Every day we endure criticism from numerous people. Behavior, statements, appearance, etc. are subject to evaluation. And this evaluation is not always pleasant. If the meaningful views of a stranger can be ignored, then the statements of relatives or friends are sometimes perceived very painfully. However, we ourselves also evaluate other people. How to express your opinion correctly so as not to cause negative emotions?

Criticism and its types

Having an opinion and expressing it out loud is normal. That is what is called criticism. What matters is how it is presented. Constructive criticism aims to be useful, to point out mistakes and how to correct them. It is expressed in the form of advice, objective analysis, recommendations. Destructive criticism is also a way to give an assessment, but it does not carry any benefit. This method is used to make a person lose his temper and, under the influence of momentary emotions, abandon his plans.

Principles of constructive criticism

• Objectivity. Express your opinion, but do not pretend that it is the only true one.
• Concreteness. Focus on specific points, not on the whole work.
• Argumentation. Show what your assessment is based on, justify your opinion.
• Experience and practice. Examples from personal life are very revealing. Tell us how you avoided mistakes or corrected them.
• Professionalism. If you are well versed in the issue that you criticize, then you will be listened to. Otherwise, you risk being branded as an amateur.
• No transition to personality. Criticize the work, not the person, show respect for the opponent.
• Focus on the positives. Pointing out the shortcomings of the work, do not forget to mention its merits.

How to criticize

When evaluating the actions of another person, it is important that he hears what you have to say. Here are some rules for constructive criticism:

1. Express your opinion when you are one on one with a person. Respect your opponent, do not make his mistakes public.
2. Suggest solutions to the problem. Help with advice or deed, otherwise the meaning of criticism will be unclear.
3. Keep calm. The opponent will respond to aggressive statements with aggression.
4. Evaluate work in a timely manner. If constructive criticism is expressed after a long time, you will be considered a quarrelsome, vindictive person.
5. Alternate negative moments with praise. A person will feel that he is valued, despite the mistakes made. He will try to justify the trust and will not make such mistakes in the future.
6. Criticism is a dialogue. Let your opponent speak. Perhaps he could not influence the situation that led to the errors.
7. You can't criticize by referring to others. Be responsible for your words, otherwise you will be accused of spreading gossip.
8. When the causes of errors and solutions are found, leave this question. No need to constantly remind the opponent of his mistakes.
9. If the opponent is irritated and unable to adequately perceive your words, postpone the conversation for a while.

Scope of constructive criticism

Evaluating is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes even a very restrained critic can lose his temper and be overly emotional. But there are areas in which destructive criticism is unacceptable in any case.

The first relates to the leader-subordinate relationship. With the help of constructive criticism, it is necessary to correct the actions of the employee. Otherwise, the person will perform poorly and will have to be fired.

Another area is the educator (parent, teacher) - the child. Destructive criticism reduces the self-esteem of a small person. If a child is constantly told that he does everything badly, then he grows into a weak, insecure personality.

The third area is education. Constructive criticism of the teacher guides the student, helps to eliminate mistakes and gain new knowledge. A negative assessment has the opposite effect - the desire to learn disappears, knowledge is not acquired.

Examples of constructive criticism

How easy it is to express your opinion under the influence of emotions ... The result of destructive criticism is resentment and unwillingness to listen. But you can say the same thing with different words. Let's look at a few examples.

• “What were you thinking when you wrote the report? This is no good! Change everything immediately!"

Nobody likes a rude boss. It is better to say about the shortcomings in a different way:

• “Ivan Ivanovich, you are a good specialist, but the figures in the last column of the report are incorrect. Fix them please. I hope you will be more careful next time. Your diligence and responsibility are valuable qualities for our company.”

• “Why are you wearing that awful dress? It has a bad color and hangs on you like a sack."

After such a phrase, a quarrel with a friend is guaranteed. Better to rephrase:

• “I really liked the dress you wore at the weekend. It well emphasizes the figure, and the color to the face. And this outfit is too pale for you. Besides, you have a beautiful figure, and this dress hides it.

• “Ham! You can't connect a couple of words! You're talking nonsense!"

An argument in a work environment will escalate into a quarrel if both opponents are unrestrained. It's better to say:

• “No need to be rude. I think you should apologize. Don't rush to answer next time. You are too emotional. First calm down, consult, then express your opinion.

How not to respond to criticism

1. “I was criticized, so I won’t succeed.” Low self-esteem is the first step to failure. Even if the result of the work done turned out to be imperfect, this is not a reason to become discouraged. You must always believe in yourself, and criticism will help correct the situation.
2. “They spoke to me too emotionally, which means that I do everything badly.” What is important is not so much the form of presentation of the assessment as its content. Both constructive and destructive criticism can be expressed too emotionally. It's all about the person who voices their opinion. Here it is important to discard unnecessary emotions and hear useful recommendations.
3. “They criticize me. We need to respond urgently." An instant reaction to an assessment is not always good. If the criticism was destructive, the opponent spoke in a raised voice, then there is a risk that you will be drawn into this emotional state, and a quarrel will result in communication. It is better to take a break, calm down and think over your answer.
4. “If they criticize me, then they find fault with me.” See other people's evaluations as a help, not as a way to throw you off balance. Criticized? Not scary. Now you know what not to do, and do not make mistakes in the future.
5. "I don't care if they criticize me." The lack of response to an assessment is just as bad as an instant response. Think about what lies behind the criticism? Maybe you are in danger, and the opponent warns about it.
6. "I'm frustrated by the criticism so I can't do anything." Don't take other people's opinions to heart. Constructive criticism provides an opportunity to avoid mistakes or correct them. The main thing is to be less emotional when making a decision.
7. “They criticize me because they don’t like me / quarreled / they envy me ...” The search for motives can lead to the opposite result. While you are looking for the reasons for the criticism, the time for correcting errors will be lost. It is more important to understand what they say, and not why they do it.
8. “Everyone criticizes me because they don’t understand anything.” If different people give the same rating, think about it, maybe you are doing something wrong.
9. “They don’t tell me anything, so I’m doing everything right.” Criticism is not always explicit. For example, a subordinate or unfamiliar person cannot speak openly. However, some actions or words may be hidden criticism. It is important to see it and take action if common sense prevails in the assessment, and not emotions.

Criticize properly. But if possible, it is better to refrain from statements. Criticism can hurt and destroy good relationships.

Today we will talk about what is constructive and destructive criticism what should be attitude towards criticism, how to respond to criticism. Any person engaged in some business, or even just openly expressing his opinion, his position on some issue, will certainly be subject to criticism to one degree or another. Moreover, the more his path or his position differs from what the majority does or thinks, the more criticism he will hear in his address.

What to do in this case, how to respond to criticism? All this in today's article.

To begin with, a lot really depends on a person's attitude to criticism. For some people, criticism acts as an incentive for moving forward, for others, on the contrary, it is a destabilizing factor. The attitude towards criticism can greatly affect relationships with other people, and not only with strangers, but also with loved ones. And finally, there are many examples when a person suffered serious setbacks just because they did not want to respond to criticism. And, on the contrary, when people refused promising and successful projects because they were criticized.

Reaction to criticism- a very important quality for any person, no matter what he does. Attitude to criticism can lead to serious, both for the better and for the worse.

To figure out how to respond to criticism correctly, you first need to determine what type of criticism it belongs to.

Types of criticism. Constructive and destructive criticism.

So, let's look at the main types of criticism. There are only two of them.

1. Constructive criticism is an expression of one's opinion for the purpose of providing assistance. In this case, the critic evaluates your actions or your position, wanting to help you, to bring some benefit. Constructive criticism can be expressed in the form of an objective analysis or in the form of some advice, recommendations for improvement.

Consider the main signs by which you can determine that this is exactly constructive criticism:

– Objectivity. Expressing his opinion, the critic does not claim to be absolute truth, he emphasizes that this is his personal position, his opinion;

– Concreteness. The critic points to specific details or points that he questions, while not saying that absolutely everything is bad;

– Argumentation. A person who criticizes gives concrete arguments, substantiates his position, shows what his criticism is based on;

– Examples from life. Criticizing, a person gives specific examples from his personal or someone else's life, which confirm the course of his thoughts;

– Business knowledge. The critic himself is well versed in the issues that he criticizes (for example, he has a specialized education, experience, personal achievements);

– No transition to personality. A person criticizes, showing respect, does not get personal, criticizes not the opponent himself, but his actions or beliefs;

– Pointing out the positives. The critic points out not only the shortcomings, but also the advantages of your work or your position.

Constructive criticism allows you to see your shortcomings from the outside and correct them. With the right attitude, it can bring considerable benefits in any business.

2. Destructive criticism- this is an expression of one's negative opinion aimlessly, or for selfish purposes. In this case, the critic does not at all want to help the one whom he criticizes, he does it with some low goals or without them at all.

Let's highlight the main reasons for destructive criticism:

– manipulative influence. The critic thus influences the opponent in order to incline him to some action that is beneficial to him;

– Envy. A person can simply envy another person, and from this try to look for shortcomings in him and openly point to them;

– Feeling of self-importance. There are people who criticize for the sake of the process itself and getting moral satisfaction from this. This is also destructive criticism in its purest form;

– Non-standard thoughts, the path of development. If a person stands out from the crowd, thinks and acts differently from the majority, then there will be many who want to criticize him just because he is not like them. Such criticism is also not constructive.

Now consider the main signs indicating that this is precisely destructive criticism. Basically, this is everything that is opposite to constructive:

– Bias. The critic clearly demonstrates that everything he says is the unconditional, 100% truth, which cannot even be questioned;

– Lack of specifics. Simply everything is criticized, general, vague formulations are used: “everything is bad”, “everything is terrible”, “this is wrong”, “this is futile”, “well, who does that”, etc.;

– Clinging to trifles. The critic actively criticizes the most insignificant aspects that do not have much influence on the overall process or position;

– irrelevance. A person constantly and actively imposes his criticism, on his own initiative, when no one asks him about it, and even makes it clear that his opinion is not interesting;

– Transition to personality. The critic expresses his opinion not about actions and judgments, but about the person himself, and all this in a disrespectful manner.

Destructive criticism does not bring any benefit, but only harm. Its main goal is to unbalance a person, to force him to abandon his deeds or thoughts in favor of criticism.

Now that you know what constructive and destructive criticism is, let's look at how to respond to criticism.

How to respond to criticism?

First of all, I want to make a very important point:

If you do not know how to respond to criticism correctly, if you gladly accept praise, and perceive any negative assessment “with hostility”, it will be difficult for you in anything. In this case, criticism will hinder you in all your endeavors, spoil your relationships with other people, and make you an angry and irritable person. It is necessary to use constructive criticism for your own good, and draw conclusions from destructive criticism. You will be subject to criticism in any case, even if you do everything perfectly. It will not be possible to avoid it, therefore the main thing is to form a competent attitude towards criticism, to know and understand how to respond to criticism in a given situation.

The reaction to criticism in a literate person should begin with determining the type of criticism, that is, whether it is constructive or destructive. By what signs this can be determined is described above. So, consider how to respond to criticism.

1. Do not lose self-esteem and faith in yourself. Even constructive criticism should in no case be a reason for underestimating one's own self-esteem and loss of self-confidence.

2. Separate emotions from helpful tips and advice. Often, both constructive and destructive criticism can be emotional to some extent. However, really useful remarks, tips and recommendations can be “hidden” between emotions. When listening to criticism, immediately separate all emotions, let them pass by your ears. But on constructive comments, advice and recommendations - on the contrary, focus your attention.

3. Don't respond to criticism right away. Reaction to criticism should be deliberate. Often a person who is criticized, especially if they criticize emotionally and destructively, also falls under the power of emotions, responds in the same vein, criticism develops into a quarrel, relationships deteriorate. Who benefits from this? None. Therefore, it is better to silently listen to criticism, and if it requires a response, take a pause for reflection.

4. Use constructive criticism as a help. Since constructive criticism is intended to help, take advantage of it, use it to your advantage. That is, analyze and draw conclusions.

5. It is impossible not to react to criticism at all. Even if this is destructive criticism, you need to understand what caused it, perhaps some significant threat looms over you, and this is just the beginning?

6. Don't take criticism to heart. At the same time, when thinking about how to respond to criticism, try to discard all emotions. The fewer of them, the more you can accept.

7. More important is not the motives of the critic, but the essence of the criticism. It often happens that a person who is criticized, first of all, tries to understand why he aroused such interest, what relation the critic has to him, what he wants to achieve. But the essence of the identified shortcomings is much more important, especially if it is constructive criticism.

8. If different people criticize the same thing - this is an occasion to think. It's one thing when one person sees a certain flaw, his opinion can be subjective, but when different people talk about it, you should think about it.

And finally, a very important rule:

A smart and competent person engaged in self-development, striving for success and self-improvement, must be able to identify not only explicit, but also hidden criticism, and respond promptly to it.

For example, a subordinate will not openly criticize his boss. However, according to some of his actions or words, a competent boss himself should notice criticism, and if it is constructive, then respond to it.

I will end with this. Now you know what constructive and destructive criticism are, how to determine the type of criticism and how to respond to criticism in both cases. I hope that this information will be useful to you, and you will begin to apply it in practice.

I wish you success in all your endeavors! See you at!

What is criticism?

Wikipedia tells us the following:
Criticism(from fr. criticism from other Greek. κριτική τέχνη "the art of parsing, judgment") -

• identification of contradictions;
• error detection and analysis
• analysis (analysis), discussion of something in order to give an assessment;
• a negative judgment about something (in art, social life, etc.), an indication of shortcomings;
• research, scientific verification of the authenticity, authenticity of something (for example, text criticism, criticism of historical sources).
• feedback, discussion of something in order to express one's point of view

Constructive criticism- one in which a specific judgment or assessment is supported by justification (in order for it to somehow claim objectivity).

My "inventions" on this topic. I believe that constructive criticism from non-constructive is still distinguished by a number of criteria. For example, the reason why a person wants to express his, often negative, opinion about anything at all. So what could be the reasons:

In general, the Internet is what the Internet is for, that here you can say whatever you want, shit until you lose your pulse and expose your srach for constructive criticism. But srachas are usually full of emotions. So, what kind of objectivity is there for you?

Although any opinion of a person is already initially subjective. And only in cases where some approved criteria of "quality" have already been formed for certain situations, for certain objects, can we consider that there is something to build on. This, so to speak, to the question: "Who are the judges?".

I rarely meet constructive criticism on the Internet, mostly sracha. Well, here everyone chooses for themselves. How and with whom to communicate. But often the feeling of illusory impunity plays in the direction of the negative hero who lives inside us ... and many simply begin to "carry".
I myself stand for constructive criticism. In general, one can say that it is one of the engines for the further development of man. But only in the case when it does not immediately cause a desire to beat the battle on the head of the one who writes this to you :). A person is generally very vulnerable and many of us do not know how to perceive criticism. So if you really want to "get through" to a person, driven by benevolent desires to shed light on his dark head, then choose more polite wording ... so that a person can perceive it.
Of course, I myself am far from perfect and it’s not for me to teach others what and how. And I am often guided by emotions more than reason. My judgment may be biased, but I try not to offend people. And I think it's good.

Examples of non-constructive criticism:

• Are your hands growing out of your ass? Why such a clumsy design?
  
• Are you an asshole?
  
• You did shit because I think it's shit. And I'm an expert.
  
• This site is pathetic because it's blue, and blue is my least favorite color.
  
• You are definitely an asshole.
  
• You sing badly because Celine Dion sings better than you.
  
• Your job is fuckin' cuz you're stupidly annoying me. And you can do nothing at all, because you will always annoy me anyway. And everything that you will do will always be for me * uyney.

The post does not claim to be true. Therefore, you can write your thoughts, discuss and leave your examples of non-constructive criticism...
In general ... friends, constructive criticism is welcome;)
_

We often face unfair criticism. It is extremely difficult to take it calmly, because it is injustice towards oneself that a person endures extremely painfully. But responding to instincts with a scream is a destructive strategy. Then what to do? First you need to work on your instant reaction. Not automatically responding to an irritant is a sign of a very strong-willed person, but in our particular case, this approach will help to cope with unconstructive criticism.

Working on the Primary Reaction

Instant reaction to criticism is incredibly important - a lot will depend on how you behave. You can drag your opponent into a conflict or get out of the situation very competently.

Here are four steps to take in order not to say too much in response:

stay calm

It is very easy to lose your temper if you are unfairly accused and pour righteous anger on everyone, but at the same time significantly ruin your reputation. Therefore, immediately after you have been subjected to unconstructive criticism, take a break and do not think about anything. Take a few deep breaths and try to calm down. You will think later.

Find a pivot

Don't put pressure on yourself to find the most ideal answer, because most likely nothing useful will come to your mind at that moment. Instead, use the old trick: calmly repeat the criticism to this person to make sure you get it right. Look the person straight in the eye and ask, “So you mean that…” and convey their criticism in your own words. So you show him exactly how you took his words.

If his words really can be interpreted ridiculously, then the criticism was unfounded. However, be careful to speak to the point and avoid the temptation to exaggerate what the person has told you. For example, if he says that your sales system is producing mediocre results, in no case should you answer like this: “So you are saying that my sales strategy will kill the company?”. This response will put you on the defensive and show that you are in tune with . Instead, make it clear that you want to genuinely get to the bottom of the matter.

There are three ways to respond to unconstructive criticism:

• Respond aggressively and go into conflict.
• Keep silent, feel depressed and hold a grudge.
• Focus on your reaction and give the person back their criticism. You do not accept or reject it.

Expand both points of view

The tactic of objectively repeating and returning a remark can piss off the critic and cause him to back off. If so, then it's time to start a real constructive discussion. If you choose this method, then as often as possible start the phrase like this: “From my point of view ...”, and when you feel that the person is ashamed of his criticism and his pride is hurt, you can use this phrase: “We had a misunderstanding. It happens to everyone, don't worry. This way you will not only earn respect, but also continue a constructive conversation. Also try to see the situation from his point of view. Maybe he is right about something.

Stay Polite

If, however, after you have returned the criticism back to the person, it comes back to you, then it's time to buy some time for a good answer. You made it clear that you took the words exactly as they were intended. You can thank the person for the feedback, especially if it's your client. Do not show anger, because it can swing the pendulum.

Certainly it is very difficult. You always want to respond rudely and with anger to the person who unfairly accused you of something. However, this tactic has no advantage. The best way to react is not to be offended at all. Set yourself up in such a way that you react calmly to any criticism or even insult: “What makes you think that I'm a fool?”. Do not forget that if a person is furious, and you are calm, it is noticeable to the public and people see who is who in reality.

Unconstructive criticism from the boss

If your boss criticizes you, then the problem becomes more confusing. Set up a one-on-one meeting with him and listen to him. Are you sure that criticism is not constructive? If you still understand that he is right, draw the appropriate conclusions.

If you are sure that you have been accused unfounded, remain tactful and express your point of view. Try not to make excuses, just tell him what you think about it. It should be understood that even if your boss realizes that he was wrong, this may infringe on his pride. Therefore, try to smooth the corners as much as possible and let him know that there was just a misunderstanding. Never try to convince your boss that he is wrong. It's nobody's fault, it happens.

Taking the discussion in a constructive direction is the best way to deal with unfair criticism.

Increase self-esteem

Of course, after such criticism, your self-esteem already suffers. Even if you know that you did everything right and do not deserve such treatment, yours may go down. Therefore, first of all, take care to increase confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Remember that the flaw lies precisely in the criticism and perception of the other person, and not in you. You have not become worse, you have not received good feedback, which means there is no reason to worry. Practice and stay optimistic. Be in order to understand that your skills are good enough and criticism is unfounded.

We wish you good luck!

In our lives, we often encounter critical remarks, even more often non-constructive criticism. Of course, it is not easy to take it calmly, because it is precisely unfair statements in relation to oneself that a person endures extremely painfully.

Instinctively, we defend ourselves against criticism with yelling, anger, and other negative emotions, and this is devastating to us and our health.

Each person reacts differently to criticism. The reaction also depends on the upbringing of a person, on his individual characteristics of character, his life experience. But in the end, you can generalize all the reactions and identify three main ones. So, in response to criticism, a person can:

1. Show aggression, hostility and even go to conflict.
2. Keep silent, while feeling depressed and holding a grudge.
3. Focus on your reaction. You do not accept or reject criticism.

“An adversary who reveals your mistakes is more useful to you than a friend who wants to hide them” © Leonardo da Vinci

How to learn to calmly respond to criticism?

Your first reaction to criticism is indeed incredibly important. You can drag your opponent into a conflict or get out of this unpleasant situation very competently.

To properly respond to criticism, you need to remain calm

It is very easy to lose your temper if you are unfairly accused and significantly ruin your reputation. Pause and take a few deep breaths, try to calm down and not think about anything. You will think later.

Do not look for ideal answers to criticism, because most likely nothing useful will come to your mind at such a moment. Instead, calmly repeat the criticism to the person to make sure you get it right. Look the person straight in the eye and ask, “So you mean that…” and convey his criticism in your own words.

Be careful what you say, be to the point, and avoid the temptation to exaggerate what the person has said to you. Let the person know that you want to sincerely get to the bottom of the matter.

Thus, you will show him exactly how you took his words and this will be the most adequate first reaction to criticism.

The tactic of objective repetition and return of a critique can piss off the critic and it's time to start a real constructive discussion.

Start your phrases like this: “From my point of view ...”, and when you feel that a person is ashamed of his unconstructive criticism and his pride is hurt, you can use this phrase: “We had a misunderstanding. It happens to everyone, don't worry.

Do not forget that if a person is furious, and you are calm, it is noticeable to others and your calm reaction to unconstructive criticism will only improve your reputation among colleagues.

If, nevertheless, after you have returned the criticism back to the person, he again returns to his words, then it is time to buy some time for a good answer.

Don't be offended by unconstructive criticism.

Set yourself up in such a way that you react calmly to any criticism or even insult: “What makes you think that I'm a fool?” Even if you now understand that you were accused unfounded, that's all - still remain calm and tactfully express your point of view.

Try not to make excuses, just tell your opponent what you think about it. It should be understood that even if your critic realizes that he was wrong, this may infringe on his pride. In case your boss criticizes you, try to smooth the corners as much as possible and let him know that there was just a misunderstanding.

Of course, after such, and perhaps unconstructive criticism, your self-esteem already suffers. Even if you know that you did everything right and do not deserve such treatment, your self-confidence may suffer.

Take care to increase your self-confidence and your abilities

Remember that the problem is in the other person's criticism and perception of your actions, and not in you as a person. You have not become worse or better, you have acted exactly as you considered it necessary to act.

Practice critical thinking towards non-constructive criticism and stay optimistic. Make the right conclusions and in no case do not doubt yourself. Be the best!