My heart feels like a stone slab, cold and heavy. I don't have the strength to carry this burden. What to do when longing covers? How to deal with apathy and despair?
My heart is sad and dank, as it happens in autumn in slush. Like nature frozen in anticipation of hibernation. Cold. Yearning. Loneliness. Hopelessness and emptiness. I don't want to live. Feeling of sadness. It seems that all the best things in your life have already happened. And nothing further is expected. Only sad sadness. Routine. The rustle of days going nowhere.
My heart feels like a stone slab, cold and heavy. I don't have the strength to carry this burden.
What to do when longing covers? How to deal with apathy and despair?
How to get rid of melancholy, depression and depression, reveals the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Feeling of longing: why does it occur?
Longing does not occur in all people. System-vector psychology explains that only the most emotional people, the owners, tend to fall into a state of longing. It was their nature that endowed them with the widest palette of feelings and emotions, an exceptional emotional amplitude - from exaltation to, from joy to light sadness. Their emotions are mobile, they can change several times a day, when a person literally swings from a short-term emotion of delight to longer bouts of longing. Consider why longing arises and how to get rid of longing.
For a person with a visual vector, it is vital to love. This is their purpose and the daily work of the soul. Love brings incredible fulfillment to a person with a visual vector, this is a deep feeling that fills his life with meaning.
Longing from separation from a loved one
Being alone, the viewer is also immersed in fears and gloomy forebodings. After all, fear is the root emotion in the visual vector, this is the first spark from which the great fire of love can flare up, which is stronger than fear. Love is nothing but fear for another person, concern for his well-being. Love is when the life of another becomes more important than your own.
True love is always bestowal, it is a desire to bring joy to a loved one. Giving feelings to another, you yourself experience incredible happiness! And when love is overshadowed by a feeling of longing, it is more appropriate to call such a relationship. If you want love from a person and die without it, you become dependent on his presence, you are afraid of losing him - an inexpressible longing arises.
Longing for a loved one
Unrequited love, love addiction or a long separation cause melancholy. This longing is heavy, inescapable, painful. Longing mixed with anxiety - how is he and with whom? What's wrong with him now?
Such anxiety and longing does not stop, even if there is an opportunity to call or meet. As long as there is contact, a person with a visual vector is calm and joyful, but as soon as he is left alone, longing falls upon him. This longing is quite understandable: fear is rushing about inside him and looking for a way out - an unconscious, unspoken fear for his life, a fear of being left alone. This fear can take the form of any fear, any phobia, but it is based on the fear of death. Fear that your life is over. And then someday you will leave, and nothing will be left of you. Fear that someday you will leave and you won't be able to take anything with you.
Love or longing?
It is a person with a visual vector who is able to experience the most beautiful mutual love, but if his love remains unrequited or turns into addiction, it is he who suffers more than others. He is overcome by longing, hopelessness, sorrow, he does not know how to get rid of longing. This love addiction, which causes him so much pain, is subjectively perceived by him as love, as an incredible value, as the best thing in his life. He wants to get rid of longing, but at the same time he keeps his emotions on the object of dependence and cannot switch.
Sadness and depression
The feeling of melancholy in a visual person is very heavy, inescapable. Especially for a person with an anal-visual bundle of vectors, who considers himself monogamous. If once his relationship ended unsuccessfully, he remembers his affection for a long time and cannot start a new relationship and, as a result, cannot get rid of longing.
However, this state can still be overcome, the main thing is to know how. Communication with other people is the best way to overcome fear and get rid of longing, it can literally revive you. A person with a visual vector is transformed, becomes emotional, lively, cheerful. People with a visual vector never have real heavy ones, they tend to quickly switch from one emotion to another, longing covers them for a short time, and then they are again included in the active cycle of life - now they have new plans, now they help others with some business, find new friends.
But this is not the case with a person with.
The soundman doesn't need anyone at all. He does not experience vivid emotions, so visual longing is alien to him. Loneliness for him is not a prison or a cage, it is his natural state. Look at a person who seems to communicate, but at the same time remains somewhat detached, thinks about his own all the time. Loneliness in the crowd is his usual state. He does not seek opportunities to be in the spotlight, he does not care that others cannot understand his thoughts. He fully feels all the frailty of this world.
Sound engineers are concerned with abstract questions about God and the meaning of life. They want to know who the Chief Architect of this world is and why he created everything this way. In silence, they listen to their own thoughts in the hope of hearing the breath of the Universe and finding the solution to the great mystery of life, to remove the cover from its incomprehensibility, to comprehend the highest Intention.
And when the nights go by without answers, not even melancholy settles inside the sound engineer, but a painful emptiness, a feeling of complete hopelessness and futility of all efforts. He feels like a fish thrown ashore without a life-giving drop of meaning - the meaning of life. This is how depression sets in.
In one person, both a sound and a visual vector can be combined, then outwardly emotional and sociable inside, he may feel a lack of meaning in life - a state of hidden depression. Such a person can experience the whole palette of shades of visual states - among them are fear, and longing, and joy, and sadness. But at the same time he will be inclined to philosophize and think about eternity.
Longing and loneliness: what to do
When longing and loneliness, despair and emptiness rolls in, sometimes it seems that nothing will help you. Training System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan helps to understand the causes of longing, hopelessness and depression. And this awareness changes states, allowing you to get rid of longing. A person understands what kind of desire in him yearns to be filled, and knows how to fill it.
How to get rid of boredom
You can relieve anxiety and deaf longing if you give all your emotions and feelings to other people. Longing is cured only by love - a mature feeling for another person, where there is not a drop of dependence, not a shadow of doubt, not the slightest fear. Love that will change your life and get rid of loneliness. After all, love and compassion are not thoughts endlessly wandering in a circle, but active actions aimed at caring for specific people. Give your attention to relatives, friends, acquaintances - and you will immediately feel better. The sadness will dissolve by itself.
Surprisingly, the answer to sound questions about the meaning of life and self-knowledge comes to us not when we think alone, but when we connect with other people, doing a common thing in striving for a common goal.
Many people who have completed the Systemic Vector Psychology training have managed to get rid of longing and hopelessness and feel the happiness of mutual love!
Watch and read
Statistics show that in winter a person most often falls into despondency, apathy and depression. Loses joy in life, thinks about the bad. How get rid of sadness and easy to go from winter to spring?
It is known that everything has its time. So there is a time to cleanse, and there is a time to be filled. Autumn and winter are the time of purification. And spring and summer are the time of filling.
That is why in winter it is often dreary and we want the sun, and in spring and summer it is so easy and joyful for us to live.
Winter is the period when the goddess Mara rules, which sends us many spiritual trials, spiritual and physical. Having adequately passed all the tests of the winter goddess, a person is cleansed.
Cleansing and renewing is like peeling off old skin. Remember the fairy tales about this? First you need to go through certain obstacles, the actions you need to take, and then you will be happy.
And Ivan Tsarevich went through his trials in order to find his beloved, and the Frog Princess baked, sewed and danced in order to find her feminine happiness.
Therefore, if a person has not started cleansing in time since autumn, then in winter the “disease”, that is, the spleen, will certainly cover him with his head.
If a person has done a good job sincerely, has let go of all the traps and resentments, has built his tasks and goals for the next year, then in his life comes spring renewal and joy abides in his soul.
Who is to blame, or what to do?
It is good for those, you say, dear readers, who know the laws of nature, and even live according to these laws. Like, in the winter to clean ...
What if it's taken? If the dragonfly sang red all summer, and then winter came? If such an unearthly longing has already attacked that you don’t want to do anything, and the good world is not sweet, things are not joyful, and desires have completely disappeared somewhere all at once! What to do in this case?
The answer is simple actually. Of course, you can close yourself within four walls, do nothing, feel sorry for yourself, and slowly but surely, I would say, with snail steps, move towards the end of such a not joyful and unhappy life.
And then be reborn and… hey! Our song is good, start over!
And, as you, dear readers, have already understood, it is fun to walk the same life path again with uncompleted, and often aggravated tasks from a past life, and all this is fun, or again sad, to unravel.
And there is another option. It's easy to understand that you can't get away from your life programs. You still have to solve your problems. Not in this life, but in the next. Therefore, it is better to quickly resolve everything, speaking in the language of the youth, stop moping and continue to live in good health and excellent mood.
Jokes are jokes. But in fact, when a person becomes discouraged, when he constantly wants to cry and his soul is torn from pain and suffering, when everything inside screams “I can’t do this anymore”, a person really has very little strength left to cope on his own.
At such moments, it is important and vital to tell your family and friends about What do you feel, What are you thinking about. And ask them for help.
If you still see a small, even a very tiny straw ahead of you, which you can grab onto and heal from despondency and depression, then gather all your will into a fist and ... grab it decisively!
How to get rid of despondency. 11 ways to wake up
Before listing the list of saving “straws” for getting rid of despondency, I want to say the following.
However, it will be more effective to gradually add the next to one perfect action, and then the next. Until you start thinking for yourself OWN ways to get rid of despondency.
It will also be important to note that depression, apathy, despondency, melancholy, unwillingness to do anything, unwillingness to live are all signs of spiritual illness.
This is a sure sign that you do not have life goals, you do not know where to go next. Life is like a fog. Or you do not live your life, you do not achieve your goals, but those imposed on you, you do not want your desires.
Take time for yourself to reflect: what is my meaning of life, why do I live, what, in my opinion, is my purpose.
If you want, you can use the help of relatives, ask them about your talents and skills. They will cover the answer to what you were born for and what tools you have to fulfill your destiny.
Look for reasons why you live. Seek and discover.
May the force be with you in this endeavor. And generally speaking.
Let's summarize
So, dear readers.
As you can see, there are enough ways to get rid of discouragement. In truth, the most difficult thing in this work is to force yourself to overcome "weakness" and impotence and do something. But everything is possible.
The most important, if you feel that you are falling into despondency, you should not succumb to this feeling. Drive him away before it's too late.
Getting out of a deep ditch is more difficult than getting out of a small hole or, walking and clinging to a bump, keep on the move.
Come up with your own ways getting rid of despondency, apathy and depression. By the way, you can assign yourself awards for the work done, give out prizes. Negotiate this with your imagination.
Remember, if you have at least one ray of hope that everything will be fine, if you have at least a drop of the desire to smile and feel happiness in your chest again, if your soul is glad for the light of day or a kind word for even a second, then everything is not lost!
Cling stronger and more confidently to the straw that life throws at you. Grab and hold on.
You see, the straw miraculously turns into a strong stick, then the stick then into a strong pole, and then you completely get out of the swamp to the shore and joyfully run through the expanses of life.
Then the long-awaited spring update will come!
Every day, with confident steps, go to your joy, overcome sadness-longing, do the most incredible actions for you - the main thing is that you feel like a happy person again who wants to live, create and enjoy life!
With love to you, dear readers!
PS: And at the end of this story, I want to give you the composition of Alla Pugacheva "Hold me, straw."
Alla Pugacheva Hold me straw. Listen
P.P.S.: And what ways of filling with joy do you use? Write in the comments, please. It is very interesting to me!
CLEANSING THE SOUL
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Longing can be called one of the most destructive states of the psyche. It is longing that gradually and imperceptibly destroys the nervous system from the inside, harmfully affects the general condition of the body. Despondency can lead to deep depression and even suicidal thoughts. Therefore, it is necessary to thoroughly study the causes of the appearance of melancholy and take immediate measures to eliminate it.
Even at an intuitive level, quite a lot of varieties of longing can be distinguished. It can be longing for a loved one, despondency caused by loneliness, longing for bygone days, dissatisfaction with life circumstances.
In certain cases, such a condition can be caused by chemical processes in the body. So an elementary lack of vitamins and minerals can adversely affect vitality and mood. In such circumstances, it is highly desirable to diversify the diet with foods containing tyrosine, B vitamins. Nuts, dairy products, bananas, avocados, herbs, as well as a variety of vegetables and fruits will be an excellent help.
If the causes of despondency lie in the psychological sphere, then it will be much more difficult to eliminate this condition. Let's figure out why longing attacks.
Practicing psychologists and psychotherapists unequivocally come to the conclusion that the state of melancholy arises as a response to long-term dissatisfaction with the outside world and with oneself. So, for years, suppressed aggression against certain irritants, ultimately results in a state of despondency and depression.
There can be many subjective reasons for dissatisfaction with life. This is a discrepancy between desires and reality, a feeling of unfulfillment, a lack of happiness in personal life.
Many people who suffer from anxiety attacks turn to doctors in the hope of curing this condition through medication or physiotherapy. Of course, doctors can help in this case. Medication and, in some cases, outpatient treatment will help reduce the intensity of symptoms, give the patient some zest for life, eliminate thoughts of suicide, etc.
Nevertheless, it should be extremely clear that the state of longing is achieved by forcing negative thoughts and experiences. Those cases when a person prefers to indulge in regrets and lamentations end in depression and apathy. Much more sensible would be actions aimed at changing the annoying situation.
If you have clearly understood why longing appears and are ready to fight it, then the first step on the road to recovery will be taking responsibility for your thoughts and negative attitude towards life. This should be followed by a change in those conditions of life that cause aggression or displeasure.
First of all, you should decide on your life goals. Honestly admit to yourself why you live or would like to live. Do not look back at family attitudes or public morality, because this is only your life! Well, if there are several goals. Touch all spectrums - health, career, personal relationships, creativity.
Don't be afraid to change your life. Even if at the moment you have an established lifestyle. It is this vital “swamp” that becomes one of the main causes of melancholy and apathy.
Get busy with something! Find an activity that you really enjoy. Whether it's running or studying marketing books, cross-stitching, or further education. Fill your day to capacity with interesting and useful things. May you have no time for depressing thoughts.
And most importantly, love yourself. Find the strength and understanding in yourself in order to realize that you are a person, and, like any representative of humanity, you are inherent in making mistakes and making mistakes, being emotional and thoughtless, combining good and bad qualities. Harmony with yourself is the key to a full, healthy life.
Live life to the fullest, do not encourage laziness and inaction. And then the question of how to deal with longing simply does not arise. Drive away the longing, make every day interesting!
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You can yearn for the past, present, future; for friends, rest, carefree time, past feelings, homeland. A person is capable of experiencing longing for anything. Where does this feeling come from? Can we control it? How to get rid of it? Let's figure it out.
Longing arises from feelings of abandonment, loss, misunderstanding, inability to talk, share one's views. Sometimes it seems that longing appears for no reason, we are “just sad”, but in fact at this moment we feel lonely, misunderstood, unaccepted, unloved, unfulfilled, unhappy, dissatisfied. We feel like we don't have something very desirable.
“I miss those times,” “I miss you,” we say. But in fact, we yearn for our comfort, peace of mind, well-being. Probably, in those times and with that person, our best moments of understanding and happiness passed.
Consequences of longing
Longing breeds fear, physically and mentally drains. “Sickening” and “sickening” are concepts closest to melancholy. We can be sick of the world, of ourselves. If a person feels sick, it means that he is doing something wrong in his life. There is nothing more terrible and destructive than rejection and self-loathing.
Although longing is similar to sadness, they are different concepts. It is sad for everyone, but longing overtakes only those who have not found or lost themselves, their place in life. Next to melancholy there is always a hope for the return of the previous conditions, habits, emotions, people, ourselves. Longing is preceded by sadness, and after longing comes a feeling of hopelessness and depression. It is important to notice this in time and start solving internal problems. The phrase “do not be sad”, of course, will not help, you need to act.
How to get rid of boredom
So, one who is busy with himself and his life, self-realization does not have to be bored or longing. Moreover, this should be aimed at creating personal well-being and bring appropriate results.
- You need not just to occupy yourself with something, not to miss everything, but to choose an activity that matches your interests, capabilities, and. It matters a lot in what you do. You may have to go through several options for this. But remember that the goal is to find your own, not try everything.
- Longing, like fear, fills the void. From what did it form in you? What do you want to fill it with? Emptiness and weakness are the ground for longing. Believe me, if you do not consciously fill the void with things that are useful to you, then “weeds” will fill it.
- Longing is the desire to return the past or find the non-existent, but the problem is that a person can only be happy in the present. By the way, if longing is turned to the future, then, as a rule, we are talking about parting with something, about disturbing thoughts. That's why you need to act. Here and now.
- Feel the longing, feel the whole spectrum of yours. No need to be afraid of her, run away in an illusion or wear rose-colored glasses. Hear what she tells you. Now rationally answer each question, analyze each of your thoughts. What worries and worries you? These are the unsatisfied needs that caused the fragmentation of the inner world.
- Write down on paper all situations (the very first conditions are especially important) when you felt longing or sadness. For example, after parting with a loved one or after a change of job, after an illness, a couple of kilograms gained, a loss of a habit, or the acquisition of a harmful addiction. Now, for the identified problem, write down the pros and cons that this situation has brought to your life. Perhaps you have more free time or the opportunity to test your willpower and grow as a person.
- Work on shaping Your goal is to learn to see not difficulties and obstacles, but opportunities. We need to stop asking “why?” and think "why?". Start right now. Write down how the changes that have occurred can help your self-development. Separately, write down how you can resist the circumstances.
- Movies and books are good, of course, but I don't want to encourage you to sit idle on the couch and distract yourself from longing. The goal is to qualitatively fill the void, which implies active actions. If books, then practical guides and manuals, scientific literature. If films, then documentaries. Although among feature films there are tapes with a very deep plot. Sometimes you decide to relax while watching a movie, but it turns out the opposite. In general, be selective, always see the ultimate goal, significance and value of what you are doing right now.
- Go in for sports. This is really a universal remedy that corrects appearance and, plus, gives hormones of happiness. Nothing gives self-confidence and tempers like playing sports. Choose the type you like and exercise regularly.
- Deal with .
- Learn not to dream, but to set goals and ways to achieve them. Longing goes shoulder to shoulder with anxiety. So what is it that worries you? Is there any point in this anxiety? Can you influence the circumstances?
- Longing is dangerous because it narrows the horizon to the object of longing. Of course, you need to calculate it, but then it is important to learn how to think broadly.
- Write on paper what can make you happy, what would be without melancholy. Implement this list step by step.
- Learn. Just one event cannot cross out all the possibilities and benefits.
- Give life individual meaning, admit to yourself your needs and satisfy them. , passivity - that's what feeds longing.
- Understand yourself, accept yourself. Determine the conditions for your own self-realization and self-satisfaction. For example, it is enough for someone to find love, and for someone it is important to work to their liking. Someone wants to do everything.
- Avoid idleness. “Oh, I would…”, “Oh, I would, but no money…”, “Oh, lucky others, I would be so rich and successful.” Each person is responsible for their own successes and failures. You have to take responsibility for your life. Become the strength of every person.
Longing is a sign of a kind of disorientation of a person, a weakening of self-confidence. Accordingly, in order to get rid of longing, you need to find yourself and your place in life, orient yourself in new conditions, make plans, set priorities, and go towards goals.
Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to give general recommendations. Each person, like his longing, is unique. In work, it is necessary to build on the individual-personal cause of longing, the reasons for dissatisfaction with oneself and the prevailing circumstances, a sense of failure. Each person has his own system of values and needs, and therefore the conditions for self-realization are different.
Such negative emotions as constant depression, sadness and deep sadness, longing in the soul cause a person to feel hopelessness and incredible self-pity. I want to constantly shed tears, complain about my unfortunate fate and arouse sympathy.
Today, many people know for themselves what it means to fall into depression and feel aching sadness and longing in the soul. Permanent depression is a serious mental disorder, although many take it for granted in modern life and are treated with special antidepressants. But these negative emotions cannot be cured with the help of pills, their presence indicates serious problems and an internal breakdown of a person.
In a state of depression, a person, as a rule, feels severe depression, he is overcome by sadness and melancholy and sad thoughts, a person tends to feel sorry for himself, he feels complete loneliness and his misunderstanding by others, he does not even want to move. A person who is depressed by longing and sadness can eat sweets (or drink alcohol) in order to somehow brighten up a bleak state. He can be tormented by bleak thoughts about how bad everything is, sometimes leading to thoughts of suicide.
A person can fall into deep sadness and a depressive state for various reasons: if an accident happened to him or someone close to him, problems at work, because of gloomy and cloudy weather, after watching a sad movie or just like that, he will take it and roll on his soul yearning.
Depression and eternal longing in the soul are dangerous for a person, they not only reduce his vitality and spoil his mood, but also constant depression and sadness threaten serious health problems. In addition to gastrointestinal disorders from constant dissatisfaction with oneself and life, heart problems from tormenting experiences and longing, insomnia from heavy thoughts, problems with the musculoskeletal system from unwillingness and fear to develop and move forward in life, constant depression also contributes to dependence on any means of avoiding problems (alcohol, drug addiction, food). Also, in the most extreme case, it leads to a complete unwillingness to live, a feeling that a person is dying of longing.
Why is there sadness in your heart?
Of course, you should not blame external circumstances for the occurrence of your depression and deep sadness. There are many reasons for these negative emotions, and all of them lie not in external stimuli (which are only an excuse), but inside the person himself. Of course, the reason to be sad is not in rainy weather outside the window, not in a quarrel with a loved one who poured a passing car from head to toe, turmoil at work or an unexpected pimple that popped out on his face. After all, someone easily perceives such "little things in life", but for those prone to a state of depression and longing, this is the greatest tragedy in life.
The information in this article is the result of the personal experience of its author, all articles are written based on their own results of using the system and are not intended to convince anyone of something.
This site is a personal initiative of its author and has nothing to do with the author of the Turbo-Gopher technique Dmitry Leushkin.
