How to find a way out of this situation. How to find a way out of a difficult situation

In a person's life there are many complex and sometimes hopeless, impasse situations. And often people do not know what to do and how to get out of the impasse.

Today, on the site of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.

Desperate situation - life's impasse

In most dead ends in life, people wind themselves up. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because. at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.

When a person is under stress, he thinks stereotypically, and on emotions - he is annoyed or depressed.

What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person's life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - it is also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.

He is under stress, depression or neurosis at this moment, therefore he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.

What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance for yourself that there are no hopeless situations.

You can always find a way out of the circumstances and make your choice.

Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
In order to prevent crises - to have as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - to make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your "comfort zone".

In other words, in order for you not to have serious impasses in life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.

"Constantly" is a lifetime. Then you do not have to look for a way out of the impasse - you simply will not get into it.

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation

If you have ALREADY found yourself in a dead-end, crisis situation, then you need to immediately get out of it. First of all, by relieving stress and changing the attitude towards the problem itself.

How to find a way out of a dead-end, hopeless situation?

You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psycho-training, deep breathing, or by changing your negative thoughts about the problem to more positive or neutral ones;
After you normalize thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
If you have few obvious choices, for example, only two, you will be able to rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, resort to help ...

Help in a difficult life situation

When people cannot get out of life's impasse on their own - they are under stress, depression, "on the nerves" - then professional, psychological help is needed in crisis situations.

After the removal of neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.

Consult online psychologist-psychoanalyst Matveev Oleg Vyacheslavovich

From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem to us either intractable or insoluble at all. In such cases, having despaired of finding a way out of the existing situation, we are especially in dire need of an objective and sober view from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us this only path, the thread of Ariadne, tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

We very often entrust this responsible decision to our relatives or friends. This has its advantages. First, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their "outside view" will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply do not know who else to turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a decision are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will turn out to be the best - if only because they do not know the whole depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. This is known only to you. But what then to do in such cases?

There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know it. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if it’s hard for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that were not in the usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we need to take a paradoxical path: to make it look like the problem has a solution, just as in school textbooks in physics and algebra all the answers to the tasks are given. All you have to do is find the relevant pages containing all these solutions and select the relevant answer. And in order to find those pages with answers to all our questions, we will need the so-called wise man technique: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex problems of life to a minimum.

The wise man technique is performed only once, and after that you get answers to any, the most difficult questions of life. However, for this to actually happen, the technique must be done very thoroughly and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image further accompanies you as a talisman. It will be like a genie that you can call out of the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him about it.

How is a wise person created? The imagination of a person is so strong that he can come up with almost everything that you can imagine. If you want to imagine for a moment what a pink tree will look like, then you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, sing their motive to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see the picture and hear how it can sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes some sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we present pictures, we hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.

In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You do not need anything supernatural and amazing imagination. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange-colored jeans and his hair is dyed in a viscous blue color, then I will not be surprised at all. Because your wise person can be anything. He can be with or without a beard, it can be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, conversely, very young. If only he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of \u200b\u200bwisdom and enlightenment.

It may take you several hours to create a wise person. Do not feel sorry for it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend looking for this or that solution. It is best if no one bothers you during these hours, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise man. If you have found such an opportunity, you can proceed directly to the implementation of the technique.

Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Get it all ready and then try to relax. Nothing needs to be done, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember some of your past experiences, and this will be easy, because you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember a few times in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was successfully resolved? Speak also to yourself about your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with in order for everything to fall into place? As soon as you remember this and say it, mentally put a tick or a cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on their palms to remember, and move on to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: "I did this and that, and my problem such and such was successfully resolved." Or: "I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place."

Step two. There are different types of wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Someone is convinced by a beard, someone by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of certain details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Maybe he even reminds you of someone? How would his voice sound? Fantasy boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a sheet of paper, fixing its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you can even draw a little. You should also decide where to meet your wise person. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, then just think about how it would look if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise person will look like.

At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise person. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not spare words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

Step three. After you can imagine your wise person whenever you need to (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), return to your list of those cases and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add one more such situation to this list. It will be easy, since we find a lot of similar decisions in our life. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt immediately after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or take a supine position. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present. Focus on it for a minute, that will be enough. After that, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears before you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

As soon as you ask a question to your wise person, you will instantly receive an answer. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you got. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that contains the answer to your question. You just have to understand what the wise person wanted to say by giving you this information.

In the future, during repeated meetings with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this it is quite enough for you to simply ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then, when asking your questions, you just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet, you do not hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Do not forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.

There are no restrictions on meeting a wise person. You can turn to him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream that you had. In a dream, you can get very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thank you to your wise man, whom you will meet very soon. I thank him for listening carefully to all this.

Today we will talk about situations where there is no point in living and about the people who found themselves in them and made a fatal choice, as well as about those who continued to live.

What situations can be called hopeless or those in which people lose the meaning of life? The criteria for hopelessness depend on several factors. From the personality of the person himself, from the intensity of experiences, internal and external causes of the difficulties that have arisen.

There is a fragile nervous system, when a traumatic event causes a stupor or hysteria a little more than usual, there is a strong nervous system, when a person accumulates everything in himself, holding his nose up, and then one failure becomes the last straw ...

The intensity of experiences is associated not only with the personal characteristics of a person, or with objective external problems, but also with a person’s attitudes. For some, the loss of a highly paid, prestigious job is one of the main losses of life, for another, the loss of a loved one will be similar ... A series of failures makes someone stronger, but finishes someone off. And the one whom a series of failures made stronger in his youth - in old age, a newly appeared black streak can lead to a state of depression.

We will talk about serious problems, and not about the whims of teenagers who confused reality with the game and completely absurd cases when people came to despair because of nonsense. I doubt whether the suicide of a 17-year-old girl “tired” of life, who had everything: appearance, loving parents, friends, health, a good financial situation thanks to her parents, was really a hopeless drama, but she was simply attracted by black butterflies in the night against subtle sadness after another hookah smoking ... And this black hole, having grown from a grain, poisoned the soul and led to tragedy. The reasons for leaving are either oversaturation with life, depreciation of life, or mental problems.

But it is precisely such stories, when people seem to have everything, both from the subjective and objective side, without separation from loved ones, losses, debts, problems climb into the noose - there are more. Psychologists call one of the versions of this behavior

the growth of cities, high-rise buildings, faceless offices, the reduction of natural areas. It seems to be an absurd reason - urbanization, but if you look at it, everything is natural: a person is lost in the chaos of soulless gray anthills with floor-to-ceiling windows, where everyone becomes a cog in a system that fights for empty goals. Residential buildings in densely populated areas are planted like mushrooms after rain: one opposite the other, in a bunch, sometimes there is only one playground for five 20-story buildings, one tree per quarter.

In this collection of fragile stone skyscrapers, the connection with nature is lost, a person often feels worthless, small, lost. And those who grew up in such conditions, and almost did not know a different life, live with an understanding of the normality of the fact that a soulless city is the whole world. This already forms in their character an easy attitude towards the devaluation of life, indifference to the death of their own and their own kind, since human life has long merged with the stone wall of another skyscraper.

Do you know the city of Shanghai in China? The dirtiest city in the world, filled with tall buildings, towers, shopping centers, smoky, filled with factories, industries, cars. And also in China, the highest suicide rate in the world ... Strange coincidence, don't you think??

The percentage of depression, mental disorders increases significantly in recent times. And both situations deserving sympathy and antics due to whims occur against the backdrop of urbanization, the depreciation of life, which doubly aggravates the situation of both.

And there is another trend - the people actively accuse others of being weak-willed, but more and more often each of us finds himself in the position of those convicted by us yesterday ..

I analyzed the reaction of the “public” to several sad stories that have happened over the past year. And below I will tell about the results. The public is, of course, viewers and observers of the Internet.

The mother killed herself and three children. The beginning of spring, the pre-election euphoria, did not actively make this case public. That did not stop people from washing the bones of victims, potential perpetrators for a couple more weeks on the Internet.

The first reaction after the news of the incident: people write that they are shocked, they say, how could they take babies with them to the Other World, they blame the government for having brought the people to lack of money, emptiness, loans, debts, that the mother probably despaired, could not feed the children.

A little later, new details come from neighbors, verbose, talkative relatives, friends, acquaintances, who for some reason did not help the woman during her lifetime, but revived after her death. She was recently divorced, she was about 40 years old, her ex-husband was the same age. He found a mistress much younger, gave birth to a child, sued his ex-wife in order to take the children, while the mistress never saw them with her own eyes.

The mother seems to have despaired, life lost its meaning and decided to end her suffering by killing herself and taking her children with her so that no one would need them.

At the same time, the family was not a beggar: a large apartment, relatives helped, the children were well dressed.

What really pushed the woman to this step - we will never know. But this is not necessary, it is more important to understand that not only specific thoughts, actions can push a person to a fatal choice, but also an affective dead end, when in an instant everything seems hopeless, final and the only way out is death. Psychiatrists also call this state narrowing of consciousness.

In another period of life, the same person copes with difficulties to the envy of all enemies, and in another period, it seems that he breaks down and admits the thought that he will not be able to cope. This snowball winds up and one little thing becomes fatal.

Forensic psychiatrist Vinogradov (often his opinion is shown in stories in people who have committed resonant crimes) calls one of the reasons when a mother kills children - hatred for her husband (former or present or just the father of children). And in children, she wants to kill the image of her father, to avenge him for everything through the murder of children. She can be calm, accumulate everything in herself, restrain herself, holding a grudge against her husband, enduring his negativity, but at some point her patience bursts and the state of passion covers everything. Either this is not an affect, but a cold disgust for her husband, children who are from him. At the same time, very often such mothers themselves cannot kill themselves.

Another reason: the mother could love the children, but at some point they began to interfere with her .. to arrange a personal life and the like. And she takes out all the accumulated evil on them.

Situations when mothers leave with their children themselves - others for motives ... Revenge on the ex-husband can also be involved, but also humanistic motives, they say, no one will need children without a mother. Or the whole world of the mother collapsed after some terrible events for her (the house burned down, the war, the betrayal of her husband, his death, etc.) and she, not wanting and not finding the strength to experience this grief, understands that life will never be like before.

And a woman who is in a state of a broken psyche and depression is not capable of living in a new way, therefore she sees the only way out is to kill herself and those who formed the basis of her world.

The Internet, social networks give people the opportunity to get bread and circuses sitting on a comfortable sofa without leaving home. And often those who condemn the same desperate mother do it because there is nothing to do. What kind of versions were not put forward by the people in a couple of days, as soon as they did not condemn her, they did not pour mud on her.

And only an adequate person will be able to understand that in such situations it is not necessary to judge by the first intuition ... And she may not be sick, but simply at some point believed in the illusion that there is no way out. Perhaps if she had survived for some time, all yesterday's circumstances would have seemed absurd and unworthy of her to say goodbye to life because of them, but she did not survive. And it's her choice...

Or another situation. A woman's husband dies and the house burns down. Three children remain in their arms, they live with their mother in temporary housing, they are trying to restore the old house, the mother works three jobs, but there is still little money, there was no help from the state. The eldest son, due to the lack of male upbringing and other problems, began to run away from home, to hooligan, he was registered in the police room, and the social services took care of the family, which at one point seized the children from the woman. The mother was so desperate that she roared unrestrainedly, and then she simply committed suicide, because she did not see life without children.

And even here, couch commentators reproached the mother for weakness, for not having endured temporary troubles and did not continue to fight. And where was everyone when she was alive and the family could be helped? Where was the same state, why didn’t they allocate a house to the family? Why didn't they help financially? The mother is not an alcoholic, she took care of the children and loved them. Why do our social services sometimes do not help the family, but finish off normal people, drive them to suicide? What did they achieve in the end? Are the kids better now? Without a mother and in an orphanage, with life-long psychological trauma, complete orphans?

In this situation, the mother, who experienced a series of severe psycho-traumatic events (the death of her husband, the loss of a home) and lived in difficult conditions (three jobs, her eldest son ran away, reproaches from social services) - the removal of children was the last straw, there was an acute impulsive reaction to all the troubles against the background of exhausted state of the nervous system. Perhaps if someone supported a woman, she survived a couple of days, gathered her strength, she would go to fight, win back her children, but she simply broke down in an instant due to an impulsive influx of emotions.

Another woman came to the capital, fleeing her tyrant husband, undocumented, non-Russian, with two children. It is not clear how, but without documents, she got a job - washing floors, rented a room in a communal apartment. But the money was barely enough to make ends meet. She did not tell anyone about her troubles, mother and children were friendly. The woman was fired from her job, they were left without a livelihood. The neighbors in the communal apartment will later say that they did not hear complaints at all and that the family did not know without food, the woman was friendly, but reserved. They suspected something was wrong when the family did not leave the room for two days. They opened the doors, and there were dead mother and children. And a note with the words "there is no strength to live on, the hardest thing is when there is no one around and no one can help."

Sofa commentators also reproached the mother that she did not go to ask for help, did not try to fight. How does anyone know how much and how she fought? And to ask for help ... Here comes a man to ask for help, and they will also pour mud on him and send him to work without rest. Before my eyes, there was a situation when a family (mother, children, without a father) remained on the street. The mother is good, she took care of the children - they turned to the authorities - only standard phrases and replies in response.

Another situation: a mother with children lived in an emergency dilapidated house, cement was pouring from the walls and ceiling from huge cracks, the authorities were obliged to allocate temporary housing, then relocate the family to normal permanent conditions. The mother achieved resettlement through the court, so the mayor's office also began to appeal this decision, believing that the family could continue to live in the house, which is now literally collapsing.

Sometimes the media act and appeals to caring citizens (and the media need to be addressed many times), who themselves know what troubles are ... But the woman from our story may have been so intimidated by her husband, a tyrant, or by the society in which she used to be, that she did not believe anyone and I couldn't scream about my troubles...

Or a situation where people lose their families in an instant. For example, a daughter with her grandchildren flew to her mother and died in a plane crash along with her children. Her mother buried her husband a couple of years ago. How and why should a mother live? Usually, the state after the loss of a loved one is called post-traumatic stress syndrome, a depressive episode.

But here the syndrome is multiplied several times. Many in old age live for the sake of their grandchildren, children, and when they are all lost in an instant, life loses its meaning.

Or: once upon a time there was a family, a wife, a husband, two children, the husband took the children from their grandmother from a suburban village and at the turn into the city there was an accident - everyone died, the mother was waiting at home ... How and why should the mother continue to live?

And men lose their families.. I remember the story about Vitaly Kaloev, who killed the controller of a crashed plane with passengers flying on board, including his wife, son and daughter Kaloev. It always seems to me that men are easier to experience the loss of loved ones, because their parental instinct is less pronounced, but there are situations when men were also hard pressed.

Those who say that everything will be fine and we need to live on, knocking on the shoulder haggard from grief and tears, most likely do not even delve into other people's troubles and they do not care about this grief ... During such periods, you can only be close to a person. In a couple of months, when it becomes easier for him, he himself will decide to live on. And those who are completely alone in such tragedies very often decide to take a fatal step, because they see no way out, cannot endure the heartache from the loss of dear people, and no one is around.

It is very difficult to give advice from outside. In our ordinary state, it is impossible for us to imagine what a person experiences who has lost his family or who is desperate to achieve something, finding himself in poverty and tired of the blows of fate.

But still, if you try to survive acute periods of grief, at some point it becomes easier, a new meaning to life appears.

Believers say that Satan can push to suicide and depression, because he is a murderer, and by any means inclines people to sin, especially to such a fatal step. Despair and grief can and should be experienced - according to Christianity, nothing is worth dropping your hands and putting a noose around your neck. You can go to church and ask for help - after all.

Those who experienced great grief, overcame incredible difficulties, later, to the answer “why live on?”, They answered that then, in difficult moments, they sometimes lived out of habit, sometimes reassuring themselves with the thought that there are those for whom you need to live or relatives who have gone to another world would not like to see the unfortunate survivor.

And when the difficult moments passed, and it became easier - people said that life is worth living in order to help others overcome difficulties, to tell their children that the strength of the spirit is able to survive in "hell" and all these reserves are in a person, he can overcome a lot.

In the life of every person there are situations from which, it would seem, it is impossible to find a way out. In such cases, the main thing is not to give up and not lose confidence in yourself. To get rid of problems and stop the flow of failures, use effective methods.

Life is unpredictable. As experience shows, every person has encountered situations from which it is very difficult to find a way out. At such moments, it seems to us that it is already impossible to return peace and harmony to our lives. However, it is not. It turns out that in many cases a person invents problems for himself, which causes a feeling that a black streak has begun in life. If you're having trouble, don't get lost and depressed. Instead, pull yourself together and try to resolve a difficult life situation. Three simple but effective ways will help you with this.

Method one - stop the internal dialogue

Not always our thoughts are correct and reasonable. Sometimes the inner voice is our indispensable assistant, but in difficult situations we too often succumb to emotions. Because of this, it is impossible to make the right decision.

Before you pause your internal dialogue, ask yourself again:

What tools are available to me to deal with this situation?
Is the situation really complex and hopeless?
Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions?
Are my thoughts correct in this situation?
Is there another way to look at this situation?
Is it true that my situation is so terrible?
Do my thoughts help find a way out of this situation?

After asking yourself the above questions, try to answer each of them. After that, very often it turns out that the problem is just a figment of your imagination. In fact, your situation is not as deplorable as you think.

If you have come to the conclusion that there really is a problem, start looking for ways to solve it. By answering the first question, you will be able to find out what tools and options are available to you to deal with this situation.

Sometimes thoughts only bring us down and do not help us find the right way out. In this case, action is required. Perhaps, once again thinking about your problem, you are only delaying time. By answering the last question, you can summarize and proceed to the solution.

Method two - rely on life experience

Everyone has faced difficult situations at least once in their life. Based on life experience, you will be able to find the right solution to the problem both in the present and in the future.

In difficult situations, you can rely not only on your own, but also on the experience of loved ones. As you already understood, at such moments the help of others will not hurt you. You can choose a friend or relative as an adviser. You need to fully open up to the person and describe in detail the picture of what is happening. To understand the complexity of this problem, ask the interlocutor to be as frank with you as possible. Perhaps with the support and advice of another person, you can solve the problem.

If you do not want to share your problems with others, try to get the most out of your own experience. Remember: you may have had to deal with a similar nuisance before. Consider what advice you would give your friend if he were in your position. At the moment, the solution to your problem depends only on you, and the answers to the questions posed may be hidden in your past.

Method three - find the source of the problems

Environment, work, memories of the past - all this can be the cause of your problems. It is necessary to understand your life and understand what could have caused this situation. If you realize that there is a burden in your life that prevents you from moving on, you need to immediately get rid of it, otherwise difficulties will haunt you all the time.

Try to analyze the problem again and think about what led to its appearance. Sometimes the reason lies precisely in our environment: the friends we trust and with whom we share our experiences are sometimes not the ones they try to impersonate. In this case, their advice and help will only harm you. Sadly, in this case, there is only one way out - to break unnecessary ties. By getting rid of useless relationships, you can eliminate difficulties and change your life for the better.

Work is one of the common causes of our difficulties. Pressure from the authorities, the intrigues of colleagues, low wages can drive us into the most hopeless situation. Consider: maybe you are in the wrong place right now. In this case, do not be afraid to change your life and boldly go in search of a new job. It is likely that soon you will get rid of problems and discover new talents in yourself.

Sometimes we ourselves are to blame for our troubles. We make unnecessary acquaintances, waste time in vain and try to cling to the past. In this case, you need to conduct a thorough work on yourself. Learn to get rid of negative thoughts and make only deliberate decisions. Always plan your actions and do not let random situations ruin your plans. In this case, you will learn to control your life and be able to overcome any difficulties that come your way.

People tend to help each other in difficult situations. However, sometimes, without noticing it ourselves, we hang other people's problems on ourselves, because of which they automatically become ours. To avoid difficulties, find out

Instruction

Get rid of the victim complex. If you tend to blame everything and everyone for your own failures, then you should learn to take responsibility for your own life. The realization that only you can change it, independently choose the path that you will follow, make the only right decision, will help get rid of the psychological fetters that make you believe in your own helplessness and the hostility of the world around you.

Take a breather. Unpleasant news and events can unsettle for a long time. Panic, nervousness, irritation are unlikely to help make the right decision. Do not make any conclusions in haste, give yourself time to "reboot". Walk down the street, drink a cup of coffee or tea, eat a piece of chocolate - before you act, help yourself to calm down and relax a little.

Find out the source of the negativity. Try to be more specific about your feelings. Resentment? Anger? Fear of the unknown? These emotions are not constructive, and only interfere with adequately perceiving the situation. In any situation, remember that everything passes. And in a month or a year, today's difficulties will seem just everyday troubles.

Understand the situation. Arm yourself with a pen and paper, it is easier to structure thoughts on a sheet than in your own head. First, describe your situation. Then - write down what the worst possible outcome could be. Try to make peace with him. In most cases, knowing even the worst scenario is better than not knowing. Now fix on paper what result will be the most optimal for you. Having decided on this point, draw up an action plan that will help achieve a favorable outcome.

If the situation is such that you cannot predict its development, try, having outlined the likely scenarios and accepting them, just go with the flow. To distract yourself from sad thoughts, do something you love or allow yourself to relax. Remember that every difficult situation gives you invaluable life experience.

Tip 3: How to stay optimistic in a difficult life situation

Positive can be difficult to maintain in difficult life circumstances. When things don't work out in the best way, you need to find the strength in yourself to remain optimistic. There are several simple ways to do this. Work on yourself and don't give up.

Set the accents

Try not to focus on the negatives, but on the positives. No matter how difficult the situation you are in, there are sure to be at least some pleasant moments during the day that you should think about before going to bed.

When you focus only on the bad, you stop seeing reasons to be happy. It is worth shifting your attention to more optimistic moments and it will become easier to stay positive.

Remember what you have in life. Health, home, family, work, friends, pets or hobbies - all this is your wealth. Do not forget to thank life for giving you these blessings.

Set the mood

You can influence your own mood through books or movies. During difficult periods of your life, give up watching news and heavy films. Give preference to comedies. Read inspiring or relaxing literature, such as detective stories, humorous stories, or fantasy. Depressive romances and crime reports will only increase your stress.

Small pleasures will make your life more pleasant and give you an extra reason to smile. Physical comfort, delicious food, good times, relaxing massages, walks will help you stay optimistic.

Choose your environment

Carefully monitor what kind of people are around you most of the day. Your environment affects your life in general and your mood in particular. When you hang out with optimistic, upbeat people a lot, you get a boost of positivity. Conversely, spending time with negative individuals can lead you to complain, criticize, whine, and see things in a darker light.

act

Do everything in your power to resolve a difficult situation. Do not give up, but work on getting out of a predicament. Try, and you will have a reason to be proud of yourself, which means to be in a good mood. When a person does not realize his own potential and gives up, he already feels unhappy because of this.

In addition, thanks to your efforts, a difficult situation may soon change for the better. Then there will be no cause for concern.

Get rid of the negativity

Watch your words and thoughts. Don't let negativity show up in them. This is especially true for self-criticism. Remember to love yourself, not blame yourself. Think about your accomplishments and strengths. Praise and encourage yourself. Then it will be easier for you to overcome all the difficult moments on the path of life.

Portal for the student. Self-training