self-esteem children's teenage personality

Self-esteem has been the subject of a special study by a number of authors. As the study of A.I. Lipkina Lipkina A.I. Student self-esteem. - //Pedagogy and psychology, No. 12, - 46 - 64 pp., self-esteem depends on the student's greater or lesser confidence in his abilities, attitude to the mistakes made, the difficulties of educational activities. Younger schoolchildren with adequate self-esteem were distinguished by their activity, the desire to achieve success in learning, and the manifestation of maximum independence. Children with low self-esteem behaved quite differently. They showed self-doubt, were afraid of the teacher, expected success, and preferred to listen to others in class rather than join in the discussion themselves.

In his judgment, A.I. Lapkina used a number of methods to improve the adequacy of self-esteem.

1. Throughout the year, all children had to evaluate their own work before giving it to the teacher for verification. Then the works were evaluated by the teacher, cases of discrepancy were discussed, and the grounds on which the assessment of these works was built by the children, on the one hand, and by the teacher, on the other. The degree of adequacy of evaluation of their work increased. If at the beginning of the school year 80% of children rated their work a score higher, then by the end of the year this was observed only in 20% of students.

2. Works completed in the class were distributed for mutual review. It was required to note the advantages and disadvantages and express their opinion on the assessment. After reviewing, the work was returned to the author, and the student could once again analyze his own work, which formed a critical attitude towards his own work.

3. A poorly performing student with low self-esteem, a sharp decrease in the achievement motive was instructed to provide assistance to a poorly performing junior schoolchild, which changed the social and personal position of the child, the nature of his activity, and his attitude towards himself. Increasing self-esteem due to borrowing the teacher's position in this case was a prerequisite for raising the level of one's own learning activity, changing attitudes towards it.

It was found out under what conditions comparing children with each other has the most favorable effect on the formation of self-esteem. The greatest effect was in the case when compared children with the same capabilities (abilities), but due to certain personal qualities (the degree of diligence, organization, discipline) achieving different results in learning. All assessments, comments, were expressed in order to show that the lag or success in learning depends on the attitude to work. In this class, there were the fewest children with incorrect self-esteem.

Close to these results was the class to which each child was compared to himself, when the student was informed about the degree of his progress in comparison with the previous level.

As the study of A.I. Lipkina Lipkina A.I. Student self-esteem. - //Pedagogy and psychology, No. 12, - 46 - 64 pp., the formation of correct self-esteem in the process of educational activity has a positive effect on academic performance, attitude to learning and, in general, on the formation of personality.

Schoolchildren with low self-esteem need to engage in self-education, which can begin with the study and application in practice of eight ways to change self-esteem proposed by L. Bassett (1997)

Ways to change self-esteem

		Execution paths
	Try to be more positive about life	Use an internal dialogue with yourself, consisting only of positive statements. If negative thoughts occur, try to immediately switch to a pleasant one.
	Treat people the way they deserve	Seek out in each person not flaws, but virtues
	Treat yourself with respect	Make a list of your strengths. Convince yourself that you have
	Try to get rid of what you don't like about yourself	Look at yourself in the mirror more often, trying to answer the question: is it worth changing something in yourself. If yes, then don't delay.
	Start making your own decisions	Remember that there are no right or wrong decisions. You can always justify and justify any decisions you make.
	Try to surround yourself with things that have a positive effect on you.	Buy your favorite books, tape recordings. Have and love your “weaknesses”
	Start taking risks	Take responsibility, even though the risk may be small at first
	Gain faith: in the person, in the circumstances, etc.	Remember that believing in something greater than ourselves can help us resolve difficult issues. If you can't influence the course of events, "step aside" and just wait

Socio-psychological training is one of the types of group psychological work of a school psychologist.

One of the forms of group work with teenagers is personal growth training. This is a training for teenagers, without any mental disorders. It is aimed at solving the psychological problems of this age. The age limits of the training participants are approximately the following: 14 - 20 years. Age, in this case, is determined by that stage in the formation of the Self - the concept of a person, at which he faces the specific tasks of this age, attributed by psychologists to the transition period from childhood to youth and maturity. The main task of this period is the formation of the main components of the I - the concept: first of all, self-consciousness and, on its basis, a system of worldview, beliefs, ideals, self-determination, etc. In accordance with this, the training is structured in such a way as to, firstly, create conditions for personal growth that will help adolescents and young men in solving their psychological problems, questions, the search for answers to which is vital for the formation of a mature personality.

Training can be done 1-2 times a week, at least. But not more often, with the exception of a summer labor camp, or any other situation in which teenagers who met for the first time communicate with each other all 24 hours a day. Each lesson lasts approximately 2.5 - 3 hours. The duration of the training itself is determined by the number of sessions required for the teenager and the leader to solve their tasks.

Sample training program

LESSON #1

Exercise 1. "I am me".

Students repeat the setting: In the whole world there is absolutely no one like me. Everything that is in me thoughts, feelings, actions belongs to me. All my fantasies, dreams, dreams, desires belong to me. I own my victories and defeats, successes and failures, achievements and mistakes. I am me!"

farewell ritual. Participants pass a toy around in a circle and talk about what they took from the lesson.

LESSON №2.

Target: awareness of one's own individuality, acceptance of oneself as a person who has his own shortcomings and is able to work on them; increasing tolerance towards others.

materials: plasticine or dough, tape recorder, calm music, crown.

STUDY PROCESS

Exercise 1. "Greeting".

The participants greet the participant they have chosen and throw the ball with the words: “Hello ... .. I like you that you ...”, the one who received the ball throws it to another with the same words.

Exercise 2. "Mood Image"(to the music).

Participants are invited to choose plasticine of the color that they like and fashion “My world”, or “World of my soul”, “Plasticine city”, etc. from it. The child can suggest a theme for the sculpture himself. Then ask him to come up with and tell a story about her. The plasticity of the material allows the little sculptor to repeatedly change his work - for example, in the process of fantasizing, he can add some elements or remove them, give them a new shape. Thus, his emotional well-being improves. It is important for the trainer to focus the child's attention on positive aspects during the story and invite him to make new changes to the sculpture that will make it even better and kinder.

Analysis and discussion of the work.

Exercise 3. Test "Ladder"

Participants are invited to draw a ladder and ask him to place all the children he knows on this ladder.

Good children will be on the top three steps: smart, kind, strong, obedient - the higher, the better ("good", "very good", "the best"). And on the bottom three steps - bad. The lower, the worse ("bad", "very bad", "the worst"). On the middle step, children are neither bad nor good. Then ask the child to show which rung the child would place themselves on and explain why.

Discussion: “Are you really like this or would you like to be like this? Mark who you really are and who you would like to be. After that, ask: “What step would your mother (dad, grandmother, teacher, etc.) put you on.”

Exercise 4: "I am Me!"

Students repeat the setting:

“I belong to myself and therefore I can build myself. I can be better and will be even better. Today I have every reason to smile joyfully and calmly. IM proud of myself! I am me!"

farewell ritual. Participants join hands, say goodbye and wish each other success.

LESSON №3.

Target: To develop the ability of introspection, self-awareness in children.

Identify the child's personal problems and find possible ways to overcome them.

materials: sheets of paper for drawing, pencils, felt-tip pens, paints, eraser, scissors, printed recommendations.

STUDY PROCESS

Exercise 1. "Draw your fear."

The child is given a sheet of paper with squares drawn on it. Participants should draw their fear(s) in each of the boxes. While the child is drawing, do not comment on his work and do not direct him. When he is done, ask him to describe his picture, while trying to clarify all the details and specify the general words as much as possible. Then offer to cut out the squares with the drawings and ask: what does the child himself want to do with them? Most likely, he will offer to destroy the drawings - for example, tear them up or burn them. Let him do it on his own, you don't have to help him.

Put the remaining stencil on a blank sheet of paper and invite the child to fill in the place that has been freed from fears with something pleasant for him. Let him decide for himself what it will be - the sun, joy, friends, etc. When the drawing is ready, talk to the child - how does he feel now, what has changed in his condition?

Exercise 2. "My character."

There is a circle in front of you, symbolizing your character. Divide the circle into sectors corresponding in size to one or another degree of manifestation of each of your character traits.

Designate the remaining undivided space as X - unknown, which is still incomprehensible in itself. The filling process can be demonstrated using the example of a famous literary hero, determining his inherent character traits and their share along with the children on the board. For example, it might look like this:

Do you think you would like to change something in yourself? In accordance with this, redo the scheme: you need to shade the unnecessary or interfering and add the missing. Playing situations from different positions: 1) the way I am now; 2) the way I want to be.

Farewell ritual. End of training.

Here, our lessons are over. Each of us has identified all his weaknesses and strengths, which he had not noticed before. I give out recommendations to each of you so that you sometimes read them and think about how you treat yourself. I wish you all success!

1. Think about how your opinion of yourself matches the opinion of your parents, classmates and friends?

2. Learn to listen to the opinions of other people, their approval or disapproval: after all, others can often evaluate you more accurately than you can do it yourself.

3. Treat critical comments from comrades, parents or teachers as constructive advice and "guidelines for action", and not as "annoying interference" or "misunderstanding of you."

4. Having been refused a request for something or having failed to cope with the task entrusted to you, look for the reasons in yourself, and not in circumstances or other people.

5. Remember that compliments or praise are not always sincere. Try to understand how the praise corresponds to the real work that you managed to do.

6. When comparing yourself to others, try to compare yourself to those who achieve maximum success in specific activities and in life in general.

7. Before taking on a responsible task, carefully analyze your capabilities and only after that make a conclusion about whether you can handle it.

8. Do not consider your shortcomings a trifle: after all, you do not consider other people's shortcomings a trifle, do you?

9. Try to be more critical of yourself: reasonable self-criticism contributes to self-development and a more complete realization of potential opportunities.

10. Do not allow yourself to "rest on your laurels." After successfully completing something, think about whether it could have been done better, and if so, what prevented it.

11. Always focus on the evaluation of the results of your actions by other people, and not on your own sense of satisfaction.

12. Respect the feelings and desires of other people, they have exactly the same value as your own.

1. Try to name your five strongest and weakest points. Think about how your strengths help you in life, and how your weaknesses get in the way. Learn to build on your strengths and lessen your weaknesses.

2. Try not to remember or delve into your past failures and disappointments. Remember your successes more often, think about how you could achieve them.

3. Don't allow yourself to be overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and shame. It won't help you succeed.

4. Look for the reasons for your failures in your insecurities, and not in your personality flaws.

5. Never talk bad about yourself, even about yourself. Especially avoid attributing negative traits to yourself, such as stupidity, inability to do anything, bad luck, incorrigibility.

6. If you are criticized for a poorly done job, try to use this criticism for your own good, learn from mistakes, but do not allow other people to criticize yourself as a person.

7. Don't put up with people, circumstances, and activities that make you feel inadequate. If you manage to act as the situation requires, it is better not to do this business and do not communicate with such people.

8. Try to take only those cases that you can handle. Gradually, they can be complicated, but do not take on something that you are not sure about.

9. Remember that criticism is often biased. Stop reacting sharply and painfully to all critical remarks addressed to you, just take into account the opinions of people who criticize you.

10. Don't compare yourself to the "ideal". Ideals are admired, but they should not be turned into a measure of success.

11. Don't be afraid to try something out of fear of failing. Only by acting will you be able to know your real possibilities.

12. Always be yourself. In an effort to be like everyone else, you hide yours.

Self-esteem is a very important internal characteristic of a person, which allows you to achieve your goals and become successful. A real assessment of one's own capabilities allows one to quickly navigate the life situation and make the right decisions. It begins to form already in childhood. The correct development of self-esteem in preschool age is very important. But the primary school period, which is associated with the formation of self-esteem, has a special role for the development of the individual. How well the self-esteem of a younger student will be developed depends on the success of a person in adulthood. And, of course, the school and parents should monitor self-esteem in adolescence, since during this period there may be various fluctuations in the child's perception of himself.

The initial stage of the formation of self-esteem

Self-esteem of younger students is based on the fact that they learn to understand their natural abilities and qualities of character that distinguish it from other children. His future achievements largely depend on the adequacy of his perception of himself.

The formation of self-esteem of a younger student depends on many factors. The following influences the formation of this internal quality:

• Family relations, in particular, plays the role of the usefulness of the family, as well as those cultural values ​​and, in general, the worldview that are cultivated between households.
• The external environment in which the child is located, that is, it is very important with whom and how he communicates.
• Natural and acquired abilities.

Self-esteem of a child at primary school age is a very fragile inner quality. Children's self-esteem is influenced by so many external factors, so it can change literally within a few days. That is why the development of self-esteem in primary school age requires adequate influence of parents, who must monitor the student's communication with other people from the outside world. But on the other hand, due to the fact that the student's self-esteem is flexible, it can be influenced in a timely and correct manner.

Diagnostics

To maintain self-esteem at a constant level, it is necessary to know certain features of this internal quality. Diagnostic techniques make it possible to recognize various degrees of deviations in the formation of self-esteem in children:

• When a child's self-esteem is underestimated, this is manifested in his desire for frequent solitude. The student does not communicate with peers, he is closed and does not have much success in school and sports. Very often, low self-esteem in a child of primary school age is manifested by the fact that he praises his classmates and strives to imitate one of them. When a girl has low self-esteem, she often considers herself not beautiful. Low self-esteem can manifest itself in children of primary school age and in preschoolers can be stoop. In this way, the child strives to become less noticeable.
• Normal self-esteem of a student is manifested by reasonable, adequate behavior. Most children are characterized by a wide range of interests appropriate for their age. As a rule, a student studies well, has a sense of humor, he is well-mannered, erudite, and it is easy to talk with him on any topic.
• Inflated self-esteem in a child is expressed in increased demands. Children with such a deviation very often loudly declare their own desires, regardless of the possibilities and opinions of loved ones. When a child has high self-esteem, he strives for leadership and considers all his actions to be brilliant, not subject to criticism.

Diagnosis of self-esteem of younger schoolchildren and adolescents allows you to timely notice deviations in the formation of internal qualities and make the necessary adjustments.

Correction methods

Very often there are questions related to what to do when there are problems associated with the formation of opinions about themselves in younger students and adolescents. To help develop adequate self-esteem, psychology makes the following recommendations:

• You can not compare the child with other children in terms of academic performance. This will lead to the fact that the self-esteem of young schoolchildren and preschoolers will be significantly underestimated artificially.
• Don't overestimate your child. All requirements must be set in accordance with the age of the student and his abilities. If this rule is violated, then a child of preschool age and at primary school age will experience a decrease in self-esteem. This will be due to the fact that he will begin to engage in self-flagellation, due to the fact that he cannot cope with the task.
• If the child has coped with the tasks, he must be praised. But this must be done in a neutral form, for example: “Well done! You did very well!” Competent praise will eliminate the risks of overestimating oneself and will help ensure that self-esteem in preschoolers and young schoolchildren will be fixed at the right level at a particular point in time. This means that the baby will continue to develop in the right direction.
• When a child does not succeed in something, then it is necessary to explain how a particular work is done and what causes his failures. Realizing what mistake was made, the baby will not be upset, and will not change his attitude towards himself.
• If the baby does not act correctly, then be sure to give examples from life related to what wrong actions can lead to.

It is necessary to strive to communicate as much as possible so that the development of self-awareness and self-esteem in preschool and school age in a child occurs harmoniously. From communication with loved ones, children very quickly draw the necessary conclusions for themselves, on the basis of which a correct assessment of themselves is formed.

Causes and dangers of low self-esteem

If you realize that your child has low self-esteem in primary school age, then you need to urgently take action. This is due to the fact that children who are unsure of themselves always become objects of ridicule and bullying from their peers.

If no action is taken, then in the future, an adult will face loneliness. He will not be able to make responsible decisions, and he will always doubt everything, which will push people away from him. But the saddest thing is that against the background of underestimation of oneself, which has its roots in childhood, addictions can develop that can completely destroy life.

The most common reasons for the formation of low self-esteem in a child are associated with the following:

• With careless upbringing, when little attention is paid to the child, and he does not feel the sincere love of his parents. This leads to the fact that the baby closes in his world, so the personal perception of himself in the future is difficult to correct.
• With excessive criticism of the child. In order to achieve the desired results, parents often put excessive emotional pressure on their child. Sometimes they demand the impossible, which complexes the baby and involuntarily underestimates his assessment of himself in childhood. This develops uncertainty and makes it impossible for a person in adulthood to make responsible decisions independently.

Boost self esteem

Very often, the self-esteem of a teenager or a younger student decreases due to various external conditions. Therefore, the question of how to raise a child's self-esteem is very relevant for many parents. It should be remembered that the self-esteem of a teenager and a child of a different age period largely depends on the attitude towards him of the closest people, that is, parents. No matter how old the children are, they are formed on the example of the behavior of people from the close environment. And if it is not possible to form the correct self-esteem in a child in childhood, then big problems may arise in the future.

There are basic psychological rules for parents that can increase the self-esteem of the child:

• It is necessary that the baby feels that you are proud of him and any of his achievements gives you pleasure. This approach will ensure that the teenager's self-esteem will be more stable in the future, as he will be sure of the support of his parents in any life situation.
• It is necessary to find an occupation for the student in which he can express himself to the fullest. If a teenager has expressed a desire to do something, then he must be supported in his endeavors.
• To increase the student's self-esteem, become a real support for him, the teenager's self-esteem will remain stable if he feels your protection.
• Teach your child to defend his own opinion and say “no” to adults if he can seriously argue this.

Peculiarities of teenagers' opinions about themselves

Even if it was possible to fix the child's opinion of himself at a normal level at preschool and primary school age, adolescents may experience fluctuations due to the increased influence of external factors. Features of self-esteem in adolescence and adolescence are that the child has to assert himself in adulthood. As a result, any failures can turn into self-doubt.

On the other hand, any teenager is characterized by an overestimation of his own capabilities in case of success, especially if he managed to achieve it easily. It is important to convey to the child that a reasonable, balanced approach is important in the activities of any direction. Any work must be done with high quality, only in this case you can develop self-confidence.

It is very important to develop responsibility in adolescence. This will help to stabilize the child's self-esteem. A teenager must learn to clearly understand that there is no need to please everyone. In this way, you can gradually develop the habit of feeling people, and, therefore, understanding them.

Supporting a child in any of the most difficult life situations will help to avoid stress. And this is very important, since the child's psyche is very unstable. Any bursts can lead to unpredictable reactions. For any developing young individual, natural uncertainty is characteristic, and this must be remembered.

How to improve student self-esteem.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem plays an important role in our lives, determining what we expect from ourselves and from others, and what we can ultimately achieve. What is self-esteem, what it happens and what it consists of - this article will help you answer these and other questions.

Self-esteem, as the name implies, reflects your attitude towards yourself, showing how you see yourself with your inner eye, how you evaluate your abilities, achievements, what place you assign yourself in society and in life in general. Self-esteem is closely related to such a concept as the level of claims, i.e. what we want to achieve and what we expect. The higher the self-esteem, the greater achievements we expect from ourselves, the more complex tasks we aim at, and the greater results we ultimately achieve.

Self-esteem can be underestimated, adequate and overestimated.

Low self-esteem means that we do not quite objectively evaluate ourselves and our abilities, downplaying their significance. People with low self-esteem often attribute their achievements to fortunate circumstances, reducing the role of their own efforts to a minimum. According to them, their success is “to blame” for a friend who came to the rescue in time, luck, which helped to get the right ticket, a teacher who taught them some special technique. In general, everyone, anyone, but not themselves.

Yes, people who want to appear modest say so too. The difference is that people with low self-esteem sincerely believe in the insignificance of their own efforts. By the way, such people, at all, do not know how to accept compliments. They are embarrassed, blush, make excuses, try to prove that what was said about their merits is clearly exaggerated, they can even express distrust and demonstrate aggressive rejection. In general, whatever the form of their reaction, its essence is the same - they do not take the compliment personally, attributing it to the speaker's tendency to be mistaken or exaggerate.

Adequate self-esteem- reflects a person's ability to perceive himself and his achievements with a sufficient degree of objectivity. This does not mean that such a person is always absolutely confident in himself and his abilities. He also has ups and downs, but in general, if you ask him if he is satisfied with himself, then his answer will be positive. Such a person will not strive to achieve the intended goal at any cost. It is also difficult to force him to commit rash acts by provocation.

Remember how the hero of the movie "Back to the Future" did when he was told "Weak to you?". He immediately tried to prove that he was not weak and constantly got into some trouble. So, a person who has adequate self-esteem does not need to prove anything to anyone. He knows his own worth and evaluates himself according to his own scale, brushing aside all pretense and unnecessary.

Yes, a person with adequate self-esteem also cares about the opinions of others, but he perceives it only as another factor, but by no means the most significant. And he considers this opinion in the totality and time perspective. Those. he does not draw conclusions from one carelessly spoken word, but collects information from several sources and for a certain period of time. Of course, he does this not purposefully and not quite consciously, but, nevertheless, constantly.

It's like with the weather, we always know what the weather is like now, although we rarely think about it purposefully. And if the temperature dropped sharply in summer, we don’t conclude that autumn is already coming, do we? In the same way, a person, by a sharp censure of his actions from others, does not conclude that he is bad in general, but understands that he did something wrong, which caused the rejection of others.

A person with low self-esteem in such a situation will conclude that he is bad in himself. He will think that he is a bad person, and not that he made a mistake, did something wrong, and this can be corrected if desired. Those. his perception of criticism will be more generalized, generalized.

And yet such people "collect" their failures, mentally constantly returning to them, considering them again and again from different angles. They often say to themselves: “Oh, if only…” At the same time, as a rule, they do not draw conclusions for the future, and when they find themselves in a similar situation again, they can make the same mistakes. As for successes, they are not noticed by them as accidental, not fitting into their picture of themselves.

Heightened self-esteem implies a tendency of a person to exaggerate their own abilities and achievements, often downplaying the abilities of others, although the latter is not necessary. A person with high self-esteem is not inclined to notice the role of extraneous factors that led him to success. As a rule, he believes that he owes all the achievements in his life only to himself, while his failures are the result of a combination of circumstances or the evil will of other people.

And in general, he is inclined to discard his failures and oversights as something insignificant, which has nothing to do with him. He reacts very poorly to criticism, aggressively defending his positions. Yes, no one likes criticism. But people with high self-esteem do not accept it at all, almost sacredly believing in their own infallibility. They just need to be always right! And all because somewhere deep in their souls they are not at all so sure of their own superiority.

Inflated self-esteem is often a compensatory response to an underlying sense of inferiority.

Low self-esteem deserves special attention on the part of teachers. Here are some tips to help educators improve student self-esteem.

1. The student must learn to evaluate himself.

When completing tasks in the lesson, teenagers are invited to evaluate them themselves before submitting them to the teacher for verification. After the work was checked and evaluated by the teacher, discuss cases of discrepancies in assessments, find out the grounds on which adolescents built self-esteem, and the indicators by which the teacher evaluated the work. The involvement of adolescents in evaluating the results of their activities gradually led to the fact that the number of discrepancies decreased. (This is shown by the practice of psychologists who worked with self-esteem correction). This experiment indicates that the inclusion of a student in the assessment of the result he achieves plays an important role both in mastering the requirements that the completed educational tasks must satisfy, and in forming his critical attitude to the result obtained, a correct idea of ​​the level of his educational achievements. It is important not to leave this discrepancy without discussion, even if it causes conflict situations, disputes, it is necessary to involve other students in the discussion, and not be limited to the ratio of teacher-student roles.

1. No need to compare teenagers with each other.

In the process of training and education in educational institutions, conditions inevitably arise that stimulate the constant comparison of one student with another. But in the process of comparison, the achievements and failures of each become known to everyone else. Constant emphasizing the shortcomings of some and the advantages of others adversely affects the personal development of adolescents. For those who are shown as a model, a feeling of superiority over others arises, for others who are constantly dissatisfied, faith in themselves is lost. It is important for a teenager to develop self-esteem. The most preferred options for work in this case are when the successes of one teenager are compared with the failures of another, with the only difference being that they are equal to him in terms of capabilities (abilities), but due to certain personal qualities, achieve other results in teaching. In these cases, all assessments, comments are made in order to show that the lag or success in learning depends on the attitude to work. Or another option: when each teenager is compared only with himself throughout the year, without bringing it up for general discussion, and without comparing its results with others. Comparison of students should not be random, spontaneous. It should be "correctly" applied as a way of influencing educational activities, personal development and improving the personality of a teenager.

1. Unsuccessful in the role of "teacher".

The study of unsuccessful and undisciplined adolescents shows that their bad behavior is most often a reaction to failure, a form of protest against the prevailing negative attitude towards them from the teacher and peers. The loss of a position in the team entails changes in the personality of a teenager, leads to an increase in self-doubt and a decrease in self-esteem. Work with such adolescents should be carried out to change his social position through the organization of new activities. An example would be to invite a teenager to help others. In psychological terms, this means a sharp change in the social and personal position of the adolescent, the nature of his activities and attitude towards himself. From the position of a weak, lagging behind, flawed person, which has become familiar to him, he immediately becomes a position of a stronger, more knowledgeable, capable of teaching another and independently evaluating his achievements. There are two goals here:

1.objective prerequisites are created for increasing self-esteem, self-confidence, strengthening self-esteem.

2. The role of a "teacher" puts the underachiever in front of the need to master the educational material that he must teach another, and in such a way as to be able to explain to another the essence of the task and the methods of its implementation.

1. Common mistakes teachers make when communicating with students which sharply negatively affect the formation of adolescent self-esteem:
   • Decreased grades for the discipline - the assessment must correspond to actual knowledge, and the behavioral characteristics of adolescents are, first of all, the characteristics of this age, which the teacher must take into account in his work.
   • It is important not only what mark the teacher gave, but also what he said at the same time: a teenager, first of all, should know what the teacher expects from him? Do not praise the easily successful, but encourage at least the slightest advancement of the diligent, industrious. Remember that a positive assessment is an orientation towards the positive in the student.
   • Pedagogical tact! - not condescension - but, above all, exactingness to the individual, not humiliation - but respect for the individual, not to despise - but to respect the individual, appeal to dignity and open up to a teenager the opportunity to become different, to believe in a growing person and his capabilities.
   • Appeal from above - better cooperation, help and encouragement of independent thinking.
   • The impersonality of education - students with insufficient external and internal motivation suffer from this, they do not perceive the lyceum, therefore, it is necessary to devote more time to communicating with adolescents, for example, regular holding of problematic class hours, organizing extracurricular activities, etc. This makes it possible to more close communication with students, more trusting interaction.
   • Limited to one subject - a teenager's self-esteem is largely determined by the level of intellectual development. A person with a broad outlook and mental inquisitiveness is inclined to show curiosity not only to scientific, technical, artistic or other subject knowledge, but also to a person, his psychology and behavior, knowledge of the laws of the formation of human relations. Therefore, it is important to expand the horizons of adolescents, to educate them in curiosity and a thirst for knowledge.

12 tips to improve self-esteem

The level of self-esteem affects all the actions of a person. Most often, a person's self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person's real capabilities are higher than a person's ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person's capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious impact. Of course, there are cases when a person has high self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people. For adults, however, the situation is reversed.

It is quite possible to increase self-esteem, although this is often a rather slow process. However, conscious attempts at building self-esteem can be beneficial to just about anyone.

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help you do just that:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there are people who have less than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.

2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You will not be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Self-esteem correction is directly related to your statements about yourself.

3. Accept all compliments and congratulations in return "thank you." When you respond to a compliment with something like “yes, nothing special,” you are rejecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, building low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your dignity.

4. Use affirmations(statements) in order to increase self-esteem. Put on a commonly used item, such as a plastic card or wallet, a statement like "I love and accept myself" or "I am an attractive woman and deserve the best in life." May this affirmation be with you always. Repeat the affirmation several times throughout the day, especially before going to bed and after you wake up. Whenever you repeat an affirmation, feel positive emotions about the affirmation. Thus, the impact effect will be greatly enhanced.

5. Use self-esteem workshops, books, audio and video recordings. Any information you allow into your mind takes root there and influences your behavior. Dominant information influences your actions in a dominant way. If you are watchingnegative television programsor read crime stories in the newspapers, most likely your mood will be inclined towards a cynical and pessimistic direction. In the same way, if you read books or listen to programs that are positive in nature and capable of boosting self-esteem, you will acquire qualities from them.

6. Try to communicate with positive and confident people who are ready to support you. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly suppress you and your ideas, your self-esteem goes down. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better and your self-esteem grows.

7. Make a list of your past accomplishments. It doesn't have to be something monumental. The list may include small wins, such as learning to snowboard, getting a driver's license, hitting the gym regularly, etc. Review this list regularly. As you read your achievements, try to close your eyes and feel the satisfaction and joy you once experienced again.

8. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Selfless? Helpful to others? Creative? Be kind to yourself and write down at least 20 of your positive qualities. As with the previous list, it is important to review this list frequently. Many people focus on their shortcomings, reinforcing their low self-esteem there, and then wonder why everything in their life is not as good as they would like. Start focusing on your strengths and you will be much more likely to achieve what you want.

9. Start giving more to others. I'm not talking about money. This refers to giving of yourself in the form of deeds by which you can help others or positively encourage others. When you do something for others, you begin to feel like a more valuable individual, and your self-esteem and mood increase.

10. Try to do what you enjoy. It's hard to feel positive about yourself if your days are spent at a job you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work or any other vigorous activity that brings you pleasure and makes you feel more valued. Even if your work does not completely suit you, you can devote your free time to some of your hobbies that bring you joy.

11. Be true to yourself. Live your own life. You will never respect yourself if you don't spend your life the way you want to spend it. If you make decisions based on the approval of your friends and family, you are not true to yourself and will have low self-esteem.

12. Take action! You will not be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you sit still and do not accept the challenges that arise in front of you. When you act, regardless of the result, your sense of self-esteem grows, you feel more pleasant feelings about yourself. When you procrastinate due to fear or some other anxiety, you will only feel upset and sad feelings, which, of course, will lead to a decrease in self-esteem.

You are a unique person, with great opportunities, with great potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will unfold. You will begin to take more risks and not be afraid of rejection; you will not be guided by the approval of other people; your relationships will be much more beneficial both for you and for others; you will do what brings you joy and satisfaction. Most importantly, high self-esteem will bring you peace of mind and you will truly appreciate yourself.

Low (by the way, like high) self-esteem interferes with a person very much in life. Self-esteem must be adequate. What to do to someone whose it turned out to be low due to some reasons that are not always dependent on him? How can he finally live a normal life worthy of him? All Answers.ru will give you some very simple but important tips on how to increase your self-esteem.

Where does low self-esteem come from?

The first and main reason is education. Parents very often reproach their children for everything they can and cannot do. In such a situation, the child very easily gets the feeling that he is doing everything in the world wrong. If in late childhood or in adolescence a person fails to overcome this feeling, then he carries low self-esteem with him into adulthood, and this is already truly scary and dangerous. A person will never be able to achieve something serious in life if he does not value himself.

The second reason is not so common, but also occurs. There are people with a soft and indecisive character, easily persuaded and "led" in every sense. It is enough for such a person to say in a rude or harsh form that he is worthless or does not represent anything, as his self-esteem will drop to zero. In this case, self-esteem is raised in the same way, i.e. a person is confidently and clearly told that he is actually very “good”.

Ways to increase self-esteem

1. Never get hung up and think all 24 hours a day that you have low self-esteem - it will not rise one point from this. There is such a rule in life that you need to stop wanting something for this something to happen. Increase self-esteem is about 200%!
2. When you do not understand the task, be sure to clarify it. It is better to be considered a fool only once than to be considered as such every time you meet.
3. Don't be a person who is dissatisfied with everything and everything. Try to look at the world more optimistically. In general, low self-esteem is most often found among pessimists. Therefore, one way to increase self-esteem is to become an optimist.
4. Any comparison harms self-esteem. Don't compare yourself to famous and successful people. This will not add points to the piggy bank of its own significance. And then, you don’t know what difficulties these people went through in life in order to achieve the success that they now have. Then why compare yourself to them?
5. Learn to be responsible for your words and proudly perceive everything that happens to you. This is where courage is needed. Don't make excuses if you've made a mistake. Take it for granted, even if it is very hard. Inner firmness, intransigence and high self-esteem - this is what is always there.
6. Never be afraid of anything. It is better to think over all your actions to the very end, if the most terrible event in the world suddenly happens. This will help you psychologically survive this situation and become more confident in yourself.
7. Charity is a great way to believe in yourself. Find a charitable foundation on the Internet, transfer some money there, and feel your own value to society. This is one of the best ways to boost your self-esteem.
8. Allow yourself imperfection. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings, accept yourself for who you are. Do not dwell on your negative traits (everyone has them), but focus, on the contrary, on your strengths (everyone has them too). All this will allow you to perceive yourself adequately and eventually become even more confident.
9. Change your social circle. You need positive and self-confident people who have achieved something, who have goals, movement and faith in the future. The environment has too much influence on a person to be neglected.
10. Do what you like, what pleases you. Let yourself be carried away by the process itself and the result. This will create a great mood and help you believe in yourself!

Despite the fact that the place of parents during this period is occupied by new authorities, their support is extremely necessary for a teenager. Together with Anna Bykova, a psychologist and author of the Lazy Mom book series, we will figure out how parents can help their child form a healthy, adequate self-esteem.

Adolescent self-esteem

As soon as the child begins to realize himself as a separate person (at about the age of two or three years), he has a feeling of "I", knowledge about himself is formed, for example: "I am Misha, I am a boy." Along with this, the question arises: “What am I?”

The child's perception of himself: “I am good. I'm smart. I'm loved" or "I'm bad. I am harmful. I interfere with everyone ”- depends on what assessment of others he hears. In adolescence, there is a shift in the focus of external evaluation. If at preschool age parents mainly influence self-esteem, at primary school age - teachers, then in adolescence the answer to the question “What am I?” looking for peers.

If peers recognize him as handsome, funny, smart, his self-esteem grows. If the reaction of peers is negative or completely absent (no one notices the child), self-esteem creeps down.

The authority of parents is falling, and their ability to influence self-esteem is lower than it was before. No matter how much a mother convinces her daughter that she is beautiful, the girl still has doubts about her attractiveness if not a single boy at school pays attention to her. But this does not mean that you should not try to help the child.

What should parents do

1. Do not aggravate or criticize. A teenager is already not sure of his own attractiveness, and if his parents confirm doubts, then self-esteem will fall completely. You can’t even criticize with good intentions: “What a beautiful girlfriend you have. But you are smart. In vain you spend all the time with her. She will quickly jump out with such an appearance. She may not need study, but you should go to university. You, daughter, study better. What does the girl hear? Just that she's not pretty.

2. Help the child feel beautiful. In adolescence, the importance of appearance increases. Parents can offer to go to a stylist, pick up a hairstyle, clothes, tidy up your teeth and skin. It happens that boys are very worried about skin rashes, but are embarrassed to talk about their problem. And the parents are sure that everything is in order, that their son is above worrying about such “trifles”. You should not pay close attention to this, but suggesting to go to the beautician together is a good idea.

3. Support your teenager. Do not forget to praise, and if there is no reason for praise yet, you can give credit of trust: “I see your potential. I know that you are capable. I believe in you". The support of a parent of the same gender is especially important. Only dad or another authoritative man for a boy can give advice on how to communicate with girls or behave in a “pack”.

A parent should broadcast two important messages: "I'm cool" and "You're cool too. Even a little better than me.”

4. Pay attention to your self-esteem. The child often identifies with the parents, so the adult needs to communicate two important messages: "I'm cool" and "You're cool too. Even a little better than me."

5. Create opportunities for new acquaintances: mugs, sections, holiday camp, travel. Getting into a new team, the child can open up in a new way. People will see the other side of him, and he will look at himself through their eyes. It happens that at school the child does not have a relationship with classmates, he does not communicate with anyone. But at the same time, everyone in the theater circle is delighted with his talent and sense of humor. The wider the social circle, the more different facets of the personality are revealed and the more voluminous the self-image becomes.

At the same time, it is necessary to teach him to understand people. When teenagers change their social circle, self-esteem may not change for the better: for example, from low or adequate to high.

Inadequately high self-esteem is a consequence of a strong internal vulnerability

At first glance, it may seem that the higher the self-esteem, the better. But inadequately inflated self-esteem can have negative consequences. It can be difficult for such a teenager to establish friendships. Others around him are uncomfortable, they feel inferior and tend to avoid communication.

Strangely enough, such self-esteem can be corrected in the same way as overestimated, because the “crown” is a consequence of a strong internal vulnerability. Out of fear that others will consider him worthless, the child will certainly want to become cooler, to prove himself in the best way, to prove to everyone his remarkableness. With healthy self-esteem, such a need usually does not arise. The formation of a healthy self-esteem is a slow and rather laborious process, and it is important that a self-confident and caring adult helps a child to go this way.

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