfort zone.
Be yourself
Do not pretend, be yourself with any interlocutor. If you behave differently with each person, it will be incredibly difficult for you to live.
Serve as an inspiration
Try to awaken all the best in people, even if they are not ready to make contact.
Be punctual
Never be late. Making people wait is terribly impolite.
Answer on time
Respond to work calls and messages immediately. This is also a manifestation of your punctuality, do not forget about it and try not to delay the answer for a long time. 
Remember the dates
If you have already learned to listen carefully, go to the next level - remember important dates and birthdays. This will let the person know that you care about them and make it easier for you to communicate.
Focus
Pay attention to what is happening in the lives of those around you. Ask questions about their business so that people understand that you are considerate and you care.
Make time for people
Time is your main value, be able to share it with others.
Forget the clock
Never look at your watch while talking, it's disrespectful.
Be positive
Keep your spirits up, don't focus on the negative.
Be open to new emotions
Become an easy-going person who is easy to get along with, who can be captivated.
Don't be arrogant
If you are always ready to smile and act human, it will be easier for people to get along with you.
Don't forget the names
Remembering names is very important, so try to develop the skill of remembering them.
It should be said that the desire to please should not become an end in itself. If during the acquaintance you only think about how not to lose face, nothing good will come of it. Firstly, with such thoughts, you will only think about yourself, and not about the interlocutor, which will negatively affect the conversation. Secondly, you will be very tense and anxious, thinking about what you can do wrong.
Don't be afraid to be yourself
If in life you are funny and strange - this should become your advantage, not a disadvantage. Do not be afraid of yourself and your personality, otherwise the new acquaintance will get the impression that they are communicating with him under some kind of mask. Sincerity attracts others.
Learn Empathy
The ability to listen to the interlocutor is necessary at the first meeting. Make it clear that you are interested in communication, it is important for you to find out the past of a person and the continuation of his stories. Ask clarifying questions, ask again, be attentive to trifles. This skill is acquired through constant practice.
Look at communication from a different angle
Too often we are faced with situations where the interlocutor misunderstands us. Imagine how your speech is heard by a person who is not aware of all the background and your thoughts. Is he able to understand you as you intended? The three-position model of perception helps in the analysis of such situations. Try to imagine yourself in the place of another person: what is he interested in, how does he see you in this communication?
Practice
Make new friends, practice your communication skills. Theories are great, but without practice they are worth nothing. If you are learning NLP or empathy skills, you should immediately try to apply them in life. So you will understand that some moments of theories need to be changed to fit your own characteristics, learn to understand yourself and other people.
Develop
To please other people, you need to work hard on your personality. Read, learn new things, travel - become a really interesting person. Then people will take the initiative in communicating with you.
Recommendations that will help people like you and you will be perceived as more attractive. Give the impression of being witty and confident when you meet people you don't know. As they say, people will never have a second, and most of us feel anxious when we try to please people. We consider ourselves pretty funny and witty when we communicate with close people and friends who know us well and with whom we feel comfortable. But what happens when we meet new strangers? It is often difficult for us to come up with the perfect joke that will make everyone laugh and perceive us as attractive people. We're not sure if the thought we're going to say will actually be funny, or if our attempts at humor will make people look at us in awkward silence. These feelings self-doubt will be a thing of the past if you start practicing the five solid tips below.
Make your body language more expressive
One characteristic is their expressive body language. In moderation, of course. People won't be drawn to you if you just stand as still as a tree, making your jokes so simple and boring. If you accompany your speech, people will take it as a sign of your courage and confidence. Therefore, what you say will be more natural and people will want to hear more about it. Amplify someone else's ego
No one can remain invulnerable when you praise him, even if you say it in the form of criticism. People like it when their virtues and qualities are noticed, and stimulating their ego will certainly help people to like you. Even if you say, for example, to a girl: “I didn’t think this dress could look so good on someone!” The person will take it as a compliment. Yes, you criticized her fashion sense, but at the same time, you said how attractive she is. Make jokes about things that won't make people feel insecure
It's normal to feel uncomfortable when someone makes fun of you. But if someone jokes about something that is out of your control, either because it's temporary or it's not in your personality, that's another story. You don't take this as a criticism, the joke will be funny, and you will like this person. Therefore, another way to please people is to play jokes on them, but in a way that does not make them feel embarrassed. So, if some of your friends have done something that is far from who they really are, like doing something stupid while intoxicated, and they are not the type of people who are used to getting drunk, they will not get angry if you joke at their expense. They will join you and laugh because it's not mean. This is a fun activity that anyone can take part in. Laugh at yourself
The best way to please people is always by making fun of yourself. People are always ready to jump up and greet such jokes with a smile and approval. Why is that? Because it tells them that you are not an insecure person, that you are fine realize your shortcomings and that you accept them as part of your identity, you are not afraid to show them to the world. You should not follow a path that will make a fool out of you, people will take it as a hint of stupidity. When you say, "I could be a model if I wanted to." People will understand that you are joking about your appearance without directly saying "I'm fat" or "I'm not that handsome", which would be a sign of your insecurity. Therefore, to please people, laugh at yourself. Don't offend anyone with your jokes
If people feel insecure about a certain aspect of their appearance or their personality, joking about it will hurt their feelings and they will likely be wary of you for a long time, maybe even the rest of their lives. Trying to score points hurting other people even if everyone else is laughing is not the right way to please people. Imagine how you would feel if it were the other way around. Not funny anymore, right? Just be careful when messing with other people's feelings, then you will be on the right track and you will always be able to please people.
Greetings! Did you know, how to please people? How to find friends? Why did I start this topic?
I learned that a person's success depends very much on his environment, so everyone should know how to please people! No matter how professional you are in your field, the one who surrounds you will always influence you. If you know how to please people, you know how to succeed! The article is also suitable for those who constantly think - where can I find friends? How to find new friends? I want to find friends with the same interests!
Scientists and personal growth experts have tried to calculate how important a person's environment is to his success. The minimum figure is 50%
!
Can you imagine? At least half of your success does not depend on work experience, experience, talent or knowledge, but on your environment, even if it does not help you in your work! To you gotta like people and know how to do it in order to make your own environment and become successful!
If you learn the rules below, you can please anyone and get what they want from them. This applies not only to businessmen, but also to ordinary people who want to find friends or are looking for their soul mate.
Let's get started!
How to please people?
I was inspired to write this kind of article by a book by Dale Carnegie, in which he talks about how to gain trust and be liked by everyone. Now I will share my knowledge with you.
#1 - Never criticize, judge or complain!
I understand how sometimes you want to criticize another person. He can do something wrong, make mistakes, imagine himself very smart or fashionable and if this is not so, everyone wants to put a braggart in his place, but to do this it is forbidden!
Imagine that you are somewhere with your friends, sitting in a cafe. One of them claims something wrong and just about what you are well aware of. You will be overcome by an incredible desire to fix it in front of everyone and show how smart you are so that everyone will like it. But one must not be smart, but wise and keep silent! Why?
Look, you corrected him in front of everyone, which means that you humiliated him among friends, do you think he will give you this? You will cause negative emotions in him and he can turn others against you. Tell me, do you really need enemies or ill-wishers? It certainly won't help people like it.
How would you like it in this case? Just take him aside and tell him that he is wrong, but never say “you are wrong”. Start with words
“I can be wrong, because you probably know more than me in this area, but it seems to me that here and there should be so-and-so.” Even if you are more competent in this area, lie and compliment him, it will appease him.
Let's compare 2 options.
First - you show your mind and at least 1 person is set up against you, who can set others up against you.
Second, you show wisdom and gain a friend who can help you build a reputation within the company.
Well, who do you want to be? Wise or smart? .
#2 - If you want to say something nice, do it sincerely
How to please people? Give them compliments and they will be drawn to you.
The important point is that compliments should be truthful and sincere, and not stupid flattery. Some people love flattery, but that's like lying or... tell me, do you respect a sucker?
Believe me, you can find something good in every person.
Examples:
Baba Yaga- an old, evil old woman, but she has a house that no one else knows how to do, she has also learned to fly in a bucket with a broom, what a fine fellow, can you do that?
Goblin- a monster, terrible and constantly frightening everyone, but knows the secret of eternal life, which can be a great compliment.
Medusa Gorgon- terribly evil, with snakes instead of hair, turns people into stone, but at the same time she is terribly beautiful that no girl can compare with her.
If the worst characters can be complimented, can't you find a way to compliment the common man?
Can't find anything nice to say? Tell me about your walk, soul, character, eyebrow bend or lip shape in the end. Compliments work especially well if you notice what they wanted you to notice.
Girls, of course, want to receive compliments about clothes and makeup, but guys, about muscles - if they swing or about success - if they are engaged in business, etc.
#3 - Take an interest in the other person's business
You could start each chapter of this article with “how to please people”, but I won’t, just know that each point is very important and can be decisive, but you can use only 1 method and be successful with people.
So, take an interest in the other person's business. A lot of people don't like having their business messed with, but you need to know how to do it. Let's say if they ask me for the thousandth time “?”, I won't be interested at all.
Let's say you have a new acquaintance, don't ask him "how is your family" or "how is your business", but do it sincerely! If you are really interested in this, I think you will at least remember the names of the children of a new acquaintance or the name of his wife.
If you ask “How is your wife, Anya. Is she still gardening?”.
I guarantee that you will no longer be able to "shut up" your interlocutor. He will talk about what beautiful flowers his wife has, what a fine fellow she is, and what a smart daughter, etc.
Never ask "How are you" - this is standard and not interesting, more of a courtesy. Ask “How did you play billiards yesterday?”, then the person will understand that you are really interested in his business and will appreciate it.
No. 4 - “From a smile, it became brighter for everyone”
Remember these lines from the children's song? No wonder these words were set to music.
Did you know that a smile is the most perfect virus? . This virus can spread thousands of kilometers in 1 second and make millions of people smile in one moment.
A smile is a boomerang. If you donate it, it will definitely return to you.
Look at business people who meet in the meeting room or stars who look at you from TV screens, are they gloomy?
I think that there is no need for a lot of words, smile at your friend, acquaintance or even a complete stranger and do not stop doing it, in most cases you will get a smile back.
#5 - A name is the sweetest sound a person can make
If you noticed that I began to call everyone I address by name, why do you think? .
Imagine that you work for some uncle, and he says, “You, fix this and that,” will you be pleased? You will definitely think to yourself something like “Go fix it yourself, fat man” or “I’m also the boss,” but if he replaces “you” with your name, it will be completely different. He will say “Sereg, correct this and that”, what is most likely to sound in response? I think it's "No problem" or "Of course".
When you address someone without mentioning their name, you seem to be communicating with something, but the person is someone. It is necessary to name a name, having heard it, a person will see respect and his own, dear, beloved, the most golden NAME!
#6 - Don't talk too much, listen better
A person does not particularly want to hear about the problems of others, but he loves to talk about his problems, like everyone else. Everyone wants to talk, talk and talk, but who will listen? You! Yes, yes, listeners are very much appreciated, you can tell them what you want, often these are secrets and information that can be useful to you.
Think, are you tired after a hard day at work, do you want to hear about what a hard day your neighbor or friend had? Of course not. You are so tired that you can only be enough to talk about your day. The person who will listen to you is your salvation, a way to take your soul away and relax, let off steam. Will you appreciate such a person? I think yes. Why not become the kind of person everyone appreciates then? After all, you are doing a service by listening to other people, which means that you can also ask for something in return.
#7 - Don't tell the cat owner how great dogs are
I think the name speaks for itself. If you tell a cat owner about how cool, cute and obedient dogs are, he will not be interested at all. If you meet a person with whom you want to build relationships, you need to talk about the topic that interests him.
I will not be pleased to communicate with a girl who talks about how difficult it is to do a manicure and how much effort it takes to take care of her skin, but it's a completely different matter if we talk about general topics.
You may not even really know anything about the topic that your interlocutor likes. Here I am not at all versed in cars, and my best friend loves them very much. If I wanted to talk about cars, I would start like this:
“Listen, what kind of car is this? She has a cool sound. Yes? I like it, how about you? What car do you like the most? What is the difference? What for? Why? How? When?" etc. I think you understand.
I don’t know anything about cars, but I started asking him about them, he was extremely interested and he laid everything out for me. As a result, he had a good time talking to me about his favorite topic, and I can give myself a plus sign.
#8 – Convince the person that they are the most important
I put this item in last place according to the principle - the most delicious is not last.
If you're wondering how to please people this is your answer!
Say why a person makes a career, buys a car, a house, does a job that another would not want to do, asks for compliments, dresses nicely, etc. If you answered that these are natural needs, then I agree with you, but what is all this for? For the sake of feeling important!
Is it when you buy a new car, you immediately put it in the garage and you have it there? I think no. Most likely, you drove it around the city to show everyone what kind of car you have, showed it to friends and acquaintances to show them how important you have become.
Do you know people who do bad things and don't understand why they do it? The answer is that they want to be significant, mean something and not be an empty place. Let's take Baba Yaga as an example. What does she do all the time?
He steals all kinds of children and young maidens, but why? Because she's bored of being at home?
Of course not! I will not answer this question for you! I won’t, that’s all, think for yourself!
When Baba Yaga does not hold “hostages”, who remembers about her? Who cares about her opinion? Who thinks about her or tries to talk? Who recognizes its power? I think you guessed what I'm getting at, she also wants to be significant and let's not pay attention to the fact that this is a fairy-tale character.
Being significant is one of the greatest human desires, for many even the meaning of life, so if you do everything to make a person significant, you will never have a question again. how to please people?
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If you liked this article, I want to please you - to be continued!
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