Lies are a widespread communicative phenomenon in the modern world. Scientific studies and surveys show that people lie on a daily basis. However, deceiving every day, people themselves do not know how to understand that a person is lying.

Only a "professional" liar and manipulator knows how to regulate his behavior so that others do not reveal his deceit. Psychologists and physiognomists are able to determine a lie by observing a person. But everyone can learn to recognize deception.

There are many definitions of lying. In logic, a lie is the opposite of truth, a statement that obviously does not correspond to the truth. In everyday life, a lie is called a deception realized by a person.

In psychology, a lie is a deliberate attempt to form a belief in another person that the speaker himself considers wrong. Conscious utterance of a lie is a kind of communication tactic chosen in a particular situation.

There are many types of lies:

• hoax,
• falsification,
• simulation,
• plagiarism,
• flattery,
• fairy tales,
• slander,
• bluff,
• self-incrimination, self-deception,
• exaggeration or understatement
• perjury, perjury,
• a good lie
• good lies,
• naked,
• children's,
• pathological
• involuntary.

Why do people cheat

Why do people lie several times a day? Everyday lie is not a gross deceit, but the concealment of insignificant information, it is a lie “on trifles”. Everyone wants to appear better and does not want to spoil relations with others.

A weighty and significant lie is always associated with some significant situation for the individual. It can destroy the structure of personality and spoil the life of the individual.

A person who is dishonest with himself and others is forced to live in constant tension from the need to hide the truth. The truth will sooner or later be revealed, and the revealed deception will entail a lot of negative consequences.

Scientists have two main versions of why people deliberately lie, even when they understand that lying will not lead to anything good:

1. Fear. Why does a person lie? Because he is afraid to tell the truth, even if he cannot admit it to himself.
2. Belief in the necessity of lying. An individual can be sure that it is better for the interlocutor not to know the truth, since it is difficult to accept, understand, and experience it.

Unfortunately, people are used to deceiving each other, but an unscrupulous lie is not a normal phenomenon, but an immoral act.

Every child is taught from childhood to tell only the truth and tell everything to his parents. But the baby still learns to lie over time, looking at adults. Children easily detect inconsistencies in the words and actions of adults and soon realize that untruth can be used as a way to get what they want.

Unless the person is an inveterate liar who takes delight and pleasure in deceit, he will feel negative emotions and feelings when speaking lies. Lying generates shame, fear, and guilt for making the decision to deceive someone and taking that action.

Saying and experiencing lies is. Negative emotions during a lie excite in the literal and figurative sense of the word, physiological changes begin to occur in the body, expressing excitement. The brain sends nerve impulses to the muscles, which cause visible to others and manifestations of deception.

Signs of a lie

How to know if a person is lying? What are the signs of a lie that help declassify it?

No known sign of a lie can be regarded as direct evidence of it. Conversely, the absence of signs of deception does not mean that a person is sincere.

You need to evaluate the behavior of the interlocutor as a whole. Separate actions and movements are considered in combination with other manifestations of a person in relation to the interlocutor.

The behavior of the subject who is lying differs from his normal, usual behavior. Therefore, it is much easier to determine that a person is lying if he is close or familiar. Determining whether a stranger or an unfamiliar person is lying is much more difficult.

When determining deception, a person is carefully observed, signs of a lie are noticed and his situational behavior is compared with normal behavior accepted in a particular situation and environment. Without knowing a person, it is easy to make a mistake and confuse his habitual action with a sign of a lie.

It is possible to catch the interlocutor in a lie, knowing the truth in advance or having the opportunity to verify the information heard. And how do you know that a person is lying when it is impossible to check his words? In this case, knowledge of the signs of a lie will come in handy.

Signs of a lie are verbal and non-verbal. Verbally, deceit is expressed in verbal form.

Non-verbal signs are divided into:

• physiological,
• mimic,
• gestural.

NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION:

1. Increased sweating and increased heart rate. Moisturizes the palms, forehead and skin area above the upper lip.
2. Dry mouth. From experiences, the throat dries up, a person often drinks water or swallows saliva.
3. Heavy, irregular breathing or its delay; deep breaths and heavy exhalations.
4. Constriction of the pupils, rapid blinking; staring into the eyes or, conversely, the inability to look at the interlocutor.
5. Change in complexion, redness, blanching or blotching of the skin.
6. The appearance of goosebumps on the body.
7. Tension in the face: twitching of facial muscles, wry smile, furrowed brows.
8. Trembling in the voice, stuttering, coughing, change in timbre, tone, volume of the voice (provided that these speech defects are not caused by anything).
9. Inappropriate and untimely smile or smirk.
10. Chaotic and fussy movements: walking back and forth, rocking the body and the like.
11. Rubbing and scratching various parts of the body.
12. Frequent touching of the neck and face: nose, lips, eyes, forehead, ears, back of the head.
13. Biting lips, fingers or nails.
14. Nervous twitching and tapping of limbs on the floor or other surfaces.
15. Crossed arms or legs, so-called bodily locks.
16. The desire to hide hands behind the back, in pockets, under the table.

All of the above manifestations can be observed when a person is simply worried, worried, trying to please. For example, before a public speaking or meeting new people. To determine for sure that a person is lying, you can compare his actions with words.

VERBAL SIGNS OF A LIE:

1. Unwillingness to discuss the topic and constant attempts to change it are clear signs of withholding information.
2. Reticence, evasion, or short yes or no answers. When there is something to hide, a person will be afraid to say too much.
3. Oaths. The interlocutor zealously tries to prove his case, swears and repeatedly gives his word of honor.
4. Long reflections before saying or answering something; protracted pauses in conversation.
5. Repeated flattery and attempts to enter. So the liar is trying to switch attention, reduce the vigilance of the interlocutor.
6. Attempts to arouse sympathy and self-pity. This is done so that the interlocutor does not even think to question the incoming information. Is it possible to doubt the sincerity of the "unfortunate" person?
7. Demonstration of indifference, ostentatious indifference to the topic under discussion.
8. Another significant sign of lying is behavioral. The deceiver never keeps his promises and always finds excuses for this.

It cannot be said that a person is lying if only one sign of lying is found. There should be several of them, both verbal and non-verbal.

How to deal with a scammer

According to statistics, the vast majority of women believe that the truth is better than deception, while at the same time, every second man is sure that a sweet lie is simply necessary in difficult life situations. But with age, men lie less, try to be frank.

Unfortunately, some people lie so skillfully that it is difficult to declassify them, relying only on the signs of a lie. Help will come. Having sufficient life experience, one can guess that a person is lying and protect himself from the consequences of deception.

Lies are classified depending on the degree of complexity, the level of "skill" of the deceiver:

• First level

Manipulation without the intention of influencing beliefs. Such a lie is called childish. The deceiver utters a clear lie, not realizing that it is not difficult to declassify him. Why do people lie like children? Because they are afraid of punishment or want to receive a reward, hiding negative or inventing positive actions, respectively.

• Second level

The manipulator convinces the interlocutor of the veracity of the information, realizing that this will affect all subsequent thoughts and actions. Roughly speaking, second-level liars know how to "show off", mislead.

• Third level

A liar knows how to deceive so that he is not caught in a lie. This is skillful manipulation and skillful deception. Fraudsters use tricks, techniques and deception strategies. Such "advanced" lies are not uncommon in politics, journalism, commerce, and entertainment.

Having noticed several signs of lies in the behavior of the interlocutor at once, it is worth considering why the person is openly lying and how to continue to behave with him. But do not rush to bring charges without checking your guesses.

Suspecting the dishonesty of the interlocutor, you need to:

1. Try to keep calm. The natural reaction to untruth is resentment and indignation. But if you express them in the heat of the moment, the deceiver will find a way to justify himself.
2. Guess why the person is lying now. To say exactly why a particular person is lying, only he himself can.
3. Check your assumptions, if necessary, find evidence and facts.
4. Talk to the deceiver, giving him the opportunity to explain the situation, confirm or refute the truthful information.
5. Establish fraud. Having understood the situation, you need to make a decision to forgive the deceiver or stop due to the loss of trust in him.
6. Not everyone will find the courage to expose a liar, sometimes it is dangerous to do so. But when it comes to intra-family conflicts or disagreements at work, it is simply necessary to find out why people lie and dot the i's.

Once a person who lied, it is difficult to regain trust, and if deception becomes a habit, others cease to respect and love. Liars and deceivers often become outcasts, stop in their development, degrade.

Lies can destroy any relationship, personal life and career. Why people lie knowing this remains a mystery. It is much more effective to communicate sincerely, openly, honestly express the available information, your thoughts and feelings to others.

I think not. How seriously you can take what a drunk person says depends on the degree of his alcohol intoxication. Small doses can give courage and "untie" the tongue, then a person can lay out real facts that he would never have said in a sober state. In a state of strong alcoholic intoxication, the vision of reality by a drunk is greatly distorted, he tends to exaggerate what he saw and heard, and therefore react inadequately, which is not a reaction characteristic of him in ordinary life. In any case, intoxication is poisoning, the processes in the body go differently, the brain also works differently. A person reveals himself best in a stressful situation, in which, besides him, there are also other people (catastrophe, fire, terrorist attack .. and so on), in a situation where something can depend on him .. Someone will help others , no matter what, and someone will run over their heads to save themselves .. Moreover, interestingly, usually if both people survive (both the one who helped and the one who ran away), then the one who ran away will talk about himself as a hero The one who helped, usually, will try to avoid talking about this incident and will rarely brag. Even alone with himself, not everyone can be himself and consider himself better or worse than he really is. Not everyone can even answer the question of how he will behave in a given situation. One, it seems to me, indicative situation happened when I was in my first year at the university. It was more than ten years ago, we were young and desperate)) And we had one not quite adequate teacher, even the dean's office thought so, once he ran after me around the audience with scissors, threatening .. Something to him imagined))) We really didn’t want to take the exam, and we had a “brilliant plan” .. We (a company of three girls, including me), decided to steal a statement from him and put down marks for the exam ourselves. Practiced on a draft. Since I was the best at forging the teacher's signature, I entered the grades in the statement and the teacher's signature for all three of us. We agreed, if anything, by all means we will bend the line that we passed the exam, and the teacher put the mark. Everything went well, the teacher did not notice anything and handed over the statement. Shaking hands with each other, the girls and I joyfully parted to rest for the summer in all directions. In the fall, a shock awaited us, the dean's office saw that the color of the ink of the pen in the statement was slightly different from the rest of the assessments (it was necessary to fill out strictly with one pen) and the teacher was called for an explanation. . He looked at the statement, remembered what kind of students they were and said that we did not pass the exam for him. We were summoned to the dean's office all together and pressed as it should, we, as agreed, insisted that the teacher set it himself. Then the dean's office acted more cunningly. Each of us received a personal call and was told something like this: “We know that you are a good student and would really not want to expel you, let alone open a criminal case for forging documents. We see that the grades were set with one hand. Tell me who did it , you'll get "Chorus" for the exam, and we'll deal with the one who gave the mark. The one who gave the mark will not know where we all learned from. For 17-year-old girls who studied excellently in almost all subjects, the phrase "criminal case" sounded very scary)) I stood my ground, put the teacher and that's it, they didn't hear anything new from me. They called the second girl, and after the pressure, she betrayed me, laid out how it all happened and told the whole story of how and what really happened. They called the third girl, she also admitted that the teacher did not give us grades and said that she herself put them on the list for all of us. As a result, the dean's office got tired of sorting it out, the testimony of the third girl unsettled them .. we were not expelled, the exam was closed, and we continued to study. Later, I asked her why she took everything upon herself, she replied that there was no point in blaming the teacher, because she was hinted that they knew everything and they only needed to confirm, they hinted at "giving false evidence against the teacher", and she could not set me up, because we participated in this case with the same share of responsibility. I think it’s a great example in which everyone behaved differently in a stressful situation. Probably, this is how you can understand what a person really is ..)

Yes, that's right, all people are born again after their physical death. But this happens regardless of the desires of a person, whether he wants it or not. The new birth is a process of nature, and it can be said to be automated. Physical death itself is not death, but a different life, in a different state - not in the physical, but in the energy, a life that can last until a new physical birth and one day, and a year, and thousands of years, this period is different for all people, but then again there is a birth in the physical body. And this new birth does not happen in the way that many people think, that the soul moves into another, alien body, but it is precisely born again, at first, after conception, not a physical embryo appears, but an energy one (which is naturally not visible externally) and only then this energy embryo begins to overgrow with physical flesh, forming a physical embryo and its further development during the entire period of pregnancy, then being born as a baby, a similar principle of new generation applies not only to humans, but also to plants and animals, all living things. (Therefore, once again I would like to point out one important thing - when having an abortion, a baby is killed not at the fifth month of pregnancy, as is commonly believed, but at any time from the first day, so before having an abortion, you need to think carefully about what it is in general).
And as for where a person can be born again, and where to be at his new birth, and whether he should be afraid of a new birth, just because he can end up in a bad place, one thing can be said that you should not be afraid, you should be afraid another ... now you will understand what exactly.
You are now asking if a person is sinless, kind, and good in his character, and whether such a person can find himself in a bad place during his new birth. So, the first thing that can be said is that there are no sinless people, all people are sinners, the only difference is that some of the people have more sins and some have less. But it is not the number of sins that determines in which place a person will be born in a bad place or in a good one, but the general energy of his soul determines. If in the soul of a person, at the time of physical death, light, positive energy prevails (at the same time, everything will be exactly to some extent negative), but there will be more positive light energy, then such a person will not be born in such bad places, such as you cited as an example - prison, in slavery, or where there is only suffering, he will be born again there, in the place where the energy of that very place will be correlative to the energy of his soul. Thus, in prison or in slavery, in other negative places, those people can be born again, in whose soul negative, negative energy will prevail (although positive energy will certainly be present at least to a small extent), but in the predominance of negative, they can be born in that place, a place that will contain and contain the corresponding energy of their soul (and these are just the same places that contain dark negative energy like a prison, places of wars of slavery, where there is suffering and evil, done by man himself).
Therefore, a person always has a chance to fill his soul with bright positive energy, even if there are many past sins, but what will depend only on himself, on his mind and consciousness. By doing good deeds, including not only in deeds and intentions, but also mentally in his imagination and dream, a person thereby fills his soul with bright positive energy. But what should happen sincerely, from the heart, and not be far-fetched. It should become the nature of man, and not his invention. Then the person in the new birth will be happy in life, and will be born in a good place.
That's what you should be afraid of, not the number of sins or their presence as such, but personal indifference in filling your soul with bright positive energy.
In addition, we should also mention the fact that the light positive energy that a person accumulates in himself, produces it himself and radiates it - makes a person more beautiful outwardly (if a person is already beautiful, then he will become even prettier, even more beautiful, this process has no limit ). -Improves or strengthens his physical health, makes his mind sharper and wiser, and increases life expectancy.

Hello!

You have asked a difficult question, so it is worth remembering a few important concepts related to this topic:

Yes, a person who once came into this world can return and be born again in a new body. And this is not a good religion that the Hindus invented, as the popular song sang, it is a reality established by the Creator. A reality without which it would be impossible to answer one very important question. We know that the world was created by the Creator according to the laws of absolute justice. If so, why are some people born with disabilities? Why are some born geniuses and others stupid? Are some born beautiful, others repulsive? Why are children dying? If death is a punishment, then what have these unfortunate children already done? Someone is born the son of an eminent Hasidic rabbi-tzadik, from childhood he has been in an atmosphere of great holiness, inherited a good name and reverence from others, and someone is born to an unhappy mother who earns her bread by hard work, inherits various vices from an alcoholic father and ailments. Where is the highest justice?

The doctrine of the transmigration of souls can clarify this issue. We come here to the world of action, each with his own baggage, in order to correct himself. We are taken away from here, but they can return us back. And if they returned, then we should know that we are being trusted and, by great mercy, are being given another chance. We are infinitely loved and, wishing to honor us with a lot in the world of Truth, they bring us here once again. And who knows, maybe we can achieve the maximum correction only by returning to this world in the body of a sick child...

Not every person necessarily returns to this world in a new body. Those who have already completed their correction do not return. But that doesn't mean he didn't sin at all. The sins that we repent of during our lifetime and that we manage to correct are read to us as merits. Good deeds, diligent study of the Torah, fulfilled commandments become in the world of Truth pure spiritual garments that clothe us. But the deeds that we did not have time to correct during our lifetime lie on these robes with dirty spots. And our soul cannot rise higher until it is cleansed. To do this, we are lowered for a certain period in the purgatory of Geinoma. And only after that they raise everyone to Gan-Eden to their own level so that, while staying there, we receive a well-deserved reward.

But there are sins from which it is impossible for a person to be cleansed in the higher, spiritual world, without correcting them in the material world. For example, if he fraudulently or robbery appropriated someone else's property. In this case, he is brought back to this world so that he returns the property to the one whom he robbed, or to his descendants. There is another reason why it can be returned. If it has been decided in Heaven that a person's soul, due to a certain problem, cannot occupy the corresponding level in the spirit world, it can be returned to this world to solve this problem.

It is important to understand that when a person is brought back into this world, the only purpose of his new birth is always correction. There are peoples who know about rebirth, but think that it is an endless process with no special purpose. A person is born, dies, is born in a new body. Dies again and is born again. One of the many questions they cannot answer is why those who have gone through a rebirth and remember it or discover it through hypnosis sessions sometimes talk about long periods of time, sometimes hundreds of years, that separate two births. After all, according to their ideas, a person who was born and died should immediately be born again. The Torah says that not everyone has to return to this world in a new body. And the one who still has to return does not return immediately. Sometimes he has to undergo some correction in the world of Truth, for certain violations, before a new birth - in order to complete the correction in the material world.

Now we need to clarify what it means to be born in a new body and how our Self is defined from the point of view of the Torah. Maybe then we will be able to understand what was said in your question: where will we ourselves be after death?

To begin with, I would like to draw attention to one point in your letter. You called your soul "some part of me that will not even be felt by another person." My soul, you ask, which is a combination of different souls, will leave me, well, where will I be? Such a perception, in principle, is inherent in the vast majority of people who are accustomed to associating themselves, their I, to a greater extent with their material body, and to a much lesser extent with the soul in this body. In 120 years, we say, at the moment of our death, a good guy, a friend, a devoted husband, the soul of the company, a wonderful performer of songs with a guitar will not be, and with him we cease to exist for ourselves. What remains is “some part of me”, what is called the human soul in the world. This is a kind of spiritual component, something that made us love, dream, suffer. What leaves us will disappear like a cloud at the hour of our departure from life. That's why you ask: what difference does it make to ME - in fact, ME will no longer exist!

How much the Jewish idea differs from the one described above, judge for yourself! Rabbi Chaim Vital, disciple of the great Arizal, in the book Shaarei Kdusha writes “The human body is not the human being. This is what Scripture calls flesh person as written: You have clothed me with skin and flesh, covered me with bones and sinews.(Job 10:11). And it is also said about the consecration of the anointing of temple utensils with oil: On the body man should not be poured(Shemot 30:34)." There are no superfluous words in the Torah. It could be said: "it should not be poured on a person." What is the meaning of "human body"? It is impossible to apply the anointing oil on a person himself, Rabbi Chaim Vital answers, because a person is an immaterial soul. That is why the Torah tells us about the human body. We are our inner spiritual content, the body is our “carrier”, our shell. The body itself is lifeless. The eyes do not see, and the ears do not hear, and the fingers do not touch. But the soul through the body. An indisputable fact: a person who has just died has eyes - why can't he see? There are vocal cords - why does not speak? If you try to put him on his feet - he falls! Why? After all, five minutes ago, when he was alive, he saw, spoke, and even could stand and walk? There is only one answer. The body is just a garment. Our clothes can neither jump nor run. But when we move, our clothes move according to our movements. In the same way, the soul animates the material body. And just as a tailor cuts clothes according to the size and shape of the body, so the Almighty created our body - corresponding to the structure of our soul. 248 organs and 365 veins in our body exist due to the fact that in the human soul there are 248 spiritual aspects corresponding to the organs, and 365 aspects corresponding to the veins. In total - 613, according to the number of commandments, the observance of which brings healing to all parts of our soul. And the type of clothing is chosen according to the activity that its owner will be engaged in - a conductor will dress in a strict tailcoat, a turner will wear overalls. Similarly, the body in which we are placed at birth is given to us corresponding to the tasks that we must perform in this world. The one who was sent to this world to be corrected through illnesses will receive a weak, sick shell. The one who will be tested by wealth, prosperity, the possibility of pride, most likely, will be placed in a healthy beautiful body.

Thus, man is spirituality imprisoned in the body. Therefore, when we talk about the return of a person, we are talking about the return of his soul. The man returns in a new robe. The moment we understand this fundamental principle, our whole attitude towards life changes.

First, we understand that we do not actually die. We just take off our clothes. Like a newborn baby who leaves the mother's placenta, which for 9 long months was his habitat and food. At the moment when she becomes unnecessary for him, he leaves her. None of us miss our placenta even though it was once a part of us. Today it is no longer me. In the same way, when a person leaves his body, he leaves his hiding place, his material carrier. Interestingly, a lot of information about the phenomenon of "clinical death" has recently appeared. About those who have already left their body, but were brought back. Near-death survivors say that at some point they suddenly see themselves hovering above their bodies. At the first moment, they cannot understand how it can be that they were outside, outside of what until the last moment was them! Those who are interested can search for information on this topic.

Secondly, we understand that at the moment of death we are, in fact, reborn. The first time we were born, we shed the placenta from ourselves, from the cramped world of the mother's womb, we climbed out to live in a larger world. The second time we throw off our body in order to be born for a new, much more spacious spiritual world, where we are dressed in spiritual clothes, as it is said (Zharya 3, 4): “Take off the soiled clothes from it. And he said to him: Look, I have taken away your sin and (ordered) to clothe you in smart clothes.

Now we can answer your question. When in 120 years we leave our body, our consciousness, our character will remain our consciousness and character. Because our soul is who we are! Our thoughts, our feelings of love and fear. Our doubts. Moreover, our attachments, what we are attracted to, will remain the same as they were in life. Rav Eliyahu Desler writes about this: “It is necessary to know that the actual death of the BODY does not change the internal state of a person. The villain, who throughout his empty life was attached to imaginary things (false, non-existent), at the hour of parting with the body remains attached to them. Further, Rav Desler explains that the sins of a person who has pursued only material pleasures all his life will serve as his punishment. The very pleasures to which he is accustomed in the material world, he will seek in the spiritual world. And the impossibility of obtaining bodily pleasures will bring incredible suffering to this soul. This is what is called cafe a-kela: the soul, in a thirst to search for things that do not exist, begins to rush "from one end of the world to the other." But the one who lived a spiritual life in this world, who was disgusted by material excesses, eventually finds himself in a spiritual environment natural for his soul. After all, it is said that the death of the righteous, their separation from the material body is very easy - like a knife is taken out of butter, and the death of a villain is very difficult - like wool is torn out of thorns!

Therefore, we should not worry about what will happen to our consciousness. It will stay with us. What should really concern us is with what spiritual baggage we will come to that decisive moment when we have to throw off our bodily garments.