Many people dream of a beautiful and comfortable life, but not everyone makes efforts to realize their desires. They write down goals, make plans, and strive to fulfill them. According to statistics, only a small number of people achieve their plans, and all the rest stop their actions at the first failure and wait for the right moment, which no one knows when it will come.

Then people begin to blame the whole world and regret the wasted time. Why is this happening? There are 12 reasons why a person cannot realize himself in life.

1. Living in a comfort zone

Many people are afraid to get out of their own, they live “well” there. If you are constantly lazy to get down to business, lying on the couch, staying up late on social networks, and then sleeping until 11 o'clock in the afternoon, then naturally your life will not change in any way. It is necessary to perform completely opposite exercises for 21 days. During this time, you will develop the habit of acting, and you will quickly get out of your comfort zone.

2. Complain about and without it

A person is very often dissatisfied with many things that surround him - appearance, clothing, personal items. Your whining will not lead to anything good, unless you become even more dissatisfied with everything. Instead, find an occupation that brings good money and pleasure.

3. Indulging your bad habits

Everything that happens to a person is the result of his actions. Poverty, illness and other troubles depend only on ourselves. Alcohol, smoking, fatty and unhealthy foods kill not only our health, but also the chances of a normal and bright life. Get rid of bad habits and go in for sports.

4. Fear of not having friends

You very often worry about the fact that you do not have friends who share your interests. Believe me, none of the scientists shared their developments with anyone, they only had subordinates. You should never bother about this, because real friends will support you even if they don’t like your hobby.

5. Procrastination

Many mistakenly think that there is plenty of time for action, but this is a big mistake. The more you mess around, the less chance you have to succeed. Time flows like water, and it becomes less and less. Don't sit, don't think, start acting, after all.

6. Bad communication

Each person has such acquaintances or friends who carry a lot of negativity. Communication with them will not lead to anything good. Such people, splashing out all their negativity on you, take away your energy. You should avoid such comrades or try to keep your communication to a minimum. Instead, meet successful and positive people.

7. Talented are not born

Looking at your idols, you often think that he is endowed with talent at birth, but this is absolutely not the case. Behind each such person lies a huge work and a lot of effort. With great desire and perseverance, you can reach great heights and be no less talented than other celebrities.

From a very young age, a child must be taught to be independent and quick-witted. For this, children's educational games are optimally suited, which lay the foundation for further achievements in life. Talent manifests itself only when it is persistently developed.

8. Shallow knowledge

Without developing, a person does not grow and begins to degrade. Read books on any topic than watch TV. Study the biographies and lives of famous people, be interested in historical facts and other useful things. All this knowledge develops the best qualities in you. And finally, it is pleasant to communicate with an intelligent and educated person.

9. Internet Addiction

Nowadays, almost every second person is constantly on the Web, but there are also people who practically live on it. As soon as they wake up, they immediately check their emails or social networks, and are online until late at night. Such individuals are not something to act, they have no time to live. Of course, this does not apply to those who work on the Internet - freelancers, webmasters and developers. Limit your time on gadgets, because nothing bad will happen if you do not immediately respond to the message, but you can miss a lot in the present.

10. Unwillingness to take responsibility

As children, our parents were responsible for us, but as we get older, we are responsible for our own actions. But losers and weak people shift the blame for their failures onto others. Enough! Pull yourself together. .To realize yourself in life, learn to recognize and accept your mistakes. You are the most important thing in your life, so make your "I" the main thing for you.

11. Fear of getting into an awkward situation

Often we lose people close or dear to us just because we are afraid to say or ask something. Be sure to say or ask what interests you, but try to formulate everything correctly, do not mumble and make long sentences. Remember, you do not know how to read other people's thoughts and are not required to know everything in the world. Do not be afraid to make mistakes, because experience is built on them, and you can realize yourself in life.

12. Waste of money

Money must always be valued. You should not buy various trinkets on sale, which, when you come home, you simply put on a shelf to collect dust. Save on cafes, because it will be much more useful to eat healthy and tasty food at home. Necessarily, for this you can get a notebook or home accounting on a computer.

Have you ever wondered how famous and successful people got to where they are today? BUT Do you want to change your own life? To make it better and more interesting, to achieve real success?

Whatever the specific reasons for the success of this or that person, the main thing that characterizes all successful people is a high level of their personal self-realization.

By self-realization, humanitarian psychology, the founder of which is considered the famous American psychologist and philosopher A. Maslow ***, understands the state of realization of the inner nature of a person. Self-realization means more and more complete becoming oneself, the expression of one's inner essence on the outer level of life. This is what makes a person an extraordinary person.

Self-realization is the disclosure of one's own capabilities - and this is the path that leads a person to a happier and more successful life.

Self-realization is the highest human need

Psychology and neurophysiology generally proceed from the fact that a modern person realizes on average only 5-10% of his potential. If you imagine that a pianist uses only his left little finger when playing, you will get a visual idea of ​​what this means. Can such a game bring pleasure to the pianist himself, not to mention success with the audience?

A. Maslow is the author of the hierarchical model of human needs - the so-called " pyramid of needs"The "higher" level of needs, the more happiness their implementation can bring to a person. The highest level of happiness and satisfaction is brought by " higher"needs that are directly related to the self-realization of a person, with self-development.

However, while more lower"The needs are not satisfied, it is difficult for a person to turn his gaze to the needs of a higher order and feel the joy that they are able to give. Daily worries about food and clothing, work and housing often completely absorb a person. There is little joy and little meaning in such a life. From the point of view of A. Maslow, this is a kind of preparation for life, rather than real life.It is no coincidence that many people of modern society experience frustrations, depression associated with a vague or obvious awareness of the routine and meaninglessness of their existence, their non-realization. According to the estimates of doctors at the WHO International Conference held in Moscow on April 28, 2011, about 30% of the population of the Western world suffer from depression, and in 20 years this figure will be 50%.

The last three levels: "cognition", "aesthetic needs" and "self-realization" are collectively called the "need for self-expression" or spiritual needs.

A. Maslow proceeds from the fact that human life acquires the more meaning and satisfaction, the more is done to implement the so-called " extreme" or " core values, i.e. love, freedom, truth, justice and beauty.

But the feedback is also important: the higher the level of self-realization of a person (the level of disclosure of one's own abilities), the easier a person achieves his goals in terms of satisfying the needs of a lower order. Self-realization means the growth of a person's personal effectiveness in any area of ​​life.

As a result, a self-realized person keeps idealism and materialism, "higher" and "lower" in balance. The material side of life brings him the same satisfaction as the spiritual.

Self-realization - the maturity of the individual

Self-realization means the fullest possible disclosure of not only individual, but also universal qualities inherent in any developed human being.

Self-realization is the formation of certain personality traits that most fully reflect the inner nature of a person, which is perfect.

The inner nature of a person is consciousness, which, being the most essential characteristic of a person, determines the whole style of his thinking and behavior. Therefore, self-realization is directly related to the disclosure of the full potential of human consciousness. We can say that self-realization is an indicator of a certain inner maturity of consciousness person. The ever more complete use of the potential of human consciousness makes him an ever more perfect personality.

A. Maslow studied people who became extraordinary personalities (artists, entrepreneurs and politicians). As a result, he established the signs that characterize self-actualized people.

1. Those who have reached the goal of revealing their own capabilities (self-realization) perceive reality more clearly. He is able to better distinguish between reality and hopes, expectations or beliefs.
2. A self-actualized person accepts himself as he is.
3. The behavior of someone who has reached a high level of self-realization is characterized by spontaneity, simplicity and naturalness. Artificiality and passion for effects are alien to him.
4. A person who has achieved self-realization is focused not on himself, but on solving a problem. He is not too absorbed in caring for himself, but lives for the fulfillment of a task, goal or mission that is important to everyone. A self-actualized person acts with responsibility, and not like a "chess piece".
5. Loneliness does not oppress him. He is self-sufficient.
6. People who have reached a high degree of self-realization endure the so-called "blows of fate", deprivations, frustrations, etc. more easily. They are more independent of the influences of the surrounding world. This lifts them above circumstances, allowing them to direct their lives in the direction they need.
7. They are able to constantly re-evaluate the basic values ​​of life, no matter how it may impress other people. It also means that self-realized people do not know boredom.
8. People who have achieved self-realization sometimes experienced mystical feelings, such as: unlimited possibilities, indescribable surprise in relation to reality, infinity of time and space, etc.
9. Self-realization makes the relationship of people who have achieved it with other people more complete and harmonious. Self-actualized people feel connected with others more clearly than the "average person", but their circle of close friends is limited.
10. People who have achieved self-realization have a democratic character: they are equally friendly to people of any type. They are always open to learning from everyone.
11. Such people have clear moral ideas and strong ethical principles. They do not need to be told what is right and what is wrong; but their views on good and evil often do not coincide with the opinion of the majority.
12. They understand humor, but they do not laugh at malicious jokes that hurt other people, as well as such jokes that make fun of the weaknesses of others. Therefore, compared to "ordinary people" they look reserved.
13. Creativity, originality or ingenuity are indispensable companions of self-realization and are inherent in all self-realized people. Self-actualized people constantly have new ideas.
14. People with a high level of self-realization are quite tolerant, but in critical situations they show determination and courage.
15. Self-realized people are extremely devoted to their family.

Self Realization and the Transcendental Meditation Technique

The Maharishi Transcendental Meditation technique is a simple and effective way to develop a person's full mental potential and increase his level of self-realization. As confirmed by numerous tests conducted with meditators, after 2 months of meditation, the subjects show progress in such indicators as integration and personality stability, emotional maturity, purposefulness, high self-esteem, the ability to maintain good relationships, flexibility in achieving goals, adaptability to difficult conditions and other features characteristic of a person with a high level of self-realization.

During meditation, deep stresses and tensions accumulated over a lifetime are dissolved, which are the cause of all stereotypical reactions and behaviors inherent in the psyche of a person. This removes the blocks and restrictions that usually put pressure on a person all his life, and allows you to reveal all the richness of the inner world of a person.

Meditation increases self-esteem and allows you to integrate certain repressed parts of the personality. It eliminates the need to constantly suppress their qualities, which are considered negative. Instead, it provides the meditator with an opportunity to listen to his inner self. Here is how one meditating woman put it:

"I used to learn to be what others would like me to be. The cost was to lose contact with myself. With meditation, the feeling of my personality came to life again. Slowly but surely, I began to feel the various features of my inner reality. I became freer and freer to be guided in my thoughts and actions by my own experience. I began to trust my own impressions and feel more confident. Meditation gave me a chance to restore broken contacts with myself. I agree to be who I am, without the help of constant orders and prescriptions like: " Say something, too," "Be careful," etc. And suddenly everything went much easier and more naturally."

Meditation removes the very cause of all thought patterns and "vicious circles" and releases the power to change behavior that leads to stagnation and self-destruction.

Self-realization is a natural, automatic consequence of the development of consciousness that occurs as a result of meditation. The disclosure of one's own capabilities is a natural process that begins when there is no significant mental opposition in the mind of the person himself.

Self-realization is the goal of life

Self-realization, self-disclosure means, according to A. Maslow, the process leading to becoming more human. Self-realization leads to a higher degree of perfection, to becoming more and more human.

Self-realization- the most complete realization of one's own inner nature is the true goal of the life of every person.

"Man by nature strives for a full and absolute being, for an ever more complete realization of his existence - just as the acorn strives to become an oak"

A. Maslow

Yu. Sycheva, Candidate of Economic Sciences,
Transcendental Meditation Teacher

*** Abraham Maslow (eng. Abraham Maslow, 04/01/1908 - 06/08/1970) is a prominent American psychologist, the founder of humanistic psychology. His ideas are most detailed in the 1954 book Motivation and Personality (Motivation and Personality).

Quite a popular statement: "You can become whoever you want to be." That's just "desired being" does not mean that it is useful and what this person really needs. It's like summoning a genie from a bottle so that he fulfills his deepest desire. He fulfills it - but it has become even worse than it was.

Or a more everyday example. It's like poke your children in all desires. If it reaches for the "shiny little thing" with snot and shouts: "Hotsiu." It does not mean that a shiny little thing is good for a child. (Brilliant can be: like daddy's watch, so sharp polished knife).

The fact of the matter is that the fulfillment of our desires, desires, aspirations is not the way to reveal our true nature. But in order to come to such a conclusion, a person first needs to realize a dozen of his primary desires (desires, dreams, etc.), especially in our age of anti-authoritarianism. When we don’t trust anyone or anything, but we are so greedy for everything brilliant.

Several ways to be truly realized

But before. All of the following: snatched from different sources that may contradict each other.

To know the right path, you may first need to go the wrong way.

How to be real?

1. Choose a big (higher) goal

Higher ones can be both very mercantile and "spiritual". For example: “I want me and my family to be the richest people”, or “Become the wisest”. The concept is higher, conditional, what is higher for one is conceited for others. But not the point.

You just need to choose any goal that is pleasant for you, so that it is very difficult, for life. And strives for it.

But how, then, is my true potential realized? Quite simply: in order to achieve something worthwhile, you will have to put in a lot of work on self-improvement. In which everything is manifested, both positive and weak sides.

Achieving the goal is this: 1. Overcoming obstacles (including overcoming one's weaknesses of the personality). 2. The use of certain efforts (part of these forces are your positive qualities, talents, etc., which in turn helps them develop even more).

2. Choose an ideological direction

Everything is the same as above. The whole mechanism of self-realization is the same, but instead of a goal - a direction. This is following a certain idea, ideology, something that is difficult to feel, touch with your hands, put in your pocket.

For example. Become a communist so that everyone becomes equal. (Sounds stupid now, but once upon a time people died for this idea worse than Christian martyrs). Or democracy around the world. (I wonder why this idea doesn't seem silly? Or does it? US foreign policy immediately comes to mind.)

Or. The ultimate development of one's abilities or talents. Surely you have such a talent. It is impossible to be perfect, but to achieve the maximum ...

3. Become an adherent of a certain “school of life”

Man is stupid, stupid and weak. Therefore, it is very difficult for him to understand what he is, who he is and why he is. It’s like trying to explain to a child why he can do something, but this is “low” ... He still won’t understand until he grows up. And in order for him to grow up, he needs both physical food and “correct” education.

So it is with adepts (followers) - they need an eye and an eye until they themselves realize that this is the very thing for them - “true potential”.

In this case, you are required to choose a religion for yourself (a certain “spiritual school” that “Knows ...”), or let the religion choose you. It contains both the "truth" and the paths to it.

4. Experience life the hard way

All of the above rests on the fact that a person is reasonable and knows that he is such. But animals don’t build temples for themselves, don’t visit websites, and live quite normally. Can a man play with his brains?

Maybe life already contains all the answers? In this case, live as you live, the answers will appear themselves. And your task is not to look for an extra burden in the form of mental constructions (think less on general questions for which there are no answers.)

There is an interesting oriental remark: "The unfortunate seek the gods and worship them, but the gods themselves watch the happy and help them in everything."

Hmm, after reading all of the above: at least in many cases, in order to be realized, you first need to decide on a choice ...

Self-realization in life: how to find yourself?

Psychologists say that self-realization is a person's desire to fully reveal their potential, opportunities, and as a result, a feeling of happiness from what you are doing.

But how to find yourself and fulfill yourself in life? You must come to the answer to this question yourself. And the women's site "Beautiful and Successful" will help you with this.

Self-realization and family

Of course, the family is very important for a woman. And there are women who realize themselves at home. They like to raise children, cook dinners, and they consider career and other ambitions unimportant. For them, in the first place is the husband's delight from a delicious dinner, these are the successes of the children, they strive to surround their family with care and find themselves in this. Family is the meaning of their life.

However, there are women who regularly perform their maternal duties while on maternity leave, but they are gnawed by the thought that time is running out, and they have not yet done something important in their lives. On the one hand, I want to have several children, on the other hand, I want to realize myself in life. After all, one day the children will grow up and leave home, and what will be left for them? Still cooking dinner and watching TV shows?

Therefore, it is important to focus on unlocking your own potential in addition to series and cooking dinners. With the birth of a child, life does not end - it just becomes a little different. After all, a child does not interfere with visiting, self-educating, getting carried away with a new hobby. You can keep active!

First you realized yourself in the profession, then in motherhood. Now you have time to think about what is important to you? Who do you want to be? What would you really like to do? Now that the children have been born, you can do what you like: get a second education and a new specialty, and then change jobs.

How to find yourself if you are already successful

We usually focus on two or three goals: career, earnings, family. But the achievement of these goals does not affect our full potential. We understand this when the basic needs are satisfied: there is money, a loved one, stability and a roof over our heads. And this is where the search for something important in life begins. Our possibilities dormant inside begin to persistently look for a way out.

And if these internal possibilities are not revealed, the potential is not revealed, we feel dissatisfaction with life. As if something is missing, something is missing. This dissatisfaction can confuse you, especially if you have already achieved success in some field. It would seem that the goal has been achieved, live and rejoice, but something is eating from the inside, and from the outside it looks like a whim.

Therefore, do not take risks by concentrating on one goal. This will prevent you from exploring your desires and unlocking your own potential. And over the years, unfortunately, the ability to hear yourself and follow your desires becomes dull. This is facilitated by stress, hard working days, monotonous pastime. In general, in the daily hustle and bustle, hands do not reach themselves.

Plus, we live according to certain stereotypes: we need to finish school, a prestigious university, get a good job, have a baby and live to retire.

By the way, the thought of retirement is a little sobering and makes you think. Imagine that you are already 70-80 years old, and the sunset of your life is approaching. How do you imagine your life? Are you satisfied with her? If not, then think about self-realization in life now. A few exercises will help you with this.

Exercises that make you think about self-realization in life

1. Write down 10 things you enjoy doing. If you weren't limited by anything, what would you do? Now, out of these 10, cross out one that, in your opinion, is not the most important. There are 9 desired activities left. Now cross off one more and so on down the list.

Of course, this won't be easy. But in this way you will come to the most important desire, the embodiment of which will fill your life with meaning and help you find yourself. Plan the rest of the pleasant things in your weekly schedule. Thus, all your strength and thoughts will go not only to work, but also to personal hobbies.

2. Think about what money is? What effect do they have on people? How much money do you need to be happy? What do you do when you feel like you don't have enough money? If you were rich, what would be the first thing you would do with your money? By answering these questions, you will understand that money is not an end, but a means. By themselves, they have no value. Therefore, you need to strive not for money, but for something more specific.

3. Imagine that you are given the opportunity to live five lives. What would you do in each of them? What would you do? What result would you get and what experience did you gain? Parents and teachers convince us from childhood that the choice of a profession is one for life, and that we need to look for a stable job. Now do you understand how much this installation impoverishes life?

4. Make a list of your goals for the next 5 years. Now imagine that in 2 years you will be gone. What will you do with the rest of the time? If the two plans are significantly different, then what you are doing now and your goals do not match your desires. And whose life are you living then?

The above exercises will not make you a self-actualized person, because this process goes on almost all your life. But they will make you think and perhaps push you to action.

More information

Instruction

You can fulfill yourself at work. This is the easiest and most obvious way to express yourself. In order for you to be able to fully show your own abilities and talents, the profession you have chosen must meet your desires and skills. Unfortunately, finding such a dream job is not at all easy. After all, sometimes the individual himself does not realize which sphere of activity is closer to him. Various tests for professional orientation and contacting an employment agency will help to decide on this issue.

Find a job you love and strive to constantly develop as a professional. Learn a related profession. Expand the scope of your work responsibilities or upgrade your category. If you are really interested in what you do, you will be passionate about your work and will find the opportunity to attend various professional exhibitions, conferences, seminars and trainings.

If you cannot fulfill yourself as an employee, try starting your own business. Think about what you want to do. Remember that a businessman must have good organizational skills and have at least some idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe business that he is going to open. You can get the necessary information on the Internet or in specialized literature.

Make a clear business plan and think through every little thing to make your business burn out. Be prepared to invest a lot of time and effort into your own business, especially at the initial stage. But such work will be a joy to you if you see in your business not only an opportunity to earn money, but also a way to self-realize your talents. To see how your undertaking grows, to develop it, to reap the fruits of your activity is a great pleasure for a businessman.

Not only work can give you the opportunity to fulfill yourself. You can also express yourself through hobbies. Find a hobby that really brings you pleasure. This can be, for example, collecting, caring for houseplants, creativity, scientific activities or learning foreign languages. The main thing is that you feel that your internal resources are involved in the process of doing what you love, and get joy from it.

Another way to realize yourself is to become a parent. This is especially true for women. Some of the fair sex find their calling in their own children. They educate them, take care of the health, well-being and development of babies and find simple maternal happiness in these matters.

You can find a way to express yourself at home. Improve the space in your apartment, find new interior solutions. Believe me, taking care of home comfort can bring pleasure not only to its end result, but also to the process itself. You can also find the joy of self-expression in cooking. Cook new dishes, fantasize, improve old recipes, gather your family and friends for gourmet dinners.

Sports activities are also a great opportunity for self-realization. Improve your own body, make it healthier, stronger, more resilient, more beautiful. Choose the sport that brings you maximum pleasure and plunge into the world of new sensations.