Published with permission from New Harbinger Publications

Scientific editor Tatyana Lapshina

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

© Ted Zeff, PhD and New Harbinger Publications, 2004

© Translation into Russian, edition in Russian, design. LLC "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2018

Ted shares insightful insights, captivating stories about how hypersensitive people deal with adversity, and great practical advice on how they can support body and spirit. But the main thing is that he forms an attentive, respectful attitude towards hypersensitive people. We were lucky to get his attention.

Those who are familiar with my work will surely notice that Ted and I look at many things differently, and perhaps this will change your view of them. Of great importance is the understanding that, despite the similarity of the nervous system, we solve problems and relate to what is happening differently. The more reasoned opinions, the better - and Ted's point of view is worthy of attention.

Elaine Ayron

Introduction

When will the neighbors finally turn off the music? She drives me crazy. I can't take it anymore." - "What music? I can't hear her. Noise shouldn't be that annoying. There's something wrong with you."

There really is no need to worry if you are sensitive to noise, smells, bright lights, can't stand crowds, rush, and can't ignore irritants. It's just that you belong to the 15-20% of people who are called hypersensitive. This quality probably creates a lot of problems for you, for example, a tendency to underestimate self-esteem if others say that you are not like everyone else. Or anxiety and tension when you have to communicate with cheeky, hostile people. You also find it hard to pull yourself together, facing constant irritants throughout the day. In this book, you will learn many ways to survive and thrive in a world of non-HSPs, who are less afraid of aggression and overexertion. By applying the strategies for managing your feature here, you will appreciate your sensitivity and all the benefits of HSP.

The book is not only for hypersensitive people. She will teach those who are not in this category how to support their receptive friends and relatives. In addition, the coping strategies I share will help anyone experience peace of mind more often.

Why I wrote this book

I distinctly remember that I started to get anxious and suffer from insomnia when I was in the fifth grade due to the overload at school. I couldn't ignore irritants and got anxious in a noisy auditorium. By the seventh grade, school life became even harder. I was constantly stressed and could not concentrate on my classes. My parents took me to a psychologist to find out why I "reacted so strongly to everything" both at school and at home. Unfortunately, the doctor, who did not belong to the hypersensitive people, did not understand me and reproached me for excessive irritability.

Twenty years later, while earning my PhD in Stress Management in Psychology, I discovered that the inability to ignore stimuli was the root cause of my anxiety. Trying to fit into the aggressive world only increased my tension. So I made important changes to my lifestyle: I began to suppress my arousal, I stuck to a workout schedule that was right for me, I changed my diet, I started relaxing. In addition, I learned to appreciate and accept my sensitivity. The knowledge gained during my postgraduate studies led me to research in nutrition, meditation and holistic medicine for hypersensitive people. Based on them, I have taught stress management classes to medical staff in hospitals and colleges. Now I teach survival strategies to hypersensitive people and I am ready to tell my readers about it. The methods I describe are as effective for my highly sensitive students as they are for me.

What will you learn

In the book, I will share with you what I learned as a hypersensitive person and a psychologist. I'll tell you about the study of the concept of "hypersensitivity" in a dynamic, crazy world. I will present practical methods and strategies to enable HSPs to succeed in life.

You'll learn how society's patterns reinforce HSPs' negative self-image, how to appreciate your sensitivity, and change the habits that disturb your peace. I will talk about meditation exercises with which you can stay focused and calm, I will teach you how to create a daily routine that contributes to a more relaxed attitude towards external stimuli.

The book provides ways to influence your feelings and deal with the rush. You will learn how to maintain physical health through diet, exercise, and some aids.

Overexertion is closely related to sleep, so we will focus on adjusting sleep phases. You will also learn about innovative relaxation techniques that will improve it. You may not have thought about how being an HSP affects your relationships. This is an interesting and very important aspect of the lives of highly sensitive people. Special methods of harmonious communication with relatives, friends and colleagues will be a pleasant addition to the arsenal of a hypersensitive person.

We will discuss the unique challenges HSPs face in today's competitive work environment and how to cope with these stresses, explore methods for changing adverse conditions and creating a relaxed work environment.

You will understand how a natural inclination for deep feelings can help you experience inner peace. I will tell you how to develop your subtle mental organization and realize the benefits of your life.

We will look at frequently asked questions by HSPs about how to get out of difficult situations. For example, how to endure noise, get along with rude neighbors and colleagues with a difficult character, behave with relatives who ignore your sensitivity. And you will get practical solutions. is a guide to self-healing for hypersensitive people.

Now that you know why I wrote this book and what it's about, it's time to start the journey to peace of mind.

Chapter 1

“I can no longer put up with stress at work. A colleague at the next table discusses something at the top of his voice all day long, and the boss demands strict adherence to deadlines from me. At the end of the day, I feel like a squeezed lemon, I'm nervous and I suck in the stomach.

“Everyone in my family is passionate about adventure, but I prefer to stay at home. It seems to me that something is wrong with me, because I don’t aspire to go anywhere after work or on weekends. ”

Do you know such feelings? If so, then perhaps you are a highly sensitive person.

Do you know who they are highly sensitive personalities? Or maybe you, without knowing it, are such a person? Read on and you will learn a lot of interesting things!

6. They enjoy being alone.

They love being alone because it allows them to be alone with themselves and their emotions.

Therefore, they are usually referred to as introverts. This is probably due to hypersensitivity, which makes it more difficult for them to interact with the outside world.

7. They know how to sacrifice themselves

They always want to help other people and make their lives as easy as possible. High sensitivity brings the realization that they can make the world a little better.

8. They cry and laugh

Highly sensitive individuals live in a world of emotions and are able to switch quickly. That is why they can quickly let go of the shackling heavy thoughts and look at the world in a new way.

9. Thoughtful and responsible

That is why they work well in a team and successfully fulfill all their goals and objectives. If you are working on any project with such a person, consider yourself lucky. He will give 100% to his common cause.

Highly sensitive people, or “new introverts,” are the names of those who react more sharply than others to noise or fuss, quickly get tired of society and love solitude. These people subtly feel the world and pay attention to the smallest details, so they often make excellent poets, artists and writers. However, it’s hard for them to live among others: too often they have to make excuses for their fatigue and unsociableness, criticism hurts too much, too much energy is spent on empathy, as well as on meeting the standards accepted in society.

Ilse Sand, a Danish writer and certified psychotherapist, who has experienced first hand all the hardships and joys of the life of highly sensitive people, tells how new introverts can finally stop trying to rebuild themselves and start living their own pleasure in harmony with themselves and their feelings.

All rights reserved. The work is intended solely for private use. No part of the electronic copy of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and in corporate networks, for public or collective use without the written permission of the copyright owner. For copyright infringement, the legislation provides for the payment of compensation to the copyright holder in the amount of up to 5 million rubles (Article 49 of the LOAP), as well as criminal liability in the form of imprisonment for up to 6 years (Article 146 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).

Preface to the second edition

I am glad to present you the second edition of the book Close to the Heart. So far, the fourth printing of the first edition has ended in stores - in other words, more than 5,000 copies have already been sold. The book has also been translated into Swedish, and the included test is used by psychologists throughout Scandinavia.

I supplemented the second edition with a chapter devoted to scientific research on this issue. In addition, I have removed the discussions on anger, as they are reproduced in full in the book New Paths in the Labyrinth of Feelings, and also included a number of reflections on other relevant topics in the new edition.

Foreword

This book is designed for people with hypersensitivity, psychologically too vulnerable. But it was also written for people with an ordinary level of sensitivity, since life often brings them together with extremely impressionable personalities.

Throughout my life, I managed to visit a priest and a psychotherapist, thanks to which I met a lot of people. Talking with the most sensitive of them, I realized every time that I would be of real help to such people, just by telling them about this feature of their nature.

For this reason, in this book, I have chosen to pay special attention to the stories of those patients and clients through which we understand what it means to be so vulnerable in the modern world. All the patients I cite in this work are highly sensitive, but in some cases we can recognize ourselves.

I have repeatedly seen living evidence of how a person still managed to get along with his own sensitivity, gain courage and become himself, and therefore I sincerely hope that this book will help many other people in this.

In chapter 1 I describe the character traits of sensitive natures. There are no identical people, and hypersensitive people are no exception. Perhaps in some of the examples I have described you will recognize yourself, and some others, on the contrary, will not be easy to understand. However, I hope that these tips will be useful to you, even if only some of the traits I have described seem familiar.

The chapters can be read separately, independently of each other, so if you find some of them too easy or, conversely, too overloaded with theoretical calculations, I recommend that you just scroll through them without reading.

At the end of the book there is a test recently developed by Danish scientists, thanks to which you can determine the level of your own sensitivity. In addition, in this book you will find a list of activities that bring joy and peace to sensitive people. This list contains various activities that are most suitable for both those who have enough strength and those who are looking for peace.

Introduction

Sensitivity or, as psychologists call it, sensitivity, is a quality that can be considered both a punishment and a godsend. Personally, for many years I considered it a hindrance, believing that in some situations it limited my actions. And I considered myself an introvert until I read about the character traits of people with hypersensitivity.

During lectures at the university, I always took a break and told students that I needed to be alone for a while. People around always treated such requests with understanding. In addition, there were often people among the listeners who later informed me that sometimes they also felt the need to be alone. As a rule, they also thanked me for daring to admit this fact aloud.

Considering this feature of my own as a hindrance, I will nevertheless be immodest and say that it is compensated by many other qualities. I have a highly developed imagination - for example, I always come up with and develop topics for a lecture course very quickly, thanks to which I have found excellent speakers and lecturers over the years.

Self-esteem in many hypersensitive individuals is underestimated. It seems to us that completely different behavioral types are valued in the outside world. Some sensitive people have confessed to me that all their lives they went out of their way to keep up with others and meet other people's expectations. And only when they retired did they get the opportunity to live calmly and “slowly”. Surely you, too, at times want to learn how to live without worries, to “harden” a little and experience the same feelings that most of the people around you experience. Loving yourself, so vulnerable and sensitive, is very difficult - especially when life requires completely opposite qualities from you. Perhaps you have already tried to re-educate yourself for the sake of other people's requirements - and therefore now you need to learn again to love the real you, the way you really are. The first step in this direction is to learn to evaluate not the quantity of your actions, but their quality. You may have time to do much less than others, but everything that you do is most likely done very well. In other words, you are clearly not a champion in long jumps, but few people can compete with you in high jumps.

Comparing myself over the years with those around me, I constantly came to the conclusion that I was not up to par. This upset me terribly, and so I tried to avoid such thoughts, trying to focus on my positive qualities.

Perhaps you, too, are tormented by the realization that you do not know much. But as soon as you start thinking about it, those around you immediately notice the shortcoming you have discovered. Perhaps you are not as efficient as others, but as soon as you notice this, your colleagues also do not remain indifferent: “What, are you going home? Already?" And after that, you completely forget that in a relatively short time spent at work, you managed to do as many things as an ordinary person would not have done in a day.

I sincerely hope that this book will help sensitive individuals and just vulnerable people to pay attention to the positive qualities that they possess.

Increased sensitivity most often enriches the personality ... This advantage can turn into a huge disadvantage only in the most difficult and unusual situations, when self-control collapses under the influence of out of control feelings.

It would be a huge mistake to consider sensitivity as a painful component of personality. If this were true, then approximately one-fourth of the entire population of the earth could be called pathologically ill.

C. G. Jung, 1955

Chapter 1

Hypersensitivity - what is it?

Two different subspecies

Approximately every fifth individual is characterized by increased psychological vulnerability, and this applies not only to people. Higher vertebrates can also be conditionally divided into two groups - sensitive and coarser. The latter are determined and more willing to take risks.

We humans are divided not only by gender, but also by belonging to one of two psychological types. And the difference between these types is often more significant than between the sexes.

Hypersensitivity is a phenomenon noticed by psychologists for a long time, but before it was called differently, for example, introversion. According to the American psychologist Elaine Eyron, who first described the features of a hypersensitive personality, she herself believed for some time that introversion and hypersensitivity were the same thing, until she found that 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts.

“Hypersensitive individuals are called constrained, anxious or shy. These qualities can really manifest themselves if such people find themselves in an unusual environment, not finding support and help from others. However, it should be noted that, despite the difficulties that we experience in unusual conditions, in a familiar and peaceful environment, we are happier than everyone else.

That we are more difficult to tolerate unfamiliar environments and are happier in a calm atmosphere is scientifically proven: according to a study, children whose reaction to difficulties was sharply negative (that is, hypersensitive children) were more likely to get sick and make mistakes when they found themselves in a hostile environment. However, in a familiar peaceful environment, the same children got sick less often than the rest.

Observation and thoughtfulness

The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by a special sensitivity. We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and vivid imagination, thanks to which even the most insignificant events of the surrounding reality encourage us to build hypotheses and draw conclusions. Thus, our internal "hard drive" fills up faster, and we experience overexcitation.

From an overabundance of impressions, I personally get the feeling that more information simply won’t fit into my head. When I communicate with unfamiliar people, a similar feeling can occur in about half an hour or an hour. I am quite capable of pulling myself together and carrying on a conversation, listening to the interlocutor and pretending that everything is as it should be. However, it takes a lot of strength for me, and afterwards I feel completely overwhelmed.

There is nothing wrong with overexcitation, but if you are hypersensitive, then in such a situation you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will cause a desire to withdraw and withdraw into yourself.

You may recognize yourself in the description below. Eric (48) says that when he gets excited, he tries to hide and be alone with himself for a while, but secretly, because he is afraid that others will consider him arrogant, uncommunicative or withdrawn:

During big family celebrations, such as birthdays, I often lock myself in the closet, look in the mirror, and wash my hands for a long time, thoroughly lathering them. But at this moment, someone is sure to pull the handle of the toilet door, and I have to leave my quiet and peaceful refuge. One day I decided to hide behind a newspaper - I sat in a corner, unfolded the newspaper, brought it closer to my face and closed my eyes, enjoying the peace. But my uncle, a well-known joker, quietly crept up to me, snatched the newspaper from my hands and announced loudly: “Aha! Here is our recluse and got caught! Everyone laughed, and I was ready to fall through the ground.

Eric, 48

You, as a hypersensitive person, are quickly tired not only of negative impressions - even when you are at a fun holiday, at a certain moment you seem to be oversaturated, and in the midst of the celebration you feel an acute desire to withdraw into yourself. At times like this, this shortcoming depresses us a lot, because most of the time we want to be as “hardy” as everyone else. Leaving the holiday before everyone else, we, firstly, feel embarrassed in front of the hosts, who beg us to stay. Secondly, we ourselves are sorry to leave the holiday and we are afraid to seem boring or ignorant to other guests.

The cause of increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are able to experience genuine joy.

For example, those pleasant and calm impressions that arise when we listen to music or birdsong, look at pictures, inhale aromas, taste something tasty or admire a majestic landscape, awaken in us a feeling akin to inner jubilation. We are able to fully appreciate the beautiful, and this gives us incomparable pleasure.

sensitivity to sensations

If you are hypersensitive, you may find it difficult to distract yourself from extraneous sounds, smells, or visual stimuli. At times, sensations imposed from the outside drive you crazy. Sounds that people around you barely notice seem like a terrible noise that interferes with your concentration.

For example, on New Year's Eve, the sky, colored with fireworks, will surely delight you, which cannot be said about the explosions of firecrackers. It seems that these sounds penetrate every cell, play on the nerves, so on New Year's Eve and after it you are not yourself.

When I lecture or do therapy with hypersensitives, I ask the audience to share their best and worst experiences. Often, New Year's Eve falls into the list of the worst, and the reason for this is the explosions of firecrackers. Supersensitive people are annoyed even by completely harmless sounds - for example, steps in the apartment from above. In addition, they are distinguished by a very sensitive sleep.

From the outside, the hypersensitive seem to be very picky: in particular, they can not stand the cold and draft, so they try to avoid outdoor parties. A visit to the hairdresser sometimes turns into a real torture because of the harsh chemical odors. Visiting smokers, they also have a hard time. Even if the owner tries not to smoke in front of the guest, the smell of tobacco, eaten into the furniture and curtains, will certainly reach the sensitive nose. I was told about one poor fellow who even quit his job because his colleagues were constantly listening to the radio and it prevented him from concentrating.

Hypersensitive individuals are rare guests in a cafe where loud music is playing or too crowded. It is generally difficult for highly sensitive people to find a cafe to their taste - especially if they are tired, hungry and not walking alone.

I'm so hard to please that sometimes I hate myself. Less fastidious do not even imagine how easy life is for them!

Susanna, 23 years old

As highly sensitive people, many things are not easy for us. Our pain threshold is lower than others, and therefore the hostility from the outside world hurts us much more.

Impressionability

Many hypersensitive natures admit that they hate quarrels and swearing. They can hardly stand it when others quarrel or are simply in a bad mood. However, this feature also has its advantages: we are able to be sensitive and responsive to the feelings of others. For this reason, we often choose professions that enable us to help others, and we often succeed in this endeavor.

Hypersensitive people who work in the healthcare system report that they often feel exhausted at the end of the working day. Due to our impressionability, excessive sensitivity and inability to abstract, we allow other people's experiences to influence us and therefore, when we come home, we still think about work.

If your work is connected with people, I advise you to take care of yourself, because stress leads to the most deplorable consequences.

I am often asked whether it is possible to get rid of excessive impressionability in oneself. Thanks to hypersensitivity, a person has a kind of invisible antennas that allow him to capture the mood of others. From time to time, I myself want to get rid of these antennae forever and thus cut off the endless stream of impressions. I want to be blind, deaf and insensible. And although this is most likely impossible, any of us is quite capable of controlling our own perception.

If you feel that your friend or colleague is not happy with you, you can draw one of two conclusions: “He is angry with me. What did I do wrong? or "He just doesn't know how to solve his own problems, and that's why he's upset." By choosing the second way of reasoning, you will significantly reduce the degree of your own experiences. In chapter 8, I explain the relationship between feelings and thoughts in more detail.

Under favorable circumstances, excessive sensitivity brings certain benefits. So, psychologist and neurologist Susan Hart noted the following pattern:

Babies who are more responsive to their environment are more likely to respond to stimuli. If at the same time the child is surrounded by love and brought up in a calm environment, then he shows a greater interest in life and the ability to empathize, knows how to rejoice and more easily achieves a state of harmony with the outside world.

Susan Hart, 2009

Highly sensitive people who grew up in a favorable environment learn from childhood to see a certain advantage in their features. However, those who did not receive affection and love in childhood, having matured, can also learn to support themselves and manage their lives in such a way as to turn hypersensitivity into an advantage.

Responsibility and integrity

An experiment involving highly sensitive four-year-olds showed that these children were less likely to lie, break rules less often, and act selfishly less often, even when they thought no one was watching. In addition, they solve moral dilemmas in a more socially responsible way.

Many highly sensitive individuals sometimes take responsibility for the whole world. Often, from a very early age, we catch discontent from others and do our best to correct the situation.

Feeling that my mother was unhappy with something, I was ready to do anything to help her, and came up with different ways to make her life easier. One day, for example, I decided that I would smile at everyone we met on the street - both acquaintances and strangers. I thought that in this case they would all decide that my mother is a real sorceress, because she managed to raise such a cute child.

Hanna, 57 years old

Feeling disharmony, you immediately try to correct the situation and take control of the situation. For example, if someone is having an argument at a party, you patiently listen to the dissatisfied, try to console them, or suggest different ways to solve their problem. As a result, you soon get tired and leave the party, and former enemies forget about the quarrel and continue to have fun.

End of introductory segment.

Text provided by LitRes LLC.

You can safely pay for the book with a Visa, MasterCard, Maestro bank card, from a mobile phone account, from a payment terminal, in an MTS or Svyaznoy salon, via PayPal, WebMoney, Yandex.Money, QIWI Wallet, bonus cards or in another way convenient for you.

Do people say that you are too emotional and take everything to heart? You don't have to think that something is wrong with you. Perhaps you are one of those who are called "hypersensitive". The thing is that this is your personal perception of reality and it’s hard for you to live differently. In psychology, this phenomenon is considered quite normal and there are characteristic signs that help identify hypersensitive people.

1. 100% sensitivity

Perhaps this is the most important distinguishing feature of such people. Their brain works differently and seems to catch all the sensitive waves. That is why they take all the information very seriously and, as it were, pass it completely through themselves. The emotions of such people are very vivid and almost palpable.

2. High level of intuition

Often, hypersensitive people can determine that something is wrong with their loved ones. It is impossible to hide their feelings from them. They seem to read right through people. This is because their sensitive channel is very well tuned and is able to catch any, even minimal, changes.

3. Independence

Hypersensitive people do not like team activities. They study/work best when they are alone. They are able to quickly figure out something new on their own.

4. Flattery for good

To be honest, this can hardly be called flattery, but such people have an important point - they always want everyone to like it. But this is not because they have high self-esteem. The thing is, they want everyone around to feel good. They are afraid to imagine that they can hurt someone. Negative emotions destroy their sensitivity. That is why they are very courteous with everyone and often help people.

5. Observation

The brain of hypersensitive people works like a scanner. He reads all the information, notices even minor nuances, which, by the way, are important in their lives. Such people cannot be deceived, as they will easily feel fake emotions.

6. Perfectionism

Someone might think that this is too much, but such is the nature of hypersensitive people. Perfectionism literally flows in their veins and makes them do everything perfectly. For them, this is important, as they are trying to maintain a balance in life, as well as avoid destruction of any kind.

7. Emotions in the palm of your hand

The level of sensitivity of such people is so great that it is difficult for them, and sometimes they don’t even want to, restrain themselves. If such a person wants to cry, he will do it. Hypersensitive people consider it natural and are not ashamed of their reactions.

Hardly anyone likes to be yelled at at all. In the case of hypersensitive people, everything is more cardinal - they cannot stand it. Harsh sounds generally scare them. They prefer tranquility. Screaming only blocks the perception of the situation.

9. Endless creativity

Such people are constantly in a creative storm. They receive so much information that they instantly transform it into some kind of creative process. What's more, hypersensitive people's brains can work on multiple levels at once, which is why they often become addicted to more than one thing.

10. Ahead of all

For hypersensitive people, "trends" is just a word. The fact is that their level of sensitivity allows them to predict trends. Intuition helps them to be ahead of everyone. That is why many cannot fully appreciate their tastes, and sometimes they do not understand at all. Of course, until they themselves fall under the wave of “trends”. Meanwhile, hypersensitive people are already opening new doors.

When you think about the secret of successful people, what qualities do you think help them achieve success? You will be amazed by their ingenuity and creativity in solving problems. Or maybe you will be overwhelmed by their emotional intelligence and fantastic ability to make contacts with other people.

This is just a partial list of the qualities of highly sensitive people (HSPs), who make up 20% of the world's population.

Despite popular belief, highly sensitive people often make great leaders. They tend to be successful professionally. They are both disliked and highly valued for their commitment to the cause, even if they are good at ruffling the nerves of their colleagues from time to time.

High sensitivity is a feature that is misunderstood. I myself belong to a highly sensitive people, therefore, more than once suffered because of my empathy and always experiencing nature. Fortunately, attitudes towards sensitivity have changed in society, partly due to the recognition and acceptance of the principle of neurodiversity. It is that neurological differences between people are normal.

Being very sensitive is a superpower, but only if you use it correctly. Otherwise, it, on the contrary, can complicate your life.

In order to survive in our world, highly sensitive people have to be guided by certain principles that relate to absolutely everything - love, work, and even how to live with such a feature of the psyche so that it does not hurt.

The Secret Life of Highly Sensitive People
It consists in the fact that they notice every little thing, they just read between the lines. Believe it or not, highly sensitive people make wonderful entrepreneurs, namely marketers, because they are great at making contacts, listening to other people, empathizing with them.

Highly sensitive people are very conscientious.

Details, structure, organization are your forte. After all, you are so deeply immersed in the process that you can easily develop long-term plans and think through the best solutions. And this, you see, is a valuable help.

Highly sensitive people can concentrate on an idea with real fanaticism. All these qualities contribute to success in our difficult time of information technology and clip thinking.

Highly sensitive people are more creative and creative.

There are many highly sensitive people among the world famous artists and artists. Why? Hypersensitivity and a rich inner world make them just made for success.

So use your natural curiosity, ask questions, use your gift. All this distinguishes you from other people and is a big plus.

Highly sensitive people do everything with genuine passion.

You are very proud and try to make as few mistakes as possible. You are equally passionate about your work and relationships. It is felt. As a rule, such people are interested in many things and know how to do a lot, which often makes them pioneers in a particular industry.

HSP and success
Can your hypersensitivity interfere with your life? Of course, this cannot be ruled out. But with a certain amount of balance and thoughtfulness, you can turn this feature of yours into a huge force.

Try to get feedback.

Most highly sensitive people, despite the fact that they communicate well with others, feel very uncomfortable during public meetings or presentations. One critical remark is enough for them to survive for several days later.

Therefore, if you are a highly sensitive person, always be ready to play with high stakes. You must be ready for any questions, calculate everything one step ahead. Prepare a few blanks on how you will react if something goes wrong during the discussion.

For example: “Let's return to the discussion of this point a little later”, “Quite a difficult question. What is your vision of the situation?”, “Thanks for the feedback. Give me some time to process what I've heard.

Don't react - answer.

Life does not always go according to the intended scenario, therefore, HSPs should develop the ability to respond correctly to its challenges. In order not to panic and not succumb to emotions, learn to put a barrier between what is happening and your reaction to it.

For example, when your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink for the umpteenth time, don't let the stress wash over you. HSPs are felt more and more acutely and deeply, so such a reaction will only aggravate everything.

An explosion or, conversely, silence - these reactions are not constructive. Instead, take a deep breath and count to five before answering. This will help you curb your emotions.

Quietly ask yourself why you are unhappy. Take time out and come back to discuss the problem later. Write down your thoughts before answering. There is nothing to be ashamed of in this pause. In fact, this is a sign of your maturity, thoughtful attitude to life and healthy self-control.

Set reasonable boundaries.

It is important for highly sensitive people to conserve their energy without wasting it on trifles. You spend all day passing through yourself the feelings and moods of other people, which is why it is so important. Naturally, all the negativity affects you. It can even be noise in the room, bad music and so on - all this affects sensitive people.

Simple, at first glance, things can help you with this. You can, for example, come to the office half an hour earlier to be quiet during this time, to tune in to the working day. For example, I always set aside 15-30 minutes between meetings to be alone, to concentrate.

Managing your energy effectively comes down to setting strong boundaries and being mindful of what you let into your life. Keep toxic people out of your way, don't let the media influence you. Learn to relax and rest.

If HSP is your loved one or colleague
Highly sensitive people make excellent life partners and community leaders. Although it must be admitted that loving them, living or working next to them is quite difficult. You cannot (and don't even try) to change them. But you can always support them with the following tricks:

If you work with HSP:

Keep them up to date on everything that's happening. Maximum information! Highly sensitive people perceive new and most complex information very well, because the more they know, the more effective they work. Whenever possible, always give them time to prepare. For example, familiarize them with the agenda ahead of time. Focus on coaching, not criticism.

If you love HSP:

Be sure to set aside time when your partner can be alone or in silence. Be prepared that he will suffer from insomnia. It can be very difficult for them to fall asleep because of their active and inquisitive mind.

Be patient with them during misunderstandings. Don't be offended when they want to be alone. You will always have time to catch up - during trips to theaters, museums or trips out of town. HSPs love to get new knowledge, as well as nature, art, and are always happy to embark on pleasant and funny adventures with you.

Whether your highly sensitive person is your spouse, brother, or co-worker, try to keep that personality in mind and use it for the benefit of your relationship or work.

It will not always be easy, but over time you will realize that it was worth it: very sensitive people change our world for the better.