Forms of social interactions

The concept of social ties, their types

Obviously, in order to satisfy his needs, a person must interact with other individuals, join social groups, and participate in joint activities.

The central idea of ​​the sociological realism of E. Durkheim, to which, in essence, all his scientific work was devoted, is the idea public solidarity- the question of what is the nature of those ties that unite, attract people to each other. The desire of any person to contact with other people is due to basic human needs. These include: sexual (reproduction); group self-defense; communication with their own kind; intellectual activity; sensory-emotional experiences. Without contacts, the satisfaction of these needs is impossible.

Throughout life, a person is connected with other people through social ties that manifest themselves in various forms and forms.

Social relationships between members of a society or social group are extremely diverse. In the process of communicating with other people, a person constantly selects from a large number of various connections exactly those that he considers necessary to strengthen and develop. In this regard, each individual goes through several stages in the development of social relations before reaching the state of social relations.

In addition, it is social ties that are the basis group-forming processes, the first step in the formation of social groups (Fig. 1).

Fig.1. Types of social connections

So, consider the main types of social connections:

Social contacts. Social contacts should be recognized as the simplest type of connections. These contacts are the most simple, elementary connections between separate individuals.

The first step in building social connections is spatial contacts. They reflect the orientation of people in social space, in which individuals imagine where other people are and how many there are. They may assume the presence of other people or see them. The very assumption of the presence of a certain number of other people can change the behavior of individuals in society. Note that in spatial contact, the individual cannot single out any separate isolated objects from the total number of people around him. He evaluates the people around him as a whole.

Separation from the spatial environment of some special objects can occur only with the contact of interest. With such contact, the individual singles out from his social environment a certain individual or social group to which he pays his attention, which he can use to deepen social ties.

The last type of contacts are exchange contacts. In the course of such contacts, there is a short-term exchange of values ​​between individual individuals. J. Schepansky, describing exchange contacts, notes that they represent a specific type of social relationships in which individuals exchange values ​​without having the desire to change the behavior of other individuals. This means that in the course of such sporadic and short-term exchanges, the attention of the individual is concentrated on the object of exchange, and not on the other individual entering into the exchange. An example of such contact is the purchase of a newspaper, when the buyer, ignoring the seller, gives money and receives a newspaper.

Every time an individual begins to communicate with other people, he must necessarily go through all these three types of contacts in order to move on to more complex social connections.

A more complex type of social connection is social action. Its significance is due to the fact that it is the simplest unit, the simplest element of any kind of social activity of people. For the first time in sociology, the concept of "social action" was introduced and scientifically substantiated by Max Weber.

In the understanding of M. Weber, social action has at least two features: firstly, it must be rational, conscious, and secondly, it must necessarily be oriented towards the behavior of other people.

Social Actions - it is a certain system of actions, means and methods, using which an individual or a social group seeks to change the behavior, views or opinions of other individuals or groups.

Any social action is a system in which the following elements can be distinguished:

ü subject of action influencing individual or community of people;

ü action object, the individual or community on which the action is directed;

ü means (instruments of action) and methods of action, by means of which the necessary change is carried out;

ü action result- the response of the individual or community on which the action was directed.

Two following concepts should be distinguished: "behavior" and "action". If behavior is the body's response to internal or external stimuli (it can be reflex, unconscious or intentional, conscious), then action is only some types of behavior.

When performing social actions, each person experiences the actions of others. There is an exchange of actions or social interaction.

social interaction- this is a systematically stable performance of some actions that are aimed at the partner in order to cause a certain (expected) response from his side, which, in turn, causes a new reaction of the influencer.

P. Sorokin studied social interaction in the most detail. In his opinion, a single individual cannot be considered as an elementary "social cell" or the simplest social phenomenon.

In his work "Systems of Sociology", he noted: "... an individual as an individual - can in no way be considered a microcosm of the social macrocosm. It cannot, because from an individual one can get only an individual and one cannot get what is called “society”, nor what is called “social phenomena” ... For the latter, not one, but many individuals, at least two, are required. However, in order for two or more individuals to be considered as an element of society, it is necessary that they interact with each other.

Sorokin calls the conditions for the emergence of any social interactions:

ü having two or more individuals that determine the behavior and experiences of each other;

ü doing something by them, influencing mutual experiences and actions;

ü presence of conductors, transmitting these influences and the impact of individuals on each other (for example, speech signals or various material carriers).

Human social connections are a set of interactions consisting of actions and responses. A complex network of interactions is formed, covering a different number of individuals. In the process of these interactions, social relations can develop.

Social Relations - this is a system of normalized interactions between partners about something that binds them (subject, interest, etc.). Unlike social interaction, social relations are a stable system limited by certain norms(formal and informal).

Social relations are divided into unilateral and mutual. Unilateral social relations are characterized by the fact that their participants put different meanings into them. For example, love on the part of an individual may stumble upon contempt or hatred on the part of the object of his love.

The reason that sometimes similar interactions differ from each other in content is values. Value in this context can be defined as a desired desired event. The content and meaning of social relations depends on how the need for values ​​and possession of them are combined in interactions. If one individual has resources in the form of wealth, and the other is not interested in acquiring them, then in this case only one type of relationship is possible - the independence of each of the individuals, disinterest and indifference.

For example, the case when Alexander the Great, who had power, wealth and prestige, offered to use these values ​​to the philosopher Diogenes of Sinop. The king asked the philosopher to name a desire, to present any requirement that he would immediately fulfill. But Diogenes had no need for the values ​​offered and expressed his only desire: that the king would move away and not block the sun. The relationship of respect and gratitude, which Macedonsky counted on, did not arise, Diogenes remained independent, as, indeed, the king.

The following elements can be distinguished in the system of relations:

ü subjects of communication- two individuals, two social groups, or an individual and a social group;

ü their link, which may be some object, interest, common value, creating the basis of the relationship;

ü a certain system of duties and obligations or established functions that must be performed by partners in relation to each other.

Among the variety of social relations, there are those that are present in all other relations and are their basis. These are, first of all, relations of social dependence and power.

For example, if we consider the relationship of love, it is obvious that the love of two people for each other implies mutual obligations and the dependence of one person on the motives and actions of the other. The same can be said about friendship, respect, management and leadership, where the relationship of dependence and power is most obvious.

Forms of social interactions

Social interactions in society can be viewed from the point of view of ways to achieve desired values. Here we are dealing with such categories as cooperation, competition and conflict. The first two concepts were developed in detail by American sociologists Robert Park and Ernst Burges.

Word cooperation comes from two Latin words: co"- "together" and " operari"- work. Cooperation can take place in dyads (groups of two individuals), small groups, as well as in large groups (in organizations, social stratum or society).

Cooperation is primarily associated with the desire of people to cooperate, and many sociologists consider this phenomenon based on selflessness (social altruism). However, studies and just experience show that selfish goals serve the cooperation of people to a greater extent than their likes and dislikes, desires or unwillingnesses. Thus, the main meaning of cooperation is, as a rule, in mutual benefit.

Competition(from lat. concurrere- run together) is a struggle between individuals, groups or societies for the acquisition of values, the reserves of which are limited and unequally distributed among individuals or groups (this can be money, power, status, love, appreciation and other values). It can be defined as an attempt to achieve rewards by sidelining or outperforming rivals seeking identical goals.

Competition can be personal (for example, when two leaders compete for influence in an organization) or be impersonal (an entrepreneur competes for markets without knowing his competitors personally).

Experiments conducted in groups show that if the situation develops in such a way that individuals or groups cooperate to pursue common goals, then friendly relations and attitudes are maintained. But as soon as the conditions are created under which there are unshared values ​​that give rise to competition, unfriendly attitudes and unflattering stereotypes immediately arise.

Conflict. Conflict analysis (from lat. conflictus- clash) it is useful to start from an elementary, simplest level, from the origins of conflict relations. Traditionally, it starts with needs structures, a set of which is specific to each individual and social group. All these needs Abraham Maslow(1908 - 1970) divides into five main types: 1) physical needs(food, sex, material well-being, etc.); 2) security needs; 3) social needs(needs for communication, social contacts, interaction); 4) needs to achieve prestige, knowledge, respect, a certain level of competence; 5) higher needs for self-expression, self-affirmation(for example, the need for creativity).

All desires, aspirations of individuals and social groups can be attributed to any type of these needs. Consciously or unconsciously, individuals dream of achieving their goal in accordance with their needs. Consequently, all social interactions of a person can be simplified as a series of elementary acts, each of which begins with an imbalance in connection with an emerging need and the appearance of a goal significant for the individual, and ends with the restoration of balance and the achievement of the goal.

The Sociology of Conflict was developed by Randall Collins as a general theory. Unlike K. Marx and R. Dahrendorf, who focused on the macro theory of conflict, Collins focused on everyday interactions. From his point of view, conflict is the only central process of social life. Collins extended his analysis of stratification (as a phenomenon that generates conflict) to relationships between sexes and age groups.

He took the position that the family is an arena of gender conflict, in which men come out victorious, and women are oppressed by men and subjected to various types of unfair treatment. Collins turned to considering the resources that different age groups have.

Thus, the older generation has a variety of resources, including experience, influence, power and the ability to meet the physical needs of the young. In contrast, one of the few resources of youth is physical attractiveness. This means that adults tend to dominate the young. However, as a person grows older, he acquires more resources and is more able to resist, resulting in increased generational conflict.

From the point of view of conflict, Collins also considered formal organizations. He saw them as networks of interpersonal influences and arenas of conflicting interests.

Secrets of happiness. Training that will help you find happiness Rubshtein Nina Valentinovna

Chapter 9 The Need for Interaction with People

The need to interact with people

“At last I have met a brotherly soul,” Cain said to Abel.

Ya. Vasilkovsky

Man differs from animals in that he is a social being. A person grows and develops within the framework of social, cultural and historical traditions and rules that provide opportunities to meet the needs of all people. If a person remains alone for a long time, without the company of his own kind, he will degrade and die. From birth, a person needs other people. He comes into this world completely helpless and unable to take care of himself. Even a blind kitten left alone on the street can survive. The human child is not.

A person feels the need for others not only for physical survival, but also for the social contact necessary for the formation of personality. A person deprived of physical contact with other people experiences bodily starvation, and deprived of spiritual contact, emotional starvation. People who have poor contact with other people often get sick. Therefore, interaction with other people and the feeling of being part of a community is important for the human body, this is a condition for its physical and mental health, personal growth. With the help of other people, a person grows, cognizes himself, social processes, his own and others' boundaries, only among other people does a person mature as a person. Showing attention to other people, taking care of them, we take care of ourselves and the world in which we and those who will continue our lives, our ideas, our family live.

Rule 20

Full, harmonious, healthy relationships built with other people are a great contribution to your own happiness.

Healthy relationships are based on:

1) trust;

2) respect;

3) the ability of each participant in the relationship to present their needs, realize them and meet support for the presentation of their needs.

If your relationship is doing well, then the quality of your life improves, and you may notice how your business improves and the “weather at home” improves at the same time. At the same time, if your relationships are built mainly on conflicts, jealousy, envy, or you isolate yourself from other people, then the quality of life deteriorates, and this will certainly affect relationships in the professional field, at home, etc. This is because your relationship with other people is a mirror of your interaction with the world, with the environment. What is the interaction, such is the result. If the relationship is inharmonious, it is likely that the interaction with the environment is poorly built and you do not know how to give or take, you do not feel well the boundaries that lie between you and the outside world.

When a child is born, he does not distinguish between himself and the outside world; for him, for example, his mother is part of himself. As he develops, he begins to understand what is part of him, and what is part of the outside. The process of separation (differentiation) occurs through meeting the needs of other people. And the more clearly the needs of others are expressed for him, the better he realizes himself: what he is, where his body ends, where his power ends, where there is danger for him. If the people around him do not identify themselves and their needs, then the child grows up in a deep misunderstanding of how the world works, how it interacts and what is its place in it.

The world is a mirror that shows each person his own reflection.

William Makepeace Thackeray

Case Study

A young man came to the reception with a problem of his self-realization. He complained that the work in the company gives him great inconvenience due to the fact that there is a full-time job and many different requirements. He could choose to work as a "free artist" (freelancer), but he is concerned that he cannot yet find enough clients for himself to financially support himself at an acceptable level. And the company pays well. As a result, he does not work for the company, because there "they put pressure on him", and does not want to work himself, because "customers do not come to me."

The problem of this person is that in childhood he did not learn to separate himself from others, and any needs of others now, in adulthood, are unbearable, limiting, excessive for him. And he prefers to “hide in a hole”, isolate and suffer alone, than to recognize the existence of mutual cooperation. In his personal life, by the way, exactly the same picture.

Thus, human relationships play two very important roles for each of us: connectedness, which provides support in development, and delineation, which helps to more clearly understand who I am and who others are. There is a very strong relationship between these two phenomena: if there are no boundaries, then there is no connection, since only two different beings can communicate, and since there are no boundaries, there are no two separate beings. Then there is no connection, but there is a merger, when none of these two understands where he is and where the other is, where his needs are, and where the needs of the other are. And then these needs cannot be singled out, and therefore cannot be satisfied.

The importance of relationships in our lives is evidenced by the fact that psychologists are mostly approached by people who complain about problems with other people. It can be said with good reason that the main problem of people is unsatisfactory relationships.

Exercise 54

Let's do a little fun test and answer a few questions.

1. I perceive other people mostly as:

- disgusting creatures, orcs, goblins - in general, as non-humans;

- strange creatures that I still cannot comprehend;

- adorable creatures. I love them all very much! I believe that all people are beautiful and deserve only happiness;

- bipedal animals endowed with consciousness and other higher mental functions;

– “by-products of love”;

– spiritual beings with varying degrees of development and awareness.

2. In this regard, I am among people:

- the same goblin, if not worse - in general, it sucks;

- a person misunderstood and not fully disclosed by anyone, a dark horse;

- beautiful, strong, smart, kind. And I discovered all this myself;

– human… mostly human;

- a victim of an abortion;

- moderately well-fed man in the prime of his life.

3. And my relationships with other people are built like this:

- I, even before I say hello, I know where I will hit;

- I always liked jokes that no one but me could understand;

- no enthusiastic admirers of my stunning image! Always so;

- we are responsible for those who were not sent on time;

- we are of the same blood, you and I;

It is better to be an object of envy than compassion.

We will not give the results of the test and invite you to analyze for yourself what your relationship with other people is like. Write in your notebook the three phrases you chose from the exercise that illustrate how you interact with people. Consider what quality of relationship they symbolize.

Please note that the way you treat people clearly reflects how you treat yourself. Practice shows that any relationship begins with a relationship with yourself. If you do not love yourself, if you are at war with yourself - this is a symbol of your relationship with others: then you are at war with them. And if you can’t change other people, you can’t force them not to fight with you (after all, the origins of this struggle are inside you!), then you can deal with dislike for yourself. As soon as you change your attitude towards yourself, as soon as your life ceases to be a battlefield “for perfection” and you allow yourself to be who you are, then you and other people will be allowed to be who they are, and in return they will allow you .

No one is unhappy only from external causes.

Above, we talked about the fact that the main problem for people is unsatisfactory relationships. At the same time, we can also say the opposite. The need for other people is fraught with danger, which makes us unhappy and contributes to building unsatisfactory relationships. This is due to the fact that often behind the need for a relationship is a completely different our personal unmet need. It is she who pushes us to seek refuge outside, with other people. It is she who prompts us to look for a person who could save us from the uncomfortable state of unmet need, who could for us, but for us satisfy her.

Case Study

The young woman Vera lived in constant anxiety that her husband did not love her and, perhaps, was cheating on her. At the same time, according to her, her husband took care of her and tried to please her in everything. Vera felt an urgent need for him and was very worried when he was not around.

In the course of therapeutic work, Vera realized that she needed to feel loved, to feel care and attention from herself. Instead of paying attention and taking care of herself, Vera looked for support in her husband, another person, and therefore could not satisfy her need. No matter how much her husband gave her love and attention, she did not have enough of it because she herself did not learn to love herself. Vera felt that it was very important for her to feel herself and her personal strength. And as soon as she managed to get in touch with herself, to feel and realize herself, she became more confident and ceased to feel such a need for the constant presence and attention of her husband.

Another example

A young woman cannot find a life partner. She looks around and sees only those who are not suitable for her, and therefore decides that there is no suitable person in this world for her. During therapy, it turned out that in the family she did not have enough attention from her father, all his attention was paid to her youngest daughter, and she could not feel like a beloved daughter, but she really needed it. The image of her father and her lack of recognition by him were deposited in her unconscious. Naturally, she didn't realize it. However, this experience influenced her gradually, and she unconsciously looked for a man who could give her what her father did not give: her recognition as a daughter. Naturally, there is no exact copy of her father in the world (the father himself died several years ago), and indeed, not a single man could give her what she needed, simply because no one was a father to her. During therapy, she managed to realize this and relive the loss of her father. However, the experience of this loss gave the client the realization that part of her father is in herself - in her genes. She was able to feel not only that he is her father, but also that she is his daughter, flesh of flesh, and you can’t argue with this biological fact! The work done allowed the client to no longer look for what they do not have in men, but to see them in a different way and realize that she has other needs for them.

Exercise 55

Look at your relationships with people in terms of:

1) the bodily sphere;

2) emotional sphere;

3) intellectual sphere;

4) spiritual sphere.

Answer the questions and write your answers in your notebook:

How much interaction with other people is present in each of these areas?

How satisfactory is it?

Does it bring you grief or joy? What exactly?

What do you lack in these areas from other people?

What is your personal contribution to the fact that you do not receive this? How do you do it?

How can you get it? Think of 15 ways to get it.

If you do not know these methods, just come up with them, including fantasy and imagination.

The pursuit of the prince in a white Mercedes has long been a byword and yet is still relevant. It illustrates how often we strive for relationships to replace some of our other needs - the need for security, the need for material well-being, the need for self-realization. As soon as a person learned to satisfy his personal, unrelated needs, his relationships improved at the same time. As a rule, we impose on another person what we ourselves do not want or are not able to do, as well as our fears and hopes. The process of becoming aware of our needs helps to remove them layer by layer from our relationships with other people and makes them more open, honest, trusting.

Rule 21

Realize which needs you can satisfy yourself and which you can only meet with the help of other people. Don't pass on to others what you can do yourself.

In the previous chapter, we considered existential concepts: anxiety, loneliness, choice. For the most part, their presence in everyday understanding indicates that a person has not built relationships that would satisfy him, has not realized his abilities, has not made a decision for himself about his own independence. If this is so, then a person is doomed to look for an “additional” person and, having stuck to him, through him, try to resolve his unfulfillment. Alas, this method is doomed to failure, as we have already written, another person cannot make us happy, since self-realization is a process that is possible only from within.

As a rule, in such relationships (whether marital, parent-child or friendly), the passive partner tries to mold his life with the hands of another, but he will never succeed, even the active partner cannot do this due to the simple fact that he is different. Human. The passive will still remain unsatisfied, no matter how hard the active tries. And if at the beginning of such a relationship the passive demanded “only” to warm him up or listen, then the further the relationship develops and the more the active tries to do, the smaller and at the same time impracticable the claims and requests of the passive become: “you don’t walk like that”, “You don’t have such a butt”, “You don’t eat like that”, and so on.

It is interesting that the active partner does almost the same thing: he does not know his needs and cannot recognize them, the passive one slips his own into him, facilitating the active work of realizing his own needs. It is a symbiosis, a fusion in which there are no boundaries and no connection.

In such relationships, there is a lot of irritation and dissatisfaction. It looks as if each of them is hungry and feeds the other with what he needs. As in a fairy tale about the Fox and the Crane.

“The Fox and the Crane became friends.

So the Fox decided to treat the Crane, went to invite him to visit her:

- Come, kumanek, come, dear! I'll feed you!

The Crane went to the banquet, and the Fox boiled semolina porridge and smeared it on a plate. Served and treats:

- Eat, darling-kumanek, she cooked herself.

The crane knock-knock with his nose on the plate, knocked, knocked - nothing hits!

And the Fox licks herself and licks the porridge, so she ate it all herself.

She ate porridge and says:

- Do not blame me, kumanek! There is nothing more to eat.

The crane answers her:

- Thank you, godfather, and on this! Come to visit me.

The next day, the Fox comes to the Crane, and he prepared okroshka, poured it into a jug with a narrow neck, put it on the table and said:

- Eat, gossip! Right, there is nothing more to regale.

The fox began to spin around the jug. And so he goes in, and so on, and licks him, and sniffs something - he can’t get it in any way: his head won’t fit into the jug.

And the Crane pecks at itself and pecks until it has eaten everything.

- Well, do not blame me, godfather! Nothing else to eat!

Lisa took annoyance. I thought that I would eat for a whole week, but I went home without salty slurping. As backfired, so it responded!

Since then, the friendship between the Fox and the Crane has been apart.

In the processing of A.N. Tolstoy

People who communicate in this way easily recognize each other in the crowd - by non-verbal behavior, movements, gestures, facial expressions.

Exercise 56

Remember how you usually meet people, how you exchange greetings, start a conversation, communicate.

Play it, picture it. Pay attention to whether you are smiling or trying to appear indifferent, disinterested. How do you show your joy or disinterest? Pay attention to your posture, facial expressions, gestures, voice. Notice if in your way of communication there are signals (in voice, posture, movements) that you send unconsciously and which you did not notice before? Maybe you are smiling and at the same time keep your arms crossed over your chest - a signal of closeness, tension. Or you frown, make many small movements, indicating that it is difficult for you to stay in contact and you are trying to get out of it as soon as possible. Hold on to one of these signals. Repeat it until you understand its essence. Perhaps it will be useful to slow it down a little, to make this gesture more consciously. Note what images, feelings will arise at the time when you play the signal.

Now put yourself in the place of your interlocutor and look at yourself through his eyes. How do you perceive yourself? Do you feel comfortable talking to someone like you? Why? Try to describe the way of your interaction from the position of your interlocutor.

Get back into your seat. Look at your imaginary interlocutor. What do you want to bring to your relationship? How would you like to interact? Why don't you do it? Try to bring the desired elements of communication into the interaction. Play the conversation again.

In order to do this exercise more effectively, you can film yourself on a video camera and watch the recording. In group therapy work, we often pay attention to non-verbal expressions and how they affect others. From the responses of group members, clients learn how they make others feel, what impression they make, and what kind of relationship they are invited to by such behavior without noticing it themselves.

It is natural that a complex of features manifested in communication (facial expressions, gestures, intonation, specific words) form the image of a certain role.

Exercise 57

Think about the roles you play in life. This may be the role of a father, daughter, wife, doctor, intellectual, bitch, independent or suffering person, etc. After labeling each role, describe it.

It should look like this:

And so I...

I am a man.

And so I try to keep all my feelings to myself.

I am a mother.

And so I act like a person who is older and more experienced, I try to patronize and do not accept objections.

Then answer the questions and write the answers in your notebook:

Which roles are natural, their own, and which are forced, imposed?

What roles do you enjoy and what do you enjoy doing?

Which roles are easy and which ones are difficult?

In connection with what these roles were acquired, how did it all begin? For what?

What do these roles give you now? Are they needed now? Do they perform their functions?

What roles would you like to give up? What's stopping you?

We are so used to pretending to others that in the end we begin to pretend to ourselves.

François de La Rochefoucauld

One of the problems in relationships is that we build our relationships based on the roles we have learned in the process of socialization. That is, often we behave in one way or another only because we follow the postulates: “I am a woman”, or “I am a mother”, or “I am a junior manager”. As children, we are often told: “You are a man, so behave like a man” or “You are a girl, and girls do not fight.” We are taught to roles and to the fact that each role has only one single model of behavior. If we think that a wife is a woman responsible for the psychological climate in the house, doing everything to make her husband happy to return home, a woman who runs the household and raises children, then we impoverish ourselves and our relationships. After all, we are more multifaceted than our role. And in a relationship, we don't have to be limited to just one role. We can be a wife or a husband, and at the same time we can be a partner, we can be a friend or something else. When we get stuck in one role, we limit ourselves in actions, in ways of responding.

Rule 22

In order for relations to be harmonious, they must be flexible, mobile and diverse, they must develop.

To do this, it is important to be able not to get stuck in roles, but to be able to refuse or accept them, to exchange them if necessary. In marriage, the wife may sometimes take responsibility for solving some issue, or she may look after her husband and then play the role of mother. In order for the relationship between her and her husband to be creative, the husband also needs to periodically take on the role of a father and take care of his wife and take responsibility for resolving certain issues. If both spouses are aware of how, why and in what cases they exchange roles, this can take the form of a game and bring variety to life together. After all, all of us periodically want to feel like children who have someone to take care of and caress, as well as to feel equal, valuable and significant, and sometimes authoritative, as well as those on whom you can rely.

Quite often, the roles serve as a poster, which, like a canvas in the closet of Papa Carlo, hides from prying eyes what a person considers it necessary to hide. He learned to hide parts of his personality, character traits and feelings, choosing a role, even when he was a small child, and still believes that these traits and qualities should be hidden from prying eyes. And thus, a person condemns himself to the fact that never, nowhere and under no circumstances can he afford to be himself. Not only is there no freedom in such a position, it also deprives him of the opportunity to be accepted by another person for who he is. But isn't that what we all dream about: to be accepted as we are? The person playing the role doesn't have that chance.

Whatever the words and deeds of a person, the main thing is that they be real.

Romain Rolland

One of the roles that can be singled out separately is the role of a “good person”. This role dictates that we appear to be a nice, nice, easy-to-get-together person who doesn't give other people trouble and is always pleasant to talk to. We also learn this role from childhood if parents and other adults support those behaviors that they like and do not support those that cause them anxiety. In this way, you may have learned from childhood that being nice and comfortable is much more enjoyable than being yourself. However, in childhood, our parents still loved us and were still with us. For this they did not need our sincerity and trust. In adult life, in order to build harmonious and enjoyable relationships with other people, we need sincerity and "realness", presenting ourselves as we are. Only then can we attract exactly the people we like. And only in this way can we attract those who like us. Presenting ourselves as a good person, we hide part of our personality behind a mask and create the illusion of ourselves.

You are not dead yet to speak only good things about you.

K. Izhikovsky

We really want to be nice to other people because we want to have good relationships, because acceptance of other people is essential to our survival. But at the same time, it is important to know how much we want to be good for other people and whether this infringes on our needs. Very often, when we want to be good to someone, we contribute to not being ourselves.

If you want to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

E. Hubbard

We don't really have to be good to other people, but we can be good to others within certain limits. And here it is important to understand which ones. The criterion is our "I want".

Exercise 58

(Taken from A. Mindell's The Power of Silence)

Sit comfortably and notice your breathing for a couple of minutes.

Think of someone who has given you trouble recently or in the past. Think of the most unpleasant person you can imagine. What kind of person is this - strong, vulgar, noisy, silent, obsequious, etc.? Write down your descriptions.

As you think of this person, imagine the field around him or her. What is the atmosphere, space or aura around this person? Use your imagination to see movements, colors and shapes near or around this person. For example, is his or her field filled with arrows, or dark clouds, or red spray? Take some time and really draw that aura. What you draw may or may not be unexpected for you.

Now, looking at what you have drawn, ask yourself which of the colors or movements in this picture - which energies - are the most difficult for you? For example, piercing movements, dark red spots, or a swirling void may be most unpleasant for you.

How do you feel this energy in other situations in your life, in other people or events? Is this energy manifesting now? Has it manifested itself at other times in other areas of your life? For example, do you find it in your work? Do other people who have this energy usually upset you? This can be difficult to think about, as we tend to suppress unpleasant energies.

Using your hands, so to speak, "depict" this unpleasant energy in the air. As you move your arms, feel your body and try to guess where the unpleasant energy might be. Make a simple sketch of your body and mark the location of this energy on it. (There may be more than one.) Do you currently have or have you experienced acute or chronic pain in that area, or a fear of illness associated with that area?

Now we turn to the essence, the root cause of this field. To do this, depict with your movement the most unpleasant energy for you. Let her move your hands or, if you like, your whole body. Use your awareness; do not make any movements that could injure you. Instead, become a shaman and gently let go of your human form; reincarnate and enter into this unpleasant energy, becoming it. Express it with dance or hand movements.

When you're ready, ask yourself: what is the underlying tendency of this energy? What was this energy at its earliest stage, before it got so big? To discover an entity, it is sometimes helpful to move more slowly while still feeling it with the same intensity. (For example, a movement similar to the flight of an arrow may become alternating intense concentration on different things.)

If you are still resisting the basic trend of this energy, then go deeper - you have not yet reached its essence. At the level of essence, there is no duality. Go deeper and get to the essence of this unpleasant energy. For example, an entity may end up being a form of sentience, or a flower, a stone, a spark of life, a soothing movement, clarity or carelessness. Write it down.

Finally, allow yourself to enter this hyperspace, the essence of this unpleasant energy, for a short time and live there. What is her world like? Explore this space. Make up a story about him. What do you see, hear and feel there?

Imagine some real or mythical character, a humanoid figure representing this space, and become this figure. Do you see yourself as a wise old woman like a rock or a giant bird in the air? A small child in a cave?

How could this entity influence your lifestyle in general? How could this entity influence how you treat other people? Where in your body would a figure representing an entity be? Can you feel it there? Experience that figure there, connect with it, be it.

Imagine that you are using this figure in a relationship with the unpleasant person you were thinking about at the beginning of the exercise. Can you be that figure in a relationship with that person? Imagine how that unpleasant person would react to this.

If you could bring this figure/entity into the outside world, into the Universe, how would it interact with the world and change the world?

Many people who have done this exercise have found that the entity figure helps them communicate with the person they don't like in a much different and less stressful way. Some have taken a completely different perspective on relationships as well as on their bodies.

The mirror successfully reflected her attempts to appear beautiful.

Emil Krotky

While doing this exercise, you may have noticed that the other person is, in a sense, our mirror, helping to discover in ourselves what we were not aware of before. Sometimes another person helps to start some important personal process of ours. For example, you might never know how strong you are unless the other person called you out. to fight would not provoke conflict. Thus, other people, whatever they may be, always force us to learn and develop.

An independent woman is a woman who has not found anyone who would like to depend on her.

Sasha Guitry

If the relationship has become difficult, you may begin to think that it is better to avoid communication, to avoid the experience of interacting with other people. It is better to be an independent loner than to meet with criticism, accusations, rejection, etc. again and again. You can worry about the conflict and think about how unfair people can be, about how unhappy we are. Or you can view conflict as a form of interaction that gives us the opportunity to get to know ourselves and the other person better, reconsider relationships and take on more responsibility.

Fear the wrath of a patient man.

J. Dryden

Non-conflict is fraught with the fact that we may never know if everything is right for our partner, and continue to “play” an impeccable relationship.

One of the main parameters of a relationship is mobility. Sooner or later, many relationships lose their mobility, become static, frozen. This can be due to a number of individual reasons, but the freezing itself can be described as the cessation of presenting oneself to a partner and being interested in what is happening with a partner, whether it is a friend or a spouse. Consider the example of marital relations. A well-known anecdote is an illustration of this:

The wife, desperate to attract her husband's attention, puts on a gas mask and enters the room.

- Look at me!

- I'm watching. So what? Eyebrows, or what, plucked?

This is an illustration of a frozen marriage in which self-presentation and interest in the other have long stopped. Why do they stop? There are several reasons for this.

In the first months of a relationship, people present only the so-called facade to each other and are interested in the facade, that is, in the information that, in their opinion, it is safe to present. Criteria for such security: "generally accepted", the absence of any "compromising evidence", from their point of view, that is, extraordinary qualities or aspects of the personality. Big differences and more intimate information are withheld both for fear of rejection by their partner, and for fear of receiving a negative reaction from the partner (condemnation, for example).

Circus horses don't dance to the beat of the music. It's the conductor adjusting to their pace.

Yanina Ipohorskaya

Marriage relations (as well as friendships, and parent-child relationships, and many others) in society imply certain traditional roles, beyond which spouses do not risk going beyond, fearing to lose the appearance of a “good spouse”. Thus, they impoverish their relationship by hiding a large part of themselves from each other. In addition to depriving each other of information, the spouses also spend quite a lot of energy in order to keep their "facade" and hide their true face, it becomes very tiring at close range, when the spouses see each other every day, and they prefer to move away than put in the effort to maintain that façade. Thus, people tired of pretending, who do not know each other at all, begin to live in one house. No wonder there is no energy in such a marriage. And, naturally, they start looking for energy elsewhere. This other place can be anything: a child, family of origin, work, football, car, shopping, TV, adultery.

The wives who keep the house in perfect order are the wives who love the house more than the husband.

Yanina Ipohorskaya

In society, it is customary to believe that differences lead to conflicts, so it is customary to hide differences and pretend that "we are very similar, we have a lot in common." However, conflict really only happens when differences are fought over. One has only to recognize the differences and take them for granted - all the reasons for conflicts disappear.

It is not an abyss that separates, but a difference in levels.

Stanislav Jerzy Lec

Mismatch of basic needs of partners. It is important that each of us has three or four such (basic needs), and far from being the same in every family or couple, the mismatch of basic needs is rather rare. However, the struggle between people occurs more often not because of them, but because of those differences that are not basic. And here it is very important to figure out where the struggle is going on because of ideas, for example: “what kind of family (friendship, team) should be and how spouses (partners, friends) should behave”, and where - because of basic needs. And if you manage to deal with limiting ideas, then peace and love come between people, and if, nevertheless, we are talking about basic needs, and they radically do not converge, then you manage to say goodbye, grieve about it and let go of inappropriate relationships.

- I heard that you and Ulka broke up?

- Why? She looks like a pretty girl...

Yes, it's pleasing to the eye...

- So what's up???

- Ears hurt.

How to determine whether the need, because of which there is a dispute in a relationship, is the same, basic? There is a simple sign for this: it is the inability to compromise on this need. The possibility or impossibility of a compromise is determined experimentally. Partners make compromises and give up such a need or try to satisfy it elsewhere and see what happens. For example, if you like to hang out with friends a lot, but your partner doesn't, then you can check what happens if:

- you will refuse to meet them in your house with your partner;

- make meetings with friends much less frequent, and not at home, or not with your partner;

- your partner will spend more time without you;

- your partner will occasionally meet with you and your friends.

If you manage to satisfy the need for communication without disturbing your partner, then everything is wonderful.

There are thousands of such needs in which we can compromise. It is more difficult, for example, with monogamy and polygamy. There are people who easily agree to polygamous relationships and do not grieve. It is more common when one partner looks good at polygamy, and the second looks bad. Another option is when the partner looks good only at his own polygamy. To check whether such a need is basic or “ideological”, there is a huge risk: after all, each of them is trying how to be polygamous and how is he when a partner is polygamous! And after that they discuss what is happening to them. If the family does not fall apart in the process of this experimentation, then perhaps it will survive.

Well, the worst thing that can happen is when you pretend you can compromise where you really can't. Then you misinform your partner, and he decides to live with you based on this misinformation. In such a situation, of course, disappointment sooner or later cannot be avoided. Another option is when you or your partner consider too many of your needs to be basic. This is an inadequate perception, since a person, as a social being, in order to get along with others, has much fewer unique needs than those that he can satisfy in the company of any partner.

So many things you can live without!

Sometimes it seems to us that we really want not to participate in conflicts, not to be jealous, not to criticize. And yet we can be in unsatisfactory relationships for many years, which are accompanied by criticism, jealousy and quarrels. Sometimes we think that we are continuing this relationship because we hope that our partner will change. At the same time, it is precisely when the partner changes - becomes more caring, calmer, stops drinking - that the relationship breaks up. This suggests that we need precisely such inharmonious relationships. It often turns out that while the other partner behaved badly, we played an important role for ourselves, and he gave us this opportunity. As soon as he changed, the need for this important role disappeared by itself, and we were left out of work.

We only fall into the trap of accusations and criticism when we agree within ourselves with the accuser and critic, when we ourselves accuse and criticize ourselves. If we consider ourselves, consciously or not, unworthy of a respectful, loving partner, if we consider ourselves stupid, ugly, then it is important for us to live this state to the end in order to finally find a way to overcome it, to gain experience and expand our capabilities in order to get back your power. Every symptom holds our strength and potential for healing. They say about fear: in order for it to disappear, go through it, to the end. The same is true for relationships. We choose the “wrong” partners, “wrong” friends, “wrong” colleagues precisely in order to go to the end and reach the next level, to play our role, to be at the limit of strength, after which a “second wind” will open. But in order for this to happen, it is important to be aware of exactly how we maintain unsatisfactory relationships, why we avoid taking responsibility for the fact that they continue, and do not look for other ways to get out of the conflict.

Exercise 59

Think of a conflict involving another person. What did this person accuse you of? What were his complaints about you? Speak them.

Agree with the accusation or part of it. If you don't really think so, just assume that some part of the allegations or claims are true. Do it out loud.

How did your condition change after you agreed with part of the claims?

Do not take the inability to protect yourself for the willingness to sacrifice yourself.

When we accept a charge, two things happen:

1. We neutralize the accuser's position by taking over his function. When we agree with the accusation, the accuser has nothing more to add, because his goal - to force us to admit guilt - has been achieved.

2. We take on more responsibility and become the Cause, not the Consequence, we move from the position of a child who is blamed to the position of an adult who himself is the author of what happens to him and is responsible for it. This is how we increase our self-confidence.

Brief conclusions

Often behind the need for a relationship is a completely different our personal unmet need.

As soon as a person learns to satisfy his personal, non-social needs, his relationships with people will also improve at the same time.

It is important to be able not to get stuck in roles and identities, but to be able to refuse them, accept them or exchange them if necessary.

We want to be good to other people because we need to have good relationships, acceptance of other people is essential to our survival. But at the same time, we need to understand how good we want to be for them.

Conflict forces us to evolve. Non-conflict is fraught with the fact that we may never know if everything is right for our partner, and continue to “depict” an impeccable relationship.

From the book Personality Manipulation the author Grachev Georgy

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From the book The Human Project author Meneghetti Antonio

Identifying Sensitivity in Parent-Child Interactions Impairments in parent-child social interaction are best diagnosed through video recordings and microanalysis. You can record on video situations of interaction between a mother or father with a child, such as

INTERACTION

Mechanical the form of V. is not a universal, but only a particular of the universal form of V. as an endless chain of cause and effect. relations.

V.'s characterization as a mutual change in the sides of the system, in which the motion acquires a "circular" character, also applies to any specific system of interacting phenomena. Such a concrete also acts as a "cause of itself", i.e. contains within itself the source of its own movement. Understood in this way, the reason coincides with the internal. contradiction of this particular system.

V. always has a specific character in the sense that there is always a ratio of the parties determined. complete system, eg. solar system, vegetable, animal kingdoms, human. society, def. socio-economic formations. The content of V. is due to the nature of its constituent moments, the mutual change of which acts as the movement of this system. Examples of such a dialectical V. can serve any specific system, for example. living organisms. Living organisms refract the effects of the external environment through specific. organization of their body and the relationship of individuals of this species. A striking example of a self-preserving, self-reproducing and self-moving system of interacting phenomena can be a human being. society in its development based on specific social patterns.

V. there is a process, ext. the unity of which is realized in the continuous change of its elements, sides. Reproduction of the phenomenon on the basis of V. its own. elements and acts as its development (self-development). In a self-developing system, the reason for its existence ultimately turns out to be its own. consequence. The chain of causes and actions closes here not only into a "ring", but also into a "spiral". An example of this form of V. is the system of V. economical. phenomena, scientifically reproduced in Marx's Capital.

In a similar relationship V. are among themselves and the practice of man. Theory is not only a consequence of practice. Arising on the basis of practice and receiving its active development in it, theory has a reverse effect on practice.

V. is expressed, for example, in the relations between wage workers and capitalists within the commodity-capitalist. production relations. Capital is as much a consequence of the existence of wage labor as it is the cause of its given, concrete historical. existence.

With all the dependence of the sides of V., dialectics obliges us to always keep in mind that one of the sides of this V. is leading. Such a leading side is the one from which each new circle of development begins. So, for example, in relation to V. theory and practice, practice is the leading party.

Lit.: Marx K., Capital, vol. 1–3, M., 1955; his own, Towards a Criticism of Political Economy, M., 1953; Engels F., Dialectics of Nature, Moscow, 1955; his own, Anti-Dühring, M., 1957; Lenin V.I., Philosophical Notebooks, Soch., 4th ed., vol. 38; Hegel G., Science of Logic, Soch., vol. 5, M., 1937.

E. Ilyenkov, G. Davydova, V. Lektorsky. Moscow.

Philosophical Encyclopedia. In 5 volumes - M .: Soviet Encyclopedia. Edited by F. V. Konstantinov. 1960-1970 .

INTERACTION

INTERACTION - a philosophical category that reflects the processes of interaction of various objects with each other, their mutual conditionality, change of state, mutual transition, as well as the generation of one object by another. Interaction is a kind of direct or indirect, external or internal relationship, connection. The properties of an object can manifest themselves and be known only in interaction with other objects. Interaction acts as an integrating factor, through which the parts are combined into a certain type of integrity, structure. Each form of motion of matter is based on certain types of interaction of structural elements.

Interaction determines the relationship of cause and effect. Each of the interacting parties acts as a cause of the other and as a consequence of the simultaneous reverse influence of the opposite side. The interaction of opposites are the deepest sources, the basis and the ultimate cause of the emergence, self-motion and development of objects.

Modern natural science has shown that any interaction is associated with material fields and is accompanied by the transfer of matter, motion and information. Knowledge of things means knowledge of their interaction and is itself the result of the interaction of subject and object.

A. G. Spirkin

New Philosophical Encyclopedia: In 4 vols. M.: Thought. Edited by V. S. Stepin. 2001 .

Synonyms:

Antonyms:

See what "INTERACTION" is in other dictionaries:

Interaction … Spelling Dictionary

In physics, the impact of bodies or h on each other, leading to a change in the state of their movement. In Newtonian mechanics, the mutual action of bodies on each other is quantitatively characterized by force. A more general characteristic of V. yavl. potent. energy. Initially… … Physical Encyclopedia

interaction- (in psychology) the process of direct or indirect influence of objects (subjects) on each other, generating their mutual conditioning and connection. V. acts as an integrating factor that promotes the formation of structures. Feature… Great Psychological Encyclopedia

interaction- The term "interworking" is used to refer to the interactions between networks, between end systems or between parts of them, with the aim of providing a functional unit capable of communicating from end to end. ... ... Technical Translator's Handbook

A philosophical category that reflects the processes of the influence of objects on each other, their mutual conditionality and the generation of one object by another. Interaction is a universal form of movement, development, determines the existence and structural ... ... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

INTERACTION, interactions, cf. (book). Mutual communication; mutual conditioning. Interaction of social phenomena. Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov

Communication, coordination, solvation, allelopathy. Ant. inconsistency Dictionary of Russian synonyms. interaction noun, number of synonyms: 5 allelopathy (1) … Synonym dictionary

Actions coordinated in terms of tasks (objects), directions, lines (regions) and time between parts of various types of the Armed Forces (arms, fleet forces, special troops) in the interests of achieving the common goal of a battle, operation. One of the principles of the military ... ... Marine Dictionary

INTERACTION, I, cf. 1. Mutual connection of phenomena. B. supply and demand. 2. Mutual support. V. troops (coordinated actions of troops in the performance of a combat mission). Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

Lecture 4. General characteristics of interaction

The essence of interaction. Society does not consist of separate individuals, but expresses the sum of those connections and relations in which these individuals are with each other. The basis of these connections and relationships is the interaction of people.

Interaction- this is the process of direct or indirect influence of objects (subjects) on each other, generating their mutual conditioning and connection.

It is causality that constitutes the main feature of interaction, when each of the interacting parties acts as the cause of the other and as a consequence of the simultaneous reverse influence of the opposite side, which determines the development of objects and their structures. If the interaction reveals a contradiction, then it acts as a source of self-movement and self-development of phenomena and processes.

In interaction, the relation of a person to another person as to a subject who has his own world is realized. The interaction of a person with a person in society is also the interaction of their inner worlds: the exchange of thoughts, ideas, images, the impact on goals and needs, the impact on the assessments of another individual, his emotional state.

Interaction in domestic social psychology, in addition, is usually understood not only as the influence of people on each other, but also as the direct organization of their joint actions, which allows the group to realize common activities for its members. The interaction itself in this case acts as a systematic, constant implementation of actions aimed at causing an appropriate reaction from other people. Joint life and activity, in contrast to the individual, at the same time has more severe restrictions on any manifestations of activity-passivity of individuals. This forces people to build and coordinate

create images of "I - He", "We - They", coordinate efforts among themselves. In the course of real interaction, adequate ideas of a person about himself, other people, and their groups are also formed. The interaction of people is the leading factor in the regulation of their self-assessments and behavior in society.

Features of interaction. Usually distinguish between interpersonal and intergroup interaction.

Interpersonal interaction- these are accidental or intentional, private or public, long-term or short-term, verbal or non-verbal contacts and connections between two or more people, causing mutual changes in their behavior, activities, relationships and attitudes.

The main features of such interaction are:

The presence of an external goal (object) in relation to the interacting individuals, the achievement of which involves mutual efforts;

Explicitness (accessibility) for observation from outside and registration by other people;

Situation - a rather rigid regulation by specific conditions of activity, norms, rules and intensity of relations, due to which interaction becomes a rather changeable phenomenon;

Reflexive ambiguity - the dependence of its perception on the conditions of implementation and the assessments of its participants.

Intergroup interaction- the process of direct or indirect influence of multiple subjects (objects) on each other, giving rise to their mutual conditionality and the peculiar nature of the relationship. Usually it takes place between whole groups (as well as their parts) and acts as an integrating (or destabilizing) factor in the development of society.

The basis of intergroup interaction is the functioning of the phenomena "we" and "they". Any community of people, any relationship between them arise, strengthen and function only as long as the awareness of the feeling of “we”, i.e. while all people (or most of them) consider themselves to belong to this group, identify themselves with it. "We" is nothing but a reflection in the consciousness of a particular social community of the fact of the objective Conditions for the coexistence of its representatives.

But for the stability of the “we” phenomenon, the “they” phenomenon must inevitably exist, i.e. another group, not similar, different from us. It is the realization that there are "they", in turn, gives rise to the desire to self-determine in relation to "them", to separate from "them" as "we". Analyzing the idea of ​​L. Feuerbach about replacing the category of “I” as a subject of knowledge with the category “I and you”, one of the most famous scientists of our country B.F. Porshnev came to the conclusion that social psychology becomes a science only when not “I and you”, but “we and them” is put in place of the original psychological phenomenon, but instead of the relationship of two individuals - the relationship of two communities (Porshnev B.F., 1967).

The “they” phenomenon, just like the “we” phenomenon, has its own real basis: if the objective conditions of life and activity of people, the psychological reflection of which are the “we” and “they” phenomena, coincide, turn out to be the same, then the opposition of one community the other one will fade away sooner or later.

Nevertheless, "we" have always endowed ourselves with more merit than "they." People tend to overestimate the virtues of "their" nation and, conversely, downplay the strengths of others. As for the shortcomings, the opposite is true here. The well-known proverb that “a mote is visible in someone else’s eye, but you won’t notice a log in your own” just clearly characterizes this pattern.

"Our" ideas, views, feelings, behavior are more correct, more just than "theirs". In this case, we are not talking about a real comparison, i.e. not about what is better, based on common sense and worldly logic. A simple person usually does not make such a comparison. “Alien” seems “bad” not because for some reason it is worse than “ours”, but because it is “foreign”.

Lecture 5. The content and dynamics of human interaction

At present, in Western science there are many points of view explaining the reasons for the interaction of people (Table 1). In our country, its study by psychologists is given

very little attention. For a better understanding of its essence, it is necessary to represent, first of all, the epistemology of the emergence and development of interaction, understanding it as a complex multi-stage process of transformation (transformation) of some social-psychological phenomena into others.

It is possible to divide the process of human interaction into three stages (levels): initial, intermediate and final (Scheme 1).

Beginning of interaction. On the first stage(initial level) interaction is the simplest primary contacts of people, when between them there is only a certain primary and very simplified mutual or one-sided "physical" influence on each other for the purpose of exchanging information and communication, which, for specific reasons, may not reach its goals, and therefore not receive all-round development 1 .

The main thing in the success of initial contacts is the acceptance or rejection of each other by the partners in the interaction. At the same time, they do not constitute a simple sum of individuals, but are some completely new and specific formation of connections and relationships, which is regulated by a real or imaginary (imagined) difference - similarity, similarity-contrast of people involved in joint activity (practical or mental). Differences between individuals are one of the main conditions for the development of their interactions (communication, relationships, compatibility, workability), as well as themselves as individuals.

Any contact usually begins with a concrete sensory perception of the external appearance, features of the activity and behavior of other people. At this moment, as a rule, emotional-behavioral reactions of individuals dominate. Acceptance-rejection relations are manifested in facial expressions,

The concept of "contact" is used in several meanings. "Contact" can mean touch (from lat. contactus, contingo- touch, touch, grab, get, reach, have a relationship with someone). In psychology, contact is the convergence of subjects in time and space, as well as a certain measure of closeness in a relationship. In this regard, in some cases they speak of "good" and "close", "direct" or, conversely, of "weak", "unstable", unstable, "mediated" contact; in other cases, about contact as a necessary condition for correct interaction. The presence of contact, i.e. known stage of intimacy, is always regarded as the desirable basis for effective interaction.

standing

` "Cross and one-way traffic". At the first stage, the child walks slowly, alternately touching either the right or the left hand of the opposite knee (cross movements). At the stage of mastering the exercise, you count (clap your hands) 12 times at a slow pace.

At the second stage, he also steps slowly 12 times to your “accompaniment”, but already touching the knee of the same name (unilateral movements). At the third and fifth stages - cross movements, at the fourth - unilateral. Thus, the first, third and fifth (second and fourth, respectively) stages are the same. A prerequisite is to start and

end the exercise with cross movements.

Rice. 7. Scheme for performing an exercise with a tape

After the child has mastered this exercise under an external account, you can offer to perform it on your own - to count and control the sequence and switch from movement to movement. A more complex version of this exercise is the loading of the visual analyzer, when the child follows with his eyes an object that the teacher is moving, or the child translates his eyes according to a verbal instruction.

` Jumping and running in place on two legs. Alternation of jumps: legs apart (to the sides, back and forth) - legs together, legs apart and legs crossed; the same, but with a similar movement of the arms extended straight in front of you; running with a cross step straight and to the sides.

` "Okay". Recall the well-known game. Each of the players performs a clap; then a straight (cross) clap on the partner's palm; "own" cotton; then clap with the partners' right palms; "own" cotton; then clap with the left palms of the partners. Repeat the cycle of six claps, gradually increasing the pace until one of the partners mixes up the sequence.

In a more complex version, additional claps can be used here: foot on foot, knee on knee, elbow on elbow.

` "Gypsy". Imitation of the well-known dance. Touch the left knee with the right hand (the left leg bent at the knee rises forward and up); then touch the right heel with your left hand from behind (the right leg bent at the knee is pulled back). Repeat for the left arm and right knee and the right arm and left heel respectively. Run the entire cycle 3 times.

Having considered the basic neuropsychological technologies for the formation and correction of the integrative sensorimotor repertoire of the child, we note in conclusion the obligatory inclusion of special, widely known methods in the psychological and pedagogical support relaxation, relaxation. Bearing in mind the huge amount of literature on this issue, we will not dwell on these techniques. You can use those that are most effective for a given child.

« In any case, it is necessary to refer to his personal experience, asking him (lying with his eyes closed) to imagine the seashore, where the sun gently shines and the surf gently splashes, a sunny meadow or a hammock in the country, where he indulged in his dreams. You can also use the child's fantasies by inviting him to imagine himself lying on a cloud, a magic carpet, etc.

I would only like to emphasize the need to take into account the influence of music, color and smells on the somatic and mental state of a person. It is known that the combination of the above factors can have different effects - tonic, stimulating, strengthening, restoring, calming, relaxing, etc. Therefore, the thoughtful use of music, color and smells can increase the effectiveness of the exercises performed, creating additional potential for the development of the child.

So, rhythmic, fast, loud music has a stimulating and tonic effect, similar to the influence of red, orange, yellow colors. On the contrary, slow, smooth, quiet music has a calming and relaxing effect, as well as green, blue, blue colors. It is very important to diversify your record library with a selection of recordings of natural sounds, which are available in abundance in stores today.

Relaxation can be carried out both at the beginning or middle of the lesson, and at the end - in order to integrate the experience gained during the game-lesson. The techniques you have chosen can be applied at any time when you see the need to relax the child, and sometimes to slow down his irrepressible energy.

Chapter 6
Don't rush lefty!

It is written: "In the beginning was the Word" -

And now one obstacle is ready:

I can't value the word so highly.

Yes, in the translation I have to change the text,

When my feeling told me right.

I will write that Thought is the beginning of everything.

Stop, do not rush, so that the first line

It wasn't far from the truth!

After all, the Thought cannot create and act!

Isn't Strength the beginning of all beginnings?

I write - and again I began to hesitate,

And again doubt disturbs my soul.

But the light flashed - and I see the way out boldly,

I can write: "In the beginning was the Deed"!

I.V. Goethe

In the beginning there was work, action, movement. And then speech was gradually born and grew out of this in the history of mankind. But that is not all. Ethologists have shown that speech mechanism in the evolution of mankind and each specific, really existing person based on a complex of interacting communication channels(olfactory, tactile, visual, auditory, vocalization, postural gestures). And for a full speech actualization all these motor and sensory processes must not only mature, but also go through a long path of mutual interweaving, interactions, and sometimes even intense competition.

Don't rush lefties! The totality of these most complex processes needs their ontogeny in a longer time than is usually the case with right-handed people. The power of left-handed children over their own mental ontogeny« practically ends where the very course of activity requires the inclusion of procedural, dynamic parameters. This is also due to the functional specificity of their brain.

It is clear that this manifests itself most clearly in movement and speech. After all, only these mental processes “work” outside of us. No wonder they are so closely related. Lefties have a hard time with everything related to the need to quickly switch from one process to another(or from one type of manipulation to another within the same process). But on such switches, as well as on the smooth, orderly unfolding of any process (perception of the surrounding world or reading, playing or writing), all our behavior is based.

Characteristically, these children very often demonstrate a specific "rollback" of speech development at the age of 2-3 years. Parents note that the child's speech at first developed well, and suddenly he seemed to be "numb": he stopped talking, gave the impression that he had become what he was in infancy. The same could be observed with various motor skills: he tied his shoelaces well (holding a spoon, playing ball, etc.), and then, as it were, suddenly forgot how to do it. Then these processes seemed to be leveled. However, their "trace" clearly reveals itself in a neuropsychological examination.

Outwardly, this manifests itself in characteristic "stuck" at the beginning of any type of activity, including verbal utterance, in constant search for words in spontaneous speech, a tendency to replace the necessary words with those close in meaning to them. In left-handed children, a relatively late debut of independent speech is observed, and in the future it often has a distinct accentuation: insufficiently developed, slowed down, stingy, there are moments of incorrect sentence construction, case correspondences, etc.

At the same time, the child almost always retains complete control over his own speech production, understands that he is speaking incorrectly, and strives to correct mistakes. Even from the expression on his face it is obvious (the conviction that has been created is confirmed by objective research) that his inner speech is much richer and brighter than his outer one.

This is confirmed by the fact that left-handed children, as a rule, have a very high level of conceptual thinking; they cope with all intellectual tasks much better than their peers. Just do not rush the child, give him time to “enter” the task, choose the best option for solving it, and only then evaluate his progress. He, according to the type of his brain organization, has the right to some slowness in the initiation of any motor process, including speech. His brain needs some time to start any activity unfolding in time and space.

So we come to one of the main zones of psychological vulnerability is left-handed. They have are very weak and, according to their very natural, brain status, dynamic, kinetic components of almost all mental functions and behavior in general are slowly formed. By the way, it is this circumstance that largely determines their well-known weakness: a tendency to stutter, various delays and failures in speech (and, more broadly, behavioral) actualization in any more or less stressful conditions.

Especially difficult for them are situations in which fast conjugated actions of both hands are necessary (especially if these movements are not synchronous). Often children complain that their arms and legs get in the way if they have to perform any difficult gymnastic exercise or dance.

True, even here, with age, they find "workarounds" automatically duplicating, literally copying someone's movement, memorizing it, and only then gradually weaving it into the general outline, for example, of dance. Do not rush the child if he cannot do several things at once, for example, draw something and listen to you: it is beyond his power for the very reasons described above. He can only focus on one thing.

Even left-handed adults sometimes complain that peeling potatoes and talking to someone at the same time is sheer agony for them, because they constantly focus on either the potatoes or on the conversation. In an effort to help little left-handed people, try to give them as many exercises as possible during morning exercises that would involve both arms or legs - for example, imitation crawl swimming or playing the piano. Work with them together each movement separately and only gradually increase the pace.

And the most competent and effective will be the presence in your life together of a neuropsychological (“physical-playing”) set of exercises, which it is desirable to perform regularly. It is best to start classes with breathing exercises, massage, stretch marks, which have already been described.

In a single scenario with these exercises, as already discussed in the previous chapter, it is useful and necessary to perform a corrective (preventive, developmental) neuropsychological block, including methods focused on optimizing kinetic processes in various systems (eyes, tongue, hands, etc.) . The ideology of their application is associated with the directed formation in left-handed children of those motor skills, in the broad sense of the word, that are based on well-functioning interactions between the subcortical and cortical systems, the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

In this chapter, we continue to discuss the complex neuropsychological method of “replacement ontogenesis”, emphasizing that part of it that is most focused on correction and habilitation of speech processes in their interaction with other mental functions and systems. Naturally, the described neuropsychological cycle is presented here as a whole, as an ideology. It is by no means exhausted by the methods given in the previous and this chapter. Anyone who seeks a more complete study of this issue can be recommended to refer to well-known literary sources, which (besides their scientific and applied value) contain extensive methodological and illustrative material.

The first step towards the intensification of speech development should be the formation, correction and prevention of its basic level, which are impossible without the appropriate optimization of movement, perception, memory and the elimination of many unfavorable signs (hyper- and hypotonus, synkinesis, pathological rigid bodily attitudes, etc.). ). All of the above in children is primarily a consequence of the same neuropsychological radical: insufficiency of subcortical formations of the brain, which secondarily leads to a delay, distortion and / or disruption of the ontogeny of interhemispheric interactions.

Many of these problems of your child, I hope, have already become less acute: after all, you are mastering with him the neuropsychological complex described in the previous chapter. Let's continue our discussion.

The expansion of the sensorimotor repertoire of the speech apparatus, which always begins with massage exercises, is well developed and widely described in the speech therapy literature, so we will list only a few of the relevant exercises. Moreover, the author's program of speech therapist T.N. Lenina "Dolphins", which integrates all the necessary types of neuropsychological and speech therapy influences:

Opening and closing the mouth, keeping the lips in a smile with a closed mouth and bared teeth; stretching the lips forward (left-right) with a tube; alternation of the positions of the lips: in a smile - with a tube - calm;

various movements (forward-backward, right-left, circular) with the jaw and lips folded into a “tube”;

The tongue is wide, narrow, "tube", "coil"; language - “sting of a snake”, “watch”, “swing”; the alternation of all these positions and movements of the tongue;

Movement of the tongue along the outer and inner surfaces of the upper and lower teeth; deep into the mouth - to the front lower incisors; licking lips in different directions; imitation of clicking, hissing and clattering.