How to learn to forgive - the impact of resentment on health and methods of forgiveness

Forgiveness is a true talent

Forgiveness is one of the most amazing properties a conscious being can have. It is one of the most noble and difficult to develop qualities. It is forgiveness that is the cornerstone of all light religions and philosophies.

How much we want people to show understanding and forgiveness to us, and how difficult it is sometimes to cultivate this quality in ourselves.

The destructive harm of resentment

Resentment is a terrible poison that poisons both the mind and the body. And it's not a metaphor at all. On the basis of resentment, the most serious diseases appear, one of which is cancer. Sometimes we hide our resentment towards someone so deeply that it begins to “mould and rot” first on the subtle plane, and then on the material plane.

Resentment at the level of the subtle body of the mind

It is widely known that the physical body is inseparably connected with the subtle body of the mind and the subtle body of the mind. Resentment stuck at the level of the subtle body of the mind threatens with permanent viral diseases, weakened immunity, the older it is, the worse the consequences.

Over time, resentment in the subtle body of the mind turns into inflammation. For example, a woman offended by her husband for years for something may pay with this inflammation of the uterus and appendages. Such a disease can only be drowned out with medicines, but it cannot be cured in any way, they become chronic.

Resentment at the level of the subtle body of the mind

Over time, the cause of resentment is forgotten, only subconscious hostility remains, it causes illnesses in the subtle body of the mind. These diseases are practically not treated medically and in modern medicine are better known as incurable - lethal. A striking example of a disease of the subtle body of the mind is cancer. Treatment is very difficult and painful due to finding the cause of the disease deep under the mind. It can be resentment against parents, for a bad attitude in childhood, or for one of the classmates because of the unforgivable (as it seemed to us) humiliation at school. There can be thousands of reasons. But it is important to understand the point that we hurt ourselves the most with resentment.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness in front of the offending person, forgiveness is a sign of the maturity and wisdom of the forgiving person.

What to do if you hold a grudge against someone

If you recognize this burning feeling of resentment in your heart, you should stop and think. What will this insult give me? Will she resolve the conflict? Build relationships? Will make me feel better? Resentment never solves problems and conflicts, never makes us happy. You can sometimes, of course, for the purpose of education, be offended for a couple of minutes, maybe a couple of hours ... But you should never let resentment in your heart. It won't lead to anything good.

However, if you have already been offended by someone and have been offended for years, or God forbid you get sick because of resentment, only sincere forgiveness will help you.

In order to forgive a person, it is not necessary to talk about it to the offender or shout about it on the street. You can do without pathos. There is a special forgiveness meditation practiced by many homeopaths and psychotherapists. Thanks to this technique, hundreds of thousands of people have learned to sincerely forgive and parted with a heavy burden of resentment.

How to Conduct a Forgiveness Meditation Session at Home

• Try to stay at home alone, if this is not possible, close yourself in a spare room and put on headphones with relaxing music. Music helps you get in the right mood.
• Sit on the floor, preferably with a soft rug or pillow.
• Sit where you feel comfortable. But it is desirable in the pyramid position (collect the legs “in Turkish”, close your thumb and middle fingers, put your hands on your knees, your back is even).
• Close your eyes and imagine a circle around you of the people closest to you. Kneel at everyone's feet in your mind and ask for forgiveness. You should ask for forgiveness because there is no smoke without fire, and no matter how innocent you see yourself, you cannot know what the Supreme Justice is punishing you for through this person. If the exercise is done easily, then there are no serious offenses.
• Then create a second circle, let it be your friends, after colleagues, then acquaintances and so on until you remember all the people you have ever seen or met. As a result, around you, in your mind, there will be dozens of rings with faces. Everyone should take turns bowing at their feet and apologizing.
• If problems arise on any person, you should select him from the circle and apologize until you forgive yourself.

This process is more complicated than it seems at first glance. You may not be able to forgive the first time. Then repeat the meditation as many times as needed. When you finally manage to sincerely apologize to the offender, you should move on to the second phase of forgiveness.

The second phase of forgiveness is the wish for happiness

Wishing happiness to the offender is the highest form of forgiveness. It's harder than a heartfelt apology. Every morning and every evening before going to bed, you should set up all your positive feelings for about five minutes to wish happiness to a former enemy or offender.

This seemingly simple method is very effective. Very soon you will notice changes in your life and relationships with people. Improving health is also not long in coming. Life will become easier and happier.

Who among us has not been offended in life? They criticized, did not appreciate, did not understand, did not hear ... And then there is an insult that sits in the heart like a splinter. How to get rid of it? How to forgive an offense? How to forget caustic words addressed to you? How to survive the betrayal of a friend? This article will teach you.

Resentment as a means of manipulation

Some psychologists say that resentment is a way to get what you want. This is especially true for close relatives. The wife, trying to teach a lesson to her late husband, pouts her lips and "takes a vow of silence." The husband accuses his wife of being unable to manage the household, hinting at constant meetings with girlfriends. Where do adults get such a need to offend a loved one for personal purposes?

Psychologists say that all this comes from childhood. A child who likes a toy cries and begs for it from their parents. The little manipulator knows it's bad. Parents also know this, but they still buy the 25th doll or car. It is impossible to look at the tears of your baby without pity. We often use this method of manipulating others later in adulthood. True, he works more often with close relationships.

Why does a person offend another?

What is the main reason why one individual offends another? We are often offended and do not think about it at all. But humiliation and verbal insults against us are often a disguised compliment on the part of our opponents.

Envy, unfortunately, is inherent in so many people. Not many will praise a person who has achieved any heights. But there will always be those who will scold him and blaspheme. By doing his vile deed against us, the offender gains a sense of his own importance. He "grows" in his own eyes. Moreover, the more his words affect us, the more joy and satisfaction it will bring to him. So why indulge him? Let's smile back at him and say nice words. We are concerned about the question of how to forgive an offense? Sometimes, in order to do this, it is enough to understand why we are humiliated and insulted.

Consequences of resentment

Perhaps many people find it difficult at times to forgive their enemies. Many people think: “Why should I forget the offense? My enemy will be happy if he does not suffer the deserved punishment for this. Learning to forgive is necessary for oneself, to preserve one's health. To understand this, just look at the following list of potential problems that can arise if you constantly replay an unpleasant situation in your head:

Decreased immunity;

thyroid problems;

Depression;

Diseases of the cardiovascular system;

Oncology;

Mental disorders;

Migraines, headaches.

At first glance, the connection between the occurrence of these ailments and the mood of a person seems unrealistic. But it is worth imagining what is happening inside the offended person in order to understand this. For example, a person was rude on the bus, fired from work for no reason, insulted ... What do most of us do in this case? Some are taken to take revenge, someone - to drink "bitter", someone becomes isolated in himself. But many of us will swallow the hurt and move on with our lives. Only here is the insult, the tension from it has not gone away. Negativity accumulates in our body. This will continue until the negative energy finds an outlet. And the way out here can be severe depression, and a nervous breakdown, and a complex illness, and so on. So why accumulate resentment in yourself? We need to learn how to neutralize them. How to forgive an offense and let it go will be discussed later.

How to remain calm in response to criticism?

A person sometimes with indignation perceives teachings from another person. And what can we say about the offensive words that he hears from others? Remaining calm in response to criticism is often very difficult. Of course, it is good to remain cool and unflappable in any situation. But how to curb your emotions when necessary? There are a few tips to help you do this:

Don't answer the offender right away. In anger, you can say a lot of things that you will later regret.

And then the question of how to save the situation, and not how to forgive insults, will come to the fore for you. The past cannot be returned. An unpleasant aftertaste from a quarrel will remain not only with your opponent, but also with you. Cool down and analyze the opponent's words. And only then parry.

Deceive the offender in his expectations. Konstantin Kushner, a Russian historian and educator, said: "If you are offended, the enemy has succeeded." Know that the main goal of the opponent is to hurt you to the quick. So why should he give this pleasure? Smile and forgive him.

During an argument, ask the abuser, "What can I do to make things right?" Is he confused and unable to answer? So he has personal reasons to talk bad about you. Such criticism cannot be fair.

The genius Erian Schultz said: “To be offended by bad words addressed to you is to agree with them.” This simple phrase explains everything. Do you consider yourself to be what your enemies are trying to make you look like? Of course not. But there is no point in proving them otherwise. It is better to step aside, leaving their words unheeded.

Do you want to know how to learn to forgive insults? Justify your opponents. Try to put yourself in their place and understand why they do it. Everything is simpler than it seems at first glance. Nature created one so angry, the second was offended today, and he shouted at you in the heat of the moment, the third has an unlucky day today, everything falls out of his hands, and he decided to “send everything to hell”, having quarreled with everyone, including you . Justified? Has it become easier? All that remained in my heart was pity for these poor fellows.

Live in the present. You need to forgive the offense in time, let go of the past and continue to go on your way. Focusing on quarrels with others will not lead to good.

The main thing is the inner core!

Only strong-willed people can remain calm in response to criticism and not be offended by insults and slander. Often we worry about the bad things we hear about ourselves. It doesn't matter if they said them to our eyes or behind our backs. But if we know that we have done nothing wrong, then why are we worried? The main thing is the confidence that we are right, that we are doing the right thing, that the truth is on our side. This conviction gives us calmness, firmness, determination. The inner core will not allow us to bend before offensive insults and slander. And we will not have questions about how to forgive an offense and let go of the past, how to forget insults addressed to us, how to improve relations after a quarrel.

Exercise number 1 - revenge on the offender

Learning to forgive is not easy. Getting over yourself is sometimes difficult. Special exercises will help to do this, for example, such as "imaginary revenge on the offender." It consists in the following:

Exercise number 2 - forgiveness

Psychologists say that thoughts and words are material. By managing them, you can easily change your life both positively and negatively. And if positive thoughts and words carry a creative energy, then negative ones produce a destructive effect. This knowledge will help us answer the main question that concerns us: "How to forgive an offense, finding peace and joy?" It is recommended to perform this exercise for 5-15 minutes a day. It is best to do this with a partner, but you can do it alone. It consists in the following:

1. Take a comfortable position.
2. Loudly and emotionally repeat several times, mentally addressing your offender: “You are good, cheerful, kind ... I forgive you for the fact that ...”.
3. After releasing the resentment, tell yourself this: "I forgive myself for ...".

Three ways not to be offended

1. Only truly strong and great people have self-control. Anyone can be offended, but only a select few can forgive. No wonder Socrates said: "To be offended is beneath the dignity of a person." And why are we worse than a great philosopher? Let's learn to forgive.
2. Let's replace resentment with pity. For example, our soulmate spoke sharply about some of our personal qualities: the husband said that his wife was a bad cook, the wife "broke her husband's brain" about small earnings, and so on. Now we are overwhelmed by the thought of how to forgive an offense to a loved one. Let's just take pity on the poor guy. After all, a person offends when in a state of anger, frustration or a bad mood. And all this adversely affects his health. It's already not easy for the offender.
3. You can try to find out why people offend us. A heart-to-heart conversation will help resolve an unpleasant situation.

The main thing is not to keep

Not everyone understands why we should learn how to forget the offense and forgive. But, as we have already found out, to experience negative emotions unhealthy. And resentment, anger, grief - these are perhaps the most negatively colored feelings. In our civilized society, it is not customary to openly express your emotions, especially negative ones. Therefore, many people, swallowing resentment, try to pretend that nothing happened. But experiences do not give them rest. Over time, the unpleasant situation is erased from memory, but the sediment on the soul from it still remains.

What to do in this case? Release negative emotions out in time so that they do not have time to harm our physical and mental health. You need to do this when you are at home alone. Otherwise, you can unpleasantly shock your household. You can break several plates on the floor, knock your fists on the pillow, imagining your offender in its place. You can just scream loudly at home when you are alone. It takes only a few minutes. But you will see how easy it will be for you after that. The world will no longer seem so dark and cruel, the offender - rude and heartless, and those around you - indifferent and ruthless.

Religion for Forgiveness

There are words in the Bible about loving your enemies and thanking them for the evil deeds they do. Christian preachers teach that the one who strikes on the cheek should also offer the other cheek for the blow, and the one who takes away the outer clothing should also give the shirt. At first glance it seems that these sayings are reckless. How can one not resist blows and thank one's enemies for beatings? But it seems nonsense only at first glance. It is important for a person to learn to forgive others in order to preserve their own health. An offended, upset, angry person is in a state of tension, constantly scrolling in his head the details of the quarrel and possible ways of revenge. Negative thoughts deprive him of the joy of being. Having forgiven his offenders, he finds peace and tranquility. No more pain and suffering. You can move on and do good deeds. Life is already too short to waste it on such trifles as scandals and quarrels.

Why think about how to forgive an offense? Mother and father should not be offended at all. These are the people whose love for children is immeasurable. As for the enemies, here many people may have such questions: “Why should I forgive my enemy? Why do him good? Because he doesn't deserve it." There is a wonderful passage in the Bible that says, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, then give him a drink: for by doing this you are heaping burning coals on his head.” These words have a deep meaning. You cannot defeat evil with evil. Bad things can only be eradicated with good. And then, who knows, maybe your worst enemy will become your best friend. No wonder they say: "From hate to love - only one step." The Bible will tell you the answer to the question of how to learn to forgive offenses. Try to be a true Christian and follow all the commandments set forth in it. Then in your life there will be no place for resentment, hatred, revenge.

Prayer for forgiveness of enemies

When it becomes especially difficult for us, we turn to God for help. And it is not at all necessary to know certain prayers here. You can express in your own words what lies like a stone on our soul, and ask the Almighty for salvation. The answer to the question of how to forgive and let go is clear. We need to open and read the Bible more often, follow the commandments given in it. The Lord teaches us that we need to love our neighbor as ourselves, no matter what, that we should forgive our enemies, no matter what offense they inflict on us. This is necessary, first of all, to the most offended.

And a prayer with which you can turn to God can be like this:

“Lord, our father, I ask you, give me the strength to forgive the people who offended me. You, the Merciful, taught us: “Love your enemies. Bless all who curse you. Do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend and persecute you." Give me the strength of my soul to forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Help me to reconcile with those who offended me in my soul. Let me find the joy of forgiveness."

You need to repeat this every day. And then you will no longer have questions about how to forgive the offense. Prayer saves from empty experiences and anxiety.

How to forgive a loved one and let go?

How many tears are shed when love leaves! It is very difficult after this to forget the betrayal of the second half and start life anew. It is especially hard for women in such situations.

These tips will teach them how to forgive a man for an offense, let him go and start life from scratch:

Give him all his things, remove all joint photos so that nothing reminds you of him;

Take a two-week vacation and fly to warm countries to relax;

Try not to isolate yourself, go to the cinema, cafes, clubs, somewhere where there are a lot of people, where life is in full swing;

Call your best friend for help, talk to her, cry, you will immediately feel better;

Write on a piece of paper all the shortcomings of your former lover, remembering all the bad things that are associated with him, tear the piece of paper and mentally say goodbye to this "scoundrel".

Aphorisms of famous people about forgiveness

To be offended is common to all people. It is curious what famous people say about this negative feeling.

Oscar Wilde: "The best way to piss off your enemies is to forgive them."

Thomas Szas: "A stupid person does not forget and does not forgive, a naive person both forgets and forgives, a smart person forgives, but does not forget."

William Blake: "It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend."

Johann Schiller: "Forgiveness is stronger than all victories."

Gilbert Chesterton: "A haughty apology is another insult."

Henri de Monterlant: “There are people to whom we forgive everything, and there are people to whom we do not forgive anything. Those to whom we do not forgive anything are our friends.”

Jean Paul: "A person is beautiful when he forgives himself or asks for forgiveness from another."

George Halifax: "Conscience and memory always diverge as to whether wrongs should be forgiven."

We found out the reasons why some people try to humiliate and insult others, and also looked at several ways to forgive an insult.

Mom taught not to accumulate resentment, Orthodoxy orders to grant forgiveness. Yes, only invisible chains return us to a dark corner of a sense of injustice and a painful desire to carry out revenge. To gloat, imagining how misfortunes will twist the offender, to spend days, months, years on hatred and aggression. In the head of the offended, the painful situation is played out on an uncontrolled repetition.
How to learn to forgive an offense? How to get rid of resentment?

Do you agree with these statements?

1. Life is not fair.

2. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

3. For the offense caused to me, a person will still pay: not me, so life will punish.

If you agree with at least one point, then the question of how to learn to forgive requires urgent resolution.

How to learn to forgive insults?

Resentment is an unnatural state
this is a violation of the taboo on degradation, on involution.

Yuri Burlan

The brain boils, the heart is filled with aggression and a thirst for revenge. “I should have answered like this! Give change! Not me, so God will punish him,” we imagine ourselves in direct contact with the one who sees everything and will avenge us.

How to learn to forgive insults and breathe freely? Mom taught not to accumulate resentment, Orthodoxy orders to grant forgiveness. Yes, only invisible chains return us to a dark corner of a sense of injustice and a painful desire to carry out revenge. To gloat, imagining how misfortunes will twist the offender, to spend days, months, years on hatred and aggression. In the head of the offended, the painful situation is played out on an uncontrolled repetition.

How to learn to forgive an offense? How to get rid of resentment? The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives a step-by-step solution to the problem.

1. Understand who is offended

My sister was loved more than me, my mother urged me all my life, my grades were underestimated at school, the boss did not notice the efforts, my husband did not praise the dinner, the children do not consider it an authority. Feeling like an empty space. I want to slam my fist on the table and scream with all my strength: “You will regret it!”

Such mental anguish is characteristic only of the owners. There is a risk that the very name of the vector may anger and offend them. But the excellent quality of bringing things to the end will help you to thoroughly understand your own inner way of life and make peace with this world.

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan calls the owners of the anal vector golden people. They are characterized by the best human qualities - reliability, decency, honesty, excellent memory, perfectionism.

But this gold is often covered with corrosion in the form of insults from improper operation. Just as a precious metal tarnishes under the constant influence of bleach, so painful circumstances can greatly damage the fragile psyche of such a person.

2. Act according to the rules for exploiting the "touchy" vector

Ideally, the psyche of a person with an anal vector is built in such a way as to accumulate and pass on past experience and knowledge to the next generations. For this, such people have an excellent memory. In the head of its happy owner is a well-organized archive so that other people at the right time will use valuable material on how to build a bicycle, and not invent a wheel with each generation like for the first time.

This valuable library lacks only a powerful encyclopedia on how to forgive offenses and let go of a painful situation. But this knowledge already exists and is waiting for a place on the shelf of self-understanding.

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that any natural desire is provided with properties for its realization. The owner of the anal vector strives with all his essence so that the clumsy learn, and the ignoramuses come to their senses. Teachers, educators, scientists, writers, surgeons - this is the best use of their talents. For all these people in demand in the profession, the basis of recognition is an assiduous, diligent and patient anal vector.

If the golden properties are not used for their intended purpose, then the memory archive is filled with anything. On the first rack he climbs on his mother, and further up to the ceiling - on everyone he meets.

Awareness of one's abilities and natural desires makes it possible to use one's talents for their intended purpose. And experience great satisfaction and joy from this.

Just as a child who has eaten his mother’s hearty meatballs will not be able to eat another kilogram of harmful sweets, so the “touchy” vector fed with the necessary realization will forget how to experience aggression and resentment.

3. Understand the one who offended

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you not only to read your personal library of the psyche from cover to cover, but also to look into the neighboring ones. And here's the surprise: I thought my husband also had an archive with shelves, but it turns out that in his head - a football field and thoughts-footballers scurry rapidly from one end to the other. And someone even has cosmic infinity! Of course, we will all look at the same things differently!

How to learn to forgive your husband for forgetting your anniversaries? When you clearly realize that he does not have such a cell for storing this information, it does not arise. And you just rush to cook your favorite charlotte in anticipation of a pleasant evening with a loved one and his inner space.

How to learn to forgive your mother - psychology systematically explains life-long grievances. Now there is a way to look into my mother’s thoughts and understand why she interferes in the affairs of an adult daughter as unceremoniously as she rummaged through her pockets as a child, points her index finger at all mistakes and considers only Swiss account holders successful. Systemically realizing mother's priorities laid down by nature, instead of painful insults, you feel a pleasant recognition of her features and closeness from communication.

4. Realize how you can do it differently and not be offended

And if a heavier offense is inflicted, how to learn to forgive betrayal? In the high-speed skin psyche of the "football player" there are other laws. Such a man is created to change the environment. But he has not yet become an engineer, lawmaker, businessman or leader. So he ran to look for changes on the other. Not for long.

A woman can inspire a man to great deeds. And since "feats" are performed only in a primitive range, then this is a question for both the knight and his muse.

The strength to forgive him and yourself because of mistakes in a relationship wakes up when you realize that you yourself have not worked out somewhere, but you can still direct the situation in the right direction. Realizing the properties of her beloved, a woman with a sensitive word is able to direct a man to conquer precisely his peaks.

If in your family rear the skin husband is truly understood and motivated in the right direction, he will be able to provide himself with the necessary diversity at work, in society and you with an absolutely reliable rear. And then there will be no need to change partners. And you do not have to experience constant indignation and look for an answer to the question of how to learn to forgive a man.

Resentment is a brake that does not allow family happiness to open up. How to forgive and not be offended by yourself because of past mistakes? Act in a constructive way to maintain close family relationships - create a strong emotional connection with your loved one. In return, he will bestow loyalty and butterflies inside. About this in the article: ""

5. Interact with others without being offended

When it is clear that the sound engineer is not a leather worker, he does not keep track of time and may be late - it's not a shame. When it is obvious that the viewer is not a sound engineer and does not want to talk for hours about the structure of the Universe, it is not a shame. When it is clear that the urethral courage does not fit on the shelf of the anal order, it is not a shame.

It is possible to get rid of resentment against mom, dad, husband, boss, your child and even God without a trace.

Helpful Hints

Each of us sooner or later faces unfulfilled hopes, expectations, betrayal and bitter experience.

Grievances often do not allow people to enjoy life, create and dream, the latter become closed from mental pain and the severity of betrayal.

In this article, we will tell you how to throw off the heavy burden of resentment from your shoulders and start enjoying life again, because we have one.

It's hard to forgive

Why is it hard for people to forgive?

Many believe that, having forgiven a person, they allow him to act in a similar way again, as if there was no betrayal. Those who have experienced betrayal cannot and, most importantly, do not consider it necessary to forgive the offender.

In fact, everything is much simpler, and statistics show that such judgments are fundamentally wrong. It is very important to understand that we forgive not for the benefit of the offender, but for ourselves. We do this in order to get rid of the heavy burden of resentment and heartache. Having let go of this burden, we can again breathe deeply.

Another reason why it is difficult for people to forgive is the belief that by forgiving they betray themselves, their principles and their dignity. Many feel that letting go makes them vulnerable.

Mental pain, feelings of bitterness and resentment can persist in a person's thoughts for many years, making his life dull and difficult. He starts to feel like a victim. Such feelings cause emotions that harm the human body, but do not protect it in any way. A person closes in himself and the pain gradually absorbs him. How to learn to live again after a resentment?

Why is it important to learn to forgive?

Many medical studies prove that there is a direct connection between the ability to forgive and human health. Chronic anger, for example, keeps the body in constant tension, adversely affecting the heart rate, blood pressure and immunity. As a result of such changes, the risk of depression, cardiovascular disease and diabetes increases, in addition to many other unpleasant consequences.

However, the ability to forgive significantly reduces the level of stress, anxiety, depression, allows you to build new pleasant and healthy relationships with people, has a positive effect on the heart, reduces pressure, neutralizes physical pain, improves sleep, and much more. According to statistics, forgiveness allows a person to recover faster after an offense.

Until we learn to forgive, we will suffer much more than our offender. Emotions that overwhelm us can become so unmanageable that they begin to interfere with our relationships with loved ones. Only by being able to forgive can we truly get rid of heartache, anger and live a free, happy life, because negative emotions adversely affect health and do not allow us to enjoy truly beautiful things.

By forgiving, we become freer. This does not mean that the offender will escape punishment - sooner or later it will overtake him, and you will be able to live fully and happily. The ability to forgive requires great courage, courage and willpower from a person, but everyone can get rid of the burden of negative emotions.

See also: How to become happy: tips on how to enjoy life

How to learn to forgive

How to forgive an offender

"Forgiveness is a conscious decision, a state of mind and soul that needs to be worked on day in and day out." Here are some simple steps to forgiveness that everyone can use.

1. Become one with your emotions

Think about where and in what state you are at the moment. Drop all prejudice and be honest with yourself. Do not judge yourself or blame yourself for what happened, but be responsible and serious about what is happening. Try not to make rash decisions. In order to clear your thoughts and deal with thoughts, you can write them and your feelings on a piece of paper - this will make it much easier for you to organize the mess in your head.

After you have written down your thoughts and feelings, think about what you yourself can do at the moment to get rid of them or to ease your state of mind. In order to master emotions and cheer up, it is not necessary to take global measures - you can, for example, go for a walk, get some fresh air to calm down and move on to the next points with a fresh mind.

In addition, you can spend several hours alone with nature or do creative work: drawing, coloring various elements, creating patterns, music. You can write a letter or even seek help from a loved one or, in extreme cases, a specialist.

2. Let go of the past

One of the most important steps to forgiveness and a happy life is the ability to let go of the past and live in the present, despite the traumatic experience. Often we drag the past along with us, not noticing that it is pulling us down, blocking our path to freedom. In the absence of regular training in the ability to let go of the past, we become hostages of our emotions and accumulate negative thoughts that turn into chaos. They cloud our mind and do not allow us to look at things soberly.

In order to start living in the present, train yourself to see the beauty in the little things. For starters, you can go to the park, close your eyes and listen to the world around you. Every sound, every smell is beautiful in its own way. Learn to notice the beauty in the rustle of leaves and the scent of rain.

Another easy way to let go of the past is to keep a journal. On paper, it is much easier to organize your own thoughts. There you can also answer the questions asked to yourself in an expanded form, as if to an invisible interlocutor - "Who would I be without anger, resentment, pain and a desire to take revenge?", "How would my life change then?"

The Importance of Forgiveness

3. Get your strength back

Starting life completely from scratch is not so easy, but starting to write a new, own story is much easier. Remember that you were not born a victim, which means you can fix it. It is worth paying attention to the fact that forgiveness is not an isolated case, but a long process that requires work. In addition, you should understand one simple truth - no one has the right to burden you with resentment and negative emotions.

When painful feelings return, remind yourself that it is you who chooses the opportunity to forgive the person. You give him forgiveness because it is your decision, it is in your hands, you are in control and it is you who choose love, kindness and light.

The desire to change the situation must come from within. It appears then, and only then, when we understand that love, happy relationships and a vibrant life are our personal right from birth.

4. Learn a lesson

There is a valuable lesson to be learned from any experience we have gained. Sometimes this experience can be painful, but as we all know, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Even if we consider what happened to be a complete injustice, it strengthens us both physically and mentally, allowing us to find new ways out of various situations.

In addition, such incidents reveal the true nature of both others and ourselves. AT stressful situation a person begins to behave in a completely different way, and, having understood the reason and essence of his own behavior, you can learn to control it.

How to forgive an offense

5. Give love and light

After you take the first steps indicated above, you will be able to find the strength in yourself to give people warmth and love again. It is quite difficult, but this approach will radically change your life. Instead of radiating hatred and sadness, start loving and giving warmth. You will immediately notice that the soul has become much easier.

Also, learn to forgive yourself. Stop chasing unrealistic expectations and do not blame yourself for what happened. It is not your fault that you were betrayed. Keep this in mind and don't be ashamed of your own emotions.

As you learn to forgive, don't think about what you could change about the past to make it better. You still can’t do anything, but negative emotions will haunt you. The past cannot be changed, but if you do not let it go, it will poison your life.

Is it possible to forgive

Start Forgiving Now

When a person comprehends forgiveness, he discovers for himself the opportunity to live in peace and harmony with himself, hope, dream and be happy. And, of course, he receives one of the greatest gifts - the ability to love. When a person learns to forgive, he gains complete control over his life. He becomes free.

We've all had to resent other people. How else, you ask, - after all, we were treated badly, betrayed us, broke our heart?

It is quite normal and natural to experience mental pain, however, sometimes we cannot get rid of it for a long enough time, we return to it again and again and do not want to let it go.

This state of affairs can lead to problems. Due to the fact that we constantly feel depressed, our relationships with other people suffer, the situation at work and at home worsens. We find ourselves in a vicious circle of aggression and suffering, which obscures the beauty of this world from us.

We need to learn to let go of our pain. In order to move on and be happy, you need to be able to forgive.
Forgiveness can change your life.

Forgiveness does not mean that you need to erase your past or forget what happened to you. Others don't have to change their behavior to earn your forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you simply let go of your resentment and pain in order to move on.
It is not simple. But you can learn it.

If you keep pain in your heart and return to it again and again, unable to part with your suffering, try following the tips below:

1. Decide to let go. It may not happen instantly, but it may take some time. But the first step on the path to liberation will be the decision to let go of your pain and the recognition of the problem that bothers you. It is very important to recognize and see that there is resentment and pain, because if you convince yourself daily that resentment against someone (husband, wife, relative, friend) no longer bothers you, the more you will repress it into the unconscious. And this threatens with diseases and disorders of the nervous system in the very near future.

So - recognize the problem and decide to let go of the situation.

2. Analyze the situation in detail.

Take a piece of paper and write down all of the following questions:

What exactly / what actions from the other person are you offended by?

What are your feelings about this? (anger, resentment, annoyance, annoyance)?

How often do you think about this person and the offense in general?

What did you expect from this person?

What problems does your resentment create?
Does it affect your relationship with this person? With others?

Does it affect the situation at home or at work?

Does it prevent you from achieving your desires? Does it hinder your personal development?

Do you feel unhappy?

Now carefully review your answers and analyze them. Think about the benefits of forgiveness - how it will make you happier, free you from the burden of the past, improve your relationships with others and life in general.

And remember that each person has the right to choose and absolutely should not correspond to your hopes or plans for him. Nobody owes you anything. Accept it as a given and accept the situation as a way to grow and become stronger.

3. Understand that you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others, nor should you try. However, you can control not only your own actions, but also your thoughts. You may stop revisiting the traumatic situation because you have decided to move on. You have enough strength for this, you just need to practice a little.

If you can, calculate how much time per day you spend scrolling through situations, memories per day. Multiply that by 365. Yes, that's how much time you deliberately waste on negative emotions.

4. Try to understand. Try to do this: put yourself in the place of the person who offended you and try to understand why he did it. Proceed from the fact that this is a good person, think about how you would act in his place under all circumstances. Just be honest and don't overplay the situation.

5. Accept your responsibility. Try to understand that you, too, are partly responsible for what happened. What have you done to prevent the situation in the past, what are you doing to ensure that it does not happen again? You should not blame yourself for everything, or take responsibility for other people's actions, instead you need to understand that you are not a victim, but a participant in the events.

6. Focus on the present. Instead of constantly returning to the situation in the past, recognize that the past has already passed, and the traumatic situation is no longer happening, it remains only in your memories and prevents you from becoming happy. Focus on the present, live here and now. What are you doing now? What brings you joy? Find joy in life here and now, stop constantly remembering the past. By the way, it will not be possible to completely avoid memories, however, as soon as you notice that your thoughts are returning to the past, try to gently bring yourself back to the present.

7. Appeasement. As you focus on the here and now, pay attention to your breath. Imagine that with each breath you release your mind and body from the pain of the past. Imagine peace filling you with every breath. Release the pain of the past. Fill with peace. And continue on your way, thinking not about the past, but about the present and the future.

8. Compassion. Forgive the person and acknowledge that through forgiveness, you allow yourself to be happy and move on. Understand this person and wish him happiness. Send him love, feel love for the whole world. It may take time, but if you are determined to change your life, reread my advice from time to time (C)