Polite refusal options.

There is a proverb that says that if you give a relative a loan, it means losing him. Anything related to financial matters often spoils relationships between friends and even relatives. In this article we will tell you how to refuse a person and not ruin your relationship with him.

How to competently, culturally and politely refuse a person a loan of money without offending him: words, phrases, dialogue

This can be done quite simply, but some people need to be rejected abruptly and in any way so that they lose their desire to come to you next time to borrow money. Usually these are people who often borrow money. Their main problem is that they simply do not know how to manage them and spend much more than they earn. The fact is that for such people to spend more than they earn, this is the norm. Therefore, from month to month they collect new debts. They can return them from a salary or advance payment, upon receipt of funds. But then, after a quick spending of the salary, they borrow money again. To prevent this from happening, simply refuse people.

Several ways to opt out:

• Say that you also wanted to borrow today, because you spent a lot on holidays and birthdays of your relatives.
• Say that you started repairs and tomorrow you are going to buy building materials, so you don’t have money.
• It is necessary to repay the loan or return the amount of money taken as collateral. You are going to do it tomorrow, so you cannot borrow money today.
• All the money is from the spouse, and it is difficult to beg from him or her.
• Say that you are going to travel to another country, so you yourself need the money.
• Say that you are going to buy an expensive fur coat or jewelry to your wife, so there is no money.
• Remind if this person has already taken money from you, but did not return it. Tell him that you will not give him until he returns the previous amount of money borrowed.

How not to offend a person? There are several ways to help you maintain a good relationship with a friend or relative, and at the same time refuse to give him a loan.

• Say that you can borrow money from a certain bank. Advise a specific bank that lends money at a low percentage.
• Say that you would be happy to borrow, but only now you yourself are really bad with money, so there is no way to lend.
• Offer the person help. For example, take him somewhere if he asks for money for a taxi, or give him groceries. Purchase a minimum of groceries or offer assistance with purchasing. Usually, eternal debtors who constantly borrow money want to get their hands on cash. Therefore, they reject all offers, such as how to give a lift or help with products.
• Advise a person on a site or an additional part-time job where you can take money immediately after doing some work.

A colleague constantly asks for help - how to politely and correctly refuse: examples of polite forms of refusal

There is a proverb that initiative is punishable. Quite often, people who help their co-workers at work are the most tired and do the most tasks. And not always those that were given to them.

Opt-out options:

• If you do not want to constantly do work for someone, learn to refuse. If a work colleague constantly asks you for help, do not abruptly refuse. Do it gently, say what you think or refuse in such a way that a colleague wants to feel sorry for you. Say that you have a lot of work today, you have a monthly report hanging on you, and you are likely to stay after work in the office to complete the assigned work.
• In addition, you can say that you took time off today, so you are interested in completing the work as soon as possible. Therefore, you cannot help, tell a work colleague that you have a lot of things to do today, since you didn’t finish it yesterday because you left earlier, I’m taking time off from work. Today you have a complete blockage and you will not be able to help in any way.
• Learn to say NO, because many people do not properly allocate working time. They often pass on their work to others. If you refuse several times, then most likely they will no longer ask for help. This will help free you from doing someone else's work.

In order not to offend a person, follow certain rules:

• Answer quickly. You don't have to wait until later to answer.
• Try to explain the reason for the refusal. In no case do not make excuses, just tell that you have a busy schedule and you are unable to do someone else's work.
• Offer something in return. You can direct a colleague to a specific resource or reset the report form you completed last month. Perhaps this will somehow help a colleague.

Be sure to complete your answer with the following phrases:

Unfortunately

I'm sorry that I can't

Thanks for asking me for help

It's a pleasure to work with you, but unfortunately I can't help you.

I really like to help you, but unfortunately this time I will not be able to

A friend constantly asks for help - how to gently and tactfully refuse: examples of polite forms of refusal

Many of the friends like to keep their girlfriends near them, who never refuse and try to help as much as possible. This is very convenient, but very often, if such people are refused, then the friendship comes to an end. Because they are selfish people. If you are tired of fulfilling constant requests, and as a reward to receive friendship, you can correctly refuse. After several rejections, a person will not want to be friends with you. If he is not a true friend, but uses you, then in this way you will get rid of a friend who is annoying you and you spend a huge amount of time and effort on such friendship.

If a person is really dear to you, you do not want to offend him, try to politely explain why you are refusing him.

1. I can't help you today because I'm busy tonight
2. I have plans next week, so I won't be able to go to the party with you.

If a friend asks you to take some thing to wear, say that you have washed it or that it has torn from you. But in this case, you will no longer have to wear it with a friend. You can also gently refuse if a friend asks you for some jewelry, or some of the things, a clutch, a bag. Say that you yourself are going to wear this jewelry today, so you cannot let it be worn.

How to correctly refuse a trip without offending a person?

Many company employees work with clients and spend most of their working time at meetings, as well as over a cup of coffee, discussing work issues. If for some reason you cannot come, or you think that this client will be useless to you, will not be able to use your services, you can politely refuse. In this case, it is necessary to say that you have a high workload and you will not be able to come. If, nevertheless, you think that in the future this person may become your potential client, write a few questions and ask the person to answer these questions, motivate by the fact that you want to better understand and explain what you do, what you are interested in.

If this is some kind of business trip, and the management did not find anyone better than to send you on this trip, and for some reason you do not want to go, you can correctly refuse. It is quite difficult to say no to management, but it is possible.

Options:

• Motivate this by the fact that you have children and there will be no one to pick them up from school or kindergarten.
• Tell them that your parents are sick and need to be looked after. You visit them daily.
• Remind your manager that he instructed you to complete the report by the end of the week, and unfortunately you will not be able to go on a business trip because of this report.
• You can cancel the trip if you do not have a passport or it is expired. This will work if you are sent to another country.
• If the company pays travel allowance after the trip, explain that you don't have extra money. You need to pay a loan or mortgage, you spent all the money. Therefore, you do not have extra money for the trip.

How beautiful, inoffensive, intelligent it is to refuse people their requests: tips, recommendations, examples

Of course, very often, after rejections, people do not want to communicate, or reduce possible communication. But you should not be upset, because you will have really good friends and decent acquaintances who are used to not using people, but to be friends with them. You should not refuse sharply enough if you feel sympathy for a person and plan to communicate with him. Try to be as correct as possible, benevolent, ask for forgiveness. Say that, unfortunately, due to financial difficulties, you cannot lend often.

Ask for forgiveness, and also say that you value communication with this person. If this is your good colleague who really often helps you, but due to circumstances you cannot help him, explain the situation. Say that you value his help, knowledge and would be happy to help, but unfortunately, in this situation you cannot do this.

Here are a few phrases to help you mitigate rejection:

• I see that it is not easy for you, but unfortunately I cannot solve your problem.
• I'm sorry this happened, but unfortunately I can't help.
• I really want to help you, but I can’t, because I have planned dinner with my loved one for tomorrow.
• Unfortunately, I am not able to say yes right now, because I will be busy at the weekend.
• I need to think, I can say later.

The last refusal option is only suitable for people who are waiting for an answer now. They cannot wait, so in the evening or the next day they simply will not apply. You can refuse using a compromise.

For example:

• I will help you if you help me.
• I'll help you make your presentation, but only on Saturday from 10:00 to 12:00. That time will be free for me.

You can also refuse diplomatically. Diplomats usually never say yes or no. They say: let's talk about it or discuss it.

For example, do not refuse abruptly, but tell me I can help you in some other way. Unfortunately, I can't help you right now, but I have an acquaintance or friend who might want to help you.

As you can see, refusing a person is quite simple. The main task is not to offend him. If you are interested in friendship, in communication with this person, try to refuse as politely as possible, or offer something in return. It is possible to offer your help in some other way.

VIDEO: How to politely refuse?

Should I learn to say "no"? Certainly! This skill needs to be developed until you feel free and confident. Many people get uncomfortable when they imagine they need to say no. But in fact, it is not difficult if you realize how stupid it is to waste your own life on the whims of others.

Can you learn to refuse?

Of course you can. This is a feasible task for any person. But in order for the refusal to sound unshakable, it is necessary to speak firmly and confidently. Then there will be no embarrassment and guilt, you can refuse without offending.

Our whole life is communication. People interact with each other, support and help. But sometimes a situation arises when the only right way out is to refuse the request. This is where the problems begin. How to refuse? Is it necessary to refuse at all, or is it worth putting other people's interests above your own? How to get rid of the feeling that you did not lend a helping hand? There are many reasons for concern.

Why are we afraid to say "no"?

External causes are different, but the root of the problem lies in the fact that a person has an internal imbalance, because he had to refuse help. This conflict negatively affects the emotional state and causes moral discomfort. First of all, you need to realize that you are not the epicenter of why your friend is in a difficult situation. It's not your fault that he needs help.

In order for the refusal not to bring internal disharmony, it is necessary to determine the motivation for which you do not want to fulfill the request, and evaluate how objective it is. This is the first step to victory. The next step will be to study the ways and tricks of how to politely refuse the interlocutor and not offend him.

If a person is unfamiliar

How to refuse? In this case, you don't have to worry at all. Just say "no" if the request makes you uncomfortable. To reduce the risk that further relationships will be severed, it is worth clearly and distinctly stating the reasons for your refusal. Strong arguments are the best way to maintain friendly communication. For example, "I can't do you a favor because I'm busy at work." If the person continues to insist, there is no need to make excuses, just repeat a firm “no” one more time.

A polite refusal, drawn up taking into account psychological subtleties, will allow you to say “no” in such a way that the addressee will not only not be offended, but will also become stronger in his desire for further cooperation.

From the article you will learn:

When and how polite opt-out forms are used

Knowing how to use polite forms of refusal when you cannot fulfill someone's request will always come in handy. Of course, in the workplace where you perform your professional duties, it is much less likely to fail. This is due to the ethics of business relationships, when both requests and the obligation to fulfill them are strictly regulated by the job descriptions of both the one who makes the request and the one to whom it is addressed.

However, circumstances may develop in such a way that you will have a certain freedom of choice. Most often, these are just such requests and proposals from colleagues which just go beyond the established regulations. But in some situations, a polite refusal may be required, even when the request is related to the fulfillment of what is included in your functionality, but due to workload you cannot fulfill it.

In any case, a one-word "no" answer is out of the question. You should use polite refusal forms so as not to spoil the relationship with a colleague or leader and, at the same time, make it clear that such requests should not be made to you in the future.

Psychologists advise using such simple but effective polite forms of refusal as:

1. Delayed decision- ask for time to think about the request, promise to let you know if you can fulfill it after, for example, checking your diary and business plan;
2. Explain why you will not be able to comply with the request- although you are not obliged to give explanations (if this is not a direct order from the head);
3. Anticipate the Request- if you assume that a request will follow, complain to the interlocutor before he expresses it, about how you are loaded;
4. Promise that next time you will fulfill the request- this option of a polite form of refusal still does not oblige you to say “yes” next time, especially when supplementing it with the condition “in case I have free time”;
5. “Mirror” the request of the interlocutor with your refusal- repeat those phrases with which the interlocutor is trying to convince you to fulfill his request, showing friendly participation and looking into the eyes of your counterpart.

EXAMPLE

An example of a polite refusal in a "mirror" form:

You: "Unfortunately, I won't be able to help you with the report after lunch."

Colleague: "I need to do it today."

You: "Yes, I know you have to turn in your report today, but I won't have time to help you."

Colleague: "But today is the last day for submitting reports."

You: “Yes, today is the deadline, but I am busy in the afternoon and will not be able to participate in the preparation of the report.”

A polite refusal can be used in a relationship with a direct supervisor or director. If, for example, he tries to load you with overtime work for the umpteenth time, try explaining that the greater the load, the less your productivity. Explain to him that during working hours you will be able to perform assigned tasks according to their priority.

To say "no" so that a person is not offended, one must be able to. For some people, this is a whole problem, they begin to "walk in circles", thus getting into an awkward position. But this skill can be developed and it is not difficult. The main thing is to know a few simple rules, adhering to which, you will no longer doubt how to politely refuse someone.

Why are we afraid to say "no"?

Our life is communication, we are constantly in contact with each other and help. But there are situations when it is inconvenient to fulfill a person's request. Then doubts begin, you are tormented by a feeling of guilt that you have put your interests above others. But, if you think carefully, they could fulfill the request, within reason, of course.

The root of the problem lies in your insecurity. Usually it is the insecure individuals who experience such difficulties. They forget that help is voluntary. It seems to them that if they ask, then they should drop everything and give up their principles and deeds. This is not quite the right approach, when you do not have the opportunity - you can safely disagree.

This in no way compromises you, does not offend the one who asks. You just need to be able to present a refusal. To do this, you just need to try a few times, and then a habit will develop. You should start with a small stock of formulaic phrases that can be used in common situations.

How to politely refuse a person?

The main rule of successful people is not to say the words "yes" and "no". They should be replaced by phrases that they will definitely let you know about the refusal and immediately explain the reason:

• "I don't want to do this";
• "I have no time";
• "I dont have an opportunity".

However, if a friend, boss, relative asks you, use other options, a reasonable “no” or a diplomatic one.

Here it is assumed giving reasons and suggesting a possible alternative:

• “I can’t do this because I’m working, maybe there will be a minute later”;
• “I will take your child to school if he is already dressed and waiting outside”;
• "You can repair the car, but on Saturday."

There are suitable words for all occasions, they just have to be intelligible and to the point.

How to politely refuse a man?

This is a common problem. It all depends on who you are. Is it just "sticking" on the street or is it a friend talking about his feelings, maybe a former boyfriend who decided to return.

Let's start with annoying strangers, it’s easier with them, you can safely lie:

1. "I'm married";
2. “Now I have no time, here is my phone” (give him the wrong number);
3. "Give me your number, I'll call you back."

If the gentleman does not understand, act firmly and confidently, but politely:

• “I don’t intend to meet and meet, is that clear?”;
• “I’m not in the mood to talk to absolutely anyone right now.”

With the former, you can speak more frankly, but without flirting, but seriously and intelligibly:

• “We had a lot of good things, let me keep only these moments in my memory”;
• “Let's not rush things, maybe I'll change my mind, but not yet”;
• “You are very good, it’s too much for me. I want to find someone less wonderful."

And a completely different conversation is to be with a friend.

How to politely refuse a guy to meet?

I don’t want to break the connection with him, but he is dear to you in this capacity. And yet don't go around in circles, eh speak directly looking into the eyes:

• “I love another, but I need you, try to understand”;
• “I’m not in the mood for intimacy right now”;
• “Maybe later, now I need to sort myself out.”

Try to avoid common mistakes:

• Do not waste time, explain yourself as soon as you see the need;
• Do not flirt, so you give vain hope;
• Be specific, explain clearly and understandably.

Perhaps you need to leave a friend for a while and not communicate. Your constant flickering in front of his nose will pull at the wound. Try not to catch his eye, let him rest and forget.

Original ways to say "no"

Sometimes nothing helps, a person does not understand normal words. We'll have to take a trick:

• Move on to talking about money. Ask a fan about the salary, where and by whom he works. Then express dissatisfaction with a small income or an inexpensive car. Sigh languidly, passing jewelry showcases;
• Play dumb talker, guys don't like that. Tell him what you discussed yesterday with your girlfriend about cosmetics, dresses, and a nice neighbor. Let's not put in a word;
• Openly ignore its existence. On a date, answer his questions at random, call your girlfriends and mom while walking with him in the park;
• Tell us what a big family you have: five children, a bedridden mother and an elderly grandfather. Nobody needs such a convoy.

One of these options will definitely scare an annoying man, there are no miracles.

How to politely refuse a customer a service?

Sometimes you come across such active clients that they simply do not let you work. They need to be able to say “no” without being rude or aggressive.

Use pull phrases, they will buy time:

• “Unfortunately, at the moment the specialist on this issue is busy, as soon as he is free, he will contact you”;
• “Yes, we understand your problem and will try to solve it as soon as possible. If it doesn't work out, we'll call you back";
• “Thank you for contacting us, we appreciate your time, so we won’t delay any more and will contact you with the results”;
• “Unfortunately, you are mistaken, our company does not do this, but I can give you the phone number of another company.”

Do not say "no" openly, otherwise the person will think that he was just rejected. Apologize, give him a couple of minutes, if possible - offer an alternative solution. The main thing - do not lie and let me feel an attentive attitude.

If you understand that you are experiencing difficulties in communication, start a few template phrases that will help you out in difficult times. Of course, they are not suitable for every occasion, but you will become more confident not knowing how to politely refuse, having at least something in service.

Video: gently and politely refuse

In this video, psychologist Igor Kolokoltsev will talk about really working ways to politely but firmly refuse a person, how to do it so that he does not hold a grudge against you:

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 6 minutes

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Every person is familiar with the situation when you really want to refuse to fulfill this or that request, but anyway, in the end, for some reason, we agree. We find for ourselves a very weighty explanation for this - for example, friendship or strong sympathy, mutual assistance, and much more. However, despite all these seemingly significant factors, we have to step over ourselves.

No one says that helping is bad! The fact is that not every help is for good, therefore, whether you like it or not, you just need to know how to learn to refuse .

Why it's so hard to say "no" to people - the main reasons

• It is often more difficult to say “no” in family relationships. We are afraid that we will be considered too rude, we are afraid that a child or a close relative will stop communicating with you. These and many other fears push us to make concessions and agree to fulfill the request of our neighbor.
• We are afraid of losing opportunities. Sometimes it seems to a person that if he says “no”, he will forever lose what he has. This fear is often present in the team. For example, if a guy wants to be transferred to another department, but he does not want to do this. He, of course, will agree for fear of being fired in the future. There are many similar examples, and each of us sooner or later encounters a similar one. In this regard, now many are concerned about the question of how to learn to say no.
• Another reason for our frequent agreement is our kindness. Yes Yes! It is the constant desire to help everyone and everyone that makes us sympathize and agree to this or that request. It’s hard to get away from this, because real kindness is considered almost a treasure in our time, but few people understand how difficult it is for such people to live. If you are one of them, don't worry! We will tell you how to say no correctly without offending anyone.
• Another cause of the problem is the fear of being alone. because you have a different opinion. This feeling drives us when, having our own opinion, we still join the majority. This entails an inevitable consent against our will.
• In conditions of constant stress, modern people develop a fear of conflict. It means that we are afraid that if we refuse, the opponent will become angry. Of course, this is not always easy, but this is not a reason to agree with everything. You should always be able to defend your point of view and your opinion.
• Neither of us wants to destroy relationships because of our refusal. even if they were friendly. Some people may perceive the word "no" as an absolute rejection, which often leads to the complete end of any relationship. You always need to be aware of how important this person is to you, and what exactly you are capable of doing for him. Perhaps, in such a situation, this will be the main factor influencing your consent or refusal.

Why does each of us need to learn how to refuse and say no?

• However, before delving into the methods of dealing with this problem, everyone needs to understand why sometimes you have to give up.
• In fact, not everyone understands that reliability can lead to negative results. The point is that more and more unfailing people are classified as weak-willed and all because they don't have the courage to say no. You must be aware that in this way you cannot win trust or respect. Most likely, the people around you will eventually begin to take advantage of your gentleness.
• Despite the fact that there is now a lot of literature on the topic of how to learn to say no to people, not everyone wants to deal with it. And, if you still found the time to read this article, it means that you are already starting to deal with it! Of course, no one says that the word “no” should be used often, since we all understand that if you use it often, you can easily remain lonely and unnecessary to anyone. Moreover, by saying a refusal, internally we are already preparing for a negative reaction from the opponent.
• To feel like a whole person you need to find balance in your life . Everything should be in moderation so that neither your principles nor the principles of others suffer. Undoubtedly, you need to help, but you always need to analyze the situation and act according to the conclusions. Most likely, the common phrase: “Know how to say no!” familiar to all of us. These words sit in our memory, but they will not begin to work until we ourselves realize the need for this.
• If we analyze our behavior and thoughts at the moment when a similar situation arises, then each of us will understand that before giving an answer to the interlocutor, we little weighing all the pros and cons . Sometimes we agree to this or that service contrary to ourselves and our plans. And as a result, only our interlocutor “wins”. Let's see why it is so difficult for us sometimes to provide.

7 Best Ways to Learn to Say No - So What's the Right Way to Say No?

Let's look at the main ways to learn to refuse people:

Each of us sets barriers for ourselves that prevent us from speaking directly. Most often, the asking person does not want to be deceived, he wants to hear a direct answer - yes or no. We can all understand how to say no to people, but this method is the simplest, most understandable and effective.

Now we are learning to say no together!