Every day we hear “How are you?”, “How are you?” and “What are you doing?” several times. These questions are most often asked out of politeness or to keep the conversation going.

We say something in response, not thinking about the meaning of what was said. In fact, there is a really correct answer to all these questions, which depends on the real situation and on the interlocutor. Consider a variety of options for answering the question "How are you?"

Standard responses

When all is well

• "I'm fine, and you?". By doing this, you give the opportunity to the interlocutor to tell about yourself.
• "Fine!". Charge the interlocutor with a good mood, tactfully making it clear that you do not intend to listen to the negative.
• "Normal" A neutral, non-committal response.

When everything is bad

Here the answer depends on how ready you are to share information about your personal (work) affairs with the interlocutor, and whether he will be interested in listening to your spiritual outpourings.

• "Not really" Hints at the next question - "What's wrong?"
• "Not important…." Further details follow.
• "Bad, but I don't want to talk about it." Next, the interlocutor is waiting for you to ask, “What news do you have?”.

Subtleties of etiquette

It is not customary to give answers that may be misunderstood or poorly interpreted by the rules of etiquette. A person asks this question out of politeness, and does not expect a long story about your problems at all.

If guided by etiquette, the most optimal answer would be “Wonderful” or “Normal”.

You can only practice wit when communicating with people you know well, otherwise your sense of humor may be misinterpreted.

The answer to the most popular question is dictated primarily by those who ask it. When communicating with peers, caustic, sometimes vulgar phrases such as “I haven’t given birth yet”, “the case with the prosecutor”, will be unacceptable to the older generation, bosses, parents. In these cases, the answer should be short and concise.

Parents- a separate issue. These are the only people who are genuinely interested in what you do. Therefore, the answer must be specific and exhaustive to the smallest detail. Do not forget to ask about the health of mom or dad in response.

Boss. Your personal affairs are of absolutely no interest to him. By asking the question "How are you?" he means work. Therefore, as a response, he expects a detailed report on recent achievements. In exceptional cases (for example, a corporate event), you can limit yourself to the banal “Good”, be sure to add “Thank you”. It's enough.

How to answer the question "How are you?"

witty

Joking and funny answers are most appropriate on the Internet (SMS) - correspondence and when communicating with young people. Friends will always find something to talk about, so here you can give yourself free rein.

• While alive and rejoice therefore.
• Now I'll tell you, you'll start to envy, I'd better keep silent.
• Like in a horror movie - the farther, the more breathtaking.
• On the letter X (do not think it's good).
• I am getting crazy.

At work

The main thing here is subordination and corporate ethics. The answer should be short, without irony and sarcasm.

• Fine, but how are you (what news).
• Everything is old.
• Thank you, OK.

On the personal front

Not everyone is interested in knowing all the details of the interlocutor's personal life. And if you are not going to dedicate someone to all the details, then such options are suitable here.

• Thanks, nothing new.
• Everything is fine.
• How about you (you)?
• Not complaining.

Rough

Rude statements are used in cases where the very question “how are you” comes from the lips of an unpleasant person. This is a kind of protective reflex that works in those moments when you want to protect yourself from annoying communication.

• Back off
• Go to hell
• None of your business

To a stranger

This question is the most popular for the first acquaintance - in correspondence or a chance meeting. The answer should make it clear to the stranger whether you intend to continue the conversation or not.

To continue dating, you can answer something like this:

• Everything is great, as usual.
• Thanks, great.
• Just like others.

To shine with wit in this case is inappropriate. Answers like “Like on Mars - there is no life”, “Things are going, but past”, “It could be worse” should be saved for a more suitable occasion.

If it is not your intention to continue communication, then it is better to immediately, in a polite way, make it clear.

The best answers in this situation would be:

• I am married (boyfriend).
• I am married (to a girl).
• None of your business (rude, but it works).
• You won't be interested.
• You recognized.

How to respond nicely to a question

"What's up?"

• Life is like a striped zebra.
• Today is better than yesterday.
• Great, and I wish you the same.
• Best of all, but no one is jealous.
• You're doing great, looking forward to the next question.
• As you asked, it got better (a bit rough).
• It depends on what you compare it to.
• It hits with a fountain, but everything is on the head.

"What are you doing?"

• Improving (or degrading), come on together.
• I surf the Internet and chat.
• I like to listen to others.
• Guess! You have the opportunity to ask leading questions.
• I ignore.
• I'm trying to cross you off my contact list.
• Meditate (live, breathe, etc.)
• I fly on a hang glider (parachute, airship).
• I read the report (pass the exam, test).
• Sorry, I'm underwater, I can't speak.

In correspondence, after the question “How are you?” most often follows the no less banal “What are you doing?” Here you can finally show your imagination. The person who asked this question usually waits for the answer “I work”, to which he will ask the counter question “Where and by whom?”.

You can turn the conversation in a different direction with a cool and extraordinary answer, depending on whether you want to “send” the interlocutor in an original way, or are set up for a friendly conversation in a positive way.

Video: What to say in response

Each of us from time to time hears uncomfortable questions that upset, anger and even force. You stoically endure them, trying not to respond with outright rudeness. But, unable to stand it and breaking loose, you get valuable comments like “you need to drink sedatives” or “this is what feminism leads to.” Why do people even ask them? After all, it is often clear that they do not even expect an answer from you. And what is the right way to respond to tactlessness?

Tactless questions can be divided into groups:

• about personal life: When will you finally get married? Why is it still alone?
• about kids: When will you have a baby? And when will you give birth to the second?
• about money and work: How much money do you make? So what are you getting paid for? When will you find a proper job?
• about appearance: Why don't you paint? Why are you dressing like that? When are you going to get your haircut? Are you on a diet again?
• on private topics: How old are you? Why did you come to the doctor?

Familiar? It seems that it is impossible to fight such curiosity. There is no need to enter into a confrontation: it is better to act more subtle - to take the interlocutor by surprise, to puzzle him.

Let's see what happens when you are asked a tactless question. Your interlocutor acts on the principle of an energy vampire: asking something too personal, he usually immediately makes you feel guilty and inferior. You, of course, begin to either make excuses, or be rude and annoyed in response. In both cases, you throw out a huge amount of your own energy, which your curious acquaintance “feeds off”. And this situation repeats itself again and again - every time a person wants to "recharge" from you. For him, this is not a big deal: you yourself showed him all your pain points when you reacted too emotionally to questions.

To break this vicious circle it is necessary to resort to a method that in psychology is called pattern breaking. What is its essence? In response to annoying questions, outright rudeness or unconstructive criticism, you give out a completely non-standard reaction - one that the interlocutor does not expect from you. You take him by surprise - and now he has to spend his own energy to save face. In other words, with the help of an unexpected maneuver, you take the situation and set the conversation in the direction that you see fit.

9 possible answers

1 Change of topic. You leave the question unattended and divert the conversation to the side. “What are we all about me, tell us better about your successes ...”, “Yes, life is a complicated and ambiguous thing, but the weather today turned out to be beautiful, right? I think it’s already possible on the weekend.”

2 Counterquestion. Instead of an answer, you ask your own question, which confuses the interlocutor. “Can I ask, what is the reason for your interest?”, “The answer to your question will radically change something in your life?”, “What do you think?”.

3 Gratitude. You sincerely thank the interlocutor for his interest in your life: “Thank you for being so worried about me, I myself am in shock from my life (I worry all the time)”, “I didn’t expect such cordiality and interest in me from you”, “I then they said that you are callous and soulless, but you, it turns out, are completely different.

4 Exclusion of the interlocutor from the circle of influence. If the topic does not affect him personally, then you are not obliged to discuss anything. Decisively cut off the conversation: “I will talk about this only with those whom it concerns personally, but not with you.” And period, do not join the discussion. The method can be used with close people, but do it softer and more delicately. For example, to the question "When will you give birth to a baby" you can answer: "Perhaps today I will discuss this topic with my husband."

5 Philosophizing. You begin to think about the significance of the topic. “You asked an excellent question, the answer to which can be found many years later”, “Oh, no one knows.”

6 Joking. Give a joking answer, starting with "This is classified information", "Yes, you are a scary person!" to “Don’t piss me off, I actually have a black belt in karate.” Just remember that such techniques work better in a friendly company, among like-minded people.

7 Misunderstanding. You pretend that you didn’t understand, didn’t hear the interlocutor, forcing him to repeat or reformulate the question: “Sorry, I didn’t hear, my ears are blocked today.” Very often a person has the courage to ask something personal only once. You can ask a clarifying question - this technique is good to use when a lot of people are participating in a conversation. “Did I hear correctly that the most exciting question for you is my time?” A person does not want to be a laughing stock and will change the subject himself.

9 Contact break. You just close the topic with a request not to waste the interlocutor's precious time on it. “Thank you for your attention, you don’t have to worry about it”, “Please don’t bother yourself…”. It is convenient to use with unfamiliar people (for example, in line with a doctor) or with some curious colleagues.

little trick

If you have acting skills, try sneezing loudly or slowly yawning instead of answering. This will help to knock the interlocutor out of his thoughts.

Let's try in practice

Decided to try the suggested techniques in practice? For them to work well, proceed with caution, observing certain principles:

✓ Choose the methods that are right for you. After all, all people are different: someone knows how to joke well, and someone is better at portraying cold politeness.

✓ Combine techniques more often. Yes, in conversations with strangers, you can use any one answer option. But if there is a fan of asking awkward questions in your inner circle, it is better to change tactics from time to time. Because a curious acquaintance will quickly remember your favorite trick and find a way to neutralize it.

✓ Try to answer sincerely, with a smile, but without mockery. However, if you want to get rid of a person for a long time, you can add sarcasm. So, to the question "Are you kidding me?" you can answer: “Well, what are you! Where can I go to you.

If an uncomfortable question is regularly repeated by one of the closest people, take the time and frankly discuss with him the reasons for this interest. Chances are its really in your life. for example, your mother is worried that she does not have grandchildren. Let her talk and explain how you feel when you hear questions.

Any person has encountered manifestations of rudeness and rudeness of other people at least once in his life. Cursing can really ruin your mood. It is important to remember that any such situation with rudeness can be beaten in such a way as to stay in the black: you should learn how to be rude correctly. There are certain tips and techniques, united under the general slogan "learning to be rude beautifully."

People who are rude to another person have low self-esteem and an unstable psychological state that causes a decrease in the right energy. Communication helps to fill its level, and the conversation should be emotional, “accusatory”.

Many notice that rude people are able to be rude to certain people. For a rude person, it is important that the victim cannot fight back. Usually rudeness is addressed to those people who:

• non-conflict character;
• heightened sense of guilt;
• lack of confidence in the forces;
• psychological pliability, weakness.

Aggressive people feel these qualities subconsciously, so they choose the addressee of insults from this category. Non-conflicting people need to understand how to learn to be rude in order to protect themselves from unjustified rudeness.

The answer to rudeness should be beautiful so that the offender could not come up with an answer to it instantly. This makes him feel stupid and stop attacking, and the defending person does not sink to rudeness, which automatically puts him on a moral level one step higher.

He will show himself witty, erudite, cultured, self-confident - this is the basis of how beautifully rude and emerge victorious from any verbal skirmish.

How to respond to rudeness

There are several ways to communicate with rude people to be rude beautifully. These ways can silence the boor, feeling the failure of his judgments:

• Politeness - you need to calmly communicate with the swearing, showing maximum courtesy and loyalty - offenders do not expect patience in response to a cry, which knocks them out of the initial channel.
• Boredom works when communicating online, where rudeness constantly happens. This is how the administration works - the moderators calmly describe each of the participant’s violations, and do not argue (“you have five grammatical errors in this message and three punctuation errors in the previous one - before you write, learn to write correctly”).
• The shock can permanently unsettle the offender. Sharp phrases are used that are not directly related to the topic of the dialogue, but cause the desired reaction. It is better to prepare a few sharp universal remarks in advance. Similar phrases are well suited (these examples of rudeness are common in the methods of “learning to be rude beautifully”):

"What do you think of humanity as a member of another species?";

“Probably the only positive thing about you is the Rh factor”;

“Speak, speak. I always yawn when I'm interested."

• An agreement with a boor helps to quickly end the conflict. Ham expects a quarrel and a skirmish after the curse he has expressed, and if a person agrees with the statement, does not continue the conversation, the offender will get confused and stop the attacks. In such cases, in order to be rude beautifully, they say: “Yes, yes, I completely agree with you. Yes, I have terrible style!”.
• Decreasing the importance of the event almost always helps. It is important not to consider the offender as sharp and evil, exceeding his real qualities and putting him above himself. It is better to present his rudeness as something harmless and small, which should be treated condescendingly: "do not be upset - many do not shine with talents."
• Ignoring is a universal way of responding to rudeness. It is worth keeping silent if the boor poses a real danger to health. Silence can be beautiful if the boorish attitude is marked by obvious inconsistency and stupidity. There are subtleties here - the defender should not then look angrily at the offender: this creates the appearance that rudeness hurt.

How best to respond to rudeness

There is a significant difference between the rudeness of well-known people and random strangers - the answers must be adequate. General recommendations for the responding person:

1. maintain complete calm and friendliness;
2. be indulgent and gentle;
3. respond with a sense of humor, but without anger.

How to respond to the rudeness of strangers and distant people

When communicating with strangers, it is important to remain polite, as it is sometimes inappropriate to be rude to them, but of course everything depends on the circumstances.

If rudeness manifested itself in communication with employees of state, medical and social departments, it is better not to let go of sharp remarks and ironic phrases. This can have consequences for the person to whom the rudeness was expressed. It is better to write a paper with a complaint addressed to a higher person, organization, or simply threaten a boor: “If you don’t stop insulting me, I will write a complaint about your work.”

You should not explicitly insult employers or people on whom anything significant for a humiliated person may depend. In these cases, you need to keep your own opinion, gently but convincingly proving it with weighty arguments. Rudeness is inappropriate here: calmness and confidence in one’s opinion will look much more beautiful.

If rudeness is allowed by people working in the service sector, you can make an ironic remark to them, indicating in response that they behave incorrectly. It is important here not to succumb to provocation. Good phrases:

• “You talk, you talk. Maybe you’ll finally say something smart! ”;
• “But the zoo wasn’t closed for the night?”;
• “You are trying to compensate for the lack of intelligence with noise, aren’t you?”;
• “Alas, I don’t have time to amuse your complexes.”

How to respond to the rudeness of friends and relatives

When arguing with relatives and friends, it is best to try to calmly talk and resolve the conflict without irony or mutual accusation.

Rudeness addressed to close people sounds ugly. But his statement is sometimes impossible to avoid: some people may uncontrollably try to humiliate a loved one by showing superiority, or say rude things out of a sense of envy.

The best defense is an attack. It is necessary, without anger, but with humor, to respond to the rudeness of a loved one - "definitely, your intellect can outshine the light of a lamp."

With friends, it is acceptable to use more sarcastic and humorous phrases. They will help to reflect the causticity of the boor and at the same time arouse recognition and respect from those who heard the conversation. Do not pretend that any phrase of your opponent touched you, do not react too emotionally. Speak as if in jest, but at the same time make it clear to the person that you are not going to tolerate conversations in such a tone. Well suited examples are “teeth are not hair, they will not grow back”, “my sun! Remember once and before sclerosis!

This is the peculiarity of how to learn how to beautifully be rude to close friends, but at the same time not quarrel with them for the rest of your life.

In quarrels involving representatives of the opposite sex, it is always difficult to respond to rudeness, since there is a belief that young men should not be rude to women, and girls should not respond to male rudeness. The need for a sharp response from a girl may arise when a young man offers his company too aggressively or is openly rude. Hamim is beautiful to guys:

• “It wasn’t you who starred in the movie“ Clowns ”?”;
• “Darling, you are right - I didn’t have anyone like you, I don’t have any more and I don’t need it”;
• Why do you think I want to make an idiot out of you? It's not needed. Everything has already been done!”

But it is important to understand that if you have an inadequate person who poses a threat in front of you, then it is better to remain silent and pass by. You also need to be able to distinguish, a simple attempt to get acquainted, from rudeness, otherwise you will already look rude.

The ability to be rude beautifully is the art of owning a word, combined with a sense of humor and tact. In order to emerge victorious from a situation where the offender is rude, you need to feel what is appropriate to say and what is not. Rudeness is both an attempt to offend another person, and a powerful weapon, with skillful use, helping to defend against unreasonable attacks from other people.

Helpful Hints

No one wants to just put up with the rudeness and rudeness that you can hear in public transport, at work, online, and just on the street.

No need to play the role of a victim, but learn to respond correctly to aggression towards you.

Obviously, for most people, rudeness towards them can negatively affect well-being, self-esteem and performance.

How to respond to rudeness

To be able to respond to rudeness, you first need to work on increasing self-esteem.

It is worth noting that it is not easy to be rude to a person with a strong spirit.

And yet, if you urgently need to learn how to communicate with a boor, you can use one or more methods of struggle.

responses to rudeness

calmness

When talking with such people, you should never show them that you are confused. Try to express your point of view frankly, firmly and openly.

Try not to get defensive and speak calmly and relaxed.

Most often, rude people are weak, envious people who find it difficult to get used to honesty and calmness, and sometimes they don’t know these words at all. They take energy for their negativity precisely from those people who succumb to rudeness and begin to get nervous. Don't let them feed on your nervousness.

sneezing

This method is more suitable as a reaction to prolonged rudeness.

If the person who is rude to you cannot stop, you may well help him to do this.

To begin with, try to listen to him calmly, until he himself is convinced that he is right. After that, sneeze loudly and defiantly - there will be a short pause in which you calmly say the phrase: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit" and politely add: "So where did you end up?"

Aikido

Simply put: you to me, I to you. This method transfers the negativity of your interlocutor to him. You just need to agree with his attacks on you, thank you for the time and effort spent to emphasize your shortcomings.

You can even praise the interlocutor for attentiveness and those "advice" that you heard. Do it calmly and try not to show the causticity of your phrases.

It is worth noting that the more witnesses to the conflict will be, the better for you, because. a rude person is unlikely to receive the necessary approval from the outside, and most likely will cause laughter and jokes in his address.

boredom

A similar method can be used by administrators of forums, sites, blogs and groups in social networks. networks.

Despite the fact that most community members are familiar with the general rules, some still deliberately violate them, after which they express dissatisfaction in the administrators' personal messages due to the fact that they were denied access.

After all the arguments are over, these characters move on to outright rudeness and rudeness.

It's easiest to just ban, but if you want to prove you're right, try not to be emotional, describe in detail all the errors of the offender. At first, the interlocutor will resist and continue to "have fun" with rudeness, but when he realizes that they are communicating with him dryly, without emotions, he will simply fall behind.

Ignoring

Perhaps the most famous and simplest method of dealing with rudeness. Sometimes silence is not only effective and safe, but also beautiful.

If you don’t need anything from a rude person, or you are simply not psychologically ready to enter into a debate with him, or if the “interlocutor” is simply out of his mind and can harm your health, just ignore him. Rude people want to win your attention, do not give them this joy.

It is worth noting that it is also necessary to ignore correctly. No need to include an offensive look and sighs- These are signals that you paid attention to him. Do not show any emotions, a boor is an empty place for you.

How beautiful to respond to rudeness

There are several phrases that can be used when "skirmish" with a rude:

"Excuse me, is that all?"

"I had a better opinion of you"

"Rudeness doesn't suit you"

"Do you want a polite answer or the truth?"

"Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?"

"Like everyone else, I also have bad days. Don't be upset, you will succeed"

"Yes, of course, come in. May luck be on your side" (in case someone climbs out of line)

"It doesn't sound like the role is right for you. What do you really want?"

"Thank you for showing interest in my person"

"You want to hurt me? For what?"

How to respond to an insult

If you are accidentally or intentionally scolded, you should not take these words literally and take everything personally.

Understand that if the person who insulted you is in a bad mood or just not well educated, this does not mean that you are to blame.

In order to be able to respond correctly to insults, you must first of all know that the person who offends you in all possible ways is himself a victim, namely the victim of the obstinacy of his character.

Most often, those who "attack" and try to humiliate others are weak personalities who are simply not able to cope with negative emotions, which makes them splash out on others.

What to do in response to an insult

If insulted by a stranger

The best option is to ignore it. Just try not to notice the one who is trying to offend you. Of course, there are times when you need to act differently, but most often you need to act as if the stranger is not there, and his words are empty words.

If offended by a loved one

From the very beginning, try to dot the "I". You should calmly and directly tell him that the words spoken hurt you. The right step would be to discuss the situation.

If offended by a work colleague/boss

Under this set of circumstances, try to carefully avoid the conflict. If a colleague relentlessly insults and silence you does not help, try to answer with a neutral barb.

In the case of the boss, conflicts are not needed, which means that you do not respond to insults. Instead, imagine your manager as a naughty and pugnacious little child.

In your head, pat him on the head, feed him porridge and help him sit on the potty. This is the way psychologists recommend. You will not only endure insults, but also get a good mood, or at least it will cause a smile on your part and increase your efficiency. In addition, the boss may also pay attention to your stamina.

How to respond to an insult

The person who is trying to insult you wants to assert himself, stand out, which means you need to give him a cold answer, "Well, did you assert yourself at my expense?".

Listening to such a person, try to understand what the goal is, why they want to offend you.

* If you do not know how to respond to an insult, then you need to know one important thing - not wellit is necessary to reach mutual insults and rash reactions.

In addition to looking silly, you are also susceptible to manipulation, which can end up being a trap for you. You don't have to play by the rules that are imposed on you.

*Another main rule - respond to rudeness calmly without losing self-respect. But, it is worth noting that the cultural response to the "attack" of the boor most often does not produce any effect, because. The game takes place on someone else's territory and not by your rules.

* When it comes to trolling, or other similar situations, it is best to ignore the offender.

* It happens that you need to answer, but you obviously know that all your arguments simply will not work against a stubborn rude. In this case, the best option would be turn around and leave.

* The person who insulted you or is trying to do so may just have a bad day. Therefore, with you enough to ask: "Bad day?" . If a person is adequate, he will agree and may even ask for forgiveness.

But, when it comes to a troll, then such a question is not only inappropriate, but can also lead to additional insults against you.

* More often than not, responding to an insult is not a good strategy, and you can get away with it by simply asking the person in a neutral way about what they just said to you. Try to pretend that you did not hear his words or did not pay attention to them. In this case, only a frank boor will continue his "attacks".

* If you find yourself in a situation where it is simply necessary to answer the offender, or you are strangled by the desire to do so, do not rush at him. The main thing is to be calm, cold in words and expressions. It is desirable to suppress insults with witty remarks and only after the interlocutor has finished his monologue.

* Sometimes an insult is more like a mockery. In this case, perhaps the best option would be to answer in the form of a joke, which not only does not offend the person, but also maintains a normal relationship.

One of the common mistakes that people make is trying to justify themselves, they say, "no, you're wrong, it's not my fault". Firstly, such a strategy can make you humiliated, and secondly, trying to justify yourself is simply pointless, because. an excuse, as a rule, no one listens.

uncomfortable questions

"How much?", "When will you get married?", "What is your salary?"- these questions are annoying, and despite the fact that asking them is a bad form, some still cannot restrain themselves.

Several situations can be considered, but first we note a few universal answers.

How to original answer

- "I'm amazed at your ability to ask questions that can lead to a dead end!"

- "You are an amazing woman (man). I was always amazed by your ability to ask uncomfortable (correct, difficult, rhetorical) questions!"

- "I'll be happy to try to answer your question, just answer you first, why are you so interested in this?"

- "And for what purpose are you interested in this?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?" If the answer is yes, then simply answer: "And I'm not very" - and end the dialogue with a smile.

If a person is not very pleasant to you, and you have no desire to communicate with him, especially after an incorrect question, you can coldly answer: "That's my fucking business."

- Ask again: "I understand correctly that ..."

Questions about money

When you are faced with an unpleasant question, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific answer. For example, to the question "How much do you earn?" you can evade the answer "Like most, the average salary in the industry is (significantly less than Abramovich)."

You can also answer this question with a counter question. For example, to the question "How much is the jacket?" you can ask the interlocutor how much his jacket costs. Another way to answer this question is significantly overestimate or underestimate the figure and then turn the conversation into a joke.

Questions about work

"What do you do?", "What do you do at work?".

When answering questions like this, psychologists advise you to name the profession that can give you more confidence in what you are doing. If your work is different, you are doing a lot of different things, you can sort out all the work for the month on the shelves. This way you will know what takes the most time.

Questions about personal life

"Why is there no girl (boyfriend)?", "When is the wedding?", "Why haven't you got married yet?".

Do not take such matters seriously. In response, you can ask the interlocutor why such an unusual question came to his mind. In this case, the interlocutor will be in an awkward situation.

There is another option - just answer directly as it is. For example, to the question "Why one more (one)?" proudly admit that you are patiently looking for your soul mate, who would not leave you in difficult times.

The third option would be "mirroring". For example, "Do I understand correctly that you don't mind holding a candle over my bed?" , or "... that, today, your main task is to discuss my personal life?" , or "... that interest in other people's troubles is in the order of things for you?"

How to respond to rudeness

Hams can be found everywhere. These are people who often experience pressure on themselves, which leads to rudeness as a defense weapon.

Why are they rude

Reason 1: Despair

A person has a bad day - so he is rude. For example, a saleswoman who is tired for the whole working day, a client, a colleague, brought to stress.

Most often, such people, after throwing out all the anger on someone, feel guilty about themselves and may even apologize.

If you decide in such a situation to respond with the same weapon, then the feeling of guilt will go away and the person will think that being rude is normal.

Reason 2: Self-affirmation

When a boor humiliates another person, he feels superior to him, especially if this person, for one reason or another, cannot fight back the offender.

Usually such boors have, albeit not great, but still power. They believe that they can just take out their anger on those who depend on them and get away with it with impunity.

Reason 3: Wanting to be seen

If rudeness is an integral part of a person, then its roots can be hidden in childhood.

A child always wants attention and love from his parents. If he does not receive this, then he begins to be rude, so that at least somehow they pay attention to him. With age, a person uses the same strategy.

Responses to rudeness

Method 1: You don't have to take everything you say personally.

Often a person who is rude does not do it specifically to you - rather, it is anger at the world in general: ill-mannered youth, men are goats, etc. and only the rude man himself is white and fluffy.

One can only sympathize with such a boor, because. the world he lives in is not easy to live in. Remember, each person sees the world differently. If a boor says that you are an uneducated person, you can try to refute his statement with your knowledge, but this is unlikely to succeed.

Method 2: Ham should not become the master of the situation

Try not to give the boor power over the situation so that they do not feel stronger.

If your boss is rude to you, and it is impossible to get away from this, think about the fact that you are not chained to him for life. You are not a slave, you are only doing your job professionally, i.e. you help him to carry out the work, which means that you can call yourself a partner in a certain business. You can demand more respect for yourself, because. you have every right to do so.

Method 3: Remember your rights

When you are rude in a public place, then you need to fight not with the offenders, but with their superiors.

Find out the name, surname, position and contacts. You can ask for a book of complaints, if there is one. If this does not help, try contacting a consumer protection society or a lawyer.

Use your weapons - human rights and leverage. This method is suitable if the boor is an official, manager, waiter, security guard and other representatives of large organizations

Method 4: turn on your imagination

Try to imagine an offender behind a glass wall: you see him, you notice that he is saying something, but you simply do not hear.

You can also imagine a boor in the form of a big fish in an aquarium: it seems that he moves his lips, moves his fins, but it is not clear why all this is.

If you watched the movie "The Matrix", then remember the moment when Neo stopped the bullets fired at him. Imagine that the rudeness thrown at you is bullets, and you are invulnerable, and all the rudeness does not reach you, falling with a ringing on the floor.

Method 5: Try to contact the boor

Try to find out the reason for the aggression. For example, you can say: "Now you are rude to me, why do you need this?" or "You have a smile on your face and you say mean things, so I haven't figured out how to respond to your words yet."

Perhaps the person who heard you will consider his actions, look at himself from the outside and rethink his behavior. You can use this method when communicating with people with whom you will have to meet and talk more than once - work colleagues, acquaintances, relatives.

There is a chance that a person will look at himself from the outside and rethink something in his behavior.

How beautiful to respond to rudeness

Rudeness can be well treated with politeness, which scares boors, forcing them to be careful when communicating:

- "You see, dear, I do not intend (a) to communicate with you in such a tone"

- "Dear, you may have confused me with someone"

If the boor cannot stop in any way, after all your attempts, then save your nerves, wish him all the best and leave the place of conversation.

Sometimes a boor needs to be put in place, otherwise you will make them stronger with your silence. A good answer can close the mouth of a boor. But remember, to be rude to rudeness does not put you higher.

Try to use humor. If you are being rude, smile and say "Well, you and blockhead (fool, idiot)!" Such an act can anger the boor even more, whose reaction will make you laugh.

Smiling back often irritates a boor, so smile sincerely.

- "You deign to be rude to me ... Why? Is your goal to offend me? Why?"

Answer so that your word is the last and then the rudeness will stop.

Pay no attention to the boor. Imagine a scenario in your head: "You are a leaf by the road ... Everything passes by and nothing hurts you" .

Instruction

There is a breed of men called "ladies' men". They love to compliment and please not only the lady of their heart, but also strangers. Therefore, they very often cannot refuse too persistent seductresses. And, unfortunately, there are not enough of them.

Think about how you see your future relationship. If you do not want to communicate with this person anymore, then you need to leave and try to forget the traitor. When attachment is strong, it can be very difficult to do so. First you need to recognize the problem and live in the future. No need to remember all the good things that happened between you. At least until the attachment is cured.

Feelings suddenly surging try to express in stormy emotions. I want to cry - cry, scream - scream, splash out your anger by tearing his forgotten shirt or breaking the dishes. Find a good listener and tell your story. This can be done several times with different people, even strangers. The main thing is that they listen. Over time, bitter disappointment will be replaced by quiet sadness. It will be followed by hope for a new relationship.

A completely different behavior follows if you intend to continue the relationship. Changed once may not do it again. The circumstances are different, as are the reasons that prompted the guy to cheat. If you decide to forgive the cheater, first be a little apart. This time is necessary for calming down and thinking about what happened. But don't get too hung up on the negative. It is better to try to distract yourself by doing accumulated business or something interesting.

Start improving your appearance. Switch your attention. Calm down and analyze the situation. Sometimes guys "go left" when something is missing. Think about how you can improve your relationship. The main thing is that you be sure that your chosen one repents and also does not want to leave. Even better if he sincerely asks for forgiveness.

note

They don't call us the opposite sex for nothing. We are so different that it is difficult for us to understand each other's behavior. Women know that men are polygamous, but everyone wants to believe that her beloved is not like that. And in the meantime, they secretly look at your girlfriends or unfamiliar beauties. They have erotic dreams where famous actresses act as partners.

Helpful advice

For those who cheat a second time and receive forgiveness, this can become a habit. Think about whether you need such experiences?

Most of the cheating stems from casual dating guys while they are somewhere without their regular girlfriends or when they are waiting for them for a long time. And nearby at this moment there may be a pleasant and sociable stranger. A conversation can start between them, which for a young man has no purpose other than to kill time while waiting for his girlfriend. And this communication can lead to a desire to continue acquaintance.

When a young man alone attends social events, clubs, friends' birthdays, the gym, then the probability of accidentally meeting the opposite sex increases several times. Your boyfriend does not even think about any betrayal, he just decides to keep up the conversation with. This conversation can be pleasant for both, they can find common hobbies and interests. And you want to keep getting to know each other.

It should be noted such possible reasons for a guy’s betrayal as a serious quarrel with a permanent girlfriend or when he ceases to see the point in a relationship with her. The banal unwillingness to make concessions and compromises in a couple can lead to thoughts about finding another life partner. As well as the fact that you have a different worldview, interests and hobbies, different goals in life and expectations from relationships.

To save a relationship and prevent a possible betrayal of a guy, you need to follow a few rules:
1. Do not make your loved one wait for you for a long time in shops, beauty salons and other places where you came with him while you are busy with your own business there.
2. Be punctual and show up on dates on time or just a little late.
3. Support your young man in his interests and hobbies. your