How is service in the Russian army going, is there hazing? What do they do in the army? What a conscript needs to know - legal advice.

Rumors, stories, publications in the press, high-profile scandals - all this creates a colorful picture of how service in the Russian army goes. In the minds of some, service in the ranks of the Russian army is a "school of life", in the minds of others - the fear of physical pain, the situation of complete lack of rights and subordination to the will of sergeants and officers. Let's figure out how military service is in modern Russia: what are the advantages of serving in the army, what should a conscript take to the army and to the assembly point, what does military service give.

Boys are taught from childhood that when they reach adulthood, they will become soldiers. The initial image of a soldier-defender of the Motherland does not cause negativity in most kids, and most of them do not think becoming a soldier is scary. Only later, during adolescence and youth, does a negative image of military service begin to form. By the time the time comes for the first time to appear for a medical examination at the military registration and enlistment office and receive a draft certificate, the conscript no longer wonders how long the service in the army is, because he knows that for conscripted military personnel the service life is 12 months and is calculated from the date of assignment of the military the rank of private. At the same time, the conscript begins to take an active interest in how the service in the army goes, the conditions of life in the army, the rules and traditions that prevail in the army environment.

When service in the army is getting closer, the stories of friends who have served about it occupy more and more attention of the conscript and make you seriously think about what the army is, what the conscript needs to know and whether he has enough strength to break away from his usual family life for a year. For some, this is a difficult life test, but for someone, long-term service in the Russian army does not scare - over time, they sign a contract and army life becomes a natural way of life for them.

In order for the memories of military service to remain good, an appropriate psychological attitude and good physical preparation are necessary.

The point is not even that military service implies high physical exertion, but that it provides for some violence against the person and a mandatory regime:
performing physical exercises at any time of the year, regardless of the weather;
minimum of household amenities;
change in sleep and rest;
change of climate and time zone;
transition to fairly monotonous food.

There is a simple answer to the question of how to prepare for military service - to learn to be as independent and collected as possible before the service, to get maximum self-service skills, to try to put your health and physical shape in order. All this will help to quickly and easily go through the adaptation period.

It has long been noted that young men who are accustomed to physical labor from childhood (village residents, representatives of working specialties) are easier to adapt to army service. The process of adaptation takes a little longer for conscripts who are physically weak. Service in the army after higher education is especially difficult due to the difference in age and sometimes the biased attitude of less educated colleagues towards a conscript with a “tower”.

Read also: Military service by conscription in the internal troops of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation

If desired, you can also get a military registration specialty (VUS). Higher education training is especially popular among conscripts who want to get a driver's license and later serve in the army as a driver. Young men who have been trained in the specialties of drivers and who have passed exams by military examination commissions receive a certificate that is the basis for passing qualifying exams at the local traffic police and obtaining a driver's license.

The initial registration of conscripts for military registration is carried out from January 1 to March 31 in the year they reach the age of 17 years. During the same period, a preliminary selection of recruits for training in the Higher Educational System is also carried out.

So, the army is just around the corner - what does the conscript need to know, what should he take with him to the assembly point? Citizens in respect of whom a decision has been made to call for military service are given a summons to appear at the appointed time at the military registration and enlistment office for subsequent dispatch to the assembly point and then to the place of military service. On the day of sending conscripts to the assembly point, they are required to have with them:
- passport of a citizen of Russia;
- registration certificate (on the same day, the registration certificate is withdrawn, and a military ID is issued in return);
- driver's license and certificate of the presence of VUS (if any);
- shoes and clothes (according to the season).

Wives, mothers or grandmothers often take care of the collections for sending to the military unit, who seek to supply the conscript with a mass of unnecessary and useless things in army life: warm knitted socks, scarves, etc. The advice on what to take to the conscript in the army, received from fathers and grandfathers who served several decades ago and recommending taking more needles and threads or a weekly supply of stew with you - since then a lot of water has flowed under the bridge, the norms and procedures for providing for the defenders of the Fatherland have changed a lot.

At the assembly point, all conscripts are provided with food and clothing in accordance with established standards. At the same time, after receiving a military uniform, the conscript has the right to send his personal belongings home from the local branch of the Russian Post free of charge (clause 8, article 20 of the Federal Law “On the status of military personnel”).

Often, recruits at the military registration and enlistment office at the place of residence are given a memo that lists things that you can take with you to the assembly point:
- toiletries;
- products (bread, canned food, condensed milk, water in a plastic bottle).

You can also take some cash with you, as there is often a small shop on the territory of the collection point, where conscripts can buy basic necessities.

The same memo from the military registration and enlistment office usually indicates what is forbidden to take with you to the assembly point, in particular:
- piercing and cutting objects;
- alcoholic drinks;
- any medications, unless prescribed by a doctor.

Arrival at the military unit, the course of a young soldier (KMB)

At the assembly point, conscripts can stay for several days while a “team” is being formed to be sent to a military unit. Immediately upon arrival at the unit, recruits are taken to the bathhouse and uniformed. Usually, the foreman's eyes are so swollen that he accurately determines the size and size of the issued form. But feel free to immediately ask to change any element of the form in size if it does not suit you. Tight shoes and headgear are the main cause of injury among recruits.

So first, let's get to know each other. My name is Igor. 1983 year of birth. Currently Entrepreneur. He was taken to the ramia in 2003 at the age of 20. Demobilized in 2005. He served in 2 parts of the Internal Troops of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

1) Part 6716 - Leningrad region Lembolovo.
2) Part 6117 - The city of St. Petersburg can be said on Dortsovaya Square itself)

How it all began.
I probably can’t say that I mowed, I just didn’t think about the army for the entire 20th anniversary. The police did not stop me, they simply did not pay attention to the subpoenas.
At one fine moment at work, I fired the Security Guard (I won’t go into details). Former Policeman. Fired in disgrace. In retaliation, he promised to send me to the army.
After 3-4 months on May 25, 2003. Right from work, 2 representatives of law enforcement agencies took me away, first to the police department and then immediately with a representative of the military registration and enlistment office immediately to the distribution point.
At that time I was 20 years old. For me it was a shock. There was depression and just a shock. Come Friends, Girl. There were tears, there were attempts by acquaintances to help me. Even I could hardly see how my friends in a drooping mood could hardly contain their emotions.

Action first. Distribution point.

So, at the distribution point, each conscript is interviewed. It is usually conducted by an experienced psychologist. To determine in order to determine which troops to send a soldier to. As an experienced dodger, in theory, they should have sent me away from my native St. Petersburg. But for some reason I made a good impression on the psychologist and he said that I would serve in a good place. And after waiting at the distribution point for 2 days, they took me to Lembolov (flax area)

Action two. Military unit 6717.

This is the usual training unit of the troops of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Simple tutorial. That is, in this part, sergeants are trained and then distributed to other parts of the NW district. There are about 600 people there. + -100.

Going to the army, it is not necessary to take ANY things with you. In our train, every soldier had a home lunch. Chicken, 1-2 blocks of good cigarettes, Lemonade, juices, socks, Wash items. Chewing gum, chips, etc.
All this was taken from us in the first 10 minutes of being in the company. They were only allowed to take mynorrylny accessories.

On the first day, we were all waiting for Dembel to take care of us (arrange elements of hazing). But this never happened. In general, there were no grandfathering with elements of violence at all throughout my stay in the unit.

The most difficult is the Stroitelnaya. Walking under the sun for 5-8 hours a day in footcloths and kerz boots is very difficult. The physical training there is usually a little stronger than at your school in a physical education lesson. Below is the schedule for the whole day.

5-50 Company Rise.
6-00-6-30 - Charging.
6-30-7-00 - Washing, making beds.
7-00 -8-00 - Cleaning the location of the company (Mopping and other things)
8-00-9-00 - Breakfast.
9-00 to 13-00 --- It's different for everyone. When cleaning the territory. When drill, when work in the classroom.
13-00 to 14-00 Lunch. Holy feast of the Spirit))
14-00 to 19-00 Again, according to everyone. From different part-time work to free time.
19-00 to 20-00 Dinner.
20-00 to 21-00 Usually watching the News, but sometimes also Housekeeping.
21-00 Evening verification of personnel begins. (Like the magazine at school)
22-00 --Company Light out. All sleep.

This is how the first half of the year of your stay in the educational unit passes. Basically, for the Spirits, in the intervals between meals, household chores + Fizukha + Combatant take place.

So first let's divide you into categories of people.

1) Simple ordinary guys. The character is calm. Not prone to conflict situations.
2) Party people. HIPI. Punks.
3) Cheerful Energetic people, love to chat.
4) Gopniks) They love to fight, They thumped at the civilians in the guards, smoked Gashik played cards, etc.
5) People who are not made for the army. Little skinny, with complexes.

So, the worst thing in the army is those who belong to points 2 and 5. BUT if the second ones are just joking for the first six months, sometimes they can kick. Then the latter should take into account hanging out in outfits in the dining room or in the Household Yard.

The guys from Point One serve quietly. often become sergeants.

The third point also works flawlessly. Often become the soul of the company. Also sergeants.

Strange as it may seem, but by and large, a greater number of Suetsides and Samovolok occurs with the 4th point of people. Since it is very difficult for them to adapt to a new way of life. And in the Army with such manners, you won’t last long. As a result, they have conflicts with the Dembel squad with the commanders of the Company, and as a result, they are simply pressed to the fullest. Those who have become demobilized treat spirits the worst. Because they are taking revenge for the way they were treated.

So the main rules for people who belong to all categories except 2.4 and 5.

1) In each part in the first-2 weeks you will be asked to complete a questionnaire. Be sure to fill out in detail, somewhere you can increase your abilities in order to beat your competitors. There are not many good places in the army.

2) Do you want a quiet service without Extreme? Follow the orders of Sergeants and Officers. Earn trust.

3) Don't let your comrades down. Glavneo rule in the Army. Nakasyachil One answers the whole company (platoon)

4) Do not knock. Don't rattling.

5) Less complexes. We had soldiers in our company who were embarrassed even to go to the Banya. No need for these children's complexes))

6) In any situation behave like Men. There is no place for the weak in the army. If you screwed up, then adequately accept the punishment.

7) Do not be afraid to give from the dacha. Be afraid to remain silent. If some Dembel wants to humiliate you, you should not be silent. Put aside your dignity. But at the same time, don't overdo it.

8) Dzhekichans are not liked in the army. If you are a master of sports in Boxing. It's worse for you if you turn on the show off. There is no reception against scrap))

9) No one will touch you. Each demobilization is an ordinary person who does not need unnecessary problems at all.

10) The officer is also an ordinary person in pagons. Don't be afraid to talk to them. They are like teachers in a school. Everyone has a sense of humor.

All in all, my half a year in Uchebka passed very quickly. And as I said, the most difficult thing is Drilling) The rest is trifles.

Part four. Life after school.
After training, you will be assigned to different parts of your district. If you were awarded the rank of junior sergeant, then be prepared for another 1-2 months of elephant service in a new place. Since, in addition to everything else, you will need to command demobilizations) Which at first really do not want to obey you)) But with time it will pass. If you are a junior sergeant, you are responsible for everything) And everyone will ask you. Therefore, there must be order both in the location of the company and in the tuplet.

If you have not received the rank of sergeant, then normal Cherpakovskaya service is already beginning for you) Minimum order, maximum rest.

In the future, you will enjoy the service very much)

Part Five. Conclusion and parting words.

1) Guys from myself I want to say that if it were not for the army, I would not have become the successful entrepreneur that I am to this day.

2) 1 year is quite a lot of time.

3) I would be happy to serve a term for you. For some reason, you are ready to spend hundreds of thousands for a slope. What for?

4) Almost every demobilized person leaves the army with tears. I saw off many and they all very much left with a proudly raised head.

5) The army is the place where people from all over Russia meet. Everyone has their own views, everyone has their own problems in the soul. One experience of communication with all these loves will be enough for you for the rest of your life. You won't find this kind of experience anywhere.

6) Going to the army as a Boy, you will return as a real Man. This I guarantee you.

7) Pay off the army, I advise the 2nd and 4th points of the young men. Because they have already ruined their lives. It will be hard for them to fix it.

8) I visit my company very often. Vsposnit, poobchatsya with officers.

I hope my story helps you. And you will understand that the Army life is a huge plus in your life.

I am proud of my service in the army. And I am very grateful to the Security Guard who once sent me there.

Successful service to you. If you have any questions I will be sure to answer.

The Russian army is a rather closed structure, issues are mainly resolved within the organization itself. On the one hand, the army has a policy of transparency, soldiers are allowed to use mobile phones, and on the other hand, official data on non-combat casualties of military personnel are reluctant to be announced. Correspondents of the site studied the stories of soldiers and the sad statistics of accidents and deaths among military personnel.

Why don't university graduates aspire to join the Russian army? What can new recruits expect and how to prepare for the service? As Chelyabinsk residents who have already served say, someone has long dreamed of getting into the service, and someone went to the military enlistment office in the hope that they would not be accepted. The stories of most recruits are the same. Some admit that they went into the army with the most pessimistic expectations, simply because they heard a lot of unflattering reviews.

Vyacheslav: “I got good physical training in the army. The army is such a catalyst for your abilities, an opportunity to test what you really stand for.

Nicholas: “I had to leave the army as an EW station operator. I saw the equipment in action once in a year - it did not work, and for the reporting photo, the company technician dragged the engine to make the lights blink. The rest of the time we just trained to “unfold” it.

Ivan: “Everyone served - grandfather, father, uncle, and I went. I do not support the opinion that the army is superfluous. I think that this is necessary for development, one of the stages in the formation of a man. Yes, of course, I can serve, but if we had to confront a professional army, it would not be a long war.

The opinions of retired South Ural residents agree that the main role in adaptation in the new team is played by the human factor. “Lucky with the officers - consider it survived,” the demobilized joke. It is not the structure itself that frightens the fledglings so much, but the closed male team into which they fall. Many feel uncomfortable in such conditions. Those who served in the army give advice to recruits and note that compliance with the necessary minimum of rules and initial physical training is the key to “survival”.

Ivan: “It is necessary to try to establish contact with people, to be active. But the most important thing is to understand what you want to get from the army, to have some kind of goal. Everyone gets exactly what they expect."

Nicholas: “You don’t need to do things in the army that are not welcome, for example, you don’t have to “extinguish” from service. It is necessary to do what others do and follow a minimum of rules.

Vyacheslav: "It is necessary to have great patience and not complain."

"Don't disturb your parents over trifles." The first thing they recommend to recruits is not to call their mother. “After a bruised knee is mentioned in a telephone conversation, worried parents can raise the whole company to their ears.”

“We had one guy,” says Nicholas, - he lost his phone and called his mother once a week from a mobile friend to tell him that everything was fine with him, then - his friend went to the hospital for a couple of weeks. Without waiting for the duty call from her son, the excited mother arrived at the company at the head of an entire delegation to make sure that nothing had happened to her son.

On the other hand, public figures assure that tragedies could have been avoided if relatives had managed to respond in time to alarm signals coming from the army. Yuzhnouralets, who died in April 2016 while on duty, in a conversation with relatives mentioned hazing on the part of the officer.

Alexey Kovalev, lawyer, leader of the human rights organization "Legal Consciousness":

“Yes, you never know in advance. You just need to communicate with your children. You need to talk to them before leaving for the army, prepare them for service. At the same time, the service itself, of course, should be purely voluntary.”

The hardest thing in the army is reserved people. During conflict situations, you won’t complain to officers, you don’t have friends, and you don’t want to disturb your mother. Failure to speak up can lead to tragic consequences. Deadly dramas played out more than once.

Nicholas: “There were no suicides in our battalion, but in a neighboring brigade a young soldier hanged himself. How it ended, I don't know. I only heard that the alleged reason was of a personal nature. But in another battalion, a suicide attempt was stopped - the guy tried to cut his hands with scissors, at least that's how it looked. He was stopped in time, then - commissioned.

Vyacheslav: “An officer shot himself in our division. They brought him. In general, there were people - they swallowed needles, cut their veins in order to lie in the hospital. There was also such a method of punishment - if a person framed the whole company, they did not talk to him for 1-2 weeks at all. It was very hard to bear.”

It is often impossible to foresee trouble: a year ago, a conscript from the Chelyabinsk region, who served in the ZATO Trekhgorny, was preparing for performances in honor of Victory Day.

Lawyer Alexey Kovalev sees the main problem in the fact that absolutely everyone is drafted into the army - according to the human rights activist, army service should be only voluntary.

“The bulk of the recruits are not trained and the army rejects them. While the army should consist purely of professionals. There would be fewer problems and tragic cases if the army was completely contractual.”

The soldiers themselves adhere to a similar opinion - either make the army completely contractual, or create such opportunities that contract soldiers and conscripts serving together are separated.

It is worth noting that the state is slowly but still moving in the direction of reforms: according to Rossiyskaya Gazeta, already in 2015 the number of contract soldiers in the army was as close as possible to the number of conscripts.

They remember the good times and the good ones. Most often they are associated with simple joys, for example, delicious food: how, in the company of colleagues, they cooked pasta with stew in the field or found a jar of honey forgotten by one of the officers.

Soldiers whose service ended happily eventually come to the conclusion that everything that happens to recruits in the army is "the hardships and hardships of military life" that the conscript must endure steadfastly.

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Hello! How to serve in the army, so as not to waste time? Should you serve? How to return from the army healthy (physiologically, mentally) and alive? Today I will tell you everything as it really is. The article is going to be huge but incredibly informative, so get ready for some thoughtful reading, especially for those who are about to join the military. Become! Begoooooom… MARCH!)

Should I join the army? Pragmatic waste of resources

I am always more interested in a pragmatic approach to any issue, i.e. in terms of the benefits of investing time / effort / money / and other resources. Now I will explain why.

Why waste resources on something that does not bring any particular benefit to you, if not now, then at least even in the future?

This is NOT RATIONAL! Why invest in an audio cassette business when CDs and better storage media have been around for a long time?

Why invest tens of thousands of rubles in an old Volga from the 1990s that breaks down every month when you can save up and invest that money in a newer model?

Why waste 5 years of your life on in the humanities, then to work as a sales manager at Euroset or pack burgers at McDonald's?

All of these are irrational actions that STEAL YOUR RESOURCES! Money, power and, most importantly, IRREVERSIBLE RESOURCE - TIME!

Resources in the world are LIMITED due to the fact that we live on a planet that has a number of irreplaceable resources. Many minerals and other resources are limited.

There are “conditionally” renewable resources, such as water, forest, clean air, peat in the ground, etc. Why conditionally? BECAUSE THEIR REPLENISHMENT TAKE A LOT OF TIME (for example, a birch is cut down instantly, and it grows, on average, 100-200 years).

In other words, the population is steadily growing at the same size of the planet, and RESOURCE CONSUMPTION EXCEEDS THEIR REPLENISHMENT!

That is why the COMPETITION FOR RESOURCES GROWS every year!

The more effectively a person interacts with the outside world, the more resources he has.

That is why it is very important to RATIONALLY DISTRIBUTE YOUR RESOURCES in order to increase the EFFICIENCY of INTERACTION WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD!

What you invest your resources in today will determine how you live tomorrow.

Your time is also a resource! And the most important, because. gone forever!

You can trade your time for an 8 hour workday in exchange for a monthly cash payment. You can trade 1-2 hours a day for the acquisition of some skill (for example, playing the piano) and then in 5-7 years you will become a professional in this matter.

Every day we are forced to change our time for sleep, because. there is no better way for the body to “reboot the system” after being awake.

We trade our time for other resources! The more efficiently we do it (invest in the right things), the more highly competitive resources we can rely on (more beautiful women, more expensive cars, better places to live, etc.).

The one who drank, smoked grass, fucked depraved women, spending all his money savings on them, will obviously be a less successful person than the one who invested his strength and money in obtaining any skill, skill, knowledge or business development.

The first led a destructive lifestyle and degraded (few restrictions, he used everything for momentary pleasures), while the second developed and improved himself physically, intellectually and spiritually every day (many restrictions, gave a lot now to get more later).

Therefore, it is very important to allocate your resources efficiently.

You must clearly understand what it will give YOU! What is it for you! After all, this is about your life!

That is why I believe that it is very important to decide whether you SPECIFICALLY need to join the army. WILL IT BE FAVORABLE FOR YOU?

After all, a YEAR OF LIFE is a huge investment and a very expensive luxury.

When should you join the army?

It's obvious that join the army only if it WILL IMPROVE THE CONDITIONS OF YOUR LIFE! I'm not just talking about money, because this is just one of the components of success and happiness.

A person who hangs out like “shit in an ice hole” with nothing to do and does not know what to do with his life, most likely, SHOULD GO to the army, because. this will make it possible to get a job in the army or police after the end of military service and receive a good salary.

A person who could not go anywhere after school, most likely, SHOULD GO TO SERVE, because. upon successful completion of the service, this will allow him to receive a certificate for out-of-competition admission to ANY UNIVERSITY IN THE COUNTRY!

A person who is WEAK physically and spiritually, most likely, SHOULD GO TO SERVE, because this will allow him to become MORE CONFIDENT IN himself and improve his health with a reasonable approach.

A person who strives for development most likely SHOULD GO to serve in the army, because. this will allow him to better understand the social interaction between the guys, to study many psychological aspects, learn to command and look for non-standard ways to solve problems.

Who doesn't have to join the military?

"Did not serve - not a man!". This statement, in my opinion, is too conservative. It went back to the times of the USSR, when the selection for the army was TOO HARD, and getting a job without a military ID was almost impossible.

They took only completely healthy guys.

The military ID said that:

1. THE MAN IS HEALTHY(good genetics means it can work and conceive HEALTHY children);
2. THE MAN IS PERSPECTIVE(can work at a good job, can feed offspring);

That is why before the girls did not even look at those who did not serve in the army, because. it said that these guys are LOSSERS (not healthy physically or mentally, can't get a good job).

That is why, once in his youth, my father, whom I love and am very proud of (he is the strongest person I know in my life), went to serve in the army with a VERY SERIOUS ILLNESS!

He had RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS! This is when very painful bumps on the joints pop up (the joints swell) and all movements cause wild pain.

He got it because immediately after a sore throat, he began to play sports. I immediately started running, pulling up, etc. He did not wait until the incubation period of the disease had passed.

He went to the military commissar to WRITE AN APPLICATION FOR MILITARY SERVICE OF OWN WILL!

In a literal sense, this means that: If I die, then I have no claims».

He went to serve. And about a miracle! Six months later, there was no trace of the disease! Under the influence of very strong stress, the disease receded!

The father had no other choice, because. either you serve and become more successful, or you don't serve and become a LOSS who is not respected and ignored by girls. My dad is an incredibly strong person, so he didn’t even have a choice.

But, all these are relics of those years.

To understand who is a man and who is not, it is necessary to consider what functions a man must perform in order to successfully interact with the outside world and ensure better survival of his offspring and family.

• QUALITY SPERM(genetics);
• PROTECTION OF THE FEMALE;
• PROCUREMENT RESOURCE MINING;

Tell me dear friend, who do you think would be more like a real man?

An unemployed man who served a year in any army, thumps after demobilization for six months in taverns, celebrating his "demobilization" or a man who did not serve in the army, but with three higher educations, a CCM in boxing, holding a high position in a large company, traveling to a business-class car, with a beautiful wife and two smart, beautiful kids?

If you yourself do not guess, then ask ANY WOMAN! Absolutely any woman will tell you that the SECOND MAN is MORE PREFERABLE and looks more like a real man.

Why? And everything is simple. Because the second man has the best genetics (since beautiful children), the best support resources (a car, a high position, three "towers"), he can protect his beloved woman (CCM in boxing).

While the demobilization destroys its genetic line (thumps), cannot protect (lost all service skills for half a year of a destructive lifestyle), has poor support resources (does not work).

Those. the second peasant (who did not serve) did not need to serve in the army in order to improve his living conditions. It happens.

Not to serve in the army is possible for a person who understands that the ARMY WILL MAKE HIS LIFE WORSE AND TAKE HIS TIME!

My brother did not serve in the army, but this did not make him “less a man”, because. became the BEST SPECIALIST IN APPLE COMPANY FOR PROGRAMMING IN SWIFT LANGUAGE! He knew where to move and developed in this direction.! He couldn't afford to waste time. the army would have fewer resources (time, effort, money) for development in this direction.

Do you understand? I'm exaggerating, but I think the meaning is clear. YOU MAY NOT BE SERVED IF IT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE WORSE OR STOP YOUR DEVELOPMENT!

Those. if you ALREADY HAVE your own successful business, then, most likely, you do not need to join the army. If it disappears without your participation, then it's not worth it.

If you already have children and a wife, then most likely you do not need an army, because. you need to focus on raising them and supporting (financially and morally) a wife.

You must feel BENEFIT for yourself first of all.

There is one caveat, if you think that you will not join the army and something is about to happen that will change your life or you have some kind of business idea that you think will work, then YOU SHOULD GO TO THE ARMY!

First, all this is ambiguous and sounds very doubtful. Most likely, you will “hover” somewhere in the clouds, wasting your time. You will be like "motivated donkeys" .

Secondly, you can think about your idea in the army and collect the necessary information. In this case, you will receive a military ID (a guarantee of a stable job and admission to a university), and learn how to put yourself in a male team, and prepare well to launch something of your own after service.

So, if you still decide that you need to serve, then welcome to the next part of the article, in which I will tell you all the delights of military service.

Deep exhalation

After receiving a summons to the military registration and enlistment office (usually comes to the university to the department or home), you will be assigned a date for arrival at the checkpoint. It's too early to piss, because this is not yet a checkpoint.

You should be examined, and you should determine the date when you need to appear at the military registration and enlistment office for a control appearance. Must be told what to bring.

It’s better not to rush to take everything in a row, because. upon arrival at the unit at the KMB (course of a young fighter), you will throw away almost everything! I'm serious. Just collect all the food in a bag and throw it away. And put all the things that are “not prescribed by the charter” in another bag and they will mysteriously dissolve forever in the “kapterka” (ensign’s office =))

Here's what to take with you:

• Toothbrush(conventional, not electric);
• Toothbrush case(from two halves);
• cheap cleanser(I had acne, so it’s relevant. Inexpensive, because they can steal);
• Soap(just in case, they may not give at first);
• Shaving accessories(disposable machines, foam, lotion);
• One or two pairs of socks(you can stay at the checkpoint for a couple of days);
• Toilet paper(there is an eternal deficit in the army);
• Pen, notebook, stroke corrector, marker(you will brand ALL things so that they do not steal!);

ALL! You don't need to take anything else. This is what you should take to the military registration and enlistment office for a control turnout!

Dress in non-stinging clothes (later you will change into an army uniform that will be with you all year). You can go to the military office.

I remember, before that day, when I went to the military registration and enlistment office, I had some kind of incomprehensible feeling inside. On the one hand, it is VERY CURIOUS what is there “on the other side”, on the other hand, it is EXCITING, because. a little scary uncertainty.

The day before the control turnout, I shaved for the first time in my life under the nozzle (under 6 mm), my head became like an egg. We sat with a friend (with whom we went to the army on the same day) on a bench in front of our hostel and laughed! It was not even hysterical laughter, but simply laughter from a complete misunderstanding of the situation.

It was funny, we are leaving for a whole year, it is not clear where, it is not clear with whom, and it is not clear what to do next.

Behind 5 years of study at the University, confidence in a bright future and an unquenchable desire to change the world, because. we are not like everyone else. Not so dull, not so gray, not so broken.

There was a sense of emptiness inside. You do not understand what awaits you, but uncertainty scares you.

I even recorded a video message to myself, who served in the army, to watch it a year later. But after the army, he didn’t even watch it, because. It felt like kindergarten to me. When I find this video, I'll throw it here, below this paragraph. But I'm kinda embarrassed

I got up in the morning, it was July 1, took a deep breath, took a bag with things, dressed in non-stinging clothes and went to the military registration and enlistment office.

Control turnout at the military registration and enlistment office

I went to the recruiting office in sunny, warm, beautiful weather. I was glad that I was “free” for the time being, but I could not fully appreciate all this.

« I will not forget this year, and the color of the barracks wall... Those who have not lost their freedom at least once will not understand its price.»

I came. A large room, a bunch of some incomprehensible bald people, everyone is waiting in line to receive a military ID (it is issued at the beginning to put a stamp on departure to the duty station, and it will be with you all the time!).

I received a ticket, I saw acquaintances from my hometown, classmates from the university, we sit, we laugh. Passed some psychological tests (you will pass them at least 10-20 times “before” and during the service). Then we went through the honey again. commission (you will pass 3-4 times for sure).

When all these not cunning procedures were completed, we were all gathered into one heap in one formation and taken “to the high-rise” (as we call the point of departure to the duty station).

July 1st is Sunday! "Buyers" - that's what they call those military men who come to the checkpoint and recruit soldiers for military service in their units, they don't pick them up on weekends! What for then, one asks, to call for a control turnout these days?

Those. "buyers" will arrive only tomorrow. Today we need to spend the night in the barracks "on a high-rise". There was a barracks there, because. we have a military unit there. Many shipping points don't even have beds, and there may be no "customers" for a week or even two. Well, future soldiers sit there all this time (sleep on chairs or often on the floor), do not wash (or wash under cold water taps), etc.

All this time is NOT included in the service life. Those. you arrived at this point on July 1, if you left for your duty station on July 15, then your service began on July 15, and not on the first! Those. in fact, you will serve more than 15 days.

The funniest thing is when someone has a birthday at this time (before he left yet)! He misses one birthday, and a year later the second (because he will still be in the army). Such are the "pleasant little things."

At the point of departure, we went in herds to meals and, in general, almost everywhere outside the barracks.

In the evening, through the fence, I managed to talk with my parents, get a package of food from them (after all, in the unit they fed very hard).

It still doesn’t look like a service at all, just some kind of herd of bald monkeys around, a solid mat, pissed toilets and local “grandfathers” in the barracks who were supposed to monitor all this chaos.

On the one hand, it was fun when a herd of 300 people stood at the evening verification and some kid (who is the local “grandfather”) tried to restore order and rein in all these people, conducting the evening verification.

He calls the names in turn, and the one whose last name was sounded answers “I!”.

The verification took an hour and a half, because. constantly some (always different) smart guy out of order managed to send this “grandfather” into three letters)) And the verification began anew according to the list (15 times). Fun.

In general, I will not tell everything in detail, but I will give one interesting piece of advice:

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WHILE YOU ARE AT THE DEPARTURE POINT!

You are still civilians, not military men, so far no one can command you, neither officers, nor, all the more so, all sorts of incomprehensible "grandfathers".

Somehow the “grandfather” tried to force me to wipe the floor at the departure point, I sent him to the most obscene place, then the second one came up, and was sent there too. They CANNOT touch! If you are touched and have an injury or a bruise, then your buying officer will be responsible for you, who will bring you to the unit like that. They know it and are afraid.

NOTHING YOU SHOULD DO! Send three letters without hesitation. It is not necessary to give bream, because. Still, this is a military man and it is punishable. And no one will do anything for you. Just cut the ram and that's it. "I won't do it! Do whatever." Even if they call a local ensign or officer to order you, do nothing either. He is not authorized to do this.

Let's start!

The officers arrived the next day. They looked at all the personal files, what we are, etc.

If you have a driver's license of categories "B" and "C", then you can easily get into the unit as a driver, but think about whether you need it. Respect you, most likely, no one will, because. such positions in the army are called "resolved", i.e. where you work less (“suck in”). You will carry the commander of the unit, the chief of staff or some other bump on the UAZ and you will not blow your mustache.

But you will walk around dirty like a pig, because. you will spend time under the car all the time.

If you don't give a damn about this, then you can ask for the so-called. "author" if you want to go through all the hardships of army service, then you are not here. It's more of a hermit's lifestyle.

If your health has let you down somewhere, you have category “B”, then you can get into any other troops. Absolutely any. From artillery to the Air Force and the Strategic Missile Forces, anywhere. What you were told in the military registration and enlistment office, you can practically not take into account, everything can change at the point of departure.

I ended up in the Strategic Missile Forces (RVSN).

It’s generally funny here, they can slip you clothes of any size, try to stand your ground, no bullshit like “Come on, then you will change part” should not bother you. Be persistent! Ask to change, you will be in this all year, most likely. It will be uncomfortable, fuck you.

Changed, came to the barracks. The “grandfathers” attacked there again, they wanted to force them to wash the floors (like, we are already military, since the seal is in the military), according to the old scheme, we send these sheep to hell, because. you are attached to YOUR officer, you can tell him (no one here will consider you “red” - you will not be considered a snitch).

Watch your things! Pack a pea coat, quilted pants, put all the “goodies from home” into a thing. bag. And sit on top of it so that no one drags you away. In the army, "rat-mongering" (theft) flourishes "with a bang."

When it's time to go to the station, then carefully check your things, get in line and go forward with a smile and a little dumb look))

There is a high probability of getting into one group and part together with the guys you know from your university or even from the city. Compatriots in the army always, as a rule, stick together.

Upon arrival at the station, to the train, give your parents or friends your things from which you changed. DO NOT take too much food with you. Take only what you eat on the train, because. everything else will go to the trash!

You may not take much food at all. You will be given an army dry ration on the road, there is approximately 2800 kcal. Here's what's inside the solder:

• stew;
• vegetables;
• rice or buckwheat, barley;
• biscuits (“cardboard cookies”, which cannot be eaten without jam);
• jam (very handy for biscuits);
• concentrate for a drink (very tasty, much tastier than “Invite” and “Jupi” much));
• multivitamins (judging by the appearance, “Complivit”);
• warmer (“tablets” on alcohol + mini-metal stand);
• sugar;
• etc.

This is enough for you to eat.

KMB. Level: "SMELL"

After the train, you will go to the place of service.

You will most likely take the course of a young fighter, but it may also be that you get into the "training school", this is the same KMB, only not for a month, but for six months)) Well, after you get into the unit, it will be difficult for you get along with the team, because in a few months everyone has already rallied, created mini groups, they don’t know who you are and what you are capable of.

I will talk about KMB, because. went through it myself.

There are many more who you know (came with you). You will be taught to the mind of the mind how to pass the future service.

Immediately you will be lined up in one formation, the commander of the training battalion will tell you to dump all your things on the floor in front of you. Then he will tell you to throw out all the fucking unnecessary garbage and put everything back.

They will give you towels, slippers, soap and all the rest of the garbage.

Barracks are of two types:

1. Regular barracks(where everyone sleeps in one, two, three locations);
2. kubricks(such as a room for 8 people in which soldiers live);

We had the usual standard barracks with sleeping "layouts" (layouts).

You will be given a platoon leader (officer or sergeant) who will be your "boss".

Now you have received the out-of-statutory title "SMELL".

You will be trained on the Young Fighter Course (KMB) for 2-6 weeks. Hemming, dressing quickly, they will conduct drill and military training classes, you will learn all sorts of articles of the charter and hand them over.

Lights out (go to bed) at 21:30 or 22:00.

The most interesting thing is that in the army I STARTED DREAMING! They are very distinct and similar to reality (apparently due to severe stress). I have seen the same dream dozens of times, how I am talking to someone from my family, and someone says to me: “ Nikit, you somehow quickly served, you still have 346, 273, 224, 185, etc. days home...».

The dream was repeated dozens of times. And the figure has always been more than accurate. But because the time you have left to go home literally crashes into your brain.

Almost every soldier has such a calendar in which he pierces holes with a needle every day. One hole, one day. Everyone does it after dinner.

And in general, according to tradition, it is believed that the day ends after dinner, and not after 00:00, because. after dinner, free time (to sew, wash, shave, cut your hair, put yourself in order), evening walk (walk in a circle around the parade ground and sing army songs), evening verification and lights out. In fact, the day is over just after dinner, because. nothing more serious is expected.

You will get up at 5:30 or at 6 in the morning for a run and exercises, after which you want to die and sleep.

By the way, from the very beginning I got myself a “personal army diary” in which I wrote down all my thoughts. Get it too, useful thing. It is very interesting to read your thoughts with KMB (such a kindergarten) in the middle or at the end of the service).

Maybe even go to the "field exit". You will live in a field barracks, “sheltered”, i.e. wear a combined-arms protective kit (OZK - that's still hemorrhoids), etc. DON'T SHOOT!

I will not go into all the details, which are VERY MUCH, you will understand everything

By the way, at the KMB a lot of soldiers end up in the hospital! Sinusitis and bloody legs are favorites, among this "calicie hit parade". “Kalichs” in the army are those who constantly end up in the hospital and get sick a lot. Subsequently, few people respect them.

Watch your feet! Wash them very carefully! EVERYDAY! Wash your socks (we had footcloths), many pig soldiers do not wash them, but immediately hang them up to dry. As a result, the stink in the dryer is incredible.

Take nose drops with you to the army, because. first, the body adapts, and you can get sick against the background of reduced immunity and DISGUSTING NUTRITION!

Oooh, we need to stop here! The food there is just disgusting. You will understand what it is to DREAM about normal food.

At KMB, even the most FAT lose weight beyond recognition. Our guys lost 20 kg PER MONTH! .

With us, some soldiers took with them many pieces of bread from the dining room to eat later, because. I want to eat ALWAYS!

By the way, you will be surprised, but you will not see the plugs NEVER during the service! There are only spoons in the canteens. This is done for safety so that you, in the field exit, for example, jumping off the BMDS (duty combat vehicle) do not stick it in your ass.

Do you know what a “funny” punishment was if a soldier was found with a piece of bread?

The whole company stands up at point-blank range and does push-ups, while this soldier stands in front of the whole company and in public, in front of everyone, tries to stuff all the pieces of bread into himself with a dry ration.

Such is the fun.

Already on the KMB, soldiers experience severe emotional stress, especially those who are heavier than a computer mouse in their hands have never held anything in their lives.

I quite often saw nervous breakdowns, tears, tantrums. And I'm talking about guys, guys! It happens to a lot of guys.

For some, in the literal sense, “the roof is going”. One guy with us, after an officer yelled at him, just sat on a stool and “hung”. I just sat and looked at one point. At first it was funny, but when he sat like this for 12 hours in a row, practically not moving, and did not react to any commands, slaps in the face, and other attempts to stir him up, it became no laughing matter.

When he was taken to the hospital, they diagnosed him with SCHIZOPHRENIA! Can you imagine? The guy was taken into the army with schizophrenia. That's it.

One guy was constantly crying and asking for his mother. He had constant nervous breakdowns, tantrums, he was shaking at night, he woke up and screamed. After some time, he was discharged from the army with some rare mental disorder, but in our company it got a simple name: "longing for mom."

There is also a very “exciting” game, “three squeaks”. This is when you lie down on the beds with the whole company after the “hang up” command, and the officer or contract sergeant walks through the barracks and counts until three squeaks of beds are heard in the barracks. Those. the essence of the game is that you must lie VERY QUIETLY and not move.

If the officer counted three squeaks, then the command sounds: “ROTA, Rise!”, And you must get dressed and get into line as soon as possible (in 45-60 seconds).

We climbed like this 15-20 times. In the end, it's really not funny anymore. Imagine you after a very hard day for another hour and a half, instead of sleeping, doing complete garbage. But it’s funny, when you have already stood up several times, the officer again counts three creaks, then while everyone is dressing there are such mats all over the barracks))) Everyone “thanks” each other)))

I think you will still “play enough” in this game if you go into the army.

At the end of the KMB, an oath awaits you. You must swear allegiance to your Fatherland. You will be preparing for this event for a very long time. You will walk the parade ground for hours at a marching pace until everything works out. And it will not work out for a very long time, because. there is always such a “crane” in the platoon that goes out of step.

By the way, COLLECTIVE PUNISHMENT is practiced in the army! For example, some "deer" smoked in the toilet, everyone gets up at point-blank range and begins to do push-ups.

Hence, there is such a popular expression in the army: “ A FAUCET IN THE MOUTH, A COMPANY IN THE Sweat!

They can, of course, not punish the whole company, but one person who “particularly distinguished himself”, if, for example, he didn’t tell the duty of the orderly at night, or missed the “terrorist” (dummy, of course).

We have some guys doing 1500 push-ups, no, not 150, but 1500! Who said it's impossible? Maybe! You are not limited by time! You can do push-ups for at least 3 hours! The main thing is that you can’t get up from the lying position. So they pressed on. You will do your first 60-70 push-ups, then you will rest, you will do 5 more times, you will rest again, and so on until you reach 1500 push-ups.

For the first time in my life I saw such a thing that a person stands in an emphasis while lying, and under him is a real PUDDLE OF SEAT! Not a couple of drops, but a PUDDLE! As if he had been doused with water from a bucket.

There are always jokes on the oath)) One of us said: “I serve the Soviet Union”, okay))

You take an oath and receive the following non-statutory rank - "SPIRIT" and the statutory title - "Private".

Relatives and friends come to you for the oath, you can walk around the city, finally eat. By the way, you will shove everything in yourself. I remember how I had grilled chicken in one hand, Snickers in the other, I stuffed it all into myself and washed it down with cola, and ate ice cream on top. Such is the "hunger".

You will already be told at that moment which part you will fall into.

After being fired and meeting with relatives, you return to the barracks, and then the fun begins ...

The first six months in the army. Level: "SPIRIT"

There was a feeling in my head that it was all a dream and everything would end quickly, that a lot of time had already passed and there was nothing left to serve. A month has passed. 11 months ahead...

I ended up in a unit called "Technical Missile Base". ONE of two departments (54 people) at KMB. There was intense emotional stress. Very tough.

I'm going somewhere all alone, with an ensign in the car.

When I arrived at the unit, I realized that the tin was going on full. What was at the KMB is a kindergarten.

I'M ALONE! You can’t talk to anyone, you don’t know what to do until you are assigned to any group. Again, some psychological tests, etc.

When I arrived, I immediately went with the company for breakfast (at 8:15 in the morning).

I got up at the very end of the line. Let's go, sing a song ("Katyusha", as I remember).

In the canteen, the last one received food, he did not know where to sit at the table. I tried to sit down with the guys, where there was almost a free table, they sent me away (it turned out they were "grandfathers").

He sat down with another guy (also a “grandfather”), but he didn’t drive him away, talked to me, it turned out that no one really respects him (later it turned out).

I will not go into all the subtleties, the emotional shock is simply colossal. There is nowhere to run, no one to speak out, and there are as many as 11 months of service ahead ...

It turned out that I was in the company BLACK DEMBEL(like he came last from the KMB to the unit)! There are some features that are observed in some parts. “Grandfathers” couldn’t touch me, but after I become a grandfather, I couldn’t touch anyone either.

We didn't give a damn about it, but in some parts it may be present.

Later, a guy came to our company who left for demobilization one day later than me (July 3), so I was no longer a black demobilization))

By the way, he was Azerbaijani, so he was jokingly called BLACK-BLACK DEMBEL)))!

Keep your things with you! I'm serious. If you throw your thing bag somewhere in the "kapterka", then consider it "gone"! The old-timers (“grandfathers”) will “sneak” (dig up) everything and steal everything they see fit.

By the way, you can bring what is left of the oath (there will be a lot of food) with you and treat your future colleagues, this is a sign of good taste. And in general, get used to sharing in the army. Today you helped, tomorrow they will help you.

In all these months (until the “grandfathers” leave), you will most likely “suck in” (work a lot). Clean snow, wash floors, go to outfits in a company, induce PCBs (“park and economic day”, or in soldierly: “completely x*yovy day”). Usually PCB happens on Saturday.

You take all the beds to the center and scrub the floors with soap so that there is a lot of foam, then you wash off (tighten) all this foam with a rag and wipe it dry. This is what "fun" is.

At this stage, it is very important to socialize, it is not in vain that they say "one man is not a warrior." This is true. No matter how strong you are, you can be "smothered".

We had an MMA fighter (fought in a cage for 6 years), 4 years of Thai boxing, so what? His "grandfathers" were not allowed into the gym (not allowed), and he went to complain to the officers, after that he received the shameful "proud" title of "RED" (snitch), and his life in the barracks changed ...

At night, they painted his badge red, put a trench coat on a belt (such a thing into which a belt is inserted so that it does not hang out), they are only worn in the army by informers and those whom everyone does not respect, and finally they pissed the bed. Here is such a case.

Moreover, the more he complained, the more they “shitted” him. After all this, he had to be transferred to a new part, because. serve him was simply unrealistic.

Yes, by the way, it will be IMPOSSIBLE to go to the ROCKING CHAIR while you are the "spirit"! This is fucking weird… Can you imagine? In the army, you can’t go to the rocking chair, that’s tin. It didn't fit in my head!!!

But I got out. After everyone fell asleep at night, I pumped the press right in bed.

When there were sports mass events (usually, on Sundays, they are called a “sports festival”), I pulled myself up with special zeal, did push-ups on the uneven bars, squatted with my own weight, ran (everyone ran 5 km, on average), etc. In general, he worked in the "workout" mode. I wrote about how to build muscle on the horizontal bar .

Need to be in a group. Look for friends, ie. those who are close to you in terms of intellect and spirit (as a rule, these are guys from your group / department or cockpit). Help each other and help out.

For all sorts of jambs, the whole company gets hit on the neck by the officers, and then, if the whole company got into a mess because of the “young”, then at night they “rock” him (does push-ups and crouches to the last sweat). Such is the prevention.

Don't be a "faucet" (the one that "hit" the whole company).

“The crane is in the company, the company is in sweat!”, remember this.

There are two sides in the army: REGULATED and NON-REGULATORY!

Statutory, as a rule, lasts until 18:00 (as long as your officers are in the company), after 18:00 another life begins ... Then the “old” (“grandfathers”) control the company.

Do not let yourself be broken, do not indulge all whims (give / bring), but also do not climb into the embrasure with the words “I WILL TEAR EVERYONE”. Maybe you will tear it, but then you won’t find notebooks, a toothbrush, or even your pea jacket in your nightstand. It will just be stolen from you.

By the way, you will BRAND all your things! Barcode corrector! Write group number, parts, initials, etc.

I'll give you some great advice here. When you come to the unit, there will be a lot of “wise men” who will want to “squeeze” your things from you, because. they will be new! And instead, to give you their dirty, worn, smelly.

DO NOT GIVE YOUR ITEMS TO KAPTERKA while you are young! You can hide them in things. bag!!! Or somewhere else.

But another cool trick is to BRAND THEM SO that you can immediately see that these are your things!!! I wrote my initials in HUGE LETTERS INSIDE THE pea jacket and quilted jackets, etc. HUGE! It can be said, FILLED the entire interior with a stroke. And you know what? I was practically the only young man whose pea jacket was not touched)))

Because the “old-timers” didn’t want to go to the demobilization in a pea coat that was dirty from the inside))) At home, they would probably have been put in a cradle that they came in someone else’s. But it works! BRAND IN HUGE LETTERS!

Important advice at this stage:

Stay neutral! You don’t have to wash and clean anything for anyone, but don’t get into hostility. Better pretend to be "fool".

There is another option, if there are more of you (and, as a rule, it is, if you are from the summer draft), then UNITE all the young! This is difficult, because in the first six months, everyone shits on each other, but it can be done. Agree with everyone and just SEND TO FUCK ALL "GRANDFARS". Open. Nothing to put them in.

This is very difficult, because everyone is scared, but believe me, they are even more afraid if there are more of you. Read on the Internet an experiment about "exploiting rats and exploited rats", you will understand everything.

In general, communication with "grandfathers" who consider themselves above all is best avoided, this will not lead to anything good. You can break loose and slap these assholes in the face, and for this you can sit in the DISBAT (disciplinary battalion) for 1.5-3 years, which will not be included in the service life, do you need it?

There is no concept of "light bodily injury" in the army. A BLUE is a BODY INJURY OF MEDIUM GRAVITY! And for this they give up to 2.5 years of PRISON! You heard right, in the army you can go to PRISON! A real prison. You will have a criminal record and time after service. You don't need it. Control yourself.

A blow to the stomach can lead to a rupture of the spleen, a blow to the leg to bruises, fractures, swelling and bruises, and a blow to the face to a broken jaw, for which YOU WILL GO TO JAIL!

There are a lot of “SHAVOK” in the army who throw words, these are not men, but weak jerks who hide because they cannot be hit. You should have seen how funny it looked when such a “son” weighing 45 kg shouts at me, which can be broken in half with a crack. But he understands that I am a normal man, and I am afraid to break him. This kind of impunity is very relaxing for such fools.

In my unit, there was a case when such a 45-kilogram “grandfather” (“old-timer”) tried to humiliate a guy from my draft in this way. It all ended with an accidental kick in the groin of the "grandfather" (the guy from my draft missed his leg) and he had only ONE TESTICLE left (the second was smeared after a kick, he was cut off)!!! Such is the case. The guy at the age of 19 was left with one testicle. Sorry, especially girls, for the details.

Be careful and watch your hands and feet! Do not hit unless absolutely necessary, and if you hit, hit the soft tissues(butt, hips, shoulders, chest, etc.).

In the first six months, you will feel that you are all alone, no one is your friend or comrade, you will miss your loved ones, etc. Most importantly, STAY GOING! It will be difficult, but it can be endured.

You must understand WHY IT'S FOR YOU! Remember what I said at the beginning of the article? Understand your benefit in this (become more courageous, out-of-competition admission to a university, Masha will give from the third entrance, etc.). Think about your benefit!

It is better to go to the army in the summer (spring draft), because. with old-timers you will stay only 3-4 months (until December, maximum). If you go to autumn, then 8-9 months, and this is tough.

Yes, and when it is winter and snowfalls, your young ones will already clean the snow))

The most difficult thing is not to go to anyone in the face. A colossal psychological test. But it must be endured.

Shooting during this segment of the service leaves a very strong impression (or sometimes it happens that you do not get to the shooting for a long time). In case you haven't figured it out yet, you will be firing BATTLE WEAPON, which is meant for real killing, with real LIVE CARTRIDGES.

I remember that little trembling inside after I got my ammo horn at the shooting range and ran “to the position” from which I was supposed to shoot at the targets. Now I am aiming, the command “FIRE!”, And I am shooting bursts at rising targets like in a fog. The feeling is incredible. All instincts are sharpened.

All this is for real. There were cases (not with us, but in the army, in principle) that animals accidentally ran out to the shooting range or foresters, mushroom pickers and others came out. The soldiers and officers did not notice them, and the soldier stuffed the poor fellow with bullets. Naturally, after that, instant death.

As you can imagine, it's creepy. But death happens in the army.

We also threw live grenades. Real, combat, fragmentation grenades. At first there were exercises, they threw training grenades, and then, a week later, we went to live firing.

As I remember now, you get a grenade, run along the trench to the position, wait for the command “FIRE!”, pull out the ring, hold the pin and throw the grenade 30-50 meters under the target. Then you sit down in a trench, cover your ears (so as not to get shell shock or go deaf for a while) and you hear a powerful, deafening explosion. Often, earth, branches, stones, etc. fly from the explosion to the trench.

Accidents happen. But if you do everything correctly, and not be a “faucet”, then everything will be fine.

Level: "ELEPHANT"

If you are a normal guy (from the point of view of "grandfathers"), i.e. do not knock, obey when necessary and strong in spirit (if you “bend your line”, show that you are a strong man, then it will be easier to unite with you than to fight), then you will be TRANSFERRED TO ELEPHANTS!

This army hierarchy collapsed a little after the abolition of 2 years of military service, but in many parts this tradition has been preserved. We had.

Some outside the statutory titles (such as "scoop") ceased to exist, but "ELEPHANT" is a special step.

This is the stage when you can act like a "grandfather" before the "old" ones left. Privileges are ridiculous for an ordinary person, but in the army they are very valuable.

For example:

• You can wear a cap and hat on the back of your head(according to the charter, it can be worn only at a distance of 2 fingers from the eyebrows, not higher);
• You can put your hands in your pants pockets(in the army you can’t keep your hands in your pockets, for this you can sew up your pockets if the officers or “grandfathers” see you while you are still a “spirit”);
• You can walk with an unbuttoned tunic(for 2 buttons);
• Can you walk with a loose belt(the plaque dangles a little);
• You can hem with a thick hem(according to the charter, the hemming should be in 2 layers, the size of 2 fingers);
• You can wear the belt below(in pockets on a pea jacket);
• You can lie on the bed in your free time while the "spirit" sits "on the chip". "Chip" is a place where you can see from afar when officers are approaching. The “spirit” is put “on the chip” (usually on a chair near the “take-off” - a passage through the center, between the sleeping arrangements), all the “grandfathers” and “elephants” can lie on the bed or sit on the phones if an officer is approaching (went into the barracks ), then the “spirit” shouts “CHIP!”, And everyone gets out of bed, sits on chairs, puts away their phones and becomes exemplary soldiers))) “On the chip” can be put not only in the barracks, but anywhere where you need to tell, when an officer, warrant officer or contract sergeant goes.
• You can use your phone whenever you want(well, of course, not with officers);
• You can stand forward in the dining room, along with the "grandfathers"(he who receives food earlier has more time to eat);
• You can work less("Spirits work, the elephant contemplates");
• Etc.

All this in the army is worth its weight in gold and makes life much easier.

For me personally, this was a period of EXCELLENT DEVELOPMENT! I finally started going to the gym, with great enthusiasm! I will not talk about how to pump up in the army, this article is already GIANT! The biggest one on my blog. I'll explain it better in future articles. . In the army, I gained 7 kg of DRY muscle mass.

I started writing huge letters home even more often! Now it is very interesting to read them!

And much more.

How to translate into "elephants"

Only “grandfathers” or “demobilizations” can translate into “elephants”. "Demobilizations" become "grandfathers" automatically after the order on September 27 or March 27, for each call, respectively.

They do it differently. In our unit it was like this: you go with the “grandfather” (who decided to “relax” you - this is the name of the process of transferring to “elephants”) to the dryer or toilet, the “grandfather” takes off the belt from his pants and holds the canopy in his hand .

At some point, he lets go, and you have to catch him, at what distance from the badge you caught, at such a distance the “grandfather” takes him in his hand (the smaller the distance to the badge, the better, because the smaller the swing).

Next, you take off your belt, clamp it in your teeth, and stand at point-blank range. “Grandfather” hits you in the ass 6 times with a badge on a belt (taken at a distance at which you caught), you go nuts from how painful it is (some even had stars from the badge in their soft spot).

Then you get up, grandfather tears off the hemming from your collar (this means that now you can hem with a hemming of any thickness, it is very convenient and pleasant for the neck, because it is soft), then tears off the second button on the tunic (you can walk with the top of the tunic unbuttoned) , lifts your cap to the back of your head, relaxes the belt (now you are “relaxed” or “elephant”).

Those who have been transferred from "spirits" to "elephants" are immediately visible. So a person emphasizes his dominance over the rest. “I was relaxed, so I’m a normal kid,” something like that.

Funny, right? To become a "normal kid" you have to be beaten in the ass)) In civilian life, all this seems nonsense, but in the "other world", this is a great privilege.

After that, serving becomes easier and more fun. After that, you begin to honor outside the statutory traditions of army service, and hazing seems to you not such a bad thing, because now you have one foot on the dark side of the force.

Level: "Grandfather"

After all the old-timers have gone to the “demobilization”, you automatically become “grandfathers”. Here you can do the same thing that you could do with “elephants”, only here a couple more not frail nishtyaks are added.

Well, the most important thing is that you are now the most senior call! You will work much less. Most of the work (sweeping, leveling beds, removing snow, washing floors during PCBs, etc.) will be done by "spirits" who will come to you almost as soon as your "grandfathers" leave.

The officers will stop it (which you liked while you were the "spirit"), but now it's the other way around. You will try to avoid the officers as only they can force you to do some work, which, by the way, can then be entrusted to the “spirit” from your group.

You will need to learn to lead. In the army, everything is simple. Either you command or you are commanded.

Some of your call-up by this time will become squad leaders (they will be given the title of "junior sergeants").

The "spirits" that come to the unit will act like fools (remember how you did it, mmm?))) You stand your ground. When you manage to get this or that “spirit” to do the work several times, then he will develop a “learned helplessness syndrome”, he will think that he must obey. Remember this syndrome from the article: “”

When I served, I took a different path. I politely asked all my guys of the young draft to do the work, allowed some of them to immediately go to the rocking chair, protected some from the guys of my draft. Over time, they have become very respectful to me.

My conscience does not allow me to mock other people. I built relationships on mutual respect and trust. I never stole anything in the army (not even toilet paper), I did not humiliate or beat soldiers.

As a rule, those who were bullied the most by the "grandfathers" then most of all rush to the young. Don't be animals. Those who bully others will definitely get a kick in the head for it. NECESSARILY! This is the essence of global balance.

Advice: DON'T HUMILATE THE YOUNG("SPIRIT").

Remember how hard it was for you in the beginning. Yes, give them more work, you deserve a little indulgence, but set a good example. Show how fast you can hem, how much you can shake in the gym, how much you can pull yourself up. Show your superiority in more interesting things.

“You can’t humiliate a person without humiliating yourself with him ...”(Booker Tagliaferro Washington)

Remember this.

Usually it is at this time that a lot of photos from the army appear (you just need to make sure that the officers do not “burn out”).

The most pleasant memories remain from this segment of the service. Enjoy it and don't waste time.

Over9000 experience. Level: "Demobilization"

You become demobilized after the order. The order, as a standard, is issued 2 times a year:

• September 27(for the dismissal of the autumn draft);
• March 27(for the dismissal of the spring draft);

By this time, if you are a normal guy (didn't "rummage around" a lot in hospitals), then you have a lot of experience in army affairs.

You know what where to hide so that they don’t find it, you know how to go to the “chip” (an army store on the territory of the unit) “without a fawn”, how to “extinguish” from work, who can be “charged” for a certain front of work, who can ask to hem you or make a demobilization (form for demobilization).

Your experience is very great. At this time, even the officers begin to give you concessions. The ensign can write out a "father's bream" on the back of the head for some kind of offense, because. knows that you are a normal guy, not a "red".

Around this time, you will have 100 DAYS TO ORDER! This is an important date for demobilization, because. double-digit numbers will go further and it will seem that you are about to go home ...

By tradition, soldiers shave their heads bald and then grow to demobilization.

The officers themselves begin to send you to "resolved" (simple) work and "extinguish" (hide) from complex ones. You become even closer to your colleagues, and the service no longer causes you as much anxiety as it used to.

The most interesting thing is that at this time you do not care about everything. Field exit? Good. Shooting? No problem. Run 8 km? With joy!

You are ready for anything and it seems to you more and more that civilian life is simply elementary, because there are so many opportunities!

And the day that ALL soldiers dream of is coming closer and closer - the day of the cherished DEMBELS (demobilization)!

"SPACE". 10 days home

When you have 10 days left to serve, this period is called COSMOS! This name came from the fact that when you have 10 days left to serve, you walk around as if "enchanted."

Everything is high for you, a feeling begins to appear that you want to serve more, you don’t want to leave here, that everything is familiar here, you have already earned respect, and in civilian life everything is from scratch ... Work or study, a new life. It's scary, but the feeling of homesickness overwhelms everything!

You are looking forward to how you will go home, how you will hug your relatives, how you will meet your friends! DEMBEL is one of the best days of your life! This is the day after which you start a new life!

There are some traditions here. You can, if you smoke, tell your “young” to put 10, 9, 8, 7, etc. cigarettes under your pillow every day.

If you don't smoke, you can say to put a candy with a number))

But, to be honest, I didn’t do any of this (and I never smoked either).

10 days before demobilization, my ex-girlfriend told me that she was getting married. This was a severe shock for me. Very tough.

All subsequent 10 days were overshadowed by this event. Depression and a feeling of hopelessness constantly rolled over me. you can't get out of there anywhere.

3 days before the demobilization, I found out that my ex-girlfriend was getting married to my former “friend”, who approached her while I was gone.

For a very long time I wanted not just to take revenge, but to take revenge very cruelly, I wanted physical reprisals against him, so that he would recover from this for a very long time.

But then it turned out that he also went into the army (5 days before my demobilization), making an offer to my ex-girlfriend, to which she agreed.

I don’t blame the ex-girlfriend, because. at that time (I was 23 years old) I did not want to get married, I felt that I did not want to. That it's not mine. Somehow it was not good in my soul when I thought that I would soon become a HUSBAND. This made me very upset. There should not be such a feeling before the wedding.

I just let go of this situation. I just didn't take it into my head.

And it turned out not in vain. Recently I met the girl I always dreamed of, my Ksyushenka, whom I love very much. And you know what? When I think about marrying her, I get euphoric! I WANT THIS! I want to marry this girl. This is the feeling that should be before family life.

I never understood why to “compromise” and marry a girl whom you don’t love at all, whom you cheat on, but whom you have been dating for 5-10 years. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AND WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT! This is YOUR LIFE! SHE IS ONE! It's better to be alone than to be with someone you don't love.

But this is a completely different story ... Someday we will talk about this in more detail. By the way, read my . Much will become clear.

There is a very cool tradition in the “last supper”, i.e. the day before the demobilization, you go to the last dinner, eat faster than anyone else and WITHOUT DEMAND AND THE OFFICER'S COMMAND get up from the table EARLY EVERYONE and take your tray. At this time, your colleagues applaud you loudly! It's an incredible feeling, trust me!

The officers punished us for this ... A lot of things. And a march with throws, and reprimands, and spoiled characteristics, but we have kept this tradition to the end.

I agreed in advance with the officer about this. I bought all the young people a delicious roll and went to dinner.

Before the start of dinner, I gave each young man a roll (this is very much appreciated in the army, and indeed any sweets).

Then had supper and got up from the table under LOUD APPLAUSE!

5 hours before "demobilization"

Time for euphoria and celebration in the soul! There are a couple of traditions left before you go home...

When you have your last bath (you wash yourself, once a week), then next to the bath there is usually a tree with a huge number of washcloths. Where did all these washcloths come from, I’ll tell you now.

In your last bath, after washing, you should throw your washcloth as high as possible! The higher, the tougher!

If the washcloth did not stay on the branches and fell, then this is a sign that the road home will not be very good (you will get drunk, fight or drop off the train), but I can make you happy - this, of course, is all FIRE! My washcloth fell off on the first try, but the road home was wonderful)))

Then I arrived at the barracks, took pictures with all my colleagues and comrades, changed into CIVIL CLOTHES (light sneakers, a T-shirt, SOCKS, what a thrill!), put all the stamps on the bypass sheet, etc.

But the most thrill was that at that time a new call for “young spirits” was brought to the barracks, i.e. "the spirits of our spirits." They have 11.5 months of service ahead of them, and I take pictures, rejoice, joke with everyone, smile. It was unforgettable.

I said goodbye to everyone and headed to the checkpoint (checkpoint), through which I had to pass for the last time.

Here I was accompanied by many colleagues. Both young and our call. It was very cool! It remains only to say goodbye to everyone again and go out the gate, having fulfilled the last tradition ...

I went outside the checkpoint and shouted loudly: "YAYAYAYA HOME!".

Demobilization…

Before leaving home, it was necessary to put a mark in the commandant's office. There I saw all the guys with whom we were at the KMB (classmates and countrymen). How glad I was to see them!

Briefing, a couple of signatures, a seal and that's all ... You can go to the station.

At the station we took a ticket for free (in the army you pay for the way home), we had a few more hours before the train.

If you go to the army or have already been there, then after reading this, you will understand what I mean.

SUCH A STRANGE FEELING WAS INSIDE! Very strange. Walk down the street WHERE YOU WANT! DO WHAT YOU WANT! You can easily enter the store.

It costs a lot. A sense of serenity and freedom...

A bit unusual, there is a phone in your pocket (you don’t need to hide it anywhere), light sneakers on your feet, PEOPLE around! This feeling is beyond words.

We went to a restaurant, ordered food, they brought us CUTLERY! Not only a spoon, but also a fork and a knife. For a year I lost the habit of eating with a fork. So convenient!

We bought flowers for sisters, girls and mothers, and then went to the station.

We talked a lot on the train, discussed the service, future plans for life, completed the demobilization forms. Such a pleasant excitement inside. After all, tomorrow I will see my relatives, whom I have not seen for almost a year. There were already tears welling up in my eyes. It's indescribable guys...

As I fell asleep, I had a dream at night. In it, we sat with relatives, discussed something and laughed. And then someone told me in a dream: “Well, Nikita, you served! How quickly time has flown by.

Waking up. I put on a demobilization uniform, put on a black beret, shaved, and waited for the train to arrive in Petrozavodsk.

Sitting at the window, I thought about how much can happen in a year, how much a person can change in one year. I was happy that I got through it.

I am often asked how I manage to work so hard, train, write gigantic articles, etc. Where does the strength and such efficiency come from?

And it's very simple. In the army, I realized that when there is some kind of obstacle in my life, I will understand for sure that it can be more difficult, harder, worse.

That I have a lot of opportunities here. I am not limited by anything. So I make the most of my time.

“The train is arriving at the Petrozavodsk station,” a sound rang out.

I took my things and headed to the exit of the train, where my parents and sister, friends and a whole new life were waiting for me ...

The army inspired me to learn how to play the guitar. I graduated from a music school in piano, so it was a little easier for me to master a new instrument. A month and a half after the army, I managed to learn how to play some songs tolerably. The first song I learned was about the army, this is what came of it:

About “vodka and triple balm”, this is just the lyrics, not propaganda.

P.S. Subscribe to blog updates. It will only get worse from there.

With respect and best wishes, !

P.P.S. The article was written from recollections and I could not remember some moments, but if I had such detailed instructions for action before the start of the service, then it would be much easier in the army.

All men are told from childhood that when they grow up, they will become soldiers and real defenders of the fatherland. They will be destined to cherish and protect the Motherland, and, of course, this is honorable and courageous. But these generalities rarely hide any specifics.

Often, going to serve in the army, guys either have a very vague idea of ​​​​what they have to do there, or have no idea at all about it. As a rule, a young man's idea of ​​the service consists of the stories of his father and friends who have already served. And just as, as a rule, these stories mainly cover the period of time when the service was already coming to an end.

And the essence of these stories is approximately the following: in the army I was the coolest, did nothing, drove the young, sent officers to hell, slept with officer wives and daughters. And I had no control at all. Everyone knew and respected me, from the soldier to the marshal.

But it should be obvious to you that there is rarely truth behind these words, since every person tells only good and glorious things about himself. But is it really so? What do young people face and what do they do in the army?

What is the life of a soldier

A lot depends on what kind of troops the recruit got into, in which unit, what the conditions of service are in the unit, what traditions and fathers-commanders. And yet there is still something in common in the service, regardless of where the young man serves. We're talking about conscripts.

Everything in order

The entire service for a conscript soldier consists, as it were, of two parts. This is actually: service activities and personal time, the so-called leisure.

Quarantine. Arriving at the military unit, the soldiers are quarantined. In it, their service takes place until the military oath is taken. As a rule, in quarantine, a soldier is scheduled all day from and to. The soldier is busy all the time. This is combat and physical training. This is the study of military regulations. Medical examination and vaccinations. Training in such elementary skills as hemming a collar, cleaning boots or boots. As well as preparation for the solemn acceptance of the oath.

Time flies fast in quarantine. Soldiers are under the control of officers, ensigns and sergeants at all times. As a rule, there are no mockeries, except for small skirmishes among themselves in quarantine. Young soldiers are drawn into the service. In the mode and nature of nutrition. As a rule, during this period of service, the soldier wants to eat and sleep all the time.

Letters from home. It is very interesting to watch the soldiers when they receive their first letters from home. Almost everyone reads these letters with tears in their eyes. And 18-year-old school graduates, and 20-year-old graduates of technical schools and colleges, and 25-year-old university graduates.

In letters they are dear and beloved. And in their real life today, they, each of them, are one of the crowd, where the score is by head, and the address is by surname and rank.

Life in the unit. But the recruits took the oath. They are divided into departments. It turns out that they, as it were, are going to serve again, because life in quarantine and in the unit are noticeably different.

In the unit there are soldiers of different conscriptions, different lengths of service. Those who have been in the unit for a long time and got involved in the regime. These old-timers are annoyed by clumsy recruits. But it is precisely the old-time soldiers who are role models for the young and bearers of the traditions of the unit.

Combat training. In the unit, not all soldiers are equally engaged in official activities. And this service activity itself very often has nothing to do with combat training.

Very often, paratroopers, motorized riflemen, marines, tankers and sappers can be caught clearing snow, whitewashing curbs, mowing grass, sweeping leaves and other "creative and highly intellectual" work. Although combat training is also there. In classrooms, at training sites, at training grounds and shooting ranges.

Household and work. It should be noted that the soldier's work is quite hard physically. And those soldiers who are really busy with combat training or household work get very tired during the day. Therefore, after lights out, they sleep like the dead.

But again, not everyone is so tired. There is a certain category of soldiers. In different parts they are called differently. Shtatka, household gang, bubvit, etc. These people are busy, as it were, providing the service activities of other soldiers.

These are signalmen, drivers of transport vehicles, cooks, bread cutters, tankers and representatives of other support services. This category of servicemen is necessary and important. There are decent people there. But, as a rule, control over this category of servicemen is reduced. They seem to be always in sight, but still they have all sorts of opportunities to make their lives easier.

For example: lost connection. The communications soldier took a bag with a tool and a spool of cable on his shoulder and departed "to the line." Eliminated a cable break, slept somewhere in a forest plantation along the way, went into the village to buy beer or vodka.

Another example: the regiment commander's driver brought the commander to headquarters for a meeting. The colonel conferred for three hours, and the soldier was sleeping peacefully in the car. Or lock the car and go to the store. For beer, for example.

Trouble. And in the evening, a group of servicemen who were not very tired, and even had a good night's sleep, gathered somewhere in the supply room. Drink purchased vodka or beer. They are good but boring. And here is a whole arrangement of tired and soundly sleeping recruits. And the so-called hazing activity begins. From simple underwear to real crimes, including beatings and violent acts (a rarity in our time).

It must be said that the number of such gross violations of military discipline with the reduction of the term of service to one year and the appearance of contract servicemen has significantly decreased, but they still occur.

Or, if the unit is located in some locality, then these “tired ones” can go on unauthorized absences, for example, to dances or to some kind of girls' hostel. And there, if you are not lucky, they can be detained by a patrol or the police. Or get in the face from local men.

How is the military service

Gradually, young soldiers are drawn into the service. Trained in military specialty. Skills such as hemming the collar are brought to automatism. They have more free time, which they spend watching TV, on sports campuses, or writing letters home.

Gradually, they stop missing home. Or rather, they are always bored, but not as sharply and tearfully as at the beginning of the service.

Young soldiers receive fewer and fewer comments from their mentors. They begin to trust more. And after about 100 days, they become real soldiers who can be trusted with weapons and who can be relied upon. The service ceases to be a duty and becomes an ordinary male serious work.

And when the unit takes part in any serious exercises, and at the same time, the young replenishment will show itself on the good side and receive the encouragement of the command, then it becomes clear to everyone why and for what every man should serve in the army and this is not an easy soldier's school.